DrBloodmoney Posted October 29, 2021 Author Share Posted October 29, 2021 4 minutes ago, YaManSmevz said: Sometimes I feel like if I'm lucky, I'll finally conquer this backlog while playing ports on the PS12, and then immediately after my moment of triumph do an unintentional impression of Godfather III's ending. Dude, tell me about it ? Ever since starting to peruse these checklist threads, my Complete vs. Backlog feels like counting up my little hill of sand grains, while sitting on a beach ? For every game I finish, I add like 15 more to the wishlist! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjkclarke Posted October 29, 2021 Share Posted October 29, 2021 3 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: Choppy Choppy Awesome reads as ever man ......... .........Even if Tales of Arise did get beaten by Final Fantasy XIII - now I'm remembering why I didn't enjoy science at school ? I did skim over a few of the story-ish bits of that review I must admit, I started to read them and was like "MUST SHUT EYES LALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING" but I will go back and read Arise fully once I actually have played it myself. Someone needs to convince you to play a better Tales of' game, like Tales of Xillia or something...... I wonder who could do that........ Someone I'm sure ? I'm with Smevz on this one..... That..... Quote And God of 2018 gets yet another violent shove towards the top of my backlog.... ......Sometimes I feel like if I'm lucky, I'll finally conquer this backlog while playing ports on the PS12, and then immediately after my moment of triumph do an unintentional impression of Godfather III's ending. I'm glad I have actually purchased it now - but man, you need to stop making me fling games up to the top of my backlog too! Not that I'm really complaining about that of course. 3 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: Ever since starting to peruse these checklist threads, my Complete vs. Backlog feels like counting up my little hill of sand grains, while sitting on a beach ? For every game I finish, I add like 15 more to the wishlist! Yep....... I'm guilty of doing that too, I've added to mine far more than I ever have made a decent amount of progress in clearing it since coming out of the woodwork (there I am comparing myself to woodworm again, must stop that)...... .......I'll just be content sat next to you in the sand counting my smaller hill of sand grains ? On Sly 3 I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Sly 3 as well - I mean I enjoyed all of the reviews, I'm just singling out this bit specifically. I don't know that it is the various voice actresses fault for Carmelita - if anything it's whoever was in charge of the voice direction - because, whilst she's more accented in Sly 3 she also has a wildly inconsistent accent too. In one game she sounds fairly normal, then in another she sounds like she's slightly hispanic, in one of the games she sounds almost italian, they just never really made the effort to make her sound consistent. The only reason I think it isn't on the actress, is that in every Broken Sword game, a different actress has played NIco, yet also managed to do such a good job of sounding almost identical, that unless you knew, yo wouldn't notice it. She's accented too in that she's French, so they managed to nail that, whereas Sucker Punch never seemed to bother even trying. It's a weird one really. About Deer God I feel like you might make me add to my backlog again with Deer God - for as flawed as that might be, I like the sound of it, it sounds like the video game equivalent of an underrated little Disney film in Brother Bear.... I think the idea of a hunter being shown how harmful his actions can be in a first hand way sounds really interesting, so I might have to pick that up if I see it on sale. As always, I'm looking forward to the next one. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted October 30, 2021 Author Share Posted October 30, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, rjkclarke said: Awesome reads as ever man ......... .........Even if Tales of Arise did get beaten by Final Fantasy XIII - now I'm remembering why I didn't enjoy science at school ? I did skim over a few of the story-ish bits of that review I must admit, I started to read them and was like "MUST SHUT EYES LALALALALALALA NOT LISTENING" but I will go back and read Arise fully once I actually have played it myself. Someone needs to convince you to play a better Tales of' game, like Tales of Xillia or something...... I wonder who could do that........ Someone I'm sure ? Ha - remember - I still really liked FFXIII - I acknowledge the issues it had, but think they were massively (and unfairly) overblown by the community at large. The game still had a lot of things going for it! You know, that Tales of Arise review is one of those odd ones that comes along every now and then, where I feel, reading it over, that I might have missed the balancing act a little. A lot of what the review outlines are slightly negative things, while my overall impression was actually pretty positive - sometimes that happen in a game that I generally like - the things that I think hold it back from being truly great tend to stand out a bit more to me, precisely because the game was generally good, and so the things I highlight in the review tend to focus on those aspects, and the whole thing reads like a list of negatives, whereas in reality, the experience was mostly positive! D'oh. I did try to highlight to great aspects, it just seems to have taken more words to define the negative ones! Quote I'm with Smevz on this one..... That..... I'm glad I have actually purchased it now - but man, you need to stop making me fling games up to the top of my backlog too! Not that I'm really complaining about that of course. Yep....... I'm guilty of doing that too, I've added to mine far more than I ever have made a decent amount of progress in clearing it since coming out of the woodwork (there I am comparing myself to woodworm again, must stop that)...... .......I'll just be content sat next to you in the sand counting my smaller hill of sand grains ? You know - I just had a total wake up call for this exact issue - since I've been exclusively on PS3 for a couple of weeks with the old R&C games, I hadn't turned on my PS5 for a while. Well, this morning I decided to buy some DLC for a PS3 game I've had sitting on my "to play" list for... you know... like a decade ? - (part of the perils of turning on that old system to play one specific game - you see that list of unplayed games, and fall down the rabbit-hole ?) Anyways, in order to buy them, I had to go through the needlessly complicated route of going onto the PS5 to add funds to my wallet, in order to buy the stuff on PS3 (Thanks Sony ?)... …..and when I switched it on, Was like "Who's PS5 is this?!" I have bought so many games via the app in the 2 weeks which have auto-downloaded, that not one game visible on the PS5 home screen is one I had on there last time I looked ? I'm pretty sure the entire videogame industry could take a 10 year break, and I still wouldn't be able to catch up on my own list ? Quote On Sly 3 I enjoyed reading your thoughts on Sly 3 as well - I mean I enjoyed all of the reviews, I'm just singling out this bit specifically. I don't know that it is the various voice actresses fault for Carmelita - if anything it's whoever was in charge of the voice direction - because, whilst she's more accented in Sly 3 she also has a wildly inconsistent accent too. In one game she sounds fairly normal, then in another she sounds like she's slightly hispanic, in one of the games she sounds almost italian, they just never really made the effort to make her sound consistent. The only reason I think it isn't on the actress, is that in every Broken Sword game, a different actress has played NIco, yet also managed to do such a good job of sounding almost identical, that unless you knew, yo wouldn't notice it. She's accented too in that she's French, so they managed to nail that, whereas Sucker Punch never seemed to bother even trying. It's a weird one really. That's interesting about Broken Sword - yeah, I guess blaming the Voice Actors themselves is silly - after all, sounding like others is their bread and butter. like you say, it's more an issue of direction. I mean, that accent thing can happen even with the SAME actor - don't know if you watched those Narnia movies, but Ben Barnes' Caspian character literally drops his spanish accent from one movie to the next, and I doubt that was his own choice! Quote About Deer God I feel like you might make me add to my backlog again with Deer God - for as flawed as that might be, I like the sound of it, it sounds like the video game equivalent of an underrated little Disney film in Brother Bear.... I think the idea of a hunter being shown how harmful his actions can be in a first hand way sounds really interesting, so I might have to pick that up if I see it on sale. You know - I think knowing what Deer God is - and specifically, what it isn't - is the most important factor in enjoying it. If you know what you are on for, and that is what you want, I think it's a great little game - not long, but satisfying in terms of art and feel - much like Proteus. If only the reviews at the time had actually done their jobs and... you know... tell people that... ? Edited October 30, 2021 by DrBloodmoney 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DrBloodmoney Posted November 1, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2021 !!SCIENCE UPDATE!! The next 5 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be: Bentley's Hackpack LA Cops Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time Ratchet & Clank: NexusUncanny Valley ☢️☢️Scientific Note☢️☢️ Any eagle-eyed Science Chums may notice - I'm actually cheating a little, as both R&C games should really be bonus games, as they were recently S-Ranked, but I need to catch up a little, so I'm sneaking them into the main list this time Hopefully, even including any new bonus games, this will avoid the inevitable breaking of the forum edit character limit, and allowing me to fix all the spelling mistakes this time.... ...Won't that be a treat?! ? Subject(s) in RED marked for PRIORITY ASSIGNEMENT [Care of @grayhammmer] Can 'Current Most Awesome' game, Hitman 3, maintain the title? Is garbage-fire Space Overlords going to be 'Least Awesome Game' until the Earth is swallows by an expanding sun? Let's find out, Science Chums! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaManSmevz Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 7 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: !!SCIENCE UPDATE!! The next 5 (somewhat) randomly selected games to be submitted for scientific analysis shall be: Bentley's Hackpack LA Cops Ratchet & Clank: A Crack in Time Ratchet & Clank: NexusUncanny Ooh! I'm wrappin up on Hotline Miami, and LA Cops is regularly on sale and compared (though not always favorably), so now I can have definitive scientific evidence as to whether I should bother or not. Yeah Dr. Bloodmoney! YEAH SCIENCE!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DrBloodmoney Posted November 1, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2021 (edited) 11 minutes ago, YaManSmevz said: Ooh! I'm wrappin up on Hotline Miami, and LA Cops is regularly on sale and compared (though not always favorably), so now I can have definitive scientific evidence as to whether I should bother or not. OH MY GOD. ? ⚠️⚠️!!SCIENCE EMERGENCY!!⚠️⚠️ ☢️☢️BREAK THE GLASS!☢️☢️ ??HIDE THE CHILDREN!?? ??BURN THE DOG!?? @YaManSmevz - Listen, I don't like to prejudge the science, or give too much away about my feeling on any game ahead of subjecting them to the full rigours of Scientific Discourse and Analysis... ...but this is an emergency situation - as you have mentioned the possibility of purchase. As such, I am going to do something I have never done, even once - I am going to post the first line of my (already half written) LA Cops review, as I cannot, in good conscience, allow the possibility of any ambiguity: Here goes: "If I were trapped on a desert island, with only a functional Playstation and a copy of LA Cops to pass the time, I genuinely believe I would EAT this game before re-playing it." More to follow in the full review... Edited November 1, 2021 by DrBloodmoney 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaManSmevz Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 13 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said: OH MY GOD. !!SCIENCE EMERGENCY!! BREAK THE GLASS! HIDE THE CHILDREN! BURN THE DOG! @YaManSmevz - Listen, I don't like to prejudge the science, or give too much away about my feeling on any game ahead of subjecting them to the full rigours of Scientific Discourse and Analysis... ...but this is an emergency situation - as you have mentioned the possibility of purchase. As such, I am going to do something I have never done, even once - I am going to post the first line of my (already half written) LA Cops review, as I cannot, in good conscience, allow the possibility of any ambiguity: Here goes: "If I were trapped on a desert island, with only a functional Playstation and a copy of LA Cops to pass the time, I genuinely believe I would EAT this game before re-playing it." More to follow in the full review... ???you're a real one, my dude? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post rjkclarke Posted November 1, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2021 12 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said: BURN THE DOG! I burned my dog for that? Disclaimer: No dogs were harmed in the making of this post ? Are you influencing my subconscious or something? I literally went to purchase Bentleys Hackpack the other day - because something in your Sly 3 review made me remember it even existed, now I feel like my Sly collection is incomplete haha! I know I didn't reply further up, but I totally get what you mean about inadvertently highlighting the negatives in a review of a game that you had a good time with in general - I've done it plenty, and probably will continue to. I also enjoyed Final Fantasy XIII far more than most, so it would do fairly alright if I was going to put my own lab coat on, but I'll leave that job for someone more qualified ?..... 