DrBloodmoney

DrBloodmoney's Super Scientific Ranking of Games!

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I really like you idea , and I am curious to see how things line up by your awsomeness metrics. 

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AWESOME! Finally you're doing one of these dumb threads too. Considering the way you're writing stuff...I feel that the good Lord Agent 47 Johnny Sins from that banner will bless us all!

Bottom line: Can't wait for them reads!

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I love your method, and I fully support your endeavour! 😁

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On 25/04/2021 at 2:42 AM, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Anyways... no more foreplay!

 

 

but I am not ready

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1 hour ago, GonzoWARgasm said:

 

but I am not ready

 

Just lay back, strap in and think of England (or Aus) my friend, the Science train has left the station, and cannot be stopped!

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Posted (edited)

newtestsubjects.jpg

 

⚛️!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!⚛️

The next 10 Randomly selected games to be added to the ranking next shall be:

 

Arcade Archives: Moon Cresta

Castle Crashers

Dragon's Crown

Horizon: Zero Dawn

Joe Danger

Mafia II

Paint Park Plus

Q.U.B.E Directors Cut

Tetris

Until Dawn

 

 

 

 

Will any of these be able to compete with Transistor for the glorious 'Current Most Awesome' spot?

 

Will any compete with The Mysteries of Little Riddle for the slightly less glorious 'Current Least Awesome' spot?

 

Only the science can say!

 

 

🚨🚨SPECIAL NOTE🚨🚨

 

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll try to include them on the next list of test subjects! 🤓

 

The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank), and aren't already on the Rankings! ☺️

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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5 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll try to include them on the next list of test subjects! 1f913.png

 

The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank), and aren't already on the Rankings! 263a.png

Hello doctor, lately I feel the strange urge to see Cuphead, Lords of the Fallen and Sekiro. Is there a cure for that??

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1 minute ago, Copanele said:

Hello doctor, lately I feel the strange urge to see Cuphead, Lords of the Fallen and Sekiro. Is there a cure for that??

 

I have highlighted those 3 in the super-secret master list in the Vault of Scientific Mystery, for 'priority assignment'! 👍

 

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Fun thread, I'll keep an eye on this

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Posted (edited)

results.jpg

 

 📉🤓 NEW SCIENTIFIC RESULTS ARE IN! 🤓📈

 

Hello Chaps and Chapesses, as promised, here are the latest results of our great scientific endeavour!

 

 

La3723e.png

Arcade Archives: Moon Cresta

 

Summary:

Galaga before Galaga was GalagaMoon Cresta gets points for being first, but first isn't always best, and there is a reason that Galaga is the one everyone remembers. Docking those ships is way too much of a pain-in-the-ass to be fun, and the game is incredibly difficult if you miss a dock, rendering this a bit of a chore, and unlikely to engage for too long. Better in an arcade than in a home.

 

The Ranking:

Definitely a curiosity, but not one of the retro arcade games that will keep me coming back, especially since Galaga exists on Playstation as well, and perfected this rough formula. I'd still rather play this than Kung-Fu Rabbit though, so just above that is where it lands!

 

 

 

 

La33a89.png

Castle Crashers

 

Summary:

Being a part of that first big wave of console indies during the Xbox 'Summer of Arcade' days helped this fun little brawler gain a massive audience, and it has charm all the way to the bank. It's a super fun co-op time, but a little too long and a little too brutal for sharing with non-gaming types. Competitive Multiplayer is not fun at all, and a souring addition to an otherwise fun game.

 

The Ranking:

Makes it above similarly charming Plants vs Zombies due to it's co-op fun, but can't quite beat out Hitman Absolution - Agent 47 should be glad that game had it's excellent 'Contracts' multiplayer mode to save it's bacon here, because that was the only thing that kept it from Castle Crashers eating it's lunch!

 

 

 

L8b1e96.png

Dragon's Crown

 

Summary:

A fairly lavish art style can do a lot for a game, and it's working overtime to disguise some of the more boring elements of this better-than-average-but-not-quite-great fantasy brawler. Fun enough, but not quite variable or interesting enough to sustain itself for the length of its platinum journey. Gains some points for running well enough on vita, but then loses them almost immediately for the art-design on the Witch character, rendering this a little too pervvy to be seen playing out in public.

 

The Ranking:

Castle Crashers provides a 'ceiling' for this one - as that is a better brawler overall, but Dragon's Crown sits comfortable close - has enough going for it to be more fun than The Playroom, but Plants vs Zombies is still a little more awesome.

