Ratalaika Review: Revived, Retooled, Rebooted, Revengeance, Ret-cetera

[Super-Fly Spider-Guy]

About 2 years ago when I last felt a massive pull to play my Vita, I went and bought a bunch of Ratalaika Games for it as they were the only people still pumping stuff out for the ol' guy. Well, it was probs a bit over 2 years, idk, it went on for a while, then I ended up smashing out 30 plats in the month of June that year and that was pretty fun. I rambled a lot more and arguably better back then (https://forum.psnprofiles.com/topic/92308-ratalaika-review/) about it all, but now I've played a bunch load more of their games and am gonna try to quote unquote review them in as quick as possible, in keeping with the style of their games. I'd also like it noted I meant to buy Super Destronaut 2 the other day while on sale but forgot and am v bummed. 

 

As I said at the start, last time I did this, I wanted to revive my Vita for a bit. This time, it was that too, but now my kiddo is almost 6 and a half and their games are actually really really good for kiddos. Mochi Mochi Boy was a favorite to play together. So with that in mind, "is the game likely to be fun to play with your kid" will be one of the "review" criteria going forward. There you go. As of June 5, 2022, all but "One Night Stand" and "Shadow of Loot Box" are cross buy with Vita for a double plat, though how long you can get that, who knows with how they're treating my boy.

 

 

36 FRAGMENTS OF MIDNIGHT

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: It's a 2D platformer where you go around an auto generated world full of traps and shit and you need to collect all 36 titular fragments and get out, the end.

Is it fun: Yeah, it's alright.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah sure, why not. 

Do I remember it: Yeah.

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah.

Bother with a guide or nah: Nope. One look at the list beforehand is all you need, die with X amount of them, die via X trap, all pretty basic stuff.
 

 

ACCESS DENIED

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Imagine one of those little fidget cube things, but the puzzles are obviously harder and you have to do like 36 or so of them.

Is it fun: At times.

Is the game fun with kiddos: If they enjoy thinking and puzzle solving, sure. Mine would throw the Vita instead.

Do I remember it: Not really, no.

Would I play if it had no plat: Nope.

Bother with a guide or nah: I'd go a guide.
 

 

BOUNCY BULLETS

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Your guy takes a bunch of acid, wakes up in a lovely high color world, does some light platforming and shoots the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men.

Is it fun: Yup.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yup.

Do I remember it: Yup.

Would I play if it had no plat: Yup. Burned through every level after after the plat a few times.

Bother with a guide or nah: Nah.
 

 

BUCKET KNIGHT

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Steamworld Dig but not as good and you don't dig but you shoot a bunch of guys and it's level based so it's really not Steamworld Dig, hey.

Is it fun: Yeah, it goes alright.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah, honestly it's pretty plat'able by a kiddo of 5/6

Do I remember it: Well, I had to Google it because I kept thinking Daggerhood, so, but then, turns out they look quite similar so, idk.

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah.

Bother with a guide or nah: I didn't.
 

 

CYBARIAN: THE TIME TRAVELLING WARRIOR

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: This game is great, fuck off.

Is it fun: Yes.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Would I play if it had no plat: Yes.

Bother with a guide or nah: Nah.
 

 

DAGGERHOOD

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Like Bucket Knight but you have to beat the clock, get 5 collectibles in every level, kill ♥s, race to finish, also a platformer.

Is it fun: Yes.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes, will give basic test of their patience and ability to time jumps and stuff with the dagger.

Do I remember it: Yeah

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah

Bother with a guide or nah: idk, you can, maybe for the kiddo, but there's really nothing that's not self explanatory in the trophy list
 

 

DEEP SPACE RUSH

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: As with Cybarian, "this game is great, fuck off"...it's an endless 2D platformer runner with a bunch of enemies and obstacles and you upgrade your gun and stuff, good times.

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah for sure, it's good bc all the trophies will come naturally so dying over and over is ideally not gonna be such a piss off for them.

Do I remember it: Yep.

Would I play if it had no plat: Eh, maybe, in a pinch, wouldn't pay more than $2 for it though.

Bother with a guide or nah: Nah.
 

 

FOOTBALL GAME

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Story driven platformer about a bloke who's mom killed his girlfriend or something I don't remember, it was a bit bonkers and I used a guide, this was just for the plat.

Is it fun: Probably if you like old timey story games, not really my bag though

Is the game fun with kiddos: I wouldn't

Do I remember it: Yes, but not in the way they'd like

Would I play if it had no plat: No.

Bother with a guide or nah:Guide up, motherfucker.
 

