Cassylvania's Miserable Little Pile of Platinums

[Cassylvania]

Our conditions in Rain World didn't improve much once we got to the Shoreline. We had to cross the sewers to get there -- turns out turtles aren't the only creature that mutate there -- and we had to make friends with the natives. I gave them pearls so they would stop putting spears in our eye sockets. Once they were our friends...well, they wouldn't let Ajna and me alone. They even started shacking up with us at night, which was REALLY awkward and uncomfortable. Also made it difficult to get out the front door in the morning. These tiny bunkers were our only safe haven from the rain, and I guess the natives liked using them too.

 

We made it through the Shoreline with only a few dozen deaths and met a fairy with some fireflies. I wanted to eat one so I could glow in the dark, but Ajna made me reload my save because I guess that would have ruined one of the trophies. Didn't stop me from trying them once, though! After that, we set our sights on finding the four Echoes. The first of these was in Farm Arrays, which wasn't too difficult to get to. Just had to literally teleport back to the beginning and head west. Next up was the one in Sky Islands, which was located directly above Farm Arrays...but we gave up when we had to rely on a deer rabbit (dabbit?) to carry us there. The dabbit had better ideas. So, instead, we took the long way around. Through the Chimney Canopy. It sucked. It really, really sucked. Ajna and I had to parkour off very small platforms and play the-floor-is-lava, except the floor didn't exist and the lava had teeth. That pretty much brings us to where we are now. In the present time. Hunkered down in our little bunker while the rain pounded at our walls like the big bad wolf.

 

It was much lonelier without the natives around (I guess they don't like heights) and I could tell Ajna was feeling a little down because she had been crying for about six hours now, making it very hard to hibernate. I bit the head off a bat and offered her some, but she didn't seem up for that either. In fact, it only made her cry harder.

 

It was in times like these that I knew what had to be done. I grabbed my guitar, which I kept stored in my stomach for just such occasions, and began strumming.

 

"Someone told me long ago," I sang. "There's a calm before the storm. I know, Ajna. It's been comin' for some time. When it's over, so they say, it'll rain a sunny day. I know, shinin' down like water."

 

Ajna stared blankly at me. I could tell she was overcome with emotion.

 

"I WANT TO KNOW, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN?" With my free paw, I opened the window blinds to show her the cascading death storm that was brewing outside. Literal corpses swept by. Giant eyeballs and tentacles rubbed against the glass. "COMIN' DOWN ON A SUNNY DAY!"

 

Ajna vomited again.

 

"Yesterday, and days before! Sun is cold and rain is hard. I know, Ajna! Been that way for all my time." I held her hair back this time, like a good friend. "'Til forever, on it goes. Through the circle, fast and slow. I know, it can't stop, I wonder! I WANT TO KNOW, HAVE YOU EVER--"

 

"YES, I'VE SEEN THE FUCKIN' RAIN!" Ajna grabbed the guitar from my hands and beat me over the head with it. Turned out I wasn't even safe in the bunker. "That's the stupidest question I've ever heard."

Edited July 6, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Taruta13]

Strudel.

 

Sorry, I can't stop thinking about how funny your texts are becoming.

[Cassylvania]

5 hours ago, Taruta13 said:

Strudel.

 

Sorry, I can't stop thinking about how funny your texts are becoming.

 

That's just me slipping further and further into madness.

 

Anyway, I realized I should probably describe a few of the game's mechanics if I'm going to narrate my entire adventure. I will say that I think the developers wanted the player to figure out things for themselves, so even talking about basic gameplay could be considered a spoiler. I'll try to keep this concise because we all know how good I am at not blowing things out of proportion. (I'm playing as the Survivor creature because you need to for a single playthrough platinum. I imagine the gameplay is slightly different with the other characters.)

 

Rain World is broken down into days (or "cycles"). Each cycle, your only objective is to explore and find enough food that you can successfully hibernate. You have seven hunger "slots" and you must fill at least four of them to hibernate. If you only fill up four hunger slots, that means you'll start the next cycle at zero. If you have fill up your hunger meter all the way, you'll start the next cycle at three and only need to fill a single slot to hibernate again. This is good because food is scarce and randomly generated throughout the world per cycle. To my knowledge so far, I'm really only able to eat batflies (most common source of food, but you have to catch them first), blueberries, and cockroaches. Each one fills up a single slot. There's always a rare popcorn plant that maxes out your hunger meter, but seems extremely rare. You also need a spear to open it.

 

But you aren't the only creature in this world looking for food. The world is full of horrible monsters that are much higher than you on the food chain. So, while you're trying to catch a batfly, some nasty lizard is looking to catch you. Your options of fighting back are quite limited, so most of the game involves you taking things slowly and trying to sneak past your enemies. Think "There's Always a Bigger Fish: The Game". If you see a horrible monster, realize it probably has predators too and sometimes it's better to wait for one of those to come along and either kill it or distract it. If you die, you simply restart back at the last bunker you saved at. This wouldn't be a big deal, except there's always a karma level. This makes this totally different than a Souls game.

