Trophies for Mental Health II

[AK-1138]

Okay, so... for reasons, I've been led to renege on my pledge to play Celeste. It just ended up being pushed further and further back, and I decided not to rush the experience. I'm generally trying to avoid any manner of gaming motivated largely by compulsion these days, so you can call that a victory for my own mental health, I guess.

 

...I did manage to finish Colors Is Strange: True Life, though. Not the height of the series, but good in its own right. Helps not to have actively dislikeable primary characters *COUGHBEFORETHESTORMCOUGH*. Its event-relevant (relevent?) themes of mental complexity just so happened to prove its biggest strength.

 

Without spoiling too much, the writing does an admirable job in presenting a variety of nuanced emotional states, especially when it comes to the myriad manifestations of survivor's guilt. Even principally good characters can surprise you with moments of "bad" thoughts or actions, but ones that tend to make sense from their perspective, at least. Very true to life, indeed.

 

To say nothing of the care and thoughtfulness with which the game treats other heavy subject matter like the weight of aspiration, the dissolution of a family unit, and our complicated codependence with unscrupulous corporations. The supernatural elements never get in the way of the game's very grounded ruminations on human nature. Ultimately, there is very little judgment or moralizing to be found here, just... humanity, good and bad. Some elements of the main plotline feel either underdeveloped or rushed, but the smaller moments are the narrative's stronger aspect anyway. Definitely better for having played it.

 

I don't quite recall at present what this platinum does or doesn't qualify me for, but I'm glad I got to play some small part in the whole event. Now, I've got a thread to catch up with...

[IntroPhenom]

 

I finished. Good thing the universe threw me a bone in the form of 24 additional hours to complete my game. (Spent all last night/this morning thinking today was 01 JUNE.)

 

Potential minor spoilers ahead.

 

To sum up my experience with LIS, I'll repeat the popular quote from one of the earlier Spiderman movies: With great power comes great responsibility. Or, in the case of LIS, you can select the second option and ride off into the sunset like nothing ever happened! 

 

Poor Max has a gift, and it's one that toys with her emotions and makes her second guess every move she makes. She thinks she knows what to do and makes decisions, but then learns she didn't have a clue. Resonates easily with me and I'd guess most everyone else on planet Earth. 

 

The social media aspect comes in the form of online bullying. My generation missed this, as the internet was a young spiderling in a confusing web when I was in high school, but the ideas presented in LIS are instantly believable and hit hard. I would have hated to be a kid enrobed by the internet/social media. I see no way for that to be healthy. 

 

All in all, LIS is a pretty sad game. Very well done, very enjoyable to play, great story, superb voice acting, all that. As long as you don't mind a heaping spoonful of reality with your Lucky Charms, there's no reason not to play it. 

Edited May 31, 2022 by IntroPhenom

[rjkclarke]

I didn't manage to get a bonus game ticked off, which is a shame.

 

But I did manage to play through Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice. Funnily enough, it turns out both @Crispy_Oglop and I had a similarly emotionally draining experience playing this. Thank you for sharing that story you did by the way, that took a whole lot of courage, and I respect the hell out of the fact you felt comfortable sharing it.

 

 I really do think Hellblade is one of those fantastic experiences that are so worthy of your time. It turns out an event like this was the perfect time to play it. I'll post both my review of it (I'll chuck it in spoiler tags though, because it's loooooooooooooong... I don't spoil any of the story in the review, so it is safe to read,) but I'll write something a little more focused on the mental health aspect of it below that about how some of it directly affected me, and part of why it resonated with me so much. More than I ever expected it to, I can say that much. 

 

The Review

 

 

Spoiler

To call Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice an experience is quite frankly an understatement. Let’s get this out of the way first; this game really isn’t for everyone. Even taking its shorter length and limited gameplay out of the equation entirely – it really does ask a whole lot from you as a player on an emotional level. The line “I learnt the hard way.... a life without loss, is one without love” resonated with me so much more than I wanted it to. That REALLY hurt!

 

That being said – I think Hellblade Senua’s Sacrifice, is so worth peoples time, as both a game, and as an experience overall. You notice, I keep using the word experience? Mainly because there’s a little part of me that doesn’t quite feel comfortable saying “I had a wonderful time with this” or words to that effect.

There’s an almost guilty feeling, that goes part and parcel with why I feel a little anxious about saying I enjoyed it. As if you’re enjoying someone’s suffering. So I’ll just make it very clear, I have very little negative to say about the game, but before I get ahead of myself too much, let’s get into this review.

 

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice is an Action Adventure game, developed and published by Ninja Theory, with its PS4 release coming all the way back in 2017. You take the role of Senua, a young female Warrior, battling your way through Helheim, in a quest to save the soul of your beloved.

 

Yes, admittedly, that is an incredibly brief and vague description of the story. I’ll discuss some elements of the story, sure, but this will still be spoiler free. If you’ve played it, you’ll almost certainly know what I’m talking about though. I think anyone who is able to experience (that word again) this beautifully bleak, yet, so very powerful story unfold, whilst knowing as few spoilers as possible, they absolutely should!

 

Senua herself – suffers from psychosis, or in her own words, a curse, or “The Darkness.” When you see a job title in the credits like “Mental Health Supervisor” or words to that effect, it was reassuring to know that the game was as well researched as it was. That did not go unnoticed or unappreciated on my part.

 

I have a little bit of a personal stake in my experience of this game, as mental health issues (I hate that descriptor) run fairly deep in my family, it plagues a fair few of us in various ways (myself included). My Grandfather suffered from Psychosis too, although from what I’m led to believe, not quite in the same way Senua does, yet still quite crippling and haunted him for many years of his life. A selfish part of me, really hopes that mental health struggles don’t manifest themselves within me, any worse than it already has done in some areas.

 

I had read in a few places about how limited the gameplay is in Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, before playing it. To be perfectly honest – I think this is a wholly unfair criticism. Whilst on a surface level, there is very little in Hellblade that quite reinvents the wheel gameplay wise, I’m not quite sure it should either. Yes, you could argue the combat is a little basic, but it is functional, smooth and quite satisfying once you get a sense for parry timing.

 

There were parts of the game where I found myself genuinely questioning whether there was any real point to the combat. However, I’m going to fall back to the Douglas Adams quote I love so much of “I’d rather be happy, than right, any day.”

 

Take it from me, there is a point to the combat – from a narrative and thematic perspective, this game would absolutely suffer without it, and part of its core message would be so much less impactful.  The more you think about it, the more it works. Even down to the visual elements to it. Each defeated enemy doesn’t visibly die, they just dissipate. It seems like a small thing at first, but this game directly deals with the impact of failing mental health upon a person. Those demons you battle momentarily disappearing, only to reappear further on, stronger and more powerful, is by its very nature, an incredibly potent metaphor. Unfortunately, it’s a crushingly sad one too. No matter how hard you fight against The Darkness, unfortunately sometimes it always finds a way to come back.  It’s painful, it’s so thought provoking, but it is brilliant.  

 

I’ve even heard the words redundant used when describing Hellblade’s puzzles – redundant is a word I don’t think I’d ever dream of using when it comes to Hellblade’s puzzles. Did they even play the same game? Sure, I could probably concede that they aren’t particularly challenging, but redundant is quite frankly ludicrous. For those that might not be aware, I am very much a puzzle game fan, and, yes, as I alluded to, they aren’t particularly challenging, but they are good. Instead of dwelling on one type, they tend to mix it up, with many different types of puzzle, or at the very least add a new variation to one you might have already seen.

They’re versatile, varied and they’re almost always integrated in a way which marries incredibly well with the narrative. One puzzle in particular I’ll be discussing in greater detail soon.  Personally, I think, had the puzzles been slightly more challenging, or obtuse, the experience as a whole would suffer substantially as a result, instead of streamlining it.

