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Opinion: Booted from a Destiny Clan


Bullstomp

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No, you aren't wrong. Is it acceptable?  Apparently so.  I've had very similar situations in ESO.  In a guild, do the dungeons, support the guild bank, then kicked out.  I inquire, they now want higher level players.  Okay, but remember who healed everyone during that tough boss fight you guys couldn't do?  

 

I wouldn't dwell on it.  Happens in every MP game, whether it is clans, guilds, crews.  

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I think it was all a misunderstanding and you acted rather hastily. He was willing to let you back in and if he does have 60 members there is a good chance he wouldn't have known that you had been doing some raids and stuff unless you used the clan chat but you didn't specify if you did or if it was all through PSN messages. You had nothing but good experiences with the clan from what you have wrote. The issue seems very minor and in hindsight you might feel the same way. I have had much nastier replies from people in the gaming sessions here and randoms in general. Just my opinion of course though.

Edited by skateak
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4 minutes ago, Toogie53 said:

I'm kind of in the middle on this one. I think it's dumb they removed you in the first place, but if you liked the clan and there was just a seemingly minor oversight with the leader why decline going back?

 

Great question. I don't want to be in a clan that drops people at the drop of a hat. If I am going to invest time in a clan I want to know I am worth something as a member.

 

And I am still friends with the people I met.

Edited by Bullstomp
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Seems weird. I haven't had much experience with clan/group play as I prefer to game on my own or split screen, but a week seems way too little. And overall, if there are 60 members I'm sure it's difficult to keep track of what everybody's doing etc. Obviously, you were active and I don't really see the point in booting you, or anybody who's inactive lest there be a need for space and/or they've been inactive for weeks/months on end. But, so is the online world nowadays, I guess 

 

EDIT: Also, just saw you completed King's Fall! Congrats man, it's not an easy raid?

Edited by KillerUni12
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Just now, Bullstomp said:

 

Great question. I don't want to be in a clan that drops people at the drop of a hat. If I am going to invest time in a clan I want to know I am worth something as a member.

That's a good point. I can see how that would make you feel undervalued. When I said I am in the middle, I just meant for that particular conversation. I didn't see a real villain in the story. It seemed he had a (bad) reason but was willing enough to reverse his decision. You seemingly wanted to rejoin but declined when it was offered. I can understand your reasoning now that you've stated it though. Personally, I probably wouldn't have rejoined either. I really dislike stupid rules and I think his rules are overly strict and seem to be enforced ham-handedly. They are dealing with someone that just joined the clan and may not understand how things work or what expectations are yet. It seems like something a simple conversation with you could have remedied it without booting you with no explanation/warning. I see the role as a clan leader as someone that coordinates a group of people so that they can enjoy a game collectively. I don't see their role as an employer that needs to tell me how, when, or why I should be playing. I get annoyed with the mentality that I need to prove myself or owe a clan in any way. I don't have a lot of Destiny experience, but in WOW that kind of BS would make me leave a guild before long.

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I would not have rejoined either.  I'd always feel like there was a stigma about the whole thing.  There are so many clans out there that want your caliber of play and friendship why bother with this one? I've been between clans/groups and while just playing and enjoying the game, get invited to another one. 

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I wouldn't sweat it too much. I was in a clan on a mobile game for a couple years and was always online chatting or helping destroy other clans. One day one of the leaders didn't like I didnt agree with her on something so I got the boot. Wasn't hard to join another good clan and met a lot of other great people. Ultimately though it was the beginning of the end for me with these stupid "Free to PLay" mobile apps that sucked money out of you weekly in order to stay current. I been back doing all my gaming on my PS4 now since August and all that money I was throwing at the mobile game gets put to better use. Only thing that hurts is my backlog keeps growing. :unsure: 

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I've run clans/guilds in multiple games over the years, and I can see where the clan leader is coming from. From what I can tell, you participated in only a couple of groups and didn't really talk to other clanmates. If I were wanting a really active clan/guild, that's nowhere near active enough. I'd want people on almost every day, talking in chat, and running with the clan/guild as much as possible. Also, as the clan/guild leader, I'd be on all the time, and if I don't know someone, then that means they aren't on enough. I'd more than likely boot them, especially if it was a full clan/guild. Because I'd rather have someone who is on more and socializing with everyone. I'd even give passes to people who were bad, as long as they were active in the chat, and fun to talk to. The important thing was that they made themselves known, and I could tell they were contributing.

