Cassylvania

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  1. Wow, you aren't kidding about being an RPG fan. Those are some quality games there (especially the 3DS backlog). I hope you try out some of the older Fire Emblem games sometime, if you haven't played them yet. But if you're really planning to play all those, you're pretty much set for the next 10-15 years.
  2. While I get why some people might want this, I'm against it for two reasons. First, I don't think it'd be easy to implement. What would be considered a "stack"? Are games from different regions stacks? What about different platforms? What about different editions of the same game (e.g. Shadow of Mordor vs. Shadow of Mordor GOTY or Shantae Half-Genie Hero vs. Shantae HGH Ultimate Edition)? What about remasters? Somebody is going to have to code all that, and keep it updated. The second reason is because suggestions are very rarely implemented, and I think there are other more pressing ones (like showing games by series). Does stacking really bother people that much, if effort still has to go in to earning those trophies? (Auto-pops, sure, but those are in the minority.)
  3. Jackie Chan is one of the greatest human beings on the planet. i didn't hesitate to have him join my XCOM squad. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 8 OPERATION BLACK NIGHT My greatest regret in this playthrough so far is not Liam's death; it's forgetting to put an Interceptor over North America. I ALWAYS forget to do that when I launch a satellite over a new continent. And, unfortunately, it's probably going to cost us the US. Unless we get a council mission between now and the end of April (probably tomorrow or Wednesday), they'll likely going to pull out of the XCOM project, and take their big fat checkbook with them. I'm also going to take the mission in Australia, despite it having a panic level of 1. The other two choices are Russia and Mexico, which are at a panic level of 4 (one less than max). If the US pulls out, we might as well sacrifice Canada and Mexico, and focus our satellite efforts on Europe instead. Thus, we can afford to have Russia pissed at us. Asia...not so much. Yes, their panic level is as low as it can be, but let's try to keep it that way. We've got enough to worry about. I'm not going to accept failure for this mission. We're bringing Margot, Ameera, Trump, Wlad, and Chan. It's time we steamroll these fuckin' aliens. We rolled up on a city street, in broad daylight (despite the operation name). There's a big building ahead. We're going to sneak around... Got a nice overwatch trap set up in the back alley. I will admit to having to "cheat" once, though, as the game lied to me about how many aliens were hunting for me. If the game isn't going to play fair, neither am I. (Now it's not even letting me go through a door, even though it's clearly open.) Margot creates her own door -- WITH A FUCKIN' GRENADE. Last alien was caught in the explosion. Bad place to stand. MISSION: COMPLETE Wow. Six countries in mass panic now. This could almost be a game over. They better give me a council mission... Hilariously, there's a UFO flying over the US now. At least I was able to shoot this one down. I guess that's where we pick up tomorrow. CURRENT ROSTER Lt. Ameera "Princess" al-Taweel (Support) Cpl. Donald Trump (Heavy) Sq. Eddie Van Halen (Support) Sq. Jackie Chan (Support) Lt. Margot “Harley” Robbie (Assault) Sq. Sheena Easton (Heavy) Sgt. Wladimir “Steelhammer” Klitschko (Sniper) KILLED IN ACTION Cpl. Liam Neeson (Heavy) – blown to smithereens in Operation Rotting Thorn (Mission No. 4)
  4. Oh, crap. I gotta double post. You guys should insert random comments between these updates so I don't look like I'm talking to myself. I get enough flak for that IRL. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 7 OPERATION HOT FUTURE Chrome has this weird bug where the scroll button on my mouse won't move the browser page up or down unless I refresh the site. Not sure why I feel the need to point this out, but it's kinda getting on my nerves because I'm always afraid of losing my typing when I refresh the page. Anyway, where were we...? Oh, yes. UFO landing mission. Wlad is wounded. We all know what happened the last time we didn't bring Wlad on a mission... Despite this, I think we're going to bring ONE rookie. We have to take advantage of the fact that we've only seen Sectoids and Thin Men so far to get as many soldiers as possible to at least Squaddie rank. That is not something we want to worry about when we have Berserkers and Sectopods stomping around the place. So, here we go, with Jackie Chan, the ageless wonder. He's avoided death so many times -- will the aliens be so lucky? Joining him will be Margot, Ameera, and Trump. Since this IS a UFO mission, it'd be nice if Trump doesn't go in and blow up the place with rockets, but it's good to have that as a backup strategy. Also, I