Popular Post Cassylvania Posted April 22, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 22, 2023 I used to consider myself part of the 99% club, but it's getting harder and harder just to maintain my supposedly "finished" games. (Looking at you, Graveyard Keeper.) It's also hard to reach that sub-40% average rarity goal when I have to resort to shorter games every now and then just to maintain my sanity. That said... Platinum #375 - A Short Hike This one wasn't even in my backlog, but I heard good things about it and it was only a few bucks, so... A Short Hike has you playing as Claire. A bird. Apparently that's a dress she's wearing. I thought that was just part of her body. It's sorta hard to tell what you're looking at in the game because everything is heavily pixelated. I actually thought it might be TOO pixelated at first (despite how much I love that style), but I ended up liking it. I liked the game too. It's a relaxing experience, which is what a short hike should be. I should know because I'm this group at work where we're competing with other groups to get the most steps over the next eight weeks, so I've been doing a lot of real world trekking. Claire can fly, so she kinda cheats. Anyway, the plot of the game is that Claire is waiting for a phone call, but she has bad reception, so she needs to hike to the top of a mountain. I'm not kidding. I know you're used to me giving silly explanations for the plot when I either don't pay attention to it or purposely misinterpret it, but this is the actual plot the developers went with and I'm all for it. It's simple and relatable. It's also not important because why do we climb any mountain? To get to the platinum, of course. Now, you could go straight for the peak and reach it pretty quickly, I imagine -- I saw a speedrun of someone completing the game in under three minutes -- but you could also take your time and do other things. You can collect seashells, fish, join a marathon, hunt for treasure, or wander in the wrong direction for an hour because you're too lazy to read sign posts. You have a goal, but the freedom to play at your own pace. The immediate analogy here is probably Celeste (just a lighter story and much simpler platforming) but I was actually reminded of a different game: Night in the Woods. It's not as heavy as that story either, but the characters, dialogue, art style, and font choice reminded me of it. Everybody is a furry and most of them talk in all lowercase letters. Sometimes they use all caps. I don't know why, but I like the personality this gives to cozy games. Maybe because it's more like the kind of casual conservation you'd have with your friends while texting than the professional writing you'd see in more sophisticated games. Claire can jump by pressing the X button and glide by holding down the X button. That's really the only controls you need to know for the game. You can technically do some sick dives while you're gliding, but it's not necessary to beat the game or for the platinum. To reach the top of the mountain, though, you'll need to collect Golden Feathers, which are the main collectible in the game. You get these by doing side quests or finding them throughout the map. Each Golden Feather allows you an additional jump that you can perform in midair, so you'll eventually be able to reach high locations simply by jumping enough times. This makes falling less of a concern. It's not like it's very hard to climb the mountain anyway. This game is obviously pretty charming, which is why it's received such high reviews. One of the things I appreciated is the dialogue. What the characters say is rather simple, but the way in which they react to a given situation is rather unique. For example, there's a kid who asks you to collect fifteen seashells for her. In most games, the NPC would be programmed to repeat a specific line (e.g. "Did you find all my seashells yet?") until that task is completed. Here, I actually noticed different dialogue when I spoke to her with slightly less than fifteen seashells. Claire was like, "I've found thirteen seashells so far," and the little girl was like, "Is thirteen more or less than fifteen?" She then proceeded to insult me some more. I know that doesn't sound like much, but it's little touches like that that I remember when I go to write these reviews. I'm even keeping a little notebook by my side when I play games now. It's almost like I'm becoming a professional. I will say this game is probably a little overrated for what it is. It's a short game with very little replay value or substance. (I literally woke up one day this week and beat it before breakfast.) For speedrunners, I can definitely get the appeal, and it's certainly worth a play if you like easy platinums. I don't think anything was really that challenging. The boat race took me a few tries, I guess. Racing Avery to the top of the mountain was a bit of a pain too. I'd say play it if you see it on sale or if it ever becomes free. The game is chill, which I really need right now because everything else in my life is chaotic. Don't ever buy a house that needs a lot of work. If you do, make sure you know what you're doing first. We now begin the long hike towards platinum #400. This was not a milestone. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassylvania Posted April 23, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 23, 2023 Platinum #376 - Katamari Damacy Reroll Everybody, get ready to blow your bullshit whistle. 20 hours to platinum, my ass. Alright... In an effort to finally get my backlog under 100 games (we're currently at 104), I decided to start targeting some of the shorter games on my list. Also, some of the more casual games. I feel like I've done enough research with most games in my backlog that I'd have a pretty good idea what I'm getting myself into beforehand, but this was a game I hadn't really researched, not sure how I obtained (I assume it was a free PS+ game), and looked just bizarre enough that it caught my attention. I've never played a Katamari game before, but I was aware of the basic concept that you roll a ball around and try to capture objects smaller than you. 50 (yes 50) hours later, I'm not sure if there was anything more to the game than that. I played most of the game in a stupor. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be high while playing this. Anyway, what's the plot? You play as a little green terrorist. You have absolutely no abilities. Your only purpose in life seems to be to roll a ball (called a katamari). When the katamari touches an object smaller than it, it becomes part of the katamari and the katamari grows bigger. If you hit a wall or object larger than the katamari, there's a chance that some of the objects in the katamari will fly out and it'll get slightly smaller. Your basic objective in every level is to get the katamari as big as possible within a certain amount of time. There are a couple exceptions to this, but that's more or less what you'll be doing the entire time you play. Now, with such simple controls, you think this game would be easy to play. I struggled with the tutorial. It's hard to explain how you roll the katamari, but you need to use both joysticks. Pushing both joysticks in one direction will roll the katamari in that direction. If you push one joystick up and the other one down, you can rotate the terrorist, which is something you need to master because the camera hates you. You can also "quick jump" (essentially a 180 degree turn) and dash, but I never figured out how the dash worked and never needed it. You can also jump (why?) and enter first-person mode (why?), but the only time you'll use these is when you press the button by accident. The levels get progressively bigger and longer. There are only three maps (house, town, and world), but they have many sub-areas and are absolutely littered with trash for you to pick up. Some objects are stationary while others move or try to "attack" you. It's not always clear when an object is bigger or smaller than you, so sometimes you'll ram into an object and lose your momentum. Other times, you'll get in a groove and collect a whole string of items while the weird Japanese music blares and colors fill the screen. There's something strangely cathartic about this game when that happens. It also feels good to return to earlier parts of a level and run over a person or object that was getting in your way before. This game goes out of its way to make itself look cute, but there's something much darker hidden beneath the surface. This game is a drugged-up power fantasy. So, there are two ways to review this game. From a casual gamer perspective, this is fun. I'd consider it to be yet another cozy game, which is obviously where I pitch my tent most of the time, but there's plenty here for speedrunners and trophy hunters too. I'm not into speedrunning, but there's a big community out there for it and I could see this being a popular game. The only problem is that most levels are timed and you have to wait for the timer to run out before you can advance to the next stage. For trophy hunters, there's really only one trophy worth talking about and that's the one for collecting all 1438 items in the game. That is not a typo. The game actually expects you to capture all 1438 items in your katamari. Not all at once (although that would be cool), but you ARE required to successfully finish the level with that item in your katamari for it count. That means if it's a 20 minute level, you have to pretty much see the whole thing through. It also means you have to be careful not to lose that item. You can sometimes recover an item after it gets knocked out of your katamari, but some items are rare and only appear in specific places on certain levels. You'll probably only have around 1100 items when you finish the game for the first time. For the rest, you'll need to keep replaying the levels and trying to find all the items tucked away in hidden corners. You'll definitely need a guide for this and the game doesn't do the best job at tracking items for you. (You can see what items you've found, but you'll have to figure out for yourself which ones you're missing.) I ended up having to play most levels several times, which is why I think the PSNP trophy guide estimate is wrong. I had to resort to multiple checklists, walkthroughs, and video guides to find everything. One of the things that makes finding some items so difficult is that they'll actively "disappear" from the map when your katamari reaches a certain height. So, don't think you can just become gigantic and roll over a house to capture all the items inside it. The other challenge, of course, is keeping the item once you've captured it. There's one level where you have to capture this little dude, but he's surrounded by giant watermelons and balls. If you get too big, he'll disappear. But if you're small, it's very difficult to reach him and escape without getting bounced all around (which will likely cause you to lose him, as the game seems to prioritize losing the most recently captured item first). And since it's hard to make out what items are in your katamari, you may not even notice you lose an object you were looking for until after you finish the level. This is why it took me several evenings to whittle down my remaining items. The infamous items to collect are the Holy Cow and Kintaro-Bear. These levels are both the easiest and hardest levels in the game. Unlike every other level, these levels automatically end when you capture any cow (or cow-themed object) or bear (or bear-themed object). That makes them possible to beat in only a few short seconds, but much, much more difficult if you're hunting for a specific cow or bear. Not only do you have to avoid anything that resembles a cow or bear, but you need