 

There’s a section of gameplay which is not strictly a puzzle, but it is a fascinating one to play nevertheless. The Blindness Shard Trial – I must say it was my personal favourite. You’re tasked with navigating almost complete darkness, with only a voice as your guide. It is one of the most perfect examples of how the visual (or lack thereof) and audio elements combine to form such a memorable part of the experience. It makes you as a player; hypersensitive to every individual noise and every tiny sliver of vision you’re afforded. It’s one of the finest examples in the game of how synchronised you sometimes feel with Senua’s actions. That slight nagging doubt of “do you trust the voice?” It works incredibly well. I also thought the section of the game involving Valravyn (God of Illusion) were very well designed, the use of environmental manipulation puzzles were rather satisfying to unravel

 

This leads me onto something. Instead of discussing Hellblade’s audio and visual elements separately, in this games case it feels best to discuss them in tandem, as they complement each other to a startlingly powerful extent. There are so many instances during your journey (yes I’m calling it that) through Hellblade, where the audio and visual elements simply, would not work without the other there to synergise with it in a near perfect way.

 

As a by-product of Senua’s psychosis, she is constantly plagued by voices inside her head. She refers to them as furies, but those are not the only voices. Some of those voices are warm, comforting or encouraging. It’s very bittersweet the way the game explores this aspect. I’ll inject a little of myself here, this bit really got under my skin a little. I have never heard voices in my head (lucky me), but I can very much empathise with that constant doubt in your mind, that you can’t do something, or you simply shouldn’t do something, or you aren’t good enough to do something. Poor Senua has that, yet amplified by an unfortunately great amount. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s relentless, but it’s also, absolutely brilliant.  

 

There is something very specific in Hellblade that I am eternally grateful for – and to some it might not seem like a worthy talking point, but I think it is. That is, that I’m so very glad that Senua is not conventionally attractive – I’m not suggesting she’s ugly either, she isn’t, not at all. I have a feeling that the developers probably were aware that if she was incredibly attractive, or indeed overly sexualised, then people might feel sympathy for – what they might deem, the wrong reasons. Instead they choose to tell her story in a way that paints her as incredibly strong and endearing despite, her obvious struggles, what she looks like is ultimately not that relevant, but in a good way.

 

An interesting facet of Hellblade, is its ability to never quite let the player feel at ease. It’s realised extraordinarily well in places. The developers really ran with the notion of making you as a player confront something you might not personally be comfortable with. This is something that I wholeheartedly can respect. It unashamedly presents mental health struggles in the cold light of day, and the horrific way it can manifest itself in some people, yet gives you as a player enough space to process what’s going on. It might not seem like much initially, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that Hellblade is paced tremendously.

It’s a clever touch, the way in which you learn a story revelation, and then usually have a section where you’re purely moving from place to place.  This allows you the time to be able to reflect on everything that has just transpired. When that’s coupled with the excellent sound design, it leads to something very impressive.  

 

I’d be hesitant to say that Hellblade is a cinematic game – I feel like that would be misleading, it has an explicit focus on storytelling, and cutscenes, sure, but it very much is a game, it leans very hard into the player interactivity that uniquely affords. They want you to think, and they want you to feel. It’s very clever, as the writing and direction team use this to great effect. What they do incredibly well is use cinematic techniques to enhance the game, and the story as a whole. The use of the camera itself is done particularly well. Sometimes you have control, and sometimes you don’t.  

 

Having the camera directly behind Senua, yet at a slight distance was a deliberate element that I thought was fantastic. For me, there were times during my time with Hellblade, where I thought my mere presence as a player was an intrusion upon something. I can only surmise that this was deliberate intent from Ninja Theory. It’s an incredibly subtle and brilliantly unconventional use of film-making techniques. On occasion, Senua will look directly at the camera, not slightly to the side of it, not slightly past it, straight into it. As if she’s staring straight at you, as if she’s addressing you directly. It gave me such an odd feeling, as if I was intruding on a very personal moment, yet it gave me a pang of guilt. The frightened and uncertain look in her face, just compounds that feeling. It’s exactly what I meant earlier, about how the audio and visual elements of Hellblade synergise so fantastically well together.   

 

Visually, Hellblade is a real treat. The graphical fidelity is absolutely spectacular, even on a basic launch PS4, which mine is. It’s a game that very much deserves to have some powerhouse graphical capabilities to back up the absolutely genius (yes I said it) artistic design that was painstakingly crafted for this game.

 

When I say painstakingly, I mean it too. Every little thing has a point, and a purpose. Littered throughout the game are so many reoccurring and horrific sights that really do make you double take on occasion. I thought it was rather inspired, the way that the game forces you to directly confront a lot of the imagery. You don’t see it once then look away, you’re forced to see it multiple times, and you, as a player are presented with no choice but to consider why you might be seeing exactly what you’re seeing.

 

I am genuinely not using hyperbole here, I honestly believe Hellblade has some of the very best sound design that I have ever encountered in a video game. I would love to be able to see the timeline, of all the soundscapes that were created for this game. They must have looked breathtaking, even the smallest soundscapes can look like a city skyline of waveforms. The amount of effort that must have gone into this aspect of the game alone is incredible. My mole people (sound designers) brethren and sisteren (is that a word? It is now) absolutely did themselves proud with the sheer scale of the sound design found within this game, and this is saying nothing of the incredibly crisp quality of it. Not only is the foley work spectacular, the ways the voices in Senua’s head are handled are terrific. It’s the relentlessness of them, that do such a tremendous job of making you question how Senua is even able to move forward at times, especially when coupled with how subtly lucid and peaceful the moments where she hears a friendlier voices tend to be.

 

I am going to play this game in the future with a good set of headphones. I owe it to myself, as I really feel as if it would enhance an already fantastic game even further. I suspect it could be twice as harrowing for the voices to sound like they were in my own head. I can do nothing but appreciate the incredible ambition for a relatively small development team to put as much focus as they did on just sound. Take it from me though; it’s still incredibly impactful even through surround sound.

 

Recording binaural audio (replicating as close as possible to what the human ear would hear) is tricky, even with really good equipment.  I’ve tried making pseudo- binaural audio myself, using two microphones, and it’s a process that requires a lot of patience, yet it’s very intriguing. I’ll leave a link to an interesting article about it, if anyone wants to read further about the process (I don’t blame you, if you don’t, it’s bad enough probably having to hear me gush about it). As a massive sound geek myself, I was pretty blown away by how breathtakingly good this game’s sound is on an auditory level.

 

All those fantastic individual elements are brilliantly complimented by a real powerhouse soundtrack, provided by David Garcia and Andy La Plegua. Using the term emotional rollercoaster feels a little inappropriate given the subject matter, but the way in which the soundtrack  can fluctuate between almost euphorically purposeful and powerful, to mournful sadness, does a wonderful job of encapsulating the constant inner battle that is unfortunately experienced by Senua and so many others like her. The song that plays over the credits, Illusion by VNV Nation, absolutely got to me. It has a really dull beat to it, but what that dull beat does, is make you really pay attention to the lyrics, which then make you think about everything you’ve just experienced. It’s something that Transistor also did in such an effective way.

 

It would be wrong of me not to mention how spectacularly the game handles motion capture and voice acting, another near perfect marriage of the audio and visual. To me the thing that makes it so very impressive, is that Melina Juergens (Senua) hadn’t voice acted or performed motion capture before taking the role. Take a second or two to get your head around that if you’ve played the game.

She is clearly an abundantly talented lady. She manages to voice act incredibly well, giving a layered performance where she does such a nuanced job of displaying the anguish, pain and suffering that has permeated Senua’s entire being for years and years. It has a real pay off too, when so much of that long-caged emotion is just set free almost instantaneously.

Juergens also motion captures Senua’s facial expressions brilliantly. Whether she’s scared, devastated, pained or occasionally quite lucid and euphoric, she absolutely excels at getting you, the player, to fully understand where Senua is at mentally.

 

Do I recommend Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice? Yes I do, I really do! The thing is, I’m very aware this game wouldn’t be for everyone, or something everyone could universally enjoy. I strongly feel like this isn’t a game where trophies should be the motivator. Yes, they’re simple and pretty easy, but if that’s all you’re interested in, I don’t think you’re likely to experience the game the way the developers would like you to.  