 

Karma is a separate meter that goes from zero to five (and eventually higher, but you have to unlock some stuff first). If you die in any way (or quit out of the game mid-run), your karma drops by one. The only way to increase it is to have a successful run, which means finding enough food that you can hibernate and then reaching a bunker. This brings your karma up by a level. So, if you start at zero karma, have two successful runs, and then die, your karma will go from zero to two and then back to one because you died. The PROBLEM is that you sometimes need your karma meter to be maxed out in order to do...stuff (trying to be vague here, guys), so you're sometimes forced to stay near one bunker and keep scouring the area for food, which I guess is similar to farming for souls or blood vials in other games. I don't know how much I like this mechanic, though, because once your karma meter is maxed out, dying even once means you're back to foraging for another attempt at whatever it is you're trying to do. And if you die again...well, now you gotta do it twice. I'm typically not a fan of mechanics that require you to jump through hoops in order to get another attempt at something. The hoop-jumping should be the attempt.

 

Finally, I mentioned spears. That's one weapon you can find in the game. There's also rubbish. This can be stuff like rocks and bricks. You can use rubbish to stun enemies briefly. You can use spears to hurt them. You can also catch batflies with either. But a lot of items you can pick up have several uses. For example, you can also hurl a spear into a wall to create a climbable platform. You can't pick up the spear again once you do that, but it does allow you to reach areas that you otherwise couldn't. I think this saves between cycles. I'm not sure how long a cycle lasts, but it's usually only a few minutes. At the end of the cycle, it starts raining HEAVILY and you're basically screwed if you don't reach a bunker quickly. Actually, it's fuckiin' terrifying. This whole game makes you want to cry. I'm going to have nightmares of it raining so hard that you're crushed under its weight.

 

Thanks for the happy game.

Edited July 5, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Cassylvania]

We were trapped at the top of Chimney Canopy for a long time. Food was scarce. Enemies were abundant. We died more than we lived, making progress nearly impossible. Ajna's spirits had reached an all-time low. If it wasn't the monsters claiming us, it was gravity. As we laid in our bunker and contemplated our next move, I decided we could both use some cheering up.

 

I pulled a miniature piano out of my stomach and began to play. "Talkin' to myself and feelin' old," I sang. A batfly accompanied me on harmonica. "Sometimes I'd like to quit. Nothing ever seems to fit. Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown... Rainy days and vultures always get me down."

 

Ajna sighed.

 

"What I've got they used to call the blues. Nothin' is really wrong, feelin' like I don't belong. Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown. RAINY DAYS AND VULTURES ALWAYS GET ME DOWN."

 

"That's it. We're leaving." Ajna grabbed me in one hand, the batfly in the other, and kicked open the bunker door. A lizard was waiting for us on the other side. She leapt over it and jumped into a pipe. It spit us out into an area swarming with enemies. A giant flying centipede threatened to electrocute us. The lizard blocked our only escape. Ajna threw the batfly at the lizard, only to make it angry. It didn't matter, though, because an avian atrocity with a mask for a face swooped down from the heavens and bit all of our heads off simultaneously. It was actually pretty impressive. I wished I had been conscious long enough to commend him.

 

We awoke back in the bunker. I was still playing the piano.

 

"Funny, but it seems I always wind up here with you," I sang. "Nice to know somebody loves me."

"I really don't," Ajna said, but she didn't mean it.

 

"Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do. Run and find the one who loves me."

 

"THE ONE WHO LOOOVES ME," the batfly crooned.

 

A few hours later, we maxed out our karma and made it to the third Echo. I realized I was wasting WAY too much time on an impossible jump and could have just taken a different path to make life much easier on myself. I pretended I knew that path was there all along and I think Ajna bought it. She was too busy yelling at the camera guy to pan up in the sections where we had to do blind jumps on the top of the screen. Oh, and did I mention was my new best friend? Meet POCKET SQUID! He's a squid... that can FLY! (OK, so there's nothing "pocket" about him, but I was able to hold him with both hands to make my jumps significantly higher, so he was well worth running around without any sticks or stones.)

 

After we made Sky Islands our bitch, we headed to our next destination: The Wall. The Wall was an extremely vertical section that would have been fairly challenging for any mortal to overcome. But there were two things I possessed that no mortal would have: infinite lives and a pocket squid. Turned out I would only need one of them to clear this section.

 

"See you at the top," I said to Ajna. With both paws firmly on the cephalopod, I jumped and covered a vertical distance that Ajna could have only dreamed of. It wasn't long before a musical score was playing in the background.

 

"Raindrops are fallin' on my head," I sang. This one was much more upbeat than the one before. "And just like the slugcat whose paws are too big for his bed, nothing seems to fit. Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'!" I clicked my heels in the air as a swarm of orange-headed lizards tried to nibble at my toes. They didn't stand a chance with pocket squid carrying me higher and higher into the sky. "So, I just did me some talking to the sun. And I said I didn't like the way he got things done! Sleeping on the job! Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'."

 

I grabbed a pole that was extended horizontally from the wall and swung around it like a trapeze artist.

 

"Come on, Aj! Sing it with me!"

 

Ajna grunted something as she tried desperately to find a foothold on the first section of platforming. She was so far down on The Wall that I could barely see her.

 

"Beautiful!" I used my momentum to launch me into the stratosphere. "But there's one thing I know. The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me! It won't be long 'til happiness steps up to greet me!" I was above the clouds now and laughing gleefully. "Raindrops keep fallin' on my head. But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red. Crying's not for me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'! Because I'm freeeeee, nothing's worry meeeee!"

