DrBloodmoney's Super Scientific Ranking of Games!

[DrBloodmoney]

13 hours ago, Grotz99 said:

That is true unfortunately...maybe the first one? Happy to see Transistor holding the crown currently and seeing how Horizon ZD didn't dethrone it, I'm curious to see what will in your eyes.

 

I will mark the The Last of Us for Priority Assessment ?

[pinkrobot_pb]

Trying to rank all these wildly different games in one list. You are a brave man.

[DrBloodmoney]

22 minutes ago, pinkrobot_pb said:

Trying to rank all these wildly different games in one list. You are a brave man.

 

It takes a discerning eye to find the line between brave and foolhardy - and I'm definitely blurring that line with this thread, I think ?

 

 

Of course, not everyone will agree with the science - and I freely admit, it is a strange kind of task comparing Moon Cresta with Hitman Absolution, or Transistor with The Playroom, but hopefully my little reasoning write-ups will stave off any of the more pointed attacks ?

 

 

In the end, I was originally going to try and do it with like 20 different points categories - you know, graphics/ art style / originality / replayability etc, and use excel to calculate results, but I realised after a while - any time you do that, you always end up in those situations where you are going:

 

"Wait, on paper, this says this game is better than this one, but that can't be right!"

 

because there are intangible 'X-factors' that can't be quantified by the sum of individual components or categories.

 

So really, the only way to go about this, I think, is to do what I'm doing - checking each game against each other game and asking "Is it more awesome?" ?

Edited April 29, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Slava]

16 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

I'll tell you right now - even if it was an S-Rank, (and it will be at some point), I'd still  be putting that one off for a while - I don't want to see this thread turn into the kind of dumpster fire that all it's threads seem to 

 

Trust me - there's a reason I've not selected Life is Strange 2 for ranking yet either... 

 

Idk man, I think if the thread doesn't have TLOU in the title, you are fine. It's what mainly attracts people. From what I've seen, the checklist section of the forums has always been chill. BTW, there actually was a LIS2 review in one of the neighboring checklist threads recently, and it went fine. Of course, the games are not being ranked there, but still.

 

Interested to see where Pac-Man CE DX ranks on your list. I like the original Pac-Man (well, not the actual arcade game, because I've never played it, but the NES and mobile ports) and I already claimed Championship Edition 2 when it was free last year ?. Planning to grab the first one as well while I still can. Heard both were good. 

 

Can I request the OG Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man for the next batch? ? I see you S-ranked those too. Would be interesting to see how CE compares to them.

Edited April 29, 2021 by Alderriz

[DrBloodmoney]

7 minutes ago, Alderriz said:

Can I request the OG Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man for the next batch? I see you S-ranked those too. Would be interesting to see how CE compares to them.

 

Both flagged on the master list for Priority Assignment ?

[DrBloodmoney]

 

 ?? NEW SCIENTIFIC RESULTS ARE IN! ??

 

Hello Science-Fellows and Science-Fellowesses, as promised (and in some cases requested), here are the latest results of our great scientific endeavour!

 

 

 

Cuphead

 

Summary: 

Astonishing visuals and incredible art design on show in this boss-heavy run and gun (and occasionally platform) game, with a small but decent variety of weapons and powers, if occasionally repetitive mechanics.

A good challenge in single player, though borderline broken in terms of co-op difficulty, sadly negating any possibility of appealing to non-gaming family/ friends who might otherwise be charmed by the aesthetics.

 

The Ranking:

The visuals and charm are so wildly unique and phenomenally successful with this one as to carry it a very long way up the list, edging out Limbo, which nails its own art-style just as hard, but isn't quite as unique, but the sometimes repetetive boss fight designs, and very limited number of run-&-gun levels that fill out the actual game result in a thinness overall, and stop it from managing to edge out the current two games above that.

 

 

 

 

Enigmatis: The Ghosts of Maple Creek

 

Summary: 

One of the better of Artifex Mundi's hefty stable of photo-hunt / puzzle games, with a good breadth and variety of puzzles, above average visuals and a story that is on the better end of their milure.

 

The Ranking:

Let's face it, Artifex Mundi games aren't getting far on their writing or voice acting, which are hokey at best and amateurish at worst, but that's not what anyone is here for - it's the relaxed pace, the simple but engaging puzzles, and some good old-fashioned picture hunting - and this one has a good variety of all three.

Starting point is Eventide: Slavic Fable, and this one is markedly better, and can slip by some of the bigger, but weaker games on the list, but the limited nature of these games cannot possibly hold up against something like Until Dawn. This one I enjoyed playing more than Adventure of Mana, but I think I'd still replay some Need for Speed: Rivals before redoing it, so there it stays!

