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Ever been cheated on?


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6 minutes ago, RisingSenpai616 said:

I was made a fool of when a person I was dating came to me and said that they'd been approached by their ex. Long story short, they kissed, and he wanted to know if I could forgive him. Silly dolly that I am I thanked him for being so honest about it and let it go. Their previous relationship had been turbulent and he was in a weird head space at the time. He thanked me for being so understanding, told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he didn't think he deserved me but was so happy that I could see past his faults... and then two weeks later completely disappeared. Wouldn't answer my calls, my texts, blocked me on Facebook, the works. I was a wreck because I felt it could only mean one of two things; that I had done something to upset him and didn't know what or that something had happened to him which was even worse.

 

Turns out he went back to his ex and didn't even give me the courtesy of letting me know we were finished. It cut deep and for the longest time I blamed myself. That I hadn't stepped when he told they had kissed and maybe that made it look like I didn't care or wasn't serious about him. Or that I was just not good enough and he had told me all those things because he felt bad for me.

 

Turns out he was just a jerk. It took me waaay too long to figure that out and get over it but I finally did and feel much better for it. Don't let people play with your feelings. If they're going to do things like that to you, drop them, move on, and be grateful it didn't go further. Don't blame yourself or let it get to you because it's never worth it. There are other people out there worth your time.

 

Thats so cold. I'm glad you moved on. They always tend to put you in a position where it seems as if it's your fault when it's not. 

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On 26/05/2017 at 7:16 AM, RisingSenpai616 said:

I was made a fool of when a person I was dating came to me and said that they'd been approached by their ex. Long story short, they kissed, and he wanted to know if I could forgive him. Silly dolly that I am I thanked him for being so honest about it and let it go. Their previous relationship had been turbulent and he was in a weird head space at the time. He thanked me for being so understanding, told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he didn't think he deserved me but was so happy that I could see past his faults... and then two weeks later completely disappeared. Wouldn't answer my calls, my texts, blocked me on Facebook, the works. I was a wreck because I felt it could only mean one of two things; that I had done something to upset him and didn't know what or that something had happened to him which was even worse.

 

Turns out he went back to his ex and didn't even give me the courtesy of letting me know we were finished. It cut deep and for the longest time I blamed myself. That I hadn't stepped when he told they had kissed and maybe that made it look like I didn't care or wasn't serious about him. Or that I was just not good enough and he had told me all those things because he felt bad for me.

 

Turns out he was just a jerk. It took me waaay too long to figure that out and get over it but I finally did and feel much better for it. Don't let people play with your feelings. If they're going to do things like that to you, drop them, move on, and be grateful it didn't go further. Don't blame yourself or let it get to you because it's never worth it. There are other people out there worth your time.

 

Almost the exact same thing happened to me several years ago. The only differences were that she didn't block me on facebook and eventually she even picked up the phone when I called, and she actually was pissed at me for worrying. Good luck trying to make sense of that.

 

 

 

Been cheated on a few times myself, by now I can laugh those situations off though, as they were just so unbelievably surreal,.

 

One of those times, I was dating someone (was still in school back then, which now is like forever ago). Anyway, a girl who went to the same school, supposedly had a crush on me and her friends walked up to me asking me to speak to her. So I did, explaining to her that I was dating someone, and as such I wasn't interested. As a result, I ended up receiving death threats from her and her friends for several months. So essentially I was getting flack for not cheating and being honest.

 

The irony of it was, that while I was trying to do what I believed to be the right thing, my girlfriend at the time was seeing someone else.

 

Conclusion? The world is a messed up place that I stopped trying to make sense of a long time ago. I'd probably just get an aneurysm otherwise.

Edited by voodoo_eyes
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I've been reading all of these stories and it's making me think how deceptive, fickle, and unfaithful people really are. If someone were to cheat on me, I'd much rather have them be upfront about it and tell me "I'm dumping you for So-and-So." Sure it would suck, but I'd appreciate them being honest and at this point I'd be like "okay, whatever." But if they said "I need time to myself right now" and then proceeded to get with someone else, it would anger me more because they cowardly lied to my face.