 

"THIS GAME IS SUPPOSED TO BE DIFFICULT!" Ajna screamed at me, but I couldn't hear her over the sound of my laughter. I made it into the bunker on the time before the rain even started. I got the fourth Eco, slapped Five Pebbles' behind, and scooped up three colored marbles on our way back down just for the hell of it. Pocket squid and I did a little dance back in the bunker while Ajna stared in disbelief. Perhaps it was time for her to become a believer.

Edited July 6, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Cassylvania]

You know, I had this whole thing planned out. I was going to spend the entire month narrating my adventure in musical format, highlighting all the ups and downs as I struggled through what is designed to be a very challenging game. There's just one teensy problem.

 

Platinum #390 - Rain World

 

They whispered to me, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am the storm."

 

This may end up being a shorter review than usual, since I already described the game's mechanics to you in yesterday's post. I guess I'll start with talking about the kind of game it is, since I completely glazed over the whole "gameplay" part.

 

So, I saw Rain World listed as a "survival platformer", which is a new genre to me. Also probably a wet dream to me, considering they're two of my favorite genres. I still wasn't sure how well they'd work together. And, after playing through this, I don't think that's the best description of the game. I struggle to call it a Souls-like because it's not about combat, but there IS combat and it's actually a big part of the game. It's not really a Metroidvania because you never really get any upgrades, even though the map would make you think it is. There's backtracking, of course, but it's open world. You're only really barred from entering the final zone when you start the game. I'm not even sure what I did that allowed me to enter that area. It's very vague about those kinds of things. The problem with calling it a survival game is that most survival games end when your character dies. It kinda defeats the purpose (and the tension) if you can keep coming back to life. So, maybe it's a rogue-like? Rogue-lite? It has procedural elements. There's definitely some RNG with where items spawn and what enemies decide to do for that run. There will be runs where you'll just plain screwed. The problem is that there no skill upgrades. You start the game with essentially the same abilities you'll end with (with only a couple notable exceptions). It's definitely a platformer, though. If I had to categorize it, I would say Rain World is a stealth-based platformer with rogue-like Metroidvania elements in a Souls-like world, in which learning enemy movement and behavior is integral to the survival-like mechanics, and oh I forgot it's a horror game too. (I'm going to have fun finding a place for this in the OP.)

 

Now, as I said, you play as a slugcat. (It's not a real thing. I looked it up.) You can jump. Holding X makes you jump higher. You're probably going to laugh when you see how pathetic both of them are. You can also pick up items to throw or to eat. And...no, that's about it. Good luck surviving.

 

Except... that's not quite it. This is a nuanced game. I kinda got Super Meat Boy vibes, even though I've never played that game. There are seemingly very subtle things that you can do that end up paying dividends if you spend the time mastering them. That's how I was able to finish this game so quickly. There is a steep learning curve, but you can literally practice it all in the tutorial area. Let me explain.

 

Slugcat has two stances. You can walk on two legs or crawl on all four. There is such a subtle difference, but it's huge when it comes to actually playing the game. If you're throwing an object, you can think of these stances as "high" and "low". Lizards, for example, are low to the ground. If you're in a high stance, you're going to overthrow them. More importantly, if you're in a low stance, you can hold X to perform a long jump. Slugcat's body will arch ever so slightly to let you know he's ready to pounce. That's also probably the best way to catch batflies. They're just a little too fast to catch if you're jumping around wildly. Work smarter, slugcat, not harder. That's what you need to be telling yourself the whole time. In addition, pressing the jump button immediately after turning around performs a backflip. If you have a spear in your hand and press down, you can actually throw the spear into the ground (rather than horizontally). You can even use this to avoid predators. In fact, there are TONS of subtle movement tricks you'll come to rely on, and what I particularly loved is that none of these are even necessary for completing the game. There are often many ways to get around an area or an obstacle. The bigger bag of tricks you have, the easier it becomes.

 

Now, at the heart of Rain World is the survival mechanics. When I started researching this game, I heard it being advertised as a harsh environment in which you're at the bottom of the food chain. That's a falsehood I want to dispel. This may just sound like I'm arguing semantics, but there's a very big difference between being at the "bottom" of the food chain and being a couple rungs above it. In Rain World, you're a couple rungs above it. To explain why that makes a difference, let's have a quick ecology lesson. Take a normal ecosystem. Say, a prairie. What's at the bottom of the food chain in a prairie? Probably grass. What would it be like to be grass? I don't think it would be ideal, but look at the benefits. You don’t have to move or scavenge or hunt. Your sources of energy are brought to you, through sunlight, soil, and water. You live or die based on, for the purposes of this analogy, random chance. The scariest thing you have to watch out for is a rabbit or grasshopper nibbling on you. But there are SO MANY OTHER blades of grass like you that you’re probably going to be fine.

 

You know what would suck to be? A mouse. What the fuck are you going to do as a mouse? You can't eat sunlight. You gotta find food. Problem is, you ARE food for almost everything that has legs, wings, or fangs. Hey look, a fox. You’re dead. Hey look, a hawk. You’re dead. Hey look, a snake. You’re dead. I don't know what you did to these developers. Maybe you stole their lunch money. Maybe you made them line up after school for wedgies. Either way, they hate you and decided you should have to play as a mouse. Sorry, "slugcat". You're a mouse. You’re a sentient snack for almost everything around you, which is way worse than being a plant. I almost think being a batfly would be a better life. Most creatures in this game ignore batflies. They don't ignore you.

