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Status Updates posted by damon8r351

  1. The reason I brought up Boris Johnson's lack of hair combing earlier is because anyone who has taught students at the high school level or higher, has led troops in the military, or has worked at a Gamestop or comics store knows that every once in awhile, you need to quietly take aside someone who is ostensibly an adult and say, "Look man, this is kind of difficult for me, but I need to tell you that there has been a few complaints about your...ahem, personal hygiene..."


    This sort of conversation needs to be handled delicately, and I know not everyone likes to be the one that has to do it.

  2. Has anybody ever thought to take Boris Johnson aside and say, "Dude, comb your fucking hair"?


    I'm asking because there's two possibilities: Someone has and he just doesn't want to, or nobody has and this is the first time it's been brought up.

    1. DaivRules


      You left out the possibility that someone has and this is his best attempt at it.

    2. Cleggworth


      His popularity stems from the fact that he is a buffoon and the hair helps reinforce it. His clothes barely fit him properly either

    3. damon8r351


      Okay, good, I was hoping I wasn't the only one seeing this.

  3. So I found some of that TLOU2 leaked footage on Youtube, description of the video says, "The Last of Us 2 leaked gameplay spreading atm". I know the preferred definition of "atm" is "at this moment", but I read that with the other definition of "atm" in mind. Therefore I comprehended that description as, "The Last of Us 2 leaked gameplay spreading ass to mouth", which is more fitting.

  4. You know, I wonder if Super Mario Bros. 2 was released in today's age, there'd be a thread 6 pages deep of people bitching about "SJW pandering" because of the character Birdo.

    1. Stardroid


      But that woman has muscles, bro!! story ruined - pepe frog guy

    2. Stan Lee

      Stan Lee

      Yoshi is even worse in that regard, when you think about it!

    3. AJ_Radio


      The older Metal Gear Solid games would get a lot of scrutiny. That much I can probably guarantee.


      It's all the crybaby millennials out there bitching about the "SJW pandering".

  5. I used to work for a guy that had an irrational hatred for the color pink, because he falsely equated it with homosexuality. So naturally whenever I needed to give him paperwork that had to have parts of it highlighted, I invariably used a fluorescent pink marker. And yes, I still do things like that. If you're an asshole and make the mistake of making what bothers you known to me, I will poke at it until you explode.

    1. Rally-Vincent---


      What if he hated to be given a lot of money?

    2. AJ_Radio


      Would of loved to see his reactions when he saw the pink color.

  6. I belong to to a tiny Final Fantasy XIV free company (we don't even have enough members to scrape together a full party), and the company leader gets bent out of shape because people keep joining and then leaving within the next hour. I don't know how to tell him it's probably because those people see his rampant misspellings all over the company pages and assume that's also how the company is run. I'm assuming he's dyslexic which is why I haven't mentioned this to him, because you know he probably has people in real life living in his ass about that enough as it is.

    1. ihadalifeb4this


      Well done! Now try to show that kind of restraint here. 🙃

  7. Nothing's worse than there being a horror narration youtube channel, and the narrator has some tragically inappropriate accent, like West Virginian or anything from the British Isles.

  8. The reason jolly old Saint Nick is so jolly is because in addition to being the patron saint of children, he's also the patron saint of prostitutes.

    1. DaivRules


      Prostitutes deserve love, too. 

  9. Like other people, I've been trying some new things to fill the void. Like today, I spent time looking for something no doubt incredibly rare: video of Donald Trump giving a sincere apology. Specifically, I was looking for him saying the words, "I'm sorry."


    Let me tell you, either I really suck at Google or it doesn't fucking exist. Nothing significant came up for "Donald Trump says I'm sorry", okay, maybe that was too broad, so I dialed it in to "video evidence of Donald Trump saying the words 'I'm sorry'", again nothing.


    Now, he's on video "apologizing" about that tape of him talking about grabbing women by the pussy, wherein he says the words "I regret", "I apologize", and "I was wrong", then seconds later he turns the discussion around into a tirade about the Clintons and what they've done. So that's deflection and not a real apology, but I'm pretty sure he was really fucking sorry that tape surfaced.


    Anyway, this started out as a lark because he is a human being so of course he must've said I'm sorry at some point in his life, right? But now I'm getting kind of concerned.

    1. damon8r351


      Also, when people make jokes, sometimes they exaggerate.

    2. FawltyPowers


      He is a politician, politicians will only say "sorry" when their political lives depend on it.

    3. YORGOS_PB


      You should try composting

  10. Pontiac Aztek Trans Am crossover: https://www.cracked.com/article_27465_what-ungodly-creation-pontiac-aztec-trans-am.html, the car that says "My driver thinks reopening the economy is the real priority right now."

  11. 991/1000 FATES in Final Fantasy XIV. And no, I didn't sit and grind them out, I've just been playing the game for a year and a half.