forgot to mention it, but Margot has Lightning Reflexes now, which means she will always dodge the first overwatch shot. That's going to be critical in breaking through enemy lines. The ship dropped us oddly close to the UFO. Not sure I like that. We'll camp near that hill and wait for the aliens to come to us. (Sensing a pattern here?) Despite what I said, Trump just launched a rocket into a pod of Sectoids. I didn't like the fact that there were three of them. Another pod of three appeared. This place is swarming with buggers. What the hell is this crap!? Three Floaters too!? Okay. Uh. Trump, THIS would have been the time to use a rocket. There are SEVEN active aliens wanting to eat us. Instead, Jackie Chan goes in with a grenade. Floaters have 4 HP, but at least it destroyed their cover too. The girls make their shot. Trump does not. Two aliens down. Ameera dodges. Chan dodges. I don't like being under fire like this. Haven't had to use this yet, but Ameera throws a smoke grenade! Everybody, into the smoke! Trump, reload. Ya wasted all your ammo, dude. Smoke grenade was a waste. The aliens never moved up. I've lost count of how many there are out there. I don't like this position anyway. Ameera is exposed. Four missed overwatches. Seriously, guys -- if you're the only hope for this planet, Earth is fucked. OK. Another Sectoid down. I know there's at LEAST one Floater and one Sectoid still roaming around. The Sectoid actually worries me more because he's across the creek bed, which is in our flanking position. Oh, there's one! Sectoid on the hill! God, I'd LOVE to snipe his ass right now. Did I mention I do NOT like our position? Pulling everybody into a tighter circle. We don't have enough cover for all the bodies here. Ideally, I'd take that hill from the Sectoid, but I don't know how many are up there... Margot, push forward. You can at least break through one overwatch... Everybody else, cover her! We're taking that hill. BEAUTIFUL shot, Ameera! Girl, I can always count on you. Sectoid down. Let's get to higher ground. Floater in the sky! Trump, despite having the potential to do 5 damage to the Floater, only does 3. You do realize a wounded alien is just as dangerous as a healthy one, right, Trump? Chan makes a 45% shot to end the Floater. The mission still isn't over. But we own the hill now. The question is, are there any active aliens left, or just whatever is inside the UFO (presumably an Outsider)? Either way, Margot triggers the Outsider and pulls back... Despite waiting about eighteen turns, I don't think the Outsider is coming to us. Margot pushes towards the UFO... Everybody else, keep the high ground. We're going to flush this bitch out. OK. We got lucky. There's no excuse for what I just did. I had Margot fire at the Outsider from point-blank range (despite having no support), with only a 60% chance to critical. She did not, and the Outsider somehow missed her on the next turn. That could've EASILY been the end of Margot. Instead, she finishes off the Outsider, and I am cursing under my breath about my own stupidity. Mission still isn't over. The heck is left? Well, we got the UFO now, for what it's worth. I guess we just peek outside... Oh, it's that Sectoid from the creek bed. What's he been doing all this time? Taking a bath? Four very badass XCOM soldiers step out of the UFO, weapons cocked, and grin at the alien standing by the side of the creek, naked and alone. Poor guy doesn't even have cover. "Looks like we got a new hood ornament," Ameera says, before blowing the alien's head clean off. MISSION:COMPLETE A flawless mission in April, and everybody gets promoted! What more could you ask for? Margot takes Rapid Fire (don't like the accuracy drop, but can't complain about taking two shots at once), Trump takes Bullet Swarm (that's two shots too!), Ameera takes Field Medic (and earns a nickname), and Chan becomes a Support. We've finally made it to the steam vent. Just need to excavate it. Beam Weapons are (is?) finished! Xeno-Biology next. OTS is finished! FINALLY. Let's sell some alien butts and get Squad Size I! Don't have enough money to build a Thermal Generator yet. That's unfortunate. Let's research Arc Thrower next. Hm. Forgot to put an Interceptor in the US. They're now in full panic. That's a beautiful fuck up. Well... Shit. CURRENT ROSTER Sgt. Ameera "Princess" al-Taweel (Support) Cpl. Donald Trump (Heavy) Sq. Eddie Van Halen (Support) Sq. Jackie Chan (Support) Lt. Margot “Harley” Robbie (Assault) Sq. Sheena Easton (Heavy) Sgt. Wladimir “Steelhammer” Klitschko (Sniper) KILLED IN ACTION Cpl. Liam Neeson (Heavy) – blown to smithereens in Operation Rotting Thorn (Mission No. 4)