I think it’s very much something people should play just as a means to further understand peoples struggles with mental health, perhaps even your own. However, it can be brutal, and it probably won’t be a joyous experience.  Just like counselling, you have to go into the process with your mind fairly open. I absolutely love the fact that video games have evolved to the point where they can tell a story like this.

 

The Mental Health Side of Hellblade

 

As Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice directly deals with themes of both psychosis and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, knowing that going into it, you're almost guaranteed a thought provoking time. The combination of both camera and sound, do such a brutally realistic job of really letting the player know what it must be like to live in Senua's head. It feels intrusive at times, but when you look into how much research went into this aspect of it, it fills me with such sadness to know how many people suffered, and continue to suffer like that.

 

Something which I'm really glad of, however harrowing it might be in Hellblade's case, is how open and honest the game is regarding mental health. Some games (and other forms of media too, come to that) treat it as some simple thing you can just wash away if you're suddenly granted some happiness or hope, or medication even. Unfortunately, things don't quite work that way.

 

Hellblade confronts you head on with both the repercussions of other people outside of your control directly affecting your mental health, and how exactly those feelings can manifest themselves for an unbearably long time.  I really appreciated how honest it was in this regard.

 

The games combat itself is such a near perfect analogy for the eternal struggle that some people will unfortunately always have with their mental health. I found it such a crushingly sad realisation the more I thought about it, but I couldn't help but be a little bit bowled over by how cleverly it was implemented. 

I truly hope that there are people that played this game, that felt a little less alone, frightened or lost as a result of playing this.

 

Whether you're fighting an ongoing battle with mental health issues, or have done (I still hate that description) to even the smallest degree, then I find it very hard to believe you won't find elements of this game that resonate with you on an emotional level. However emotionally draining this game might be, I feel like it's such a necessary one for so many people to further understand the real fight that so many people have to endure on a daily basis. 

 

Senua herself being a warrior is such a beautifully apt thing for her character - because anyone that has to endure the things she, and so many have to,even to this day, are themselves warriors, in the truest sense.

 

As I mentioned briefly in the review, mental health struggles unfortunately run very deep in my family (like with a lot of us) I haven't escaped it, but so far I feel like I've had a slightly luckier escape (If you can call constant neuroticism, feeling anxious and paranoid people hate you when they don't, a lucky escape)   than some in my family.

 

My poor Grandfather (who died before I was born, and who I've only ever heard positive things about) suffered from Psychosis and to be more specific, we think possibly schizo-affective disorder (he first had a huge breakdown in the mid 70's, so whether he'd be diagnosed differently now we can't be sure). The thing is, I'm fairly sure I know what it was that triggered that in him. After experiencing Hellblade, I felt like I understood him so much more. It's five days on from me completing the game and I still can't quite shake that side of it. Part of me wants to recommend it to my Dad, but I think if he got the same emotional response I did from it, he'd find it so devastating, and I don't know that I'd want him to feel like that either. 

 

There is a positive we can all take away from Hellblade though, and without sounding too much like I'm on a plinth preaching. We should all try and remember that we live in an age where it is okay to talk about our problems, to find help, and to know that you can and will be listened to. Something that I'm so grateful for.

 

Thanks so much for hosting another wonderful event @Beyondthegrave07 - I'm just really gutted because of some awful things out of my control, I didn't manage to contribute more than once to this wonderful event. 

 

I appreciate the efforts of every single one of you that did though. I've read all of them, and it's been a pleasure to share a tiny bit of my own story with you all too. 

 

Edited May 31, 2022 by rjkclarke

[TimeLordCrow13y]

So, this month became quite chaotic (in a good way) half-way through (decided this month was the best time to go on a cross-country road trip my family and I had been discussing for awhile) and slowly found out upon returning a few days ago that I wasn't going to be able to get everything done that I'd planned to do for the month gaming-wise. So, I wasn't able to play my bonus game, though I have picked it up. And I decided against Pinstripe for my main game because it has a no death run trophy-and I didn't want to put that much pressure on myself to complete it in roughly 24 hours. I really wanted to play Pinstripe due to the lower completion percentage, but I'm just happy I managed to finish a game for the event without messing up any of my planned milestones.

 

So, feeling like I needed something relaxing, after failing at my initial plans for the month, I went with Abzû. And I'm very glad I did. It's a beautiful, largely peaceful (more on that in the spoilers below) game that seemed like a combination of Journey & Endless Ocean for the Wii (two games I love) with a dash of Okami (a game I haven't played in full-yet). It definitely relaxed me and seeing as I got it for free (when Playstation gave out several games free of charge at the height of the pandemic), I plan to pick up a physical copy because I really did love it and want to play it again in the future. I have a weakness for any underwater diving games (I hope to get a license to scuba dive one day myself), so this game was a real treat to play! That being said, I went into this game almost completely blind, and I wasn't expecting the somewhat dark turn half-way through. Spoilers hidden (for chapter 4 and beyond) below:

Spoiler

The fourth and fifth chapter with all the mines was something I did not expect from a game I'd always heard described as "Zen-like." Those chapters were not relaxing at all, and the section in the fourth or fifth chapter where your character is swimming through all the mines made me anxious-I didn't know if it was possible to die to them-I'm assuming after completing the game that it isn't. Still put me on edge though. I have a feeling the mines might represent destruction of the oceans by humanity within the world of the game (and possibly be a critique of that phenomenon in our own world)-that was what I personally took from it, at least. Also, I have to say I commend the game for actually making me feel something other than fear and strong dislike towards a great white shark. I love almost all animals, but, living in the USA, and having been to the beach countless times, I've heard way too many horror stories about people being brutally maimed by them. So for a game to make me feel a kinship of sorts with one (and feel sad when it died-and happy when it was somehow brought back by the main character...I think) is a great achievement in my opinion. I still want to avoid them IRL (for obvious reasons), but I do now feel an urge to research more about them.

 

All that being said, I think Abzû was a great game to play for this event (though I'm kind of mad at myself now that I didn't play it earlier, due to enjoying it so much), and I'm happy I did manage to finish this game for the event, It definitely decreased my gaming-related anxiety about things not going to plan! Who knows, I might even save at least one of the other games I was planning to play for the event next year (assuming there will be a third event). My thanks to @Beyondthegrave07 for hosting the event again, and to everyone else who has participated, donated or contributed art for the badges!

Edited May 31, 2022 by TimeLordCrow13y

[Beyondthegrave07]

6 hours ago, IntroPhenom said:

 

I finished. Good thing the universe threw me a bone in the form of 24 additional hours to complete my game. (Spent all last night/this morning thinking today was 01 JUNE.)

 

Potential minor spoilers ahead.

 

To sum up my experience with LIS, I'll repeat the popular quote from one of the earlier Spiderman movies: With great power comes great responsibility. Or, in the case of LIS, you can select the second option and ride off into the sunset like nothing ever happened! 

 

Poor Max has a gift, and it's one that toys with her emotions and makes her second guess every move she makes. She thinks she knows what to do and makes decisions, but then learns she didn't have a clue. Resonates easily with me and I'd guess most everyone else on planet Earth. 

 

The social media aspect comes in the form of online bullying. My generation missed this, as the internet was a young spiderling in a confusing web when I was in high school, but the ideas presented in LIS are instantly believable and hit hard. I would have hated to be a kid enrobed by the internet/social media. I see no way for that to be healthy. 

 

All in all, LIS is a pretty sad game. Very well done, very enjoyable to play, great story, superb voice acting, all that. As long as you don't mind a heaping spoonful of reality with your Lucky Charms, there's no reason not to play it. 

Yeah, I couldn't imagine growing up as a kid in this day in age where everything is so wild on social media and where people scrutinize you for anything and everything you do. Too much negativity for me. Definitely is mentally draining to keep up with. I think this game is a bit hyperbole on how it is growing up in today's society, but I don't think its that far off the mark.