 

 

 

Freedom Wars

 

Summary: 

The God Eater-esque prison escaping, monster-taming Action JRPG has a cynical and deadpan story which is good fun and silly, but is spread thin across a game this long. The visuals are nice on vita, and the game controls pretty well, though the co-op heavy mission-based combat is a tough sell on vita outside of Japan, where players are more limited. 

 

The Ranking:

Gains point for being a 'real', meaty game on an underserved platform, but loses some for limiting it's rare materials required in post-game grinding to so few missions each, that any platinum journey will require repetition of the same missions ad-nauseum.

Story is good, but the singleplayer far too long, and trips over itself overcomplicating every little thing in the game, to the point it feels like menues on top of menues on top of menues.

Makes it up past the barebones offering of Tetris, and its good side takes it past The Playroom, but given the choice, I'd replay Dragon's Crown on my vita before this one, so it can't beat that game on the list.

 

 

 

Arcade Game Series: Dig Dug

 

Summary: 

A pretty good version of a good, classic arcade game is pretty awesome, and Dig Dug is inarguably a damned fine classic arcade game!

 

Not much was done to these 'Arcade Game Series' versions, some limited 'save states' etc, but the visuals seem basically intact, which is all fine, but makes for a bare-bones package.

 

The Ranking:

Dig Dug is a classic for a reason, as was Tetris, so that's the start point.
Bare bones package like Tetris was, but in this case, preservationism is the marketed intent. Unlike Tetris, Dig Dug hasn't been done to death in better, more interesting ways elsewhere.

For those reasons, it vaults (or digs, I guess!) past Tetris, and makes it a few steps further past decent, but flawed games like Freedom Wars and Dragon's Crown, but the uninspired nature of the package bogs it down a little, and it can't quite make it past Q.U.B.E Director's Cut.

 

 

 

 

Lords of the Fallen

 

Summary: 

One of, if not the, first of the wave of non-FROM Software Souls-Like games, this proved there was a market for souls-esque games beyond FROM, but proved little else.

Derivative in the bad way - a palio imitation with little in the way of flash or flair, and lacking any deviation from the standard gothic setting beyond some pagan-esque thematic notions.

 Also, critically, lacks the crucial part of any Souls-like game: Challenge.

Any difficulty is from poor mechanics, rather than well crafted ones, and a lack of interesting secrets hurts the potential for exploration.

 

 

The Ranking:

There will definitely be some souls-like games featured near the top of the list by the time we are done, but this won't be one of them.
The few parts of FROM games it borrowed competently carry it partway up the list, past some of the whiff's in other, easier genres to nail, but ultimately, Dragon's Crown's deliberate hack-n-slash combat beats out Lords of the Fallen's accidental hack-n-slash combat.

 

 

 

 

 

Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom

 

Summary: 

A surprisingly nice looking, well made, and occasionally quite challenging puzzle-platfroming Metroidvania-lite. Breathes a lively and colourful breath of fresh air from an old franchise, and genuinely surprised me in both its length and its fun!

 

The Ranking:

Trying not to let expectations vs reality come into this one too much, but the surprising charm of this game really did make me sit up and take notice of a franchise I never gave much consideration to growing up.

Storms up past a good chunk of the list, even beating out relative heavy hitters like Castle Crashers and Until Dawn, and even vaults a Hitman game in Absolution (the least good Hitman game, but still!) and comes to rest in a comfortably high spot beneath Mafia II.

 

 

 

 

 

Pac Man Championship Edition DX

 

Summary: 

If someone asked me to improve on the fundamental game of Pac Man, without losing any of the things that made (and make) it great, I would be at a loss for the most part. 
It would be like saying "Improve on this design of a fork". 
I mean, a fork is a fork, right?

And Pac Man is Pac Man?
Not so, apparently!

Namco Bandai somehow manages to make smart, clever, fun, and crucially - awesome - improvements and additions to virtually every thing in the Pac Man formula, but without ever destroying any of the core fundamentals that made that game the powerhouse it was, is, and remains!

Turns Pac Man from a game where you feel powerless, to a game in which you are a PAC shaped GOD - but always still feels like Pac Man. 
A remarkable achievement!

 

The Ranking:

Storms up the charts, gobbling up all the previous retro and retro-esque games like a long row of blue ghosts, and almost makes it to the top!
Only Horizon Zero Dawn's incredible all-round polish and technical prowess manage to stop Pac Man in his tracks!

 

 

 

 

 

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

 

Summary: 

Speaking of Souls-likes... now this is more like it!
FROM's most unusual, most thematically cohesive, and certainly most challenging of their Souls & Souls-like offferings, Sekiro proves once again that the Souls formula can be tweeked and twisted to suit virtually any setting well, and its technical, often punishing combat is not the turn-off that some marketing deptartments seem to think it it, but infact, can be its biggest draw.

Beautiful, punishing, fascinating, mysterious, a ton of fun and smart as a whip.

 

 

The Ranking:

Let's not beat about the bush with discussions of the majority of the current list, because not even Horizon: Zero Dawn can stand up to its awesome prowess!