  5. Another update, so I can lock in my EZPZ game before it's no longer qualified. I had three choices to pick from, and this is the one that went on sale first. Category Game (With Region/Version) Qualifier Completion EZPZ Old Man’s Journey 80.88% rarity 0% Ultra Rare XCOM: Enemy Unknown 0.96% rarity 90% Platinum-Less Resident Evil 4 No platinum 100% Unpopular Pic-a-Pix Pieces (NA) 54 owners 100% DLC Arkham City (Harley Quinn’s Revenge) DLC Pack 4 100% Difficulty Guacamelee! STCE That was Hard Mode? 100% Speed Run Spyro: Ripto’s Rage! Hypersonic 100% MP Hidden Agenda The Rivals 100% Peripherals Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure Toys-to-life 100% Bad Rep Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back (NA) Metacritic: 45 100%
  6. I missed my chance for a V-day plat too. You would think I'd have the foresight to save at least ONE of those games I just platinumed over the last week for my birthday. Instead, I started playing another platless game called Mahjong... Every now and then, I need to just play something calming. You aren't the only one who needs to relax. I have no idea why I'm stressed out all the time. Oh, wait. Yeah, I do. It's because of this. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 6 OPERATION SOARING DAZE We're off to Tokyo, to get $200. The money in this game has always looked odd to me. I'm assuming it's US currency, since they use the dollar sign, but $200 seems like an awfully crap amount of money for a covert operation that likely costs tens of thousands of dollars in supplies and personnel. You low-balling me, Japan? You want to end up like Brazil? I didn't think so. Shade aside, we'll be bringing Wlad, Ameera, Margot, and Trump. The OGs, as I call them now. Like I said, we need to get one of the first three to rank up, so it's imperative that Trump doesn't get all the kills. We're also going to buy one SCOPE and give it to Wlad. It increases his accuracy, at the cost of not having a grenade, which seems like a fair trade for a Sniper. Ameera can hold the Medkit. I believe that makes her immune to poison too. Might need that, because newer and harder aliens will begin to show up now that it's April. Um, I forgot to back up my save. Oh, well. What could PAWSSIBLY go wrong? We rolled a construction site map. Not a bad one. We got vehicles and a big crane we can hide behind. Maybe an outhouse too. Because that would provide so much cover. My biggest fear in an open map is triggering two pods at once. To be safe, we're going to move to a corner and slowly advance. Yup. Thin Men. My worst fear. (Yes, I know I just contradicted myself.) Trump gets a kill. Bad Trump! Ugh. Wlad got shot. He MURDERS the second Thin Man with a critical shot, but he's in bad shape. Snipers aren't supposed to get hit. Do we really want to waste our Medkit on him? There's still a long way to go in this mission... Pulling back with Wlad. Not sure he'll have a LoS on the rest of the map, but he's dead if he gets hit again. Everyone else, move up slowly! Margot and Wlad miss an overwatch. So much for that SCOPE. Fortunately, the alien missed Margot. To make up for their past transgressions, Margot and Ameera both land a 33% chance shot to hit a mind-meldee. That's what I'm going to call Sectoids from now on. That gets Wlad and Ameera a kill. Let's try to make sure they get the rest of the kills, just in case that's not enough to rank up. Deja vu. Margot and Wlad miss an overwatch. I see glimpses of the alien scuttering around in the darkness. Come on, little buddy... Step right into our trap. Third time's a charm! Margot blasts the Sectoid to hell! Wait a second. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO GET A KILL. Ugh. Fine. Reload and let's get ready to move up again. One annoying thing about this game is you never know how many aliens there are per map (or per pod). I think there's a facility later that tells you that at the beginning of each mission, but it's not always accurate. Still, I have a feeling there's one more pod to go, and it's probably just Sectoids. You can kinda tell because when it's the enemy's turn, you can hear them moving around, and each alien has a distinct noise. Sectoids sound like Jabba the Hutt on helium. Yup. Sectoids. Well, boys -- let's let them come to us. Margot, move back! But not until Wlad (*BLAM!*) kills one of them. Ameera overwatches the second. My girl. MISSION: COMPLETE Margot and Wlad both rank up! That also means they earn a nickname. I think you'll approve of both. Obviously, we're putting the cash reward towards the OTS. Dang. The game gave me NO time before tossing me into a UFO landing mission. Wlad's going to have to sit this one out, despite only having minor injuries. "Dr. Steelhammer," my butt... CURRENT ROSTER Cpl. Ameera al-Taweel (Support) Sq. Donald Trump (Heavy) Sq. Eddie Van Halen (Support) Sgt. Margot “Harley” Robbie (Assault) Sq. Sheena Easton (Heavy) Sgt. Wladimir “Steelhammer” Klitschko (Sniper) – WOUNDED (3 days) KILLED IN ACTION Cpl. Liam Neeson (Heavy) – blown to smithereens in Operation Rotting Thorn (Mission No. 4)
