Hocking_1988

Trying to get back into gaming after having a baby

19 posts in this topic

Hey everyone, just curious as to if anyone has been in my situation and if so what they did. 

8 weeks ago we had our first baby, as a result of this with him being unwell to begin with and generally getting to grips with parenthood my free time, let alone time for gaming has pretty much been zero. 

Slowly we are getting him into a routine so I have a bit more time in the evenings, so with so many unplayed games and new games coming up I want to try and get back into my hobby.

 

My question for anyone who has experienced a lack of time due to work or anything like that, when it comes to gaming now how do you approach it? Do you play a certain type of game (more linear ones that don’t take as long) 

Do you still trophy hunt? Do you just accept you don’t have the time you used to? Or have you given up altogether? 

 

Jusy curious to see what peoples thoughts are. I haven’t played any new games this year and also looking forward to Spider-Man, new tomb raider and red dead, don’t even know what else is coming out 

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Just dip in and enjoy whatever game takes your fancy in the little time you have.

 

Personally, I would forget about trophies - you'll be busy enough without wanting to worry about that.

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Can't say I know how if feels to have a baby but to relate in some other way, from a teenager with no responsibility to being adult with full time job has definitely taken the wind out of my sails. I used to not only trophy hunt, but also play multiplayer games with online friends. Nowadays I just drop the multiplayer and enjoy my spurts of ever changing single player games. What would've taken me 3 days to a week for 100% completion is now taking 2 weeks to a month so I just slowly had to accept that.

 

It's all about sacrifice. I work so I can make a living and also buy even more games and you are raising a child so he/she could grow proper and possibly carry your trophy hunting legacy. Joking about that last part. My advice is just go for the platinum on the games you enjoy playing. Forget about the long, grindy ones. Play it for the story and move on to a different game. If the platinum seems doable in short enough time then go for it. With good enough time management, you don't have to completely drop trophy hunting if it's something you enjoy doing. Sooner or later you'll find yourself balancing between responsibilities and hobbies.

Edited by chibuki
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At first, how is your child doing now? Hope he/she is doing well now

i don't have a baby, but if i read your story i can believe you had a stressful time. I had that as well and i'm still in that period. I try to do it with doing as much stuff that i really like.

I play loads of tennis now, play some games i know will be up my ally. I go to racing events, watch sports with my dad. I try to do as much as possible to forget the negative things that are affecting me right now

 

 

And i don't know much about being a parent but i can imagine that you have to be able to respond quick so don't play games you can't pause. 😉

Edited by Lars
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First of all congratulations on your new born.I recently got back into gaming too after quiet a busy summer of work. For me I just started playing a game that Id enjoy. I didn't want to start any long rpgs so I just picked a 25 hour platinum game to keep me busy and get me back I to it. My only advice is pick a game genre that interests you and try have a blind play through, then go from there. 

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I also have a baby and i think you just have to acomodate a little depending on what time of games do you like to plat. I try to avoid now mp games but i still play them sometimes, now it takes forever to get them but they eventually pop. I have to mention that i am a cook so i allways play at night when everybody is sleping.

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I usually play short easy games.

Short because I tend to be bored playing 2-3 months the same game and easy because I don't have enough time to practise some combos/movements/whatelse and not wanting to throw my dualshock agains the tv.

 

Good luck and hope you can play regularly!

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I have 3 kids, 4th is due in a month and never stopped trophy hunting. Just maybe not as heavily as before.

 

Even 1 or 2 hours a day, a couple of times a week is plenty for gaming and trophy hunting. Depending on your tastes you can play whatever games you like. Longer games work even better for me. Since you now have some extra expenses like all the diapers and possibly baby milk depending on breast feeding or not. The longer a game lasts, the more money I can put aside for a new game. But if you're the kind of person that loses track of stories easily if you don't play for a bit, you might want to try something less heavy on the story.

 

Edited by Ric
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35 minutes ago, Lars said:

At first, how is your child doing now? Hope he/she is doing well now

i don't have a baby, but if i read your story i can believe you had a stressful time. I had that as well and i'm still in that period. I try to do it with doing as much stuff that i really like.

