Whiteboyz Wit Attitude: The Pursuit of Money - Roadmap & Trophy Guide

[ImStylinOnYaBro 374]

Difficulty: 3/10  -  Time: 60 to 120 minutes

 

Introduction

Just two white OG’s, out tryin’ to make a livin’.
For free you can get this promotional game they be given’.
If you’re having trouble with trophies, you’ve made the right decision.
I’ma help yo one hundred percent dreams come to fruition.

 

Step 1: Wear the Prup

Head to the list of interactive music videos
Hurry it up, cuz we ain't got all day, yo
At the top of da list, select Wear the Purp
Time to do a dance, you'll probably feel like a twerp
But fear not, no need to start panting
The song’s not drawn out as Kojima's Death Stranding
Unlike when you play Horizon: Zero Dawn
There won't be much time to sit back and yawn
Scroll down for descriptions that are more pimpin'
Cause up here, I'm purposely skimpin'
Down there, I’ma give a tip, that'll surely help conquer
This lovely little dance, without going bonkers

 

Wear the Purp

 Purp Master

 Purp Novice

 

Step 2: Mt Vernon, Illinois

Select this song from the Interactive Music Videos
Did I need to tell you that? Dayum, you have more common sense than P. Diddy, yo!
If you decided to blaze
I'll try to clear up the haze
So you can get through the maze
Allah guide you to the land of milk and honey
No, I'm not trying to be funny
Don't believe me? Take my hand
Let’s take a trip to that promised land
I'll never let go like Jack and Rose in Titanic
Even when you inevitably panic
I won't let you sink to the bottom of the icy Atlantic
And at the end you get a donut
That'll feel quite good, won't it?

 

BESSIE!!
Gettin’ Glazed
Mt. Vernon Visitor
Mt. Vernon Tour Guide

 

How to be Pimpin'

 

Buy Whiteboyz Wit Attitude: The Pursuit of Money Album
You cruisin' alone around town, in yo beat up little whip
Ya got yo music turned down, cuz you know it aint hip
Pick up the Whiteboyz album, its got some sick beats
Then you'll have the ladies, filling all of yo cars seats

Buy Whiteboyz Wit Attitude Merch
You walking around the town, lookin' like a total dork
It's no wonder yo momma threw you out and kept the stork
All these years you been tryin' to figure out why
I guarantee it's because you just don't dress fly
Do yourself a favor, and get some Whiteboyz Merch
You'll be lookin' fancier than your Sunday's best you wear to church

Optional Purp Master Peripherals
Shaker Weight *Amazon Choice Verified*
Hand Grip Strengthener *Amazon Choice Verified*

Special thanks to the Whiteboyz Wit Attitude
At a loss for words, don't know where to start
So instead of my hip, I'll try to shoot from the heart
I heard your music and it started to inspire
Creative juices got flowin' and I got the desire
To write this trophy guide, I didn't have to think twice
All thanks to my homies Doc White and Crushed Ice

 

 

 Purp Master: Beat WWA's high score in Wear the Purp.

 

Check yo web browsers preferences
I'm about to spit some sexual references
Take this as yo parental advisory
Before ya fist takes flight and flies at me
Tryin' to clamp down like the jaws of a Sharknado
Save the embarrassment of yo face looking red as a tomato

I don't care what anyone says
This trophy's tough, like my girl Ocasio-Cortez
If you try and get this trophy legit
Be smooth as the lines delivered by Brad Pitt
But you'll truck it up and channel your inner rage
It will vastly exceed the insanity of Nicolas Cage
Doing it normal could result in it glitching
You'll miss a move and come to the forums just whinging

Sit back and pop some Viagra
Cuz I’ma start flowing like Niagara
This easy method requires no hocus pocus
All you need is an unfappable focus
I know what you'll say, this is some sick prank
But all you gotta do is pretend to wank
It's tried and true, you can take it to the bank
Believe me, cuz when it comes to guides I'm the pinnacle
This process is totally legit and clinical
Check out a video guide I posted below
It will help make this trophy far easier, fo sho