The only real question at this point is, does Sekrio have what it takes to beat the current frontrunner - Transistor?

 

Well, it took some real thought, and it is a toss up in many areas, but in the end, it falls short at that final hurdle, primarily on one aspect:
Sekiro's greatest strength, is also its greatest weakness.

The thing that makes it markedly harder than other Souls games from FROM, is that Sekiro lacks the multitude of build types and weapon combinations that the others revel in.

Where other Souls games encorage experimentation and different builds over multiple playthroughs, Sekiro is more prescriptive.
You can only win by playing one way - the right way.

You must master the combat the way the dev wants you to, and succeed, or fail to, and be forever stuck.

That makes for a great challenge, but limits replayability greatly, and in the face of Transistor's millions of cominations and breathtaking scope for experimentation, is falls slightly behind on awesome points.

 

Definetely the closest shave Transistor has had so far though, and won't be the last one it faces by a long shot!

 

 

 

 

The Order: 1886

 

Summary: 

A gorgeous game on a technical, graphical level, though a little hampered by a slightly bland take on 'steampunk-lite', the game hold up to a single playthrough of it's extremely short campaign, but even clocking in at a meagre few hours, it still doesn't really leave you wanting much more.

Decent gun combat, when you manage to find some (there isn't much), but pretty poor in terms of the overall offering, and very light on actual gameplay particularly for a game lacking meaningful story or interesting characters.

 

The Ranking:

Limps past sub-par Supermassive offering Hidden Agenda (another game with great visuals, and not much else,) but fails to make any serious dent in the list, and lacking even the thrills required to beat out middling pixel-horror offering Claire.

 

 

 

 

 

Hitman: Blood Money

 

Summary: 

Agent 47's first truely magnificent outing on console did absolutely remarkable things in its day - both for gaming, and in my life specifically!
This was a game I put countless hours into back on PS2, working out every little trick and way to finess my hits.

My love for this game was absolute, and it retains a special place in my heart...
...but there is no room for the affairs of the heart in the world of science!

Time has not been the kindest to it, and most of the things it did that were remarkable at the time, are commonplace now.

It has also been thoroughly usurped by the incredible offering from IOI in the latest Hitman games.

 

The Ranking:

The things Hitman: Blood Money did for games of the era cannot be overstated, and that, and rampant nostalgia can carry it well into the upper echelons of the list, but playing now, there are significant flaws by modern standards.
It controls pretty poorly, has a very silly weapons progression system, and the AI is at times unpredictable in a bizarre way, or overly predictable in a silly one. 

Also, for all the perceived versatility, there are really very few ways to actually achieve a ‘silent assassin’ rating in most maps, and so the player tends to be more often punished for out-of-the-box thinking than rewarded - and that is a cardinal sin in a Hitman game nowadays.

 

Makes it past similarly janky-but-great Alpha Protocol, but in 2020, cannot be placed higher than less ambitious, but more technically competent and widely variable PS3 classics like Darksiders or Singularity.

 

I can guarantee though- this won't be the last we see of Agent 47’s barcoded napper - that much is certain!

 

 

 

 

 

 

So there we have it folks!

 

Thanks to @Copanele & @dalailama1989 for putting in requests - hope my reviews are acceptable, or at least sufficiently explanatory if not!

 

Science remains a harsh mistress, and these latest subjects make some admirable showings and certainly made the top dog sweat, but Transistor is the little indie game that could, and remains at the glorious top of the list for another round!

The Mysteries of Little Riddle remains a warm slice of nothing, still languishing at the ungodly bottom!

 

What games will be coming along next time to challenge for the gold medal... or the turd-on-a-stick?

 

That's up to randomness, me.... and YOU!

 

Remember:

 

 

 

 

SPECIAL NOTE

 

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll mark them for 'Priority Ranking'! 

 

The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank)....

 and aren't already on the Rankings! 

 

 

 

 

Catch y'all later my Scientific Brothers and Sisters! ☮️

Edited April 30, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Copanele]

Pleased with the scientific report this week, looks very accurate! 

 

Also this Transistor entry is quite the solid entry I see, maybe I should give it a go also! Since none of the games seems to overthrow it from that perched position YET! 

[DrBloodmoney]

1 hour ago, Copanele said:

Pleased with the scientific report this week, looks very accurate! 

 

Also this Transistor entry is quite the solid entry I see, maybe I should give it a go also! Since none of the games seems to overthrow it from that perched position YET! 

 

You absolutely should, my friend - Transistor is a remarkable game - it's not just squatting at the top due to the still fairly small size of the list!

 

I noticed that you don't have any of the three Supergiant games on your list (Bastion, Transistor & Pyre) - all three are great, though I think Transistor takes the crown among them!