to get big enough to capture the one you're looking for. This could take several minutes and the slightest mistake could end the level prematurely. It doesn't help that you're likely to get knocked around by cars and other moving objects, or that it's not always clear what's safe to collect and what isn't. It took me pretty much a full evening to get the Kintaro-Bear, but I got the Holy Cow on my third try. Go figure. (It helps that levels aren't randomly generated, so you can follow a preset path and basically get the same result every time.) I thought I was going to have more to say about this game, but I really don't. It's bizarre. The main thing that's holding me back from recommending it isn't the collectibles. I don't like games with timed levels. I struggle to think of a game where having a timer made the game a better experience. Maybe Majora's Mask? But that game was built around the timer. The story and gameplay would fundamentally change if you were to remove it. Nothing major would change if you were to remove it from Katamari, and that's proven by the "Eternal" levels that you can unlock, which are much more fun because you're free to roll around as long as you'd like. You know what a timer reminds me of? My commute to work. Every morning, I stare at the clock on my dashboard and mathematically try to figure out how many traffic laws I'm going to need to break in order to get through those front doors on time. Right now, I'm looking at the clock and trying to calculate how many hours of sleep I'll get if I stop this review right now and go to bed. That's stressful for me. I don't like thinking about time when I'm playing a video game. I want to lose track of time, not be reminded of it. I also struggle to recommend any game that requires a checklist of more than a thousand items. In short: cute game, but I think this will be the only game in the series I'll be playing. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pelagia14 Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 Quote You can also jump (why?) and enter first-person mode (why?), but the only time you'll use these is when you press the button by accident. I really don't understand games that have a useless first-person mode. And I love the snark! ? Quote And since it's hard to make out what items are in your katamari, you may not even notice you lose an object you were looking for until after you finish the level Gosh, that sounds like an absolute nightmare for trophy hunting. That, and the forced-long times to complete some or all levels. When the first Katamari Damacy came out for the GameCube, I always wanted to give it a spin since it seemed fun and quirky. I was considering adding this game to my "Games to get once my backlog is a healthier size", but now it's definitely not going on that list. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaManSmevz Posted April 23, 2023 Share Posted April 23, 2023 13 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Platinum #376 - Katamari Damacy Reroll Everybody, get ready to blow your bullshit whistle. 20 hours to platinum, my ass. BRUH. I recently wrapped this one up myself and agree 100%, no clue where the guide writer got 20 hours from... I was so excited for this because I played it on the PS2, but that was back when I played games like a normal person! Getting everything was such a grindy (and at times downright difficult) task, and in direct contradiction to how fun-loving and chill the game generally is. Now that the second game is getting the remaster treatment, it makes me sad but it'll likely be a hearty "fuck no" from me? Anyway, great write-up, and props for finishing it so swiftly! I had to take like six months off before finally completing it. Big up to all those ThumbsofSteel videos too, talk about a godsend... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 On 4/23/2023 at 1:36 AM, Cassylvania said: 50 (yes 50) hours later, I'm not sure if there was anything more to the game than that. I played most of the game in a stupor. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be high while playing this. I ended up having to play most levels several times, which is why I think the PSNP trophy guide estimate is wrong. I had to resort to multiple checklists, walkthroughs, and video guides to find everything. It took me pretty much a full evening to get the Kintaro-Bear, but I got the Holy Cow on my third try. Go figure. (It helps that levels aren't randomly generated, so you can follow a preset path and basically get the same result every time.) In short: cute game, but I think this will be the only game in the series I'll be playing. Aww Cassy, I don’t know if after all this you sound like you disliked the game or just “needed some space” from it after 50+ hours which…. DAMN! I think the trophy guide estimate is on the lower side (20 hours) but I went back to my archives and saw that it took me 24-25, and that was with my total incompetence on the kintaro-bear/holy cow levels which took me 5 1/2 combined for just those two items. I guess the estimate didn’t really seem that egregious to me given I know that if I was simply a better player, 21-22 would have been realistic. I just… can’t fathom how it took you 2x as long as it took me? I don’t think I was very good. I WILL say I did use the 180 turnaround maneuver a lot and never found myself having issue with the timer on levels except for when I was learning the mechanics early on. Your final comment made me crack up as it reminds me of what I felt having played Valkyrie Chronicles ?, basically “glad I played it, get why it’s beloved, but I’ve had my fair share for the series.” 21 hours ago, YaManSmevz said: I was so excited for this because I played it on the PS2, but that was back when I played games like a normal person! Getting everything was such a grindy (and at times downright difficult) task, and in direct contradiction to how fun-loving and chill the game generally is. Now that the second game is getting the remaster treatment, it makes me sad but it'll likely be a hearty "fuck no" from me aww, sorry it was such a grind for you too Smev. I remember you commenting after my review and saying you were excited to get back to playing it ? That being said… I somehow did NOT know the 2nd game will be getting remastered so thank you for that! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaManSmevz Posted April 24, 2023 Share Posted April 24, 2023 46 minutes ago, realm722 said: aww, sorry it was such a grind for you too Smev. I remember you commenting after my review and saying you were excited to get back to playing it Yeahmann, it was a weird and unexpected disagreement between my actual enjoyment of the game and my experience going for the plat, I wasn't expecting it and frankly it still feels odd to me. On paper I should've enjoyed every moment I played! 46 minutes ago, realm722 said: That being said… I somehow did NOT know the 2nd game will be getting remastered so thank you for that! Given your experience, I'd absolutely recommend We ? Katamari for you! Based on my memory banks from 2005, it was superior to Damacy, and the weirdness is cranked up some. In between levels there's all these weird peeps chillin, making goofy noises on a loop, I remember loving "HIIIGGGHHHHNEEEESSSS" and "YOUR MAJESTYYYYY" the most? .....man. Let me know how it goes actually, I may end up giving in and playing it anyway! @Cassylvania if it makes you feel any better, I looked it up on TrueTrophies and I played it for 51 and a half hours, so you did better than I did! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taruta13 Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 (edited) On 4/21/2023 at 8:39 PM, Cassylvania said: Don't ever buy a house that needs a lot of work. If you do, make sure you know what you're doing first. I get you, Cass. My dad bought a little apartment nearby which needed a TON of work because the last owner was a jerkwad who didn't care what happened to it and had some wild parties in it. The plumbing was shot to hell, the floor was covered in carpet which was decorated with used cigarettes, and the walls were a frekking mess. It too three months to clean the place out and make it look cool... and then three years later I moved back to my parent's house after my dad sold that place and commissioned some guys to build a shack for me to live in due to situations involving Biden and his policy on damn real estate. Not complaining, this means I never have to wait for my parents to pick me up, but I had to get rid of my cat because there was no room for a litter box or food bowl. I don't even have an oven! Edited April 29, 2023 by Taruta13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taruta13 Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 (edited) On 4/23/2023 at 0:36 AM, Cassylvania said: The infamous items to collect are the Holy Cow and Kintaro-Bear. These levels are both the easiest and hardest levels in the game. Unlike every other level, these levels automatically end when you capture any cow (or cow-themed object) or bear (or bear-themed object). That makes them possible to beat in only a few short seconds, but much, much more difficult if you're hunting for a specific cow or bear. Not only do you have to avoid anything that resembles a cow or bear, but you need to get big enough to capture the one you're looking for. This could take several minutes and the slightest mistake could end the level prematurely. It doesn't help that you're likely to get knocked around by cars and other moving objects, or that it's not always clear what's safe to collect and what isn't. It took me pretty much a full evening to get the Kintaro-Bear, but I got the Holy Cow on my third try. Go figure. (It helps that levels aren't randomly generated, so you can follow a preset path and basically get the same result every time.) Yeah, these levels are the reason I stopped playing the Katamari Damacy series. You have to be very agile to avoid touching a cow or bear until you get the right ones. One mistake and you start all over. I did play the first two Katamari games but stopped playing after the stories of the King of Cosmos got stupid. Like, while playing tennis with his wife, he does a super drive which OPENS UP A BLACK HOLE. Then again, it IS Japanese. Oh, do I even NEED to say how difficult it is to roll up ONE MILLION ROSES?!? Edited April 26, 2023 by Taruta13 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassylvania Posted April 26, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 26, 2023 On 4/23/2023 at 1:46 PM, pelagia14 said: When the first Katamari Damacy came out for the GameCube, I always wanted to give it a spin since it seemed fun and quirky. I was considering adding this game to my "Games to get once my backlog is a healthier size", but now it's definitely not going on that list. That's the kind of service I provide! Playing all those wacky, obscure, maybe-good-maybe-not games so you don't have to. 8 hours ago, realm722 said: Aww Cassy, I don’t know if after all this you sound like you disliked the game or just “needed some space” from it after 50+ hours which…. DAMN! I think the trophy guide estimate is on the lower side (20 hours) but I went back to my archives and saw that it took me 24-25, and that was with my total incompetence on the kintaro-bear/holy cow levels which took me 5 1/2 combined for just those two items. I guess the estimate didn’t really seem that egregious to me given I know that if I was simply a better player, 21-22 would have been realistic. I just… can’t fathom how it took you 2x as long as it took me? I don’t think I was very good. I WILL say I did use the 180 turnaround maneuver a lot and never found myself having issue with the timer on levels except for when I was learning the mechanics early on. I actually wondered this too. I completed the game in eight days and I highly doubt I played an average of 6.25 hours per day. Not when I was getting home after dinner some days. I know I leave my games idle a lot while I eat and do other things, so it's possible that contributed to an hour or two here or there, but I still think I was in the 30-40 hour range at least. I also consider how long it'd take me to the platinum the game again if I tried to do it a second time, with all the knowledge and experience I have now. I don't think I could do sub-20 hours. If I don't think I could meet the time to platinum on my second playthrough, I'm going to blow that bullshit whistle. 