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DrBloodmoney's Super Scientific Ranking of Games!


DrBloodmoney

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9 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

Thanks to @Copanele for putting in a request!

 

Many, MANY thanks for reviewing Alice!

I really have fond memories about this game, it's probably the first piece of media that I interacted with which put a dark spin on a classic book character (I loved Alice's Adventures in Wonderland  and Through the Looking Glass stories). I admit, I enjoyed American McGee's Alice more than "Madness Returns" despite the gameplay differences. Somehow the first game encapsulated the dread and the madness feeling a bit more, while the latter was more visually attractive, but it...kinda lost the magic?(especially the underwater level, damn that one was a slog xD ). Only the last level of Madness Returns is on par and even surpasses the first game's levels, at least in my opinion. Damn, that was one disturbing level...considering the background story.

Regardless both are amazing games, hopefully American McGee will continue his project with the 3rd installment.

 

Also dear god did Alice Madness Returns generate a ton of cosplay material :D 

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7 hours ago, grayhammmer said:

Since you brought it up during Untitled Goose Game's analysis, I want to put in a request for Donut County (a unique, charming, but dreadfully short game that I completed some time ago), though I'm not sure how that will affect my previous request of RE6.


Added with your name mate ?

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On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

results.jpg

 

high-five-icegif-25.gif

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

Lf0332b.png+  L61e76e.png

Alice: The Madness Returns

 

I'm a total sucker for anything in Lewis Carroll territory, and giving it a darker touch - and with Chris Vrenna on musical duties?? This game is tailor-made for my high school self! Madness Returns sounds like it brings an outstanding concept to the table, and that alone piques my curiosity to see just how creative the devs were able to get here. Also...

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

A child viewing adulthood through childish flights of fancy is whimsical. 
An adult viewing traumas of adulthood through childish fantasy is macabre and nightmarish.

 

Spot-on.

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

 

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My Friend Pedro

 

I remember you talking about this and sharing a gameplay vid, and it looked so wonderfully dazed and confused. And violent! Methinks this may be one of those games that hops in my cart when it starts getting good markdowns.

 

Also the fact that you ranked this below Hotline Miami 2 reminded me that at some point I'm finally gonna have to let that game bloody up my nose some?

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

 

L6143c6.png

RiffTrax: The Game

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

Casting players in the role of the riffing joke-misters,

 

Reading this intro had me excited immediately, because it somehow made me picture one of my favorite fictional games to appear on Aqua Teen Hunger Force..

 

tumblr_o5fxs87mPB1v78wfjo1_250.gif

 

..and while I'm pretty sure a game or two like that does exist, one with a trusted seal of approval would've made me quite happy.

 

You see the silly places my mind can go in an instant? Never grow up, Smevz.... ???

 

This sounds like a lot of fun! I love a good party game, and if it's based on bad movies and just general silliness, I really can't see going wrong here. Thanks, Doc!

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

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Untitled Goose Game

 

Bro I been curious about this one for a minute!! I remember a short period where it seems like everybody was playing this, and watching some gameplay on YouTube gave me one of those "haha what?" moments that didn't completely sell me on the game, but somehow only made my curiosity stronger!

 

On 8/20/2022 at 4:20 PM, DrBloodmoney said:

In some ways, Untitled Goose Game actually operates somewhere in the vicinity of that style of game to which Surgeon Simulator, Octodad or I Am Bread belong - wherein dealing with purposefully obtuse or awkward controls in a physics-based environment is a fundamental element of the game, and of the challenge. 

 

scared-terrified.gif

 

I like how you describe the score's relation to the player, and of course a playful mischief approach is always going to be a good time. Plus, you're mentioning it in the same breath as two other games you've put on my radar - The Touryst and Hoa - so I feel I've no choice but to check this out?

 

Yet another HONKing good set of reviews, sir!

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  • 2 weeks later...

newtestsubjects.jpg

 

269b.png!!SCIENCE UPDATE!!269b.png

 

 

The next (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be:

 

 

Legacy

 

Donut County

Nightmares from the Deep 2: The Siren's Call

 

New

 

Etherborn

Best Month Ever!

