Muff

Most Recent Platinum

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#51:platinum:

Batman: The Enemy Within

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Such a great game

Edited by Obi-Wan Kenobi
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Platinum #492: 

 

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Difficulty: 2/10 (though harder to sit through than 99% of "easy" games)

Playtime: 3 to 4 hours (but it feels infinitely longer)

Enjoyment: 2/10 

 

Probably one of the worst times I've ever had playing a game on the PS4. Within two minutes, I knew I was in for a Hall of Fame stinker up there with Ether One and InnerSpace. Sure, the first Nubla game was a busted mess, but it was really too short for it to be anything but a misguided and inept nuisance. When you drag out the already flawed concept--made by people who have no idea what makes a game fun--to four hours, you have the kind of stuff that would make a Cenobite cream their jeans.

 

I already stopped giving a shit about the potentially interesting (if in the hands of literally any other developer) art world story setting in the first game, but I decided to give them a second chance because I am a naive fool. Within twenty seconds I knew I was in for the same poorly translated impermeable gibberish so skipping through text became priority number one right fast. Something about storms and time travel and giant godlike elephants and who gives a winged oxen nutsack. If you have any self-respect, you'll take any chance to shorten your suffering... but then, said self-respect may well feel like it's already taken a critical hit just by wasting your time and money on this choice bit of fecal matter.

 

The "game" is 99% traipsing back and forth up the same damn street at a snail's pace solving esoteric and opaque puzzles with clunky controls, and even with a video guide, it's a hellish experience. It's got the the same control setup as the (infinitely superior) Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons in that each stick controls a separate character but it's always a hindrance, and never a help. It's exactly the kind of gameplay you don't want combined with stressful chase sequences, of which there a few. The game freezes up on you at random points during dialogue, and the checkpoint system hates your ass, so you're liable to lose significant progress when you inevitably have to restart the game.

 

Normally I try to be a little forthcoming and highlight the best things that even a bad game has to offer as a bit of a cointerpoint, but quite frankly... it doesn't deserve it. The only joy to be found in this irredeemable mockery of our favourite interactive art form lies in knowing that once bested, you'll never have to waste another precious second of your life on it ever again. Gilson B. Pontes can rest easy knowing that even he could never achieve this level of unmitigated fallacy on his worst day. Suffice to say, the only way the developers can make it up to me would be to put their developers' licenses into a paper shredder and spend the rest of their lives cleaning stables with their tongues.

 

Looking over it now, this review fails to convey the mind-numbing existential terror that still plagues my body and mind. I don't think my suffering was meant to be fully externalized so as to avoid passing it on to others. I suppose it's for the best.

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Finally got the platinum in Rogue Galaxy.

 

Level-5 always delivers top content. The end-game grind was significant though.

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Zero Zero Zero Zero:

 

Difficulty 5/10

Enjoyment: 9/10 . . .really enjoyed the game! A lot like N+. Now to complete all 100 levels!

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5 minutes ago, Rick_Sanchez said:

I hate Cannoneer and Blade Bearer boss fight

Same here ShkKZjB.gif

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#94

Bildresultat för unravel 2

1.87% Ultra rare 40-platinum.png

Enjoyment: 7,5/10

Difficulty: 7/10 (co-op)

Edited by He-Man089
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