Thoughts on Social Anxiety

[Laura1192]

I don't feel like making a new thread so I'll just post in my old thread. 

 

I used to love gaming when I was young, but ever since I've been introduced to multiplayer things have been different. At least that's where I put the blame on. I get sad when I don't win, get frustrated with the fact that I'm too scared using a mic and there are barely any trophies to be earned online.

The last thing which I mentioned might seem weird, but when I get a trophy it feels like I've accomplished something. Yes I realise it doesn't get me anyway further in life but I just like the fact I achieved something. 

 

Another thing bothering me is my trophy list. I'd love to play one game and focus on that, but I just can't keep track on what to play first now, since I already started so many things at the same time. 

I just wish I could go back to the old days. Playing single player games, and enjoying them. Of course I'd love to still have friends online and talk to them while playing games. But it's just all so frustrating. I've already lost so many things that were dear to me, like enjoying to read, draw and watching movies. I don't want to lose the fun I have(/had) while playing games.

 

What I'd love to do is to make a fresh start, make an account on which I have fun while playing games. Would be awesome to actually play all my games and actually finish them. And grabbing lots of trophies along the way too of course! 

 

I'd love your opinion on this. Have you ever created a new account for the same (or comparable) reason as stated above? What would you do?

[DEMON]

Do whatever makes you feel better. Personally I have never made a new account apart from ones for different regions. I really don't give a fuck what shape my trophy list is in. I play games for fun. Not for trophies.

[Redgrave]

 

I don't feel like making a new thread so I'll just post in my old thread. 

 

I used to love gaming when I was young, but ever since I've been introduced to multiplayer things have been different. At least that's where I put the blame on. I get sad when I don't win, get frustrated with the fact that I'm too scared using a mic and there are barely any trophies to be earned online.

The last thing which I mentioned might seem weird, but when I get a trophy it feels like I've accomplished something. Yes I realise it doesn't get me anyway further in life but I just like the fact I achieved something. 

 

I say that's a pretty normal feeling really. I used to play MP a lot but the games I played them with either got boring after a while or I got tired of the people. I'd rather do co-op stuff but there aren't a lot of games that really stick out to me that have good co-op. But now that PS+ is required for MP I'm more or less just sticking with single-player stuff especially since I doubt there would be a good MP game that keeps me hooked for long. I know there's the discounts and stuff but most of it doesn't interest me anyway. Now I just use the party chat for anyone that wants to talk.

 

But I wouldn't start over just because of that. I mean I have a lot of games I won't be able to Platinum on my list but I feel like the ones I have now make up for it. And using party chat while playing single-player stuff does just as good for me. You might not be playing the same game but it's something.

[thegirlruka]

What I'd love to do is to make a fresh start, make an account on which I have fun while playing games. Would be awesome to actually play all my games and actually finish them. And grabbing lots of trophies along the way too of course! 

 

I'd love your opinion on this. Have you ever created a new account for the same (or comparable) reason as stated above? What would you do?

 

Is there any reason that you can't finish or even abandon the games on this account? Personally, I have no problem having incomplete games on my account. I view it as a record of what I've enjoyed at different points in time. At the end of the day it's your list and if a new account would make you happy, you can create a new account.

[Laura1192]

Again, thanks for the replies.

Maybe making a new account is a bit too drastic indeed, but for some reason it's what I'd like. 

 

The thing is I just want to start over, I wish I could start over my life (if that sounds recognisable to anyone). But you know, basicly you can't. And I think the best thing to do is not to be imagining the things you would change but to start now with the changes you'd like to make. 

As in life, that should also be on PSN I guess? Start working on my completion rate a bit. Trying not to care about the trophy list not being full of platinums and working on the games one step at a time.

 

Your answers made me think that I shouldn't always take the easier road. Thanks people

[QuinlanLJ]

I've had problems with social anxiety and panic attacks for a while.