The Solitaire Conspiracy

 

 

 

Subject(s) in RED marked for 274e.pngPRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT274e.png

[Care of @grayhammmer ]

 

(Note - the previous request by @grayhammmer - Resident Evil 6 - is still outstanding, but I'm having trouble getting it done with current workloads, and need to get some of the new S-Ranks done and off the books! Apologies, but I've not forgotten, I promise!)

 

 

Can 'Current Most Awesome' game, Hitman 3, continue its glorious reign?

 

Is gaming turdlet LA Cops ever going to lose the title of 'Least Awesome Game'?

 

 

Let's find out, Science Chums!

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3 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

(Note - the previous request by @grayhammmer - Resident Evil 6 - is still outstanding, but I'm having trouble getting it done with current workloads, and need to get some of the new S-Ranks done and off the books! Apologies, but I've not forgotten, I promise!)

Don't worry, I know you'll get to it eventually. Just promise not to burn yourself out again.

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13 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

results.jpg

 

 1f4c9.png1f913.png NEW SCIENTIFIC RESULTS ARE IN! 1f913.png1f4c8.png

 

??

 

This is to signify that I doubly enjoyed this batch, not that I'm trying to tweak your nips.

 

....but I mean I'm free all day, so...

 

13 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

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Donut County

 

I've seen this one around and have been a touch curious, so Annapurna, Bojack, and Katamari is all I needed to hear! We all need cartoony fun in our lives?

 

13 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

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Etherborn

 

Finally, they made a video game about the figurine shown in commercials for topical medicine!

 

This looked and sounded so dope!! ....til I saw that Tommy Wiseau served as the editor! I may just stick with Manifold Garden.

 

 

13 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

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Best Month Ever!

 

THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT IDEAS HERE.

 

I found it extremely interesting that a Warsaw studio would be down to tackle this subject matter - and it seems to be done with the appropriate level of thoughtfulness and respect, or in the very least from a good place - but with this kind of execution you can't help wishing they'd sold the idea to a more capable studio or something! Regardless, I wanna see this in action and will definitely be looking up some YouTube videos.

 

13 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

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The Solitaire Conspiracy

 

I think this is the sort of thing where I'm more impressed that it exists and respectful of the cleverness required to put it together than actually interested in playing it, if that makes sense... but you make it sound so damn fun.

 

Again, to the YouTube-mobile!

 

And as always, excellent work?

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I knew I should have started reading this thing earlier, this must be how my mother felt when I tried to catch her up on 60 years of Doctor Who stories.

Anyway, I've got a special request for an indie game I hold dear to my heart, from one of my favourite indie studios, (ignoring that they just got bought by.) It's Tequila Work's The Sexy Brutale.

But looking at the list I'm not holding out hope that our tastes are overly similar. I mean... Sly 1 over the sequels *makes windscreen wiper squeaky noises while wobbling my hand horizontally.*

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7 hours ago, breakingthegreen said:

I knew I should have started reading this thing earlier, this must be how my mother felt when I tried to catch her up on 60 years of Doctor Who stories.

Anyway, I've got a special request for an indie game I hold dear to my heart, from one of my favourite indie studios, (ignoring that they just got bought by.) It's Tequila Work's The Sexy Brutale.

 

Absolutely mate - flagged for Priority Assignment with your name! ?

 

7 hours ago, breakingthegreen said:

But looking at the list I'm not holding out hope that our tastes are overly similar. I mean... Sly 1 over the sequels *makes windscreen wiper squeaky noises while wobbling my hand horizontally.*

 

Ha! Well, I do love that first game - and actually, was a big fan of the fourth one... three was fine... two not so much!

May be on safer ground here though - puzzles... time-loops... 

...these are not elements unfamiliar to highly-placed games in the Scientific Ranking!

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2 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

Ha! Well, I do love that first game - and actually, was a big fan of the fourth one... three was fine... two not so much!