The song is about two hundred seconds, so you need good endurance
If you have a weak arm, don't let that be a deterrence
There's two ways to practice, let this be good assurance
You don't need to be a magician
Just simply follow your intuition
Shoot across the web, to the site called Pornhub
You know what it is, are you ready to take a tug?
No matter what your style
There's a video to make you smile
I know for this trophy, you have a mighty thirst
Someone called a plumber, your pipes about to burst
I could also suggest a shaker weight
To mimic the motion you need to simulate
If you want to be a Purp Master
And not have it end in disaster
If you're a single beat off, you will have to restart
Just keep it up and it won't be that hard

Beat the high score of twenty-one thousand two-fifty
And pop a gold trophy that looks quite nifty
If you're ashamed, this trophy could be worth hidin'
Before it's too late, like the dementia within Biden

 

Purp Master - Stroke Method

 

 

 

 MT. Vernon Tour Guide: Beat WWA's high score in Mt. Vernon, Illinois.

 

They call me Mr. Pink and I usually don't tip
In this case I will, lest I think you'll flip
To get this trophy, you need a run of 117 plus
So absolute perfection is nearly a must
For this trophy you have such a lust
You reading this guide because in me you trust
Don't get caught up in the numbers like its the lottery
Your hopes will fall apart like you amateur pottery
When I'm spitting rhymes, don't be like PSN and try to throttle me
Or I'll have Doc White give you a trans-orbital lobotomy
There's not really any good tactics
To be more useful than recyclable plastics

In the level there are things you simply have to avoid
Or the result will be like getting hit by an asteroid
There are cows and deer staring into your headlights
Jump, or sign your death warrant, the runs dead to rights
Do this by using  to activate your cars thrust
It's a one hundred percent absolute must
Then you use  to shoot gaps in the boxes
Obvious and nowhere near sly as a fox is
Jump with a confidence that's bold as brass
Thank god you're not wide as Kim Kardashian's @$$
Because the gap between the boxes are narrow
Try to glide through with the grace of a sparrow

Up next is a mini game of memory
While being confronted by your enemies
Like cheap champagne, use  to pop a cap
In these wannabe gangstaz who say I can't rap
Use  and  to shoot em up like fish in a barrel
Should've kept they mouth shut, they wouldn't be in peril
Tupac, Kanye, Eminem, Drake, and Fiddy
They just posers whose raps flop, like a pair of fifty year old kitty's
My rap guides are bomb, just ask my homie Diogenes
Standing on their own without the crutch of Nicki Minaj in these
Waste em real fast so the game spawns seven
Send them straight up to the gates of Heaven
Get a shovel these bodies need buryin'
Cuz I rained hellfire like Daenerys Targaryen

Wake up and realize, this ain’t a PG poem
Lyrics electrifying, just like an Ohm
Pushing through the level you encounter a resistance
Keep on dodging and shooting with persistence
Covering the distance that feels intergalactic
Try to keep calm or you’ll go anaphylactic
As you progress, the pressure gets more draconian
You can handle it, even though you ain't Macedonian
One final shootout, don't shoot blanks
Like Donald Trump, when he gave his thanks
To Putin, before his rise to power
As he drowned in a golden shower

Below is a video, swag as an ancient Egyptian
To crack the code of trophies and love in this encryption
It makes this trophy not as hard, unlike me with your mummy
I got so far in, I ended up in her tummy
She had trouble breathing, like it was Coronavirus
But she was soon on her knees, praising me like Osiris
Such a high level of seduction
It’s like a fourth kind abduction
Don't celebrate prematurely
Your run could be ended, just a smidge early
Like getting sucked by the gravity
From a black hole of infinite depravity
That would be such a travesty

 

Mt. Vernon Tour Guide

 

 Wear the Purp: Learn the hippest dance in years.