 

It also makes me think of the reason why people cheat. For the most part it's because they're not happy who they're currently with and they want someone better. A friend of mine, who's been married for nearly 2 years, I can tell regrets getting married for the same reason. I don't think he's happily married at all and he even once told me that the "fire" was gone after only a few months. He even said that if he wasn't married to her, he'd have dumped her a long time ago. If their relationship ends, there's no way it's ending on a positive note...

 

 

 

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9 hours ago, RabbiAndy said:

I've been reading all of these stories and it's making me think how deceptive, fickle, and unfaithful people really are. If someone were to cheat on me, I'd much rather have them be upfront about it and tell me "I'm dumping you for So-and-So." Sure it would suck, but I'd appreciate them being honest and at this point I'd be like "okay, whatever." But if they said "I need time to myself right now" and then proceeded to get with someone else, it would anger me more because they cowardly lied to my face.

 

It also makes me think of the reason why people cheat. For the most part it's because they're not happy who they're currently with and they want someone better. A friend of mine, who's been married for nearly 2 years, I can tell regrets getting married for the same reason. I don't think he's happily married at all and he even once told me that the "fire" was gone after only a few months. He even said that if he wasn't married to her, he'd have dumped her a long time ago. If their relationship ends, there's no way it's ending on a positive note...

 

 

 

 

Yeah there's some nasty heartless people out there unfortunately. 

 

Also I think your friend should be straight to her about it. It would mean a hell of a lot more than not saying anything at all. I wish I got that chance.

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On 19 June 2017 at 8:42 PM, Tora Chan said:

Yes, and I have never forgiven the person who did it and will never date again because of it. It was a nice lesson learned.

 

Not everyone is like that, there's good people out there. You shouldn't let it affect your future too much. Personally, I'm just being more careful. I'm not looking for anything anymore, if I find someone on the way then that's fine, but I won't go out of my way for it. Too much to stress for.

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Never been cheated on, but my dad is a serial cheater. He finds a family and bleeds them dry or uses them for whatever it was he needed (he stuck with one woman for several years just go get a green card in America to escape the businesses and relationships he destroyed here). He'll find a new interest and date them in the shadows until he's caught or just ready to move on. It's never pretty. My mom was the first in a long line of women who got burned. So I have no advice from being cheated on, but from what damage I have seen my father do I can say most - but not all - cheaters will cheat again. It hurts, it sucks, but at the end of the day the problem was likely never you. They're just never satisfied. As much as it hurts the best thing you can do for yourself is move on and never look back, take the time you need to heal, and learn to trust again.

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1 hour ago, KittiBear said:

Never been cheated on, but my dad is a serial cheater. He finds a family and bleeds them dry or uses them for whatever it was he needed (he stuck with one woman for several years just go get a green card in America to escape the businesses and relationships he destroyed here). He'll find a new interest and date them in the shadows until he's caught or just ready to move on. It's never pretty. My mom was the first in a long line of women who got burned. So I have no advice from being cheated on, but from what damage I have seen my father do I can say most - but not all - cheaters will cheat again. It hurts, it sucks, but at the end of the day the problem was likely never you. They're just never satisfied. As much as it hurts the best thing you can do for yourself is move on and never look back, take the time you need to heal, and learn to trust again.

That's dark. Anyways, you've got people to talk to about this if you're having troubles.

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I've been a victim of my ex cheating on me physically, and my "current" girlfriend cheating on me emotionally. My ex went to a party with "friends" and started sending me pictures of her kissing and making out with some other guy. Something made her think I would be okay with this behavior, because when I conveyed how much of an issue I had with it, she got surprised and acted like she did nothing wrong. When I dumped her after, it got so bad that I had to change my phone number and email and stuff. She would always send me emails, texts, call, etc. and explain how heartbroken she is or leave messages of her crying as she tried to win me back. It got worse when I got with my "current" girlfriend. She started harassing even her wherever possible until I finally made it a legal thing.