My social anxiety problems started from since I left primary school. It was the first time I actually realized I was going to meet new people in a new school when I went to a secondary school. And when I got there, a bit of bullying happened in the first year and that helped me develop my social anxiety. Now, I've experienced bullying in primary school, but I've had the back of my best friends and my sister, who was insanely popular in primary school, so anyone that messed with me, messed with her school mates who were bad mofos But I didn't have that luck in secondary school. I became really shy because of that and it started to get hard for me to talk to people I'm meeting for the first time, I hate talking to people I don't know over the phone (thankfully I can order a pizza over the internet now ), and it's hard for me to talk to strangers on PSN through the mic. So I kinda feel like I'm missing out on some cool people I could be great friends with. I have a mic, but I hate to use it. It really sucks. Maybe I should try one day, I want to play co-op games, I want to play with people I like (I have two friends who own a PS3, but they only like playing SP), I want to share the fun of playing games with other people damn it!

 

Now, I should explain what I do to battle my social anxiety. Well ... I just pretend I don't have it. I try to act cool and relaxed and it helps. The people I'm talking don't notice that deep inside I'm scared shitless when I'm talking to them and through a bit of time of pretending, I honestly relax for real. The hardest part is to make myself meet new people. It helps that I realized that I have nothing to lose. If I'm meeting a new person, I take that as experience for the future when I meet another new person. Let's say I'm farming for exp to level up so I can challenge the boss to progress the story

It is interesting, It's actually harder for me to talk to a person over the mic, than to talk to someone in real life. I don't know why that is, maybe because I don't have much experience talking to people if I don't see them? Maybe I should take my own advice and just start farming that exp over the mic. Actually, I think I'll do that. Fuck it. Oh, yeah. Fuck it. That's the word you should use when you have a challenge in front of you! Just say fuck it, what ever happens, happens! Bad experience is still experience and it will let you grow as a person!

 

Oh, I mentioned I've had problems with panic attacks. About four years ago, I started having accelerated heart beat, my primary fear kicked in and I though I was gonna die any second. When this happened to me the second time (the first time, my mom managed to calm me down) and I honestly thought I was gonna die, I asked my sister and her husband to take me to the E.R. because my mom wasn't home. There they said there was nothing wrong with me, that I'm healthy and I may be having some problems with my nerves. So they recommended I take some pills every day to calm me down. My mom wouldn't let me take those, because she had experience with them and said it will only make everything worse. I'm glad she did that, because further down the line, I realized that pills, any sort of pills, should only be taken as a last resort, only if you think you have no other way to go. How did I figure that out? Well about half a year in to my panic attacks, I met my girlfriend. She suffers from asthma, social anxiety, depression, panic attacks ... and she really helped me. Actually, we help each other. We both have the panic attacks to the minimum, we are both fighting social anxiety together, she doesn't take antidepressants any more, she even said to me yesterday, that she doesn't cut herself anymore because I helped her. That actually made me really happy and glad I found her. Because not only did she help me, I helped her, and that is one of the best feelings in the world. So if you don't know what to do, find someone that is empathic and can get you. Trust me, having someone have your back makes everything so much easier and you can take on the world that way, you just have to believe it

[Laura1192]

Hello QuinIanLJ, thanks so much for your hopefull post!

I also have had the same kind of experiences at school but sadly didn't have my sister there like you did. The thing you mention about not liking to talk to people through the phone might be linear to the issue we both have regarding using the mic. For me it also is much easier to talk to someone in real life rather then digitally (phone, mics etc). I think it has to do with the fact that you can't see one another, and therefore can't judge if some is sarcastic, sincere etc. 

I also feel like I'm missing out on having more fun while player games and talking through people at the same time. Like I see other people in party's but I'm too scared to start one myself: what if someone will join! Even though that is the purpose of a party.

 

The comparison you make with gaming and real life sounds so true. Like you gain XP each time you socialize, and that makes you level up in the end. Even if it is bad experience it still is experience (XP). Maybe slightly less than a normal 'level' of socializing gives, but in the end they help you to level up too!