 

Someone who likes Thieves in Time?! ? I thought I was the only one who really liked that game, the utter disdain that game experiences in Sly fan communities is unreal. It's got so bad that one guy made a pitch for a new game called Sly 4 Deceit of Thieves which turned out to be little more than a con where he didn't even pay his artists properly. Goodness I let that live in my head rent free, ahh... well. Still feel glad that my preference to Thieves in Time is at least somewhat shared.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am looking forward to your thoughts on Inscryption, even though I may have to wait some time before I actually read them (I am taking my time with this unique game and only just made it to Act 2 - where things got a lot more complicated, or at least that's my first impression).

 

And also, what do you think of Griftlands, another game that I bought a long time ago with the intention of playing at some point, but haven't got around to it yet.

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On 21/09/2022 at 11:38 AM, det_gittes said:

I am looking forward to your thoughts on Inscryption, even though I may have to wait some time before I actually read them (I am taking my time with this unique game and only just made it to Act 2 - where things got a lot more complicated, or at least that's my first impression).

 

Ha - what a nightmare it's been writing that one  - it's impossible to avoid spoilers on it, so I'm basically doing it in stages - with progressive warnings telling people where to bail out if they want no spoilers, some spoilers, lots of spoilers, or ALL THE SPOILERS! ?

 

It's a hell of a game though - you've got some seriously cool stuff ahead of you, I can assure you of that!

 

 

On 21/09/2022 at 11:38 AM, det_gittes said:

And also, what do you think of Griftlands, another game that I bought a long time ago with the intention of playing at some point, but haven't got around to it yet.

 

I'm loving it so far - I got it to be my "now and then game"... and since playing it for the first time, I haven't closed the app once!

 

Really something super cool - between that, Inscryption and Slay the Spire, I'm just straight up accepting that.... I am a deck-builder fan!

 

 

On 21/09/2022 at 3:32 PM, zizimonster said:

Looking forward to reading the scientifically sexy yet brutale review! ;)

 

Thank you sir - I hope to get them up tomorrow - that's actually the one I'm working on now, and having to remember back quite a bit! 

You'd think I'd know it well - I played it on PC, then on PS4, so I've had two bites at the apple... but like all puzzle games, the things you most remember are a few specific puzzle solutions, and everything else somewhat fades!

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3 minutes ago, Arcesius said:

Hey Doc.. sorry, but I have to ask... What's the reason you are taking such a long break before finishing up Solar Ash? 1f605.png

 

Hey man!

 

Um.... I feel weird saying this, given that you have it as your image, and you wrote the guide for it and all, and I know how much you like it...

...but it's because I really didn't like it. ?

 

I'm not completely abandoning it - I'm hoping it's going to be one of those games - like Bayonetta, or a few other games I can't think of off the top of my head - where I come back to it at some point, and it clicks, and I suddenly figure out what folks liked about it, and I end up enjoying it...

 

...but yeah. I kinda thought it was a bit of a mess when I played it before. ?

 

3 minutes ago, Arcesius said:

I'm also definitely looking forward to reading a bit more about Inscryption :). 

 

I shall endeavour not to disappoint... even if the last thing I said makes you completely abandon me as a reviewer! ?

 

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1 minute ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

Hey man!

 

Um.... I feel weird saying this, given that you have it as your image, and you wrote the guide for it and all, and I know how much you like it...

...but it's because I really didn't like it. 1f633.png

 

I'm not completely abandoning it - I'm hoping it's going to be one of those games - like Bayonetta, or a few other games I can't think of off the top of my head - where I come back to it at some point, and it clicks, and I suddenly figure out what folks liked about it, and I end up enjoying it...

 

...but yeah. I kinda thought it was a bit of a mess when I played it before. 1f625.png

 

 

I shall endeavour not to disappoint... even if the last thing I said makes you completely abandon me as a reviewer! 1f61d.png

 

 

Hahaha, I definitely won't ?

 

For one, I'm sure you have your more than valid reasons why you didn't like it... And secondly, I'm definitely aware that I might have forced myself to like the game since I was such a fan of its predecessor...

