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Troz

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A man goes to psychiatrist & says: Please doctor, help me. I have a huge problem. You see, I'm a grown man & yet every night I wet the bed.

Doctor: Tell me everything.

Man: When I fall asleep, a gnome carrying a chamber pot comes to my dream & asks: "Did we peed yet?" & I say "No", then he asks "Well, what are we waiting for?" & that's where I wet the bed & wake up. Please help me.

Doctor: Hmmm, here's what you do: When the gnome asks you if you peed yet, you say "Yes" & everything should be alright. Come again next week & tell me how it goes.

Man: I will. Thank you doctor.

1 week later, man comes back & doctor asks: So what happened? Did the therapy work?

Man: Don't ask me anything doctor. Now it's even worse!

Doctor: Why? What happened?

Man: I did everything you said. Gnome came to my dream, asked me if I peed yet, I said "Yes", then he asked me "Did we pooped yet", I said "No" & then he asked "Well, what are we waiting for?".

Edited by kenseizenkai
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In high school, I went to New York City for a field trip. I ended up having digestive problems and walking around NYC doesn't give you a lot of opportunities to go to bathroom. I woke up in the middle of the night and went to bathroom, tip toeing past my roommates, we were 4 to a room. After blowing up the bathroom I tiptoed back to bed feeling utterly relieved. As I was drifting off back to dreamland, one of my roommates woke up and said: "Oh my God! What is that smell!?" 

 

I almost bit my tongue trying not to laugh out loud. The telling of this story is better in person but I hope reading it at least makes you smile. 

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STREAM DECK, ANALYZER, FUCKIN MODERATER STANDS, SOUND FILTER, SIX MONITORS, PEDALS, DRUMS, UH I- GAMING GUITAR, CONTROLLER, SIX CONSOLES, TEN COMPUTERS, BUNCH OF FUCKING WIRES, SOUND PADS, SPEAKERS, ANTENA, SATELLITES, DOG, DOG CAM, CAT CAM, CAT TREE, CAT THIS, AND A BUNCH OF DOHDUDAJU RIGHT? THE DOLDDHFJD FUCKING ANALYZE NASAS LANDING SPEEDS DUDE

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Two old friends meet up in a bar. Time, unfortunately, hasn’t been good to them. One of the friends grew a hump on his back and the other one lost his leg due to an accident and now walks with a wooden leg. 
 

After a night of drinking and reminiscing about the past it’s time to go home. It’s almost 2am and the the hunchback promised his wife to be home at 2am so the friends say goodbye and made a deal to meet up again in this bar next week.

 

Having to hurry to get home before his wife gets mad the hunchback has the idea of taking the shortcut through the graveyard. Pretty intoxicated he can’t believe what he’s is seeing. It’s a ghost..

 

’I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF THIS GRAVEYARD’. ‘WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?’ Still thinking he is imagining things the hunchback stutters: ‘B-B-Baker’. ‘WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR BACK?’ A-a hump. ‘GIVE ME THE HUMP!’ Out of nowhere the ghosts rips off the hump of Baker. Waking up the next morning, thinking it was all a dream, the hump was gone. He couldn’t believe it.

 

Next week the two friends meet up again in the bar and Baker tells the story about the ghost and how he cured him from the hump on his back. The man with the wooden leg can’t believe it but decides it’s worth a shot to maybe get his leg fixed. Drinking some beers to find the courage he also takes the shortcut through the graveyard. And sure enough. There was the ghost.

 

’I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF THIS GRAVEYARD’. ‘WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?’ ‘I’m Troz and I’m here to get my leg fixed. ‘WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR BACK?’ ‘Huh? On my back? I have nothing on my back.’ ‘HERE! HAVE A HUMP!’

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30 more minutes!! Might as well comment something to be included in the random raffle. If I draw your number and it isn’t your first post, I will draw again. Good luck everybody, maybe you can make me laugh in the next 30 minutes!

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