Popular Post scemopagliaccioh Posted October 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2021 People call me Hadouken because I’m down right punchable 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkrobot_pb Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) A jew, a muslim and a christian walk into a bar. Bartender: "Is this some kind of joke?". Edited October 20, 2021 by pinkrobot_pb 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenseizenkai Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) A man goes to psychiatrist & says: Please doctor, help me. I have a huge problem. You see, I'm a grown man & yet every night I wet the bed. Doctor: Tell me everything. Man: When I fall asleep, a gnome carrying a chamber pot comes to my dream & asks: "Did we peed yet?" & I say "No", then he asks "Well, what are we waiting for?" & that's where I wet the bed & wake up. Please help me. Doctor: Hmmm, here's what you do: When the gnome asks you if you peed yet, you say "Yes" & everything should be alright. Come again next week & tell me how it goes. Man: I will. Thank you doctor. 1 week later, man comes back & doctor asks: So what happened? Did the therapy work? Man: Don't ask me anything doctor. Now it's even worse! Doctor: Why? What happened? Man: I did everything you said. Gnome came to my dream, asked me if I peed yet, I said "Yes", then he asked me "Did we pooped yet", I said "No" & then he asked "Well, what are we waiting for?". Edited October 21, 2021 by kenseizenkai 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
da-Noob123 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 In high school, I went to New York City for a field trip. I ended up having digestive problems and walking around NYC doesn't give you a lot of opportunities to go to bathroom. I woke up in the middle of the night and went to bathroom, tip toeing past my roommates, we were 4 to a room. After blowing up the bathroom I tiptoed back to bed feeling utterly relieved. As I was drifting off back to dreamland, one of my roommates woke up and said: "Oh my God! What is that smell!?" I almost bit my tongue trying not to laugh out loud. The telling of this story is better in person but I hope reading it at least makes you smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelTheCosmos Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 What's yellow and has 4 wheels? A banana. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowMoyoo Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Yoinky Sloinky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeelTheCosmos Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I lied about the wheels. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arcanehornet_ Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruscah Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 STREAM DECK, ANALYZER, FUCKIN MODERATER STANDS, SOUND FILTER, SIX MONITORS, PEDALS, DRUMS, UH I- GAMING GUITAR, CONTROLLER, SIX CONSOLES, TEN COMPUTERS, BUNCH OF FUCKING WIRES, SOUND PADS, SPEAKERS, ANTENA, SATELLITES, DOG, DOG CAM, CAT CAM, CAT TREE, CAT THIS, AND A BUNCH OF DOHDUDAJU RIGHT? THE DOLDDHFJD FUCKING ANALYZE NASAS LANDING SPEEDS DUDE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troz Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 Another Update! Just got to school, here are my reactions: @mariosF94 - Very clever, made me smile @eigen-space - Almost made me laugh, never heard that one. @Cruscah - CAT TREE Keep going! Still nothing.... Random winner will be picked at 5PM CST if nobody makes me laugh ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshC17 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 11 hours ago, enaysoft said: Trying to think of really awful jokes. Q: What's green and wrinkly? A: The Incredible Hulk's Grandma! Or a noncey Hulk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajloHS93 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Abracadabra hocus-pocus yo grandma is ford focus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baker Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Two old friends meet up in a bar. Time, unfortunately, hasn’t been good to them. One of the friends grew a hump on his back and the other one lost his leg due to an accident and now walks with a wooden leg. After a night of drinking and reminiscing about the past it’s time to go home. It’s almost 2am and the the hunchback promised his wife to be home at 2am so the friends say goodbye and made a deal to meet up again in this bar next week. Having to hurry to get home before his wife gets mad the hunchback has the idea of taking the shortcut through the graveyard. Pretty intoxicated he can’t believe what he’s is seeing. It’s a ghost.. ’I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF THIS GRAVEYARD’. ‘WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?’ Still thinking he is imagining things the hunchback stutters: ‘B-B-Baker’. ‘WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR BACK?’ A-a hump. ‘GIVE ME THE HUMP!’ Out of nowhere the ghosts rips off the hump of Baker. Waking up the next morning, thinking it was all a dream, the hump was gone. He couldn’t believe it. Next week the two friends meet up again in the bar and Baker tells the story about the ghost and how he cured him from the hump on his back. The man with the wooden leg can’t believe it but decides it’s worth a shot to maybe get his leg fixed. Drinking some beers to find the courage he also takes the shortcut through the graveyard. And sure enough. There was the ghost. ’I AM THE GATEKEEPER OF THIS GRAVEYARD’. ‘WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?’ ‘I’m Troz and I’m here to get my leg fixed. ‘WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR BACK?’ ‘Huh? On my back? I have nothing on my back.’ ‘HERE! HAVE A HUMP!’ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willmill97 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Boomerang boomerang shrimp Hugh Jackman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonCogInteractive Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I'm fed up with you Christians criticising us Muslims for sleeping with animals. I'll get my goat. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMinuteSavior Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 @Baker I was pretty sure the guy was gonna lose his good leg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VigilantCrow Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I'll give you a $10 PSN gift card if you force yourself to laugh at this post first. ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAbyssWalker61 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DizzyDavidson Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 My penis fell off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troz Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 30 more minutes!! Might as well comment something to be included in the random raffle. If I draw your number and it isn’t your first post, I will draw again. Good luck everybody, maybe you can make me laugh in the next 30 minutes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StanPortrBridges Posted October 20, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2021 (edited) So a Jewish man is sitting in his living room reading the newspaper. His eldest son walks in through the front door after being out all day. "Father, I have something to tell you, I'm Christian now." His father is very confused, as his son left almost as quickly as he came in. His father didn't know what to do so he went to his neighbors house. "My son just came back and said he was a Christian, do you have any advice?" The neighbor looked at him and said "Dude, you're not gonna believe this but my son too was gone for some time and when he came back he said he was a Christian" "Well we have to do something about this, this is so strange, maybe we should go talk to the Rabbi." Said the Father. They go see the Rabbi and the Father says "Our sons, both were gone for some time and then came back to us saying they were Christians, what do we do?" The Rabbi says "Guys, you're not going to believe this but my son also was gone and then came back saying he was a Christian! There's only one thing left to do, we have to go to God for guidance. All 3 go to God and say "God, our sons, they were out for some time and when they came back to us they said they were Christians, what guidance can you give us!?" God says to them, "Guys, You're not gonna believe this but..." Edited October 20, 2021 by StanPortrBridges 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troz Posted October 20, 2021 Author Share Posted October 20, 2021 @StanPortrBridges close one! one of the best so far! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mapa Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Why do golfers bring two pair of socks? Spoiler In case they get a Hole in one. ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solid-Fisch Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 Donald Trump is a intelligent and fine human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Troz Posted October 20, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2021 Ok..... results are in.... nobody made me laugh! Anyways, as promised, there will be a random drawing at the end if nobody makes me laugh. There are a total of 99 posts above mine. I will generate a random number 1-99 (including my initial post) and whoever gets picked wins! If it isn't your first post in this thread another number will be drawn. Now..... for the winner.... Random Number: 35 The Winner is @Sebulba2000! I will message you with the code, congrats everyone who participated! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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