  7. Thanks, guys! Probably going out this weekend to see a movie for my birthday. Debating between Glass and The Upside... Maybe that Liam Neeson film. Anyway, let's do the daily XCOM thing. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 5 OPERATION COLD DREAM I blame yesterday's debacle on my lack of sleep and preparedness. I got my data backed up to the cloud for this one, but we shouldn't need it. Let's just take it nice and slow, get through this mission without any causalities, and have a whole team of ranked soldiers that we can cycle through. That's right -- we'll be introducing two new rookies for this operation: Eddie Van Halen from the Netherlands and Sheena Easton from Scotland. They'll be jumping and strutting their way to victory against the alien invasion. Wlad is glad he was included in this mission. I have a nagging feeling we would have been okay yesterday if he had been there to cover Liam. Hopefully Margot isn't still traumatized from what she witnessed... While I REALLY want that cash reward in South Africa, we're going for the Difficult mission in Australia. We can't afford to lose Oz. Wlad can have the Medkit this time... Operation Cold Dream is underway. I don't even recognize this map. It looks like an alley with a couple of buildings... I'd love to take position on top of a roof, but inside a building would be good too. I just hope there aren't any Thin Men. Remember: nice and slow... OK. We took out the aliens in the building closest to our starting point. I can now confirm if you kill the mind-melder (not the mind-meldee), it kills both Sectoids. I can also confirm Wlad is a badass with a pistol, because that was a low percentage shot. This building only seems to have windows on one side, and they're facing towards the edge of the map. This could make an excellent camping spot for us... Let's move in. Shit. Margot got shot from the alley and panicked. Fortunately, she killed the alien that was closing in. Unfortunately, she triggered another pod in the process. Pretty sure we got three Sectoids hunting for us now. Wlad, heal Margot. We need to reposition. Did we just trigger ANOTHER pod? This building is flooded with Sectoids. Sheena moves in with a grenade. Two aliens for the price of one! Eddie takes out one with a grenade too. Good. That'll get them both a rank up. Getting nervous about where the other aliens might be. Saw a mind-meld in the building next to us. I'm not sure if the aliens are smart enough to sneak around the alley and flank us. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to do the same to them. I got Eddie and Margot guarding the alley doHOLYSHITANALIENJUSTBARGEDIN. Four overwatches leave him splattered on the ground. That was hilarious. Eddie misses an 87% chance shot to kill his friend. Margot does not miss with a 100% chance. MISSION: COMPLETE Good to be back in the win column. That was a little scary playing hide-and-seek with Sectoids, but we made good use of that magazine store. Eddie is now a Support and Sheena is a Heavy. Would've liked Margot to rank up too, but that's okay. We've reached the end of March. Any country in full panic mode is going to pull out of the XCOM project if we don't launch a satellite now. I'm not wasting it on Brazil, though. Yes, it will suck not having the South America bonus, but we NEED the money from the US. That's $180 per month. Brazil won't even cough up half of that. Cheapskates. $375 for us to spend! Let's get a Satellite Uplink going and three more satellites. We also need to dig towards that steam vent... Got enough alien butts to make that happen. Looks like we got another alien abduction tomorrow. We'll take the cash reward in Japan. Their panic level is low, but the other rewards are scientists (gross) and a soldier. Plus, we're only 5 (in-game) days away from Beam Weapons, so we're going to need that money! Liking our team, boys. Tomorrow, we really need Margot/Wlad/Ameera to rank up, because I think that will open the door to building an Officer Training School (and thus increasing the number of soldiers we can take on each mission). CURRENT ROSTER Cpl. Ameera al-Taweel (Support) Sq. Donald Trump (Heavy) Sq. Eddie Van Halen (Support) Cpl. Margot Robbie (Assault) Sq. Sheena Easton (Heavy) Cpl. Wladimir Klitschko (Sniper) KILLED IN ACTION Cpl. Liam Neeson (Heavy) – blown to smithereens in Operation Rotting Thorn (Mission No. 4)
  8. It is. Thank you! I got the day off work, so I'm just knocking out the Harley Quinn DLC and a couple combat challenges. And helping Jens with that stupid Foul Play game that I told him not to play. I like how he's literally the only person playing this game on multiplayer right now. (Probably ever.) Makes finding him in the lobby quite easy. And this shit isn't even working. Why is this game so bad? Even more annoying, I missed my chance for Snap To It in Arkham City, so I'm going to have to play through the DLC again. Today's theme is bombs, fails, and Harley Quinn. It's like the Valentine's Day from hell.
