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DrBloodmoney's Super Scientific Ranking of Games!


DrBloodmoney

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19 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

I also want to commend you both for not using what should, by all rights, be the silver bullet argument that completely punctures all my points: The fact that I am a big Assassin’s Creed fan!

 

I couldn't possibly do that haha ?..... I mean I'd have to take that silver bullet and shoot myself with it too, just out of fairness. I'm also a big Assassin's Creed fan, so it's not like I'm ignorant to those very obvious flaws either.

 

22 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

In the end, it’s purely a taste thing really, and there’s no accounting for that!

 

That's so true.. People would probably question why I like the output of Piranha Bytes a game company that always seems to put out very middle of the road video games. Yet I keep coming back for more. It would be like eating a rock cake, knowing full well it contained real rocks, yet eating it anyway. What is it with me and really vague metaphors these days haha. I'll just shut up, because you already said it best that it's purely a taste thing.

 

25 minutes ago, Slava said:

I imagine Kojima would make a movie that would feel like Escape from LA. Have you seen that one? A sequel to Escape from NY. This movie is the most ridiculous B-movie I've seen in my entire life. The plot copies from the movie's own predecessor. The characters are weird AF. The scenes are over the top. I'm still not sure how self-aware this movie was supposed to be. 

 

I have seen that one. I suspect it was quite self aware, I don't know for sure though - just  judging that based on a lot of John Carpenters other output. That's a great point you make though, that film realistically is quite close to the sort of thing you'd come to expect from a full fledged cinematic outing from Kojima. Zack Snyder at least hasn't cast himself as God yet, as far as I'm aware. You aren't the only one that jokes about the wolbachia thing, one of my friends and I reference that a lot too, it's like every piece of dialogue featuring CodeTalker, also features the word wolbachia an unreasonable amount of times ?

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15 hours ago, Copanele said:

So so glad I am not the only one here. I honestly never understood why people were amused by this  waste of hard drive space. He's the most unfunny and useless character in the franchise.

And you can't even kill him :( 

15 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Urgh - me and a buddy of mine have had an ongoing argument over the years about who is the most irritating reccuring NPC character - I say Hurk, he says Zeke (from inFamous / inFamous 2).

 

 

I agree with this, however, there was one specific moment in FC4 where he completely made up for all of his failings and made me spit out my coffee - a rare feat indeed. We had to go down a zipline to get downhill and away from a firefight, and he went first and said, "Woooooo baby! Feel the wind on muh taint!!" 

The immaturity finally landed. It sailed straight through my pretentious defences and landed right on the bullseye.

 

For that one joke... I give him a little bit of leeway. You never forget your first time with a man like Hurk ?

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36 minutes ago, GonzoWARgasm said:

For that one joke... I give him a little bit of leeway. You never forget your first time with a man like Hurk ?


Lol I just played Far Cry Primal recently and I couldn’t believe it when he makes an appearance in that game and literally laughed out loud when I saw him. And the way he makes their Wenja language sound is sooo funny. I feel like only 12 year olds are supposed to laugh at the Hurk humour in these games but I just can’t help myself, dude’s hilarious.

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7 hours ago, GonzoWARgasm said:

My god this game is so good. Sometimes character arcs and a good narrative aren't necessary if the game iit's just simply F U N.

 

So many good memories with this one. Was really disappointed that I missed the chance to get the PS3 Plat, but made up for it with a Day 1 purchase of the "remaster" (read: port) and did it on PS4 instead. Great times.

 

Great soundtrack, great visuals, great mechanics. Asking for more would be greedy.

 

I never picked up that remastered version - how was it?

 

I can imagine the game would survive the time transition pretty well - it was pretty timeless, and given that it was already a no-load-times 60fps, it is probably pretty intact - did the manage to keep the whole original soundtrack? I know that music licensing can be a sticking point with a lot of rereleases...

 

 

7 hours ago, rjkclarke said:

I have seen that one. I suspect it was quite self aware, I don't know for sure though - just  judging that based on a lot of John Carpenters other output. That's a great point you make though, that film realistically is quite close to the sort of thing you'd come to expect from a full fledged cinematic outing from Kojima.