 

Why does this matter? Well, because you're now in the awkward position of trying to find food in a world where so is everybody else. This may be the first time I've ever seen a proper ecosystem built into a game. If the string of genres wasn't already long enough, I would say this could almost be called a simulator because of it. Every creature in this world reacts to the presence of other creatures and the environment. You're essentially feeding the simulation just by existing. You could, in theory, just stay in your bunker and the world outside would move without you. Or you could venture out and influence it. This is the sort of thing you see advertised all the time in video games, but not to this scale. Take GTA, for example. In GTA, NPCs will mostly ignore you, unless you get in their way or try to harm them. When that happens, their behavior switches from passive to aggressive or afraid. Imagine that, but in a survival game.

 

Rain World has a deeper and more adaptive AI system. A creature can openly switch between behaviors based on a variety of factors. For example, a creature that is hunting a weaker prey can suddenly go into defensive mode if it encounters something that threatens it. Some creatures are very aggressive, while others give up the chase after a short while. You'll spend a good portion of the game learning these behaviors (essentially simulating Darwin's theory about natural selection). I'll give you some in-game examples instead of boring you with biology class again. Let's talk about the lizards. Lizards are the most common enemy in the game. They come in a variety of colors and each variant has its own behavior. Green lizards have a very short attention span. They'll only try to murder you if you're very close to them. Pink lizards will chase you for a while. Blue lizards cheat because they can "climb" the background, meaning they don't have to abide by the same platform rules as everybody else. White lizards cheat even further by being part-chameleon and blending into the background, so you really have to observe your surroundings. Black lizards are blind, but they can still hear you and they like to travel in groups. All of these creatures love to snack on slugcats, which is where most developers would stop when it comes to designing their personalities, BUT they have other behaviors that may take priority over attacking you. Lizards, for example, are very territorial. They will attack each other, even if they're the same variant. They also have to worry about predators, just like you. I would say the best way to play this game is to rely on patience, which is going to be very difficult because you're going to want to run and jump around a lot. You might as well just wear a sign that says, "EAT ME, I'M DELICIOUS" if you're going to do that. Here's my three-step process for getting this platinum: hide, observe, react. That's not unlike most video games. Look at the situation and determine if there's any scenario in which you don't die. If you can't see one, don't do it. And the thing is, there might not be a scenario like that. Sometimes the cards are simply stacked against you. It's bullshit sometimes, but so is life. I would still say there were only a handful of times I died in this game where I wasn't at fault, such as being killed the moment I entered a new screen. There's usually a little bit of a delay when you're transitioning between screens before a creature can attack you, but sometimes you just walk right into its mouth.

 

Now, as far as gameplay goes... well, I already explained it two posts above, I guess. You have a hunger meter, which has seven slots. Each food you eat fills one slot. You need to fill four slots to hibernate. If you go past four slots, then it simply makes your next run easier because you'll have to find less food. A successful "cycle" in this game is when you make it to a bunker safely and hibernating. Take too long and it starts raining and you die. Get eaten and you die. Fall too far and you die. Walk into a trap and you die. Get a spear through the face and you die. You have no health bar, so you die in one hit. When you die, you have to repeat that cycle. The game could take any number of successful and unsuccessful cycles. What's interesting is the game tracks the number of successful cycles, which is the opposite of what you'd expect. That means it's counting the number of times you lived, not died. I ended the game with exactly 150 cycles, which means I hibernated once for every one of the original Pokemon. I don't know any way of seeing how many times I died, but I'm pretty sure the entire cast of Pokemon since Gen 1 got me covered. I'd say I died at least three times for every time I made it back to a bunker safely.

 

You can actually force hibernation, regardless of how much food you have in your belly. The problem is that your game doesn't save at the start of that run and you go into starvation mode. Slugcat is a lot more sluggish for that run AND you need to max out your hunger meter before you can hibernate again. So, not only are you forced to find more food, but you're less likely to be able to do it. I don't think it's usually worth it. Your game ONLY saves when you successfully hibernate. You can abuse this with PS+ cloud saves, which I would recommend because of the "Karma" system. I actually didn't like this system at all. Basically, if you die, your karma goes down one level. If you hibernate, it goes up one level. You need max karma for a few things, so you'll often have to spend several cycles just foraging or hunting for food so you can build up enough karma to move on. Die and you have to do it again. In a way, this just artificially increases the time you'll spend doing menial tasks, but it does give you a chance to get better at the game AND better at the area you're in. You saw how I struggled with Chimney Canopy. (I looked up "worst areas in Rain World" and not a single person mentioned that one, so maybe it's just me.) I spent an entire night there just trying to get enough karma that I could get to Sky Islands, find the third Echo, and make it back. I still don't know the best way to do that. I just eventually lucked into a good run and then absolutely TORE through the rest of the game because I had mastered the controls by that point. You'll get so familiar with certain areas that backtracking to previous sections will become second nature to you, and that's a really good feeling.

 

It's July 6th. The year is just over halfway. I know it's a little too early to be talking about GOTY candidates, but I think we have a solid contender here. I have beefs with this game, guys. The wall jump is clunky. The karma system is not my cup of tea. But when I haven't even gotten to the graphics and the music and the atmosphere, which are all top notch, you know I've stumbled into something special. This game is absolutely terrifying at times and I love it. I would have really liked to capture the EMOTIONS I was going through with my narration. The problem was, I burned through it so quickly that I was writing sections that I had finished hours and days ago. Believe me, though, when I say it does start out with panic as every new creature and area you come across will fill you with dread. I did run from one screen to the other, watching bigger and bigger monsters appear and tear each other apart. But...eventually, you adapt. You grow and you learn. You accept your role in this world and you find a way to survive. I know now that I am a lover, not a fighter, and that's OK.

