Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in Gaming.

[liwenborg]

So now that my usual "everyday life OCD" have turned out to get pretty serious and giving me some real anxiety I'll finally have a meeting with the psychiatrist, hopefully I can get some answers there and how I should be able to move on.

 

I've always had a very light case of OCD that has been more of a charming trait than an actual disorder, which it is now. Most of my obsessions have been IRL and have never given me any trouble besides my friends thinking that I'm retarded in a fun way. Actually it have never bothered me either since I've always been happy with the "mind-pattern" that I've developed and own.

 

However since gaming have always been the best option to fill out my pastime it have turned out to be a big part of my life which have led to that some of my symptons have started to show there aswell. It's usually in RPG's but also in first-person games and to be honest I cant even mention all the weird things that I have to do, but to be fair its all the same sh*t if it starts to give you anxiety or even headache! My usual "rituals" is that I must move the camera in-game to a certain spot and have it there until I feel satisfied and am able to move on. But the worst one have to be when I'm playing a game with 'character creation'. I always end up playing some hours in, and then I just get so annoyed with something that I could have done better in the 'character creation-menu' and usually it happens once or twice until I feel like it's perfect for me. It can be a facial value or a stat/attribute/class that shouldn't have been picked in the firstplace or the other way around. But now it have got so severe that I almost was unable to start Dying Light and that I'm unable, I repeat I'M UNABLE to start Bloodborne. And it have nothing to do with the characters appeal but me telling myself I don't have the right feeling for that certain playtrough. It's so frustrating right now since I'm still able to take in the totally outstanding aura, scenery and mechanics thats in the game but I just can't play it. I've started countless amounts of times over and over again but nothing helps.

 

Good thing though is that letting other people know and explaining about the problem reliefs some of the stress for the time being. I've been reading about it for a time now and it looks like it's quite common in gaming, at least the lighter symptons for example having obsessions with completion rate or choosing a name etc. I really hope someone here want to share their experiences and that some having tips for what one can do to make ones mind focusing on more important stuff, thanks!

 

 

[RabbiAndy]

I have a few:

 

If I press too much of R1/R2 I try pressing a lot of L1/L2 to balance it.

Even if my health/ammo is full, I always pick up those items so they don't lie around on the map.

   -   Going off that, if my inventory is full and ammo is lying around, sometimes I purposely empty a weapon so I can reload then pick up the ammo.

When creating a character, I almost always avoid an asymmetrical design (tattoo on one side, one piece of armor on the other, etc.)

In Mortal Kombat arcade ladder, I always alternate fatalities each match and never do the same one twice in a row.

[PleaseHoldOn]

I have no idea what the difference would be between OCD and simply being picky... but I have to think I'm an OCD candidate.

 

I've spent the last four months, since I got the PS4, (literally every day) thinking about if I should go forward making the Playstation or my PC my primary gaming platforms.  It's gotten to the point where I'm not really playing games on either because I spend so much time thinking about it.  Weighing the pro's and con's.  I have more pride in my PC because I built it myself, and the games are cheaper, and the games that run well look nicer.  But the Playstation has a larger physical library and buying games at the store is fun, there's no question to "will this new game be able to run on my hardware"... and all of the games go to one, unified network (unlike PC where my library can be divided between Steam, Origin, uPlay, Rockstar Social Club and any number of other services).  But I've made more friends on Steam and spend a decent chunk of time each day thumbing through the activity feed looking at the cool games people are playing, comments they make, screenshots/videos they post... it's fun... there's nothing really like that on the Playstation.  But my brother games on the PS4 so it'd be worth it to pay for PSN and get a nice Playstation library going so we can play games together (he's one of the few people I'd bother actually playing games online with).  But I have more "IRL" friends that game on PC, but we don't really play that often, probably isn't worth it.  Playstation will probably last longer than Steam too, especially since everyone and their grandmother has a PC digital distribution service these days.  That's probably the safer bet.  But Divinity Original Sin looks so cool... and that's not available on the Playstation.  But I love the Uncharted series... The Last of Us, Heavy Rain and Beyond: Two Souls are three of my favorite games of all time.  And the Playstation has all of these games and any new exclusives that come out.  But I like The Stanley Parable a lot too, and Ryse Son of Rome, and Alan Wake, and others.  If I'm going to spend all my (limited) gaming time on one platform, it should be the one with the best games (for me), right?  Are trophies better than Steam achievements?  I'm not sure.  Steam achievements are about as secure as a lemonade stand tip jar, but the lack of emphasis on them on Steam makes earning them a bit more of a personal endeavor instead of just trying to tidy up my profile like I would do on old accounts of mine on PSN.  EDIT: OH!  And the Playstation is better suited to local coop and having friends over... which is possible on the PC, but less accessible.  How often do I really have people over anyways?  I'd like to have the option though.  ERG!  Could I get by without the NHL series?  They stopped making those on PC...

