Prison Break: Season five rant [spoilers]

[Super-Fly Spider-Guy]

I probably didn't need to do a new topic for this, but then, I also don't need to dig up an old ass one that's been dormant for years now.

 

Season five. It's happening, it's real, and it's already nearly over.

 

This shit was my favorite show in the day, and I rewatched most of it a while back with the partner and honestly, it not only doesn't hold up, but it's clear that I was just a 9 year old who wanted to feel like he was smarter than he was when he thought this show was hot shit. It's not. It's fucking stupid. I love it still, but it's fucking stupid. Season one and two are legit. Three and beyond are just unnecessary for too many reasons to list. Fuck season three and double fuck season four.

 

Season five somehow manages to piss me off more than season four, while also being the most captivating the show's been since 2006. 

 

Season four, for all it's flaws, at least gave the show as good of an ending as it could have had. Michael gave his life to save Sara's, and everyone got exonerated. Nice, all tied up and happy and hunky fucking dory. Then, over half a decade later, the news breaks that it's coming back. In the two years from the news breaking to now, the episodes actually being out there, it was all speculation. What, why, how, what, why, how, over and fucking over. It made no sense, how would Michael come back? Did Michael really fake his death, would they REALLY be that fucking lazy? Look, I get it, it's a stupid show with more plot holes than I have swears in my vocabulary, but you don't need to treat the audience like grade two dickhead children, they wouldn't do that, right?

 

Wrong.

 

Season five falls back onto familiar traits every chance it gets. Sometimes something as simple as a little call back to an old character, sometimes something as obvious as Michael having tattoos for some fucking reason, which I hope they explain in the finale or else why bother. Season five tries to be edgy and up to date by making ISIL the main bad guys, which I'll admit is something I would have never guess, but it's ultimately the same schtick for the millionth time, a big ass group of assholes on the hunt to get Mike and Link, as they break out of another jail together. So Michael faked his death because a rogue CIA dude basically said he would fuck him and his friends over if he didn't and whatever, simple enough, I can get down with that. But it took 4 or 5 episodes to finally get to that point. IT'S A TEN EPISODE SERIES. Sure, it's nice to see the guys again but fuck dude, don't spend literally half the time having them meet up. Anyway, so Link gets Mike out and they're on their way back to USA to fuck up the guy who fucked him, Sara's new hubby (obviously). Honestly, how they handled the husband, he's by far the best part of this revival. He's pulling all the strings, he's got the shit underhand, he's the perfect villian to go up against Michael and it's good when they FINALLY get into it all. Look. I'll get to the shit I want to yell about.

 

There's a lot of glaring problems with the series, and most can be overlooked or forgiven, but there's a couple that really fuck me, and they fuck me something insane and throw me out of the whole thing. It's hard enough at this point to buy any of it as happening, but this shit fucks me completely.

 

THEY WERE EXONERATED. They got official apologies and shit from the government for them being fucked over. Look at Lincoln here. You're telling me that the guy who was framed for the murder of the Vice President's brother, who was nearly sent to the fucking chair before being broken out, who was hunted across the country for years, wouldn't get some form of compensation? Bitch, the shit he went through, at their hands, he would be a fucking millionaire after all the bullshit that went down. The fact the series starts with him on the run from some guys he owes money to is fucking PATHETIC. This is so far from how it would go, and it's not like something they overlooked, this is obvious fucking shit a 10 year old would know to do, and it fucks me right off.

 

The guys he was running from? Abruzzi's crew. Here's one of those call backs. You think you're doing fan service? You might be, except that, I don't know, I don't think Abruzzi's son would have a hate boner for the man who was inadvertently responsible for his father breaking out of jail all those years earlier.  Seems like a crock and a half of shit to me. If anything, you'd think he'd gladly be giving Link some money, not hunting him down over a fucking debt with intent on killing him.

 

THEY WERE EXONERATED. AGAIN. So why the fuck is Sucre on a fucking cruiser doing shitty bottom of the barrel work illegally that no one does because he has a checkered past? Again, HE WAS EXONERATED. HE GOT THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT PUBLICLY SAYING HE'S ALL GOOD. And as with Link, I'd expect a nice payout, but even still, failing that, he's a free man with no criminal past, if nothing else he could make a living doing fucking talk shows, but not this. This is bullshit and my boy Sucre deserved so much better.

 

Sara moving on. Sure, it's bound to happen, but let's be real, she fucking loved Michael, hard core. And raising his kid, alone, on your own, with all you have being the memory of him sacrificing himself for you, you're not gonna fall for anyone, not for a long time. And unless it comes out that she was only sucking his dick for money and security or something, then fuck her. Fuck her for either A: moving on from Michael or B: for leading the guy on if she wasn't over Michael because as far as she knows, he's not the mastermind behind this shit.

 

THIS BULLSHIT WITH KANIEL OUTIS. How. Tell me fucking how. The Fox River 8 was the biggest manhunt in the fucking USA. Their faces were everywhere. You're gonna tell me that not even 10 years from when that shit finally ended that EVERYONE has forgot Michael's face and you can just swap him out with someone else? No. Newspapers exist, TV reports exist, all that shit with his head on it exists. There's no escaping it, and this one is really the entire series' undoing, because it just kills me. Leave him dead dickhead, you've got him operating outside of the US anyway, as far as anyone knows he is still dead. Biggest fucking bullshit ever.