 

"That's seriously your takeaway here? That you're a 'lover'? You made me sound like I was the one crying the whole time, but it was you. Literally nobody believed that I was scared or that I even went with you."

 

Oh, we have one last thing to do!

 

I snapped my fingers and all the lights went out. It was darker than the Shaded Citadel. But unlike that horrible place, there were no spiders or clusters of spiders that resembled giant centipedes crawling around in the dark. There was only Ajna, standing with the glowing lantern we had been gifted from a friendly native. The golden embers bounced off her face like my sluggish body across a wall. With another snap of my fingers, a spotlight appeared from the top of Chimney Canopy and shone down on me. Pocket squid was working the controls.

 

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow, Ajna," I sang, holding the microphone to my slimy white lips. "I never meant to cause you any pain. I only wanted one time to see you laughing." With each line, I took a step down the staircase that led to my girl.

 

She continued to stare in disbelief.

 

"I only wanted to see you laughing in the purple rain."  I closed my eyes and clenched my paw as a deep magenta shower cascaded down from above. The warm droplets coated both of our faces. "Purple rain, purple rain. I only want to see you bathing in the purple rain."

 

A dozen purple-headed lizards poked their heads through the cracks in the wall and backed me up on chorus. 

 

"I never wanted to be your weekend lover," I howled, suddenly appearing on Ajna's head. "I only wanted to be some kind of friend." The batflies took out their lighters and began waving them back in forth. The tiny flames made the most beautiful colors when mixed with the lilac-hued drizzle. "Baby, I could never steal you from another. It's such a shame our friendship had to end."

 

"Why are you like this?"

 

I put a finger to her lips. "Purple rain, purple rain. Purple rain, purple rain. Purple rain, purple rain." The lizards were really giving it their all now. "I only want you to see you underneath the purple rain."

 

For the first time in a long while, I saw the glimmer of a smile poking through Ajna's face. She was no longer that frightened little girl that cried every time she saw a vulture tearing the flesh from my face.

 

"HONEY,IKNOW,IKNOW,IKNOWTIMESARECHANGING," I squealed into her ear, instantly shattering whatever emotion she was feeling. "It's time we all reach out for something new. That means you too. You say you want a leader, but you can't seem to make up your mind. I think you better close it and let me guide you to the purple rain!"

 

"You're such an asshole."

 

"Purple rain, purple rain. Purple rain, purple rain." My pocket squid came down and started lifting me towards the sky. I spun slowly as the downpour continued and wailed into my microphone. "If you know what I'm singing about up here, c'mon, raise your paw! Purple rain, purple rain!"

 

"I'm going home." Ajna dropped her glowing orb and started to walk away, but we couldn't have cared less. The batflies and the lizards and pocket squid and me were absolutely drenched by this point and the speakers cackled and sparked because they were definitely not waterproof. It wasn't long at all before they were on fire and the whole stage was going up in flames. Beautiful, beautiful purple flames. The batflies were cooked alive and the lizards scurried back to their den. Pocket squid and I were all that remained. The flood would claim our lives eventually, but not before we finished the song.

 

"I only want to see you, only want to see you in the purple rain!"

 

Rain World Release Promo by del northern.

Edited July 6, 2023 by Cassylvania

[pelagia14]

56 minutes ago, Cassylvania said:

You know, I had this whole thing planned out. I was going to spend the entire month narrating my adventure in musical format, highlighting all the ups and downs as I struggled through what is designed to be a very challenging game. There's just one teensy problem.

 

Platinum #390 - Rain World

 

They whispered to me, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am the storm."

 

Wait, we almost got an entire month of musical "episodes"?! Awww... Though congrats on getting the platinum so quickly!

 

56 minutes ago, Cassylvania said:

Why does this matter? Well, because you're now in the awkward position of trying to find food in a world where so is everybody else. This may be the first time I've ever seen a proper ecosystem built into a game. If the string of genres wasn't already long enough, I would say this could almost be called a simulator because of it. Every creature in this world reacts to the presence of other creatures and the environment.

 

Goddammit, you make me want to play this game now. Except I'm terrible at games that require good reflexes with a steep learning curve and punishing difficulty. ? 

 

56 minutes ago, Cassylvania said:

But when I haven't even gotten to the graphics and the music and the atmosphere, which are all top notch, you know I've stumbled into something special. This game is absolutely terrifying at times and I love it. I would have really liked to capture the EMOTIONS I was going through with my narration. The problem was, I burned through it so quickly that I was writing sections that I had finished hours and days ago. Believe me, though, when I say it does start out with panic as every new creature and area you come across will fill you with dread. I did run from one screen to the other, watching bigger and bigger monsters appear and tear each other apart. But...eventually, you adapt. You grow and you learn. You accept your role in this world and you find a way to survive. I know now that I am a lover, not a fighter, and that's OK.