I play loads of tennis now, play some games i know will be up my ally. I go to racing events, watch sports with my dad. I try to do as much as possible to forget the negative things that are affecting me right now

 

 

And i don't know much about being a parent but i can imagine that you have to be able to respond quick so don't play games you can't pause. 1f609.png

 

Thanks for everyone responses so far, our baby is doing well now, was in hospital for first weeks but now is fine. 

 

I am a a big fan of action adventure games such as uncharted/last of us/tomb raider so will likely stick to those, plus the great advice with these is that I will be able to pause them. 

 

I agree wirh most here about trophies, if anyone looks at my trophy list you will see I am not the sort of person to platinum everything but me and a mate of mine were competing with each other which was fun but I just don’t have the time anymore. 

 

*out of interest if anyone looks at my trophy list are there any games on there that you think are quick wins to get some platinums on? (I know I’m contradicting myself haha

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Most importantly, only play games you can pause. Don't play games like Overwatch or something that's always online and can't be paused. Get used to doing that for the next few years. With kids, you always need to be able to drop what you're doing at any second to attend to them. It's just something you'll have to get used to if you want to be a good parent.

 

From there, it's something that you really need to talk to your partner about.

 

You can see if the two of you can set aside some time for each of you to be away from the baby. You'll need to make sure your partner gets time alone too though, if they want/need it. Don't make them do more work than you do. It will lead to a very unhappy partner, and will very easily lead to the end of a relationship. I've seen it happen many times. Anyway, you can use your alone time to play games. Always expect to be interrupted though. You never know what's going to happen with a child.

 

If your partner doesn't want to do that, or simply doesn't want you playing games because they're too distracting, then you'll just need to give it more time. Wait another month or two, then have another discussion. Games aren't going to go anywhere. They will be waiting for you once you have more time. The baby is only 8 weeks old, and is going to need a lot of attention. That really needs to be your focus. And if your partner wants you around to help, then you should be there to help. 

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gratz on the addition to the fam...

 

my main advice would be patience...i reduced gaming for a bit after our first born as well mostly due to being new to parenting and wanting to be good at it ...eventually you'll sort out a schedule and fit your hobbies, friendships, etc. into your schedule so need need to worry...

 

my wife and I have two kids...in our case, I don't sleep much, like 4 hours/day avg., so I was usually up late playing video games anyways...my wife appreciated the help since I kind of took over the night shift thing...pause game... change diapers, sing songs while carrying the kids till they fell asleep again, toss them on my half-sleeping wife to breast feed (haha, seriously though), or, if not hungry, let them sleep on top of me, and all that good stuff...a wonderful experience...resume game...haha...

 

and yes, i also work a ton... like 80 hours/week average so a pretty busy daily schedule...i own a company so it's like a 24/7 job...i also have a pretty decent social life...how, right?...

 

side note : the first year of having kids is pretty simple in a sense since they nap a lot and, it might sound weird, but you're basically just kind of keeping them alive and their behavior is pretty predictable...you'll see...again, patience...if you're intelligent enough to make a thread asking for help, you're intelligent enough to work it all out on your own imo...

 

don't change anything...allow the natural flow of life to dictate your lifestyle...before you go to bed each day, think of all the things you have to be grateful for...visualize your entire day again and ask yourself if you have any regrets...if so, adapt the next day and try to improve...if not, you're golden...focus on your goals and the how will take care of itself...i know it's not really on topic but it's probably one of the best set of tips I can give you...

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Just put the baby in a bedroom in the furthest corner away from the tv.  Close all doors and just like that you have all the spare time you need.  

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9 hours ago, ExHaseo said:

Most importantly, only play games you can pause. Don't play games like Overwatch or something that's always online and can't be paused. Get used to doing that for the next few years. With kids, you always need to be able to drop what you're doing at any second to attend to them. It's just something you'll have to get used to if you want to be a good parent.

 

From there, it's something that you really need to talk to your partner about.

 

You can see if the two of you can set aside some time for each of you to be away from the baby. You'll need to make sure your partner gets time alone too though, if they want/need it. Don't make them do more work than you do. It will lead to a very unhappy partner, and will very easily lead to the end of a relationship. I've seen it happen many times. Anyway, you can use your alone time to play games. Always expect to be interrupted though. You never know what's going to happen with a child.