 

5 hours ago, rjkclarke said:

I didn't manage to get a bonus game ticked off, which is a shame.

 

But I did manage to play through Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice. Funnily enough, it turns out both @Crispy_Oglop and I had a similarly emotionally draining experience playing this. Thank you for sharing that story you did by the way, that took a whole lot of courage, and I respect the hell out of the fact you felt comfortable sharing it.

 

 I really do think Hellblade is one of those fantastic experiences that are so worthy of your time. It turns out an event like this was the perfect time to play it. I'll post both my review of it (I'll chuck it in spoiler tags though, because it's loooooooooooooong... I don't spoil any of the story in the review, so it is safe to read,) but I'll write something a little more focused on the mental health aspect of it below that about how some of it directly affected me, and part of why it resonated with me so much. More than I ever expected it to, I can say that much. 

 

The Review

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

To call Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice an experience is quite frankly an understatement. Let’s get this out of the way first; this game really isn’t for everyone. Even taking its shorter length and limited gameplay out of the equation entirely – it really does ask a whole lot from you as a player on an emotional level. The line “I learnt the hard way.... a life without loss, is one without love” resonated with me so much more than I wanted it to. That REALLY hurt!

 

That being said – I think Hellblade Senua’s Sacrifice, is so worth peoples time, as both a game, and as an experience overall. You notice, I keep using the word experience? Mainly because there’s a little part of me that doesn’t quite feel comfortable saying “I had a wonderful time with this” or words to that effect.

There’s an almost guilty feeling, that goes part and parcel with why I feel a little anxious about saying I enjoyed it. As if you’re enjoying someone’s suffering. So I’ll just make it very clear, I have very little negative to say about the game, but before I get ahead of myself too much, let’s get into this review.

 

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice is an Action Adventure game, developed and published by Ninja Theory, with its PS4 release coming all the way back in 2017. You take the role of Senua, a young female Warrior, battling your way through Helheim, in a quest to save the soul of your beloved.

 

Yes, admittedly, that is an incredibly brief and vague description of the story. I’ll discuss some elements of the story, sure, but this will still be spoiler free. If you’ve played it, you’ll almost certainly know what I’m talking about though. I think anyone who is able to experience (that word again) this beautifully bleak, yet, so very powerful story unfold, whilst knowing as few spoilers as possible, they absolutely should!

 

Senua herself – suffers from psychosis, or in her own words, a curse, or “The Darkness.” When you see a job title in the credits like “Mental Health Supervisor” or words to that effect, it was reassuring to know that the game was as well researched as it was. That did not go unnoticed or unappreciated on my part.

 

I have a little bit of a personal stake in my experience of this game, as mental health issues (I hate that descriptor) run fairly deep in my family, it plagues a fair few of us in various ways (myself included). My Grandfather suffered from Psychosis too, although from what I’m led to believe, not quite in the same way Senua does, yet still quite crippling and haunted him for many years of his life. A selfish part of me, really hopes that mental health struggles don’t manifest themselves within me, any worse than it already has done in some areas.

 

I had read in a few places about how limited the gameplay is in Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice, before playing it. To be perfectly honest – I think this is a wholly unfair criticism. Whilst on a surface level, there is very little in Hellblade that quite reinvents the wheel gameplay wise, I’m not quite sure it should either. Yes, you could argue the combat is a little basic, but it is functional, smooth and quite satisfying once you get a sense for parry timing.

 

There were parts of the game where I found myself genuinely questioning whether there was any real point to the combat. However, I’m going to fall back to the Douglas Adams quote I love so much of “I’d rather be happy, than right, any day.”

 

Take it from me, there is a point to the combat – from a narrative and thematic perspective, this game would absolutely suffer without it, and part of its core message would be so much less impactful.  The more you think about it, the more it works. Even down to the visual elements to it. Each defeated enemy doesn’t visibly die, they just dissipate. It seems like a small thing at first, but this game directly deals with the impact of failing mental health upon a person. Those demons you battle momentarily disappearing, only to reappear further on, stronger and more powerful, is by its very nature, an incredibly potent metaphor. Unfortunately, it’s a crushingly sad one too. No matter how hard you fight against The Darkness, unfortunately sometimes it always finds a way to come back.  It’s painful, it’s so thought provoking, but it is brilliant.  

 

I’ve even heard the words redundant used when describing Hellblade’s puzzles – redundant is a word I don’t think I’d ever dream of using when it comes to Hellblade’s puzzles. Did they even play the same game? Sure, I could probably concede that they aren’t particularly challenging, but redundant is quite frankly ludicrous. For those that might not be aware, I am very much a puzzle game fan, and, yes, as I alluded to, they aren’t particularly challenging, but they are good. Instead of dwelling on one type, they tend to mix it up, with many different types of puzzle, or at the very least add a new variation to one you might have already seen.

They’re versatile, varied and they’re almost always integrated in a way which marries incredibly well with the narrative. One puzzle in particular I’ll be discussing in greater detail soon.  Personally, I think, had the puzzles been slightly more challenging, or obtuse, the experience as a whole would suffer substantially as a result, instead of streamlining it.

 

There’s a section of gameplay which is not strictly a puzzle, but it is a fascinating one to play nevertheless. The Blindness Shard Trial – I must say it was my personal favourite. You’re tasked with navigating almost complete darkness, with only a voice as your guide. It is one of the most perfect examples of how the visual (or lack thereof) and audio elements combine to form such a memorable part of the experience. It makes you as a player; hypersensitive to every individual noise and every tiny sliver of vision you’re afforded. It’s one of the finest examples in the game of how synchronised you sometimes feel with Senua’s actions. That slight nagging doubt of “do you trust the voice?” It works incredibly well. I also thought the section of the game involving Valravyn (God of Illusion) were very well designed, the use of environmental manipulation puzzles were rather satisfying to unravel

 

This leads me onto something. Instead of discussing Hellblade’s audio and visual elements separately, in this games case it feels best to discuss them in tandem, as they complement each other to a startlingly powerful extent. There are so many instances during your journey (yes I’m calling it that) through Hellblade, where the audio and visual elements simply, would not work without the other there to synergise with it in a near perfect way.

 

As a by-product of Senua’s psychosis, she is constantly plagued by voices inside her head. She refers to them as furies, but those are not the only voices. Some of those voices are warm, comforting or encouraging. It’s very bittersweet the way the game explores this aspect. I’ll inject a little of myself here, this bit really got under my skin a little. I have never heard voices in my head (lucky me), but I can very much empathise with that constant doubt in your mind, that you can’t do something, or you simply shouldn’t do something, or you aren’t good enough to do something. Poor Senua has that, yet amplified by an unfortunately great amount. It’s uncomfortable, and it’s relentless, but it’s also, absolutely brilliant.  

 

There is something very specific in Hellblade that I am eternally grateful for – and to some it might not seem like a worthy talking point, but I think it is. That is, that I’m so very glad that Senua is not conventionally attractive – I’m not suggesting she’s ugly either, she isn’t, not at all. I have a feeling that the developers probably were aware that if she was incredibly attractive, or indeed overly sexualised, then people might feel sympathy for – what they might deem, the wrong reasons. Instead they choose to tell her story in a way that paints her as incredibly strong and endearing despite, her obvious struggles, what she looks like is ultimately not that relevant, but in a good way.

 

An interesting facet of Hellblade, is its ability to never quite let the player feel at ease. It’s realised extraordinarily well in places. The developers really ran with the notion of making you as a player confront something you might not personally be comfortable with. This is something that I wholeheartedly can respect. It unashamedly presents mental health struggles in the cold light of day, and the horrific way it can manifest itself in some people, yet gives you as a player enough space to process what’s going on. It might not seem like much initially, but the more I think about it, the more I feel that Hellblade is paced tremendously.

It’s a clever touch, the way in which you learn a story revelation, and then usually have a section where you’re purely moving from place to place.  This allows you the time to be able to reflect on everything that has just transpired. When that’s coupled with the excellent sound design, it leads to something very impressive.  