 

Asdfkldsjlfada. Maybe I will give this game a try once I've gotten my backlog down to just double digits, and play it knowing there's a chance I won't get the platinum. You've just made the game sound too interesting while simultaneously admitting there are other fantastic aspects you haven't even touched on!

[grayhammmer]

Cassy, I know you just platinumed this, but I need to tell you something important:

 

 

There's DLC that was released on Steam a while ago... and it's coming to Playstation in 5 days.

Edited July 7, 2023 by grayhammmer

[realm722]

8 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

It's July 6th. The year is just over halfway. I know it's a little too early to be talking about GOTY candidates, but I think we have a solid contender here. I have beefs with this game, guys. The wall jump is clunky. The karma system is not my cup of tea. But when I haven't even gotten to the graphics and the music and the atmosphere, which are all top notch, you know I've stumbled into something special. This game is absolutely terrifying at times and I love it. I would have really liked to capture the EMOTIONS I was going through with my narration. The problem was, I burned through it so quickly that I was writing sections that I had finished hours and days ago. Believe me, though, when I say it does start out with panic as every new creature and area you come across will fill you with dread. I did run from one screen to the other, watching bigger and bigger monsters appear and tear each other apart. But...eventually, you adapt. You grow and you learn. You accept your role in this world and you find a way to survive. I know now that I am a lover, not a fighter, and that's OK.

 

My goodness... I really did not expect you to rate it so highly! This is probably one of the most impressive platinums in your entire repertoire. I mean bloody hell, you finished in the Top 20 fastest achievers! Huge respect. I'm almost tempted to give it some run as the way you described the "ecosystem" and how each new creature had you in a frenzy sounds like an experience few other games can offer. I think this is a BIG win for the wheel and that subscription Cass!

 

25 minutes ago, grayhammmer said:

 

There's DLC that was released on Steam a while ago... and it's coming to Playstation in 5 days.

 

This is one of the biggest jumpscares I've experienced after reading that lengthy victorious string of text. Cassy just fell to their knees outside of an aquarium. 

[Briste]

29 minutes ago, grayhammmer said:

Cassy, I know you just platinumed this, but I need to tell you something important:

 

 

There's DLC that was released on Steam a while ago... and it's coming to Playstation in 5 days.

Just had one of the old 'spit out my drink and I wasn't even drinking anything' moment. Cass's worst nightmare come to life lol I wonder how Anja feels about all this...

[Cassylvania]

... (Dammit, why did I make myself the cheery one in this story?)

 

9 hours ago, Briste said:

Just had one of the old 'spit out my drink and I wasn't even drinking anything' moment. Cass's worst nightmare come to life lol I wonder how Anja feels about all this...

 

Let's find out!

 

The white sands of Kame Island looked warm and inviting. There was a single crab that dotted the beach. Ajna smiled at the ocean that didn't threaten to murder anyone. This is where she would at last have her peace. She could almost feel the cool breeze whipping through her hair, and then... the whole scene was covered up by a slimy paw! I swiped the "Wish you were here, suckers" postcard that RNGeta had sent us and ripped it to shreds right in front of Ajna.

 

"We get to stay in Rain World!" I said gleefully, throwing the torn fragments of her shattered dreams back in her face like confetti. "Isn't that great!?"

 

She was practically crying tears of joy. I could tell this was really an emotional moment for her. That's why I put an arm around her and started singing again.

 

"Let's go back, back to the beginning. Back to where the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned." I lifted up her chin, which had become as drooped as her soul. "'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect. Trying to fit a square into a circle was no life. I DEFYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

 

"Why do you ruin everything?"

 

"LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN AND WAKE MY DREAMS! LET IT WASH AWAY MY SANITY! 'CAUSE I WANT TO FEEL THE THUNDER, I WANNA SCREAM! LET THE RAIN FALL DOWN! I'M COMING CLEAN, I'M COMING CLEAN, OHHH!"

 

Ajna slumped down on the ground and tucked her knees into her chest while I swung around and around on a skinny tree like a cheap stripper.

 

"I'm shedding, shedding every color!" I wasn't, but I threw clumps of my fur into the air anyway. "Trying to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin, ohhh!" The clumps landed unceremoniously on Ajna's head. "'Cause different doesn't feel so different. And going out is better than always staying in! Feel the wind!"

 

"I hope they're glitched and you can never get 100%."

 

But I couldn't hear Ajna over the sound of the rain, which hadn't stopped since we arrived.

Edited July 7, 2023 by Cassylvania

[pelagia14]

Rain World was like, "Oh, you finished your monthly Wheel of Justification game in under a week? Let us fix that for you." ?

[Cassylvania]

On 7/7/2023 at 10:28 AM, pelagia14 said:

Rain World was like, "Oh, you finished your monthly Wheel of Justification game in under a week? Let us fix that for you."

 

Or perhaps there is something more sinister happening in the wings. *waves arms around mysteriously, signifying a flashback*

 

DATE: July 6, 2023

TIME: 10:14 AM

PLACE: PlayStation HQ in Seattle, where it rains all the time

 

CEO Ernest M. Bluefinger was seated in his executive office chair in the highest suite of Poostation Towers, counting his stacks of money for the third time this morning. He chuckled as he thought about all the money the new PS+ subscriptions had brought in. Stroking his whiskers, he pressed the big red button on his desk that was marked "Diet Coke" and waited for his servants to carry out his order. His tail and impish ears flickered in anticipation.