 

If your partner doesn't want to do that, or simply doesn't want you playing games because they're too distracting, then you'll just need to give it more time. Wait another month or two, then have another discussion. Games aren't going to go anywhere. They will be waiting for you once you have more time. The baby is only 8 weeks old, and is going to need a lot of attention. That really needs to be your focus. And if your partner wants you around to help, then you should be there to help. 

 

Oh of course I completely get that, I have only mentioned it now because we are both starting to get a bit more time not only together but alone, our baby always comes first

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I have an 11 month old and I still play and trophy hunt. You play less of course but don't change your habits too much or you are gonna go mental. as @ProfBambam55 says they sleep a lot, honestly looking back I don't know how we struggled so much at first because it's literally all they do. My biggest advice would be teach them to sleep by themselves. They aren't going to like it at first and it's hard work but they benefit without you being the crutch to them sleeping plus you get loads of free time. The way my daughter sleeps at the moment I get about 6 hours a day to play if I want which is more than enough tbh

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On 15/08/2018 at 8:36 AM, Cleggworth said:

I have an 11 month old and I still play and trophy hunt. You play less of course but don't change your habits too much or you are gonna go mental. as @ProfBambam55 says they sleep a lot, honestly looking back I don't know how we struggled so much at first because it's literally all they do. My biggest advice would be teach them to sleep by themselves. They aren't going to like it at first and it's hard work but they benefit without you being the crutch to them sleeping plus you get loads of free time. The way my daughter sleeps at the moment I get about 6 hours a day to play if I want which is more than enough tbh

6 hours a day! Your lucky man. I have a 10 month old, and she almost never stops. The only time I get to play is late in the evening when she’s in bed, and I usually have to play with the volume muted.

On 15/08/2018 at 8:36 AM, Cleggworth said:

I have an 11 month old and I still play and trophy hunt. You play less of course but don't change your habits too much or you are gonna go mental. as @ProfBambam55 says they sleep a lot, honestly looking back I don't know how we struggled so much at first because it's literally all they do. My biggest advice would be teach them to sleep by themselves. They aren't going to like it at first and it's hard work but they benefit without you being the crutch to them sleeping plus you get loads of free time. The way my daughter sleeps at the moment I get about 6 hours a day to play if I want which is more than enough tbh

6 hours a day! Your lucky man. I have a 10 month old, and she almost never stops. The only time I get to play is late in the evening when she’s in bed, and I usually have to play with the volume muted.

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On 14/8/2018 at 6:52 PM, ExHaseo said:

Most importantly, only play games you can pause. Don't play games like Overwatch or something that's always online and can't be paused.

that´s a good advise...luckily, i don´t like competitive games like overwatch...i play mostly rpgs.

 

I´m a father of two and still in the business 😎 i play 3-5 hours every night. 

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Me and this girl I was seeing had a baby a few years ago.  It was pretty hard on both of us and we had to make some tough calls.  It eventually got to the point to where is was either her and the kid or video games.  

 

I still play video games.  

 

Spoiler

j/k  I don't have any kids...that I know of😉

 

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Yeah I did not open my Playstation even once when I fullfilled my duty in the army. It was six months. Only some weekends were free to me. So usually I got some rest or spent time with friends, family and girlfriend.

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Two words: portable (or semi-portable) consoles. I have a 4-year-old and a 15-month-old, and the Switch feels like it was designed specifically for me. The 3DS, Vita, Switch, and maybe even the Wii U (off-TV play) could be your best electronic friends for the next few years. Don't get me wrong, I still play the PS4 every night, but portable systems are where it's at for me. As a parent of young kids, it helps to adjust your gaming habits in order to get in those sweet hours of gaming bliss. I have commuting time (not everyone does of course) and lunch breaks. But I cannot overemphasize how much of a game-changer it is being able to keep playing when the TV goes from my gaming to a most-likely-inane kids' show. And trust me, they're almost all inane shows. There are a few amusing ones, but getting distracted by them wastes valuable gaming time. :)

 

As others have said, you can still play the same games (although MP games are VERY challenging to feasibly play with young kids) and even still hunt trophies, but you'll be going from long sessions to shorter sessions that will often be interrupted constantly.

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