7 hours ago, YaManSmevz said: @Cassylvania if it makes you feel any better, I looked it up on TrueTrophies and I played it for 51 and a half hours, so you did better than I did! It does. Sometimes I feel like I'm crazy when I'm the only person calling out ridiculous time estimates. Platinum #377 - Detroit: Become Human In the not-too-distant future (literally 15 years from now), there was an android named Kara, not too different from you or me. She worked for the Williams family, just another face in a white jumpsuit. She did a good job cleaning up the place, but her boss didn't like her, so he shot her into space. Wait, that's not what happens... Where'd my script go? What we have here, guys, is another installment from David Cage, the same man who brought us Press X to 'Jason' and several other interactive dramas I never got around to playing. I always say I'm going to platinum Heavy Rain on this account, but I always make some excuse that I should only play games that have to do with rain in April, and...well, my opportunity this year is just about over. I also decided to skip over the more controversial Beyond: Two Souls, which I've never played, and jump straight into this game, which I heard is the best Mr. Cage has to offer. As someone who has routinely shown disdain for science fiction -- especially science fiction involving robots -- I was fully ready to lampoon this game from the moment I started. About three hours in, I came to a realization. These androids have more personality than the "humans" I see in other video games. Other developers should be ashamed. THIS is how you write compelling characters. THIS is how you make an interesting story. The closest comparison I can think to make is the last game I played last year: Last Stop. If any of you are old enough to remember the magazine Highlights, there's a section called Goofus & Gallant, which is intended to teach children the right and wrong way to handle any situation. Gallant does everything right, while Goofus is an asshole and fucks everything up. In this scenario, Detroit: Become Human is Gallant and Last Stop is Goofus. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to structure Last Stop the way they did, but this game makes it clear why that was such a bad choice. So, both Detroit and Last Stop feature three central storylines that you cycle between. The biggest difference is the storylines in Detroit actually feel like they're connected and are part of the same world, even if the lead characters rarely cross paths. Last Stop feels like you're watching TV with your dad, who keeps changing the channel every time there's a commercial, so it's sometimes a comedy, sometimes a cop drama, and sometimes a sci-fi flick. It's weird and jarring and your dad doesn't seem to realize it's bothering everyone in the room. (It also doesn't help that the writing is clearly better in the comedy, making the other two storylines a nuisance.) I wanted to like that story, but it doesn't help when it keeps being interrupted. Detroit puts its world first and then allows you to see that world from the perspective of three unique individuals, who just happen to be androids. Apparently, fifteen years from now, we'll all have robot maids and other machines to take our jorbs. Times are tough for both humans and androids. The humans feel like they're being replaced by "things" with no emotions, while the androids are being abused and struggling to find their place in the world. There's obviously a lot of meat to this bone and I don't want to delve too deep into any one storyline for spoiler reasons, but I think it'd be good to take a quick peek at each storyline so you know what to expect. Let's have a little... ROBOT ROLL CALL. Kara! Now, Kara has the best storyline. She's basically Rosie from The Jetsons, if George beat her up on a daily basis. (Come to think of it, I think he did in at least a few episodes...) She's an AX400 model, which means she was designed to serve as a housekeeper. Her master is a sleazy, grease stain of a man named Todd Williams. Apologies to any Todds out there, but Hollywood has decided "Todd" is the universal name for an insufferable asshole (see: Breaking Bad, Supernatural, Zoolander, Todd Sweeney) and this guy fits the bill. He is absolutely disgusting. If his only purpose in the game was to make the player sympathetic towards the androids, then he should get a raise. I haven't discussed going deviant yet, but an android can essentially have a psychotic breakdown if they're pushed too far or are given conflicting orders. Every android you play as has the chance to become a deviant, and it's a one-way street once it happens. Deviants are hunted down and destroyed or have their memories reset. That's the central conflict for all three storylines. In Kara's case, she is programmed to serve the Williams family, but what happens when one Williams threatens another? Well, obviously she's going to side herself with the one not named Todd. Her storyline revolves around her trying to protect Alice, Todd's daughter, and your actions and dialogue choices influence their relationship. I normally like being an asshole in games, but I found it very hard morally to select anything that Alice would disapprove of. That's usually the sign of a good story. I can actually pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with this game. Early on, you're tasked with cleaning Todd's house, which is somehow even messier than the house I'm renovating. Todd tells you to get to work and then sits down to watch a hockey game. Now, I have this thing when it comes to video games that whenever an NPC brushes me off and acts like they have something better to do, I follow them and see what they're up to. Usually, they stop somewhere not far away and just stand around, making me feel superior because I'm controlling a playable character and they're not. I also wanted to see how long before the footage of the hockey game would loop. These are basically ways in which I purposely try to remove myself from the immersion the game is trying to create. Well, I didn't get to see the footage loop because Todd suggested I find a better use of my time (in a not so nice way). I wasn't done with him. I stood in front of the TV, Kara's butt to his face, and snickered to myself because no NPC would be programmed to...GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY, KARA. I busted a nut. I tried TWICE to break the immersion and failed. It was like David Cage was crawling around inside my head, anticipating my every move before I made it. By itself, that probably doesn't seem like much, but it's that attention to detail that elevates a game to a whole new level in my opinion. (I also think Kara was a great inclusion to this game. I haven't gotten around to playing and reviewing Heavy Rain yet, but I thought the girl in that game was pointless and forgettable. I don't even remember her name. But Kara is a character that is both likable and relatable. I also like that she's an android, but she's not the Terminator. You really do feel she's in danger when Todd goes nuclear on her.) That close-up of Todd's greasy face, practically foaming at the mouth, was the moment I knew this game was something special. Connor! Now, Connor has the best storyline. He's a prototype built by CyberLife to assist law enforcement in capturing deviants (essentially, like the FBI agent in Heavy Rain, but a machine). Because he's a machine, he can think like a machine, and the game opens up with you taking control of Connor in a hostage situation. Unlike Kara, I think it's harder to navigate your moral compass when playing Connor because it's not always clear whether you're a good guy or the antagonist. "Humans" are not portrayed in a flattering way in this game. You're probably going to find yourself siding with the androids more often because they're typically the ones being abused. I mean, if machines were sentient, my alarm clock would probably want to murder me in my sleep. It's no surprise that androids would fear humanity or want to break free. Connor's partner in the police force is Hank Anderson, who is every cliche you can imagine for a grizzled police detective. I basically picture him as Lucky from Bonkers or Hank from Breaking Bad. Anyway, Hank hates androids, so you also get that cliche of the grizzled police detective not liking his rookie partner, but with actual reason. Unlike Heavy Rain and what you'll see in my upcoming Virginia review, there wasn't a lot of unlawful entry or evidence tampering in this game, which I appreciated as someone who watches way too many cop shows and is tired of this sense of entitlement. Similar to Alice, Connor's relationship with Hank is dependent on the choices you make (although I guess it's a bit easier to tell Hank off if you don't like him.) Markus! Now, Markus has the best storyline. It's also the hardest one to describe without getting into spoilers. In short, Markus is the anti-Connor, championing the fight for android rights. It's up to you whether Markus chooses peaceful protesting or a violent uprising. I haven't really talked about this much yet, but you essentially have to play through the game twice, so you're likely to choose the "good" path during your first playthrough (which, in Markus' case, would be the pacifist route, I guess) and the "bad" path for your second playthrough. As with the other two playable characters, it can feel morally wrong to make decisions that negatively affect the lives of others. Now, in my notes, I wrote down that Markus reminds me of Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels. (I also wrote "sand lol" underneath it.) I think that's a fair analogy. Not only does he sound like Hayden Christensen, but he's constantly struggling between doing what he feels is right and getting revenge on those who have wrong him. I am serious this time in saying he has the best storyline. I think he's the best written character, and I think his storyline is the most fleshed out. It's also the most fun to play through. There's a good amount of action, comedy, mystery, drama, and suspense throughout the game. It's definitely on the higher echelon when it comes to narrative-based stories and I'm certainly going to recommend it. Not much else to say. Graphics are really good. The fourth wall-breaking android lady on the title screen creeps me out. The voice acting is solid. There are a lot of QTEs, which are one of my least favorite video game mechanics of the past 30 years, but they're not hard. Because all of the playable characters are androids, there are also some neat mechanics that involve analyzing a crime scene or reconstructing how something happened or planning out an action you want your character to take. And, of course, because the androids outnumber the humans in this game, some of the stiffer movements and choppy dialogue are done intentionally and feel natural instead of out of place. I know I usually complain when a game forces you to play through it twice, but there are enough choices to make (a staggering amount, actually, as evidenced by the flowchart that appears at the end of every chapter and fills up about five screens) that it doesn't feel unwarranted or unwelcome. I did take an extended break between playthroughs, though. You might want to do the same. If you got it for free, I don't think there's any excuse not to play it. I'd put it above the meme that is Heavy Rain and I actually liked that game a lot. Am I coming around to robots? Probably not. But like dusty ol' Hank, maybe I have a heart of gold after all. [EDIT: Par for the course, I wrote this review towards the end of my second playthrough before realizing I'd have to do a complete third playthrough for a single trophy I missed. It was a pain in the ass and I like this game a lot less now. Why can't I just get one platinum in a timely manner?] [EDIT 2: On the other hand, that third playthrough led to some interesting new scenes because I was intentionally trying to avoid content, so I guess it wasn't so bad. Some of those scenes require the player to be so incompetent that I'm probably the only person in the world who has ever seen them.] 