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Slava Posted November 1, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted November 1, 2021 POV: you're @rjkclarke when @DrBloodmoney writes an emergency post. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum_Vice Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 21 minutes ago, DrBloodmoney said: BURN THE DOG! "If I were trapped on a desert island, with only a functional Playstation and a copy of LA Cops to pass the time, I genuinely believe I would EAT this game before re-playing it." I smell a roast cookin, and I'm not sure if it's because your dog is well-seasoned or whether we may have A NEW least awesome game that is about to get suplexed onto the barbie. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjkclarke Posted November 1, 2021 Share Posted November 1, 2021 (edited) 23 hours ago, Slava said: POV: you're @rjkclarke when @DrBloodmoney writes an emergency post. 23 hours ago, GonzoWARgasm said: I smell a roast cookin, and I'm not sure if it's because your dog is well-seasoned or whether we may have A NEW least awesome game that is about to get suplexed onto the barbie. These two really cracked me up - and deserve all the rep points, unfortunately I'm all out, so I'll have to give them out tomorrow, whilst I'm putting my dog out *cough* eating my lunch.... ? Edited November 2, 2021 by rjkclarke 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DrBloodmoney Posted November 8, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 8, 2021 (edited) ☢️☢️⁉️(SEMI)-SCIENTIFIC ANNOUNCEMENT☢️☢️⁉️ Nope - not the new batch of reviews, I'm afraid - Sorry! This is something else... In keeping with my philosophy of flogging a dead horse vis-a-vis my own jokes?... ...and using the kernel of an idea that began as an off-the-cuff comment in a status update, I have made a decision! In preparation for the end of the year 2021 (which will be the first "end of Year" in which this Checklist has existed - how time flies! ?) I am planning on removing my Lab Coat, donning my Tuxedo, and having a little look back at games that I have played, and having a celebration awards ceremony! In kicking off the "Awards Season", I am announcing the categories that I will be awarding well ahead of time - so I remember them ? in order to qualify, a game simply has to have been S-Ranked in the calendar year 2021, so whether I started and finished it that year, or all I did was mop up one last trophy, if the S-Rank happened in 2021, it's fair game! The awards will be posted on (or around, depending on my whereabouts!) the 20th of December, and games from the 21st of December 2020 will qualify, but this post is as much about setting a goal for myself, and allowing me time to mull the nominees and winners over the next couple of months! Anyways - I best get back to the actual reviews! Laters! Edited December 15, 2021 by DrBloodmoney Updated to Add 4 Categories and amend dates! 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DrBloodmoney Posted November 9, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 9, 2021 (edited) ⚛️⚛️SCIENTIFIC RE-CERTIFICATION!⚛️⚛️ The first of a new category of Update here, necessitated by the DLC addition to a previously ranked game, who's DLC I have now earned, re-qualifying it for the main list! Operation Tango - Challenge Mode DLC Summary: The first DLC for Operation Tango is a set of 10 bite-sized challenges, asking the players to conquer one large training facility in small stages, each of which runs to around 10-15 minutes the first time round, with timed medal challenges associated, metering the Gold of which usually requires pretty quick reflexes, a well planned route, and an excellent short-hand between the agents to get it to under the goal - generally in the 2-4 minute range. Adding a timed element to the overall challenge is an interesting direction for Operation Tango - certainly the main games missions had elements of time-sensitive input, however, those were always discrete aspects within an overall level. They never required a timer to be beaten across multiple puzzles, as the Challenge modes here do. It makes for a much more tense experience, and one requiring much more carefully planned execution and co-ordination - doubling down on the notion that this is not a game that should (or could) be played with randoms. You really need a very easy simpatico with the person on the other end of the mic, in order to convey complex notions quickly and efficiently, in order to claim those 10 gold medals. The actual puzzles in the challenge mode are varied - in most cases, they are recycled versions of challenges seen in the main campaign levels, though there are a few puzzle types sprinkled throughout that are wholly new, and those are where the dlc shines brightest. What is interesting in the Challenge mode, placing it separate from the main campaign, is that the challenges are only required to be completed from a single "point of view" - to get the two new trophies, a player is only required to play as either the Hacker or the Agent, not both - though it is worth noting that one of the easiest ways to figure out the dynamics of the more complicated puzzles is to switch characters, and see the thing from the other point of view - and on a few puzzles, my mate and I ended up swapping and playing from the other side even after the medal was achieved, just to see the puzzle from that angle. The downside to the challenge mode, however, is that, without an overall narrative, the individual challenges lack the character or personality of the individual levels in the main campaign, and there is nothing about the training facility that measures up to the best levels in the main game - the Train level, the final level in the Gardens, the Office Building etc. Also - since all challenges take place in one large, contiguous area, (you can actually see the areas from previous and future challenges when in each individual one) it feels like the devs missed a trick - I was convinced the final challenge would be for stringing together all previous ones, turning the 9 previous bite-sized chunks into one long level, but (spoiler) this is not the case, and makes the decision for each one to follow directly from the previous seem a little odd. Re-Ranking: While the Challenge mode is a worthy add-on for the game, so far, I don't think it amounts to enough of a change to really affect the ranking. It certainly doesn't take away from the main game, but neither does it add anything of such value as to pull it up the rankings either. Having said that - I very much doubt this will be the last Mini-Science Update for the game, as it feels tailor-made for continual DLC additions - and I welcome them! Edited November 9, 2021 by DrBloodmoney 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Popular Post Share Posted November 12, 2021 ?? NEW SCIENTIFIC RESULTS ARE IN! ?? Hello Science-Friends and Science-Frenemies, as promised (and in some cases requested), here are the latest results of our great scientific endeavour! Bentley's Hackpack Summary: A 3-game mini-game arcade collection from Insomniac, tying directly into the Sly Cooper series, Bentley's Hackpack is essentially an expanded and deepened, long-form arcade version of the three mini-game types featured in the 4th instalment of the main Sly Cooper series: Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time. The three games each have their own arcade genre and rule-set: System Cracker - a Twin-Stick, action-heavy, puzzle-lite tank-shooter. Alter Ego - a horizontal scrolling-shooter in the vein of Gradius. Spark Runner - a top-down, motion-controlled take on Marble Madness. All three games are, it should be said, varying degrees of "pretty fun", and much more carefully and well designed than one might initially expect, given the nature of the release. The most solid is probably Alter-Ego, which while the simplest in terms of puzzle elements has a set of levels that are notably well-designed, interesting, and fun to play. System Cracker is equally solid in terms of mechanical design, however, the actual level design does on occasion veer a little off course, and success in some missions can feel a little luck dependent, given the random element of the enemy actions. Alter Ego, on the other hand, always feels like the player is the one to succeed or fail, rather than enemy behaviour. Spark Runner is where the game does have a tendency to get frustrating, however. The fact that the game is motion-controlled is neat, and I found the vita controls to be pretty good, with fine-control possible, however, as the levels get more complex, and more speed-dependent, it does tend to become unwieldy. A little too often, I was required to tilt the vita almost to the point that I could no longer look at the screen, and occasional issues where the motion-control 'dead zone' became misaligned did happen. Not often, but often enough to damage confidence in the design, and make the whole game feel a little more apt to frustration than it should be . (Note - I am not 100% certain how these sections control on the PS3 version. There is no option I could find on the Vita to allow analogue-stick control, so my assumption is that on PS3, the same philosophy is used, and the duel-sense motion controls are employed. Given that those are famously lacking in fidelity as compared to the Vita, I do wonder how achievable the game would be on that platform!) The presentation of the game is pretty solid - and completely familiar to anyone who has played Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time. Aesthetically, the whole thing is designed to evoke a Tron-esque, cyber-space visual representation of computer hacking. The blue-green-orange neon aesthetic is hardly original, but it looks nice here, and that scheme lends itself well to this kind of game. It pops and highlights objects clearly, allowing the player to easily identify points of interest / danger, and never lose track of what they are doing. Occasionally the screen can get a little too busy - this is particularly noticeable in the System Cracker sections, where electric wires feature heavily, and their 'sparking' visual effect can distract from the action a little, but this isn't a big issue too often. The controls (outside of the motion controls) are fluid, if a little floaty at times, and the sound design is not bad. The music can become a little overbearing after a long stretch, however, the shooting and destruction have satisfying 'oomph' and appropriately arcade-y sounds, and work for the tone. It might be tempting to see Bentley's Hackpack as being "Advertainment" - a small mini-game collection sold at a cut price to entice people into purchasing the bigger game. That is certainly what I expected at the time, however, playing it, it does not really have that feel. For one thing, there are a fair number of little tid-bits of lore info on the Sly universe that are available as unlocks for success, and these do not feel like something that would be of value to the newcomer to the series. Also, there is a surprising amount of replayability in Bentley's Hackpack, independent of the main game. Each level has a number of challenges - Score / Collectible / Perfection etc. and checking off these challenges is fun and rewarding. If anything, Bentley's Hackpack feels like it sprung not out of a desire to sell copies of Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time, but rather, out of the developers own enjoyment of the mini-games they crafted. It feels like they realised they had crafted mechanics that could be purposed to much more complex and interesting levels than their main game required or needed, and - rather than either leave those ideas on the cutting-room floor, or overburden the main game with too many of them - they simply crafted this fun little Arcade-offshoot. I, for one, am all for that! The Ranking: Despite reasonably solid mechanics, the small nature of the game, and its place as an offshoot from the bigger series does work against the game a little. After-all, the mere fact that these mini-games already exist, in some form, within the much grander Sly Cooper: Thieves in Time game means that game is guaranteed to outclass it when it is eventually ranked. While Bentley's Hackpack was fun, arcade fare, it's not a game I've returned to since completing, which does say something, given that repeat play is a staple of arcade-style games. It does tends to ensure Bentley's Hackpack is not going to be tickling the upper half of the ranking list. Having said that, a decent comparison starting point is around some of the Arcade Archives games. The one that springs to mind first is recently ranked Arcade Archives: Nova 2001. That game feels a lot like Bentley's Hackpack's System Cracker in a way, and while I think Nova 2001 outclasses it on that one game, Bentley's Hackpack has 3 game types - including Alter-Ego, which is more fun than System Cracker. It would be tempting to then look at Arcade Archives: Gradius as the next point of comparison, given the similarity in style to Alter-Ego, however, it's not much of a contest, as Gradius would flatten it. Gradius has the superior music, the nostalgia, the better enemies, and is a more complete game. Actually, ranking Bentley's Hackpack becomes quite easy once the decision was made that it outclasses Arcade Archives: Nova 2001, as the next game above that - current Artifex Mundi frontrunner Enigmatis 3: The Shadow of Karkhala is a game I think is, overall, a more enjoyable experience. As such, we need not look further - Bentley's Hackpack finds its spot! LA Cops Summary: If I were trapped on a desert island, with only a functional Playstation and a copy of LA Cops to pass the time, I