 

He didn't have to wait long. His two favorite minions -- a tall girl with black hair named Mai and a short, stubby canine named Dog For Some Reason -- entered the room without knocking. They had to step past the piranha tank to reach their boss' desk. The fish were nibbling on their most recent victim: a plucky journalist who had written a scathing article about predatory microtransactions in video games. Both Mai and Dog For Some Reason were careful to take the long way around the tank.

 

Their boss was the fattest of all felines. He had whiskers that curled into a handlebar mustache, legs that didn't quite reach the floor even though his belly rolls almost did, and a bad combover. Despite his name, Bluefinger's entire body was coated in gray fur, but he wore a tourmaline ring on his left middle finger that was a dazzling shade of blue. He had only to show this ring and all those around him would know the power he wielded, if it wasn't already obvious by his girth and his Hugh Hefner robe that he wore even when it wasn't casual Friday at the office.

 

"Y-your Coke, sir," Mai said, placing an entire six-pack on the desk. It was dwarfed by the enormous stack of counted bills.

 

The CEO took a puff out of his cigar, which had been fashioned out of a $100 bill. "Purrfect. Open one for me." While he waited, he turned his attention to Dog For Some Reason. "I assume everything is going well with our current members? Are they still forgetting to cancel their 'free' trials so that we can charge them full price for a subscription?"

 

"Yes, sir! Well, except for--" Dog For Some Reason stopped talking when Mai elbowed him in the gut. She quickly tried to hand their boss the can of soda, but he waved her away.

 

"Except for WHAT?" He didn't sound angry, but that didn't stop them from panicking.

 

"W-well, sir..." the canine continued. "There's this one member... a, uh, marine biologist from Pennsylvania... He's, uh..."

 

"Spit it out already!" OK, now Bluefinger was angry. Benjamin Franklin had to gasp for air.

 

Mai quickly jumped in to rescue her partner. "He's actively playing the games on the service, sir! He paid for an annual subscription. In six weeks, he's finished two games -- Dragon Ball: Kakarot and Rain World -- as well as several lesser known indie titles."

 

"WHAT!?" Bluefinger knocked over the entire stack of money with one mighty swing of his paw. "Kakarot is a needlessly long game with little to offer outside of a rabid fanbase and Rain World is a punishingly difficult game with a steep learning curve! Either one of those is designed to take several months just to beat -- far longer and more expensive than it would have been to buy the games individually!" He spun around in his chair, which took about half a minute due to his enormous size, and stared at the rain clouds over the city. The second half of that minute was spent in silence before he at last spoke again. "This... 'marine biologist' from Pennsylvania... He's good at video games?"

 

"Moderately, sir."

 

"Maybe like a...4 out of 10?" Dog For Some Reason suggested. He looked at Mai and she just shrugged. "He, uh... just has a lot of time on his hands."

 

"How much TIME are we talking?" the CEO hissed.

 

"He's played Genshin Impact for 1100 hours."

 

The bad combover shot straight up in the air. Bluefinger started flailing his arms about and hit the first thing he could, which just happened to be the emergency "Diet Coke" button. The top drawer of his desk popped open and a single can rolled out.

 

"GENSHIN PLAYERS DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A LIFE!" Bluefinger roared. His minions were biting their nails and slowly trying to back away, but those piranhas had just finished their meal and were still looking very hungry. "Next you're going to tell me that he's a completionist and actually tries to 100% every game."

 

Dead silence.

 

"Are you telling me he IS a completionist?"

 

"It seems that way, sir..."

 

Suddenly, Bluefinger turned back around and looked much calmer than before. He licked his paw and pushed his hair down while casually picking up the open can of soda. "Purrfect. I know just how to do with pesky little gamers who actually want to get their money's worth for a game. Release the DLC for Rain World."

 

"B-but, sir, it's not ready," Dog For Some Reason said before Mai could elbow him in the gut again.

 

"I KNOW it's not ready, idiot! It'll be buggy and glitchy and probably SUPER hard before we patch it. Plus, he'll have to pay ACTUAL MONEY for it, on top of the money he already spent on the service!"

"That's genius, sir," Mai said, nodding her head excitedly. She motioned for Dog For Some Reason to do the same. "You really are a criminal mastermind!"

 

"By the time this 'marine biologist' finishes the game, the subscription period will be over and we'll be swiping his credit card again. I can almost smell the money now." He took a big whiff of the smoke from his cigar and laughed manically. As did his minions. As did the piranhas. It was just an ordinary day at PlayStation HQ.

Edited August 4, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Taruta13]

20 hours ago, grayhammmer said:

Cassy, I know you just platinumed this, but I need to tell you something important:

 

 

There's DLC that was released on Steam a while ago... and it's coming to Playstation in 5 days.

10 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

The white sands of Kame Island looked warm and inviting. There was a single crab that dotted the beach. Ajna smiled at the ocean that didn't threaten to murder anyone. This is where she would at last have her peace. She could almost feel the cool breeze whipping through her hair, and then... the whole scene was covered up by a slimy paw! I swiped the "Wish you were here, suckers" postcard that RNGeta had sent us and ripped it to shreds right in front of Ajna.

 

"We get to stay in Rain World!" I said gleefully, throwing the torn fragments of her shattered dreams back in her face like confetti. "Isn't that great!?"

 

Wow, that's... hilarious. Just when I thought I was going to have to roll on my Wheel of Names again...

