MrTrofyHunter

The Struggle Is Real

33 posts in this topic

Friends,

I, like many of you, struggle to find balance with the love of gaming/trophy hunting and life responsibilities. I have gamed most of my life but as I get older I am finding it harder to devote time to a hobby I have always been passionate about. I'm in my early 40s, a banking professional, active in my community and church, husband of 18 years, three children the ages of 16, 14, and 6. I have a strong and healthy social life and exercise on a regular basis to stay fit. Really, the only time I can find the time to game is late at night when the wife and kids are in bed. However, I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn and head to work to start my day. Weekends are always busy filled with family commitments and obligations. The one good thing is I have introduced gaming to my boys who seem to be interested as well. We play together from time to time. With all this being said, how and the hell do you guys and gals do it for those in a similar situation?

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You’re older and you have family responsibilities. 

 

Plenty of people here who are single and have no kids. They can’t afford kids in fact. 

 

You have to devote the time. I work a part time job and I came back to college for the upteenth time, not far from a degree myself. 

 

Honestly by your username I took you as a guy in his mid 20s.

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I'm not much younger than you, married with 2 kids (albeit they are fairly little) and I completely understand.  My days used to be wake up, get the kids ready, take them to daycare, go to the gym before work, spend 10+ hours at work, come home at 9pm for a late dinner and say good night to the kids, watch some tv or a movie with the wife, and then at midnight when everyone else was in bed, I'd get an hour or two to game (and usually just fall asleep instead).  I worked in the game industry, so there were times I was able to game on my Vita at work and call it 'industry research', but that was rare.  However, my weekends were not nearly as busy as yours.  Maybe 3 or 4 days a month we'd do stuff, but my wife works full time too, and neither of us wanted to be busy all weekend.  So at worst, we'd spend most of one day doing stuff and relax the rest of the weekend.  That gave me some time to game.  Things are a little different now, but free time is still a luxury.  Also, with young kids, gaming when they take naps or are distracted with cartoons is much easier than when they were babies and needed attention 24/7 (even when sleeping, I kid you not).  I'm not sure how it'll work when they're teenagers (I'll let you know in ten years, lol).  When I was a teenager, even a pre-teen, I was never at home.  I was always out with friends, riding bikes places until I turned 16, then I got a car a couple weeks after my birthday and from that point on we drove everywhere.  I also did sports and worked a lot as a teen, so I really mean it when I say I was never home.  Not sure what my parents did.  They were older than most at that time (~60) so they probably just took naps, lol.  I know this new generation doesn't like to go outside as much, so maybe that's part of the problem.  Find some ways to distract the wife and kids and give yourself some free time on the weekends.  About once a month my wife will visit her parents up north and take the kids to see their grandparents.  That gives me a free day to lounge in my boxers, watch tv, nap, play games or occasionally mow the lawn :P

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I think the only thing you need to do is to take a step back and look at gaming from a different perspective as opposed to before. You have a busy life and gaming isn't a necessity but a luxury now. I myself work crazy hours and have a energy draining 6 year old who's my main priority and a girlfriend who I need to also make time for, so gaming/trophy hunting isn't my entire life anymore and I too mostly play at night where I have the time, sure I don't play as much I used to, but I've adapted to treating my gaming like a nice glass of fine wine, and it's so much better this way! I get to take my time on games, and slowly complete them, which in turn leads to a more fulfilling experience, no longer do I feel burnt out on hunting, or from simply playing games day in day out. 

 

At the end of the day feel proud with the life you're living and acknowledge that you're doing fine, learn to enjoy your gaming when you can, and adapt to taking it slow, and enjoying it more rather than thinking the worse of the situation. If you can play 10 games a month sick! If you can play none, that's okay, enjoy your time with your family and making some $$$ and come back to your games when you've got the time.

Edited by Twystical
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You need to find a happy medium somwehere. That's hard to do when you have such a busy life, but it's worth it to try and figure out ways to relax with some time for yourself as well. Even if it is only half an hour at night, it's important to have that moment. If your hobbies are always at the bottom end of the priority list, you will burn out at some point. Just like you need to make time for your partner if you don't want to end up in a divorce, you need to make time for yourself to not end up in a mental hospital ;)

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I am in my thirtees, writing my master thesis right now and I am in a relationship for 7 years. I came to the decisison to kinda stop trophy hunting, cause I am planning a family life after university ends. As soon as I hit platinum #100 I stop focussing on trophies and only play games on another account. The reason for that is that I can't see myself being so devoted to trophy hunting and having an intact family life at the same time. To be honest, what I read from you sounds kinda beautiful. Like another comment already states, it looks like you set your priorities right.