And you are also right on saying fuck it, whatever happens, well, happens. 

 

I'm glad you found your girlfriend and that she helps you battle your anxiety. It's also great she found you, and that you make her feel better. My boyfriend also has certain issues, he for example has cronical depression. But he can't relate with my social anxiety. He is a very social person and has never had problems with that. But we have each other's backs all the time, and are there for eachother. 

So I can understand how important your girlfriend is for you, and you are to her

[Laura1192]

Sorry for the double post, but this is something different then my previous post.

 

I'm done with being so insecure all my life. Done with my doubts, anxiety and so on...

Today I made a list with my couselor about certain things I want to work on and wish to achieve in the year 2016. It won't be an easy year for me, or actually now because as of today my life will change. But not too much, I mean, one step at a time...

 

We also spoke about PSN (yes I spoke about playstation in a mental health institute) and we agreed on the fact that a new 'life' comes with a new account. Throw away all the negativity, including Laura1192 and let the new Laura 'rise from the flames' as:

 

 

Like QuinIanLJ said, fuck it! Just go for it, because in the end I don't want to waste that one and only chance I get to be alive. 

 

I'm posting this here because I want to thank you for because supportive, even if it is by only reading my post.

 

If there ever is anything I can do for one of you people I'm here for you

Also, people that added me, I'll send you a message and new friend request if that's fine with you. Speak soon!

 

Laura

 

EDIT: For several ressons I decided to go back to my old account again, so it still is Laura1192

Edited November 21, 2015 by Laura1192

[xZoneHunter]

I think everybody has a bit of social anxiety in them. Personally i'm not good with talking in a group. My personality will change from normal, outgoing to timid when i'm hanging out with more than 3-4 people. 

 

It certainly is a common problem. But it seems that you've already found some solutions

[skelfilegur]

I've been suffering from anxiety issues for my whole life really. Good to know there are people like me out there.

[StorySays_]

I'm extremely paranoid of my accent. (Scottish)

I never speak on the microphone to people I don't know and sometimes my close friends as well. One time a guy told me on my Youtube video that "your voice gave me cancer.", that was the last youtube video I made that only included my voice that I ever made.

 

I've got OCD and social anxiety as well. My anxiety isn't as bad as my OCD.

[DEMON]

I'm extremely paranoid of my accent. (Scottish)

I never speak on the microphone to people I don't know and sometimes my close friends as well. One time a guy told me on my Youtube video that "your voice gave me cancer.", that was the last youtube video I made that only included my voice that I ever made.

 

I've got OCD and social anxiety as well. My anxiety isn't as bad as my OCD.

 

YouTube is full of a lot of jerks/kids with nothing better to do than insult people on it.  Everyone who posts videos up on YouTube has had some negative treatment sometime.  You aren't the only one so don't let that person turn you away from doing something you want to do.

[QuinlanLJ]

Sorry for the double post, but this is something different then my previous post.

 

I'm done with being so insecure all my life. Done with my doubts, anxiety and so on...

Today I made a list with my couselor about certain things I want to work on and wish to achieve in the year 2016. It won't be an easy year for me, or actually now because as of today my life will change. But not too much, I mean, one step at a time...

 

We also spoke about PSN (yes I spoke about playstation in a mental health institute) and we agreed on the fact that a new 'life' comes with a new account. Throw away all the negativity, including Laura1192 and let the new Laura 'rise from the flames' as:

 

 

Like QuinIanLJ said, fuck it! Just go for it, because in the end I don't want to waste that one and only chance I get to be alive. 

 

I'm posting this here because I want to thank you for because supportive, even if it is by only reading my post.

 

If there ever is anything I can do for one of you people I'm here for you

Also, people that added me, I'll send you a message and new friend request if that's fine with you. Speak soon!

 

Laura

 

I'm really glad it helped. That's what communities are for, and we have one of the best communities right here at PSNProfiles Just never give up!