 

So then eventually I'll "make up my mind" one day, and go buy Dying Light for my PC.  I'll start playing, absolutely love the game... but realize it gets really laggy whenever there's fire on the screen... so, problem solved, guess I should've gotten it on the PS4.  No use playing a game that barely runs.  I buy it on the PS4... then one day I decide to tinker with the PC version and I figure out what the problem was!  I needed to futz around with my VSYNC settings.  So now I kind of want to play it on PC.  But I've already gotten further on the PS4 version already, and who knows... 10 hours into the game I could hit a spot where the game has unplayably low framerates on my PC and I'll be stuck anyways.  The PS4 is the safer option, the game was built to work as perfectly as possible on the PS4, right?  On a few rare occasions a game might have a game-breaking performance issue, but not nearly as frequently as PC.  But I have more pride in my PC then some machine someone else built for me, and I'd like to "make it work".

 

It's utter, utter insanity.  I don't think I'll ever decide, because I want one to be perfect and they'll never be.  And unfortunately, I don't think I have any tips to help you focus your energy better.

 

 

EDIT: Kind of seems like, reading this, that the Playstation is the more favorable option... no?  What a waste of a good gaming PC though.

Edited April 1, 2015 by PleaseHoldOn

[skiptracing]

My sister has OCD in real life and towards gaming too. Things like trophy completion irritate her. Also the thing you said about creation also reminded me of the time when she spent hours making her GTA character. It's pretty bad but it's getting better since she started taking prozac. Does your psychiatrist give you any pills to take? I'm sure that will help with the OCD. She started taking her pills a year or two ago but still has a long way to go. 

[EmmettXIV]

Interesting. I guess my OCD is completion, stats, trophy timestamps, the character creations, customizations. 

I guess tips i would give would be that you can always start a new game, if your truly unhappy with your game. Make multiple save datas so if you make a mistake, you can always load. Take your time in the beginning of games like with the creations until your really happy with what you have. Sometimes the best thing is just casually play, don't take it so serious, make the most funny character you can come up with, mess with all the options and you might actually come up with something you enjoy. FUN

[CandiBunni]

I've had a serious case of OCD for many years. With the help of my Bestie, I've helped to keep it more under control, but I still have some rather intense moments, both gaming and non-gaming related.

As far as gaming related habits go...

 

• If I lay down my controller, whether it be on my lap, or on my desk, I sometimes feel the need to pick it up and set it back down from anywhere between four to sixteen times (which would be four times... well, four times).
• If I accidentally turn the camera (and this was most often in PS Home), I feel the need to rotate it back once, and then once more, to "make up for" that accidental turn and have a more "positive" turn.
• In some games, I open and close the menus, over and over (four to sixteen times as with my controller), until it "feels right".
• If I accidentally go down a certain path in a game, then just like with my camera, I'll go back the opposite way and make a full rotation before going down the path I wanted.

Which of these and how often I do them depends a lot on my mood. If I'm particularly stressed, anxious, or depressed, then they're far more likely to happen.

[liwenborg]

I've had a serious case of OCD for many years. With the help of my Bestie, I've helped to keep it more under control, but I still have some rather intense moments, both gaming and non-gaming related.

As far as gaming related habits go...

 

• If I lay down my controller, whether it be on my lap, or on my desk, I sometimes feel the need to pick it up and set it back down from anywhere between four to sixteen times (which would be four times... well, four times).
• If I accidentally turn the camera (and this was most often in PS Home), I feel the need to rotate it back once, and then once more, to "make up for" that accidental turn and have a more "positive" turn.
• In some games, I open and close the menus, over and over (four to sixteen times as with my controller), until it "feels right".
• If I accidentally go down a certain path in a game, then just like with my camera, I'll go back the opposite way and make a full rotation before going down the path I wanted.

This is the exactly how I have it, only my number is 3 and often I repeat back and forward 3x3 times in the menu also until it feels right! But I totally understand with the way you described about the controller and camera that it needs to be give that positive feel until you're satisfied!

 

Oh god, and if you are trying to fight it, it gonna be in your consious until you need to start it all over from scrap! Hahaha we are so retarded, but appreciated your answer so much! Thank you 

 

[QuinlanLJ]

I'm honestly scared of OCD. I myself have an innocent OCD like the volume on my TV has to have an even number, whenever I know I did something to receive a trophy I must make a trophy pop sound before the trophy pops (I know that's silly ). It isn't been worse than that *knock on wood*, but I am genuinely afraid it might get worse. Actually my biggest problem is even numbers or should I say odd numbers. But for that, thanks goes to my girlfriend as she has problems with them and I got it from her

My girlfriend actually had some worse cases of OCD, sometime still telling me the "voices in her head" tell her to do something or something bad might happen. And I get her as I had something like that a couple of years ago. I think her OCD started because of her depression, she keeps thinking too much, too much negativity. But she is getting better about it and she says it's cause of me as I always come back with some positivity, so that makes me happy

Although I still have to kiss her twice instead of once ... even numbers and all that I guess it's not always bad?