 

FOXYLAND

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Cute little 2D platformer where you're a fox doing platformer stuff, think you only had to beat world 2.

Is it fun: It's fine.

Is the game fun with kiddos: I think mine would get annoyed later on when you need X amount of special coins and have to go back, but prior to that, sure.

Do I remember it: Not particularly

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah

Bother with a guide or nah: You should be right without one
 

 

FOXYLAND 2

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Literally more of the same, but slightly prettier and refined, as all good sequels should be.

Is it fun: As above

Is the game fun with kiddos: As above

Do I remember it: I remember it for being weirdly harder but tbh could just be a dodgy memory

Would I play if it had no plat: As above

Bother with a guide or nah: As above
 

 

FULL BLAST

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Like Cybarian and Deep Space Rush, this game is great, fuck off...top down vertical shmup with lovely scrolling backgrounds, great physics, a decent level of challenge (re: fuck all if you get the powerups) and yeah, lovely time.

Is it fun: Can you not read?

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah for sure

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: $2 or less, absolutely would

Bother with a guide or nah: No guide needed
 

 

GRAVITY DUCK

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Remember that Gravity Guy game that despite never playing was everywhere and no you're thinking of the Jetpack Joyride powerup, well, that, but a duck, and it's level based.

Is it fun: Yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah

Do I remember it: Yeah

Would I play if it had no plat: $2 or less, you get it

Bother with a guide or nah: Nah
 

 

HEROES TRIALS

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: I don't remember it lol, I'm a great reviewer, think it was like a top down Zelda lite kinda platformer...? idk. Pretty sure you had a sword.

Is it fun: I don't recall disliking it

Is the game fun with kiddos: I would say so, real Zelda would be too hard for a lot of kiddos

Do I remember it: Not really

Would I play if it had no plat: No

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide up just to be safe
 

 

HOGGY 2

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Colorful and cutesy puzzle platformer with nice looking sprites and based pretty well entirely around Gravity Guy gameplay, so if you played Gravity Duck from 2 spots on the list ago, you know what you're in for

Is it fun: Yeah, I liked it

Is the game fun with kiddos: The amazing thing is, it's the first one I'm adding to this list after the initial dump of 40, and it has a kid mode, it's already pretty chill for kids, but having a simpler and shorter dedicated kid mode only makes this more recommendable, good job

Do I remember it: Yeah, but I like just finished it, so

Would I play if it had no plat: I'd play for $2 with the kiddo, sure

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

INKSPLOSION

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: This game is great, fuck off, but also remember to kill the ink effects in the menu if you're playing on Vita, it brings the speed down to single digit frames. Top down shmup, good fun, the end.

Is it fun: Yes.

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes, but some of the higher score requirements might make it a bit hard for baby's first plat.

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Yes and do, well, continue to I mean, you know

Bother with a guide or nah: No guide
 

 

IRON SNOUT

Describe it in a sentence: You know those games like Kung Fury where you stand still, hit a direction button at the right time, and belt a bunch of oncoming enemies? This is one of those, but with a lovely Happy Tree Friends (shout out to anyone who remembers that show) aesthetic, good times

Is it fun: Hells yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: Depends if you want your kid throwing a butcher knife through a wolf's head, but sure

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Absolutely, this is great, I love this shit

Bother with a guide or nah: Not really needed if you would keep on playing but if you want it done as quick as possible, have a look at the list beforehand

JACK N JILL DX

 

 

Describe it in a sentence:Cute black and white 2D endlessly moving forward platformer where you have to jump over stuff and people to get back to your girlfriend can be plat'd in 15 odd minutes easy, next.

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes

Do I remember it: Yes, though to be fair, I would significantly less if not for the B&W asthetic so good choice there

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

JUST IGNORE THEM

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: This and Red Bow are some weird weiboo incel junk and I don't care for it, go read whatever I wrote about them both a couple years ago in the linked post, it will be better than what little I could remember now.

Is it fun: No

Is the game fun with kiddos: No

Do I remember it: Yes but not bc it's good

Would I play if it had no plat: God no

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide definitely
 

 

MEKABOLT

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: This is another 2D sidescroller/platformer/whatever with a gun and it's good, it's more Super Mario Land 2 than 1, nice sized models and stuff, colorful worlds, good fun, definitely fun with kiddo

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes

Do I remember it: Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: With the kiddo and for cheap, sure, for myself, nah

Bother with a guide or nah: No guide
 

 

METAGAL

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Megaman lite, don't be fooled by piss easy plat, once you beat the first level and get said plat, the rest of the game is actually reasonably challenging, definitely a good Megaman clone

Is it fun: Yup

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah but not if they be a tantrum thrower hey