 

 

 

Lfad333.png

Horizon: Zero Dawn

 

Summary:

A fantastic example of open world gaming, with fun, engaging combat, good side quests that are plentiful, but not overwhelming or tedious, brilliant visuals, a great main story featuring a likeable and sympathetic protagonist, fun monster designs, and fantastic voice work. Proof that the 'Ubisoft' formula can be done - and improved upon - by non-Ubisoft studios without breaking it entirely, and also - proof that it works when done right!

 

The Ranking:

Good enough to compete with the top of the pack of the current list, Horizon's supreme polish (even in an open world) handily beats out Singularity's occasional jank in its more linear structure, and as great as Limbo is, it's shorter length and less repeatable gameplay submits to Horizon. Transistor manages to hold the top spot though - Horizon may be great, and it's story is long and winding and fun, but it cannot beat Supergiant's powerhouse on the combat, variability or music.

 

 

 

 

L3d0841.png

Joe Danger

 

Summary:

Long before Hello Games was crafting universes for No Man's Sky, they made this very fun Trials-like mobile game, that plays well, feels good, and can be surprisingly tricky at times (though not a patch on Trials in that regard)

 

The Ranking:

makes a decent showing, biking past the lower end of the ranking with ease, but the small nature of the game, and it's roots on mobile hurt it a little in terms of longevity, and there are quite a few games of this genre that do very similar stuff. Joe Danger is a good one, but doesn't have much beyond good craftsmanship to stand out in the pack, and The Playroom's innovations stop it in its tracks.

 

 

 

 

L0be085.png

Mafia II

 

Summary:

A lavish (at the time) attempt at a Godfather-esque story does a pretty good job in terms of the main story - characters are stereotypes ands archetypes exclusively, but that is forgivable and befitting the game, and the story, while having some faults, is well done overall. Unfortunately, so much time was spent getting that right, that the dev forgot they were making an open world game, and stuck it out the door before realising they had forgotten to include anything but the main story path. There is very little reason for this to be open world at all, and the side missions are scarce, and uninteresting.

 

The Ranking:

Better than Hitman Absolution overall, so that was the starting point, but in terms of fun, I'd still rather play IO's fun little tongue-in-cheek action-adventure game Mini Ninja's than Mafia II's dour, sometimes great, but often not, self-seriousness, or drive around it's pretty, but empty, world so, there it stays!

 

 

 

 

 

 

L07fc98.png

Paint Park Plus

 

Summary:

Not really a game per-se, more a testing ground to show off some of the neat features the Vita had to offer - but the inclusion of trophies renders it eligible for this ranking!

 

The Ranking:

As tech demo type stuff goes, The Playroom is an obvious comparison, but this falls way below that innovative and interesting product.

Starting at the very bottom of the list, I'd rather mess around with Paint Park Plus for an hour than play 5 minutes of The Mysteries of Little Riddle, so it avoids taking the 'Least Awesome Game' title, but only just, as even the decidedly dull Cel Damage can provide a bit more fun than this can for any stretch of time.

 

 

 

 

 

L94b35c.png

Q.U.B.E Director's Cut

 

Summary:

A fun, though never amazing, Portal-like 3D puzzler that is tricky, but not fiendish, in it's puzzles.  Has some good, well thought-out mechanics, though veers a a little too long to sustain them for its length.

 

The Ranking:

Beats out a good portion of the current list on smartness and cool-factor alone, but there are better 3D puzzlers out there, and this one can't quite compete with the bigger hitters here. Nestles comfortably between the thinking-man's chaos of Plant's vs Zombies, and the smashy-man's chaos of Castle Crashers, who's co-op saves it from being overtaken once again!

 

 

 

 

L40ae95.png

 

Tetris

 

Summary:

This is Tetris, and Tetris is inarguably awesome, though this particular version is awfully bare-bones.

Uses the 'modern' rule set, so T-Spinning galore, but really, in this day and age, putting out Tetris without any kind of additional hook just seems lazy.  As The Tetris Effect, Tetris Royale and Puyo Puyo Tetris have proven, the mechanics of Tetris might be evergreen, but nowadays, every man and his dog knows how to T-Spin and to hold a Long-Piece. You have to do more with your Tetriminos to stand out!

 

The Ranking:

A difficult one to rank, as Tetris as a fundamental game is so good, but I have to view this one in terms of what the game does with Tetris as well, and the answer here is: Nothing.

The base mechanics take it up the list to a point, but The Playroom did too many innovative things to allow such a lacklustre and uninspired version - even of a classic - to make it past it on nostalgia alone.