 

There's so much more to complain about, but it's getting late and my hands are lazy. God I hope it doesn't get a sixth season. It doesn't deserve it, they could have redeemed the show with the fifth, but they wasted half of it and when it finally got good it was still too stupid to forgive most of the time anyway. So fuck it. Season one and two are still legit but the rest can fuck off.

 

[bruin-rocks]

Read Homer's The Odyssey and you get the same experience although better than watching season 5. 

[Jak]

Always seems like I enjoy the bad or very flawed things in life. I disagree with a few things, but i'm not looking for an argument.

[Super-Fly Spider-Guy]

On 5/29/2017 at 1:05 AM, bruin-rocks said:

Read Homer's The Odyssey and you get the same experience although better than watching season 5. 

Actually, that was a major part of my year 10 like 5 years ago... shame year 10 was a gap year for me, since I moved interstate and showed up like eight times.

 

On 5/29/2017 at 2:16 AM, Jak said:

Always seems like I enjoy the bad or very flawed things in life. I disagree with a few things, but i'm not looking for an argument.

Me either dude, tell me what you disagree with. I wanna see the other side, not argue it. I said how much I used to love this show, and I really want to get into the new one, and it is good, there's just a few things that irk the hell out of me, but if there's a way around them dude, share it with me please.

[ReverieCode]

I agree with a lot of what was said by the OP.

 

Spoilers galore ahead! Be careful.

 

I binge watched the whole show around two years ago and overall it was a great experience, though there is a pretty obvious decline in quality from Season 3 onwards. As far as I understand, Season 3 got hit by the 2007-08 WGA strike, which sucks because the starting point was actually cool (I mean, it starts getting a bit far fetched that all of them happen to be in this other prison, including Mahone and Bellick... but still, this is a show called Prison Break). But yeah, that season sort of came and went... and then it feels like Season 4 was left to deal with the resulting chaos, and it was a bit weird compared to the masterpieces that were 1 and 2. Still enjoyable overall and I liked my time spent with the show (including The Final Break). Only thing I really disapproved of was the last scene of the finale, which was all of a sudden and... unnecessary?

 

Then came Season 5, and after watching it, Seasons 3 and 4 are kinda better when compared, lol. It had a really strong start and it seemed like a media return that was bound to success... but then the storyline started to falter, and it all went downhill very fast. There are too many silly decisions in the writing and it really requires you to turn your brain off for a moment, otherwise you won't enjoy it. I wish they made it more about the prison somehow, but it evolved into this game of cat and mouse with a villain that was completely underwhelming and had dumb motivations. Things like Sucre showing up out of nowhere on his freighter... Michael being pretty much a God that knows everything (greatly exaggerated compared to past seasons) and then there's the whole story of T-Bag... no reason for that prosthetic hand at all, and he has a son who was half the world away, yet Michael found him... I don't know, it just didn't cut it for me.

 

Overall, I'm still OK with the Prison Break run, and the main reason for this is how incredibly good Seasons 1 and 2 were. I like the end scene, and despite my issues with the season, it fixes the problem I had with how it had ended before this return - giving it a better ending after all they went through. It was good to see the characters again, but the storyline felt more like fan fiction at times.

 

On 2017-5-28 at 5:16 PM, Jak said:

Always seems like I enjoy the bad or very flawed things in life. I disagree with a few things, but i'm not looking for an argument.

 

I felt this way when I watched Batman v Superman. Yes, I liked it - but walked out of the cinema to a massive amount of people that hated it (I didn't see anything critic-related before going). It felt weird, especially because I think there was a lot of "bandwagon" hate and I feel like this is happening a lot, especially with the bigger blockbusters (not meaning to disrespect people that actually didn't enjoy it for actual reasons, but I think it can't be denied that people jump on the hate/love train lately, as if there is this huge agreement to like or dislike something).

 

Honestly, voicing your views on media should never lead to an argument. If anything, it could lead to some discussions that make us all open minded - I swear I've seen negative reviews of BvS with points I agreed with, that made me think "actually, yeah, that's a good point". And I've seen a lot of good comments about Prison Break Season 5 as well. It makes me sick that on social media these days, if you like/dislike something, someone will likely fight you for it - but it's up to us to avoid that staying genuine and civilised, lol.

[richtayls]

I really liked how the kid got snatched from the garden, but then just appeared later on as if he hadn't been, only to end up abducted later on in the same episode anyway.  I'm guessing they had two different ideas on how to abduct him and decided to just film them both!

[bruin-rocks]

On June 18, 2017 at 6:02 PM, richtayls said:

I really liked how the kid got snatched from the garden, but then just appeared later on as if he hadn't been, only to end up abducted later on in the same episode anyway.  I'm guessing they had two different ideas on how to abduct him and decided to just film them both!

They are big believers in Quanity over Quality. 

[closertim]

So season 6 is confirmed.  Sure 1 and 2 were the best.  But 3 4 and 5 are very watchable.  

[DiegoMolinams]

I was very disappointed with season 5 

[DARKB1KE]

I already forgot how it ends...  please don't make me revisit this tragic ending to a great series. 

There was plenty of dumb moments, specifically the one you mentioned regarding the exoneration lol... they just kept doing dumb stuff.