 

Man, it's been years since I saw Escape from LA - but as I recall, it was definitely self-aware of how silly it was (I mean, Escape from New York was absolutely as well - and Escape from LA has he added bonus of Bruce Campbell!) I remember reading the (awesome) autobiography he wrote (If Chins Could Kill) and him talking about how bizarre that movie was - so even the actors knew at the time how silly the movie was!

 

7 hours ago, rjkclarke said:

Zack Snyder at least hasn't cast himself as God yet, as far as I'm aware. You aren't the only one that jokes about the wolbachia thing, one of my friends and I reference that a lot too, it's like every piece of dialogue featuring CodeTalker, also features the word wolbachia an unreasonable amount of times ?

 

I think the Zack Snyder comparison is pretty apt - both he and Kojima share a lot of similarities. They both have an odd, slightly grating point f view, they both tend towards a mentality of "What is the coolest thing I can do in this specific scene" without necessarily considering how doing that thing will impact the overall product or narrative, they both fetishise movement and slow motion...

 

The one thing that really separates them though, is that for all his bluster and pomp, Snyder tends towards under-writing scenes to the point where he often fails to get the basic emotional beats across, as opposed to Kojima, who over-writes them to the extent that he tries to cram so much exposition, narrative and emotional content that it kind of undercuts itself, and ends up with a dialogue scene so long and winding that any point he had is lost or long forgotten by the time it finishes ?

 

 

7 hours ago, GonzoWARgasm said:

 

I agree with this, however, there was one specific moment in FC4 where he completely made up for all of his failings and made me spit out my coffee - a rare feat indeed. We had to go down a zipline to get downhill and away from a firefight, and he went first and said, "Woooooo baby! Feel the wind on muh taint!!" 

The immaturity finally landed. It sailed straight through my pretentious defences and landed right on the bullseye.

 

For that one joke... I give him a little bit of leeway. You never forget your first time with a man like Hurk ?

 

6 hours ago, dieselmanchild said:


Lol I just played Far Cry Primal recently and I couldn’t believe it when he makes an appearance in that game and literally laughed out loud when I saw him. And the way he makes their Wenja language sound is sooo funny. I feel like only 12 year olds are supposed to laugh at the Hurk humour in these games but I just can’t help myself, dude’s hilarious.

 

Haha - hey - I can dig an immature joke as much as anyone - hell, I still think The Stick of Truth is up there with the funniest games I've played - Hurk just never really works for me. Did y'all try that Mars DLC for Far Cry 5? Holy hell - I can't lay all the blame on Hurk (that dlc was a hot mess mechanically and tonally too,) but my God, I don't think my eyes have rolled harder than at some of his "hilarious" content in that one. I think I saw my brain at one point...?

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5 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

 

I never picked up that remastered version - how was it?

 

I can imagine the game would survive the time transition pretty well - it was pretty timeless, and given that it was already a no-load-times 60fps, it is probably pretty intact - did the manage to keep the whole original soundtrack? I know that music licensing can be a sticking point with a lot of rereleases...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Haha - hey - I can dig an immature joke as much as anyone - hell, I still think The Stick of Truth is up there with the funniest games I've played - Hurk just never really works for me. Did y'all try that Mars DLC for Far Cry 5? Holy hell - I can't lay all the blame on Hurk (that dlc was a hot mess mechanically and tonally too,) but my God, I don't think my eyes have rolled harder than at some of his "hilarious" content in that one. I think I saw my brain at one point...?

 

The remaster is just a 60fps port. Still has all of the music (or nothing that I recall being specifically missing).

 

Get around it mate. All DLC is obviously now included, and the multiplayer trophies are much easier than expected and can be easily boosted. I don't know if you remember much about the collectibles (hundreds of at least three different things), but it IS a collectathon (one or two whole sessions of guide-following), ALTHOUGH some of the collectables only requite 50% completion for their trophies. From memory there's about 400 gates and you only need to crash about 200...?? 