genuinely believe I would EAT this game before playing it. LA Cops, I believe, may represent the most pristine and perfect example of a game attempting the (already questionable) practice of copying another game's concept whole-cloth, yet somehow managing to defy the law of averages, and fail to capture that game's essence in every single possible area. The game is, essentially, a shameless rip-off of the wildly popular, wildly entertaining and wildly awesome shooter Hotline Miami. The game operates on exactly the same core premise - fast, unforgiving short levels, broken up into walled off rooms, with quick death (for both the enemies and the player) on the menu, bullets in the air, and blood all over the floor. It is a conceptual design that worked extremely well in Hotline Miami - one in which repetition, pattern recognition, route building and twitch-reflexes are the key to survival - however, in every one of the (many) ways in which it copies Hotline, LA Cops fails, and in every are it tries to distinguish itself separate from Hotline, it fails harder. LA Cops opts for a 3D isometric view, rather than the directly top-down view Hotline took. This is probably the most notable separation from Hotline, (outside of... y'know... quality.) Aside from just generally being far less visually interesting, it is also a woefully misguided decision. The isometric view is totally antithetical to the conceptual design of the game. Because the fast-paced action of the game is about clearing sets of small rooms, and using doors / windows to your advantage, being unable to accurately gauge where you are in relation to the windows, (owing to the minimalist, cell-shaded art-style couple with the isometric camera,) or unable to see half of the action, (because a foreground wall is in the way,) is as common as it is frustrating. The game allows the player to 'swivel' the camera around to different isometric planes, however, this does little to help, as the pace of the game is not designed to allow this re-alignment on the fly, and part of the fundamental design of this kind of twitch-reflex game is knowing and planning a route. turning the camera only confuses this pattern learning, and so the player tends to stick with the lesser of two evils - simply being consistently frustrated by being unable to properly see what they (and the enemies) are doing. Speaking of the visuals, they are not particularly interesting, though I'd hesitate to call them outright bad, and in some select spots - notably, the cut-scenes, the style is quite nice. If the story was anything but throwaway, (it isn't), and if the dialogue was anything but naff (it isn't,) those cut-scenes would actually be a positive. Aside from those though, the ultra-clean, low-poly aesthetic just doesn't work here. It feels not so much a stylistic choice, as a lazy one. That low-poly look can be great when used effectively, (see many iOS games,) but because there is nothing even remotely interesting done with it here, and because the same assets are used ad-nauseum throughout the locations of the game's bland levels, it becomes fairly obvious the style was simply the quickest, simplest one available to use in order to fart the game out the door quickly, in time to capitalise on the coat-tails of Hotline Miami's well-deserved success. Gameplay-wise, things don't get much better - though they do get significantly stupider. So... I guess that's something? The controls of the game are swimmy and unwieldy. Free-aiming is a virtual non-starter due to the fast pace of the game and high sensitivity of the floaty reticle. Instead, there is a lock-on mechanic, which can be 'feathered' to kill multiple targets quickly, however, doing so means forfeiting careful planning by actually selecting the specific enemy to shoot, and instead simply defaulting to the nearest enemy. The whole aiming function feels very hit-and-miss. Melee attacks are replaced with an 'arrest' mechanic, whereby the cops can - if they get close enough to a criminal - cuff them rather than blow their heads off... though there is little benefit to doing so really. There are two areas in which LA Cops does things that might be considered interesting ideas, to distinguish itself separate from Hotline on the gameplay front: Firstly, there are two Cops in each level, allowing the player to switch between them, with the 'off-player' becoming AI controlled. On paper, this allows the player to set up interesting tactical methods of infiltration / exfiltration, however, the AI is so appallingly wonky, that essentially it just becomes a 'second try' when the aiming finally fails you, and your first cop goes down. Hopefully, when you do die, the AI happens to be in a reasonably manageable position to pick up the mantle, but that comes down to pure luck, and the whims of the AI. Secondly, there is the character-selection / character-upgrade mechanics. As far as 'character selection' goes, this is something of a misnomer, as all characters play exactly the same. It is essentially a palate-swap between different cop stereotypes, and there is absolutely no benefit to swapping characters. It behooves the player to stick with the one they have upgraded most. On the 'upgrading' this is possibly the most astonishingly miscalculated upgrading mechanic I think I have ever seen in a game. From the 4th or 5th level, the missions are balanced in such a way as to heavily reward using a fully upgraded character, but since the same first levels can be repeated endlessly until the player character is maxed out, the game essentially mandates that a player replay the early levels over and over as their first experience of the game, in order to be sufficiently over-levelled as to alleviate the issues caused by the wonky camera angles, poor AI, sup-par level design and piss-poor mechanics in later levels. Audio does nothing to save the game - the music is dull and generic, and the best thing that can be said about it is that it is so inoffensive and boring that it will never distract. The sound design, however, actively works against the design of the game. It is flat, with no crunch to the gunshots at all, and no satisfaction - exactly the wrong issue to have in a game where shooting enemies is the game's sole raison d'être. Ultimately, LA Cops is an absolutely woeful product from top to bottom - in a way that is almost impressive in its asininity. It takes a real, once-in-a-generation aligning of the most repugnant of stars for a game to be both a soulless, shameless, xerox-of-a-xerox-of-a-xerox of a vastly superior game, yet also be horrendously miscalculated and appallingly un-fun product in it's own right. Like some kind of magical Kerplunk marble, it manages to fall directly through the tree of Hotline Miami, yet be untouched by a single one of that game's many awesome branches, landing, instead, squarely in a pool of its own rotten faeces on the ground. LA Cops is an abject mess. Unoriginal, unimportant, unenjoyable, unsatisfying, unpleasant, uninteresting... and thoroughly unworthy of my, your, or any self-respecting gamer's time. The Ranking: Let's skip to the end. Is LA Cops worse that Space Overlords... ...Frankly, I think it is. Space Overlords was a turd of a game, unsatisfying and unfathomably poorly designed... but the metaphorical butthole that that turd was ejected from was at least a semi-original butthole. LA Cops is being pooped out of a Hotline Miami-shaped butthole. That it manages to be just as bad - if not worse - than Space Overlords, without even attempting to be original, (in fact doing its damnedest not to be,) is a feat of truly remarkable illogic. I would - (and I cannot believe I am saying this, but it is true) - rather play Space Overlords. That, dear science-chums, is saying something. Now, I'm going to go and wash my mouth out, because after writing that sentence, I taste pennies. Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time ☢️☢️SCIENCE NOTE☢️☢️ I had not played any of the "Ratchet and Clank Future" chronology of Ratchet and Clank games prior to this one, having gone directly from the original R&C trilogy, via the two later offshoots (All-4-One and Q-Force,) to the rebooted Ratchet and Clank for PS4. To this day have not played Tools of Destruction or Quest for Booty. In order to play A Crack in Time, I did ready synopses of the two previous games to get up to speed with the narrative, but this review should be read in that context. Gameplay changes I saw as unique may, in fact, stem from these previous games - I was simply unaware! Summary: The third instalment of the Ratchet and Clank Future timeline, A Crack in Time sees Ratchet and Clank separated. Clank, having been commandeered by a race of intelligent, semi-magical being called the Zoni, with the aid of old nemesis Dr. Nefarious, in order to fulfil his prophesied destiny, is trapped in a Zoni creation known as 'The Great Clock' - a sort of mystical construction of the Zoni's design, to keep the Universe ticking. Within the first minutes, it becomes clear to the Zoni that Dr. Nefarious' schemes do not align with their own, and when they attempt to hinder him, he wreaks destruction upon all. Clank escapes death, but remains trapped on the Great Clock, meeting the clock's janitor - Sigmund - and Orvis, the Zoni master of the Clock, who begins to help Clank, throughout the course of the game, to reach his potential, repair some of the 'temporal damage' Dr Nefarious has wrought upon the universe, and fulfil his destiny. Ratchet, meanwhile, with the inimitable Captain Quark in tow, is looking to find Clank, though very quickly, and as a result of Dr. Nefarious' chaotic schemes, ends up crash landing on a planet, and beginning a new adventure as he and Quark seek out Alister Azimuth, another Lombax, continuing his own personal quest to discover the fate of the Lombaxes, while on the road to finding Clank. The plot is, as in most Ratchet games, fairly fast paced, and complex in summary, though - also like most Ratchet games - pretty well defined from moment to moment. While I'm not sure the Future series' introduction of the (at this point rather hackneyed) "prophesied one" type story is a great addition to a series that had always felt, at its core, one about the power of the 'every-man' - Ratchet and Clank being marginal cast-offs in an uncaring universe, and becoming heroes through action, rather than pre-ordained destiny - I cannot deny that what the writers actually do with that ropey premise is, in A Crack in Time, pretty sound. The return of Dr. Nefarious is welcome - he remains one of, if not the, best villain in the series - both dastardly, and funny in equal measure, and I found both him, and his assistant Lawrence to be particularly well used and funny in this iteration. Speaking of funny - there is, I think, more so than any previous game in the series, a real consistency to the humour in A Crack in Time. The series has always been goofy and willing to laugh at itself, and it generally works, but has rarely been this good, and never this good at this frequency. There is an abundance of Quark in this game - an element I always like - and I think A Crack in Time probably represents the earliest of the game that I have played where the technical side of the game has caught up to the level required for jokes - and specifically, joke timing - to be layered into the main body of the game as well and as snappily as was always there in the cut-scenes. I do think the plot of the game suffers a little bit for the lack of interaction between our eponymous heroes - indeed Ratchet and Clank are only returned to being a duo towards the very end of the narrative, however, from a gameplay stand point it is hard to argue with. Like all Ratchet games, the main Ratchet sections are great, but unlike any previous Ratchet and Clank game - A Crack in Time is finally one in which the solo Clank sections are no only on par with the Ratchet sections - they markedly outdo them! While Ratchet's sections are more than familiar at this point: combat platforming, with a capital Combat and a lower-case platforming - and feature the series signature array of goofy, use-dependent upgrading weaponry and endearingly ridiculous space creatures - the Clank sections, here, take the form of genuinely original, well constructed, cleverly designed and often quite tricky 3D puzzles. These all revolve around the use of "Time Pads" and generally involve the pressing of key switches simultaneously in order to unlock doors. Clank can "record" his movements from one time pad, before rewinding time, and recording another, then another and another, until there are enough individual Clanks doing simultaneous actions to help one another traverse the puzzles and operate the switches to succeed in opening some door or operating some machinery. I am a puzzle-game enthusiast, so my opinion should be viewed as such, but I am not exaggerating when I say that not only are these puzzles the highlight in terms of Clank-specific sections across the entire Ratchet and Clank series, I genuinely believe these to be the highlight of the entirety of this game specifically. While early puzzles are relatively rote and simple, they ramp up considerably quite quickly during the 4 distinct, chapter-bookending sections in which the player controls Clank, and by the time the game is in the end-sections, and optional version of these puzzles are available in order to collect some coveted Gold Bolts, they get downright fiendish, and tested my Puzzle-game brain in a way no Ratchet game has ever come close to doing. These puzzles are a breath of fresh air in the series - though there is a marginal downside to them. Because A Crack in Time - like most Ratchet games - requires multiple playthroughs in order to S-Rank, there is a minor issue with pacing that the puzzle sections cause. Because generally Clank sections in these games have been fairly easy, they have never really slowed down the action. Here though, because they are more complex, even knowing the solution they can take a while to implement. This isn't