 

I'm extremely paranoid of my accent. (Scottish)

I never speak on the microphone to people I don't know and sometimes my close friends as well. One time a guy told me on my Youtube video that "your voice gave me cancer.", that was the last youtube video I made that only included my voice that I ever made.

 

I've got OCD and social anxiety as well. My anxiety isn't as bad as my OCD.

 

I'm going to go and say it, the Scottish accent is fucking bad ass. You should never feel paranoid about it. It also shouldn't matter what a person says about you on the internet. Some people are just like that because they are unhappy cu*ts, really isn't anything personal. Trust me, I know. I was an unhappy cu*t once. Not to the point that I would be so mean to strangers, but still, you have to understand that some idiots like to have fun by insulting people, even if they say something that isn't true. And in the end, you shuould always focus on the positives and don't give these cu*ts the satisfaction.

 

Sorry for the bad language

Edited November 20, 2015 by QuinlanLJ

[Tristan1138]

Social Anxiety is something i struggled with since the beginning it especially sucks when your family makes fun of your social anxiety

Edited November 20, 2015 by TristanTehGamer1

[Laura1192]

Zone Hunter, idk if everyone has a bit of a social anxiety in them. If I look at people close to me and tell them how I sometimes feel, they tell me that they can't relate to my problems. 

But what I do think is that people all suffer from something. Like my sister for example has no fears whatsover for people, but I know that deep inside she is very insecure. 

 

Skelfilegur, I'm sorry to hear that. But of course it is good to know that you are not alone on this. If you ever need a talk message me!

 

DraculaOpps, people can be harsh, sorry this has happened to you. Like I said before there was one guy in a party that once said I talked weird. That was the last time I spoke to a 'stranger' (someone I never talked online too before, for example on a forum). But don't let it hold you back though, as said before bad expierence is also expierence. And you shouldn't let it hold you back from doing things you love, like DEMON stated. And like other people said, the person who must've said that thing on YouTube is obviously a *bleep*. 

 

QuiIanLJ, thanks! Although I did decide to get back to my old account again. This doesn't mean that I feel worse but I have some reasons. One is that I was chosen as Battlefront Red Leader for the Dutch PS community forums and obviously need to be online, and I still have my PS+ on that account and friends from that forum on there. I'm a bit scared though because I will have to host fun nights and such but that won't be much of a problem (stay positve and keep thinking you can do it!). 

 

TristanTehGamer1, oh no that sounds bad :/ I know a bit how you feel, my family did that too when I was younger but they didn't were that serious about it. When I talked to them more often about it and many years passed so they got the feeling that it wasn't something to laugh about and is a serious matter. Have you tried explaining it to them?

[Raxnar100]

See, the people on this site are really nice people. It's why this is the only forum I think I have ever posted on. 

 

While not as extreme as some of the cases mentioned I too suffer from social anxiety. I get extremely nervous around people. Fortunately I come across as a happy, friendly person because of this, as my nervousness displays as joking and laughing at pretty much everything. Even with my close friends I struggle at times, and am only ever truly relaxed after a few beers. (Some might say too relaxed!)

 

I always try and steer clear of multi-player and find it really frustrating when forced into it for a Trophy. 

 

I keep eyeing up the PS4 lets be friends thread but think better of it. Would I actually play with anyone I made friends with!? Unlikely. Which is a shame because when forced into social situations I do tend to enjoy myself. Eventually.

 

Anyways, you are certainly not alone as the 3 pages of replies show. 

 

P.S Happy cat is happy!

[LadyTonberry]

The problem with social anxiety is that it stops you from doing new things or just meeting new people. It always causes problems if I go somewhere new or even just doing something out of my comfort zone. I'm fine with messaging but If I talk to people you barely get a word out of me, it can take days for me to talk to you normally. Plus there's the constant worrying of what you might mess up and if you should just stay quiet

[Laura1192]

Raxnar100, thank you for your reply here. Indeed, lot's of people seem to cope with it, but I'm also very happy everyone here is extremely nice and understanding. If you want to you can add me, I understand we won't be playing multiplayer together immediatly, but if you want to talk (wether it's just text chat) on PS4 you can always send me a message, even if there's something bothering you. 