 

I’d be hesitant to say that Hellblade is a cinematic game – I feel like that would be misleading, it has an explicit focus on storytelling, and cutscenes, sure, but it very much is a game, it leans very hard into the player interactivity that uniquely affords. They want you to think, and they want you to feel. It’s very clever, as the writing and direction team use this to great effect. What they do incredibly well is use cinematic techniques to enhance the game, and the story as a whole. The use of the camera itself is done particularly well. Sometimes you have control, and sometimes you don’t.  

 

Having the camera directly behind Senua, yet at a slight distance was a deliberate element that I thought was fantastic. For me, there were times during my time with Hellblade, where I thought my mere presence as a player was an intrusion upon something. I can only surmise that this was deliberate intent from Ninja Theory. It’s an incredibly subtle and brilliantly unconventional use of film-making techniques. On occasion, Senua will look directly at the camera, not slightly to the side of it, not slightly past it, straight into it. As if she’s staring straight at you, as if she’s addressing you directly. It gave me such an odd feeling, as if I was intruding on a very personal moment, yet it gave me a pang of guilt. The frightened and uncertain look in her face, just compounds that feeling. It’s exactly what I meant earlier, about how the audio and visual elements of Hellblade synergise so fantastically well together.   

 

Visually, Hellblade is a real treat. The graphical fidelity is absolutely spectacular, even on a basic launch PS4, which mine is. It’s a game that very much deserves to have some powerhouse graphical capabilities to back up the absolutely genius (yes I said it) artistic design that was painstakingly crafted for this game.

 

When I say painstakingly, I mean it too. Every little thing has a point, and a purpose. Littered throughout the game are so many reoccurring and horrific sights that really do make you double take on occasion. I thought it was rather inspired, the way that the game forces you to directly confront a lot of the imagery. You don’t see it once then look away, you’re forced to see it multiple times, and you, as a player are presented with no choice but to consider why you might be seeing exactly what you’re seeing.

 

I am genuinely not using hyperbole here, I honestly believe Hellblade has some of the very best sound design that I have ever encountered in a video game. I would love to be able to see the timeline, of all the soundscapes that were created for this game. They must have looked breathtaking, even the smallest soundscapes can look like a city skyline of waveforms. The amount of effort that must have gone into this aspect of the game alone is incredible. My mole people (sound designers) brethren and sisteren (is that a word? It is now) absolutely did themselves proud with the sheer scale of the sound design found within this game, and this is saying nothing of the incredibly crisp quality of it. Not only is the foley work spectacular, the ways the voices in Senua’s head are handled are terrific. It’s the relentlessness of them, that do such a tremendous job of making you question how Senua is even able to move forward at times, especially when coupled with how subtly lucid and peaceful the moments where she hears a friendlier voices tend to be.

 

I am going to play this game in the future with a good set of headphones. I owe it to myself, as I really feel as if it would enhance an already fantastic game even further. I suspect it could be twice as harrowing for the voices to sound like they were in my own head. I can do nothing but appreciate the incredible ambition for a relatively small development team to put as much focus as they did on just sound. Take it from me though; it’s still incredibly impactful even through surround sound.

 

Recording binaural audio (replicating as close as possible to what the human ear would hear) is tricky, even with really good equipment.  I’ve tried making pseudo- binaural audio myself, using two microphones, and it’s a process that requires a lot of patience, yet it’s very intriguing. I’ll leave a link to an interesting article about it, if anyone wants to read further about the process (I don’t blame you, if you don’t, it’s bad enough probably having to hear me gush about it). As a massive sound geek myself, I was pretty blown away by how breathtakingly good this game’s sound is on an auditory level.

 

All those fantastic individual elements are brilliantly complimented by a real powerhouse soundtrack, provided by David Garcia and Andy La Plegua. Using the term emotional rollercoaster feels a little inappropriate given the subject matter, but the way in which the soundtrack  can fluctuate between almost euphorically purposeful and powerful, to mournful sadness, does a wonderful job of encapsulating the constant inner battle that is unfortunately experienced by Senua and so many others like her. The song that plays over the credits, Illusion by VNV Nation, absolutely got to me. It has a really dull beat to it, but what that dull beat does, is make you really pay attention to the lyrics, which then make you think about everything you’ve just experienced. It’s something that Transistor also did in such an effective way.

 

It would be wrong of me not to mention how spectacularly the game handles motion capture and voice acting, another near perfect marriage of the audio and visual. To me the thing that makes it so very impressive, is that Melina Juergens (Senua) hadn’t voice acted or performed motion capture before taking the role. Take a second or two to get your head around that if you’ve played the game.

She is clearly an abundantly talented lady. She manages to voice act incredibly well, giving a layered performance where she does such a nuanced job of displaying the anguish, pain and suffering that has permeated Senua’s entire being for years and years. It has a real pay off too, when so much of that long-caged emotion is just set free almost instantaneously.

Juergens also motion captures Senua’s facial expressions brilliantly. Whether she’s scared, devastated, pained or occasionally quite lucid and euphoric, she absolutely excels at getting you, the player, to fully understand where Senua is at mentally.

 

Do I recommend Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice? Yes I do, I really do! The thing is, I’m very aware this game wouldn’t be for everyone, or something everyone could universally enjoy. I strongly feel like this isn’t a game where trophies should be the motivator. Yes, they’re simple and pretty easy, but if that’s all you’re interested in, I don’t think you’re likely to experience the game the way the developers would like you to.  

I think it’s very much something people should play just as a means to further understand peoples struggles with mental health, perhaps even your own. However, it can be brutal, and it probably won’t be a joyous experience.  Just like counselling, you have to go into the process with your mind fairly open. I absolutely love the fact that video games have evolved to the point where they can tell a story like this.

 

The Mental Health Side of Hellblade

 

As Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice directly deals with themes of both psychosis and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, knowing that going into it, you're almost guaranteed a thought provoking time. The combination of both camera and sound, do such a brutally realistic job of really letting the player know what it must be like to live in Senua's head. It feels intrusive at times, but when you look into how much research went into this aspect of it, it fills me with such sadness to know how many people suffered, and continue to suffer like that.

 

Something which I'm really glad of, however harrowing it might be in Hellblade's case, is how open and honest the game is regarding mental health. Some games (and other forms of media too, come to that) treat it as some simple thing you can just wash away if you're suddenly granted some happiness or hope, or medication even. Unfortunately, things don't quite work that way.

 

Hellblade confronts you head on with both the repercussions of other people outside of your control directly affecting your mental health, and how exactly those feelings can manifest themselves for an unbearably long time.  I really appreciated how honest it was in this regard.

 

The games combat itself is such a near perfect analogy for the eternal struggle that some people will unfortunately always have with their mental health. I found it such a crushingly sad realisation the more I thought about it, but I couldn't help but be a little bit bowled over by how cleverly it was implemented. 

I truly hope that there are people that played this game, that felt a little less alone, frightened or lost as a result of playing this.

 

Whether you're fighting an ongoing battle with mental health issues, or have done (I still hate that description) to even the smallest degree, then I find it very hard to believe you won't find elements of this game that resonate with you on an emotional level. However emotionally draining this game might be, I feel like it's such a necessary one for so many people to further understand the real fight that so many people have to endure on a daily basis. 

 

Senua herself being a warrior is such a beautifully apt thing for her character - because anyone that has to endure the things she, and so many have to,even to this day, are themselves warriors, in the truest sense.

 

As I mentioned briefly in the review, mental health struggles unfortunately run very deep in my family (like with a lot of us) I haven't escaped it, but so far I feel like I've had a slightly luckier escape (If you can call constant neuroticism, feeling anxious and paranoid people hate you when they don't, a lucky escape)   than some in my family.