  9. Happy Valentine's Day! Let's murder some alien scum. ♥️ But before we get to that, I have another announcement to make. Yes, the platinum bloodbath continues, with this game that I forgot I was playing and apparently stopped at the hardest part of the game, forcing me to relearn the controls just to get to last few trophies. Platinum #157 - Guacamelee! Super Turbo Championship Edition Fun stuff. Might knock out the DLC this weekend, if I have time. It's only $2.99, which is a reasonable amount to pay for a little extra content (take note, Cities). Anyway, on with the show! XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 4 OPERATION ROTTING THORN I said yesterday that how we handle this mission will dictate the tone for the rest of this playthrough. I'm going to replace Wlad with Trump. The way I see it, even if we are successful in defusing this bomb, we're probably going to take some damage. I have no idea how we've managed three flawless missions so far on Ironman, but our luck has to run out sometime. That's XCOM, baby. But even if everybody is hurt or killed, we can push on with Wlad and a team of rookies. So... Here we go. Ameera, Liam, Margot, and Trump lead the way! We definitely want Ameera to have the Medkit, in case we get poisoned by Thin Men. (Yes, this will be our first encounter with those toxic assholes. Also, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the rose-themed name the RNG gave this operation today.) Fortunately, we did NOT roll the train map. I likely would've aborted the mission right away if we had. Instead, we're on a long narrow bridge, which means I really wish we had Wlad. We're advancing slowly, but the aliens aren't appearing. Gotta keep pushing. The clock is ticking. One Thin Man appeared. That's weird -- they usually have buddies. Liam is poisoned! Ameera triggered a Sectoid pod! This is bad. Very bad. LIAM IS DOWN! Guys, shit just hit the fan. The Thin Man rushed him. He's not dead, but he'll bleed out in three turns. We're so fucked. Ameera just took 4 points of damage too. We're pulling out. This mission is a failure. Rushing the evac zone. Trump took down the Thin Man, but got poisoned in the process. He also dodged a shot from the Sectoid that would've killed him. Ameera wasted her Medkit on Liam. Trump was ONE space away from not making in to the evac zone on time. Liam...is dead. Liam looks up at the Skyranger, as the timer on the bomb reaches zero. MISSION: ABORTED That was terrible. I know I said I was going to make backup saves at the beginning of each mission, but I didn't. (I did, however, use the middle button cheat once, but only because I fucked up and pressed select instead of start to abort the mission. Not used to using either of those in this game.) Well, Ameera is wounded for 8 days, Trump for 9, and Trump is now a Heavy. Let the jokes commence. I was stupid to take that mission. Thin Men are too dangerous. But what really killed us (well, Liam) is the timer. When that Thin Man appeared, I should've pulled back and let him come to us. We just didn't have time for that. Lesson learned. We can recover from this. Brazil is in full panic mode, and we didn't get that sweet cash reward, but we'll press on. It's what Liam would've wanted. We're going to research Beam Weapons. It'll take 24 (in-game) days, but we gotta get our guns to pack more punch. Alright. Tomorrow's mission will be an alien abduction. We can go with the Easy one in South Africa for $200 or the Difficult one in Australia for 4 engineers. Might let you guys pick. We need engineers for satellite coverage, but we need money to buy the satellites. Either way, it'll be Wlad, Margot, and two rookies. Fan-freakin-tastic... CURRENT ROSTER Ameera al-Taweel (Support) – WOUNDED (1 day) Donald Trump (Heavy) – WOUNDED (2 days) Margot Robbie (Assault) Wladimir Klitschko (Sniper) KILLED IN ACTION Liam Neeson (Heavy) – blown to smitheerens in Operation Rotting Thorn (Mission No. 4)