And yeah, it certainly isn't grumpy cat!

 

LadyTonbery, that's very understandable! It has stopped me for years doing things I love, but also things I became to love. For example shopping, I used to never go shopping alone, and now when things are going good it even makes me happy when I go out alone. Maybe even proud in a way. 

The worrying is something I have as well. When in a conversation I tend to worry about things I want to say, like if it'd be better if I didn't say it. 

[SilkyJay86]

ahh just wanted to stop in and say you're not alone.  Takes and took a lot of courage to speak up, even regarding anxiety, so I applaud you.  as someone who's dealt with depression and anxiety it can be a lonely and dark place sometimes where you feel nobody understands.  and it's a taboo subject for most, especially those that haven't had the unfortunate experience of certain circumstances or being born different.  It's nothing to be ashamed off.  You were made how you are for a reason.    

 

stay positive, and keep hope.

Edited November 24, 2015 by SilkyJay86

[Laura1192]

ahh just wanted to stop in and say you're not alone.  Takes and took a lot of courage to speak up, even regarding anxiety, so I applaud you.  as someone who's dealt with depression and anxiety it can be a lonely and dark place sometimes where you feel nobody understands.  and it's a taboo subject for most, especially those that haven't had the unfortunate experience of certain circumstances or being born different.  It's nothing to be ashamed off.  You were made how you are for a reason.    

 

stay positive, and keep hope.

Hello, SilkyJay86. Thank you for your post. It means a lot to me (and I'm sure to others as well) that you took your time to reply and all the kind words you say. It indeed is more of a taboo subject: when you actually try to tell someone they wave it away and laugh saying "oh that's nothing".

But I'm glad this is such a nice community and everyone is so understanding

[Superbuu3]

You can overcome any problem you just need the right people around you.

 

Everyone's scared its just a question of how much.

[Tristan1138]

 

Zone Hunter, idk if everyone has a bit of a social anxiety in them. If I look at people close to me and tell them how I sometimes feel, they tell me that they can't relate to my problems. 

But what I do think is that people all suffer from something. Like my sister for example has no fears whatsover for people, but I know that deep inside she is very insecure. 

 

Skelfilegur, I'm sorry to hear that. But of course it is good to know that you are not alone on this. If you ever need a talk message me!

 

DraculaOpps, people can be harsh, sorry this has happened to you. Like I said before there was one guy in a party that once said I talked weird. That was the last time I spoke to a 'stranger' (someone I never talked online too before, for example on a forum). But don't let it hold you back though, as said before bad expierence is also expierence. And you shouldn't let it hold you back from doing things you love, like DEMON stated. And like other people said, the person who must've said that thing on YouTube is obviously a *bleep*. 

 

QuiIanLJ, thanks! Although I did decide to get back to my old account again. This doesn't mean that I feel worse but I have some reasons. One is that I was chosen as Battlefront Red Leader for the Dutch PS community forums and obviously need to be online, and I still have my PS+ on that account and friends from that forum on there. I'm a bit scared though because I will have to host fun nights and such but that won't be much of a problem (stay positve and keep thinking you can do it!). 

 

TristanTehGamer1, oh no that sounds bad :/ I know a bit how you feel, my family did that too when I was younger but they didn't were that serious about it. When I talked to them more often about it and many years passed so they got the feeling that it wasn't something to laugh about and is a serious matter. Have you tried explaining it to them?

 

i have they dont listen, they dont really care

[Laura1192]

i have they dont listen, they dont really care

 

I'm sorry about that For me it took some years, and sadly some bad expierences for them to see it. 

All I can tell you is that I'm here for you. Keep on doing the things you love, don't let your anxiety hold you back!

[CandiBunni]

I've been struggling with S.A.D, O.C.D, as well as some sympytoms of Autism or Asperger's, ever since I was a little girl.