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pelagia14 Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 Last year I forced myself to finally platinum the plothole-ridden mess that was Heavy Rain (as part of my "it's time to retire the PS3" trophy cleanup). I've heard from a friend who occasionally games that D:BH was really good, but I find it hard to trust recommendations from friends who don't have enough experience to tell if a gameplay mechanic is actually groundbreaking (versus just new to them), things like that. I was also skeptical that David Cage could actually make a solid narrative game, even though I know that sometimes people can learn from their mistakes and evolve. As someone who literally grew up in metro-Detroit, the emphasis of the city name in the game's title also had me worried that Cage would lean into a very meme-able and stereotyped version of the city (despite being set in a sci-fi future) which would lead to a plot that would try and fail to be super deep. Thus, I'm really happy to hear that you had a good experience with D:BH, and that the characters are really compelling! This year I'm trying to focus on games in my backlog that either fulfill various requirements for PSNP Community Events or are on the PS+ Catalog. D:BH has now jumped really high on my list of PS+ Catalog games to tackle, based on your review! Quote Now, I have this thing when it comes to video games that whenever an NPC brushes me off and acts like they have something better to do, I follow them and see what they're up to. Usually, they stop somewhere not far away and just stand around, making me feel superior because I'm controlling a playable character and they're not. ^ This is hilarious! I wish I was better sometimes at pulling myself out of a game's immersion and testing its boundaries in a more deliberate manner, so I really enjoyed your account of messing with Todd's hockey-watching. While I don't normally go out of my way to 'test' a game, I always notice and appreciate when developers take the time to add subtle details and try to account for various player behaviors. (Side note: I hope you do platinum Heavy Rain one day, mainly because I expect it would be a hilarious read! It sounds like you initially played the game a long time ago - as did I - though on a different account, and it is astounding hilarious just how poorly the game has aged. ?) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaManSmevz Posted April 26, 2023 Share Posted April 26, 2023 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I also consider how long it'd take me to the platinum the game again if I tried to do it a second time, with all the knowledge and experience I have now. I don't think I could do sub-20 hours. If I don't think I could meet the time to platinum on my second playthrough, I'm going to blow that bullshit whistle. I'm used to having much longer play times than most on account of being a marginally skilled gamer (at best), but even on this one I was like "No waayyy." While there were some psychopaths who completed this game in like eight hours(!!), based on what I saw on TT the average is closer to 35 hours. So blow away! ...I'm gonna think of a better way to say that. 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Platinum #377 - Detroit: Become Human In the not-too-distant future (literally 15 years from now), there was an android named Kara, not too different from you or me. She worked for the Williams family, just another face in a white jumpsuit. She did a good job cleaning up the place, but her boss didn't like her, so he shot her into space. And another one! This was a great read. Detroit was the first PS4 game I played that really had me like "whhooooaaaaa....," the graphics, score, and in depth story made my socks go flyin. Also you're takin it back with the Goofus and Gallant talk! Effective, too - if I so much as entertain the idea of buying Last Stop, I will picture Goofus coming to my house and spilling paint all over while breaking a window or two. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rally-Vincent--- Posted April 26, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted April 26, 2023 (edited) One of Kara's storylines has some of the most disturbing settings I have ever played - if she and Alice get caught at the ship assault. Really uncomfortable. And what's worse, you can make it even worse with one of the decisions. Spoiler The Recycling center... man. Edited April 27, 2023 by Rally-Vincent--- 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassylvania Posted April 27, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 27, 2023 (edited) On 4/26/2023 at 2:06 PM, pelagia14 said: I was also skeptical that David Cage could actually make a solid narrative game, even though I know that sometimes people can learn from their mistakes and evolve. As someone who literally grew up in metro-Detroit, the emphasis of the city name in the game's title also had me worried that Cage would lean into a very meme-able and stereotyped version of the city (despite being set in a sci-fi future) which would lead to a plot that would try and fail to be super deep. I almost feel like the setting doesn't matter in Detroit. It makes sense for it to take place in a major Rust Belt city -- and Detroit is probably the best option, given its history and recent struggles -- but they could've made up a fictitious city and it would've worked all the same. The bigger challenge in tolerating the game, I think, is not being bothered by the political, societal, and even religious issues that are addressed or alluded to. I could see some people getting turned off by this. If I had to think of an analogy to something you might have seen or played, I'd say Zootopia is a good example of how the game uses a fictional world to tackle real world issues. People who were bothered by Zootopia would probably not appreciate Detroit. On 4/26/2023 at 2:06 PM, pelagia14 said: (Side note: I hope you do platinum Heavy Rain one day, mainly because I expect it would be a hilarious read! It sounds like you initially played the game a long time ago - as did I - though on a different account, and it is astounding hilarious just how poorly the game has aged. ) I think it was one of my very first platinums, way back in 2010. I can remember most scenes vividly just because of how many times I had to replay them. If I were to go for the platinum again, I'd have to think of some way to spice things up. It's unfortunately one of those games that does not get better with subsequent playthroughs. On 4/26/2023 at 2:14 PM, YaManSmevz said: I'm used to having much longer play times than most on account of being a marginally skilled gamer (at best), but even on this one I was like "No waayyy." While there were some psychopaths who completed this game in like eight hours(!!), based on what I saw on TT the average is closer to 35 hours. So blow away! I kinda want to blow the bullshit whistle on Detroit taking 20 hours too, but I held off... (Took me 38, but I'm going to assume most people will get Undefeated on their first playthrough. If I understood what "fights" were necessary to get the trophy, or how the save system works if you skip around to various chapters, maybe I wouldn't have needed another full playthrough.) On 4/26/2023 at 2:58 PM, Rally-Vincent--- said: One of Kara's storylines has some of the most disturbing settings I have ever played is he and Alice get caught at the ship assault. Really uncomfortable. And what's worse, you can make it even worse with one of the decisions. That one is bad, but you know what's even worse? Spoiler If you prevent Kara from going deviant -- something I didn't even know was possible, but I wanted to try it anyway because I thought it would cut down on my third playthrough -- Todd beats his daughter to death. That was fucked up. I'm so used to children being immune to death in video games that it came as an actual shock. And now, as promised... Platinum #378 - Virginia On May 21, 2022, I subscribed to PS+ Premium. I know this because I wrote on a little post-it note and stuck it to my wall: "You have until May 21, 2023 to make PS+ worthwhile." Since then, I have downloaded and played a total of four games from the subscription. Let's take a look at them and see if I got my money's worth. Maneater Rocketbirds Chicory Last Stop How much would you pay for these games? $20? $30? The correct answer is $13.99, which is the lowest price Chicory has gone for when it goes on sale. Nobody should be paying money for the other three games. When you factor in I actually had to PAY for Maneater's DLC, I'm pretty sure I would've been better off flushing my money down the toilet. At least I wouldn't have wasted my time. That said, in an effort to salvage what little dignity I have left, I decided I'll try to play as many PS+ Premium games over the next four weeks as possible to justify my purchase. A little birdie (no, not the one above) told me Virginia was being removed from the subscription in May, so I decided to start with that. It was supposed to be a 3 hour platinum, so I figured I'd platinum it in around 18 hours. Virginia has you playing as...no, not Virginia. That would be stupid. Nobody is named after a state. You play as Anne Tarver, a rookie FBI agent. There are actually two plots happening simultaneously here. The first plot is that a little boy has gone missing. The second plot is that the FBI agent assigned to the case, Maria Halperin, has been acting suspicious and you're tasked with monitoring her activities. You do this under the guise of working as her new partner. Playing this alongside Detroit, it was hard not to see the parallels to Hank and Connor. This game follows last year's theme of having absolutely zero dialogue. This is a bold choice to make for a narrative-driven game. It's been done successfully before, but usually with non-human characters or an otherworldly plot/setting. Last Day of June is one of my favorite examples. These kinds of games require the player to pay attention to sights and sounds and to draw their own conclusions based on inferences and past experiences. It can seem limiting, but it's also more intimate. Think of the opening sequence in Pixar's Up. Arguably the best intro to an any animated movie, it tells an entire story of one man's life without a single line of dialogue. The music and animation obviously helps to set the tone, but it's presented in such a way that even a kid can follow what's happening and understand what Carl is feeling at every moment in the montage. It's proof once again that you don't need dialogue to tell a good story. Virginia...uh...has a different approach to storytelling. It decides to be vague. This is on top of it being a thriller and not telling the story in a completely chronological or palpable way. It's