 

The gameplay holds up but is on the verge of being outdated, and the visuals just received a fps update, no new textures. Play it while the DLC trophies can be boosted and before you become too reliant on PS5 graphics.

 

 

 

That's a shame about the FC5 DLC, I was just about to get it... half price at the moment.

 

 

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9 minutes ago, GonzoWARgasm said:

That's a shame about the FC5 DLC, I was just about to get it... half price at the moment.

 

I will say - I liked the Vietnam DLC a lot - more than the main game actually - it was just the Mars one I really disliked.

I haven't given the Zombies one a go yet.

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11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

Haha - hey - I can dig an immature joke as much as anyone - hell, I still think The Stick of Truth is up there with the funniest games I've played - Hurk just never really works for me. Did y'all try that Mars DLC for Far Cry 5? Holy hell - I can't lay all the blame on Hurk (that dlc was a hot mess mechanically and tonally too,) but my God, I don't think my eyes have rolled harder than at some of his "hilarious" content in that one. I think I saw my brain at one point...1f602.png


Yes I did play the Mars DLC but I actually found it pretty enjoyable for the most part. If you hate Hurk then I can see how that DLC would be completely insufferable ?. I liked it more for the unique change in environments and the awesome new alien weapons it introduced into the game than I did for Hurk though. The rewards were actually really useful and made the NG+/Infamous playthrough a cake walk.

 

Hurk definitely isn’t for everyone, but I can dig him as long as it’s in small doses. The immature humour speaks to my inner manchild, and he cracks me up in FC5 because he’s just such a caricature of that backwoods, rural hillbilly American type. You just know he’s the type of dude who drives a Ford F-150, has a Trump sign staked on his front lawn, and believes Hillary Clinton and George Soros are leading a global cabal of socialist baby eating pedophiles.

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On 8/10/2021 at 7:22 AM, DrBloodmoney said:

I looked it up and it makes sense - that was a 2005 release, so I was graduating and moving city and starting my career at the time, so gaming took a back seat for a couple years...

(plus, that was during my rather unbecoming descent into alcoholism - I pretty much skipped gaming entirely until I got sober in 2008 and needed something to do to keep my hands and mind active at night to keep me off the whisky ?)

 

 

Damn, that's quite a while now, congrats!!

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newtestsubjects.jpg

 

269b.png!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!269b.png

 

 

The next 5 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be:

 

 

Arcade Archives: Gradius
Enigmatis 3: The Shadow of Karkhala
Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Ratchet & Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal
The Witness

 

 

 

 

Subjects in RED marked for 274e.pngPRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT274e.png

[Care of @Copanele , @Slava & @grayhammmer]

 

 

 

Is 'Current Most Awesome' game, Invisible Inc, set to maintain the title forever?

 

Is languishing last-in-show Space Overlords going to ever have any competition for 'Least Awesome Game' ?

 

Let's find out!

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So, it sounds like - for the first time since I began this grand endeavour - I am going to have to figure out how I deal with games I already ranked that get new DLC....

 

Mortal Shell has a dlc pack coming, which I suspect will have trophies attached.

 

Can't quite decide how to handle this in the ranking... do I:

 

  1. remove it from the list, and re-review the entire thing if/when I finish the dlc and get the S-Rank back?
  2. remove it from the ranking, but then just leave the review as is, and reinstate it if I get the S-Rank back? (I actually think it is not possible for me to edit that one review out, as it is in one of the posts that was so long it broke the forum software and I can't!)
  3. Leave it on the ranking, but make some kind of note and highlight it as being "Reviewed prior to DLC"...
  4. Leave it, but add a new 'DLC only' mini review if/when I complete it... and if so, do I adjust the ranking at all?
  5. Just leave everything, as is, and accept the situation as the cost of doing business with a moving target ?

 

All thoughts welcome!

 

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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What I propose is do a mini-review, like Extra Review: Mortal Shell - Dead Again DLC or whatever that DLC is called at the end of your main posts.