Looking at your list (and your awesome checklist - kudos BTW!) you and I seem to have quite a lot of cross-over in our gaming tastes, and, as Braid/ Cuphead/ Jotun etc. show, you are more than down for a good Indie game, so I absolutely recommend diving into Supergiant's offerings post-haste!

 

TBH - if you want to have a quick taste of Supergiant, Bastion can be played in a browser for free - so great for a taster before diving in - though I'd be genuinely surprised if that taste didn't leave you hungry for more ?

 

 

EDIT - actually this ? last part may not be true anymore - just tried a link, and it 404'd...

 

still - worth picking up on Playstation regardless!

 

Edited April 30, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Copanele]

30 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

You absolutely should, my friend - Transistor is a remarkable game - it's not just squatting at the top due to the still fairly small size of the list!

 

I noticed that you don't have any of the three Supergiant games on your list (Bastion, Transistor & Pyre) - all three are great, though I think Transistor takes the crown among them!

Looking at your list (and your awesome checklist - kudos BTW!) you and I seem to have quite a lot of cross-over in our gaming tastes, and, as Braid/ Cuphead/ Jotun etc. show, you are more than down for a good Indie game, so I absolutely recommend diving into Supergiant's offerings post-haste!

 

TBH - if you want to have a quick taste of Supergiant, Bastion can be played in a browser for free - so great for a taster before diving in - though I'd be genuinely surprised if that taste didn't leave you hungry for more 

 

 

EDIT - actually this  last part may not be true anymore - just tried a link, and it 404'd...

 

still - worth picking up on Playstation regardless!

 

Thanks for the recommendation! Very well i will have a look. If it hits just as good I am definitely getting those. 

 

I played only one SuperGiant game at someone's house,Hades. Suffice to say I was VERY impressed

[DrBloodmoney]

Just now, Copanele said:

Thanks for the recommendation! Very well i will have a look. If it hits just as good I am definitely getting those. 

 

I played only one SuperGiant game at someone's house,Hades. Suffice to say I was VERY impressed

 

Oh man - I am craving Hades on Playstation like a fat kid craves cookies!

 

It looks so damned good - I'm playing Curse of the Dead Gods at the moment, (which is constantly compared to Hades, and generally considered a Hades-lite), and I'm loving it, so I can only imagine the hold Hades will manage to get on me!

[DrBloodmoney]

 

⚛️!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!⚛️

 

 

The next 10 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be:

 

 

Assassin's Creed II
Dark Souls
Driver: San Francisco
Arcade Game Series: Pac-Man

Arcade Game Series: Ms. Pac-Man
Jak and Daxter
Jak II
SAW
The Last of Us
Trine

 

 

Subjects in RED marked for ❎PRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT❎

[Care of @Alderriz / @Grotz99]

 

 

 

Can Transistor really survive yet another round as the 'Current Most Awesome' game?

Can anything manage to fall flatter than The Mysteries of Little Riddle?

 

Is the world ready for what I know I'm going to have to say about Jak II....

 

Let's find out!

Edited April 30, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Together_Comic]

6 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

Is the world ready for what I know I'm going to have to say about Jak II....

 

Let's find out!

 

Hypothesis: Jak II will rank around 23.

 

For the record, this has been a fun read.  I'd love to hear what you think of Bioshock.

[DrBloodmoney]

10 minutes ago, Together_Comic said:

 

For the record, this has been a fun read.  I'd love to hear what you think of Bioshock.

Thank you very much mate ☺️

 

I’ll flag Bioshock for priority assessment, care of your good self! ? 

[DrBloodmoney]

 

 ?? NEW SCIENTIFIC RESULTS ARE IN! ??

 

Hello Science-Dudes and Science-Dudesses, as promised (and in some cases requested), here are the latest results of our great scientific endeavour - featuring the first (though doubtless not last) genuinely controversial ranking...?

 

 

 

Assassin's Creed II

 

Summary: 

The game that codified and cemented the 'Ubisoft Formula' for open world games, Assassin's Creed II sanded down the many rough parts of the interesting but fundamentally flawed original game, making the sequel much more approachable. 
A more likable protagonist in Ezio's Nathan Drake-like flippant, happy-go-lucky, 'smile, joke and stab'-iness, a vastly improved free-running and climbing system, a more robust, if significantly easier mission structure and a fuck-ton of side-missions, towers, camps and all the other aspects that would come to define Ubisoft Open-World Game for decades to come.

Set the precedent that would carry the series for 7 more main entries, only finally being significantly altered by Origins 12 years later.

This is far from the best of the 'Old' Style AC games, as the formula would be honed later, but it was not the worst and, for essentially the first true entry, that is an impressive achievement.

