Hemiak Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 From world of war craft. A man runs up and yells "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!" I told him "relax man, you're two tents" What do you call a snarky felon walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Woman athlete goes to doctor: "Doctor, I think im growing a penis as a result of taking steroids!" "anabolic?" "no, just a penis..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oobedoob S Benubi Posted May 31, 2017 Author Share Posted May 31, 2017 On 26-5-2017 at 9:06 AM, RisingSenpai616 said: I have a literally endless supply of these. I'm practically addicted to learning bad jokes that make people groan. Same here! A man walks into a dentist's and says: "I think I'm a moth." The dentist says: "Well if you think you're a moth, why come to the dentist?" The man says: Spoiler "Well, the light was on." A man walks into a doctor's and says: "Doctor, I feel like I don't exist." The doctor says: Spoiler "Next please!" A man walks into a doctor's and says: "Doctor, I have pain everywhere. It hurts when I press on my head, it hurst when I press on my chest, it hurst when I press on my stomach..." The doctor says: Spoiler "Your finger is broken." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShonenCat Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 A mushroom walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey, we don't serve mushrooms here!" The mushroom replies... "Why? I'm a fungi!" What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite! What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything!" What did one wall say to the other wall? "Meet ya at the corner!" Why did the chicken cross road, roll in the mud and cross the road again? He was a dirty double crosser! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oobedoob S Benubi Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 7 minutes ago, ShonenCat said: What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Reveal hidden contents "Make me one with everything!" I'm almost afraid to admit it but I think I don't get it... What did the ocean say to the beach? Spoiler Nothing. It just waved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedPage17 Posted June 8, 2017 Share Posted June 8, 2017 I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150,000 matches. Spoiler Now I don't need the lighter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PooPooBlast Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 I won't take credit for this because it was from Yakuza 0 Want to avoid dangerous cults? just practice safe sects! How do you think we're going to make it to Mars? we'll planet! Seen this from a poster in front of my chemistry professor's office Name's bond... ionic bond, taken not shared 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oobedoob S Benubi Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 I wanted to be a baker. Spoiler But I couldn't raise the dough. If Jesus could walk on water, Spoiler can he swim on land? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMDE Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 Hang out in chat, and you'll hear me tell some quite often. Promise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PooPooBlast Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 (edited) What do you call a cow with random spasm attacks? beef jerky What do miners like to listen to? "Coaldplay" A cow was knighted by the Queen of England He became known as Sir Loin Edited August 4, 2018 by PooPooBlast 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oobedoob S Benubi Posted August 4, 2018 Author Share Posted August 4, 2018 (edited) When I was driving past the auditorium, I didn't see the crosswalk and I accidentally hit and drove over a kid carrying a drum kit. Spoiler Ba-dum tss. Edited August 4, 2018 by Ezio Auditore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PooPooBlast Posted August 4, 2018 Share Posted August 4, 2018 1 hour ago, Ezio Auditore said: When I was driving past the auditorium, I didn't see the crosswalk and I accidentally hit and drove over a kid carrying a drum kit. Reveal hidden contents Ba-dum tss. Lol your joke reminded me of this which I saw online: What did the boob say to the other boob? you're my breastfriend. Badum-tits 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceofjade Posted August 7, 2018 Share Posted August 7, 2018 Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great atmosphere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yukiko Miyamoto Posted April 19, 2023 Share Posted April 19, 2023 (edited) Why did the coffee call the police? Spoiler It got mugged. Edited April 19, 2023 by Kasumi Amari Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jelly Soup Posted April 21, 2023 Share Posted April 21, 2023 (edited) I came up with this a few years ago, you all tell me if I'm missing the mark here. What did the chair say when it stubbed it's toe? Spoiler COUCH! Edited April 23, 2023 by Jelly Soup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s3lf_loath1ng Posted April 21, 2023 Share Posted April 21, 2023 What does James Bond’s doorbell sound like? Dong. Ding Dong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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