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please be considerate to gamers outside lives


melodicmizery

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I don't believe in the age gap thing, 20 years ago or 10 years ago there was way less online games on the market. So the only times where a game had online game it was only the biggest fans of the series that played it and most of those people was sharing the same hobby so it was less of the negative people. Early Unreal Tournament comes to mind, even people set up skype calls for that game to moderate and make the place better.

 

There is assholes in all ages, it's easy to see em as often sadly as the most annoying and loudest voice is the one you will give attention too.

 

The best thing to do is to tell your close friends that those people gave you a bad experience online so they can block them and spare your friends of the misery and just move on.

Of course if it gets really bad you have to contact Sony Support if it comes to harassments, racism or worse things.

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44 minutes ago, melodicmizery said:

I am in my 30s and often when im trying to play i have other things to do at home, so im back and forth to my ps4. i try to explain this to everyone yet for some reason it never gets through to people. just because my ps4 says im online, doesnt mean i am. and then i come back to why are you ignoring me etc etc. and after i explain it again, it still doesnt go through to their heads

.

 

Too avoid this problem i decided a while ago to appear offline while playing on ps4. Internet connection is enabled, only advantage is you will always be shown as offline to everybody.

 

And to your story in general: you're right this is a bad thing. really bad. It's a reason for me too that i don't enjoy multiplayer sessions as much as i do coop sessions... playing with a few friends while talking over headset is much better than listen to someone who babbles and/or whines mostly...

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i could feel the same.

 

i hate it when i carry people in BF3 and i'm playing in a school day just to help them and then they say they're coming in 10 mins and after 2 hours they finally come and they just don't listen to what i tell em.

 

there will always be people who are just fucked up in the trophy hunting community. not everyone is good nor bad. but you can't say that MP games/trophies in general mostly suck because of that.

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I just wish the online component of a single player games should have no trophies at all.

 

and only MMO and online only BS should have them, I remember when I have to skip visiting a friend or family related or being somewhere or doing something like washing my clothes or sleeping or whatever just to sit and help someone to get a trophy that I don't even feel like unlocking it myself and oh my! I kept asking myself how do these people can stand all these hours on this said game's boring online mode for like 5 or 7 hours straight while I usually only can stomach around 2 hours before I died of boredom.

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So I was playing Monster Hunter the other day and jumped in some guys game to kill a monster for some mats.  After he sent me a friend request.  Then when I was in a cutscene he kept messaging me.  Told him I was in a cutscene.  It was followed by a hunt and I couldn't respond and he kept messaging me.  So after that I logged off and played XIV.  he sent me another message to stop that and get back on MH.  So yeah, not accepting random friend invites from that game again.  But try not to let it get you down.  I removed him and kept playing.  And hope your dog feels better.

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2 hours ago, zeit86geist said:

you're a very patient man. i would have blocked those two and proceed my happy gaming session...

one of the reasons i mute everyone/ never play with a headset

 

That's exactly what I was thinking as I read the post.  I have no patience for those type of people - they can be pushy once and I'll explain myself to them (even though I have no obligation to).  If they're rude after that or continue to be pushy, I send a very condescending message, wait until I know they've read it, then block them.

 

Clearly OP is a much better person than me. But that's probably not hard.

 

 

 

Also, give your pooch hugs from me! I hope the vets manage to find something they can do for him!

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I'm sorry to hear this because stuff like these are the kind of things that could let a good person stop playing online. 


I had a similar problem not too long ago when I tried to boost with people on this very site. I encountered some true a**holes and one of them was just insulting me with all kinds of names just because I told him to not be selfish because everyone needs to boost but he just didn't care.

I couldn't even report him because it was in a text chat on PS3 but people like these are what kept me away from MP games for a few years and having this experience not too long ago is probably going to keep me away from MP games for the near future. 

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2 hours ago, melodicmizery said:

on top of that my dog that lives with her is dying. as she was taking it to the vet yesterday it wanted to walk up here to visit me and collapsed and had a seizure. so you can imagine the depression and anxiety that instantly struck me seeing me lil friend almost die on my bday.

 

While I sympathise with your post, he/she is not an it :|

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Sorry to hear that you had some bad experiences here and I wish you and yours all the best in what seems like a bit of a chaotic time.

 

If you look at PSN as a social platform wrapped around a gaming platform, you've basically got a massive variety of people with different gender types, sexualities, ages and everything else in between.

 

But it also confronts you with varying levels of maturity, emotional intelligence and expectations - and it's these three things that can tend to cause the most difficulty if you step out of your usual single player gaming flow and into the multiplayer environment.

 

Every time you go into a MP situation with a group of strangers there is a risk that at least one of them hasn't figured out how to communicate with others. It's not a negative comment - communication is an actual skill. I've had some genuinely awful experiences, but i've had some fantastic ones too.

As with everything in life - there will always be assholes and people that are just not as skilled or talented at proper communication. But the gaming community needs more helpful people like you to cancel out as many of the less than valuable members of it.