 

The Ranking:

As a PS3 open world game, starting point on the current list is Mafia II from similar time period. The breadth of the side missions and plentiful stuff to do, coupled with the slightly less detailed, but overall more interesting setting, catapult it above that game.
Assassin's Creed II has aged better than PS2 classic Hitman: Blood Money, so slips past that and above the early PS3 classic Darksiders, but it can't quite beat out Singularity on fun.
Ezio's hidden blade is no match for its time-bending sniper rifle apparently!

 

 

 

 

 

Dark Souls

 

Summary: 

Demon's Souls may have been the game to prove King's Field's mechanics could be smoothed out and crafted into something with broader appeal than the tiny, cult-crazy following that series had, but it was Dark Souls that picked up that ball and ran with it - turning a curious classic into a powerhouse franchise and cementing its place in history.

Not since Metroid and Castlevania, or Rogue before them, has a single game managed to have an entire new genre created in its wake, and be so intrinsically tied to said genre that it is named after the game itself - but we all know what 'Souls-like' means now, and this game did that.

Incredible art design more than compensates for an occasional lack of graphical fidelity, and the  deliberate, animation-priority combat, huge variety of builds, unusual co-op and competetive multiplayer system, incredibly detailed and well written (but never spoonfed) lore, endlessly cyclical gameplay loop and often brutal challange (particularly in comparison to other widely popular games) make for a game that is incredibly morish, compulsively repeatable, varied, beautiful, trecherous, mysterious and brilliant.

 

The Ranking:

Two Souls-Likes on the list so far, but comparing this to Lord's of the Fallen would be like comparing a full English breakfast to throwing up in England, and so Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice is the only true comparison. 

Dark Souls may look worse technically, but its scope and variety of builds takes it over the top of Sekiro's more precise, but ultimately less varied combat and less repeatable gameplay, sparking a stand-off with current pack leader, Transistor...

 

Well, it took 3 rounds, but finally, Red and her Transistor Sword are bested!

 

It's worth noting just how impressive it is that a game from a small studio like Supergiant put up such a fight against games from much bigger, richer, more populous studios, but in the end the bleak, oppresive, terrifying world of Dark Souls is just so varied and vast in comparison to Cloudbank.

Unlike in the case of Sekiro, the variety of builds and weapory on show in Dark Souls can compete with Transistor's incredible variety of builds, and Dark Souls is a longer, more varied and more mysterious game overall, and slips by it, to become our new  'Most Awesome Game'!

 

?Praise the Sun!?

 

 

 

Driver: San Francisco

 

Summary: 

A surprisingly awesome revival of the Driver franchise, adding a bizarre, but cool and well implimented, consciousness hot-swapping mechanic.
Allowing Tanner to embody any driver in the city on a whim, as a result of the whole game being naratively part of some kind of coma-induced fugue state Tanner is experiencing from a hospital bed, is a crazy concept, but is a ton of fun, and all fits in an appropriately exploitation-movie genre narrative that its well polished cut-scenes capture really well.
A modest selection of Mutliplayer game modes are nothing much to write home about, but are good fun, and round out the package nicely.

 

Genuinely surprising that this didn't spark a revival of Driver, and greenlight at least a few more games in the franchise.

 

The Ranking:

The only other driving game on the list so far is Need for Speed: Rivals, but Driver: San Fransico is in another stratosphere in terms of fun. Even without the psychic superpowers and telekenetic abilities, its driving is dynamic and fun in a way NFS: Rivals can only dream of, and with them, it really is no contest at all.
 
Driver falls in a similar category of "Surprisingly competent and Awesome PS3 Fare" and so was compared to another occupant of that category - Dead Space Extraction. 
Found Driver to be more awesome than that game and bests the next game above it - Alpha Protocol, but doesn't have the chops to surpass Hitman: Blood Money, and comes to a tyre-squealling stop.

 

 

 

 

Arcade Game Series: Pac Man

 

Summary: 

A titan of video games, Pac Man is one of the most recognisable video game characters of all time, edged out only by maybe Mario and, on a good day, Sonic. 
Few games have ever had the broad cross-generational and cross-cultural appeal that Pac Man had, and even fewer get a song written about them that is legit good!

 

The game itself is evergreen - simple, addictive, tricky - though not so immediately brutal as some other classic arcade games and allowing the novice to at least get their feet wet before it gobbles them up (along with all their quarters!) 
Crucially, it is also incredibly good fun.

 

The Ranking:

Pac Man is awesome - no one can question that - but like other classic games, this one has to be viewed in the context of the package offered, and again these Arcade Game Series Packages are pretty minimalistic. They offer some limited save-state functionality, but really, they are what they are, and nothing more.

Starting point is, of course, similar Arcade Game Series entry Dig Dug. 
Pac Man is, overall, a simpler, but better game than Dig Dug. (No shade on Dig Dug - I'm a big fan, but c'mon. This is Pac Man!) It beats out that game on merit. 

