HeartUnderBlade Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 So I like sarcasm and I love Chuck Norris jokes. Since I'm bored I want to see what you guys have here are some I know Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 30 people, then the grenade exploded Chuck Norris attack sharks when he smells them bleed I don't give a damn about Chuck Norris, If he was as godly as they say, he would come to my house and smash my head against the keybo fidjfjndnfskjdsl,akmeiiewkaLAKQWIJ3EFNDNCDS,CKofoefokeoh 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PekaGernet Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think, you should watch "The Expendables 2" :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartUnderBlade Posted August 23, 2012 Author Share Posted August 23, 2012 I think, you should watch "The Expendables 2" :-) I will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANTIOX_ Posted August 23, 2012 Share Posted August 23, 2012 cant stand chuck norris, worst action star ever!! sorry guys 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WOWJAREDISCOOL Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 cant stand chuck norris, worst action star ever!! sorry guys i died a little inside when i read this 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeroHR_Tv Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Chcuk Norris can speak Braille Chcuk norris counted to infinity....twice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlay_ Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 When Alexander Bell invented the phone, he had three missed called from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You just answered the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear carpet. The bear isn't dead, he's just afraid to move. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no signs of life. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to wear his underwear outside his pants. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SitusKiss Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Chuck Norris divides by zero. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi. Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice. Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the Richtor Scale. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*^k down. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartUnderBlade Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*^k down. hahahaha lol best one yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoBomb Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Just a few good sites http://www.nochucknorris.com/ And for those that are portuguese, IU wanted to find this in English but couldn't find, Try to translate everything. http://desciclopedia.ws/wiki/Chuck_Norris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSXtreme_ Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*^k down. Oh damn!! Best one EVAR!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WOWJAREDISCOOL Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 When Alexander Bell invented the phone, he had three missed called from Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear carpet. The bear isn't dead, he's just afraid to move. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no signs of life. Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it. Really liked these ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartUnderBlade Posted August 31, 2012 Author Share Posted August 31, 2012 Chuck Norris, Jesus and the Pope were in a boat. Jesus got off and walked to shore. Chuck followed him. The Pope tried, but drowned. Back on shore, Jesus asked Chuck "Should we have told him about the rocks?" Chuck replied "What rocks?" Chuck Norris doesn't mow the lawn. He intimidates it into a fetal position. Chuck Norris was born on March 10, 1945. The Nazi surrendered 2 months later. Coincidence? I think not. I originally heard this as a Bruce Lee joke. I didn't know about that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartUnderBlade Posted September 1, 2012 Author Share Posted September 1, 2012 (edited) let's be honest, wasn't Chuck Norris the real master of Bruce Lee? Edited September 1, 2012 by entimecago Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattmatt_ Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 (edited) My favorite one - When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris. Edited September 26, 2012 by mattmatt_ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrunoBomb Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/chuck-norris-top-50-facts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laker818 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris. As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. CHUCK NORRIS ONCE WALKED DOWN THE STREET WITH A MASSIVE ERECTION THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours. Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullstomp Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Some of the jokes were funny. Though I am surprised people still tell Chuck Norris jokes. Honestly, I saw Expendables 2 and thought to myself that Chuck Norris stuff died 10 years ago and most people won't get it. Shows what I know lol. My favorite is "Chuck Norris can make a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together" Edited March 8, 2013 by Bullstomp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightWing127 Posted March 8, 2013 Share Posted March 8, 2013 I laughed so hard about the snake joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beyondthegrave07 Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 (edited) Ghosts gather around fires to tell Chuck Norris stories Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land! Edited May 25, 2013 by Beyondthegrave07 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widow_Warrior Posted May 25, 2013 Share Posted May 25, 2013 chuck norris is overrated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luneth Posted May 26, 2013 Share Posted May 26, 2013 The reason Waldo is in hiding is because of Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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