 

So I reckon a good way to approach it is - if you do someone a nice favour and offer to help them with something like multiplayer - set the expectations with them right off the bat, let them know you might need to step away for a bit or you might be late. Then they are fully aware and if they come back to complain, it says far more about them and their ability to handle communication etc.

 

Then if they show general levels of douchery with you, you can remove yourself from the situation and cut yourself off. I suppose the benefit for you is that you are in 100% control of the situation.

 

Alternatively - when you find someone who is great and works with you rather than against you, that's the person to give your time and energy to. No point in giving energy to the unworthy. This way you are pretty much building up a solid list of gaming pals to play with and help out and who will do the same for you. That's the kind of online friendship to put work into growing.

 

I wish you all the best in getting there, you seem like a nice person - so stay strong and true dude - keep going and you'll be contributing to making the PSN player base a better bunch.

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I've had similar experiences. I have other responsibilities to tend too why I'm trying to play. I often don't get on my PS4 unless I can play it straight for at least a good hour or two. Doing multiplayer sessions is hell sometimes because I have to change laundry, feel the animals, trash out, bathroom duties, etc... I don't do boosting anymore because I don't want to deal with people yelling at me for being away for a few minutes due to real life tasks. Sorry to hear how bad its affecting you. I just ignore the messages that I don't recognize now if I don't feel like communicating. 

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I was just discussing the same matter with ProfBamBam55 and he cuts clean on this: If you can't follow my instructions, you're out. So I suggest TC, you do the same, if you're out for helping people and they can't comply with you, are being douchebags, annoying the s*** out of, just block them off rightly so. Some people don't deserve to be helped, let them learn this the hard way.

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I would agree with @ProfBambam55. I am really sorry that Murphy's Law seems to be rearing its ugly head with you, but with all that is going on in your life, I'm not sure I understand why you would agree to help someone if you couldn't commit to the time. By no means does anyone deserve to be spoken to/treated the way you were, but as ProfBambam55 pointed out, that person you were helping may have made concessions in their life to be there at a time that would work for you as well.

 

I used to be heavily involved in an MMO that required A LOT of coordination to get events to go. There were sign ups and scheduled times to do things and it was really frustrating as a coordinator of these types of things when someone wouldn't show or go AFK in the middle. I think everyone understands that real life happens and sometimes you will get pulled away from something and I'm sure that you offered to help because it would help you feel better considering everything going on. But I think it's fair to point out that you are not necessarily sure what is going on in their life either and should extend the same courtesy you are requesting.

 

Having said all of that...if it's bad enough just block them and move on! Good luck with everything going on...video games are meant to be an escape from real life problems and if it's just adding to the stress and anxiety....unplug for a while.

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Some people get so focused to unlock that trophy they don't care who they hurt getting it, it brings out the worst in them. I do understand the annoyance of boosting with someone who has to leave constantly but there's never a reason to be a douche about it. I once signed up for a Boosting Sessions through this site with apparently ''busy'' people. 5 hours after the session was supposed to start we hadn't played a single game. I consider that a waste of time because when you resort to boosting it's business not pleasure, you want you're trophies and be done with it. So if you're kind enough helping others boost, expect some to snap at you?!!

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1 hour ago, ProfBambam55 said:

hmmm...I find this somewhat of an odd one...

 

i'm one of those multiplayer lovers and wish every game had a multiplayer/co-op option...as a result I connect with the vast range of gamers that exist in the online world...passing judgment on people based on a generation is something I find kind of silly...the fact that your in your thirties means you have more potential life experience than a 10 year old so these kind of situations shouldn't be so shocking at this point in time and that likely you are better equipped to deal with them gracefully andvrespectfully..

 

 

 

I don't necessarily think that because someone is 30 then they should be better equipped to deal with x,y or z. 30 - 40 year olds. Technology has completely change the landscape by which we socially interact and exist. 30 - 40 year olds would have seen far more transitions towards how it is now than a post-internet generational group. It can be a difficult transition - i'm not justifying the experience. I'm pretty much saying that the behaviour that's been described has become the new norm - and I don't necessarily think reacting to it like 'oh it's just people being people' is productive or the right way to do it.

 

I also do not think that rationalizing the behaviour of the people the OP described as 'you shouldn't really be impacted badly by this behaviour because you are 30' is as relevant to the topic. It was a negative experience that affected a human being, for whatever reason.

 

There is no correlation between age and resilience at all. Nor is there any correlation with age and general experience. So it's not accurate to say that once you reach a certain age life experience is a given potential or otherwise.

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Not sure the purpose of this, given that anybody doing those things isn't going to listen to this thread and go "Oh yeah, good point" and stop being a jerk. After all, they already don't listen to you saying you've got things going on. So why would this somehow change it? So you're just preaching to people who would already agree with you.

Just block these people for being toxic. Ain't nobody got time for that.

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