 

But yeah, not much gaming OCD just yet, hopefully never. Although my completion rate must be above 50% so I can feel good

 

Now, I know this is hard to do. But just try not doing what you think you have to. Just say fuck it. It's all in your head, your mind is powerful and if it can "enslave" you like that, you can cut yourself free of it. All the power is on you, don't let the fucking OCD win

Edited April 1, 2015 by QuinlanLJ

[Ben]

I was wondering if it can be consider OCD whenever i create a new account (PS3,PC,XBOX for example) and i'm never satisfied after a while by the new ID cause i think it looks weird,not good enough so i've to restart and make sure it fits my expectations .

[liwenborg]

Hahaha omg stumbled upon this IGN-comment , oh dear

 

"My OCD with gaming is crippling, to a point where I can't play more than 30 minutes without a full blown panic attack. I hate it, so much. Gaming use to be my life, I grew up on video games, played MMORPGs which are my favourite. Played the TES series, loved it. But now when I try play games like World of Warcraft I worry I'll do something that will get me banned, or if my mouse highlights something I'll worry a small glitch would have occured. My OCD is basically a huge worry of glitches and cheating. It really is completely crippling. I've got a level 90 then deleted him just because of my mind telling me he was bugged. It fucking sucks."

 

I have no idea what the difference would be between OCD and simply being picky... but I have to think I'm an OCD candidate.

 

I've spent the last four months, since I got the PS4, (literally every day) thinking about if I should go forward making the Playstation or my PC my primary gaming platforms. 

I guess if that your struggles are that you must decide a main platform for the sake of your mind wanting to have something to call the "main-platform", you might be a candidate. But if its more an decision between being economic or other reasonable factors I don't think you have anything to worry about  

[KindIiest]

I was wondering if it can be consider OCD whenever i create a new account (PS3,PC,XBOX for example) and i'm never satisfied after a while by the new ID cause i think it looks weird,not good enough so i've to restart and make sure it fits my expectations .

I'm the same way.

[DeltaThe1st]

I have a few:

 

If I press too much of R1/R2 I try pressing a lot of L1/L2 to balance it.

Even if my health/ammo is full, I always pick up those items so they don't lie around on the map.

   -   Going off that, if my inventory is full and ammo is lying around, sometimes I purposely empty a weapon so I can reload then pick up the ammo.

When creating a character, I almost always avoid an asymmetrical design (tattoo on one side, one piece of armor on the other, etc.)

In Mortal Kombat arcade ladder, I always alternate fatalities each match and never do the same one twice in a row.

 

I am the exact same especially with the button balancing. I mostly do that with R3 and L3. 

[starcrunch061]

I have to pick up treasure chests and loot. I just platted Warrior Within, and even though I had all of the collectables in my first playthrough, when I saw those treasure chests, I still had to open them.

[Goro]

OCD is mainly responsible for the trophy hunter inside me.

[Kashiyuka]

Whenever I play a game with an ammo count I always have to make the ammo a number that satisfies me (mainly multiples of five) such as 55, 60, 75, etc.  I remember obsessing over it as a kid playing Resident Evil 4, shooting, reloading, shooting and reloading until I get the number I wanted before continuing.  Haha it doesn't take over too much but it is a random little OCD thing I have with games like that.

 

I also try to keep the volume on the TV at an even number, but that's about the extent of my slightly OCD habits, nothing overkill.  It's interesting how we do these things, I wonder what it is in our mind that makes us strive for that worthless perfection  

[siuilarun]

In FPS, I compulsively reload after every kill, even if I'm in the middle of a much larger fire-fight, as soon as what I'm shooting at dies, I reload.

[Royalredpanda]

I've had a serious case of OCD for many years. With the help of my Bestie, I've helped to keep it more under control, but I still have some rather intense moments, both gaming and non-gaming related.

As far as gaming related habits go...

 

• If I lay down my controller, whether it be on my lap, or on my desk, I sometimes feel the need to pick it up and set it back down from anywhere between four to sixteen times (which would be four times... well, four times).
• If I accidentally turn the camera (and this was most often in PS Home), I feel the need to rotate it back once, and then once more, to "make up for" that accidental turn and have a more "positive" turn.
• In some games, I open and close the menus, over and over (four to sixteen times as with my controller), until it "feels right".
• If I accidentally go down a certain path in a game, then just like with my camera, I'll go back the opposite way and make a full rotation before going down the path I wanted.