 

Being respectful is always a good thing, but a good clan/guild will want a person who devotes more time to the game. If you don't have the time, or don't want to play the game all the time, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but be sure to seek out other casual players who are in the same boat.

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Also as someone who has run guilds on several MMOs over the years I think the leader was just an ass. As a leader it's important to be aware that not everyone joins a guild and instantly starts spamming chat, some people take time to settle in. If I were in doubts over activity, I would ask other members what they thought or if they'd had much interaction with you. If not, I would just ask if you're feeling comfortable or if anything was wrong. That generally helps with the feeling of acceptance and people usually perk up after that and join in if they were feeling nervous before. It's a bit much for a leader to ask people to sell their souls/wives/kids/job just to log onto an online game. Even doing 'hardcore' content, there's nothing wrong with having a couple of raid setups and then some backups or casuals who like to chat.

 

People being assholes and kicking for any random reason happens in every MMO though and it always has, you just have to roll with it until you find people that aren't like that. I don't see anything wrong with what you did and I think the leader was just being a twat. Having met a lot of these types I find they usually really struggle to accomplish much beyond the basics. From my time in WoW anyway.

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A good clan can be ruined by a bad leader.

 

I understand wanting an active group. There is nothing wrong with that. 

But I would not feel comfortable trying to stay in a group where the leader will kick at a moment's notice just because my play schedule didn't match up with when they specifically were online. Sounds like there weren't even any inquiries to other active clan members to see if they knew you.

 

I would not have stayed either. Better to go your own way now than have it happen again after you have invested a lot of time and funds into the group.

 

Keep the friends, though. :)

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Thanks for the feedback all, I appreciate it. 

 

@ExHaseo thank you for giving me the perspective from a guild/clan leader. Not sure I would handle things the same, actually I am pretty sure I wouldn't but your explanation put some pieces of the puzzle together so thanks.

 

@Asvinia Thank you, I feel the way you would react mirrors how I would.

 

I think I will stick to games without guilds/clans. I deal with enough drama in real life, don't need unnecessary drama when I game. ☺

 

 

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3 minutes ago, Bullstomp said:

Thanks for the feedback all, I appreciate it. 

 

@ExHaseo thank you for giving me the perspective from a guild/clan leader. Not sure I would handle things the same, actually I am pretty sure I wouldn't but your explanation put some pieces of the puzzle together so thanks.

 

@Asvinia Thank you, I feel the way you would react mirrors how I would.

 

I think I will stick to games without guilds/clans. I deal with enough drama in real life, don't need unnecessary drama when I game. 263a.png

 

 

 

Clan leaders don't boot people to be mean or cause drama, they do it for the benefit of their clan. Their clan that's full of their friends. If you don't fit in, and aren't making an effort to be a part of the group, then you can't really be upset when you get booted. You weren't contributing, and a good clan is full of people who are all friends who help each other out and talk regularly. It's the same for literally every other type of social circle. If you don't talk to people regularly, they aren't going to invite you to things, and you'll get pushed out of the social group.

 

If you want a clan full of people who don't talk to each other and only play once or twice a week, then by all means, you can make a clan like that. Just don't be surprised when you get on to play and no one is on to play with.

 

I'd also like to point out that you were the one that made this thread. You're the one who got butthurt and messaged the clan leader. You're the one creating drama. You could have easily just not cared and moved on to another clan, where you may have fit in better. If you don't want drama, then don't make it.

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26 minutes ago, ExHaseo said:

 

If you want a clan full of people who don't talk to each other and only play once or twice a week, then by all means, you can make a clan like that. Just don't be surprised when you get on to play and no one is on to play with.

 

I'd also like to point out that you were the one that made this thread. You're the one who got butthurt and messaged the clan leader. You're the one creating drama. You could have easily just not cared and moved on to another clan, where you may have fit in better. If you don't want drama, then don't make it.

Wow, somehow I touched a nerve. I messaged the leader because I didn't understand why I was dropped. And asking a forum of gamers if the behavior described is the norm is creating drama? Seems like you're "butthurt" because I said I don't think I would've handled it the same.