(Just to make it clear, I'm not saying that I do have Autism or Asperger's, but rather that I've just shown a good lot of the symptoms. There has been no official diagnosis.)

I can remember as far back as daycare, when I couldn't have been older than 4 or 5 years old, and how uncomfortable I was not only around larger groups of people, but even just one or two that I didn't happen to know on some personal level. Heck, there have been times where I've had trouble even around people I am close friends with, though this isn't quite a common occurrence. I've always been quite shy and nervous in public, often times getting stressed out and anxious, and even sometimes breaking out into cold sweats. I find myself struggling to keep my worries and paranoia over who is looking at me, if they're laughing at me or talking about me, if I'm making a fool of myself, about what if I make a fool of myself, and the list goes on. I've certainly tried to do something about it. My parents have tried putting me on medication in the past, around my freshman year of high school (possibly earlier), though it never did much to help. In fact, it's arguably made things worse for me in some rather personal ways that, while I shan't mention specifics, are none the less upsetting and certainly add to the stress and anxiety I already go through.

In fact, my school life is a prime example. I've always been soft spoken, on top of the aforementioned issues, and so my teachers would usually learn rather quickly not to call on me for any form of oral or public participation in class. If ever we had some form of oral report, or a group project, they would usually assign me  a written version or individual version of said assignment to turn in on my own. While this was, in itself, a godsend, it didn't make my time in class less stressful than you might think. The number of students in my classes generally hovered somewhere around 20, so you can imagine that this certainly didn't do any good in alleviating my stress and anxiety, nor did the treatment they gave to me as a result of my being so reluctant to speak. 

This usually came in the form of someone, in the middle of class, asking me something as simple as "Why don't you talk?". Now, why they chose to ask such me such a thing, especially in front of everyone else, I haven't a clue. Regardless, when I (obviously) didn't respond, they and a lot of the other students would laugh, with me right there in the middle of it all. This only added even more to my already high levels of stress and anxiety, but it of course upset me, even angered me, to the point I absolutely despised them for it. I would also sometimes resort to feigning sickness just to get out of a day or two of school for a day of mental relief.

That's not even touching on my O.C.D which, although I'm managed to somewhat tame over the years (due in large part to my BFF/Girlfriend), still affects me on a day-to-day basis. Try as I might, I still can't help but sometimes give into these troublesome compulsions, and only stop once I finally "feel" right with how often I've done them at any given time. Some of the things that I've done because of it include:

• Stepping in and out of my doorway.
• Sitting up and down in my chair.
• Turning my telly on and off.
• Raising and lowering the volume, or switching between channels or feeds.
• Opening and closing programs, switching between internet tabs, or starting and restarting songs.

Yes, it's incredibly embarrassing not only to do these things, but to also mention them on something as public as this. I do so, however, in the hope that anyone who happens to stumble on my post might feel some sort of relief or comfort in knowing that what they do doesn't make them stupid, nor are they the only one who suffers from these problems. They're not alone, and they can get through life even with them.

Don't give up hope on finding someone who cares about you, who loves you, despite these types of problems. You can find friends, family, a significant other, who will love you all the same.

Edited November 25, 2015 by Jenni XJ-9

[Cruzinats94]

as well as some sympytoms of Autism or Asperger's, ever since I was a little girl.

 

That's not how it works, you're either on the spectrum or you're not, obviously everyone can relate to some signs of ASD, but unless you're diagnosed by someone who is qualified to do so you shouldn't identify as one.  

 

It's like saying, 'oh my back hurts today, I show some signs of not being able to walk'. That's how ridiculous it sounds when you're seeking comfort in a disorder you may not even have.

 

I don't mind having a self pity thread, but throwing around disorders like they mean nothing only fuels the stereotype people have created of ASD.

 

I'm not trying to attack you, just pointing out, being diagnosed goes a lot deeper than just reading some stuff on the internet and then coming to the conclusion that you may have this and that. 

Edited November 25, 2015 by Cruzinats94