I feel there is an upper ceiling with this one too, as the tweeks and additions made to the basic Pac Man formula in Pac Man Championship Edition DX are all great, and guarantee that this version of Pac Man cannot beat it, so it falls somewhere in between. 
All the games currenly between those two are much larger, more modern games, so all I am left with is to ask, for each is "given the choice, would I replay this, or play some Pac Man instead?"
The first game where the answer is a yes, is Hitman Absolution, and so, this older version of Pac Man finds his home.

 

 

 

 

Arcade Game Series: Ms. Pac Man

 

Summary: 

"What's the difference between Pac Man and Ms. Pac Man?"
"Well, she has a bow on her head..."

 

That was a pretty funny line when Brian Doyle Murray delivered it in Wayne's World, but, of course, as any game aficionado knows, it isn't actually true.

 

There are quite a few differences between the two games: 

she only easts edible stuff...

her nemesis ghost is called Sue, not Clyde...

she has eyes...

 

...but most importantly - She has 4 times the game!

 

Ms Pac Man replaces Pac Man's 1 maze with 4 variations, most of which have multiple cross-screen tunnels (the most awesome part of the maze!) as opposed to Pac Man's single one.

This lends Ms Pac Man a variety and repeatability that outdoes her husband(?)'s game, but retains its dynamics exactly.

 

 

The Ranking:

Has to rank higher than Arcade Game Series: Pac Man, simply due to being virtually the exact same game, but with more to it, but is fighting the same opponents on the list with the same set of tools, so doesn't move any further than that -  just ahead of Pac Man. 
Which, let's face it, is probably how she would want it! ?

 

 

 

 

 

Jak and Daxter

 

Summary: 

Naughty Dog followed the hot-streak they had enjoyed with Crash Banidcoot (a hot streak I never persoanlly believed those games deserved... but that's besides the point!) with another character-platformer, this time cribbing more heavily from the N64 3D platformers, and ended up with a pretty great open-world(ish) collect-a-thon with decent platforming, a nice, Saturday-morning-Nikelodeon-cartoon visual style, and plenty of character. 

Came a year or so before the first entries of obvious peers Sly Cooper and Ratchet and Clank, and is a tad rougher around the edges as a result, but not markedly so.

 

The Ranking:

Most immediate comparison on the list as it stands is Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom, and ignoring the obvious technical differences between games of such differing ages, on merit, I think Jak and Daxter is the better game.
It's dynamic fun and varied tasks takes it up past Mini Ninjas, and past sweet, but short and less repeatable Rain, but it can't quite dethrone the classic, and distinctly awesome, Grim Fandango.

 

 

 

 

 

Jak II

 

Summary: 

So...
then came the sequel...

...and holy FUCKING hell, did Naughty Dog shit the bed on this one.

 

Where the other character action platformers (Sly / Crash / Ratchet and Clank / Spyro etc.) opted for iterative improvement of a consistent fundamental game design, Naughty Dog decided to throw out the design doc of the first game and completely switch gears. 

 

That is an admirable strategy - and a brave one...

...Unfortunately, here, it did not pay off.

 

In the intervening time, Grand Theft Auto III and Vice City had become the biggest games in the world, and had upended the industry. 
Naughty Dog, it seems, were not the creative powerhouse they are now, and decided to simply follow in GTA's wake, and try to ape it, to appalling results.

 

What started as a fun, colourful, happy-go-lucky platformer with a ton of charm, became a third rate GTA knock-off. All charm was replaced with cringe-inducing grundge-y, '90's 'tude' and dude-bro edginess, all of which has aged like a fine milk.

 

Gone was the fun platforming, replaced with mission-based checkpoint racing round a bland, sci-fi city with terrible controls and over-sensitive 'cops' chasing you all the time, or shooting heavy missions with little in the way of variety or fun, and made artificially difficult due to horrendously limited checkpointing.

 

Jak lost every single bit of charm or class that the first game had banked for him, and was turned into the videogame equivelent of that whiney, full-of-himself-but-actually-stupid douchebag you remember from school, who walked about with his skateboard under his arm, but never actually rode it, for fear of faceplanting and getting blood on his frosted tips or his wallet chain.

 

An unmitigated travesty of a game.

(and, yes, I am aware, an inexplicably well-reviewed one - which only rubs further salt in the wound!)

 

The Ranking:

Trying not to give in to personal hatred with this one (there is a part of me that wants to slam it on the bottom of the list and be done with it!)  but the science must not be clouded by personal sentiment, however strong it might be!

 

Jak II might be someone's game, it just is very much not mine - and it's difficult to sufficiently quantify the staggering gulf in enjoyment between the first game and this one.

 

Taken on merit, there are just enough moments of acceptable game between the torture to beat out less ambitious total stinkers like Cel Damage and The Mysteries of Little Riddle, and I'm even willing to concede that - personal distaste aside - it is ambitious enough in concept to take it past lower-end Artifex Mundi joint Eventide: Slavic Fable, but to even pretend that I wouldn't replay mediocre fare like Kung Fu Rabbit again 10 times over before ever touching Jak II again would be a bald-faced lie, so there it stays.