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Honestly, yeah, but weirdly only if it was on PSP, something about it without trophies when it could have them annoys me

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

MIDNIGHT DELUXE

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Nothing like 36 Fragments, in this you kinda have to Angry Birds your way from point A to point B without dying at the hands of a variety of things, think there's 40 odd levels you have to beat for the plat, it's alright

Is it fun: Yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah but I wouldn't try to plat it in one sitting with them

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

MILO'S QUEST

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Like that box moving game that was built into your square TV when you were 10 but you're a dog and can fight ghosts and shit, honestly not that bad, give it a whack

Is it fun: Yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah

Do I remember it: Yeah

Would I play if it had no plat: No

Bother with a guide or nah: No need for a guide unless you get lost and or wanna get it done as quick as possible
 

 

MOCHI MOCHI BOY

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: You're a slime slug snake thing and you have to fill every square on the screen, dodging between hazards and puzzles and shit, it, like a lot of these, is just your run of the mill flash game that got shoved onto your Vita with trophies, that being said though, like a lot of flash games, there's some great fun to be had here, also shit it's like Snake lol

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: For absolutely sure

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Yeah, I like Snake

Bother with a guide or nah: No need, but if you don't figure out how level 12 works (I was dumb) you might end up looking
 

 

NEON JUNCTIONS

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Neon drenched 3D puzzle platformer

Is it fun: Sure

Is the game fun with kiddos: Again, wouldn't expect a one sit plat, but sure

Do I remember it: Asthetically mostly

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide if you don't wanna stagger around a long time trying to figure it out
 

 

ONE NIGHT STAND

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: A game I bought because I wanted a platinum with the letter O and Okami was too hard, now available on PS5. Also it's a visual novel thing, nothing special, done in 45 mins tops

Is it fun: Not really

Is the game fun with kiddos: Wouldn't recommend it

Do I remember it: Barely

Would I play if it had no plat: Not a chance

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide up, get out
 

 

PARADOX SOUL

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Barely remember, 2D platformer with guns and enemies, Metroid lite, run through map looking for shit, etc. nothing wrong with it, just not memorable really

Is it fun: It was fine, I'll be replatting it on Vita soon so I might come back here, who knows

Is the game fun with kiddos: Wouldn't personally but idk your kids and what they like

Do I remember it: Aesthetically only really

Would I play if it had no plat: No

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide it, there's a lot of rooms and stuff
 

 

PEASANT KNIGHT

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Your bloke has to get to the end in a 2D sidescrolly-platformy thing with enemies and teleporters, but most importantly, a time limit, big quick rush to end, good 5 minutes of play and piss off kind of game

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes

Do I remember it: Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: On a phone, maybe, but then the only game on my phone is Wordament and I never use it anyway so idk

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

RED BOW

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: See what I said about "Just Ignore Them" above, fuck this game 

Is it fun: No

Is the game fun with kiddos: No

Do I remember it: Begrudgingly so

Would I play if it had no plat: No

Bother with a guide or nah: Yes, get it the fuck done and gone
 

 

RUSH ROVER

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Turned out to be a genuine delight, top down arena based twin stick shooter, tight controls, cool Terminator-esque aesthetics, genuinely fun little game

Is it fun: Fuck yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: For sure

Do I remember it: You bet

Would I play if it had no plat: Still play it post plat, so, yes

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

SHADOW OF LOOT BOX

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Hour or so long 3D first person platformer with guns that exists basically solely to take the piss out of lootbox and MTX culture, it's fun if you can get over the irony of paying for a small game thing wherein they basically tell you not to pay for small game things

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Absolutely, any shooter that's both family friendly and fun is alright with me

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: $2 rule, you know it

Bother with a guide or nah: I don't remember, so let's say yes to be safe
 

 

SQUAREBOY VS BULLIES

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Like if Graggle Simpson was in Streets of Rage

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes, though the last level is a bit hard, cheese the jump attack and you'll be right

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: If I didn't have any "real" beat em ups, sure, it's a perfectly competent one

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

SUPER BOX LAND DEMAKE

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Remember that game where you move boxes into their spots and move onto the next level, imagine a whole game of that.