Unmissable

 

We hoppin' straight in, wit our boy Doc. White
He'll teach you the moves, cuz he's hella polite
Doc shows you the moves, it aint no psychedelic illusion
He'll help aleviate any sort of moronic confusion
You don't wanna look like a fool on the dance flo
So pay close attention, ok? Let's go

First up is a move called left swing
Don't blind yourself with the glint of yo bling
Alright dawg, you got that down
One step closer to not lookin' like a clown
Tilt that pad to do the right swing
Lookin' like a dance God, worthy of worshiping
Dancing Pro, it's time to turn it up a notch
Get to cocky, this next move you'll likely botch
Think you can do the forward swang?
You got dis motha trucka, it aint no thang.
Stick yo arms out, like you tryin' to point
Over to your friend, to pass that fresh joint.

These next moves are your bread and butter
Yeah, you heard me right, did it sound like i stuttered?
First of the two is one of the classics
Luckily you don't need to know how to do gymnastics
Shake it up, rotate the controller like yo cars spinner rims
Succeed at this, you'll be singing angelic hymns
Pour it on you with a pouring motion
Similar to drinking a magical potion
Doc White wishes you luck, but you won't need Felix Felicis
Even if all your dance moves are just misses
At the end of the song, your trophy will pop
Dats a good job, you deserve some props.

After this you won't need a Mercedes
To be out picking up the ladies
Girls don't worry, I didn't forget about you
But you've already got sick dance moves
So if you wanna be out there picking up the dudes
Don't even think about sending any nudes
Cuz we are Ferroequinologists
If you have a one track mind, then I’ll give you the gist.
It means we loco fo trains
As much as chicks with big brains

Edited June 15, 2020 by ImStylinOnYaBro

[ImStylinOnYaBro 374]

 Purp Novice: Score more than 10,000 points in Wear the Purp.

 

Sic Parvis Magna, greatness from small beginnings
Its like a holiday feast with all the trimmings
But you treat this game like some motha truckin'
Leftover piece of turducken
You thinkin' ten k, absolutely no way.
I got yo back and there's no need to pay
So you can save all your money
And buy gifts for yo honey's
Now it's time to pay attention
While you hold yo suspension
Of disbelief while I spit this rhyme
That blows your mind and is totally sublime

I know you just a novice
Sitting there in yo office
Sucking up my info for profits
Kick back and light up a blunt
This ain't no publicity stunt
The time has come, I'm about to bestow
You need to keep up your dance move combo
I hope this makes you glow
Like a firefly
Cuz this ain't no lie
It's as simple as that, I know holy Jesus
You can rack up points like CEO's swipin' Visa's

It's all about point perpetuation
As it pertains to the trophy situation
Like an evil cooperation
With its hold on civilization
Can we find a solution
To this Capitalist pollution
But yo trophy is more imperative
Hopefully it helped, by reading this narrative

 

 Gettin' Glazed: Drop The Officer off at the police station so he can eat donuts.

Unmissable

 

Fixing to go hard, like I'm playing Nioh
Got the guts to dis this guide in front of me, yo?
Wake up, you livin' in the fantasy world of Deponia
If you need help on this trophy you a jabroni, yeah
Out grinding to make this guide happen
Whilst you sit back, just mindlessly fappin'
High on the leader board with delusions of grandeur
Hate to break it to ya, but you mismanage your
Sorry excuse of a trophy list
That the honest truth, so don't go get pi$$ed
I know that you've been yearning
So i'll preach and you can start learning

Imagine you are flying on Apollo
But a linear path to simply just follow
You won't be saying "Houston we have a problem"
Before they arise, I know you will solve them.
Don't feel like a child doing their chores
You get the trophy, no matter your score
I think you'll be amazed
The excitement will cause your controller to get glazed
If cops give free donuts there could be a skirmish
With this new piece of hardware you can furnish
Your gargantuan trophy collection
With a brand new immaculate conception

All the joking aside
Like earlier in the guide
If we stand here indivisible
Float ideas like a dirigible
Changing the history of law
Pouncing like lions to maul
We won't think about conceding
Since we'll be defeating
The enemy in this fight that is pivotal
Reaching a mass that is critical
Knocking out those digital stamps
Stood together, hands held tightly and clamped

 

 Mt. Vernon Visitor: Score more than 60 points in Mt. Vernon, Illinois.