  12. Why the fuck does it seem like everyone is playing Assassin's Creed IV now all of a sudden? Does everyone have so much crap in their game collection that they're 7 years behind the power curve?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. AJ_Radio


      Black Flag is a good game, and granted it's Ubisoft so obviously plenty of people play it and enjoy it for what it is.


      It's up there with 2 and Brotherhood as some of my favorite games in the franchise. Only the story portion of the game wasn't that good.


      Compared to Knack and Killzone: Shadowfall, Black Flag holds up pretty well.

    3. damon8r351


      Wait...say "potato" if you're not a bot.

    4. ihadalifeb4this


      Dads? Are you getting divorced?

  13. All novels, unless they're written in Braille or recorded as an audio file of some sort, are technically visual novels.

  14. New No Man's Sky update added bipedal mechs as a new exocraft: https://blog.us.playstation.com/2020/04/07/no-mans-sky-gets-massive-mechs-in-free-update/

    1. Folkenio


      It's awesome!!! But after reading about it, this was my train of thought


  15. Hey, you know what this forum needs a dozen more of? Threads with the exact same title all posted by the same person.

  16. Today the internet reminded me that Furbies have forward facing eyes, which is a key indicator that a creature is a predator.

  17. The approximate area of the 6 foot social distancing zone you're supposed to be maintaining, rounded to the nearest hundredth, is 113.10 ft square. This is the area based around a single point drawn on the ground, not the area minus the real estate actually occupied by the person, since I don't know how fat you are.


    To find that, you'd get a circumference around your widest point with a tape measure (shoulders, breasts, hopefully not your waistline), divide by 12, divide by pi, then divide by 2, and that's your radius in feet (remember this number). Then you take your radius, square it, then multiply it by pi to find the area you occupy while standing (remember this number also). Next, add your radius to 6 feet, then square the result, then multiply it by pi, then subtract your area to find the area that you're supposed to maintaining around you at all times, you nasty bastards.


    Also, none of this is in metric because fuck you.

  18. With the incipient return of Final Fantasy VII, I invite you to (re)watch this classic:

    (My wife and I both quote from this video regularly)

    1. damon8r351


      Also maybe don't watch this if you plan on whining about the 23 year old spoiler they toss in there at the end. I'm not your therapist.

    2. sephirothdude
  19. Gaming term of the Day: "murderhobo": A term used (originally pejoratively, but also occasionally affectionally) to describe the player characters in RPGs, both in video and tabletop games. It arises from the fact that most adventuring characters and parties are technically homeless vagrants, generally living on the road and sometimes in temporary accommodations, and the default solution to problems faced by the adventurer boils down to killing things until the problem is solved or treasure is acquired. In many traditional fantasy RPGs, killing things and taking their stuff is simply the order of the day.

  20. I was thinking about getting a pizza today, and thought that I hadn't ordered one from Papa Johns in ages. Then I remembered that day when sweaty John Schnatter warned about a coming "day of reckoning" that never seemed to arrive. Then I put two and two together and said "Oh God!"

    1. PostalDudeRus


      welp, day of reckoning it might be what happening in world right now with viruses and stuff

    2. damon8r351


      Yes, that was the joke.

  21. Did they ever explain in the TV show Archer how ISIS went from having over 50 agents in the first episode to only having Archer, Lana, and Ray as field agents just before they started with the Archer Vice dumbfuckery? I feel like I missed that explanation, or it doesn't exist.

    1. ExHaseo


      It's been a while since I've watched it, but I remember them talking about struggling to make money for a while and almost being shut down/bought out in a couple episodes. I dont think it's ever explicitly stated that they fired agents though.

    2. DaisyVilla102


      Maybe they couldn't afford all the agents after the support staff got their "gotdamn cost-of-living increase"!

  22. Speaking of dumbass conspiracy theories, here's something...well, it's certainly something



    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Cobby


      YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH YOUR FACE!!!!! JESUS CHRIST MAN!!! Why would you share this ... smh 

    3. Priere


      Hey! Most of my best friends are gay frogs, jeez.

    4. panikooooos
  23. Never take advice from a person whose ambition in life is to live in Florida.

    1. Rally-Vincent---


      Do you have ambitions to live in Florida? Just asking to see if you wanted to create a paradox.

  24. I haven't played Heavensward yet, much less Shadowbringers so I don't know the lore, and keep that in mind when I say this: What if it turns out the reason there are no female Hrothgar or male Viera is that Hrothgar and Viera are males and females respectively of the same species just with a wild sexual dimorphism? How gross would that be?

    1. GhostofCthulhu


      Chicks with dicks, dicks with clits........eeeeewwww lol

  25. Looks like I finally banished the white nationalist propaganda and conservative talk radio (whoops, tautology!) from my Youtube recommendations after the algorithm lost its rabbit-assed mind on me. And also all the Jimmy Fallon clips, which might in fact be worse.