 

My "current" girlfriend has done some pretty messed up shit, but this last May really took the cake. Going towards the end of May, I discovered she was having a fling with this dude on the internet. He is some POS living across the country from us. He knew she was in a relationship, and we are very close to our anniversary. It went as far as she confessed her feelings to him while lying to me about it, literally at the same time, and then also staying up really late with him in Skype chats that night. Later the next day, she told me that she "loved" that catfishing dude as much as she loved me... A couple of weeks after, things were so bad between us that she decided to "temporarily" move out of state with some family. There are other dynamics as to why I had a problem with her doing that, but for the most part it has been somewhat relieving to get her the hell out of my space for the time being. I was hurt by this tremendously, because I have a history of being abandoned or hurt by the people I care about the most, and she was, up until that point, the only one who hadn't done anything like that.

 

So, I, unfortunately, have been falling (deeper) into (an already existing) depression. I have been spending a lot of time in my dark mind and it's getting kind of scary, to be honest. My friends have been taking me out of my box a lot more lately, but it's really rough. I've been trying really hard for a number of years now to find a way to just let a lot of things I've been carrying with me since my days as a toddler, and I have no outlet. My internal bottle is so full that I don't know how to empty it anymore. Her shenanigans with this shit have really turned my world upside down. :( 

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I've never been cheated on or cheated on someone but I have been the other guy. Years ago a friend cheated on her husband with me, it was only once. She wanted us to get together but I wasn't going for that. Cause if they cheat to be with you then they'll cheat on you. 

 

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Haven't been cheated on - as far as I know - but almost. Was with a girl for 3 years through high school, aged 15 to 18, when everything just feels that much more raw because you're going through it for the first time. She breaks it off with me and then sleeps with one of my mates the next day. 

 

So there I am feeling jealous and hurt and confused for a few days. Got mad for a while but then had to rationalise things for myself. I couldn't control her. I couldn't control my friend. They're both independent people that can do what they want. So being hurt is just a choice that I am making and so I can choose not to feel that way. So I just stopped feeling it. It was literally like a weight coming off my shoulders and I immediately sat up straighter. 

 

It's not entirely rational, I know, but that's how I coped and maybe you could use that. 

 

To this day, I don't dwell on things that have gone wrong for whatever reason. Keep looking forward. The situation is what it is. Are you going to move with it, or fight it and just get overwhelmed? That sort of thinking. 

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4 hours ago, Gamesareify said:

That's dark. Anyways, you've got people to talk to about this if you're having troubles.

Oh nah haha. I'm actually quite good. My father's actions really had no bearing on me, he left when I was very young. It mostly effected my mom and my brothers. I'm a happy, healthy chick in a relationship that has been going on for over a decade. Things are awesome on my end.

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Never been cheated on, but I was in a pretty bad spot about 2-3 years ago after who I deemed my best friend up and dumped me. To try and make a long story short (who am I kidding, this is gonna be a long story), I thought I had developed feelings for him, though in hindsight, not sure if I ever really did. I think I just clung to him as some kind of emotional support, since I was going through some bad depression at the time. I told him how I felt, and he played it off and basically told me he didn't feel the same way. I was expecting as much, but I still got pretty hurt, and asked if I could have some space for a while, and he EXPLODED. At the time, we were playing Evolve almost every evening on the Xbone, and he literally told me that I was "forcing him to play a multiplayer game alone" when I told him I didn't want to interact with him for a bit while I got my emotions in order.

 

I've never seen him throw such a fit or act so childish, but I ended up blaming myself, and immediately regretted ever telling him anything. Soon after, he ironically asked me to leave him alone for a bit, so I did. After nearly a month, I got a bit anxious, basically asked if we were still friends, blah, blah, blah; he told me he doesn't think of me the same way any more, and wish things could go back to normal, but that they never will. I get hurt all the more, continue to leave him alone, before my emotions get the better of me about two weeks later and I basically have a go at him.

 

This keeps going on back and forth, until eventually he just tells me we shouldn't talk to each other any more, not like we had been doing that much for the past 8 months anyway. I still cling to the broken friendship, but he ends up blocking me on every platform/site I knew him by anyhow, and I'm just left wondering where the hell I went wrong, and how such a seemingly good friendship fell to ruin so abruptly.