a problem the first time through, but in subsequent playthroughs, where the pace is completely breathless on Ratchet's side, due to the wildly over-powered weapons he, by that point, has available, the pace can feel like it is coming to a screeching halt when Clank is up. This, however, a price worth paying in my mind - since the reward is finally Clank getting some really great gameplay under his belt! On the technical side, A Crack in Time is really splendid. The game moves with speed and fluidity, and the controls still feel great - as one has come to expect of the series. Visually, the game is top notch too - it hails from 2009 on the PS3, and I think it speaks volumes that I went directly from playing on the PS5 in 2021 to playing A Crack in Time, and while no one is ever going to mistake A Crack in Time for a modern game, the visuals were not even close to the step-back I was expecting. The bright, varied worlds of A Crack in Time look consistently great, and the art design does plenty to add to that. Some of the worlds look really impressive, and the Great Clock in particular I think looks fantastic. That variety is on show top to bottom in what has to be among the largest feeling of the Ratchet Games. There are 8 or 9 full locations to be explored - not a record for Ratchet - however, the game feels much larger than that due to the presentation. Each of these planets is contained in one of 5 galactic areas - each of which can, for the first time, be freely explored in Ratchet's spaceship between levels, and each of which also contains a multitude of optional areas and missions. For the most part, these missions are simply fairly easy ship-combat sections, or basic fetch quests, however, the optional planets are more varied. They remain, generally, single-objective, small, spherical areas, (clearly influenced by Mario Galaxy's release several years prior,) but vary from mini-combat challenges to complex puzzle platforming sections, and are always fun to find and explore. The overall effect of these additions add up to more than the sum of their parts, and really give the game a feeling of scope. (Spoiler Alert: for a glimpse into how "miniaturising" the removal of these aspects can be, one need look no further than the next game in the series - Ratchet and Clank: Nexus - to be reviewed next!) Voice work and sound are of a similarly high bar that the series consistently delivers - music is fairly pedestrian, but gets the job done, and in many of the bigger set-pieces and cut scenes, it has all the necessary flourishes to embellish the action, even if none of it is terribly stand-out or memorable. Overall, A Crack in Time is a great Ratchet game. While the narrative fundamentals (i.e. the "Prophesied One" trappings) do veer close to drawing an eye-roll - particularly looking back, given just how many series of the past 20 years have relied on that old crutch - and do tend to undercut what was a more universal conceptual basis from the previous trilogy, I cannot deny that the increased and improved humour of the series really worked for me, and the game is plotted very well, and keeps the pace going throughout. The puzzle sections for Clank are an excellent addition - novel, original and clever - and the Ratchet side of the game - whether in a main planet, on a small Mario-Galaxy-esque moon, or flying in Ratchet's spacecraft, feels good, looks good, and never gets old. The Ranking: The list already has all three of the original Ratchet and Clank games on it, plus the latest (rather disappointing) PS5 release Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart. As much as I enjoy all three original games, Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time really did surprise me with it's level of quality, and is the first to genuinely be in contention with current high-watermark Ratchet and Clank 2: Going Commando, so really, that is where the real fight lies. I pondered back and forth for quite a while on this one, as both games have al to of points in their favour. The basic narrative has to go, still, to Going Commando, yet the humour has to go to A Crack in Time. In terms of variety of worlds, both are strong, though I still am inclined to give that point to Going Commando, even though I think the design of the Great Clock is - as a singular location - the best out of both games. I think the scope and scale of A Crack in Time beats out its progenitor, but Going Commando still has the edge in terms of the weapon set and enemy types... ...in the end, the two are very evenly matched across thier varied facets, but the final round has to go to A Crack in Time. Yes, yes, I hear you groaning - you already know what I'm going to say, and yes, I realise that isn't what everyone comes to these games for... - but it's the Clank puzzles. They were one area that really caught me off guard with how interesting and fun they were. I not only welcomed their addition to this game, they actively made me want to seek out other games that use similar mechanics for their entirety. It is incredibly rare for what is essentially a mini-game or side-game to overshadow the main aspects of a game - and even rarer if the main gameplay is as solid and excellent as in a Ratchet and Clank game - but it happened here. That is enough to push A Crack in Time over the top, to take the crown as the current Ratchet and Clank pack leader! Above Going Commando then, the next game is Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, and I think on merit, A Crack in Time does manage to outdo that game too... but it is stopped in its tracks by the next game - Nex Machina. While A Crack in Time is excellent, it simply isn't equipped to compete with Nex Machina, but settles for a well deserved high-spot just below it! Ratchet and Clank: Nexus Summary: Moving straight on to Ratchet and Clank: Nexus, directly after A Crack in Time managed to outpace even my fairly high expectations, puts quite a burden of responsibility on Nexus. It's one that, really, is a bit unfair... but those are the breaks I'm afraid! Ratchet and Clank: Nexus picks up after both the plots of A Crack in Time, (and the two offshoot games still to be ranked - All-4-One and Q-Force,) finding our heroes now members of the Polaris Defence Force, and currently aboard a prison ship, escorting witchy super-villain Vendra Prog to serve a life sentence in a remote space-prison. As is customary in the ten square space-blocks around our heroes, chaos quickly erupts, as Vendra's twin brother Neftin leads a daring raid on the ship, freeing his sister, blowing the ship to smithereens, and sending Ratchet and Clank soaring into yet another adventure. Throughout the game they work to recapture Vendra and Neftin, all the while investigating, then fighting against mysterious creatures from an alternate dimension - the Nethers, from the (aptly named) Netherverse - and end up in a half-cat-and-mouse chase, half-uneasy-alliance, and all-bat-shit-crazy-adventure alongside Neftin and Vendra. Nexus, as a game is something of an anomaly, in the sense that it contains virtually every aspect I expect and want in a Ratchet and Clank game, with all of those elements being varying degrees of good... ...but it just doesn't quite seem to mesh together in as satisfying a way as many of the games that came before it did. In terms of gameplay, the stellar controls and excellent feel of the goofy weapons are still as great as they generally are in the series, however, the actual selection of weapons isn't quite as fun or interesting as those in A Crack in Time. There is a new mechanic involving traversable 'beams' that adds a bit of new dynamic to the levels, and can be fun, but it is limited to very specific areas, and doesn't really ever get used for any true puzzle-solving, and feels a little wasted as a result. The level design remains excellent from an artistic point of view, however, visually, there is something... just... not quite right about Nexus. It is a curious thing to try and articulate, as it is patently clear when looking at Nexus in motion, as compared to A Crack in Time, that there is a marked step-up in both visual fidelity and rendering, however, Nexus - as compared to all other Ratchet games (from before and after it) - has an unusually tepid colour palate, that doesn't seem to quite work for the tone of the series. While Ratchet and Clank themselves, and the characters they meet, retain their colourful vibrancy, the actual terrain of the environments, and much of the set-decoration and interactable objects, have, in their increase in visual fidelity, become rather more 'realistic' in their colour-palate. The overall effect is a little strange to look at. It gives the effect of cartoon characters interacting in a more photographed, more 'realistic' environment. That isn't quite the right terms, but I can't come up with better ones! Imagine a modern game, in which Fortnight or Overwatch characters were interacting in the environments of Death Stranding. Get what I mean?) While I'd imagine this is deliberate, and probably took a lot of effort to achieve, it feels jarring in the series. Had I played this game when it released, I might have simply assumed this was the new direction for the art-style of the franchise going forward, however, having played both the rebooted Ratchet and Clank, and Rift Apart - both of which have markedly increased fidelity and rendering as compared to Nexus, yet both revert to the original series-staple colour palate - I can only assume this was either accidental, or considered after the fact to be a mis-step. Where Nexus truly lets itself down a bit, is in the feeling of its size. The narrative - of course - feels smaller. Our heroes are not saving the whole universe - at least at the outset - they are simply dealing with the Progs. They are fun, but not on the level of a Dr. Nefarious in terms of iconic villains, and there is no "Great Clock" equivalent to lend scope to the proceedings. In terms of the game universe, the scope feels intensely small as compared to previous games. This is partly due to an actual reduction in level numbers - Nexus only offers 5 main locations, as opposed to A Crack in Time's 8 or 9 - but is massively exasperated by the games decision to drop the 'space travel' sections, and mini-planets of A Crack in Time. Travel between the main planets in Nexus amounts to simply choosing from a menu, and as such the smaller scope feels even smaller, without even the facade of scope to help it. Long-term Science Chums might remember a similar notion being discussed in the comparison between Jedi: Fallen Order, and Mass Effect. While Jedi only had marginally fewer 'main' planets, the lack of even the trappings of non-gameplay locations - even just as veneer - really made the game feel less grand and more throwaway than Mass Effect. If I were reviewing those games after this batch, I can guarantee that A Crack in Time vs. Nexus would have been used as a good example! The Clank sections - yes, I'm going there again, sorry! - in Nexus are actually an area in which playing (and reviewing) the game in such close proximity to A Crack in Time is, really working against Nexus. Here, these sections take the form of directional, gravity manipulation corridor-platform puzzles, and these are actually pretty fun - basic, and quite reminiscent of Little Big Planet in their feel and look - but still, good fun. Actually, as compared to the individual Clank sections in virtually every other R&C game aside from A Crack in Time, I think Nexus' ones would be a point in its favour. However, having come directly off the fantastic Great Clock time-manipulation puzzles of A Crack in Time, these do feel flimsy, and a bit throw-away. Certainly, there is no real challenge to them, and little to think about - they are simply mildly interesting diversions, that do little to break up the action. There are a few areas that do stand out, and stand tall even as compared to A Crack in Time though - so let's give them some props! While I think Nexus is markedly less funny than A Crack in Time, and less grand in narrative, the actual writing of dialogue, and the vocal work are both top notch - and among the best the series had seen up to this point. Music is a big step up, and catchy in a way previous games audio wasn't. I think Nexus is also the first game to really do the good work needed to improve and expand the variety and scope of it's battle-arena. While all the games to feature one have done reasonable jobs, I think Nexus has the best variety of different challenges, and the most fun commentary and feel to its arena. (I suspect this is possibly due to the battle arena being much more an integral and sizeable part of the main narrative here, but still - credit where it is due!) Overall, Ratchet and Clank: Nexus is not a bad game at all - it is still a pretty good one, however, I do think that, looking back in 2021, I really see this entry as being the beginning of a slide for the franchise into something a little different. A place with more emphasis on detail but less on variety. More graphically powerful but less narratively strong. More amiable, but less funny. It is a direction that would continue with the rebooted Ratchet and Clank, and reach a bit of visual high-point / gameplay low-point in A Rift Apart. Nexus still retains enough of the old Ratchet to hold its own among its older brethren, but if you look closely at the family portrait, you see that one of its legs is already planted in the doorway. The room on the other side of that door isn't necessarily a bad one, but it is a different one, and while I'll still happily go through it now and then to say hello, I do hope Ratchet - as a franchise - comes back into the room I love - at least once in a while. The Ranking: Let's do the easy part first - as compared to other entires in the series that are currently on the list, Ratchet and Clank: Nexus isn't getting close to the two top billed - Ratchet and Clank 2: Going Commando and Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time. I think, even