  10. The biggest flaw in the first game was the time limit. If they took that out, this could be amazing.
  11. The brutal massacre of my backlog continues. These games never even stood a chance. Category Game (With Region/Version) Qualifier Completion EZPZ Ultra Rare XCOM: Enemy Unknown 0.96% 90% Platinum-Less Resident Evil 4 No platinum 100% Unpopular Pic-a-Pix Pieces (NA) 54 owners 100% DLC Arkham City (Harley Quinn’s Revenge) DLC Pack 4 Difficulty Guacamelee! STCE That was Hard Mode? 100% Speed Run Spyro: Ripto’s Rage! Hypersonic 100% MP Hidden Agenda The Rivals 100% Peripherals Skylanders: Spyro’s Adventure Toys-to-life 100% Bad Rep Bubsy: The Woolies Strike Back (NA) Metacritic: 45 100%
  12. I kinda want to stick to real people, as fictional characters could be saved for another playthrough (most likely my XCOM:EW run). These are all good ideas, and I had considered Dolph Lundgren and Van Damme too. I actually found a website that lists famous people by nationality, so that should come in handy. Tomorrow's decision on whether or not to bring Wlad into a bomb disposal mission may set the tone for the rest of this playthrough. Normally, you would want to replace a Sniper with anything else, but our only other choice is a Rookie (thanks, Trump). Plus, the MAIN threat on this mission will be the reinforcements that appear after we defuse the bomb. Having a Sniper for that part would be very useful. Thus, I see two approaches. One approach is we bring all of our best characters (Wlad, Liam, Margot, and Ameera) and go for a sweep. We've managed three flawless missions so far, so I'm feeling pretty confident. But a wipe means we're stuck with a team full of rookies. The other option is to have Wlad sit this one out. We're less likely to win if we drag Trump along, but Wlad + three rookies is manageable, if we can't get to the bomb in time. Thus, we now have to decide between short term gains and big picture results. Oh, and this happened. (Site is down for maintenance, but trust me on this one.) Platinum #156 - Pic-a-Pix Pieces Not as good as Pic-a-Pix Color -- and the 20x20 grids came dangerously close to Phil territory -- but a decent puzzle game, if you like this sort of thing. I'm still convinced the first picture is a cop flipping the bird. There's even a bird in the background, which makes no sense if the cop is supposed to be driving a car. Maybe it's a confused sea captain... I don't know. Also, the cupcake is a lie. There was no such picture.
  13. Well, you played Enemy Within, which I haven't! It has a bunch of new features and (supposedly) better balancing. Going back and playing the the original XCOM now makes me appreciate all the changes that were made in XCOM 2, so I think it's going to be interesting to see that middle step. (And, yes, I already bought XCOM:EW for the PS3.) Let's do some early morning XCOM'ing! XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 3 OPERATION BLIND VENGEANCE Like I said last night, we need to start rotating rookies into these missions. Unfortunately, we won't be able to build the Officer Training School for a while, so we're limited to four soldiers per mission. I don't want Wlad sitting any missions out, as we NEED him to get Squadsight as soon as possible, and we'll need Liam for an emergency rocket if things get hairy. (Yes, these aliens have hair.) Ideally, we won't blow up part of the UFO, but our lives are more important than some alien scrap metal. So, taking Ameera's place today will be Donald Trump himself! (This is obviously an alternate timeline where he lost the 2016 election and Hillary Clinton turned out to be an alien in disguise.) He tried to ask for a deferment, but Commander C (that's me) doesn't give a shit about bone spurs. Trump was immediately thrust into the front ranks and told to defend his country! Unfortunately, some intern thought it would be funny to slap a Russian flag on the back of his uniform... It was. Having recently earned the Lone Wolf trophy, I know it's entirely possible to solo this mission with a Heavy. I also know it's possible to get one-shot by the Outsider alien in the UFO. The strategy is going to be to lure the Outsider outside of the UFO, if Wlad isn't able to kill him right away. If we had Squadsight, we could rush Margot in, trigger the bitch, take our shot with Wlad, and then get Margot out of there if it isn't a clean kill. We...might end up doing that anyway. Anyway, let's get started. Going to give the Medkit to Wlad. We shouldn't need a grenade on a Sniper. Not going to move from the starting position just yet. As will be the case with every mission from here on out, we want the aliens coming to us -- not vice versa. No movement after four turns. And I don't like we're on low ground. Moving up. Triggered a pod, but they're too far away to hit with Overwatch. Moving Liam behind a tree for full cover. Margot and Trump cover him behind a rock. Wlad...stays where he is. Snipers can't move and use a rifle on the same turn (unless you get some skill that we won't be taking, because the