 

I end up sinking further into depression since I no longer have my "bestie" to vent to, and there's several other things happening in my life at the time that's just generally making my life miserable. I genuinely felt betrayed, especially since just a day or two before I told him, I basically said I wanted to tell him something, but was worried what his reaction would be, and he told me "nothing would ever make me stop talking to you". I clung to the words more than I should have.

 

Fast forward to now, and I'm currently engaged to my boyfriend who I thankfully met when my depression had sunk to perhaps the worst it had ever been in late 2015. Not sure what I would have done without him. Looking back now, I have no idea what I ever saw in my "best friend", he was literally just a person I spoke to and hung out with a lot. We didn't really have a lot of common aside from sharing some interest in games (he was a lot less into games than I was), and our personal life experiences differed a lot.

 

As for my fiance, I trust him with my life. One simple but important thing with him is, we can sit in silence on a train journey, or just chilling on the sofa, and it doesn't feel awkward at all. I can't say the same for old "bestie". As the saying goes, you know you have a true friend when you can both sit together without saying a word, and the silence doesn't feel awkward.

 

I've heard of similar stories and experiences to my own from other friends and acquaintances, you rarely ever end up staying with the first person (or first couple of people) that you fall in love with. It hurts, but life goes on, and unless you give up, you'll still always have a chance of meeting someone new, and meeting someone far better. Back in the day, I thought me and my best friend would stay together forever, and I thought he was the best friend I ever had, and the best person I ever knew. Nowadays, it's hard to not view him as anything other than an over-reactionary manchild who didn't seem to value friendship as much as he claimed.

 

Point is, just because someone seems to be awesome at the time, doesn't mean they are. And if they've cheated on you, they've kinda just proven that fact that they weren't the right person for you, and while it's obviously going to do its damage, there's no point in wasting too many tears over someone who never truly loved you or valued you enough to do something like that.

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

It's never a fun experience of course. I've been cheated on many times. If you can come across being positive and confident in yourself pretty easily then you can pick yourself up and place your feet back on the ground and focus on yourself. I had to teach myself to be positive and confident when with some people they learn both of those from parents or grandparents or close friends. The best thing is to try your hardest to not let it get to you regardless of how deep you went with that person and focus on yourself. 

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  • 2 months later...

No. I haven’t really been in a relationship so I haven’t been cheated on. That’s all by design though. I don’t let people get close to me, exactly because of bullshit like this. Most of the time whenever I ask a girl out anyways I get rejected, so what’s even the point? Not really worth the hassle. Most people are dickheads which is why I try not to interact with them very often. People are wired to lie, cheat, and fuck each other over. 

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 was cheated on a while ago but we have worked things out.  I know people have said that the other tries to pin it on you for them cheating but this was totally partially my fault, I was too busy with trophy hunting so I've taken a step back and mostly play games for fun again.  You have to figure out if you truely love the person your with it if you feel fine moving on, I figured that once I improved myself it'll all work out and it has.   The only thing that still bothers me is the thought of how the guy must have felt getting my girlfriend to cheat on me.  Turns my stomach around like someone punched me in the gut with a steak knife.  It's getting better but sometimes the thought won't go away.  

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11 hours ago, Muskratateer said:

 was cheated on a while ago but we have worked things out.  I know people have said that the other tries to pin it on you for them cheating but this was totally partially my fault, I was too busy with trophy hunting so I've taken a step back and mostly play games for fun again.  You have to figure out if you truely love the person your with it if you feel fine moving on, I figured that once I improved myself it'll all work out and it has.   The only thing that still bothers me is the thought of how the guy must have felt getting my girlfriend to cheat on me.  Turns my stomach around like someone punched me in the gut with a steak knife.  It's getting better but sometimes the thought won't go away.  

 

That wouldn’t make it your fault, there isn’t anything stopping her from telling you she wants a break and then doing whatever she pleases. There’s no excuse for it. I don’t let gaming get in the way of my “social” life, but even if I did I’d never blame myself because of the other person’s selfish desires. 

 

For the the other half of your paragraph, I know it’s way easier said than done, but try not to think about it. The guy was obviously only feeding his own needs while not caring about the impact on you both. Judging by you calling her your girlfriend, I assume you forgave her? That’s a big call, but if that’s what you thought was right then don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Personally, I put all my trust into the person I was with before cheated on, I hadn’t the slightest bit of forgiveness in me, even now. She can rot. That’s just me though.

