70% of men aged 20-34 aren't married. 50% never will

[Bucknerd]

Lady perspective time!

 

 

 

I hate all religion as a whole more than anything else in the world and that's where my distaste of marriage probably comes from, but my parents were married over ten years and that didn't stop them from splitting up, how does two rings and a document change anything? I understand the symbolism, you're effectively signing your life over to the other person, but nothing stops people from breaking their promises, so why make such huge and unnecisary promises in the first place? I love my girlfriend, I have since like a month into our relationship, there's nothing I wouldn't do for this girl, I'd gladly waste my life away with her's, with any luck, we will...why in this day and age should marriage mean anything on top of that? We love eachother, we're happy, we're good.

 

 

Well never mind, someone already stated this lady's perspective.

 

I've never been one to dream of getting married or having a wedding (why not spend that money on a house or a fancy trip?) but I do hope I can find someone to be my companion.  However, after a recent stint on E-Harmony, I've come to the conclusion I'm just going to let things be.  If I eventually find someone that would be fantastic but if I don't I'm comfortable enough in myself to have a content single life.  I do hope I can find a partner someday but it isn't necessary.

 

I don't necessarily think this generation is slow to mature but rather we have the benefit of 1) not having to get married to survive  2) birth control  3) the luxury of finding ourselves before committing at an early age like our predecessors did. 

 

Now to the whole "big girl" issue of this topic:  I can understand your sentiment ExHaseo.  Females experience this with unhealthy guys as well but I think Parker's words were on point: you don't know what that woman may have went through.  My entire life I've been 5'7'' and around 135 lbs.  That's a size 6 -8.  Since my pops died and since I've been diagnosed as clinically depressed I shot up to 175 lbs (that's a size 14).  I've never been this big in my life and society has conditioned me to feel ashamed even if I'm more on the thick side than the obese spectrum.  I'm sure alot of guys have passed me up.  What they don't know is that I'm treating my depression and slowly getting back to myself (lost 5 lbs in the last 2 and a half weeks).  Not to mention I'm awesome-sauce, extra fluff or not.  I understand you were probably referencing morbidly obese individuals but the happiest marriage i know is between a tall lanky man and a morbidly obese woman.  She's fantastic, funny, smart, nerdy, good heart.  Anyways I'm starting to digress from the original topic.

Edited April 17, 2015 by Bucknerd

[Yami]

Reading these comments and learning a little bit about certain people who's names I often see popping up on here was entertaining, here's Dylan's two cents.

 

The idea of finding someone you love and spending your life with them is great. If you find that person, then good for you, that's swell and I genuinely couldn't be happier for you. But why does it need to go any further than that? Move in, share a bed, have kids, change your names if you want to, I don't care, but why get married? What's it benefit? You're partners either way, why go for some outdated bullshit to say something that's already obvious?

 

From a pure logical point, I can understand you of course. But I think the benefit is mental. As you said yourself, "you're effectively signing your life over to the other person". That's a big deal for most people since, you know, nobody get's married with the intention of getting divorced. It's the idea of being "ringed" together forever that is being used to show your partner that you really are prepared to spend your life with him/her. If you're not married, you both know that, but there's nothing to vouch for it. And being able to show the same thing to the world and more importantly, your family is a nice extra. (You can make a statement, if someone would be against the relation.) I hope you're getting what I say But I guess it's someting for the more "romantic" minds (not implying that you aren't romantic, I was reffering to the dreamy way of thinking in general, opposite of realism).

 

Oh and some facts about Belgium regarding this:

52% of the Belgian couples are married.

Only 4% of the Belgian population is an active practitioner of a religion... (That's about 440.000/11.000.000 Belgians)

Source: Belgian newspaper: HLN

 

So I don't think religion is an argument, besides it occurs in probably more than 80% (my guess) of all cultures, so I don't think it originated from religion either, even though it is tied to religion just about everywhere.

[Boots_12345]

You can count me in on the 50% never will. I don't think i'm not going to get married. Nor have kids either. 

[Dav9834]

Double negative^^^ You will get married and have kids now jk

[Dragon-Archon]

Well theres a reason divorce rates are so high, its stupid people comitting to something when they've never comitted to anything in their entire lives. My parents had me young, really young, and they are no longer together (shocking). Its how it goes sometimes. Most people I know have divorced parents and if they aren't divorced they sure as hell didnt get married in their early 20's.

 

Not to say its impossible to marry young and be happy, its just that the odds are against you. It's good that marrying young seems to be changing though, its not healthy for kids to grow up in broken homes. Granted, just because people aren't married doesn't mean they don't have kids, I wonder what the data on that is like.

Same here. I don't see why people want to get married as fast as possible, I mean what difference does it make. It would be better to graduate first, find a good job and get married after that.