compared to the two other older games - Ratchet and Clank and Ratchet and Clank 3: Up Your Arsenal - Ratchet and Clank: Nexus isn't quite able to hold it's own either, as while it has a lot of positive parts, it just isn't long enough or interesting enough to compare. It is, however, still fundamentally a much better game than Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart. It doesn't look nearly as good, but the gameplay is significantly more interesting, and it lacks a lot of the really anchoring issues Rift Apart had - there is still a decent amount of exploring in Nexus, and most of the humour that is in there works well. That puts us somewhere in-between Ratchet and Clank, and Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart. The two games that spring out for comparison in that particular gulf are both entries from Ratchet and Clank's natural peers - the original Jak and Daxter, and Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves. As compared to Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank: Nexus obviously looks miles better (there are 12 years between the two games,) and it plays much more fluidly (after all, Nexus has had 12 previous games to finesse its controls!), however, I do think the lack of side-content,, and overall length hurts Nexus in that regard. There is a wealth of stuff to find and do in Jak and Daxter, and while it has aged poorly, that is still a big draw. As such, I feel like Ratchet and Clank: Nexus has to fall below it. Actually, a lot of the same arguments apply to Sly 3: Honour Among Thieves too. Yes, Nexus controls better, and has the superior plot and dialogue, but Sly 3 is longer, more varied, and ultimately more meaty than Nexus - and it has the extra bonus of also looking great. I do think that fight is close though, and looking at the games just below, I think we are getting near the right spot.Assassin's Creed III Liberation - just below Sly 3, I think does enough interesting and original (mostly relating to its protagonist) to keep it's spot, but despite how much I personally liked some of the educational aspects, I would be hard pressed to justify placing Ratchet and Clank: Nexus lower than Through the Darkest of Times. As such Ratchet and Clank: Nexus finds its spot! Uncanny Valley Summary: A pixel-art, 2D horror game from Cowardly Creations, Uncanny Valley is a game of two halves - both qualitatively... and quite literally. Narratively, the game, unfortunately, falls into one of the traps that seem to suck in quite a number of these 2D pixel-art horror titles, in the sense that while the tone and general ambiance, and the slow building of tension throughout the game are all fairly well done, the actual narrative through line and conclusion are a little underwhelming. In the case of Uncanny Valley, in fact, the delta between the two aspects on a qualitative level is actually doubly accentuated, for the simple reason that the some of the good aspects are, actually, unusually good for the genre, but the negative ones are particularly exaggerated. In terms of what Uncanny Valley does well, there is plenty to say - and almost all of it pertains to the first half of its structurally-divided gameplay. The game starts pretty strongly, setting the horror tone early with the first of several nightmares experienced by the player character Tom. Upon waking, and driving to his new home and new job, a moody, eerie tone is well established by the well done sound and visuals, and when he goes to begin his new job - as a night watchman at a currently decommissioned research lab - and meets with some of the secondary characters - curmudgeonly daytime watchman Buck, and curiously creepy cleaning lady Eve, everything feels suitably creepy and off-kilter, without having to veer into out-and-out on-the-nose horror tropes. This begins the first half of the game, which works as a sort of cross between a detective-esque adventure game, and a time-management exercise. Each night lasts 7-minute of real time, in which the player can walk around the various abandoned floors of the building, exploring and picking up clues as to the nature of the experimentation that was being done there via notes and leftover detritus. This part of the game is - it should be said - very effective. It is simplistic for sure, but the slow, player-dependent reveal of the experiments and the haunting past of the place, and the creepy visual vibes of the game work very well. The time management aspect does actually keep the tension up admirably, without feeling too hurrying. After each night, Tom has more nightmares in his run-down new apartment, and each new evening, sets out to work, to discover more creepy aspects of his new place of work. The eerie tone is good, the simple pixel-art visuals evoke a very specific, cool, creepy vibe, and lighting in particular (or lack thereof) really help in selling this portion of the game. The fact that this section moves at a steady, set pace, and forces the player to keep up, without necessarily telling them to hurry up, really helps, and the game is smart about keeping its tension from blowing too early. In this part of the game, out-and-out scares are kept to a minimum, (confined to the dream sequences,) with the tension simply building and getting a hold, without releasing. At this point in the game, also, the simple, sometimes stilted-feeling controls are of no issue at all, as the player is not required to do anything quickly or under specific pressures. After 4 or 5 nights, however, the game seems to switch entirely in both format and pacing, into the less interesting second half. After a catalyst event, the time management aspect is abandoned, and the game suddenly switches to a much more familiar version of 2D pixel-art horror. This is the point where the game really takes a dip. The controls, while fine for exploring at roughly the player's pace, suddenly require rather more quick reaction and quick input once enemy forces are involved, and they do have a tendency to feel unwieldy and overly stiff. Some of this is, I'm sure, intentional, and used as a way to make encounters with the games horrors more tense, but failure tends to be more frustrating than horrific when that failure feels down to the game rather than the player. The other major downside is that this is where the game becomes much more narrative-focussed and narrative-dependent. The game is short (and in fairness, it does tell the player, right at the start, that to get the most out of the game, they should be prepared to play multiple times,) however, the player-action dependent nature of the unfolding story is not particularly well handled. There is an issue with narrative I hadn't really encountered in another game since playing Supermassive's interesting but severely flawed multi-player game Hidden Agenda - the fact that certain endings, or certain late game scenes can - depending on the information the player has encountered in that playthrough - make no narrative sense. The game is essentially designed with a multitude of endings (7 or 8, I believe,) however, key points of information that each one hinges upon on is not necessarily forced to be encountered by the player in that particular playthrough. As a result, after playing multiple times, all endings do make overall narrative sense, but the first 3 or 4 times through, the player is likely to simply be baffled by some of them, as they are missing key pieces of background information required to comprehend why certain things have happened the way they have. That is a narrative structure that could be done interestingly and effectively - and I think the rough bones of the idea are sound here - however, the fundamental problem is that the best part of the game - the first half - becomes much less interesting in subsequent playthroughs. Even the second time, where the player will likely try to be more efficient, and explore more thoroughly or try new things, the building tension aspect is largely gone, as they now know what is coming. There is also something of a more basic functional problem with the narrative, in that the 'twists' are pretty well broadcast - both by the early game information that can be found in the first half of the game, and - in a strangely self-destructive way - by the title of the game. There really isn't any great 'reveal' in the way the game creators want - they kind of fluffed that one. The 'reveals' are actually more related to the player's own bafflement at some of the end game shenanigans they simply didn't understand in their early playthroughs. It's not a case of "Oh, THAT'S what's been going on!" at the end of the first playthrough, as you might want, but rather "Oh, I guess THAT'S why that guy did that thing..." in the third of fourth playthrough - after all the tension and atmosphere is largely gone, and the game has become much more a mechanical exercise in narrative (or trophy) box-ticking. In terms of dialogue, the game is pretty minimal, and as said, the 'twists' aren't really twists, but the characters are somewhat memorable, and the tone is well done for how little script there really is. The visuals are probably the highlight of the game, along with the first-playthrough creep-factor, and these are mostly very good. Not on the level of something like Lone Survivor (probably still the high-watermark for this genre,) but evocative and well implemented. Audio is moody and minimalist, but quite effective, and the audio recordings are nicely done - this is a game I played on Vita, and in the dark, with headphones on, (as Lone Survivor taught me,) is absolutely the way to experience 2D pixel-art horror games. This one is no exception - and a fairly good example of the benefits. Overall, Uncanny Valley is not the worst entry in its genre by a long shot, and has some interesting parts that are worth seeing and experiencing, but almost everything worthwhile is encountered in the 45 or so minutes that comprise the first half of the first playthrough. Beyond that, the narrative begins to fall flat - or worse, simply twist itself into impenetrability, dependent on the player actions leading up to it - and fully understanding that narrative takes far more playthroughs than the controls and the gameplay are able to support. The Ranking: The most obvious comparison point for Uncanny Valley jumps to mind immediately - previously ranked pixel-art 2D horror game Claire. Claire is a game that plays in a lot of the same "is this real or a nightmare" aspects - and actually, I think, does that aspect a little more effectively - however, Claire is a markedly less interesting game overall. Visually, Uncanny Valley takes the edge over Claire, as well as in terms of memorable characters and locations. While not all aspects of Uncanny Valley's more malleable narrative structure work, the parts that do still ensure that it still beats Claire's much more pedestrian, much less ambitious narrative on balance. Moving up, then, there are two games that jump out as comparison points - multiple ending, Walking Sim 2D sketchbook-style horror game Neverending Nightmares, and 3D, stylish-but-flawed horror game White Night. I think White Night is easily able to retain its place above Uncanny Valley - for all its flaws, that visual style is so damned cool and so damned good, as to paper over a lot of its lesser aspects, and outdo anything Uncanny Valley can hope to offer. That leaves us with Neverending Nightmares. I think, on balance, Uncanny Valley is doing more interesting stuff within its game than Neverending Nightmares does, even if a lot of it doesn't work terribly well. Yes, there are aspects of Uncanny Valley that make little sense the first time through, but Neverending Nightmares has a similar problem - and it actually doesn't solve them in subsequent plays. It the advantage that it is self-declaring itself a nightmare. It doesn't need to make logical or narrative sense. I think the visual style of Neverending Nightmares is more original, (and I like it more.) Both games do suffer from the negatives of requiring repeat playthroughs, however, in Neverending Nightmare's case, there is really very little to gain from repeat plays, aside from the individual endings. In Uncanny Valley's case, there is, at least, a compounding effect of understanding that comes with seeing each ending, and that does have an additive effect - even if the actual gameplay of subsequent playthroughs can get dull or monotonous. Overall, I think Uncanny Valley does beat out Neverending Nightmares - but is is a very close fight, and as such, I think the spot above it is the most fitting place for Uncanny Valley. ⚛️⚛️BONUS GAMES⚛️⚛️ 2 Additional eligible S-Ranks included this round!: Quantum Conundrum Summary: In terms of 3D, physics-based Puzzle Games, there are few out there with the prestige of the blisteringly smart and original short-form game Portal, or its lavishly produced, lusciously detailed long-form follow-up, Portal 2. Portal isn't eligible for this list (due to a lack of trophy support for the Orange Box, which it was the highlight of,) and I have yet to take on the daunting task of ranking Portal 2, yet I suspect that the name 'Portal' has been invoked more than any other unranked game in this thread, (and quite possible more than any other game, period!), simply because, when reviewing any 3D spacial or physics based Puzzlers - a genre I gravitate to - comparisons to Portal have become virtually unavoidable. Portal has become the defacto yard-stick by which 3D Puzzle games are measured, and the base-point from which deviations and similarities are most easily discussed. 