 

My poor Grandfather (who died before I was born, and who I've only ever heard positive things about) suffered from Psychosis and to be more specific, we think possibly schizo-affective disorder (he first had a huge breakdown in the mid 70's, so whether he'd be diagnosed differently now we can't be sure). The thing is, I'm fairly sure I know what it was that triggered that in him. After experiencing Hellblade, I felt like I understood him so much more. It's five days on from me completing the game and I still can't quite shake that side of it. Part of me wants to recommend it to my Dad, but I think if he got the same emotional response I did from it, he'd find it so devastating, and I don't know that I'd want him to feel like that either. 

 

There is a positive we can all take away from Hellblade though, and without sounding too much like I'm on a plinth preaching. We should all try and remember that we live in an age where it is okay to talk about our problems, to find help, and to know that you can and will be listened to. Something that I'm so grateful for.

 

Thanks so much for hosting another wonderful event @Beyondthegrave07 - I'm just really gutted because of some awful things out of my control, I didn't manage to contribute more than once to this wonderful event. 

 

I appreciate the efforts of every single one of you that did though. I've read all of them, and it's been a pleasure to share a tiny bit of my own story with you all too. 

 

I noticed you also finished Resident Evil 4 in may which would count as your bonus badge as communication with Leon and the government to save the President's daughter is imperative to the plot.... It'll raise your contribution a bit if you want to submit it (hint, hint, "Yes, that sounds great! Good catch ")

 

4 hours ago, TimeLordCrow13y said:

So, this month became quite chaotic (in a good way) half-way through (decided this month was the best time to go on a cross-country road trip my family and I had been discussing for awhile) and slowly found out upon returning a few days ago that I wasn't going to be able to get everything done that I'd planned to do for the month gaming-wise. So, I wasn't able to play my bonus game, though I have picked it up. And I decided against Pinstripe for my main game because it has a no death run trophy-and I didn't want to put that much pressure on myself to complete it in roughly 24 hours. I really wanted to play Pinstripe due to the lower completion percentage, but I'm just happy I managed to finish a game for the event without messing up any of my planned milestones.

 

So, feeling like I needed something relaxing, after failing at my initial plans for the month, I went with Abzû. And I'm very glad I did. It's a beautiful, largely peaceful (more on that in the spoilers below) game that seemed like a combination of Journey & Endless Ocean for the Wii (two games I love) with a dash of Okami (a game I haven't played in full-yet). It definitely relaxed me and seeing as I got it for free (when Playstation gave out several games free of charge at the height of the pandemic), I plan to pick up a physical copy because I really did love it and want to play it again in the future. I have a weakness for any underwater diving games (I hope to get a license to scuba dive one day myself), so this game was a real treat to play! That being said, I went into this game almost completely blind, and I wasn't expecting the somewhat dark turn half-way through. Spoilers hidden (for chapter 4 and beyond) below:

  Reveal hidden contents

The fourth and fifth chapter with all the mines was something I did not expect from a game I'd always heard described as "Zen-like." Those chapters were not relaxing at all, and the section in the fourth or fifth chapter where your character is swimming through all the mines made me anxious-I didn't know if it was possible to die to them-I'm assuming after completing the game that it isn't. Still put me on edge though. I have a feeling the mines might represent destruction of the oceans by humanity within the world of the game (and possibly be a critique of that phenomenon in our own world)-that was what I personally took from it, at least. Also, I have to say I commend the game for actually making me feel something other than fear and strong dislike towards a great white shark. I love almost all animals, but, living in the USA, and having been to the beach countless times, I've heard way too many horror stories about people being brutally maimed by them. So for a game to make me feel a kinship of sorts with one (and feel sad when it died-and happy when it was somehow brought back by the main character...I think) is a great achievement in my opinion. I still want to avoid them IRL (for obvious reasons), but I do now feel an urge to research more about them.

 

All that being said, I think Abzû was a great game to play for this event (though I'm kind of mad at myself now that I didn't play it earlier, due to enjoying it so much), and I'm happy I did manage to finish this game for the event, It definitely decreased my gaming-related anxiety about things not going to plan! Who knows, I might even save at least one of the other games I was planning to play for the event next year (assuming there will be a third event). My thanks to @Beyondthegrave07 for hosting the event again, and to everyone else who has participated, donated or contributed art for the badges!

Honestly, I've been saving Abzu for either a rainy day or for an event. I heard it's a great game to relax to like Journey and Journey is one of my favorite PS3 games. One of the few games that I played several times on the PS3 for fun with others just to unwind.

 

 

I apologize for not being the best host and responding to everyone like I tried to do last year, but I didn't expect to be so busy with work this month. I hope everyone who participated still had fun reading reviews and people's perspectives. I was a bit disappointed with the drop off in participation this year, but I partially believe that's my fault for not staying on top of everything. Still really happy to see the final push the past few days so thank you for that!

 

I'll give any stragglers tagged in the OP until Thursday/Friday to submit their games. I'll submit it to my badge maker then!

[GuitaristZag]

@Beyondthegrave07 So, heres said explanation.

This month, I platted Guilty Gear Strive- twice, actually, I liked it so much. 

 

When COVID hit, I basically lived in total Isolation for several months, leading into the following school year, where I was also very isolated. This took a massive toll on my mental health, and basically put me in a constant state of paranoia and anxiety. Long story short, I was diagnosed with OCD, and prescribed zoloft. The obsessions got better. However, what I didn't realize at the time was that the Zoloft was actively changing my temperament, and making me very irritable and angry, which only got worse as the dosage continued to be raised. While I won't go into it too much, as A: It's personal, B: It's a long story, and C: It makes me feel really guilty and mad at myself, I basically changed into a really angry and rude person, eventually leading to my partner of nearly two years breaking up with me last October, in hindsight, pretty justifiably. Hopefully I can make things right eventually, if they want to talk someday. Regardless, I digress. What's important is that last fall, unlike Fall of 2020, I had an amazing roommate, and we regularly played games together. One game we really enjoyed playing was Strive. When the breakup occurred, I was in a really really bad place, but what I do remember is playing hours upon hours of Strive with her, and having an incredible time, too focused on the game, listening to music, and making jokes to think about the breakup, or any other dark thoughts. In a weird way, along with my roommate and other support, a random anime fighting game really really really helped me through an absolutely awful time in my life, and it wasn't briefly either, we played constantly well after I was doing better- when I last checked after moving out for the summer, we had poured about 120 hours of matches in over the course of the school year. Even last night, we were texting back and forth, talking trash in anticipation of playing more next semester. I honestly don't think I'd be doing anywhere as stable as I were now without this game, as not only is everything I mentioned previously true, but one of the first nights of living together, we played Strive, so it was one of the first moments of bonding I had with her, leading to an incredibly close friendship that helped me at my worst, and even today. 

 

Anyhow, I never platted it until just this month, as stage 9 Nagoriyuki was the bane of my existence, however, I finally succeeded, and was so excited, I did it all over again on the 5. 

 

For an update, without getting too personal, following the breakup, I gradually weaned off the zoloft, and am totally off it, with no plans to ever resume treatment. Instead, I have resumed taking the ADHD medication I took all thru my life until freshman year of college, and am in many ways, doing much better. I'm far from in a state of total happiness, but I'm better, and I will likely eventually seek treatment for my suspected depression as well. 

 

All this to say that mental health is an incredibly real issue, ESPECIALLY in the age of COVID, and that you should absolutely get proper health, yet also, I encourage anybody prescribed a new medication to ask others to monitor and hold them accountable so as to not lose sight of themselves. Treatment helps, you just gotta be careful it's the right one for you. You're not alone, and things are gonna work out. I'm basically just rambling and talking out my ass at this point, so I'll try to wrap it up.

 

If something helps you, let it. No matter how silly it seems. It could be a roommate, music, dark humor, or a 2D anime fighting masterpiece. For me, it was all of them, and that's why as unconventional as it may be, there's no game more connected to mental health in my personal life than Guilty Gear Strive. 

 

 

Except for Uncharted 3 which gave me near panic attacks from those stupid spiders. 

8 hours ago, AK-1138 said:

Okay, so... for reasons, I've been led to renege on my pledge to play Celeste. It just ended up being pushed further and further back, and I decided not to rush the experience. I'm generally trying to avoid any manner of gaming motivated largely by compulsion these days, so you can call that a victory for my own mental health, I guess.