 

 

 

 

L172c11.png

 

Until Dawn

 

Summary:

Supermassive did a great job capturing the inherent ridiculousness and fun of Teen Horror-lite romps, and the cast do a lot to help sell this a an A-Game of a B-Movie, rather than the other way around!

Quite a lot of variety to the branching story paths, some fun, gory kills, a cast of satisfyingly douchy characters, and a silly and fun plot overall.

Extra awesome-points for the line "YOU JUST GOT MONKED!" 😂

 

The Ranking:

Starting point is, of course, Supermassive's other game on the current list - Hidden Agenda - and Until Dawn is lightyears better than that one, even factoring in Hidden Agenda's admirable, if a little flawed party-co-op experience. Imagine a game with Perter Stormare being so dull? How did they do that??

Beats out Dragon's Crown for sure, and manages to best Q.U.B.E. Director's Cut, but this is another game that I can't, in good conscience, say is more fun or awesome than Castle Crashers, and so is blocked just below it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So there we have it folks!

Science is a harsh mistress, and these latest subjects make some admirable showings, but Transistor remains at the glorious top of the list, and The Mysteries of Little Riddle remains languishing at the turdly bottom!

 

What games will be coming along next time to challenge for the crown... or the wooden spoon?

 

That's up to randomness, me.... and YOU!

 

Remember:

 

 

 

 

1f6a8.png1f6a8.pngSPECIAL NOTE1f6a8.png1f6a8.png

 

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll mark them for 'Priority Ranking'! 1f913.png

 

The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank)....

 and aren't already on the Rankings! 263a.png

 

 

 

 

See y'all on the scientific flip-side! ☮️

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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Your comments on Mafia II are interesting, I actually really liked Mafia II and its empty open world. Essentially linear but with a beautiful city to drive through between missions. I still enjoyed Mafia III but asides its many bugs and glitches at launch its main complaint across the board is its repetitive nature which isn't surprising because they dropped in a lot of content which was more akin to other open world games.

 

I enjoy the traditional open world games sure but I'm finding these days they are far too busy and repetitive. Spider-Man for instance whilst a wonderful game became a massive slog of the same activities that just didn't add anything to it in my opinion.

 

A good read again, nice work. Looking forward to more

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Posted (edited)

38 minutes ago, Cleggworth said:

Your comments on Mafia II are interesting, I actually really liked Mafia II and its empty open world. Essentially linear but with a beautiful city to drive through between missions. I still enjoyed Mafia III but asides its many bugs and glitches at launch its main complaint across the board is its repetitive nature which isn't surprising because they dropped in a lot of content which was more akin to other open world games.

 

I enjoy the traditional open world games sure but I'm finding these days they are far too busy and repetitive. Spider-Man for instance whilst a wonderful game became a massive slog of the same activities that just didn't add anything to it in my opinion.

 

A good read again, nice work. Looking forward to more

 

Oh, don't get me wrong - I liked Mafia II a fair bit (it is, after all, the 11th most awesome game so far 😂) - and let's face it, these are all games I put in the time to S-Rank, so, aside from a few outlying anomalies, any game of Mafia's length that even falls within the 'eligible to rank' category was at least considered by me to be worthy of my time - but I must admit, I did feel a bit let down that a city as beautifully detailed as the one they made gave me so little real reason to explore it.

 

It was actually a game that probably could have sustained many more story DLCs that the two it got - I could easily see 3 or 4 more of similar length but with different characters being good fun, and if they all took place in different primary areas of the big city, could have each felt fresh - though back in that era, people probably would have baulked at the idea of too long a dlc tail on a game!

 

I haven't actually played Mafia 3 - it appealed to me at the time, so I can't quite think why, I guess just another in a long list of games I wanted to play but just never quite got around to! They do rather seem to pile up over the years!

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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5 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

1f6a8.png1f6a8.pngSPECIAL NOTE1f6a8.png1f6a8.png

 

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll mark them for 'Priority Ranking'! 1f913.png

 

 

Hitman: Blood Money 😁

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5 minutes ago, dalailama1989 said:

 

Hitman: Blood Money 1f601.png

 

I knew someone would do it! 😂

 

Marked as Priority 👍

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Great idea! Looking forward to reading this in my coffee breaks :) 

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2 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Oh, don't get me wrong - I liked Mafia II a fair bit (it is, after all, the 11th most awesome game so far 1f602.png) - and let's face it, these are all games I put in the time to S-Rank, so, aside from a few outlying anomalies, any game of Mafia's length that even falls within the 'eligible to rank' category was at least considered by me to be worthy of my time - but I must admit, I did feel a bit let down that a city as beautifully detailed as the one they made gave me so little real reason to explore it.