 

In a bubble, I still like the game a lot... But I'm not deaf to criticism, that's for sure ?

 

In any case, I hope you manage to find the motivation to get back to it and, doing so, actually enjoy your last playthrough! 

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4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

results.jpg

 

Alright, time for another big ol gulp of Science Cola!

 

550127626soda-animated-gif-1.gif

 

Aaahhhh, thats the stuff.

 

4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

L9aef39.png

Far Cry 4

 

I got this in a bundle with FC3 and never did make up my mind on whether I'd give it a go or not.. but if this is a step up, I may as well since I've already got 3 penciled in at some vague point in the future?

 

Ooh, White Savior! My favorites were the ones in those movies with Native tribes that always seemed to have a white dude they took in as a child. Makes sense though, I mean who ELSE is gonna be better than them at everything??

 

4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

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Resident Evil 6

 

Ugh.

 

You're absolutely right to call this a depressing read - after all, a nadir is never a pretty thing!

 

I don't actively want to avoid playing this, it just seems sensible. I'm yet to see anything good about it, and between you and Mr. Clarke alone (even taking my previous reservations out of the equation) it just looks bad. And as you point out, to see a Resident Evil game be this terrible?? It'd be like seeing my uncle get drunk and vomit all over himself. I'll spare myself the pain and pretend the first run concluded with 5, thankyouverymuch!

 

Also... back when I first heard about it and a friend was telling me that Sherry was in it, but as a grown up, I was like "please tell me she wasn't all sexualized n shit..." he said "kinda." Even a 'kinda' makes it weird, I think... I mean we carried her to safety as a child, I don't wanna see her shit!

 

4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

L004390.png

The Sexy Brutale

 

I've seen this one around LOT, so I'm quite pleased to see you having good things to say about it. Besides, time loop gameplay before it burst onto the scene they way it has in the last few years? That alone catches my eye. I'll have to keep an eye out for a sale with this one!

 

4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

 

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Far Cry 5

 

It's good to know that my Far Cry experience will likely be sated with three and four?

 

I couldn't agree with you more, it seemed they had an outstanding premise here and just pussed out. What's more baffling is that sure, if you don't wanna go after MAGAs, fair play - that's a pretty huge gaming demographic. But being afraid to truly villainize a cult leader? Who better than that?? All the people who feel positively about cult leaders are too busy riding a stationary bicycle to generate their power to play a game that insults them!

 

The reluctance to exaggerate the baddies when they're white Americans is a great thing to call out too, as I agree whole-heartedly that this is questionable at best. I'm sure that this game is mechanically sound and looks great, but I'm pretty comfortable skipping it.

 

4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

La74f05.png

Inscryption

 

Okay, okay, I'll check it out?

 

Good work as always my dude?

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As thanks for doing my request and analyzing the worst and most bloated entry of the Resident Evil lineup, I am now requesting that you analyze the shortest game in one of your (I'm pretty sure) favorite franchises, Dishonored: Death of the Outsider.

 

Also, please tell me if you want me to slow down on the requests given how often I make them after each post, I don't want to end up being too annoying.

Edited by grayhammmer
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6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

I got this in a bundle with FC3 and never did make up my mind on whether I'd give it a go or not.. but if this is a step up, I may as well since I've already got 3 penciled in at some vague point in the future1f604.png

 

You know... it's fun. Far Cry is just chaos fun - whether it works narratively is up and down, but it's never not fun to blow things up and shoot things in a Far Cry. TBH, I barely see the need for games like Just Cause, which are leaning into that side completely... since Far Cry is essentially exactly that already, but with added story nonsense!

 

I'd say if you are going to check Far Cry out, FC3 and FC4 is the way to go - 5 is a bummer, and 6, I haven't actually played much, but feels basically like prettier, less engaging FC4 so far.

Gorgeous looking games though - all of them - and the weapon sounds and impacts are just ??

 

6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

 

You're absolutely right to call this a depressing read - after all, a nadir is never a pretty thing!

