What do you think of my game introduction?

[Kataliahh]

I'm thinking of making a game using Unreal Engine 4 that will be released whenever I finish it and I was wondering what you think of the start of it. Opinions on things to add to flesh out the story or things to change are appreciated. Okay, so here goes...

Story of my Game

Combat tutorial of the game: The Roman father sat in a prison cell in the dungeons of a Roman arena before he was sent to fight in the arena in a nearby Roman settlement. He battles other gladiators as well as Roman soldiers, people on chariots, archers with arrows tipped with fire as well as tigers before leaving the arena as the victor of that battle. He promises to himself that he will do whatever it takes to make things right.

Beginning

Sometime during the evening of the Ides of March, a festival in Rome where the sacrificing of a lamb is said to bring great wealth to the citizens of Rome, is held. The son of a well-known Roman Centurion, who is fighting in the continuous war against the Barbarians far away in the forests away from the walls of Rome, is tending to a young elephant after arriving at the festival by way of a winding path from his house to the main square. The elephant was considered a symbol of great wealth to the emperor of Rome, and was one of Caesar's most prized animals that he owned.

As the boy was tending to the animal, onlookers gazed on the animal. A boy similar in looks came over to the boy and stabbed the elephant to death, remaining out of sight of the onlookers. The boy who was tending to the elephant was shocked by what happened. His small knife which he used to clean the elephant was stained with blood. Some of the onlookers realized what had happened and blamed the boy for the death of the elephant. As the boy was running away from the scene, Roman guards chased him through the marketplace but they lost sight of him sometime during the case. The boy ran as fast as he could, dodging through the large crowds, confused by the commotion in the square and by the boy running right through them, all the way back to his house in the forest. He rushed inside, avoiding the gaze of his mother who was surprised at the early return of her son. Before the mother was able to find out what happened to his son, there were multiple knocks on the door and Roman guards rushed into the house with the intent to arrest the mother's son. Scared and attempting to protect the life of her son, the mother grabbed a nearby kitchen knife and stabbed the chest of one of the Roman officers, leaving the man screaming on the ground in agony. The boy, realizing what happened, rushed out to try and protect his mother from harm swinging a short sword he picked up in his bedroom, but although the boy cut down one of the guards one of the other ones quickly and forcefully disarmed him. Brushing the mother aside, they dragged the boy who screamed to his mother for help, but the mother just sat and wept.

News of what had happened at the house reached the father by word of one of the Roman officers that interrupted him. The father was in the middle of planning to attack the Barbarians that had pinned themselves down a short ways into the forest. The messenger, carrying a rolled parchment telling of what had happened, was tired from the long journey. The father was furious by what had happened back in Rome but he was unable to leave immediately as there was a small attack by a group of Barbarians. After the Romans killed all of the Barbarians, he left immediately for Rome in search of his wife and son.

Meanwhile at one of the Roman squares, the area had been repurposed into a crematory and the mother and son were forced to their knees by other Roman guards in front of the crowd of onlookers. The corpse of the elephant burned in a great fire as the Roman senator decided what was to happen to the family. He expressed his deepest regrets of what had happened during the festival, and was especially shocked of who were responsible. The mother's son was ordered to be locked up in the prison of Syracuse far away from Rome and he announced that the victor of the upcoming gladiatorial games was to be rewarded with the Rudis, the wooden sword that promised freedom, after the winner killed the boy for all the trouble that was caused during the festival.The mother was frightened of what might happen to her, but although she struggled to run away guards stopped her. Meanwhile a young girl in the middle of the crowd, hearing of what was to happen to the boy, quickly left the square.

---

I haven't thought of any names for any of the characters and don't have an exact idea of what they might look like and stuff. My game is gonna be a sort of third-person sword fighting/stealth game between two different characters you control throughout the game.

Edited January 25, 2015 by Icaraeus

[Dragon-Archon]

I'm thinking of making a game using Unreal Engine 4 that will be released whenever I finish it and I was wondering what you think of the start of it. Opinions on things to add to flesh out the story or things to change are appreciated. Okay, so here goes...

Story of my Game

Combat tutorial of the game: The Roman father sat in a prison cell in the dungeons of a Roman arena before he was sent to fight in the arena in a nearby Roman settlement. He battles other gladiators as well as Roman soldiers, people on chariots, archers with arrows tipped with fire as well as tigers before leaving the arena as the victor of that battle. He promises to himself that he will do whatever it takes to make things right.

Beginning

Sometime during the evening of the Ides of March, a festival in Rome where the sacrificing of a lamb is said to bring great wealth to the citizens of Rome, is held. The son of a well-known Roman Centurion, who is fighting in the continuous war against the Barbarians far away in the forests away from the walls of Rome, is tending to a young elephant after arriving at the festival by way of a winding path from his house to the main square. The elephant was considered a symbol of great wealth to the emperor of Rome, was one of Caesar's most prized animals.

