Troz

First person to make me laugh gets a $10 PSN gift card!

109 posts in this topic

True story:

 

A few weeks ago, my friend told me "You're so dumb, if it was raining pussy, you'd get hit in the head with a dick."

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5 hours ago, Connie said:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence; then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

He actually searched "best jokes ever" on Google and copied the first one, very old trick. But I have a original one for you! 

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.” Love animal jokes? Here are 17 horse jokes that you can’t help but laugh at.

Edited by Jeanoltt
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Nothing yet guys! Keep going!

 

Spoiler

DiscussingFilm on Twitter: "The first trailer for Julia Ducournau's  'TITANE' has been released. The film releases on October 1 in theaters.  https://t.co/Y2TmVRRA5f"

 

Straight-faced killer!

 

Edit: Just sayin, the reason I said It will be given away no matter what is to show I have no reason to lie! No matter what I will not be keeping this card! You guys have come pretty close....

Edited by Troz
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A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood clinic. The priest says, "I'm a Type-A." The minister said, "I'm a Type-B." The rabbit says, "I think I'm a Type-O."

Honestly, I'm just here for the random drawing.

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Q: which will hit the ground first if you throw them out of an airplane at 30,000ft altitude at the same time?

 

- a 100lb female

- a 100lb rock

 

A: who cares?!

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I think the funniest joke I ever heard while growing up was the one where the Cowboy has to take a massive shit in his own hat.

 

No idea about the rest of the story though.

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A horse comes in a pub. Asked the bartender: "hey, why the long face?"

Edited by Inuty
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A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. He asks the bartender, ''How much?''''For you, sir, no charge.''

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The President of China is the real-life Winnie the Pooh.

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There is a degree of insanity in this thread, too bad i have no good or bad jokes.

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Me not knowing you, trying to make you laugh over the internet and winning money in doing so....

 

Yeeehh, it'd be like falling into a bucket of tits and coming out sucking my thumb....

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10 minutes ago, Ashbo said:

Me not knowing you, trying to make you laugh over the internet and winning money in doing so....

 

Yeeehh, it'd be like falling into a bucket of tits and coming out sucking my thumb....

well at least it is not a titty-twister

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Man1 - Do you like fishsticks ?

Man2 - Yes !

Man1 - So you like putting fishticks in your mouth ... What are you ? A gay fish ? Ôô 

 

(Southpark copyright 😇)

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A woman walked into a bar, and asked the bartender for a double entendre.

The barman gave her one.

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What do you call an Honest Politican?

 

Fake News.

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35 minutes ago, Carol said:

Husky to Dog 911: My owner has been gone for 10 seconds…

 

Dog 911: Have you tried eating the couch?

 

I know nothing about this.

 

(Also posting here to get a chance at the random pick.)

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i don't think anyone can make you laugh so I'm going to post just to enter the random pick.

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I hate people who use big words. They're so ostentatious.

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