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Years back but it was the best thing that could happen to me.

My ex cheated on me 1 day before we went on summer vacation. However I still went on vacation with a friend of mine who luckily could get her plane ticket. After a week I met a girl on that holiday who had sort of similar issues with an ex boyfriend.

I talked a bit with that girl after the holidays but nothing really happened after that.

  

6 years later I had contact again with that same girl from summer vacation . Still 2 years happy in a relationship with her now ^^. I guess stupid luck does happen sometimes

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12 hours ago, Dark said:

 

That wouldn’t make it your fault, there isn’t anything stopping her from telling you she wants a break and then doing whatever she pleases. There’s no excuse for it. I don’t let gaming get in the way of my “social” life, but even if I did I’d never blame myself because of the other person’s selfish desires. 

 

For the the other half of your paragraph, I know it’s way easier said than done, but try not to think about it. The guy was obviously only feeding his own needs while not caring about the impact on you both. Judging by you calling her your girlfriend, I assume you forgave her? That’s a big call, but if that’s what you thought was right then don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Personally, I put all my trust into the person I was with before cheated on, I hadn’t the slightest bit of forgiveness in me, even now. She can rot. That’s just me though.

We broke up for about 4 hours and I realized that she only fell to the pressure Because I wasn't paying attention to her and what she needed which is why I can confirm it was partially my fault like I said. Also, I should mention that there was no physical contact with the dude they were sending messages to each other and some pictures so it was easier to get past. Everything has been working out since then and we are going on 6 years together now

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On 5/24/2017 at 4:36 PM, ryankamal1998 said:

Anybody ever been cheated on? In a bad place right now and just want to see if/how you guys would cope with this situation. I know this isn't a positive topic by any means so it could possibly be taken down? Idk. Also couldn't think of a better place to put this topic in so I stuck it here. Feel free to move it.

 

Yup. Back in the college days. It was really painful at the time. But at the same time, we were both entering college, with a lot more freedom, and mistakes were made.

12 hours ago, Dark said:

That wouldn’t make it your fault, there isn’t anything stopping her from telling you she wants a break and then doing whatever she pleases. There’s no excuse for it. 

 

Certainly you're right, but these things happen. That's why pencils have erasers.

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It's rough when this happens, regardless of why. The main issue (to me) is that you lose your trust in the other person, and that's something that once gone will never fully return. The knowledge that the person you care about, and who cares about you, would betray you that way stays with you forever. It's not necessarily what they did so much the fact that they did it, and no amount of not thinking about it will change the fact that it happened in the first place. Reasons may be given, and may be valid to some degree, but what remains is that the other person chose to do this, they weren't forced to, it wasn't an "accident" (unless a lot of alcohol was involved), and that willingness to cheat is something that can destroy everything. How you deal with that will determine what comes next.

 

If it happens in a relationship where you can move on without much hassle then moving on is probably the best option, since what happened once could easily happen again. If you are older things get more complicated, and walking away isn't always a viable option so at that point you may have to consider taking one for the team, keeping your family together for the sake of the kids (or whatever reason makes sense), and either sweeping the whole episode under the rug or adjusting your relationship situation so that everyone can still live under the same roof and still be civil to each other. Calling in the lawyers should be the final nuclear option, since that whole exercise is one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

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  • 2 months later...

It's difficult living with a man or woman. Even marriages that have lasted over 30 years ended in tragedy because of a simple disagreement.

 

I tend to feel sorry for any kids who had to experience their parents getting a divorce and them getting caught in the middle when they had a loud argument. I'm sure at least one or two of you here have seen this when you were kids. It's never a good thing.

 

The fact of the matter is the world is a crapshoot. Some people get married very young and live happily together for several decades. Others have had nothing but abusive relationships.

 

I never had a girlfriend, so I can't tell firsthand experience on this issue. But those of you who did get cheated on, and it looks to me that everyone who posted here has, don't kill yourself over it.

 

A lot of suicides happen from failed relationships. Don't include yourself.

 

 

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