Which of these and how often I do them depends a lot on my mood. If I'm particularly stressed, anxious, or depressed, then they're far more likely to happen.

 

I also do the first two things that you mentioned! Other habits I have are the controller has to be on a flat surface when I pick it up/put it down and the volume to the tv has to be an even number. They also get worse if I'm in a negative feeling. Nothing too extreme.... yet.

[PleaseHoldOn]

I guess if that your struggles are that you must decide a main platform for the sake of your mind wanting to have something to call the "main-platform", you might be a candidate. But if its more an decision between being economic or other reasonable factors I don't think you have anything to worry about

 

I don't have any financial reason to be so indecisive, I make more than enough to support either hobby... or both if I wanted.  I just think it'd be stupid if I got into the habit of buying multi-platform games for both, like I did with Dying Light, so I've been coming up with a million pro's and con's with both to decide which is my "main platform" that I buy my multi-platforms for.   And it hasn't been working!

Edited April 2, 2015 by PleaseHoldOn

[Riruyoki]

I have created more then 30 unique identities (not just PSN) in the last 10 months. I have completed (%100) The Last of Us on 3 different accounts. Somehow, I end up making a mistake (not necessarily related to gaming). And most of the time I'm not even entirely sure what the mistake was, but it just doesn't feel right to keep that identity anymore. I proceed to find a new unique name, and create all the necessary accounts. It's gotten to the point where I sold my PS3 and Vita a while ago. I had decided that I would abandon gaming completely. But I ended up buying a PS4, 3 days after I've sold my old consoles. I feel incredibly toxic, and it hurts to know that I'm depending on fantasies (games, anime, movies...) to keep going. What I fear the most is that I will abandon my current identity as well. All that progress gone, just like that...

 

Now that I think about it, ever since depression took over, I've never been able to make any real progress on MMORPGs I used to play. I always ended up deleting my character, and creating a new one...

 

Hopefully, I will realize that I'm dwelling on insignificant matters. So far keeping things simple have helped. I've forsaken PC gaming completely, and I'm trying to limit the amount of games I play at a time on PS4 to 3. Maybe I'll be able to keep the control this time.

 

Perhaps I should see a therapist, but I can't really afford dozens of sessions. Which is the amount of sessions my former therapist said that I would need, to make any progress. Perhaps I'll never break this cycle. You know what's really odd? No matter what kind of psychological illness test I take online, the results are devastating (Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, OCD, you name it...) . Either those tests are phony, or I am truly messed up.

[Aela]

I'd say I used to have OCD. For example, I'd open and close a door so many times before I'd think I was satisfied with doing it right, and then upon thinking I was satisfied, I'd turn unsatisfied and just end up repeating it again. I'd also do other things which I repeated numerous amounts of times until I thought I was satisfied enough with doing it in the perfect way, but again when I thought I was satisfied enough, this just ended up with me not being happy and repeating them over-and-over. It's really difficult for me to explain - this also happened with thoughts; I'd have to repeat something back to myself in my head over-and-over, for example, I remember once that it was a line of song lyrics

 

It sounds rather stupid, I guess. But it was so horrible and depressing to the point where I could never enjoy myself, and when I didn't deal with these "problems", they just built up and up, and in the end I had a list of things I had to then go and do. It literally resulted in me crying myself to sleep at night. My family never understood, and neither did I. They just thought I was being a nuisance by repeating myself, and would tell me to stop it, but it was more in-depth than that, and they didn't understand that. I had no one to help me, I only had myself; I felt very isolated, and it made the situation a lot worse. But I've now thankfully overcome OCD, and I'm still proud of myself for overcoming it. One night whilst in bed, crying, I told myself that it was really just stupid (I'm aware it's not) and that I wouldn't let it control me, that I was in control of my own mind, and if I didn't like doing something, I'd stop it. I told myself that once I woke up the next again morning, I would stop it - and that's what happened. It did stop, it no longer affected me, I had overcome it. I was just... so happy... I couldn't describe the gratification that overwhelmed me

 

Only numerous years later had I diagnosed what I had. Many people use the term "OCD" very loosely and confuse it with OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder), which is to be very pernickety, clean, organised etc - that's what I now have. I have OCPD towards everything, and I love it, because it just feels so good for everything to be perfect

 

In terms of gaming, I have OCPD. Not OCD. But yeah, this includes having inventories being all perfectly organised etc (this was a major pain with Skyrim), and well, also attaining trophies!

Edited April 13, 2015 by Aela