Is it fun: If you like that sort of thing

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah, mine almost plat'd it in one go before she got pissed around level 25 or so

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: $2

Bother with a guide or nah: No need really, unless you get stuck on a level, all the trophies are self explanatory
 

 

SUPER DESTRONAUT DX

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Easily the best Space Invaders game since Extreme

Is it fun: Absofuckinglutely

Is the game fun with kiddos: Absofuckinglutely

Do I remember it: Absofuckinglutely

Would I play if it had no plat: I'm getting sick of typing absofuckinglutely

Bother with a guide or nah: Yes if you have no interest in continued play and just want to know the required levels to be done, though tbh looking at the trophy list would tell you 
 

 

SUPER DESTRONAUT DX: INTRUDERS EDITION

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: All of the same as above, but it's a Japanese version with some extra levels and a sideways arcadey mode

Is it fun: Above

Is the game fun with kiddos: Above

Do I remember it: Above

Would I play if it had no plat: Above

Bother with a guide or nah: Above
 

 

SUPER DESTRONAUT: LAND WARS

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: What do you do after making a really good Space Invaders knock off? If you said make a really fun colorful 3D arena based FPS then you get a cookie

Is it fun: Yup

Is the game fun with kiddos: For sure, any shooter that's fun and easy and colorful and swell is a good time to the under 10s

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Yup, if I could get this and the above one in a 2 pack for $5 I'd be stoked, trophies or no

Bother with a guide or nah: As with the first one, look at the list and you'll know where to stop if you don't want to just keep playing
 

 

SUPER WEEKEND MODE

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: You operate 2 Breakout style paddles with the L an R buttons and they auto fire at the boss above you (vertical shmup) and eventually if you shoot them enough and dodge all their bullets you kill them, it's ... it's different to your average verti-shmup for what that's worth I guess. 

Is it fun: Yeah it goes alright

Is the game fun with kiddos: Coordination could be a bit hard in the younger ones as you move left and right freely but yeah sure

Do I remember it: Yup

Would I play if it had no plat: Probs not

Bother with a guide or nah: No guide needed, just know that to kill the bear/bunny/thing you need to smash into it physically with your ships, otherwise you might be there for a while wondering how
 

 

SUPER WILOO DEMAKE

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: If Super Mario Land 2 was piss easy but otherwise just as good

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: I give this to my kiddo who loves Mario but kinda sucks at Mario and she's happy

Do I remember it: Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: I'd play it with the kiddo, so yeah, why not

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

TETRA'S ESCAPE

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: I don't know who thought to use Tetris pieces in a 2D single screen platformer to build your way to the exit, but I like the way their brain works, game good

Is it fun: Yes 

Is the game fun with kiddos: Absolutely, some puzzles take a minute but for the most part it's very doable by a kid

Do I remember it: Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: Nah, sorry

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

THUNDER PAW

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: You're a fox or something going through a bunch of darkish 2D platformer levels looking for a hidden box in each while also shooting and trying to avoid being shot, nothing special here, but it's fine and dandy for a quick cheap sesh, it will always be the game Jess yelled about some guy online's opinion about season 8 of Game of Thrones to me though, so, that

Is it fun: Yeah

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yeah but there's more easy ones on the list that might be a better place to start

Do I remember it: Not really tbh, in my head I'm smushing Daggerhood and Foxyland together to get here

Would I play if it had no plat: No

Bother with a guide or nah: No, but makesure you don't miss any of the hidden boxes or else you'll have to go back
 

 

TWIN ROBOTS

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: Arguably the fullest game on this list, you have to get from point A to point B (2D) as a robot and his robot buddy, they have a shared health bar that you can use to power up stuff and send health back and forth, some of the puzzles are quite well put together, honestly yeah this game slaps, I'm gonna go replat it later today

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Absolutely, and on PS4 it even offers 2 player coop I believe, which would be a treat

Do I remember it: Yes, it's style is much more unique than the majority of games on here

Would I play if it had no plat: tbh probs not though

Bother with a guide or nah: Guide for all the hidden batteries probably wouldn't hurt if you don't want to play it more than once
 

 

ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: You ever play that flash game "The Hardest Game" with the spikes and jumps and dodges and shit? Imagine a whole game of that, black and white, but more well put together, boom, you've got ZZZZ.

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Mine would throw the Vita tbh 

Do I remember it:Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: Absolutely, I love this sort of shit

Bother with a guide or nah: No need, you need only beat I think 30 odd levels out of the many many more on offer, just keep at it, half an hour or so and you'll plat it
 

 

ZEROPTIAN INVASION

 

 

Describe it in a sentence: If Super Destronaut was a fantastic Space Invaders, and Full Blast was a fantastic vertical shmup, Zeroptian is second fiddle to both.

Is it fun: Yes

Is the game fun with kiddos: Yes

Do I remember it: Yes

Would I play if it had no plat: Yes, but I love Space Invaders style shit, so

Bother with a guide or nah: No need
 

 

Edited June 5, 2022 by Super-Fly Spider-Guy
Added Hoggy 2