It's easy, elegant, you don't change your Scientific Analysis while also writing about the said DLC  :D and don't rank them, just simply let them as a review. Eventually go with " this would increase/decrease the game's position to x"

 

Not the perfect solution but it could work xD 

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7 minutes ago, Copanele said:

What I propose is do a mini-review, like Extra Review: Mortal Shell - Dead Again DLC or whatever that DLC is called at the end of your main posts.

It's easy, elegant, you don't change your Scientific Analysis while also writing about the said DLC  :D and don't rank them, just simply let them as a review. Eventually go with " this would increase/decrease the game's position to x"

 

Not the perfect solution but it could work xD 

 

That's the way I'm leaning too - probably the neatest way to go.

Rather selfishly, I don't really want to completely remove my current ranking, since some of these reviews do take some time between replaying the game a little for familiarisation, writing, ranking etc...

 

The only thing that is a slight wrinkle in this particular case is ... I didn't really like Mortal Shell much...

...so I may decide not to bother with the DLC at all.

 

(I probably will - as it sounds like an actually interesting concept - sound like they are doing the "Mooncrash" thing that Prey did - turning their non-rogue-like game into a rogue-like...

...but still, it's worth thinking about a solution that works assuming I am unable to ever get an S-Rank for a game I've ranked already back, whether due to due to time, desire or skill!)

 

That would mean that there would be a game ranked that breaks my own rules about what is eligible, so I will probably need to at least highlight the game as "reviewed prior to DLC" on the main page in the interim...:hmm:

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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2 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 I will probably need to at least highlight the game as "reviewed prior to DLC" on the main page...:hmm:

Yes that would be the best approach, else you will have to make an extra effort. 

Imagine reviewing AC Valhalla before the DLC xD you would have to edit so much, considering how many DLCs Ubisoft is spitting for that game. 

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Just now, Copanele said:

Yes that would be the best approach, else you will have to make an extra effort. 

Imagine reviewing AC Valhalla before the DLC xD you would have to edit so much, considering how many DLCs Ubisoft is spitting for that game. 

 

Haha - yeah, that's the perils of doing these ranking for all the new games I play!

 

It did actually occur to me at the beginning, and I though for a while that I should have some kind of "waiting period" - only rank games that had been out for 18 months or something like that...

...but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to wax lyrical about games I was really enjoying at the time - and the added bonus of adding some games to the list that I didn't need to hunt through my garage to find or spend hours re-downloading to play some, just to jog my memory!

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1 hour ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

3. Leave it on the ranking, but make some kind of note and highlight it as being "Reviewed prior to DLC"...

4. Leave it, but add a new 'DLC only' mini review if/when I complete it... and if so, do I adjust the ranking at all?

5. Just leave everything, as is, and accept the situation as the cost of doing business with a moving target 1f602.png

 

 

One of these three options

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2 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

Just leave everything, as is, and accept the situation as the cost of doing business with a moving target 

 

This is my vote. At the risk of sounding dismissive, what is the likelihood that the DLC is so good or bad that it completely revamps the way you look at the game altogether?

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11 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

This is my vote. At the risk of sounding dismissive, what is the likelihood that the DLC is so good or bad that it completely revamps the way you look at the game altogether?

 

That's true - and that probably cinches it for me.

 

I had a genuine think about some of the best DLCs I can recall - Undead Nightmare from Red Dead, Mooncrash from Prey, Lair of the Shadow Broker for ME2, Left Behind for TLoUThe Brigmore Witches in Dishonoured, The Surge's DLCs, Metro Last Light etc...

...and I couldn't think of any that would have had such a massive impact on the rankings, as the games were already great standalone.

 

Even something like Dark Souls II, or Dandara, or Hitman, or Cities Skylines, where the DLC adds a huge amount positively to the game wouldn't change that much, as the  base games were good already - and pretty much had to be to support that kind of DLC in the first place.

 

 Of the few ones that I could come up with where the DLCs were significantly better than the base game (there weren't many, but I think Minerva's Den for Bioshock 2, would count here, as well as maybe GTAIV (I liked The Ballad of Gay Tony way more than the base game,) the DLC might have helped a little, but the ranking would already be so cemented by the base game, that the most it would do is drag it up a spot or two....