like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. This is what I call a gas station burrito game. It looks like a mess going in and an even bigger mess coming out. It's a shame too because I think there are a lot of good ideas here, but maybe it was a bit too ambitious or the execution just wasn't at the level it needed to be. I could see some people being completely turned off to this game and others finding it extremely boring and slow-paced. I'm also not sure I took the story as seriously as the developers wanted me to. For example, there's one scene where there's a cave-in and my partner got hit with a beam. I thought it was hilarious and nearly spilled my hot cocoa. I don't think that's the reaction that I was supposed to have. Does that make it a bad game? I mean, there are a lot of terrible movies that I like because I find them unintentionally funny, but I suppose the same thing could apply to video games. I laughed at Erica a lot too and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a single scene in that game was supposed to be comedic. That said, this isn't going to be a negative review. I actually enjoyed the game. I'm not just saying that to be ironic. The story isn't that hard to follow. There are a lot of subtle and not-so-subtle clues that let you know what's going on and how characters feel about you. For example, on your first visit to the local diner, Maria sticks you with the bill. I don't need a character to come right out and say they don't like me. Actions really do speak louder than words. It's one of the reasons I push so hard for more games to go the "show, don't tell" route. I've been in enough situations in my life to know when somebody doesn't respect me as a person. It's more insulting to me when a writer thinks that a character can only speak through words than whatever it is the character is saying. You wanna know how to really piss me off as an NPC in a video game? Keep dying on an escort mission. So, yeah. Maria is a huge asshole that I think you're supposed to come around to so you feel bad for spying on her, but the developers forgot to give her redeeming qualities. There isn't enough time or substance to the game for you to build a rapport with her and she's not relatable (or likable) like Hank in Detroit. Again, I really feel playing these games at the same time made Virginia seem a lot less effective to me The graphics are interesting. At first glance (meaning when I saw screenshots of the game), I thought they looked cheap and uninspired, like stock images or asset flips. I can see they look much better in-game. The cel shading reminds me of The Long Dark and the colors are really vibrant when you're outdoors. It's when you're riding in the car with your partner that this game is at its best. I kinda want someone to make an asset flip of this game, but under a different genre. Music is good too. I mean, it kinda has to be. You're going to have to rely on your ears a lot if you want to become invested in this world. The bar scene is my favorite. The late-game montage is pretty cool too. There are some stupid plot points I want to complain about, but then I'd have to ruin the story for everyone. Let's just say Anne is probably not FBI material. I don't know what else to say. The game is only about an hour and a half long. Of course, me being me, I fucked up some of the trophies on my second playthrough and had to play through partially a third time. I think I'm going to stop writing these reviews during my play sessions. I'm not as good at multitasking as I pretend to be. I don't know if I'd recommend this game. It's "free" (for a bit longer), I guess. Not sure it adds any value to a PS+ Premium subscription. I certainly don't feel I got my $50 worth. I guess it made Last Stop seem like a slightly better game...? Like, if I had finished this game before Detroit, I probably would've referred to this game as Goofus instead. It definitely has it flaws. That doesn't mean its without its charm. It's just natural for me to compare games when I play them back-to-back, and some poor sap had to be the sucker to follow up Detroit. On the flip side, I'm sure it's going to make the story for whatever platinum #379 is seem amazing. And before anybody says anything, yes, I know Cult of the Lamb just took a massive dump on my profile. I'm used to it by now. Edited May 21, 2023 by Cassylvania 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taruta13 Posted April 29, 2023 Share Posted April 29, 2023 (edited) You didn't mention that you have to play Virginia twice due to a trophy requiring two playthroughs. Yeah, I had platted this game on an older profile, but I don't think I can play this game again. There are a lot of games I platinumed that I won't touch again, like Infamous: Second Son. The only reason I played these games was because that was all that was good at the time. Now there are far better options for me. (Like the PS5 version of Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom. Seriously, it took them ten years to get a PS5 stack for this? ) Edited April 29, 2023 by Taruta13 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassylvania Posted May 1, 2023 Author Share Posted May 1, 2023 On 4/29/2023 at 3:35 AM, Taruta13 said: You didn't mention that you have to play Virginia twice due to a trophy requiring two playthroughs. Well, I did say it took me three playthroughs... Basically, just add an extra playthrough or 30% of the average time to platinum any time I'm involved with a game. That formula should more or less hold up. Alright. Let the fight to justify a PS+ Premium subscription continue! Platinum #379 - Life is Strange: True Colors Last time, on The Miserable Pile... "The next game I play will have a story that will put Virginia to shame!" Let's test that theory, shall we? Is this game true to what I said, or are we sailing under false colors? Life is Strange: True Colors is the...fourth (?) installment in the LiS series. Apparently I missed one along the way. I know I've made it pretty clear that I have a terrible memory, but I actually remember the exact day and time I played the first LiS game. I don't even need to look it up. It was in May 2016. More than a year before I even started this thread. The reason I remember it is because I successfully defended my thesis in graduate school the same day. Yes, while normal people would be going out and celebrating, I curled up at home and joined Max and Chloe on their little emo-filled adventure. And even though I have very little in common with two teenage girls, I still have fond memories of that game and that time in my life, which coincidentally is sorta the theme of that game and I guess the entire series. Life really is strange, isn't it? Anyway, I played Before the Storm sometime after that (apparently May 2018 -- I needed to look this one up), and I remember almost nothing about it. Guess that shows how much of a lasting impression it had on me. I dunno. Making Chloe the central character kinda took some of her mystique away. Reminds me of what happened when Happy Days thought Fonzie should be the main character. One shark jump later and a whole idiom was born. This game puts us in what I assume is a different unique, with an entirely new cast of her characters. You play as Alex Chan, a girl with probably the worst superpower ever invented: the power of empathy. Yes, while Max is out there controlling time and Chloe is turning everybody into a lesbian, Alex is...understanding how people feel. People are basically giant mood rings to her, glowing with a specific "aura" (red for angry, blue for sadness, etc.) when they feel an emotion strongly enough. This also extends to objects. For example, if Alex could tap into my PS5 controller, she'd see how pissed off I was that she's the slowest moving character in video game history. This allows her to essentially read people's minds, which...OK, that's not such a bad power at all. She uses it to help someone win a jelly bean counting contest, which is clearly the best use of that ability. Of course, with great power comes great drama. Alex has lived much of her life bouncing around foster families and orphanages. That makes her a little harder to relate to than Max or Chloe, I think. I don't think most people had Alex's childhood. That said, she's a likable enough protagonist and I think most people can sympathize with the emotions she's going through as she returns to her long lost brother at the start of the game, even if very few would have ever found themselves in that position. I'd probably punch my brother if we were separated for a while. Alex's options are to hug him or give him a handshake. So, Alex's brother lives in this tiny mining town in Colorado called Haven Springs, which instantly made me think of Night in the Woods. (I know that game was set in western Pennsylvania, where I live, but I imagine that's small town life all across the country.) Just like that game, not everything is as it seems and you're eventually going to get caught up in an emotional-filled mystery. I don't think it ever quite reaches the level of quality of the original LiS, but few games do. For what it's worth, it does have its moments. There's some clever writing here and the characters have really nice...teeth. Is that a weird thing to say? I just like how realistic the subtle facial animations were. Voice acting is good too. Graphics serve their purpose, but there weren't a lot of unique places to visit. You're mostly walking down a single street and visiting a few stores. This is probably a good thing because, again, Alex is basically a zombie with how slow she walks. You can hold R2 to make her move 0.05 times faster. The biggest problem with this game is its plot. It's very underwhelming. There are only five chapters, but the pacing is all over the place and one of the chapters centers entirely around a... *sigh* ...LARP. I'm not even kidding. What's worse is that it might be the best chapter because of how creative it is. It's not usually a good sign when I'm more interested in a game-within-a-game. And, unfortunately, it doesn't just end there... There are a lot of games-within-a-game here. For example, you get to play foosball. I got my ass kicked. You get to play a drinking game. I actually won this one because it was based around logic. There are also arcade machines that I never bothered with because, let's be real, I have enough games to play. Some of the decisions you make are supposed to be hard, but the problem is they usually come down to a single dilemma: use Alex's powers or don't. I don't know why you'd pick the latter. That'd be like playing a Superman game and choosing to be Clark Kent the whole time. But with a lot less at stake and a lot lamer superpower. Characters are pretty good. I liked Steph and Ryan. Jed too. And the music, as always with this series, is solid. I think if you can get over some of the cringier bits, this is a melodramatic adventure worth playing through. I don't regret it, which is something I don't also say after earning the platinum. Here, you can just play through at your own pace, using a collectibles guide to get the only missable trophies. None of them should trip you up. Also, this is sort of an aside, but my experience playing this game was greatly diminished by the circumstances. We had this guy (a friend of the family) fixing something simple in the kitchen and it took THREE full days. Basically the entire weekend. It was annoying and frustrating and I kept having to get up to help with stuff, and then I'd sit back down, play for two more minutes, and then I'd have to get up again. Naturally, my cat kept opening and closing my door at the same time. Dude wants in my bedroom when the door is closed and then immediately wants out. I love my family, but I can't wait to have my own place. I just want to play my games in peace. It's SO. DAMN. ANNOYING. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH. The good thing about my reviews is you don't need Alex's powers to know exactly how I feel. I leave it all out on the line. Right there for the whole internet to see. PS+ Premium subscription satisfaction meter: 15%. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassylvania Posted May 4, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 4, 2023 (edited) Platinum #380 - Haven "Awesome." "Your butt's awesome." Less than 60 seconds into the game and I'm already scribbling madly into my notebook. I remember @realm722 reviewing this game. I thought it was recently. I had to go all the way back to April 2021 to find the review. At the time, realm considered it the most disappointing game of the year, which would normally be enough to keep me away. For whatever reason, I was still interested. Probably because of the artwork. After playing it... I think realm was far too nice to this game. This is going to be an evisceration. Before we get into that, I want to explain the basic plot and the few things the game does well, because realm and I have very different takes on this one. The story revolves around two lovers named Kay and Yu who live in a society called the Apiary where couples are "selected" by some entity called the Matchmaker (sorta like an arranged marriage). Kay and Yu both decided to swipe left on the person the Matchmaker paired them up with, so they ran around together and are essentially in hiding somewhere in space. The game has very light platforming, combat, and survival mechanics. You're mostly there to observe the budding relationship between these two lovebirds. Now, it's worth mentioning that both Kay and Yu can be a male or female, depending on your choice at the beginning of the game. You could have two male leads, two female leads, or a male and female lead. I went with the default choice. However, if I had known how overly sexualized this game would be, I would've opted for some girl-on-girl action, just so I could finally reference this song: I keep asking myself, wondering how I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out Want to fly to a place where it's just you and me Nobody else, so we can be free Nobody else, so we can be free (Did you know that song originated from dental surgery?) I point this out solely because the entire game is voice acted and the male Kay and female Yu VAs did a phenomenal job. Probably some of the best VA work I've heard. I don't know how the other two VAs sound, but I hope they continue to get work in bigger and better projects. I'm going to complain a lot about the writing in this game, but I have no complaints about the audio department. Second, the artwork is beautiful. The opening cinematic is great and the hand-drawn character models for Kay and Yu are great. They're detailed, expressive, and well-animated. The in-game graphics aren't too bad either, but they kinda remind me of Virginia, where it switches back and forth from looking nice and easy on the eyes to looking cheap and low quality. I also really liked the loading screens. I mean, I hated them because they're EVERYWHERE, but they're accompanied by some cute drawings of Kay and Yu doing various activities. And that's where it ends, guys. Everything else is total garbage. This should've stopped right here and been a visual novel. Instead, they tried to make an actual game out of this. Where to even begin...? Let's start with the story. Realm liked the relationship between Kay and Yu. I...would rather have dental surgery. In order for you to understand what it feels like to play Haven, I want you to imagine you're trapped in an elevator with two horny teenagers. They're groping each other and sucking on each other's faces, while calling each other by silly little pet names. For some people, they'd enjoy that. If you're anything like me, though, you'd rather have the cables snap and the elevator to go careening down into the fiery pits of hell than listen to them for one second longer. I just couldn't get into it. It's ENTIRELY because of the writing, though. I'm not even sure why the writing is as bad as it is. I could understand if they were trying to put adult content into a kids' game, but this comes with an M rating. There's no reason for them to hold back on the writing. Instead, you have every cuss word replaced with "bloot" (I think it means both fuck and shit) or "boron" (I guess moron?). You also have made up terms, like "lumsec" or something for a long unit of distance and Frocember for some month in winter. It's awkward and distracting. It'd be one thing if they were going for some deep and intricate lore, but they're obviously just making a reference to something that already exists, so why do that? What justification is there for this story taking place somewhere other than Earth? It also doesn't help that Kay and Yu are already...passionate, let's say, about each other at the start of the game. There isn't a lot to build on there. I think this game may have benefited from having a prologue or at least sprinkling in little bits of their backstory here and there. (We get a little of that through cutscenes, but it's entirely spoken.) It's hard to become invested in their relationship when you feel like a third wheel as soon as the game starts up. Again, though, this may just be a personal preference. I'm not somebody who is typically into romantic stories, so somebody who is might be more easily moved by the way this story is presented. I considered sharing some of the more cringey bits of dialogue here, but they're pretty meaningless without context. (Pretty meaningless with context too.) We'll just jump into gameplay. So, the #1 complaint of this game from most people is probably going to be the movement. You can walk, but I was wrong when I said Alex from LiS: True Colors is the slowest character in video game history. Kay and Yu take home first place. What you actually do is glide, which is done by holding down R2. This causes Kay or Yu (whoever you're playing as -- doesn't really matter since they functionally play the same) to zip across the screen. You can drift to make tighter turns and follow glowing lines of light (called "flow") to reach higher areas on the map. This is the only reason this game is a 3/10 in difficulty. There's a trophy called Ain't no mountain high enough (now that song is stuck in your head too), which requires you to follow one of these flow lines through a bunch of twists and turns to the top of a mountain. I got it on my third try, but I can understand people not liking the movement in this game. Even worse, I think, is navigation. You don't have a radar at the beginning of the game, which makes it easy to get lost. Even when you have a radar, though, it's annoying to try to figure out how to reach certain areas. There's a semi-fast travel system, which is semi-useful, but most of the time I find myself having to hoof it back to base... Not fun. Yes, there is a base, but don't get too excited. The cooking and crafting in this game is very rudimentary. The base-building is basically non-existent. "The Nest", as it's called, is your spaceship, which is where Kay and Yu can cook, craft, grow a garden, play pick-a-bobble (Uno -- I told you, they're not even trying), shower, and have sex. They're all pretty useless. I guess cooking is kinda beneficial because it restores your health and gives you some experience points. I honestly don't know what happens if your hunger meter runs out. Cannibalism, I hope. But really, there are spots you can camp at throughout the map, and you can always cook and eat there. There are plenty of fruits and seeds to find along the way. Then there's the combat. I don't even want to describe it. It's bad. I could describe it and it would sound bad, but it's something you really need to see for yourself. When I finished my first battle, I thought to myself, "There's no way they're going to have me do this for the entire game," but I was wrong. That's exactly what the developers thought was an acceptable battle system. Let me just TRY to explain how it works. So, you control Kay with the directional pad and Yu with the four shape buttons. You're only selecting the moves that they use. If you press left (or circle), they use a melee attack. If you press right (or square), they perform a magic attack. If you press them at the same time, they team up and perform a more powerful version of that move. Green enemies are weak to melee attacks. Red enemies are weak to magic attacks. Down (or X) puts up a shield. Up (or triangle) "pacifies" a downed enemy. You have to pacify an enemy once you've knocked it out in order to remove it from the field. That's...basically it. Kick the green enemies. Shoot the red ones. Why even BOTHER having combat in your game if you're going to make it a joke? It's actually worse than I make it sound because you don't just press the button. You have to hold it down for like two seconds. During this time, an enemy could attack and interrupt you, I guess. It doesn't really matter. You can play on Reduced difficulty like I did, which eliminates any challenge, save for Beruberu or whatever. Oh, and another annoying thing. Enemies have an HP bar, but you can only see the color (green for near full health, yellow for mid health, and red for low health), so sometimes it won't even feel like you're damaging an enemy because their HP doesn't appear to be going down. Same with Kay and Yu. You'll see yourself taking damage, but you can only estimate their remaining health based on the glow from their suits (blue, yellow, and red). I think you can change this in the Settings menu, but I was too lazy to bother. I found this game to be basically insufferable. If the character portraits weren't so good and if the VAs didn't absolutely carry the story, this would be more than just my Most Disappointing Game of 2023. This might take home that award for the decade. I am thoroughly disgusted by this game. Realm was nice enough to offer some advice to the developers on creating a sequel. I have some too: don't. This is no way justifies having a PS+ subscription. I feel more ripped off from playing this game than if I would've from not playing anything at all. Absolutely the worst game I have played this year. EDIT: OK, that Bee game was worse... Now, if you'll excuse me... It's May the 4th and I have a real space exploration game to begin. Edited May 6, 2023 by Cassylvania 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post grayhammmer Posted May 5, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 5, 2023 I played and loved Jedi: Fallen Order, @DrBloodmoney says it's terrible. I play and like Haven, @Cassylvania says it's one of the worst games this year. Fuck me, is my taste really that bad? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I remember @realm722 reviewing this game. I thought it was recently. I had to go all the way back to April 2021 to find the review. At the time, realm considered it the most disappointing game of the year, which would normally be enough to keep me away. For whatever reason, I was still interested. Probably because of the artwork. After playing it... I think realm was far too nice to this game. This is going to be an evisceration. LMAO. I got whiplash with this opening paragraph. I saw you liked my review from ages ago and got giddy because I was like: "FINALLY somebody I know is going to play and review this game" since despite the success of Furi and some decent marketing, I feel like NOBODY bought it. You made me re-read my review from then so I'm looking forward to seeing how we contract in our experience! 