 

I don't actively want to avoid playing this, it just seems sensible. I'm yet to see anything good about it, and between you and Mr. Clarke alone (even taking my previous reservations out of the equation) it just looks bad. And as you point out, to see a Resident Evil game be this terrible?? It'd be like seeing my uncle get drunk and vomit all over himself. I'll spare myself the pain and pretend the first run concluded with 5, thankyouverymuch!

 

Also... back when I first heard about it and a friend was telling me that Sherry was in it, but as a grown up, I was like "please tell me she wasn't all sexualized n shit..." he said "kinda." Even a 'kinda' makes it weird, I think... I mean we carried her to safety as a child, I don't wanna see her shit!

 

Blergh. 

Play RE7. It's the beautiful orchid that grew from the RE6's manure. It's phenomenal.

RE6 is poop from a butt.

 

6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

 

I've seen this one around LOT, so I'm quite pleased to see you having good things to say about it. Besides, time loop gameplay before it burst onto the scene they way it has in the last few years? That alone catches my eye. I'll have to keep an eye out for a sale with this one!

 

Go for it, it's a good one... I'd say there are better time loop games (Outer Wilds, obviously, and Forgotten City,) but it's still a very strange and smart little game!

 

6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

 

It's good to know that my Far Cry experience will likely be sated with three and four1f604.png

 

I couldn't agree with you more, it seemed they had an outstanding premise here and just pussed out. What's more baffling is that sure, if you don't wanna go after MAGAs, fair play - that's a pretty huge gaming demographic. But being afraid to truly villainize a cult leader? Who better than that?? All the people who feel positively about cult leaders are too busy riding a stationary bicycle to generate their power to play a game that insults them!

 

The reluctance to exaggerate the baddies when they're white Americans is a great thing to call out too, as I agree whole-heartedly that this is questionable at best. I'm sure that this game is mechanically sound and looks great, but I'm pretty comfortable skipping it.

 

I wholeheartedly endorse this avoidance!

 

6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

 

Okay, okay, I'll check it out1f602.png

 

YEEEEEESSSSSS!

 

I rarely say this.... but I guarantee you won't be disappointed!

 

 

6 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

Good work as always my dude1f44a.png

 

That's m'dude!

 

 

 

6 hours ago, grayhammmer said:

As thanks for doing my request and analyzing the worst and most bloated entry of the Resident Evil lineup, I am now requesting that you analyze the shortest game in one of your (I'm pretty sure) favorite franchises, Dishonored: Death of the Outsider.

 

Also, please tell me if you want me to slow down on the requests given how often I make them after each post, I don't want to end up being too annoying.

 

Good shout my man - added to the Priority Ranking list!

 

Don't worry about adding too many requests at all - as long as you don't mind me taking my sweet time getting them out, it's good to have at least one request in there to keep me focused!

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I’ve got to agree with pretty much everything you said about FC5. It just felt so……wimpy! We know our cousins on the other side of the pond take the whole religion thing a lot more seriously than us euro heathens but if you want to avoid talking about televangelist doomsday head bangers then DON’T MAKE A WHOLE FUCKING GAME PROMINENTLY FEATURING ONES AS CORE CHARACTERS, YOU PLONKERS!

 

Ah, it could have been so good! What a shame. Mind you, you could say the same thing about every Ubisoft Far Cry game. Why bother hiring professional actors and developing an interesting story only to pour it down the nearest urinal and make yet another open world shopping list? 
 

Vietnam DLC was good, Mars was…..not. Skipping hand in hand through zombies with the famous Dr. B. was irie I’ve not played a coop game like that before and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
6 minutes ago, serrated-banner9 said:

don't tell him but i think i might do a trophy checklist based on his ideas. for sciense!!!!!!!!!! .........

what? it's a good idea

 

:ninja:

 

?Hey-  bash on, my man - I didn't invent the concept of game ranking, and I don't have a monopoly on it...

... I'll be more than interested to read some Serrated-Science! ?

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