As the boy is tending to the animal, onlookers gazing on the animal. A boy similar in looks comes over to the boy and stabs the elephant to death, remaining out of sight of the onlookers. The boy who was tending to the elephant was shocked by what happened. His small knife which he used to clean the elephant was stained and some of the onlookers realized what had happened and blamed the boy for the death of the elephant. As the boy was running away from the scene, Roman guards chased him through the marketplace but they lost sight of him sometime during the case. The boy ran as fast as he could, dodging through the large crowds that were confused by the commotion in the square and by the boy running right through them, all the way back to his house in the forest. He rushed inside, avoiding the gaze of his mother who was surprised at the early return of her son. Before the mother was able to find out what happened to his son, there were multiple knocks on the door and Roman guards rushed into the house with the intent to arrest the mother's son. Scared and attempting to protect the life of her son, the mother grabs a nearby kitchen knife and stabs the chest of one of the Roman officer's. The boy, realizing what happened, rushes out to try and protect his mother from harm swinging a short sword he picked up in his bedroom, but although the boy cut down one of the guards one of the other ones quickly and forcefully disarmed him. Brushing the mother aside, they dragged the boy screaming to his mother for help but the mother just sat and wept.

News of what had happened at the house reached the father by word of one of the Roman officers that interrupted him. The father was in the middle of planning to attack the Barbarians that had pinned themselves down a short ways into the forest. The messenger, carrying a rolled parchment telling of what had happened, was tired from the long journey. The father was furious by what had happened back in Rome but he was unable to leave immediately as there was a small attack by a group of Barbarians. After the Romans killed all of the Barbarians, he left immediately for Rome in search of his wife and son.

Meanwhile at one of the Roman squares, the area had been repurposed into a crematory and the mother and son were forced to their knees by other Roman guards in front of the crowd of onlookers. The corpse of the elephant burned in a great fire as the Roman senator decided what was to happen to the family. He expressed his deepest regrets of what had happened during the festival, and was especially shocked of who were responsible. The mother's son was ordered to be locked up in the prison of Syracuse far away from Rome and he announced that the victor of the upcoming gladiatorial games was to be rewarded with the Rudis after the winner kills the boy for all the trouble that was caused during the festival.The mother was frightened of what might happen to her, but although she struggled to run away guards stopped her. Meanwhile a young girl in the middle of the crowd, hearing of what was to happen to the boy, quickly left the square. 

---

I haven't thought of any names for any of the characters and don't have an exact idea of what they might look like and stuff. My game is gonna be a sort of third-person sword fighting/stealth game between two different characters you control throughout the game.

It's good, I like it. The only part that's not really believable is the mother and boy (with lilttle to no combat training) being kept alive after they killed the guards (who've endured years of training). Unless the father is a high-ranking general in the army (that status could save the mother and child from being killed on the spot), I assume the mother and child would've been butchered for (supposedly) killing the elephant and a few guards. Maybe they could hurt a guard. Also why would the mother immediately kill a guard. The bit about a look-a-like boy is strange and I assume it's got something to do with the plot. Otherwise that would be far too convenient. I assume the father is one of the protagonists and the game revolves around finding out who set the boy up. 

Edited January 24, 2015 by Dragon-Archon

[Kataliahh]

Okay, the father is supposed to be the Roman Centurion (which are basically high ranking generals) of the army. I thought that would keep them from being murdered on the spot, but if you think that isn't very believable then I'll change it. My reasoning behind the mother immediately attacking the guard was because of self defense instinct and her willingness to protect her son, but if that isn't believable I could change it to her only harming a guard or not attacking at all.

The protagonists are intended to be the father as well as the girl that slips away from everyone in the square, and the whole idea behind the story is how they try and save the boy from being executed. My intention for this was by getting the father to become a gladiator so that he may attempt to win the gladiatorial games in order to prevent anyone from killing his son, while the girl would do some sneaking around private areas in order to try and uncover the truth behind the murder and what is to happen to the mother.

If any of this doesn't sound right it'd be great if you gave me some suggestions.

[Dragon-Archon]

Okay, the father is supposed to be the Roman Centurion (which are basically high ranking generals) of the army. I thought that would keep them from being murdered on the spot, but if you think that isn't very believable then I'll change it. My reasoning behind the mother immediately attacking the guard was because of self defense instinct and her willingness to protect her son, but if that isn't believable I could change it to her only harming a guard or not attacking at all.

The protagonists are intended to be the father as well as the girl that slips away from everyone in the square, and the whole idea behind the story is how they try and save the boy from being executed. My intention for this was by getting the father to become a gladiator so that he may attempt to win the gladiatorial games in order to prevent anyone from killing his son, while the girl would do some sneaking around private areas in order to try and uncover the truth behind the murder and what is to happen to the mother.

If any of this doesn't sound right it'd be great if you gave me some suggestions.

Ok, I didn't know Centurions were like generals. That explains the mother and boy being kept alive. The mother harming a guard or not attacking at all would be better, especially if she could use her husband's status. Unless there are some corrupted politicians who want to kill them.

 

That sounds great. Now I'm really interested in this game . Will there be some exploring, like with the girl. She can look explore and find optional hidden items that leads to better rewards/items/information.