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I point this out solely because the entire game is voice acted and the male Kay and female Yu VAs did a phenomenal job. Probably some of the best VA work I've heard. I don't know how the other two VAs sound, but I hope they continue to get work in bigger and better projects. I'm going to complain a lot about the writing in this game, but I have no complaints about the audio department. 100% with you on this. It's one of the reasons why I enjoyed their dynamic so much. 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Second, the artwork is beautiful. The opening cinematic is great and the hand-drawn character models for Kay and Yu are great. They're detailed, expressive, and well-animated. The in-game graphics aren't too bad either, but they kinda remind me of Virginia, where it switches back and forth from looking nice and easy on the eyes to looking cheap and low quality. I also really liked the loading screens. I mean, I hated them because they're EVERYWHERE, but they're accompanied by some cute drawings of Kay and Yu doing various activities. Yesssssss! Game looks great. I agree sooooo much on the loading screens. They're adorable. I DO remember now that you mention it there being an absurd amount of loading screens (for basically every island you move to in the game) but at the very least they put something interesting visually to catch your eye until they start repeating. 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Let's start with the story. Realm liked the relationship between Kay and Yu. I...would rather have dental surgery. In order for you to understand what it feels like to play Haven, I want you to imagine you're trapped in an elevator with two horny teenagers. They're groping each other and sucking on each other's faces, while calling each other by silly little pet names. For some people, they'd enjoy that. If you're anything like me, though, you'd rather have the cables snap and the elevator to go careening down into the fiery pits of hell than listen to them for one second longer. AWWWWWWW C'MON CASSY. I will concede that yea... if you're not into lovey-dovey romance, this is probably not going to be your cup of tea lmao. I love seeing couples happy together. I am a complete sucker for it. Seeing all of the dorky stuff one does when you're intimate and don't have that layer of insecurity. I also understand that there are people who wanna roll their eyeballs outta their head at it. Agree to disagree! 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I just couldn't get into it. It's ENTIRELY because of the writing, though. I'm not even sure why the writing is as bad as it is. I could understand if they were trying to put adult content into a kids' game, but this comes with an M rating. There's no reason for them to hold back on the writing. Instead, you have every cuss word replaced with "bloot" (I think it means both fuck and shit) or "boron" (I guess moron?). You also have made up terms, like "lumsec" or something for a long unit of distance and Frocember for some month in winter. It's awkward and distracting. It'd be one thing if they were going for some deep and intricate lore, but they're obviously just making a reference to something that already exists, so why do that? What justification is there for this story taking place somewhere other than Earth? LMAO I had forgotten about this but yea... I even wrote that in my review. WHY DO WE HAVE AN M RATING EXACTLY IN THIS GAME? IS IT BECAUSE OF IMPLIED SEX? Because it kind of boggles my mind. On one hand, I notice in your review that you comment on how the game is mega horny. But... I GET WHY IT'S MEGA HORNY. These two just escaped what was for them a prison where they coudn't be together and now they're completely on their own free to finally act and do as they please. That being said... either go all-in on the M rating rather than skirt around the sex (we couldn't even get a GoW mini-game?) OR avoid that and go the kid's game healthy relationship route as you mentioned. 4 hours ago, Cassylvania said: It also doesn't help that Kay and Yu are already...passionate, let's say, about each other at the start of the game. There isn't a lot to build on there. I think this game may have benefited from having a prologue or at least sprinkling in little bits of their backstory here and there. (We get a little of that through cutscenes, but it's entirely spoken.) It's hard to become invested in their relationship when you feel like a third wheel as soon as the game starts up. Again, though, this may just be a personal preference. I'm not somebody who is typically into romantic stories, so somebody who is might be more easily moved by the way this story is presented. My movie stats tracker says out of the 552 movies I've seen, 98 have "romance" in the genre type. I think this is where you and I disagree a bit. As someone who loves the genre, it is extremely simple and safe to show the "meeting, blossoming, and eventually blooming" with some ups-and-downs along the way of the relationship. You don't see the parts of the movie after the couple get married since typically it's not "compelling" unless an issue arises. What made me so excited about Haven is... they were going the ambitious route of NOT playing it safe. They were going to just try and show a happy relationship without that core conflict (until the end) and... DAMN THAT'S BOLD AS HELL. You have to have the writing and enough mechanics around it to support it (which I think the game lacked, and you certainly also think it lacked) but.. I love trying for that as opposed to going down the typical path. Although now that I think about it... would I play a prequel with action combat of Yu & Kay's forbidden romance aboard the Apiary where we see them fall in love and have to fight their way out before getting happily ever after? That sounds like a pretty good game. 4 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Then there's the combat. I don't even want to describe it. It's bad. I could describe it and it would sound bad, but it's something you really need to see for yourself. When I finished my first battle, I thought to myself, "There's no way they're going to have me do this for the entire game," but I was wrong. That's exactly what the developers thought was an acceptable battle system. It STILL BOGGLES MY MIND!!!!! Like... I wrote in my review that I could have stomached it if every other element of the game was excellent. If the traversal was a blast, I could do without some mindless rock-papers-scissors combat. BUT HOW DID THE FOLKS WHO MADE FURI (A 9.0, ONE OF MY FAVORITE GAMEPLAY ACTION GAMES OF ALL-TIME) THINK THAT THIS WAS ENOUGH? It's like the hit artist who is so sick of people hearing more of the same song that they decided to release an album in the genre of country jazz to make people shut up forever. It's clear to me they didn't want combat to be the focus, but if it was going to be this poor, they shouldn't have included it (but that prolly would have exposed how little else there is to do in the game) 4 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I found this game to be basically insufferable. If the character portraits weren't so good and if the VAs didn't absolutely carry the story, this would be more than just my Most Disappointing Game of 2023. This might take home that award for the decade. I am thoroughly disgusted by this game. Realm was nice enough to offer some advice to the developers on creating a sequel. I have some too: don't. This is no way justifies having a PS+ subscription. I feel more ripped off from playing this game than if I would've from not playing anything at all. Absolutely the worst game I have played this year. Tell us how you really feel Cassy, lmao. Nah but I get you. If I hadn't enjoyed Yu/Kay's dynamic, I probably would have scored the game in the 5's (not a 4 since it's too short to have been that miserable). I'm still optimistic about future iterations of the genre. I wanna see more games make romance/relationships the focal points that aren't VNs. Just... with a lot more to them. I still trust the folks over at The Game Bakers. Hopefully their next game they get back on track! Thanks for playing the game even though you ended up thoroughly disliking it. It's one that I had been waiting for someone else to play to actually have someone to discuss it with. I hope Tunche scores better ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassylvania Posted May 5, 2023 Author Share Posted May 5, 2023 1 hour ago, grayhammmer said: I played and loved Jedi: Fallen Order, @DrBloodmoney says it's terrible. I play and like Haven, @Cassylvania says it's one of the worst games this year. Fuck me, is my taste really that bad? No way. Jedi: Fallen Order is an amazing game, as I'm sure the sequel will be. Haven is...probably not as bad as I made it sound. I'll admit I was a little harsh in that review. When I remembered I also played Bee Simulator this year... and Time on Frog Island... yeah, Haven was better than both of those. I might even put it above Lost in Random and The DioField Chronicles. The difference is all those games are fundamentally broken (primarily because of the combat). Haven was disappointing to me because they had a good concept and a talented team. I haven't played Furi, but I saw the work that went into the characters and their design. Out of all those games, Haven would be the easiest to fix, and it's just frustrating to me that it's being held back almost entirely because of poor decisions. If you can look past those (or if they don't bother you) and appreciate the game, that's great. It has much more positive reviews than those other games I mentioned, which I expected to be mid at best. I don't know how anyone can hate Fallen Order. The trophies, sure. But not the game. 39 minutes ago, realm722 said: AWWWWWWW C'MON CASSY. I will concede that yea... if you're not into lovey-dovey romance, this is probably not going to be your cup of tea lmao. I love seeing couples happy together. I am a complete sucker for it. Seeing all of the dorky stuff one does when you're intimate and don't have that layer of insecurity. I also understand that there are people who wanna roll their eyeballs outta their head at it. Agree to disagree! I feel the writing is going to be the most contentious part of that game. I think most people would agree the graphics and audio are good, while the exploration and combat mechanics are poor. It really comes down to how you feel about the dialogue. When I see lines like, "Let's not start pushing before the panties are pulled down," I want to punch the character who said it. The problem is that the delivery is so good that...in a way, I was annoyed because it SHOULD sound cheesy and awful. I have no clue how the VAs managed to work with that material. That really is the miracle with Haven. 53 minutes ago, realm722 said: Thanks for playing the game even though you ended up thoroughly disliking it. It's one that I had been waiting for someone else to play to actually have someone to discuss it with. I hope Tunche scores better I can guarantee you it will. I'm still glad I played it. It was a fun game to review. Understand my reviews are just my opinions and I know not everybody is going to agree with me. I blasted Outer Wilds and I'm pretty sure the internet wanted to skewer me alive for that. At the very least, I can look at Haven and say, "Yeah, there's an audience for this." Far be it from me to expect every game to cater to my weird tastes. I mean, I apparently want Elsa to impale me with a giant icicle. That's really strange. Normal people don't think like that. I'll be taking any other PS+ suggestions you guys have... I have three more weeks to justify this purchase. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrBloodmoney Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, Cassylvania said: I don't know how anyone can hate Fallen Order. The trophies, sure. But not the game. The long answer: The short answer: … that said, that review batch also has my extremely positive LiS: True Colours review…. …and I think Before the Storm is the best one of those games… …AND I really liked Lost in Random… …AND I think Outer Wilds is one of the best games ever made… …so we might just have to chalk this up to, “we pretty much agree on nothing…” ? Edited May 5, 2023 by DrBloodmoney 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taruta13 Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 On 5/4/2023 at 8:48 PM, realm722 said: AWWWWWWW C'MON CASSY. I will concede that yea... if you're not into lovey-dovey romance, this is probably not going to be your cup of tea lmao. I love seeing couples happy together. I am a complete sucker for it. Seeing all of the dorky stuff one does when you're intimate and don't have that layer of insecurity. I also understand that there are people who wanna roll their eyeballs outta their head at it. Agree to disagree! I'm not into romance either, but... I put in a lot of visual novels. Putting in one more soon with DoraKane, which is about a girl making friends with three girls(and having romantic endings with them) while playing a mobile gatcha game like Final Fantasy Brave Exvius. Also, I just platinumed Asdivine Saga and it has romantic endings(though those are are lot tamer). So I'm not against romantic stuff in games. However, I do agree that there is more to explore than just having sex, and the designers of Haven should have made the non-romantic activities fun as well. Glad I am not picking this one up. On 5/4/2023 at 9:46 PM, Cassylvania said: I mean, I apparently want Elsa to impale me with a giant icicle. That's really strange. Normal people don't think like that. Elsa is actually The Sorceress? Yeah, referencing that scene at the end of Disk 1 in FF8. That CGI was some twisted sh** back in the day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cassylvania Posted May 8, 2023 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 8, 2023 Platinum #381 - The Artful Escape The Artful Escape is a psychedelic fever dream brought to you from the Annapurna Interactive, makers of such classics as Stray (yay), What Remains of Edith Finch (amazing game), Gone Home (we're going in the wrong direction), Last Stop (oh no), and that space exploration game where you try to land on the sun but can't because the gravitational pull is too great. But is this an artful masterpiece or was I looking for the first door to escape? Let's find out. In this game, you play as teenager Francis Vendetti, nephew to the late and great Johnson Vendetti, a legendary folk musician. The residents in your tiny mountain town of Calypso expect you to follow in your uncle's footsteps, which is a lot of pressure to put on a young man who would secretly rather play rock 'n roll. Fortunately, Carl Weathers shows up to save the day, as he usually does, and invites you on a tour of the cosmos. Before you know it, Francis is bailing from fuckin' Calypso with hunger in his heart, and he journeys far and wide to find the secrets of his art. But in the end he knows he will find his counterpart. Roooooooock! Rah-ha-ha-hock! Raye-yayayayaye-yock! Uh, sorry. I spaced out there for a moment. Let's put the story aside for a minute. This is a fever dream, so the story makes about as much sense as you want it to. At least in terms of the adventure you go on, which I imagine is what it's like to take drugs. I wouldn't know. I've never even smoked pot. But I will say the actual plot, of feeling the need to meet the expectations of others and living in the shadows of someone else, is familiar to a lot of us. This game is essentially about finding out who you're not, as its tagline suggests. (I'm just glad we're not Kay or Yu.) You're given dialogue choices from time to time, but I don't think it affects the story in any discernible way. In fact, this is almost an on-rails kind of game, where the only "gameplay" is moving right, jumping over the occasional pit, and playing a very easy version of Simon Says during what I think are supposed to be boss fights. I don't think you can lose those, nor can you die. If you miss a note, you just start that sequence over again. Visuals, music, and voice acting are all grand here. I can't do them justice. I don't know why I even mention these in my review because, honestly, how am I going to describe how a game looks or sounds? It's much easier when I can pick apart the story or annoying gameplay bits. That's kinda my specialty. I pick out things I really like or hate and then harp on them for a few paragraphs. Here, one thing I really liked was the dialogue. It does that stupid thing where it doesn't autoplay text, which is stupid for a game like this where you're clearly going to be listening instead of reading, but there are a lot of deep, philosophical lines that only somebody really smart or really high would come up with. Like, there's one line where a character asks you something like, "Did it change you?" And you respond, "Everybody changes you. What doesn't?" Whoa, man. It's like...if I hadn't played this game, I wouldn't be the person I am now. The me I am at this moment is the result of all the conscious and unconscious decisions I've made up to this point in my life. I could've platinumed anything after Haven. I chose this. There may exist parallel universes out there where I played Omno instead... or Deliver Us the Moon... or Forgotten City... But I settled on this. There's some bastard C-dawg out there who went back and got the platinum for Ys Origin. That is the me I am not, and that is pretty deep when you think about it. I think this platinum came 39 too early... There are other lines that are a little too pretentious and nonsensical for my liking, but I get what they were going for here. One of my favorites lines is, "Even when the path is clear, I'm just continuously wandering off." That's actually the only thing I wrote in my notebook for this game. Kinda wish I had scribbled down some other bits of dialogue, but I didn't want this turning into another Haven... Yeah, um...what a trip. I could see this game getting rave reviews. I could also see it being polarizing. Art usually is. I have a friend who is an art teacher and I've tried to get her to tell me multiple times why Jackson Pollock is regarded as a great artist, when his work literally looks like something a four-year-old would make. Sometimes I think the whole world is trolling me. Maybe my tastes just aren't as refined. At the end of the day, though, art is subjective, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and cliched sayings exist for a reason. I just don't like when I'm the only person in the room who doesn't get the punchline. It reminds me of this time in high school. There was this girl. Let's call her Joelle. She was a really good artist. Smart and good-looking too. And she was rich. Her family lived in this huge house on top of the hill from where I lived, with this big pond in the front yard that you could go kayaking on. Anyway, she was tasked with painting the backdrop for a school play. I was in stage craft at the time (not by choice -- I got assigned the stage craft teacher for homeroom and he made us all participate), so I was supposed to help Joelle paint. The problem is that Joelle was basically a god with a paintbrush and I was just a lowly peon. I tried slacking off as much as I could (this was typical for me in high school), slapping a few coats on some stage props and other meaningless objects, but push eventually came to shove and I had to apply paint to the backdrop. I tried painting a bush, guys. It looked fuckin' awful. I don't even want to imagine Joelle's face when she saw how I had destroyed her masterpiece. I remember sitting through a rehearsal a few days later and my friend looked at me after the curtain came up and he was like, "Dude, Joelle is going to kill you." I don't think I ever saw her after that. I was too ashamed. Knowing her, she would've only said encouraging things to me, and I don't like to be lied to. Why does she have to be so damn perfect!? We're all flawed creatures. Everybody has a misshapen bush. You know, to this day, that is the most disappointed I have ever been in myself. People were relying on me, and I just couldn't get the job done. It's why I've never wanted to be on stage. It's why I didn't go to school for art, and it's probably why I didn't have it in me to ask Joelle for a date. She probably married some doctor who gives excellent back rubs and bowls a 280. I have no clue what I'm talking about now. I just wanted to vent a little. Let's wrap up this review. There are games and there are experiences. You can assign a value to one, while the other is priceless. If nothing else, Annapurna has contentiously made games that stand out, and I'd certainly put The Artful Escape in that group. This game was designed to be something memorable, despite its short (~4 hour) campaign. Every moment, every movement, every strum of your guitar is intended to feel euphoric, to the point that I'm glad it wasn't a longer experience. It can be exhausting to play through a game like this. If you hold down the square button while you move, background and foreground objects will light up and become interactive. It's mesmerizing but also intentionally overwhelming, with all the colors and sounds flying across the screen. I saw one of the complaints about this game was that it was boring. I don't know who said that or what game they were accidentally playing instead. This game is an experience and I'm glad I went through it. I'm not going to say that I "get it", but maybe I don't need to. I don't need to be an artist to appreciate art. Oh, I should point out I'm writing this review shortly BEFORE finishing the game (as usual). For once, I actually have a reason for doing so. My opinion on the story is going to vary GREATLY depending on what kind of ending they go for. If it's something traditional or unique, then I approve and will bump my rating a little higher. But I swear, if they have Francis wake up and realize the entire game was a dream, I'm going to break everything in my room, which will include this computer and my TV. That's why I have to post this now. You see, I can't spoil anything if I don't know the answer for myself. See you on the other side. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taruta13 Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 (edited) That's a sad story, but not as sad as mine. I was too shy to ask girls out and when I did, they had boyfriends already. I have never kissed a girl. I hope you aren't disappointed by this game. Edited May 8, 2023 by Taruta13 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rally-Vincent--- Posted May 8, 2023 Share Posted May 8, 2023 In my school days, I rang up this American exchange student girl to ask her for a date. She declined, which in itself was okay. What was not: She had a couple of guys from my school over who found it fun to listen in and to tell her what to say. The episode made its way round my year (that's how I found out about it). Probaly not a related story, but maybe Joelle just wrote in some art message board how she was incapable to play video games and thus was too afraid to ask out you who probably is a marine biologist, discovering new species twice a year that taste equally good cooked as they do raw. I also can't draw, if that helps. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slicknick3822 Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 8 hours ago, Cassylvania said: Everybody has a misshapen bush. What an amazing sentence. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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