3D Physics-Based Puzzle Games could, at this point, be referred to as 'Portal-Likes'. Quantum Conundrum is one of these 'Portal Likes'. In fact, in terms of pacing, concept and 'game-feel', Quantum Conundrum could quite easily be considered the most 'Portal-Like' of any game not to feature the word 'Portal' in its title. There is, of course, a very good reason for this - and that reason's name is Kim Swift. Kim Swift was the director and lead level designer on the original Portal for Valve (refining and reusing the core concept she and her fellow graduates had developed in student indie-game Narbacular Drop.) Having left Valve and joined Airtight Games prior to Valve running with her ball to craft the incredible Portal 2, Swift became one of the leads on Quantum Conundrum. I don't often get too far into the weeds on that kind of industry information in these reviews, as I generally feel it isn't particularly relevant to the actual games, however, in this case, I do think it is of note. It is only when that legacy is considered, that the position Quantum Conundrum occupies can really be understood. Portal 2 released in 2011, and Quantum Conundrum in 2012, and as a result, it could be very easy to think of Quantum Conundrum as a chronological 'next step' in a lineage that began with Portal, and continued with Portal 2, however, viewing it that way is to misconstrue the timelines. Actually, Quantum Conundrum is not the next game in a sequence that contains Portal 2, but rather, the alternate dimension version of Portal 2. It is the Portal follow-up that Portal's creator wanted to make, not the Portal follow up Valve wanted to make. Both games share the common parent, and have a lot of core similarities, however, they are decidedly different from one another in a number of key ways. Where Portal 2 opted to take the singular 'toy' of the original Portal, but expand the sandbox in all directions - adding a lavish storyline, characters, an epic scope, a breadth of level variety and some additional tertiary elements to flesh out the scope of the puzzles, Quantum Conundrum opts instead to retain the relatively small scope of the sandbox and tertiary elements, and instead, switch the core mechanic. Rather than offering the signature Blue/Orange portal warp gates that had been crafted in Narbacular Drop and refined in Portal, Quantum Conundrum opts instead for a dimensional switching mechanic, in which the world around the player can be switched to one of 4 (or 5, if 'normal reality' is considered) different planes: 'Fluffy' - wherein all objects are light as a feather 'Heavy' - wherein all objects are heavy as lead 'Slow' - wherein everything but the player slows to a crawl 'Reverse' - where gravity inverts The tangential elements of the puzzle rooms remain fairly constant, (most of which are inherited from Portal,) - Lasers, Crates, pressure pads, conveyor belts, switches etc - however, it is really quite impressive how much is able to be done with these 4 dimensions across the game's 50-odd base levels (and 12 stultifyingly difficult DLC ones!) Much like Portal, Quantum Conundrum works on a slow build of compounding revelations, as the player is introduced to new ways in which a dimensional switch, or combinations of switches, can be used to solve puzzles, all the while, actively encouraging experimentation outwith the standard 'solutions' (often via collectibles in easy-to-see-but-tough-to-reach locations.) Freezing time in order to use a falling box as a platform seems revelatory at first, but only later do you realise that using fluffy to catch it, throw it, freeze time, jump across, then flip back to slow then fluffy, will allow you to carry that box with you elsewhere. Reversing gravity while standing on a box may seem a novel way to traverse a high ledge at first, but it is nothing compared to grabbing that box, throwing it, slowing time, standing on it, then flipping between reverse and normal at intervals, essentially gifting you the power of flight! The flow of the game is very much in the Portal vein, as opposed to Portal 2. There is an overarching storyline - but in opposition to Portal and Portal 2's dry, darkly humorous, quasi-horrific tone, the tone in Quantum Conundrum is rather more... well... fluffy! The player controls a 12 year-old boy, visiting the mansion of his eccentric uncle Fitz Quadwrangle. Something odd has happened to his uncle, who is able to communicate with him, but not interact, and he must traverse the bizarre, non-newtonian mansion to find him. Stakes-wise, the game doesn't place much importance on threat or seriousness - there is a deliberate silliness to the tone, and really, the plot is used primarily as an excuse to have Uncle Quadwrangle deliver his advice, musings and "oh, Dad" jokes and puns as you traverse the mansion. These lines and jokes do work to keep the game feeling light and breezy, and the voice work is good (provided by John De Lancie - probably most famous as Q from Star Trek: The Next Generation,) however, these lines can become a bit tiresome during repeat play - especially when trying to solve the challenges. Doing so can often require restarting the same puzzle many, many times over, and even the best of lines cannot hold up to that kind of repetition without becoming grating. Because the game often requires the player to listen for audio cues to know what is happening, they cannot play the game muted, and so any challenge that is proving particularly tricky and happens to have a line of dialogue near the start can be wearying. Speaking of these challenges - they are an interesting diversion from the Portal formula, and one that give significant meat to a game that is, on paper, shorter than Portal 2. Here, the focus is very much on repeat play of the individual puzzle rooms, with each featuring 3 distinct challenges - a 'Speed Goal', a 'Shift Goal' (i.e. 'efficiency' - requiring completing the level switching dimensions as few times as possible,) and one for completing the puzzle without dying. Some of these challenges - the speed ones in particular - can be extremely tricky, and require significant 'thinking outside the box' to come up with more elegant or clever solutions to puzzle elements than the standard 'simple completion' playthrough asked. As a result, what the game lacks in overall length, it makes up for in challenge and in repeat play. While I finished the plot elements of the game is a few days, it took nearly three times as long to master all the levels - and double that again to master the DLC levels. (It's worth noting - I believe this is the best way to experience Quantum Conundrum - play the entire game without worrying about the challenges, then return to do them after the fact. I suspect that trying to finish all challenges as you progress the first time, while potentially more 'efficient' would have a massively detrimental effect on the flow of the game - and would actually be counter-intuitive, as smart solutions to the later puzzles often reveal new methods by which to approach the earlier ones, thus aiding in their challenges.) In truth, I was a little worried by these challenges - I generally do not like 'speed' requirements in particular in my puzzle games - however, in the case of Quantum Conundrum, I think they added a lot to the game. While each is tricky, they rarely require absolutely frame-perfect execution, but rather, further problem solving - finding new ways to approach the puzzle elements, that can cut valuable seconds off the clock, and that process is fun satisfying and illuminating. Speaking of these DLCs, there are two packs, each containing only 6 levels each, however, the step up in difficulty for these levels is extreme. Several of these levels took me several hours simply to figure out how to complete the levels at all, let alone begin the process of honing that solution to meet the speed and shift goal requirements. Both packs are worthwhile, and fun, and while they add nothing plot-wise, anyone who enjoys the main game should certainly look into these levels, as they provide more than enough challenge for their money. The visuals of the game are pretty nice - there is a Saturday-Morning-cartoon aesthetic that works well when combined with the Heath Robinson moving parts of the puzzles, and befit the tone of the 'amiable mad-scientist' vibe well. Each dimensional shift changes the look of the mansion cleverly, affecting everything around the player, and it is always clear which dimension they are currently in. One little flourish I really liked is that the mansion is filled with paintings and portraits - each of which changes in amusing ways in the different dimensions. A portrait of Professor Quadwrangle in the 'normal' dimension will switch to one of him looking at his watch in 'Slow', or one of him in Max-Max-esque metal armour in 'Heavy', with a balloon in 'Fluffy', or just of his feet as he floats off in 'Reverse' - and the first time through, I found myself switching to every available dimension for every picture, just to see all these. Overall, Quantum Conundrum is a great puzzle game. Is is quite on the level of Portal 2? No, I don't think so - the puzzles stand as tall as Portal 2's in many cases, but the game is smaller in nature, the plot thinner, and the visuals less impressive. Certainly, Quantum Conundrum is doing less 'outside of the norm' to confound the Puzzle Game genre. However, I do think that Quantum Conundrum is an excellent game in its own right. The puzzles are sound and clever, the mechanics work very well, the challenges are a nice addition, and the feel of the game is on the level of Portal. Certainly, while I would always recommend a new player sample Portal and Portal 2 first, to anyone who liked those game, I would easily, and happily, recommend Quantum Conundrum - and would be stunned to hear they didn't enjoy it too! The Ranking: Even without a Portal game, there are a few 3D Puzzlers of the list already that are apropos for comparison, with the most obvious being Q.U.B.E Directors Cut. Quantum Conundrum quite clearly beats out Q.U.B.E. While Q.U.B.E has some decent puzzles, (and is also heavily influenced by Portal,) the mechanics don't measure up to Quantum Conundrum's. The tone of the game is bland as compared to Quantum, and the challenge just isn't there either. Moving up the list, there are a few puzzle games that stand out as comparison points - Maquette, The Spectrum Retreat, The Last Campfire, The Pedestrian - each of these has elements I liked a lot, but fundamentally, the actual puzzles do not measure up to the ones in Quantum Conundrum, and while some - Maquette and The Spectrum Retreat for example - do outdo Quantum on narrative elements, it is hard to justify using non-puzzle elements as a winning factor in a genre driven primarily by the puzzles. The first one on the list to begin to give Quantum Conundrum some competition is Superliminal.Superliminal is certainly a thinner experience - the puzzles are significantly easier, and there is less repeat play offered, (where Quantum bakes in challenges as repetition into it's core design, Superliminal offers a few collectibles as reward for out-of-the-box thinking, but really, most puzzles have a single solution.) However, Superliminal does compete in terms of variety of puzzles, cleverness, and there are a few puzzles in Superliminal that I think feature much more profound "eureka" moments than in Quantum Conundrum. In the end, I think the greater length and more variable core mechanics of Quantum Conundrum do outmatch Superliminal, despite Superliminal's willingness to go more esoteric. The length, voice work and overall tone help Quantum here too, along with the far more satisfying challenge - however, it is close. Looking at the few games above Superliminal, neither is a straight puzzle game, but both have some puzzle elements - Tomb Raider: Legend and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. I think, overall, my experience tells me placing Quantum Conundrum above Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, but below Tomb Raider: Legend feels most appropriate, and so, Quantum Conundrum finds it's spot! Lost at Sea Summary: Lost at Sea is ostensibly an Indie Walking-Sim, / Puzzle Game, in which a woman in her twilight years explores a metaphorical island, uncovering and delving into key moments in her history as represented by significant objects, and solving bespoke, allegorical puzzles as she sorts through and compartmentalises the memories of a life - one tinged with tragedy, primarily revolving around the death of her young son. That summary sounds good, doesn't it? The game it speaks to certainly sounds like a "DrBloodmoney darling". It hits a lot of the big points most likely to get a thumbs up from me: Indie game? Check. Walking Sim? Check. Metaphors? Check. Tragedy? Check. Puzzles? Check Check Check! Certainly, the synopsis of the game was enough to get my hand into my wallet, and get the game purchased without any additional information - it was hitting all my pressure points, and I was excited to get into the game. Unfortunately, loading up the game was pretty much where the positivity ended. Lost at Sea, unfortunately, is simply not good. Running at around 4 hours long, the negative feelings started almost immediately, as the game opened, and I was unable to move or to figure out what I was supposed to do. As it turns out, this is intentional, and the game was simply taking its time to set a serene scene (something I'm not at all opposed to) however, as semi-pleasant as the oceanic scene was, it lasted an interminably long time, without any game input to let me know the hold up was deliberate. The alarm bells were already ringing in the deep background, and only got louder as the game moved me past an (actually, very nicely done) in-game title screen, and on to the island proper. On the island, the game essentially boils down to walking to 4 distinct areas, each of which has 4 individual memories associated with it. The 4 areas are built to show different stages of life - Childhood, Youth, Adulthood and Old Age, and each memory within is associated with an object. After finding the 4 'catalyst' items in each area, and receiving the first part of the associated memory (complete with short voice-over) the player can use their in-game 'memory compass' to navigate, and it will point them to the 'key object' associated with that memory somewhere on the island. Each of these has a short, bespoke puzzle associated with it, completion of which