 

...I did manage to finish Colors Is Strange: True Life, though. Not the height of the series, but good in its own right. Helps not to have actively dislikeable primary characters *COUGHBEFORETHESTORMCOUGH*. Its event-relevant (relevent?) themes of mental complexity just so happened to prove its biggest strength.

 

Without spoiling too much, the writing does an admirable job in presenting a variety of nuanced emotional states, especially when it comes to the myriad manifestations of survivor's guilt. Even principally good characters can surprise you with moments of "bad" thoughts or actions, but ones that tend to make sense from their perspective, at least. Very true to life, indeed.

 

To say nothing of the care and thoughtfulness with which the game treats other heavy subject matter like the weight of aspiration, the dissolution of a family unit, and our complicated codependence with unscrupulous corporations. The supernatural elements never get in the way of the game's very grounded ruminations on human nature. Ultimately, there is very little judgment or moralizing to be found here, just... humanity, good and bad. Some elements of the main plotline feel either underdeveloped or rushed, but the smaller moments are the narrative's stronger aspect anyway. Definitely better for having played it.

 

I don't quite recall at present what this platinum does or doesn't qualify me for, but I'm glad I got to play some small part in the whole event. Now, I've got a thread to catch up with...

Screw it, I'm a Chloe Price/Before the Storm defender.

 

 

Controversy aside, congrats! I'm really looking forward to getting to this one, I loved the original and before the storm.

 

 

If you've played it, what did you think of 2?

 

Also, Celeste is a great time. Don't feel bad about using the accessibility options if you deem it necessary. I feel the last thing the developer would have wanted is stressed out players given the subject. Also, on that note, it's really cool to have a trans allegory in gaming media. 

[Beyondthegrave07]

1 hour ago, GuitaristZag said:

@Beyondthegrave07 So, heres said explanation.

This month, I platted Guilty Gear Strive- twice, actually, I liked it so much. 

 

When COVID hit, I basically lived in total Isolation for several months, leading into the following school year, where I was also very isolated. This took a massive toll on my mental health, and basically put me in a constant state of paranoia and anxiety. Long story short, I was diagnosed with OCD, and prescribed zoloft. The obsessions got better. However, what I didn't realize at the time was that the Zoloft was actively changing my temperament, and making me very irritable and angry, which only got worse as the dosage continued to be raised. While I won't go into it too much, as A: It's personal, B: It's a long story, and C: It makes me feel really guilty and mad at myself, I basically changed into a really angry and rude person, eventually leading to my partner of nearly two years breaking up with me last October, in hindsight, pretty justifiably. Hopefully I can make things right eventually, if they want to talk someday. Regardless, I digress. What's important is that last fall, unlike Fall of 2020, I had an amazing roommate, and we regularly played games together. One game we really enjoyed playing was Strive. When the breakup occurred, I was in a really really bad place, but what I do remember is playing hours upon hours of Strive with her, and having an incredible time, too focused on the game, listening to music, and making jokes to think about the breakup, or any other dark thoughts. In a weird way, along with my roommate and other support, a random anime fighting game really really really helped me through an absolutely awful time in my life, and it wasn't briefly either, we played constantly well after I was doing better- when I last checked after moving out for the summer, we had poured about 120 hours of matches in over the course of the school year. Even last night, we were texting back and forth, talking trash in anticipation of playing more next semester. I honestly don't think I'd be doing anywhere as stable as I were now without this game, as not only is everything I mentioned previously true, but one of the first nights of living together, we played Strive, so it was one of the first moments of bonding I had with her, leading to an incredibly close friendship that helped me at my worst, and even today. 

 

Anyhow, I never platted it until just this month, as stage 9 Nagoriyuki was the bane of my existence, however, I finally succeeded, and was so excited, I did it all over again on the 5. 

 

For an update, without getting too personal, following the breakup, I gradually weaned off the zoloft, and am totally off it, with no plans to ever resume treatment. Instead, I have resumed taking the ADHD medication I took all thru my life until freshman year of college, and am in many ways, doing much better. I'm far from in a state of total happiness, but I'm better, and I will likely eventually seek treatment for my suspected depression as well. 

 

All this to say that mental health is an incredibly real issue, ESPECIALLY in the age of COVID, and that you should absolutely get proper health, yet also, I encourage anybody prescribed a new medication to ask others to monitor and hold them accountable so as to not lose sight of themselves. Treatment helps, you just gotta be careful it's the right one for you. You're not alone, and things are gonna work out. I'm basically just rambling and talking out my ass at this point, so I'll try to wrap it up.

 

If something helps you, let it. No matter how silly it seems. It could be a roommate, music, dark humor, or a 2D anime fighting masterpiece. For me, it was all of them, and that's why as unconventional as it may be, there's no game more connected to mental health in my personal life than Guilty Gear Strive. 

 

 

Except for Uncharted 3 which gave me near panic attacks from those stupid spiders. 

Screw it, I'm a Chloe Price/Before the Storm defender.

After sharing something so personal and how this game personally helped you better your mental health, how could I possibly say no?  I'll count it!

 

Thank you for sharing this. I think a lot of people see video games as something we do to kill time or is just a nerdy hobby, but it can really help people through some darker times.

 

I think your story is a good example of why I make events like this... To show video games can be used as a different outlet and can have a bigger meaning in our lives. I want people to look at games from a different perspective, and your story is definitely proof that you can!

 

I hope other people take time to read this and understand why I accepted the submission. 

[GuitaristZag]

15 minutes ago, Beyondthegrave07 said:

After sharing something so personal and how this game personally helped you better your mental health, how could I possibly say no?  I'll count it!

 

Thank you for sharing this. I think a lot of people see video games as something we do to kill time or is just a nerdy hobby, but it can really help people through some darker times.

 

I think your story is a good example of why I make events like this... To show video games can be used as a different outlet and can have a bigger meaning in our lives. I want people to look at games from a different perspective, and your story is definitely proof that you can!

 

I hope other people take time to read this and understand why I accepted the submission. 

See I had to make it personal, because then you have no choice!

 

 

All kidding aside, thank you, and thank you for doing this event. You better believe I'll be in it next year too if it's a thing!

[Beyondthegrave07]

11 minutes ago, GuitaristZag said:

See I had to make it personal, because then you have no choice!

 

 

All kidding aside, thank you, and thank you for doing this event. You better believe I'll be in it next year too if it's a thing!

I was actually going to joke with you and ask if you used Happy Chaos to beat the Extreme route and say it doesn't count if it was yes.

 

Or... Or ask you what your top 3 tracks were in GGS and if Crawl wasn't one of them, it doesn't count either.

 

GGS is one of my favorite fighting games I've played in a long time. It put a smile on my face reading about the joy it brought you.

 

[GuitaristZag]

50 minutes ago, Beyondthegrave07 said:

I was actually going to joke with you and ask if you used Happy Chaos to beat the Extreme route and say it doesn't count if it was yes.

 

Or... Or ask you what your top 3 tracks were in GGS and if Crawl wasn't one of them, it doesn't count either.

 

GGS is one of my favorite fighting games I've played in a long time. It put a smile on my face reading about the joy it brought you.

 

I used Potemkin, but I'm probably most proficient as Sol and I-No. 

 

See, I need to do a deep dive into the soundtrack beyond just hearing the songs and going "Oh cool!" When I'm not focused on fighting. I'm a music major, so I prefer to be able to really hone in and focus on music, and as such, in high octane games like Guilty Gear, I more make a mental note to analyze the songs later rather than pay much attention at the moment. That said, from preliminary clips, I know I really like Chipp and Millia's themes, and that Smell of the Game is my all time most played track on Spotify. I also have watched the clip at the end of Dunkey's strive video where he sings the songs an unhealthy amount of times. "The JOKER song" "Society". That actually brings me to another point- part of the reason I haven't checked it out more heavily, is my roommate and I are planning to listen to the songs and trying to transcribe the lyrics by ear, as we've had multiple great occasions of laughing when we realized how inaccurate our lyrics were. Examples are, semi thanks to Dunkey, me genuine thinking "Fly like a tiger walk in the park" rather than "Fight like a tiger walk in the pyre", or her hearing "I'm a clown and fake" as opposed to "Armor-Clad Faith"

 

Side note to any outsiders reading this, listen to some of the songs, then read the lyrics. I guarantee you'll have similar stories, it's half the fun. 