[Kataliahh]

Ok, I didn't know Centurions were like generals. That explains the mother and boy being kept alive. The mother harming a guard or not attacking at all would be better, especially if she could use her husband's status. Unless there are some corrupted politicians who want to kill them.

That sounds great. Now I'm really interested in this game . Will there be some exploring, like with the girl. She can look explore and find optional hidden items that leads to better rewards/items/information.

I was thinking of making the game kind of an open-world experience where you are able to walk around large sections of Rome and stuff like that as the girl. The girl would be the one trying to find out information of what happened/what will happen to the rest of the family, by sneaking into the political areas of Rome where she could do so something like spy on the senator that sentenced the boy to go to prison. The girl would get caught sneaking around in the family's house by the father who returned and they would end up working together to try and save both the mother and son.

You'd be able to walk around markets as you're traveling through locations, as the girl, and you could buy random stuff with coins you find throughout the game that could be used to help you in the game. The father would be stuck fighting most of the time in the gladiatorial arenas and other areas so it'll be basically a mix of fighting/stealth. I'm thinking of letting the girl have some ability to fight but not be too strong that the game would be easy.

Inspiration for gameplay ideas for this game have been taken from Shadow of Rome (place and time it's set in and the gladiatorial arenas), Infinity Blade (combat) and The Last of Us (style of storytelling and specific stealth mechanics).

Edited January 26, 2015 by Icaraeus

[Dragon-Archon]

I was thinking of making the game kind of an open-world experience where you are able to walk around large sections of Rome and stuff like that as the girl. The girl would be the one trying to find out information of what happened/what will happen to the rest of the family, by sneaking into the political areas of Rome where she could do so something like spy on the senator that sentenced the boy to go to prison. The girl would get caught sneaking around in the family's house by the father who returned and they would end up working together to try and save both the mother and son.

You'd be able to walk around markets as you're traveling through locations, as the girl, and you could buy random stuff with coins you find throughout the game that could be used to help you in the game.

An open-world fighting/stealth game ...  , where can I place my pre-order?

[Kataliahh]

An open-world fighting/stealth game ...  , where can I place my pre-order?

Hahah it'll be a long way to go before you'd be able to preorder anything as I'm only just starting to finalize the kind of story and I'm only just thinking of gameplay mechanics and that sort of stuff. I was thinking of releasing a free demo of a portion of the game after I finish it (the tutorial gladiatorial section) which should hopefully bring some sort of awareness of my game I'm making. It'll be ages before i probably finish the game though as I'm the only person working on it.

[Dragon-Archon]

Hahah it'll be a long way to go before you'd be able to preorder anything as I'm only just starting to finalize the kind of story and I'm only just thinking of gameplay mechanics and that sort of stuff. I was thinking of releasing a free demo of a portion of the game after I finish it (the tutorial gladiatorial section) which should hopefully bring some sort of awareness of my game I'm making. It'll be ages before i probably finish the game though as I'm the only person working on it.

Yeah that makes sense, still it's someting to look forward to. Do you know for which platform(s) the game will be? That could work, there are hardly any demos available in the last few years. If it's an open-world maybeyou could include some free roaming in the demo or a stealth part and end it with a big cliffhanger. 

 

I've always wanted to develop games too, too bad I'm a complete noob when it comes to programming. Also I'm surprised no one else has posted here.

[Kataliahh]

Yeah that makes sense, still it's someting to look forward to. Do you know for which platform(s) the game will be? That could work, there are hardly any demos available in the last few years. If it's an open-world maybeyou could include some free roaming in the demo or a stealth part and end it with a big cliffhanger. 

 

I've always wanted to develop games too, too bad I'm a complete noob when it comes to programming. Also I'm surprised no one else has posted here.

I've been thinking of making it for PC and PS4, but depending on when I release it'll probably be releasing on the consoles after (PS5, XBox 4). Part of the reason for this is because I want to make a game that is better than all of the games that come out in terms of gameplay and stuff and that requires time and effort and stuff, especially since I'm a 1 man team at the moment and I don't expect to have 100 people working for me by the end of it.

There will definitely be a demo of some sort. I'm shocked that there are hardly any demos that are released nowadays as they help developers to solve issues with the game and stuff.

[Dragon-Archon]

I've been thinking of making it for PC and PS4, but depending on when I release it'll probably be releasing on the consoles after (PS5, XBox 4). Part of the reason for this is because I want to make a game that is better than all of the games that come out in terms of gameplay and stuff and that requires time and effort and stuff, especially since I'm a 1 man team at the moment and I don't expect to have 100 people working for me by the end of it.

There will definitely be a demo of some sort. I'm shocked that there are hardly any demos that are released nowadays as they help developers to solve issues with the game and stuff.

Ok, I can't wait . Dust: An Elysian Tail is also developed by a 1 man team and it was a big hit. If you need help with anything, let me know. I'll gladly help if I can.

Edited January 26, 2015 by Dragon-Archon

[Kataliahh]

Ok, I can't wait . Dust: An Elysian Tail is also developed by a 1 man team and it was a big hit. If you need help with anything, let me know. I'll gladly help if I can.

Thanks, I'd be glad if you did

If anyone else has any ideas or opinions it'd be great to hear them.