 

It was actually a game that probably could have sustained many more story DLCs that the two it got - I could easily see 3 or 4 more of similar length but with different characters being good fun, and if they all took place in different primary areas of the big city, could have each felt fresh - though back in that era, people probably would have baulked at the idea of too long a dlc tail on a game!

 

I haven't actually played Mafia 3 - it appealed to me at the time, so I can't quite think why, I guess just another in a long list of games I wanted to play but just never quite got around to! They do rather seem to pile up over the years!

 

Mafia II DLC had so much potential but in the end it was just a goddamn travesty. Most half arsed piece of crap I've ever played. I've never played a game that has had a bigger gulf in quality between its base game and DLC, I want to play the remaster as I loved it so much but that DLC, my god.... 🤮

 

Mafia III is definitely worth a play, it has that same authentic feel of the earlier games, the soundtrack in particular is perfect. The documentary style storytelling also worked really well in my opinion. Doesnt quite reach the heights of Mafia I and II though because the gameplay can get quite repetitive. 

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Am I being blind? Where are your reviews for the first ten? Also, I think your scienceometer might be miscalibrated. H:ZD was beautiful but profoundly derivative and unoriginal in its gameplay. When something looks that good, and is superficially that original, but is just another UBIsoft sandbox beneath the surface, science demands that its awesomenessnessability is reduced accordingly! 

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Posted (edited)

9 minutes ago, JoesusHCrust said:

Am I being blind? Where are your reviews for the first ten? Also, I think your scienceometer might be miscalibrated. H:ZD was beautiful but profoundly derivative and unoriginal in its gameplay. When something looks that good, and is superficially that original, but is just another UBIsoft sandbox beneath the surface, science demands that its awesomenessnessability is reduced accordingly! 

 

You're not blind - I didn't put up reviews for the first ten - I had to have some kind of baseline, so I deliberately picked 10 diverse games where I could be sure that I was happy with the ranking of those specific 10 -  where none were too close to each other, and none were serious contenders for the top (or bottom) spots overall - to work from.

 

Granted, it means that there aren't any specific reviews for them, but you can very easily tell what I think of them based on their use as comparisons in the first couple of sets of reviews 😉

 

Also - what can I say - I like open-world sandbox games done well - and Horizon is an open world sandbox game done very well!

As I said in the Moon Cresta review (referencing Galaga) - you get points for originality, for sure, but it's not the be-all and end-all.

If someone else comes in after you and does it better, they might be derivative, but they are still better :dunno:

 

Horizon might not have many things that are truly original, but I'm hard pressed to think of any area it did less than well.

 

Who knows where the science will take us though?

 

Perhaps it will end up being the 29th least awesome game of them all? 😂

 

You never know 😁

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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It's too bad The Last of Us 2 isn't at S rank, I would like to see you're ranking on that.

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Posted (edited)

newtestsubjects.jpg

 

⚛️!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!⚛️

 

 

The 10 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be added to the ranking next shall be:

 

 

Cuphead
Enigmatis: The Ghosts of Maple Creek
Freedom Wars
Arcade Game Series: Dig Dug

Lords of the Fallen
Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom
Pac-Man Championship Edition DX
Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
The Order: 1886
Hitman: Blood Money

 

 

Subjects in RED marked for ❎PRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT

[Care of @Copanele / @dalailama1989]

 

 

 

Will Transistor survive another round as the glorious 'Current Most Awesome' game?

Can anything sink lower than The Mysteries of Little Riddle?

 

Can my mind take any more of this nostalgia?

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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11 minutes ago, Grotz99 said:

It's too bad The Last of Us 2 isn't at S rank, I would like to see you're ranking on that.

 

I'll tell you right now - even if it was an S-Rank, (and it will be at some point), I'd still  be putting that one off for a while - I don't want to see this thread turn into the kind of dumpster fire that all it's threads seem to 😂

 

Trust me - there's a reason I've not selected Life is Strange 2 for ranking yet either... 😂

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5 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

I'll tell you right now - even if it was an S-Rank, (and it will be at some point), I'd still  be putting that one off for a while - I don't want to see this thread turn into the kind of dumpster fire that all it's threads seem to 1f602.png

 

Trust me - there's a reason I've not selected Life is Strange 2 for ranking yet either... 1f602.png

That is true unfortunately...maybe the first one? Happy to see Transistor holding the crown currently and seeing how Horizon ZD didn't dethrone it, I'm curious to see what will in your eyes.

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