 

I will counter by saying had I wanted to create drama I would've used names. I didn't. Because I just wanted to see if this was typical. I don't usually play MMOs so I really had no idea.

 

34 minutes ago, It Is Time To Oil Up said:

Bullstomp, always making new friends it seems lol 1f435.png1f4a9.png

 

I had a feeling you would contribute eventually and you didn't disappoint.??

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6 minutes ago, Bullstomp said:

Wow, somehow I touched a nerve. I messaged the leader because I didn't understand why I was dropped. And asking a forum of gamers if the behavior described is the norm is creating drama? Seems like you're "butthurt" because I said I don't think I would've handled it the same.

 

I will counter by saying had I wanted to create drama I would've used names. I didn't. Because I just wanted to see if this was typical. I don't usually play MMOs so I really had no idea.

 

 

I had a feeling you would contribute eventually and you didn't disappoint.1f402.png1f4a9.png

I was trying to fully explain the situation, since you openly admit that you have no experience with it, and didn't really seem to have much of a grasp of the concept after my first post. And I also showed my point of view of what's going on here. You were indeed upset about being booted to the point of messaging the clan leader, when you could have just moved on. Then making a post about it here just to get information isn't really something most people do. Maybe you really are just here looking for information, but if you really just want to fully understand the situation, you should make a clan yourself.

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UPDATE:

 

So I was playing Destiny today with a friend I met in this clan. I swear this conversation happened right after I started this thread and this is exactly how she started the conversation.

 

Here is how it went:

 

Friend - I got booted from the clan

 

Bullstomp - Me too

 

Friend - What for?

 

Friend - Doing crota with randoms?

 

Friend - That is what I was booted for

 

Bullstomp -  Not being active. Though in the week I was in I did a raid and CoO

 

Bullstomp - Omg really?

 

Friend - Lol that’s stupid? yeah haha he told me I should’ve asked the clan instead of randoms?

 

Friend - That clan wasn’t very helpful though haha

 

Bullstomp - But if the clanmates are doing their own thing?

 

Friend - And yeah that’s what I told him and I was booted?

 

I am starting to  think it is more of a Napoleon complex after this conversation than anything else. I couldn't believe she got booted for raiding with random, that means I would've been booted anyway since my best raids have been with friends from this site. 

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Stuff like this happen all the time. I had my share of experience with this. But it was mostly being in a hardcore raiding guild back in WoW. As a guild officer in my days, for a fresh recruit we normally have them on watch. Normally 1 week if no contribution we too can just kick. But we too had a point system for contributing so members could stay without raiding.

I dont renember Destiny clan system but was there a member limit? 60 is a bit of members for 1 person to organize. Especially if he himself isnt active every single day. Overlooking your participating is normal if so. But really unless dedicated I would stay away from Guilds/Clans. They are just drama.

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22 minutes ago, ERGOPROXY-DECAY said:

Stuff like this happen all the time. I had my share of experience with this. But it was mostly being in a hardcore raiding guild back in WoW. As a guild officer in my days, for a fresh recruit we normally have them on watch. Normally 1 week if no contribution we too can just kick. But we too had a point system for contributing so members could stay without raiding.

I dont renember Destiny clan system but was there a member limit? 60 is a bit of members for 1 person to organize. Especially if he himself isnt active every single day. Overlooking your participating is normal if so. But really unless dedicated I would stay away from Guilds/Clans. They are just drama.

I think the limit is 100. I am working on getting this off my backlog and tried to joining the PSNP guild that is mentioned in the trophy guide yesterday but it is full. If I remember right, I think it said it had 100 members.

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I am sorry, that is just too funny! Definitely something going on there. 

 

I ran an ESO guild on Xbox for about a year, and my best recruits came from running with randoms. I knew what I was getting usually when I grabbed them there...

 

I mean, to each their own I guess, but he sounds extremely pushy. I joined a guild like that on ESO before starting mine, and left a month later after one of the officers started hounding me that I hadn't posted the daily dungeons that day. (1. I was on vacation and 2. I wasn't an officer, I didn't have any official role, I didn't even have bank access). 

 

Good thing you discovered it early. 

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Some clans are like that. The rule is to only run things with clan members. They want to keep loots within clan or only members benefitting. Just some elitist crap. Better off not with them. Because no matter how nice, respectful or contributing you were, the second you dont benefit them; you are nothing.  

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