... but really, negatives in the base game are a tough thing to counter with just a DLC, no matter how good it is - and most likely, the presence of a better DLC is more than likely to just highlight the negatives of the main game by comparison!

 

I must admit - I certainly hope the DLC for something like Mortal Shell can make me like it more - but you're right - even if it is amazing, and solves all the problems of the main game, it's just going to highlight how bad those problems in the main game are - and confirm to me that my analysis was right, as it would prove the dev thought they were a problem too, and worked to distance the DLC from them.

 

 

@YaManSmevz @GonzoWARgasm @Copanele

Cheers guys!

I reckon the way forward is clear - when the S-Rank disappears, I'll highlight the game as such on the main list, but leave it on.

If I get it back, will do a little one-paragraph summary at the end of whatever is the latest batch, and unhighlight it, but the ranking will rain the same. 

Edited by DrBloodmoney
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10 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

  1. Just leave everything, as is, and accept the situation as the cost of doing business with a moving target 1f602.png

 

Just leave as is. 

Ah, I'm behind the curve now. Much to catch up on. Far Cry Primal was alright, but a bit of a missed opportunity. Fun fact, did you know they commissioned some smarty pants to write the script in actual PIE (proto Indo-European)? It got quite a bit of attention amongst language nerds. What a shame to go to all that effort to recreate a real extinct language and then make the rest of the game so cave man silly. 12,000 years ago, humans were......well humans. exactly the same as we are today. We wouldn't have loped around with our knuckles on the ground, we would have been exactly as we still are! I found the whole excessive 'cavemanisation' offputting but still enjoyed the game which incidently was my first ever platinum! 

 

At the risk of de-railing the thread further, I'll quickly say that the whole Kojima/MGS thing is massively over-rated. I've never got the fuss either. I keep trying to like Kojima's games but i just can't get into them. Have you tried Death Stranding yet Doc? I didn't like it. Beautiful but dull. 

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8 minutes ago, JoesusHCrust said:

At the risk of de-railing the thread further, I'll quickly say that the whole Kojima/MGS thing is massively over-rated. I've never got the fuss either. I keep trying to like Kojima's games but i just can't get into them. Have you tried Death Stranding yet Doc? I didn't like it. Beautiful but dull. 

 

Nah, I learned a while back that Kojima stuff isn't just a matter of approach, or IP or platform for me - it's him I think - his stuff just does not gel with me whatsoever, so post MGS 4, I have just steered clear and left his output to those with the love for it! 

 

11 minutes ago, JoesusHCrust said:

 

Far Cry Primal was alright, but a bit of a missed opportunity. Fun fact, did you know they commissioned some smarty pants to write the script in actual PIE (proto Indo-European)? It got quite a bit of attention amongst language nerds. What a shame to go to all that effort to recreate a real extinct language and then make the rest of the game so cave man silly. 12,000 years ago, humans were......well humans. exactly the same as we are today. We wouldn't have loped around with our knuckles on the ground, we would have been exactly as we still are! I found the whole excessive 'cavemanisation' offputting but still enjoyed the game which incidently was my first ever platinum! 

 

I didn't realise that about the language - that's interesting, though I guess one of those things that is probably very interesting to do, but the actual impact is questionable - I mean, how many folks would even be able to tell the difference between that, and just making up a language... ?

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10 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Nah, I learned a while back that Kojima stuff isn't just a matter of approach, or IP or platform for me - it's him I think - his stuff just does not gel with me whatsoever, so post MGS 4, I have just steered clear and left his output to those with the love for it! 

 

 

I didn't realise that about the language - that's interesting, though I guess one of those things that is probably very interesting to do, but the actual impact is questionable - I mean, how many folks would even be able to tell the difference between that, and just making up a language... 1f602.png

I didn't really know who Kojima was, just that he was supposed to be amazing. Definitely have buyers remorse over Death Stranding. Only play if you want to experience distilled essence of everything you hate in computer games!!! 