 

No need to go flat out, to get sixty in Illinois
But this ain't no vacation in Vietnam's capitol of Hanoi
The mode's not as bad as flappy goat
So when you finally arrive at the moat
Of the illustrious Falkenstein castle
There won't be near as much bloody hassle
In the end, this trophy's about as brutal
As being attacked by a rabid poodle

You get points for navigating obstacles
Hope you don't suck as much as you do on popsicles
There is also two briefs games of memory
Hope your mind ain't clogged like your femoral artery
This lot of points doesn't need laser accurate precision
Like when Crushed Ice gave you a circumcision
Put that Zippo away and quit trying to light a smoke
Looking at me like an absolute joke
It whisks me up, like a fresh egg yolk
Makes me a dangerous fire you best not try and stoke

Sixty is like the price of a game, that's conducive
To the boring monotony of an X Box exclusive
This game is reasonably easy peasy
Though not as much as lemon squeezy
If you are non-skill gamer, who like their spam
This is an easy trophy, so prepare to go ham
Did you get this game cuz you a fanboy of Sony
You just a unicorn princess, riding on yo pony
Normally yo games are such load of baloney
This game will make yo list look a lot less phony

 

 BESSIE!!: Hit Bessie with the punch buggy.

 

Crammed in your Volkswagen punch buggy
Cozy like when you covered in yo Snuggie
All you gotta do is drive straight into a cow
Like a snow covered road in need of a plow
Then you feel a rather large bump
Bounce in the air and land on ya rump
Oh my God, you just killed Bessie!
Things are fixing to get rather messy

On the windscreen there's a splatter
Looks like our friend Bessie's brain matter
It's a game so there won' be harm
No need to go and raise the alarm
Not like those nasty factory farms

They like to slice and dice
Not once, or twice, but thrice
Like they playin' Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice
You spy through a wall that has a crack
And what do you spy high up on a rack?
Looks like something you need to unpack
Is it a trophy for your multi-region stack?

 

BESSIE! Video Guide

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yo, my name is Stylin. Don't test me, cuz I got attitude
You come here for construction criticism or complimentary platitudes?
Lest it's the later, I'll knock yo @$$ out and you'll be layin' parallel to latitude
Pass the test and I'll be saying thanks for showing gratitude

Edited June 17, 2020 by ImStylinOnYaBro

[Helyx 4,143]

Is it too early to vote for Trophy Guide of the Year?

[AffectatiousDonk 4,643]

@ImStylinOnYaBro really great effort, so many great lines. Your Purp Master Video strat is major OP. What a loss for the site not publishing this guide. Keep up the great rhymes Sir I am sure Doc White & Crushed Ice would be impressed.

[Bloodytears1666 1,068]

The best I've ever seen

You one hundred percent feel what I mean.

Never planned to buy the game, 

But your fantastic skill crossed my way.

 

[K_Groove_NL 3,097]

^ I approve 🤗

[DemonicDraco 99]

The hell?

[ImStylinOnYaBro 374]

Thank you Helyx, AffectatiousDonk, Bloodytears1666, and K_Groove_NL for such kind words. Spread the word, and perhaps by popular demand, this could be published. Peace and love, homies.

[DrDomSir 14]

Good work man, had a little giggle at this!

[MochizukiAmey 12]

Nice work. This is my most underrated game of 2020 alongside Maneater and Bugsnax.

Edited January 1 by MochizukiAmey
Mistake.

[ImStylinOnYaBro 374]

1 hour ago, MochizukiAmey said:

Nice work. This is my most underrated game of 2020 alongside Maneater and Bugsnax.

this means the world to me, and i also speak for the WWA. please remember us in the vote for goty 2020