 

 

 

 

 

Saw

 

Summary: 

A pretty uninspired movie tie-in to the SAW franchise (one I enjoyed the first couple of movies of).

The game is technically competent in a workman-like way, but can be pretty clunky, lacks any coherent story, has too many 'victims' to really make any individual one scary, and lacks any real horror.

Pretty much suggests that the eponymous Jigsaw has somehow managed to build a house the size of the International Space Station, and has enough victims all being simultaneously tortured that there must be a medium-sized town somewhere in the vicinity that is now completely deserted! ?

 

Tries to get by on gore, but doesn't have the graphical chops or the art-design prowess to pull anything more than a wry chuckle from the player.

 

 

The Ranking:

Starting point is similarly going-for-scary-but-missing-the-mark Hidden Agenda, but has none of the innovations of that game, nor the technical competence.

Slides down past other games I would rather replay, until finally coming to rest just above Kung Fu Rabbit's supreme blandness.

 

 

 

 

The Last of Us

 

Summary: 

This sublime slice of action-adventure Zombie fare absolutely rewrote the book on exciting game intros, and it's prowess in story-telling quality, voice-work, tone, art design and tight gameplay is virtually unparalleled on PS3.

Naughtly Dog took the tools they had sharpened to the finest of edges on the Uncharted games, and applied them to a tale so bleak, dark and unrelenting as to make Nathan Drake curl up in the phoetal position and weep.

 

A phenomenally well structured, tense and exciting multiplayer that manages to reward smart thinking over level mastery or twitch controls rounds out a powerhouse of a package.

 

The Ranking:

It's probably becoming obvious now that variability and breadth of playstyles are strong factors in moving up towards the top of the list, but they are not the only way to shine - as this game proves.

 

Sometimes, Awesomeness is just the mothers milk of doing one thing, but being the goddamned best at it!

 

The story is the story - no branching paths, no dalogue choices, no selecting which missions to do - and while that might hurt games with lesser stories or gameplay, The Last of Us is all the better for them. This is like playing through a high quality HBO miniseries, (ironically, soon to be converted into a - hopefully - high quality HBO miniseries,) and as such the choices are Naughty Dog's and not the player's to make.

 

Beats out a similarly high quality, larger, more open, but less emotionally investing tale in Horizon Zero Dawn, even despite that game's incredible quality. 
Even surpasses Sekiro on the strength of its story (and that says a lot, as story tends to matter less than gameplay.) 

Ultimately, can't quite surpass Transistor, as while the story and characters are more engaging, Transistor's combination of good characters, incredible music and intricate, customisable and varied gameplay makes for a superior product overall, even factoring in The Last of Us's impressive multiplayer.

Only just, mind you, only just...

...but a win is still a win.

Just ask David.

 

 

 

 

Trine

 

Summary: 

A gorgeous looking, charming, smart and extremely well crafted physics-based 2.5D puzzle platformer, that works great in single player, or even better with up to 3-player couch co-op.

Rewards smart thinking, and looks the business - though does have a bit of lack of nuance to the combat.

Spawned 3 sequels (so far), at least 2 of which improve on the formula incrementally, but for a first entry, Trine is incredibly well put together and well thought out.

 

The Ranking:

Starting point is similarly 2D puzzle-platforming treat Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom, and Trine's visuals and faster, more franetic and ultimately more dynamic nature swings it past that game like a thief on a rope-dart. 
Hops on a conjured box and continues past a few more games, until unitmately meeting its match, and being forced to shied-stomp down to final position, ahead of Alpha Protocol's well-meaning glitches, but behind Driver San Fransico's crazy psychic-driving fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So there we have it folks!

 

Thanks to @Alderriz and @Grotz99 for putting in requests!

 

A new champion crowned in Dark Souls, sliding the crown from Red's weary head and hoisting it aloft!

 

The Mysteries of Little Riddle remains a warm slice of nothing, still languishing at the ungodly bottom!

 

Jak II somehow avoids the bottom spot, yet still got me angry even thinking about it! ?

 

 

 

What games will be coming along next time to challenge for the cake... or the cabbage?

 

That's up to randomness, me.... and YOU!

 

 

As always:

 

 

 

 

SPECIAL NOTE

 

If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll mark them for 'Priority Ranking'! 

 

The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank)....

 and aren't already on the Rankings! 

Edited May 1, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Copanele]

Cannot contain my Sun praising, Dark Souls took the top! Umbasa 2.0

 

Glad on the choice, saying that game is phenomenal is an understatement. Now I would like to push Dark Souls II and III for analysis. BUT if you want to build upon the suspense and rank them later, that would be fine also!