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On 5/24/2019 at 2:44 AM, Gommes_ said:

I am in my thirtees, writing my master thesis right now and I am in a relationship for 7 years. I came to the decisison to kinda stop trophy hunting, cause I am planning a family life after university ends. As soon as I hit platinum #100 I stop focussing on trophies and only play games on another account. The reason for that is that I can't see myself being so devoted to trophy hunting and having an intact family life at the same time. To be honest, what I read from you sounds kinda beautiful. Like another comment already states, it looks like you set your priorities right.

 

It happens to all of us. 

 

I have met plenty of older guys well in their 40s who still enjoy gaming for what it is. In a way I look up to guys like MetalJesusRocks and Angry Video Game Nerd because they have stuck with gaming their entire lives. 

 

I just cannot be engaged with gaming anymore like I used to. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I was constantly obsessed with gaming, usually going to the nearest ‘Blockbuster’ to play the latest Nintendo 64 and PlayStation 2 games because they looked cool. 

 

Now I just look at stuff like Days Gone and it’s just more of the fare I’ve done countless times with other games. 

 

If you plan to settle down and start a family, then I wish you all the best. It’s not easy, but with enough confidence in yourself you can form a long healthy relationship. 

 

My relationships have ended with break ups. Haven’t found the girl who I can associate myself with. Younger girls nowadays are more concerned with posting on Twitter and Instagram than they are taking the time to form a relationship. 

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On 24/05/2019 at 1:36 PM, MrTrofyHuntr said:

I'm in my early 40s, a banking professional, active in my community and church, husband of 18 years, three children the ages of 16, 14, and 6. I have a strong and healthy social life and exercise on a regular basis to stay fit.

 

Oh! You have such a perfect life, don't you?

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8 minutes ago, JiII-Valentine-- said:

 

Oh! You have such a perfect life, don't you?

 

Jealous?

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Frozen meals, part time job, no ambition, and lots of Vidya.

 

Fuck grills get trofies

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My job recently shifted to working from home, on call for Verizon

The pros: i can play games(a lot) and have the fiber optic connection for free. The cons: i have to keep an eye on a laptop, a pager (yeap, pager in 2019) and a phone line.
I'm 24 and have the ability to leave the house only when the company directs me to a customer in my area for a tech-setup. Welp, pays the bills

yhmlB3a.png

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Everyone has different lives and priorities. Not everyone has the same day to day life. Some people put gaming above other things in life. All I can suggest is to continue gaming during your current free time or try to find some free time during the week or weekend. Maybe your life will eventually slow down and free up some time to play video games!

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1 hour ago, JiII-Valentine-- said:

 

Oh! You have such a perfect life, don't you?

lol, that is kind of what I thought when I read the first post. Like "I have so much going on my life I don't have time for childish pastimes anymore" :P

 

 

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I used to do all that too. Until I took an arrow to knee. Now I have plenty of time for gaming! 

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PlayStation Vita. 

 

I never was, by anyone’s definition, a trophy hunter. I’ve always just been someone openly into video games. I’m quite similar to you in many aspects, minus as many kids and the church thing. I play my Vita for a little bit most nights while my wife reads or watches shows. Occasionally I’ll play on my consoles, but it’s rare. 

 

I just keep telling myself that I’ll eventually find some time or way to play some games, but keep focusing on the important stuff first. I can always go back to a (non-MP) game, I can’t go back on things I missed out on in real life. 

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I'm probably like half your age, single, no kids, live alone, half-time job, full-time loser and I still don't find enough time to get gaming in.

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Aim to just enjoy and appreciate what you can fit in. When gaming and trophy hunting seem like a 'job'; that's an unhealthy problem in my opinion.

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30 single and work 40hrs a week. Gaming has been a big part of my life since I was 4yrs old. I have no intentions of ever getting married or having kids. I have enough disposable income to buy games and I make as much time as possible to play them. 

 

My life, my choices. 

Edited by zer007uk
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Some people just don’t want to follow the conforming decision of having kids and giving all their money and time (which time is good, but also you need your own “me time” ) to a significant other

 

okay, somewhat teasing. But we all know that giving them all your money is true most of the time lmao. (Even though I’m not hetero, I see this consistently working a public retail job)

 

Like others have said it’s a priority thing. Some people just don’t want kids, don’t need to be involved in the community/church, or are single.

 

i know my gaming time went down with that last one, but what’s super cool about mine is that he’s also a gamer (on pc) so we still get several hours in a week (although sometimes I still don’t game so I can spend time with him still)

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Im a 35 yo male

i work a full time job and a part time job 6 days a week, i have a fiance (been together 5 years now) and she has a 15yo daughter and an 18 yo son, like you im pretty busy and cant game until the wee hours of the night and my days start pretty early

my trophy hunting has dwindled down severely  these past months.  Ive kept my 6+ year platinum streak alive but just barely.  I find myself playing games more for fun now as i dont wanna piss away what little free time i have playing something thats only going to be deleted seconds after i sync the platinum

so ive just been having fun with friends playing call of duty stompin noobs which is far more enjoyable than any trophy

Edited by Property_Damage
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