 

That's true. Since they weren't going realistic on any other aspect of the game, they could have just made up the language and saved themselves a lot of effort! 

 

Just in case you are interested: https://rota.as.uky.edu/far-cry-primal/

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Hello good doctor! Regrettably I am very behind in my scientific reading. The school holidays mean my free time is drastically reduced and the little I get is used to play games rather than read about them ? I will get round to it though I promise!


Just dropped by to say I've recently played two games based on your reviews. Beyond Eyes and The Spectrum Retreat, although I think The Spectrum Retreat pre-dated this endeavour and was just a status update at the time.

 

Beyond eyes was an interesting one for me. The very deliberate, slow and clunky movement was very familiar to me. I'm not blind but have a physical disability meaning I also move in that same ultra careful way. The actual game was as middle of the road, okay as it gets really but that little girl was the most relatable character to me I've come across in a long time. A Fascinating and unexpected experience.

 

Spectrum Retreat was exactly as I was expecting not that that was a bad thing. The puzzle rooms were well done but I enjoyed the story and atmosphere of the hotel side of the game a lot more.

 

I enjoyed both so you are 2 for 2 with this particular reader ?It took me half hour to type this as I'm also trying to guide my 3yr old through a level on Lego Marvel Superheroes ?‍♂️ once she's back at school I'll dig through all the reviews I've missed and hopefully add some games to my to play list!

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18 minutes ago, Cleggworth said:

Hello good doctor! Regrettably I am very behind in my scientific reading. The school holidays mean my free time is drastically reduced and the little I get is used to play games rather than read about them 1f604.png I will get round to it though I promise!

 

Haha, tell me about it - the summer holidays are a busy time for me with work, and having the wee man running around has meant the rate of scientific progress has been slowed to a crawl too - along with my own trophy gathering! ?

 

18 minutes ago, Cleggworth said:


Just dropped by to say I've recently played two games based on your reviews. Beyond Eyes and The Spectrum Retreat, although I think The Spectrum Retreat pre-dated this endeavour and was just a status update at the time.

 

Beyond eyes was an interesting one for me. The very deliberate, slow and clunky movement was very familiar to me. I'm not blind but have a physical disability meaning I also move in that same ultra careful way. The actual game was as middle of the road, okay as it gets really but that little girl was the most relatable character to me I've come across in a long time. A Fascinating and unexpected experience.

 

Awesome! Glad you liked it - there's nothing worse than when you endorse a game and someone ends up hating it ? - Beyond Eyes was a real interesting concept - not sure they quite made as much out of it as they could have - like you say, it's quite minimalistic from an actual mechanical gameplay point of view, and so it does get a little thin in the back half of the game - but the art design and the tone are spot on - and make the girl very charming. I wonder whether some of that games appeal is similar to the Yorda thing , especially for gamers with kids - the dangers in the world feel magnified, as you feel a sense of needing to protect her from everything - even if it isn't actually a gameplay 'danger' ?

 

 

18 minutes ago, Cleggworth said:

Spectrum Retreat was exactly as I was expecting not that that was a bad thing. The puzzle rooms were well done but I enjoyed the story and atmosphere of the hotel side of the game a lot more.

 

Glad to hear that one too - that's a game that really seemed to just fly under the radar, but not too many games manage to pack in a pretty intruding mystery, a character driven narrative, and a fully fledged puzzle game into such a short run time!

 

 

18 minutes ago, Cleggworth said:

I enjoyed both so you are 2 for 2 with this particular reader 1f44d.pngIt took me half hour to type this as I'm also trying to guide my 3yr old through a level on Lego Marvel Superheroes ?‍♂️ once she's back at school I'll dig through all the reviews I've missed and hopefully add some games to my to play list!

 

Good luck - don't miss that red brick! ?

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On 8/15/2021 at 1:44 AM, GonzoWARgasm said:

Just got Transistor for under $8AUS during a Winter Sale. Usually $30AUS. Excited!

Thanks for the head's up! Saw this, checked the store, and snagged it myself for $5US?

 

Now, the matter of when I'll be able to actually play it...

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