I know DS2 has a special place in your liver ❤️ that bear seek seek lest definitely did something magical and I can't wait to see the details. 

 

Anyway, praise the Zweihander! Doing the good science there! 

[DrBloodmoney]

11 hours ago, Copanele said:

Cannot contain my Sun praising, Dark Souls took the top! Umbasa 2.0

 

Glad on the choice, saying that game is phenomenal is an understatement. Now I would like to push Dark Souls II and III for analysis. BUT if you want to build upon the suspense and rank them later, that would be fine also!

I know DS2 has a special place in your liver that bear seek seek lest definitely did something magical and I can't wait to see the details. 

 

Anyway, praise the Zweihander! Doing the good science there! 

I shall flag both Dark Souls II & III for priority assessment care of yourself

 

I think you may be right, I might not do both immediately, or in the same round, as there is a lot to say for entries like those ones! ?

 

I’ll probably spread them over a couple different updates, just to keep the train going for the less well known games, but will get to them sooner than later  

 

And thank you, sir ?

Edited May 2, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[DrBloodmoney]

 

⚛️!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!⚛️

 

 

The next 10 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be:

 

 

A Plague Tale: Innocence
Arcade Archives: Renegade
BioShock
Chronovolt
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Gem Smashers
Hotline Miami
Kingmaker: Rise to the Throne
Lollipop Chainsaw
The Walking Dead

 

 

Subjects in RED marked for ❎PRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT❎

[Care of @Together_Comic]

 

 

 

Can newly crowned  'Current Most Awesome' game, Dark Souls, withstand all these games have to offer?

Is The Mysteries of Little Riddle ever going to shift from the 'Least Awesome Game' position it has been squatting on for round after round?

 

Let's find out!

[Soraking1991]

Oh wow! Looks like I must really take a shot at Transistor!!

 

I'd like to see how Detroit: Become Human fares against this list of awesomeness

[DrBloodmoney]

1 hour ago, Soraking1991 said:

Oh wow! Looks like I must really take a shot at Transistor!!

 

I'd like to see how Detroit: Become Human fares against this list of awesomeness

So far, the biggest takeaway from this grand endeavour seems to be spreading the good word about Transistor’s awesomeness...

 

... which makes it all worthwhile in my book! ? 
 

I’ll flag Detroit for priority assessment, post-haste! ??

Edited May 2, 2021 by DrBloodmoney

[Cleggworth]

1 hour ago, DrBloodmoney said:

So far, the biggest takeaway from this grand endeavour seems to be spreading the good word about Transistor’s awesomeness...

 

... which makes it all worthwhile in my book!  

 

Yeah reading this and seeing Transistor fighting off so much competition has made me move it off my maybe list to my to play list ?

[The_Kopite]

Really cool idea and intrigued as to where it'll end up once you are finished! I'd like to request a Final Fantasy, a Resident Evil and a Sonic game as priority for the next lot please! You have S Ranks for loads of them so choose 1 (or 1 from each franchise if you're feeling bold!) and I'm interested to see the results ?

1 hour ago, Cleggworth said:

 

Yeah reading this and seeing Transistor fighting off so much competition has made me move it off my maybe list to my to play list

I tried that a long while ago, and sadly got stuck I seem to recall and just couldn't get past that and therefore it got lost in the pile of other games, but it was definitely interesting from what I remember.

[SoliDeoGloriaIHS]

Finally!....Someone has come up with a completely scientific, completely objective method of ranking the games they have played based on the completely objective criteria of....Awesomeness!  The world has needed this!

[DrBloodmoney]

45 minutes ago, The_Kopite said:

Really cool idea and intrigued as to where it'll end up once you are finished! I'd like to request a Final Fantasy, a Resident Evil and a Sonic game as priority for the next lot please! You have S Ranks for loads of them so choose 1 (or 1 from each franchise if you're feeling bold!) and I'm interested to see the results 

 

Thank you, my scientific friend!

 

I have flagged Final Fantasy XIII & the Resident Evil 2 Remake for priority assessment - courtesy of you!

 

As far as Sonic goes, I don't have much (I've never been a huge Sonic kinda guy,) but I have flagged the only one I have - Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing - as well!

[The_Kopite]

3 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Thank you, my scientific friend!

 

I have flagged Final Fantasy XIII & the Resident Evil 2 Remake for priority assessment - courtesy of you!

 

As far as Sonic goes, I don't have much (I've never been a huge Sonic kinda guy,) but I have flagged the only one I have - Sonic & Sega All Stars Racing - as well!

Awesome! Looking forward to the results! I think that Resident Evil 2 Remake will place pretty highly! Great game ?

[starcrunch061]

Just like any good American, I believe the science when it says what I want, and saying that Dark Souls is the best? SCIENCE!

 

However, when science says what I don't want it to say, such as HZD being a top 5 game, it's just bullshit.

Edited May 2, 2021 by starcrunch061