 

 

Yeah! I was lukewarm on fighters before due to A: Not really having anybody to play with and B: Not liking the timesink to get good and string combos, but strive is so ridiculously fun and genuinely quite accessible, with a super high skill ceiling. We've already picked up several other Fighters, Ultimax, Under Night in Birth, Nick All Stars, FighterZ, etc, and I've preordered DNF duel- we're just way too busy with guilty gear, to the point of having a spreadsheet we are working thru that has us do every possible character match up. God help us with the fact there's also a season pass 2 coming out....

[rjkclarke]

On 01/06/2022 at 1:15 AM, Beyondthegrave07 said:

I noticed you also finished Resident Evil 4 in may which would count as your bonus badge as communication with Leon and the government to save the President's daughter is imperative to the plot.... It'll raise your contribution a bit if you want to submit it (hint, hint, "Yes, that sounds great! Good catch ")

 

Actually that is an incredibly good catch... Good spot Mr Grave sir!

 

If you're willing to accept Resident Evil 4, as a bonus game then, I'm not going to say no ?. Very considerate of you considering I played Resident Evil 4 before I finished Hellblade. 

 

Do you need me to throw anything together in writing to make it more official? 

[Beyondthegrave07]

45 minutes ago, rjkclarke said:

 

Actually that is an incredibly good catch... Good spot Mr Grave sir!

 

If you're willing to accept Resident Evil 4, as a bonus game then, I'm not going to say no . Very considerate of you considering I played Resident Evil 4 before I finished Hellblade. 

 

Do you need me to throw anything together in writing to make it more official? 

Nope, you're all set!

[Beyondthegrave07]

I submitted the names for badges this morning. Sorry for the delay. In the end we had 27 participants earn a badge, 40 badges total (including the bonus), and the final total was $93.48 to be donated by myself and @Starrk_01 who both committed to the rarity-based scoring.. My plan is to round up and donate $100 again like I did last year so that'll be the total in case I missed anyone. If you left a response and don't see yourself updated in the OP, please let me know. It's been a busy, busy month after getting promoted at work, and it's very possible I missed someone trying to play catchup.

 

Despite the lower participation numbers, I'm glad to see that most people who signed up finished up their mental health game and enjoyed reading most of them (some I purposely skipped/skimmed because I still want to play the game, but read enough to know it qualified). Next year, I hope I can stay on top of it a little more and hopefully reel in more participants and have more people talking about mental health on the site and bring more awareness to us all.

[AJ_Radio]

I may join this event if I have time. But I seldom keep up with making textbook responses on games I’m doing or have done because I tend to be a bit lazy. 
 

Based on the responses here, including one earlier regarding COVID-19, one of the best things you can do is turn off the television. 
 

After COVID-19 became another political discussion in my area I decided I was no longer going to bother with the media. I’ve seen enough crap to last a life time. 
 

But now at this point, the media is being bogged down by the January 6th attack on the Capitol. Once you finally distance yourself away from the media it becomes very hard to tolerate. It was getting to the point where the media was beginning to affect my mental health. 
 

I’m so tired of it. Someone here earlier suggested to seek treatment, but unfortunately not all of us have a fair amount of disposable income to use. 
 

There was a time when I played video games purely to have fun while looking forward to the latest titles coming out. Nowadays I play video games entirely for escapism, because the media at least here in the United States has been truly depressing for me to watch. 
 

I now bury my head in the sand every now and then and dwell in the past for a few hours to help keep me sane. 
 

Turn off the television and delete those big news apps from your smartphone. Trust me that helps a lot. Maybe block off some entertainment venues if you can. I ditched Netflix due to their policies and use of politics, I feel all the better for getting rid of them.

 

Hope you all stay safe and sane.

Edited June 17, 2022 by AJ_Radio
additional input

[Beyondthegrave07]

Btw, I'm going to reach out to my badge maker this weekend and hopefully get an ETA on them. I know they are busy with other things, but hope to still have badges soon!

[Im2Fast_4U]

On 6/17/2022 at 0:19 AM, Beyondthegrave07 said:

Btw, I'm going to reach out to my badge maker this weekend and hopefully get an ETA on them. I know they are busy with other things, but hope to still have badges soon!

Any update? No rush on them, just curious!

[Beyondthegrave07]

1 hour ago, Im2Fast_4U said:

Any update? No rush on them, just curious!

Yeah, I got a couple of samples over the weekend. The main badge is pretty much already designed and ready. Still working on the bonus badge design a little, but it's coming along.

 

I know it's already almost been a month, but I promise, we have not abandoned them! I'm not one to push someone to crank out badges, especially when it's a volunteer job for them! ?

 

If I don't here anything this weekend, I'll at least give everyone a sneak on what's being worked on so no one thinks I'm talking out my ass, haha.

[Jeanolt]

Sorry, I couldn't finish the game. I was a bit lost last month and my mental health worsened a lot, along with study/responsabilities. I'm doing better now but in the end I didn't begin it because of my health, so at least I'm on topic :).

Thank you beyond for keeping the talk about the topic. It's really important to know that many people struggle. Not every disease or injury is visible, and people is unfair because of that. At least in this tiny space we can safely talk about that and things we like (videogames!). Remember, you are not alone, there's always a way out and I'm glad someone helped me when I needed it. Help is coming your way.

 

I promise I will buy my game in time and comeback next year for the end of the most waited trilogy, Trophies for Mental Health III?

[Sylvanticore]

I was wondering if by chance there was any update on the badges for the event? it has been some time now, I noticed that there would be a sneak peak at the badges so wondering if that was going to still happen?

Edited July 8, 2022 by Sylvanticore

[Beyondthegrave07]

53 minutes ago, Sylvanticore said:

I was wondering if by chance there was any update on the badges for the event? it has been some time now, I noticed that there would be a sneak peak at the badges so wondering if that was going to still happen?

Sorry, totally forgot about the sneak peek. I'll follow up with @ixxiion this weekend to see if these are going to get finished.

 

 

This was the one still being worked on.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 8, 2022 by Beyondthegrave07

[Sylvanticore]

Love it! They look great

[GuitaristZag]

Amazing!

[Im2Fast_4U]

On 7/8/2022 at 11:39 AM, Beyondthegrave07 said:

Sorry, totally forgot about the sneak peek. I'll follow up with @ixxiion this weekend to see if these are going to get finished.

Bump on badges

[Beyondthegrave07]

2 minutes ago, Im2Fast_4U said:

Bump on badges

I've been trying to reach out to them for a while, and I finally spoke to the badge maker today. In short, they've been going through a lot lately being in and out of the hospital, dealing with stress, and such so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt here.

 

They said they were still going to do it, and I gave them another list of names... I think at this point, I should have probably just made them myself, but hopefully, the final product of what's to come will be waaay better than what I could do in MS paint. Lol. I might go ahead and make some backup badges if it's going to take a significant amount of time as it's almost been two months. 

 

Feel kinda bad about the whole situation tbh. 

[Beyondthegrave07]

FYI, I got the badges yesterday and downloaded them to my computer today (holy shit was that file big!)

 

It may take a bit to upload them all to imgur, but I plan to do that tomorrow evening after work. Was originally going to do it tonight, but it took a bit longer for my computer to download than expected.

 

I should have them all out by the end of the week, but I may break it up a bit so I might do some tomorrow, some Thursday, and the rest of them on Friday. We'll see how much of a hassle it is to post them.

 

Again, I'm sorry for the wait! I really do feel bad about making everyone wait... Hope everyone can bear with me a bit longer the next few days.