other choice is better). ALIENS ON THE HILL! I REPEAT, ALIENS ON THE HILL! Everybody missed with Overwatch. Margot is using a shotgun. I am PRETTY SURE I equipped her with a rifle. What the hell is this shit? Plus, we lost sight of him. Trump, move up and get us an LoS! OK. I wasn't able to spot him, but I DID see where the one alien...mind-melded...him, or whatever it is they do when they use that psionic buff. He's hiding behind a rock. Going to have Trump blindly throw a grenade into that region, because we can't risk moving up further. BOOM! One less alien to worry about! Good job, Agent Orange. I forget if killing one mind-melded alien kills the other. I think you have to kill the buffer, not the buffee. No, Trump, not buffet! Focus. OK, this is bizarre. Another mind-meld just happened. Did we trigger another pod? There's one alien walking away with 2/4 HP, which means...oh, I'm stupid. Grenades do 3 damage, so the first attack didn't kill him (Sectoids only have 3 HP, but the buff gives them 4), and apparently they can use mind-meld multiple times. Kinda cheap. Anyway, he's parked behind a tree. Trump, take that 51% shot! Missed. Of course. Going to play it safe. Liam, use a grenade! GOODBYE ALIEN...and tree. Poor tree. Margot misses an overshot because she's using a shotgun from a mile away. Trump, take a 45% shot. 2 damage. Pathetic. Margot moves in and BAM! Right in the face. That's one dead alien. Let's reload. Remember, boys and girls -- take turns reloading. You always want half your team in overwatch, just in case. We really want that hill, so let's move up and get in a better position. Downed UFO spotted! It's a little closer to the hill than I would've liked, but we can set up camp here. Wlad was useless on that first wave because of his positioning. Alright. Margot found the second pod. Let's play KING OF THE HILL. Liam does 3 damage, but the bitch was mind-minded! Wlad misses the kill shot. Somebody get that boy a Scope. Alien takes a shot at Margot, but misses. We didn't deserve that. Liam has had it with these motherfriggin' aliens on this motherfriggin' UFO. He brings out a rocket. I don't THINK it will do any damage to the UFO if we blow up the structures surrounding it. I should really pay attention to the pop-ups on the screen instead of typing after each turn so I would know if the mind-melders are still alive. Think we're safe. Going to move around the UFO to get a better angle on where I assume the Outsider will be. There he is! Oh, boy. Well, I see two options. We could move everybody back and wait for him to come to us, or we could move Margot up -- either with a grenade or Run&Gun -- and try to take him out on this turn. The grenade won't kill him, but it could destroy his cover. But I'm not sure the grenade will even reach him... Plus, I'm still not 100% sure he's alone in that UFO. Wlad doesn't have a clear shot either, so... Let's play it safe. We got lucky. Outsider missed Liam. I usually do NOT have things go my way like this. Outsider took cover behind an outside structure, so I have no qualms about sending Margot in with a grenade to take care of it. Liam gets the kill shot! The mission...is not over. Mind-melders must still be lurking. Where oh where can the mind-melder be? Margot took him away from me. He's gone to heaven so we gotta be good, so we can see our mind-melder when we leeeave this world. MISSION: COMPLETE Everybody gets promoted to Corporal, except Trump, who got 0 kills and is still a Rookie. That's just great. So glad we brought you along. We'll take Holo-Targeting on Liam for better group accuracy, Tactical Sense on Margot (meh), and SQUADSIGHT ON WLAD. Hell yeah. Trump, you can drag in the damaged UFO Power Source, which you probably broke by tripping over it with your bone spurs. We've dug to the third row of our base. We don't have the funds to reach the steam vent yet, but I suppose I could sell that power source and some alien corpses... Alright, guys. That's where we'll leave it for today. Our next mission will be a bomb disposal, so we can't keep playing turtle. We'll have to make a big decision of whether or not to bring Wlad, knowing that bomb disposal missions require constant advancement. If that bomb goes off, we lose everybody, so the stakes couldn't be higher. CURRENT ROSTER Ameera al-Taweel (Support) Donald Trump (Rookie) Liam Neeson (Heavy) Margot Robbie (Assault) Wladimir Klitschko (Sniper)