[Vivinho333]

If I stay with my actual girlfriend, I'll probably end up married as well in 3/4 years... We've been together since 15 and we are now 22. I'm not very found of weddings and all that but I know she likes it, so I'll just end up proposing her to make her happy

[SarDarniTron]

Marriage is such an institution well U r Damn if u married and Damn if you never married :>

Well marriage Luks promising really when u want a Legal Kid... O,o

Edited April 17, 2015 by SarDarniTron

[Neputyunu]

I dont understand why marriage is that important for some people.

Without, you are not allowed to spent "the rest of your life" with a person you love, or what?

And even when you are married. Great... how many couple are really staying together until the end?

They divorce sooner or later anyway and in our beautifull feminism world the guy looses everything.

 

And even without all this stupid stuff.. personally, I would not want a wife or husband. A companion (m/f) would be enough.

Why? Because Im not religious. (and because feminism) I accept it when others are, but its not my bussines.

[Satoshi Ookami]

This is America?

Check the Japan, they were like this way before

[Parker]

Reading these comments and learning a little bit about certain people who's names I often see popping up on here was entertaining, here's Dylan's two cents.

 

The idea of finding someone you love and spending your life with them is great. If you find that person, then good for you, that's swell and I genuinely couldn't be happier for you. But why does it need to go any further than that? Move in, share a bed, have kids, change your names if you want to, I don't care, but why get married? What's it benefit? You're partners either way, why go for some outdated bullshit to say something that's already obvious?

 

There are many benefits to being legally married, one of them is tax purposes. Another is medical reasons, say I responded to an active shooter and was shot and taken to the hospital on my death bed, in Kentucky (not sure about other states) only family members can come and see me. So, if I've been with my lady friend for 20 years and we aren't married then she is shit out of luck, can't see my alive for one last time. 

 

While not necessarily "romantic" there are still very good reasons to be legally married, many more positive reasons than negative, in my opinion. For what its worth, no one in my family is religious either, marriage has nothing to do with religion in my opinion. 

 

 

Parker

[Aoi Nagisa-chan]

I feel even more depressed after I read your topic

[effdeegee]

In my opinion, quoting a single, random article that supports your views, and then making the public declaration "good to see men are smartening up", is ignorant and reckless behavior. For shame indeed.

 

To each their own, though.

[Super-Fly Spider-Guy]

From a pure logical point, I can understand you of course. But I think the benefit is mental. As you said yourself, "you're effectively signing your life over to the other person". That's a big deal for most people since, you know, nobody get's married with the intention of getting divorced. It's the idea of being "ringed" together forever that is being used to show your partner that you really are prepared to spend your life with him/her. If you're not married, you both know that, but there's nothing to vouch for it. And being able to show the same thing to the world and more importantly, your family is a nice extra. (You can make a statement, if someone would be against the relation.) I hope you're getting what I say But I guess it's someting for the more "romantic" minds (not implying that you aren't romantic, I was reffering to the dreamy way of thinking in general, opposite of realism).

 

Oh and some facts about Belgium regarding this:

52% of the Belgian couples are married.

Only 4% of the Belgian population is an active practitioner of a religion... (That's about 440.000/11.000.000 Belgians)

Source: Belgian newspaper: HLN

 

So I don't think religion is an argument, besides it occurs in probably more than 80% (my guess) of all cultures, so I don't think it originated from religion either, even though it is tied to religion just about everywhere.

Valid argument. I understand your point entirely, and I get how it can be different to others, but to me, that's just showing off your happiness. Which I understand completely, but for me personally, I'm more of a quiet happiness kind of guy, I'll be in my corner all smiles and whatnot and not feel the need to tell everyone. But if your point is entirely about wanting a fancy way to say you want to spend your life with someone, then I'm with you, that at it's core is awesome.

 

There are many benefits to being legally married, one of them is tax purposes. Another is medical reasons, say I responded to an active shooter and was shot and taken to the hospital on my death bed, in Kentucky (not sure about other states) only family members can come and see me. So, if I've been with my lady friend for 20 years and we aren't married then she is shit out of luck, can't see my alive for one last time. 

 

While not necessarily "romantic" there are still very good reasons to be legally married, many more positive reasons than negative, in my opinion. For what its worth, no one in my family is religious either, marriage has nothing to do with religion in my opinion. 

 

 

Parker

Fair point, here in Australia though, at least in the little experience I've had with hospitals, you basically just write down who you want to be let in or kept out. That being said, proof of your commitment to someone would probably get them in when you're comatose and can't do anything, so you have a valid point. I regret mentioning my stance on religion and should probably clarify: I'm against the concept of it. Believing in something irrational is stupid. That core fundamental, while incredibly condensed, is the reason I hate religion. Believing in spending your life with someone is brilliant, and if there's no linking between your marriage document and a Church of some sort, then that's something I could get on board with. Most of the time when there's an argument afoot I jump in with the intention of having my opinion changed to be honest, but I can't stop seeing the link between "Holy matrimony" and little bobble head Jesus up there dancing about all happy like. You make good point, Dylan forgot his point.