awards the key item, and when returned to the corresponding catalyst item, the full memory unlocks. Do this for all 4 items and a full section is complete, do it for all 4 sections, and the game is complete. Now, I should note - nothing about what I just outlined is inherently bad. I actually think, as a Puzzle-Lite Walking Sim structure, it's a pretty solid one. Not particularly revelatory or exciting, but Walking Sims don't have to be. They rely more on writing, acting, tone and visuals than gimmicky gameplay elements. They are - at their core - more substance than flash. However, unfortunately, virtually every aspect of the game that structure drives in this case, is some varying degree of middling-to-bad - and in its worst areas, they are actively souring. Firstly, the gameplay. The game takes the absolutely baffling decision to have "negative thoughts" or "fears" personified as an amorphous, black/blue gaseous tendrils, that will - seemingly randomly - grab and knock you out when exploring the island. These tendrils can be outrun or avoided, but not consistently, and the problematic geometry of the island means the player will quite often get caught by them as they try to move. The 'punishment' for being caught is not harsh - the player simply "wakes up" back at the previous special area, and has to try the run again - but since there is no guidance but the compass, and since the "negative tendrils" are random, the net effect is that every run to an item tends to get interrupted a couple of times, seemingly randomly, requiring the same run to be tried over and over until, eventually, it works. The bespoke puzzles are very simple, and tend to amount to working out what the rough metaphor they are going for is. In one case, the player must 'juggle' various blocks, representing aspects of life - work, a baby, family etc, however, it's very, very tenuous how the voice over of that particular memory actually relates to that struggle. In another, a player must walk a path, but the footfalls of an invisible companion are the ones that matter, not the players own placement - again, a roughly apt metaphor for the period of life, but not really successfully married to the specific point of narrative. These puzzles can be interesting to solve, but since error simply 'resets' the player instantly to the start, they tend to become simple, rote trial and error - getting a little further each time until the concept clicks. On the narrative, it is very throwaway, and never really gets into the emotions that it should. The writing is minimal, and either bizarrely on-the-nose, or even more bizarrely tangential. In fairness, it might work better if there wasn't also a major issue with pacing, in the sense that each area and memory within can be discovered at any time. As a result, there is no specific 'flow' to the narrative, as each memory is discovered in fragmented parts. That kind of pacing works fine for the puzzle aspect, but not the narrative Walking Sim part. A good Walking Sim works, because the developer can control the pace at which the narrative unfolds, and so a good narrative can be enhanced by the interactive elements. A good puzzle game can work in any order. However, Lost at Sea is neither. It has neither the narrative flow - or the writing - to support competing against good Walking Sims, and the puzzles are borderline insulting, and so it cannot hope to compete with even the flimsiest of Puzzle Games. It ends up splitting the difference, and falling into the worst traps of both genres. The visuals are pretty flimsy. The game has some nice lighting effects, and the island can look quite beautiful at times, but that is less as a result of good art design, and more the good middle-ware used in the game. Pop-in is an issue, and because the island is not terribly well put together, navigation can be an issue, with the player getting caught on the environment, or being unable to move up an incline in one area, but able to move up a steeper one elsewhere. The actual metaphorical elements in the individual areas are only very loosely related to the memories themselves, and are repeated a little too often, giving the impression, (and I would say - probably correctly,) that these are standard, generic assets from a stock library that have been used in the game without much modification. The 'Youth' section, for example, is built out of generic looking School busses. That sort of makes sense in a broad sense, but none of the specific memories actually involve busses, or school. It feels like the game creator simply typed "youth" into a stock library, found the bus in the first page of results, and thought "Sure, I guess can work with that." The actual memories, when unlocked, give a still image picture, and these are well done, but as nice as they are, they are not really interesting enough to sustain interest for the outrageous loading times each one is hiding. Seriously - this game is on the PS5. The system can render Spiderman swinging around Metropolis at 100 miles an hour without a loading pause. Why does this small island full of recycled assets take 20 seconds to back into after each memory? On the audio, it's fairly middle of the road. There is little in the way of ambient music, though there is some light tonal stuff that works well enough. The voice over is unremarkable - its never bad, but there isn't much to it - most memories have only a couple of lines, and there is little emotion to them - though I lay the blame for this far more on the writer than on the voice actor, who seems to be doing her level best with the material she has been given to work with. All of the above issues, however, are compared to the aspect of the game that really, really left a sour taste in my mouth - the tone. There is just something decidedly... fake... about the whole thing. It's tough to quantify, or to pin on one aspect... but it is there all the same. I hesitate to say this, as it is possible I am wrong, and the issues stem from elsewhere, but whether I am right or not, the fact remains, this is the impression I am left with by the game: I simply do not believe that the person who wrote it really understands what losing a child would feel like. If they do, they did a very poor job of conveying it. I am, generally, a sucker for character connection. (I'm the guy who still cries at Life is Strange after umpteen playthroughs, got laughed at by my wife for weeping at Gone Home, and who even got welled up at Child of Light for Christ's sake!) I am an easy mark for emotional games! With Lost at Sea, not only did I not feel like I particularly connected with the main character, I didn't feel like the creators of the game did either. She did not feel like a realistic depiction of a woman ruminating on a life lived, but rather, an approximation of what a woman ruminating on a life is supposed to be. Lost at Sea doesn't feel like an emotionally driven game, it feels like an approximation of an emotional game, by someone who did not understand women, loss, life, emotions, or games. Lost at Sea feels like the most wretched and insipid kind of emotional exploitation - the kind not designed to sell a point of view, but simply to sell a product. It feels like a hastily thrown together game, the likes of which would usually be relegated to the "only played for trophies bargain-buffet of PSN", however, the dev - seeing players like myself as an easy mark - decided to approximate the games I like to make some easy money... ...and I fell for it. Lost at Sea reminded me of the kid in school who has had a tragedy in their life, but then exploits it, to coast. Whenever there is any kind of graded paper where they can choose the subject, they write about that tragic event, knowing full-well that no teacher is going to give a poor grade to a story about the death of a parent, (or grandparent, or pet,) no matter how poor the quality of the actual writing. I would love to play a game that that first summary outlined - it sounds right up my alley!Lost at Sea not only isn't it - it never really tried to be. It just tried to look like it. If you take a shit in burger bun, you will get what looks like a burger. With the right marketing, you might even fool someone into buying that burger. But they sure as hell won't enjoy eating that burger. A little harsh?... ...Sure. Lost at Sea isn't actually a shit-sandwich... ... but it's a hell of a long way away from being a tasty treat either. The Ranking: For comparison point, I think something needs to be stated - even the least interesting of the Artifex Mundi's Hidden Object games - currently Eventide: Slavic Fable - while dull, never made me feel gross or exploited or genuinely frustrated. While I might have simply not cared about that narrative, I never straight up declared, in an empty room, "No, I don't believe you." With Lost at Sea, I did. Also, Eventide: Slavic Fable, while minimal and not very interesting, still looks better than Lost at Sea. It runs perfectly well. The same cannot be said for Lost at Sea, and so it definitely ranks lower. That puts us very low on the list, and slipping downwards, the first game that makes me think is the double-bill of Mahjong Royal Towers and Mahjong World Contest. Those are also games think were mis-sold, as they are not Mahjong at all, but simply matching pairs games, however, the mis-selling feels less exploitative there, and I would still rather play those again. Lost at Sea keeps slipping, but it finally finds a foothold at The Mysteries of Little Riddle. That game, owing to its incredible banality and lack of fun, means Lost at Sea, even with its exploitative angle, manages to be a biscuit better than it - and if forced to chose, I would likely replay Lost at Sea before diving back into Little Riddle. As such, Lost at Sea finds itself Lost near the Bottom or the list. So there we have it folks! Thanks to @grayhammmer for putting in a request! Hitman 3 remains the 'Current Most Awesome Game'! Space Overlords, however, is finally usurped as 'Least Awesome Game' by the wanton grotesquery of LA Cops! What games will be coming along next time to challenge for the top spot... or the (new) turdly bottom? That's up to randomness, me.... and YOU! Remember: SPECIAL NOTE If there are any specific games anyone wants to see get ranked sooner rather than later - drop a message, and I'll mark them for 'Priority Ranking'! The only stipulation is that they must be on my profile, at 100% (S-Rank).... and aren't already on the Rankings! Catch y'all later my Scientific Brothers and Sisters! ☮️ 13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neef-GT5 Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 (edited) Thanks @DrBloodmoney for this new batch. You frankly are quite a talented critic - your comments on LA Cops really made my day :-) Edited November 12, 2021 by Neef-GT5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 1 minute ago, Neef-GT5 said: Thanks for this - you’re frankly quite a talented criticist. Your comments on LA Cops really made my day :-) Thank you, sir! I'm glad someone could get something out of my time with LA Cops - because it sure wasn't any enjoyment on my part! ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grayhammmer Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 Okay, so recently I got all the trophies for Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, and I feel like I remembered a point in time where a lot of people online talked about how emotional/good the game was. As such, I would like you to do an analysis on it to see how warranted those reactions were in your eyes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 3 minutes ago, grayhammmer said: Okay, so recently I got all the trophies for Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, and I feel like I remembered a point in time where a lot of people online talked about how emotional/good the game was. As such, I would like you to do an analysis on it to see how warranted those reactions were in your eyes. Way ahead of you buddy! ? I did Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons in Batch 12 - Right Here! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grayhammmer Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 4 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: Way ahead of you buddy! I did Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons in Batch 12 - Right Here! Oops. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 Just now, grayhammmer said: Oops. I take that error as the highest compliment, my friend ☺️ - it means I’ve managed to do enough reviews on here that it’s becoming easy to miss one when looking at the list ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grayhammmer Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 Very well, how about you analyze Gris instead given that game also tries to be an emotional little indie game. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, grayhammmer said: Very well, how about you analyze Gris instead given that game also tries to be an emotional little indie game. Good shout, my man - it will be nice to write about a game with real emotional weight to it, and not just one faking it like Lost at Sea! I’ll flag it with your name ? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylobe Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 I'm constantly blown away at your ability to not only remember but meaningfully critique these games you played so long ago; I played LA Cops around the same time you did, and if you asked me about it I'd only be able to describe a vague feeling of dread. I'd love to see you finish Supergiant's efforts with Bastion and Pyre! You ranked Transistor quite a bit above Hades, which from my experience is equal parts spicy and correct, and I'm curious where their other two games will land. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjkclarke Posted November 12, 2021 Share Posted November 12, 2021 (edited) Absolute top quality stuff as ever man! I think you actually saved my backlog for once - instead of actually adding to it....... .........Which I guess I can't complain about (not that I would,) I am oddly going to bump Bentley's Hack-Pack up the list though, because now you've reminded me it exists, I really ought to finish my Sly Collection off properly I suppose. On Ratchet I'm so glad you had a great to decent time with both of these..... ....... Especially as I sort of nudged you in the direction of going back to them with a very sharp pointed stick! ?. I did worry that you might not have much fun with them and you'd turn up on my doorstep to give me a nice Glasgow-Kiss (insert area of Scotland you are actually from,) on the forehead, as penance for my suggestions ?. I initially really loved those Clank puzzles myself in Crack in Time - I had a bit more of a frustrating time with them on repeat playthroughs though, I kind of just wanted to get through them on those repeat plays. So I think my lasting impression of them unfortunately got a bit tainted by that. Nexus is a funny one - I definitely don't dislike it, just like you didn't in fact I do like it obviously - I'm pretty much in the same boat with you that it just feels a lot smaller scale than it probably should. There's just something about it that feels a little less important and smaller scale. I'm not saying longer equals better. I tend to think of it like this. That if Return of the Jedi ended when they leave Jabba's palace, that's kind of what Into the Nexus reminds me of, you just expect more. The fact R&C had saved the universe so many times before, kind of makes a lot of what happens on a smaller scale in that game feel a bit - well, I don't think throwaway is the right word but less important to some degree. On Uncanny Valley I'm still interested in it after that awesome write-up, but I do know not to really go into it with particularly high expectations based on that. Now I'll just be gently ushering it further back down the list with a friendly "OKAY OKAY, BACK OF THE LINE SONNY!" On Quantum Conundrum You might have just added to my backlog with this one though - you know I'm also a bit of a puzzle enthusiast myself, so this one sounds right up my street, so I might have to go and hop onto the PS3 store and pick that one up. Well provided the PS3 is stable enough for five minutes and it doesn't rip a hole in the space-time continuum when I try to access it like it usually seems to try to do ?... Also ..... 11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: visiting the mansion of his eccentric uncle Fitz Quadwrangle. Why did you have to mention this? Now I'm saddened and disappointed that I don't have an Uncle named that.... I'm stuck with generic Uncle names like Don or John...... Oh well guess it's off to change my name tomorrow to Rabastan Pinwheelodon IV ..... Y'know just so my nieces and nephews can have an Uncle with an enjoyable name! Oh and I'm also pretty surprised that L.A Cops managed to unseat Space Overlords from the Throne of Shame. On Lost at Sea Oh man - you know you initially got me very excited - the same way you yourself got excited with these exact words. 11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: The game it speaks to certainly sounds like a "DrBloodmoney darling". It hits a lot of the big points most likely to get a thumbs up from me: Indie game? Check. Walking Sim? Check. Metaphors? Check. Tragedy? Check. Puzzles? Check Check Check! I read those - and was like "Yep that totally sounds like an rjkclarke kind of game too....." ...... Then I read on. Sheesh - almost nothing about that sounds appealing. Why put those tendrils in the game - that is one of the most egregious things I can think of, putting "enemies" or progress blockers, into a Walking Sim, that just seems like such a stupid oversight. That game sounded like it needed a healthy dose of Jessica Curry goodness to add some atmosphere - well, that and some competent writing that's for sure. 11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: I am, generally, a sucker for character connection. (I'm the guy who still cries at Life is Strange after umpteen playthroughs, got laughed at by my wife for weeping at Gone Home, and who even got welled up at Child of Light for Christ's sake!) I am an easy mark for emotional games! With Lost at Sea, not only did I not feel like I particularly connected with the main character, I didn't feel like the creators of the game did either. She did not feel like a realistic depiction of a woman ruminating on a life lived, but rather, an approximation of what a woman ruminating on a life is supposed to be. Lost at Sea doesn't feel like an emotionally driven game, it feels like an approximation of an emotional game, by someone who did not understand women, loss, life, emotions, or games. I'm fairly sure I'd have almost exactly the same reaction you would to this game, based off of this - I'd be looking to have all of those similar reactions from the game, and instead getting frustrated. 11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: Lost at Sea feels like the most wretched and insipid kind of emotional exploitation - the kind not designed to sell a point of view, but simply to sell a product. It feels like a hastily thrown together game, the likes of which would usually be relegated to the "only played for trophies bargain-buffet of PSN", however, the dev - seeing players like myself as an easy mark - decided to approximate the games I like to make some easy money... ...and I fell for it. I think you've pretty much just done a wonderful service to anyone that might also have been suckered into buying this eventually. These are the type of games that end up disappointing me the most, when you just feel exploited coming out the other side of it. 11 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said: If you take a shit in burger bun, you will get what looks like a burger. With the right marketing, you might even fool someone into buying that burger. But they sure as hell won't enjoy eating that burger. If you can manage to do that you should probably enter Britain s Got Talent. Although if a DrBloodmoney franchise restaurant appeared I'm not sure I'd be sampling the Shitburgers, or the human thumb sandwiches we talked about over in Smevz thread ... Edited November 12, 2021 by rjkclarke 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted November 12, 2021 Author Share Posted November 12, 2021 6 minutes ago, Xylobe said: I'd love to see you finish Supergiant's efforts with Bastion and Pyre! You ranked Transistor quite a bit above Hades, which from my experience is equal parts spicy and correct, and I'm curious where their other two games will land. Haha thank you bud - I like that - "equal parts spicy and correct" is what I think I want written on my tombstone! ? Good shout on the remainder of Supergiant's catalogue - I will flag both with your name, for priority ranking ? As a quick note, I should say - I haven't declared the next batch yet, but I do have a notion cooking for the next ones that might necessitate taking up several slots at once, so both your (and @grayhammmer's) picks might take a couple of rounds to get to... ... but don't worry, the master list (?all hail Master List ?) has those ones locked in now, so I'll get there soon! 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: Absolute top quality stuff as ever man! I think you actually saved my backlog for once - instead of actually adding to it....... Hey - if I can steer anyone away from the double-turdlet special of LA Cops and Lost at Sea, I'll consider the sorry time I had with those games almost worth it! 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: On Ratchet I'm so glad you had a great to decent time with both of these..... ....... Especially as I sort of nudged you in the direction of going back to them with a very sharp pointed stick! . I did worry that you might not have much fun with them and you'd turn up on my doorstep to give me a nice Glasgow-Kiss (insert area of Scotland you are actually from,) on the forehead, as penance for my suggestions . Hey - don't shy away from the credit - as far as I'm concerned, I would likely have sontinued to wallow in ignorance were it not for your prodding with these ones, so kudos! You can be sure I'd be laying the blame at your doorstep if I had hated them, so it has to work both ways ? I have just fired up Afterparty at @YaManSmevz's express recommendation, and thd same rules shall apply - if great, he gets all the credit, if terrible, he assumes all the blame! ? 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: I initially really loved those Clank puzzles myself in Crack in Time - I had a bit more of a frustrating time with them on repeat playthroughs though, I kind of just wanted to get through them on those repeat plays. So I think my lasting impression of them unfortunately got a bit tainted by that. It's a fair point, and I think if Crack in Time had required more than the 2 playthroughs, I think it would have been a much bigger issue for me, as repetition without additional challenge is a problem inherent to puzzle games generally, but I think they took me so by surprise, that the initial good feeling was so good, that it carried my adulation across the second run pretty much unscathed! 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: Nexus is a funny one - I definitely don't dislike it, just like you didn't in fact I do like it obviously - I'm pretty much in the same boat with you that it just feels a lot smaller scale than it probably should. There's just something about it that feels a little less important and smaller scale. I'm not saying longer equals better. I tend to think of it like this. That if Return of the Jedi ended when they leave Jabba's palace, that's kind of what Into the Nexus reminds me of, you just expect more. The fact R&C had saved the universe so many times before, kind of makes a lot of what happens on a smaller scale in that game feel a bit - well, I don't think throwaway is the right word but less important to some degree. Yeah... .... I do wonder if, 6 months from now, I will look back and think that I gave Nexus a bum rap, given how close to Crack in Time I played it. I really didn't give it room to breath on it's own, and was constantly comparing it to what felt like a much better game. I guess I'll see, but it really did suffer for its proximity to greatness in my eyes! 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: On Uncanny Valley I'm still interested in it after that awesome write-up, but I do know not to really go into it with particularly high expectations based on that. Hmmm - one thing I will say, is, Yes, by all means check out Uncanny Valley... but if you are in the mood for that genre, and haven't played Lone Survivor - THAT is the one to go for initially. I think that's the best example of the genre.... and I think you, specifically, would like it - (I haven't reviewed yet, but when I do, there will be a lot of David Lynch movies referenced. Like, A LOT of them!) 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: On Quantum Conundrum You might have just added to my backlog with this one though - you know I'm also a bit of a puzzle enthusiast myself, so this one sounds right up my street, so I might have to go and hop onto the PS3 store and pick that one up. Well provided the PS3 is stable enough for five minutes and it doesn't rip a hole in the space-time continuum when I try to access it like it usually seems to try to do ... Oh God, not half. I already had the game, but getting those DLCs was a Kafka-esque nightmare. How do you have a store with no payment option, and no visible "Buy" buttons?!?!? 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: Why did you have to mention this? Now I'm saddened and disappointed that I don't have an Uncle named that.... I'm stuck with generic Uncle names like Don or John...... Oh well guess it's off to change my name tomorrow to Rabastan Pinwheelodon IV ..... Y'know just so my nieces and nephews can have an Uncle with an enjoyable name! Haha, dude, I'd take an Uncle called anything, if his voice was John De Lancie's! 11 minutes ago, rjkclarke said: On Lost at Sea Oh man - you know you initially got me very excited - the same way you yourself got excited with these exact words. I read those - and was like "Yep that totally sounds like an rjkclarke kind of game too....." ...... Then I read on. Sheesh - almost nothing about that sounds appealing. Why put those tendrils in the game - that is one of the most egregious things I can think of, putting "enemies" or progress blockers, into a Walking Sim, that just seems like such a stupid oversight. That game sounded like it needed a healthy dose of Jessica Curry goodness to add some atmosphere - well, that and some competent that's for sure. I'm fairly sure I'd have almost exactly the same reaction you would to this game, based off of this - I'd be looking to have all of those similar reactions from the game, and instead getting frustrated. I think you've pretty much just done a wonderful service to anyone that might also have been suckered into buying this eventually. These are the type of games that end up disappointing me the most, when you just feel exploited coming out the other side of it. Yeah - there are lots of bad games out there, and mostly, they just make me sigh - but it's only when I feel like they are deliberately preying on people do I get actively annoyed - and when I think they are deliberately faking the 'emotional' side of gaming - the one genre that still struggles for acceptance and for credibility, even in 2021, I get really livid. If I thought it was made from the heart, and was just a bad game, that would be one thing, but the fact that it feels like a bad game which then tried to excuse itself by feigning emotional overtones... ... that really boiled my piss! Definitely avoid that one. LA Cops sucks completely - worse than Lost at Sea... ...but Lost at Sea still got me angrier! ? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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