  14. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 2 OPERATION DEVIL'S HAMMER Alright, guys. Let's meet our first four soldiers! First up, from Ukraine, we have professional boxer and former heavyweight CHAMPION OF THE WORLD Wladimir Klitschko. The aliens really fucked up when they kidnapped his girlfriend (?) Hayden Panettiere. In fact, he punched one of them so hard that he broke his hand and can only use a sniper rifle in combat. Wladimir may be done boxing, but he's not done fighting. Next we have Princess Ameera al-Taweel of Saudi Arabia. Already a champion of equal rights, Ameera spearheaded the Women Against XCOM (WAX) movement, forcing Executive Officer and male chauvinist Bradford to finally allow women into his ranks. Now, XCOM only discriminates against alien scum! From Australia, we have Margot Robbie, who is blamed for the entire alien invasion. A recent report from CNN tells us that the Elders saw Suicide Squad from their home planet and decided Earth had to be destroyed. By Bradford's command, Margot was forced into the front lines, even though we all really know it's the writers who are to blame. Finally, we have Liam Neeson. He has a very particular set of...well, you know the rest. We'll deal with the other eight soldiers later. This'll be enough to get us started. Now, I don't really have a plan for base-building. Our primary concern needs to be satellite coverage. I chose Africa as our starting continent because of the great bonus (not really; it was because I needed to for the trophy), so we're going to want to get satellite over North America as soon as possible. South America would be nice too. Instant autopsies and interrogations! I'm not sure if we should rush lasers. More damage is nice, but the aliens should die quickly, assuming we can hit them. As for facilities... We only have one steam vent, and it's at the far end of the third row. That's going to make power management a pain. So, I'm typing this as I play (my updates won't usually be this detailed), and we gotta make a decision for the abduction mission. We can do France for engineers, Brazil for scientists (gross), or the US for cash. That money looks nice, BUT... We're probably going to launch a satellite over the US by the end of the first month, so I'm not really worried about panic levels there right now. Plus, the France mission is considered "Easy," and engineers ARE the most important resource in the early game, so this is really a no-brainer. Giving Ameera a Medkit, even though I might regret losing a grenade in the process. And we rolled a convenience store map. Another parking lot start... Hm. We triggered a pod early, but Liam blew up one alien and Ameera took out the other with a risky 50/50 shot. Really liking her RNG this game. Need to get Wlad to a better position for sniping. I'm not even moving from the opening spot. The girls are covering the gigantic hole Liam opened in the convenience store, while the guys are covering their rear to make sure we don't get flanked. One alien has already walked into our overwatch trap. Wlad took out the other. That's it. Flawless mission. MISSION: COMPLETE Damn. That was a bit TOO easy. Liam is now a Heavy (thank God), and Ameera has been promoted to Corporal! We'll be taking Covering Fire for her. Brazil and the US are pissed at us for ignoring their missions, but you can't please everybody. Let's prep one satellite for the US. We're also going to dig down to the third row of our base. We gotta get to that steam vent. We'll also sell some alien carcasses and get ourselves a basic power generator. Shooting down our first UFO. And that's where we'll pick up tomorrow! Even though nobody has been wounded yet, I think we'll swap out either Margot or Ameera so we can level up another rookie. We don't want to be caught with our pants around our legs when these missions ramp up in difficulty. CURRENT ROSTER Ameera al-Taweel (Support) Liam Neeson (Heavy) Margot Robbie (Assault) Wladimir Klitschko (Sniper)
  15. Will do. I'm actually already done with the first mission. Yeah, I know -- that was quick. XCOM IRONMAN, MISSION NO. 1 OPERATION FALLEN GIANT I was planning to keep restarting until I had a perfect first mission (just because you can really screw yourself over if you start out with wounded soldiers), but I managed to do it on my first try. We rolled the diner, which is usually a tricky map because the aliens get the building for cover and you get the parking lot, but they walked right into our overwatch trap. I think only one of them even got a shot off and he missed. Unfortunately, only three soldiers ranked up, and we're without a Heavy going into the next mission. That's...pretty bad, considering a Heavy is crucial in the early game, but we can still rely on grenades for guaranteed damage. I'm also glad we didn't lose anybody on the first mission, because you can't actually customize your soldiers until you get back to HQ. As always, we start the game with twelve soldiers, and we can't change gender and race. This is what we got: Ukrainian guy (Sniper) Saudi Arabian girl (Support) Australian girl (Assault) Irish guy Russian guy Dutch guy Chinese guy Russian guy Belgium girl American girl Scottish girl Greek girl While I already have the necessary trophy, it's about time this game gives me some female units. That's some equal opportunity XCOM recruitment. We'll probably end up recruiting a few more when I have the money, but we should at least come up with names for the first four or five. Saudi Arabian girl stole four kills in that first mission (pretty sure she's the one who dodged that attack too), so she's well on her way to being named captain. MISSION: COMPLETE