 

Speaking of DLC, did anyone see the last Nintendo Direct and the Pokemon Scarlet/Violet DLC trailers? MY MAIN GROUND-TYPES ARE BACK, LONG LIVE GLISCOR AND FLYGON!

 

Yeah... I... just started replaying Dragon Quest XI S and got wrapped up in Unova.

 

Really enjoyed the little side story you made. It's hilarious. Also, I am going to pray that you get through the DLC.

Edited July 7, 2023 by Taruta13

[Mori]

Congratz on that very quick plat! I guess you won't need any tips from me anymore.

 

I am glad you were able to enjoy my recommendation as much as you did and I guess your mental health is in pristine condition? :') I still plan to do Rain World this month as well, your posts got me even more excited and also gave a look into what Rain World is actually about.

I knew about 'Downpour' but expected it to be a standalone title, sorry if that causes you some inconvenience.

[Taruta13]

On 7/9/2023 at 5:54 AM, Mori said:

I knew about 'Downpour' but expected it to be a standalone title, sorry if that causes you some inconvenience.

 

Don't worry about it. Cass's sort of a completionist. Me, on the other hand....

 

Tataru: "You're not going to fight Yozora?"

 

Absolutely not. Have you seen how he steals your Kupo Coin and uses it when you kill him to get back ten life bars and then goes super-aggro?!? You can't cheese him like you can Lingering Will.

 

Tataru: "So you're going to start on Kingdom Hearts II Final Mix?"

 

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

Tataru: *sigh* "Thal's beard, why did I join up with this coward? At least the Warrior of Light was willing to fight Endsinger..."  ?

 

Sorry, I got a horse race to attend in Gallopolis. Let me just farm enemies some more to get that trophy for 1000 monsters killed.

Edited July 10, 2023 by Taruta13

[Cassylvania]

On 7/9/2023 at 6:54 AM, Mori said:

Congratz on that very quick plat! I guess you won't need any tips from me anymore.

 

Let me know if you need any. I feel I developed a few strategies that worked pretty well.

 

Anyway, while we're waiting for the inevitable Downpour, I decided to play another game that features an adorable creature trying to stay alive in a harsh environment. (I guess that's our theme this year.) This one was free this month!

 

Platinum #391 - Endling

 

Endling: EXTINCTION IS FOREVER (subtitle in all caps because subtly is not this game's strong suit) is a game about why humans suck a mama fox trying to keep her cubs alive. But is this a title worth sticking around until the ending or should this game just go extinct?

 

I read an article about this month's free PS+ games. It listed the Alan Wake remaster, some Call of Duty game that I assume everybody in the world but me has played, and something called Endling that had four foxes prancing along a fallen log with the moon in the background like something from Hakuna Matata. (Don't worry. I'm not going to sing.) It's obvious which one appealed to me instantly. What really excited me is that the article teased one of them as being a 10/10 game and I was SURE it was referring to one of the other two. But I read further and they said it was the fox game that was an indie masterpiece. Well, I tucked the Alan Wake game away in my library for safekeeping, completely ignored the CoD game, and started my journey as a fox. Within a few hours (over the course of the weekend), it was over. And... I have some things to say.

 

First, I love the graphics. The music is good too, but it's the art style that stands out. They had to make the foxes expressive because, as the internet has been telling us for years, foxes don't say anything. Their faces and body language do the talking. It's pretty adorable to watch. But even outside of the scripted cutscenes, it's neat to see your little cubs bouncing along behind you. I'm also partial to games that take place in a forest or have snow. This has both. But, of course, because there are humans around, there have to be factories and machinery and toxic wastelands too. That's because this game is trying to send a message to its players around the dangers of overexploitation.

 

So, what do you do in this game? Explore the surrounding area and eat all the food you can find. That might sound like overexploitation, but it's totally different because foxes don't know any better. You begin the game with four cubs, but (spoiler?), one of them gets cubnapped. Part of your journey is finding the missing cub. The rest is keeping your cubs alive. It really just comes down to finding food. They all share the same hunger meter and there are no other parameters to keep an eye on (e.g. thirst, sleep, temperature, etc.). I still think this is best classified as a survival game, but it's very light in that department. You don't even have a health meter. You can technically die, but it's a one hit KO that comes from failing a button prompt or walking into a hunter's line of sight. If you do die, you just get to try again from the start of that "day" (night).

 

The game takes place over the course of 30 nights. Each night only lasts a few minutes. When I started playing, I assumed bad things happen when the night ends, but I don't think it matters how long you stay outside. I think you're just more likely to run into traps if you're still outside after dawn? Anyway, that means you can play the game at your own speed, as the game won't advance until you return to your lair. That's also the only time it autosaves.

 

One thing the game does a good job at is in progression. You begin with very limited abilities and only a small portion of the map available to you. Your cubs don't even follow you around until you're a few nights in. Once they do, they'll kinda help you out. They can each learn unique abilities, but they're limited, which is fine. Just to give you some examples, one of the cubs learns the ability to hunt, so you can have him chase down mice and rabbits so you don't have to. Another cub will learn to climb trees so you can have him fetch bird eggs. You gotta protect them, though, because the game WILL continue if one of your cubs dies. You need them all alive by the end of the game for a trophy, so...you don't want that.

 

Various events take place on certain nights. There are a lot of missable trophies because of this. I ended up getting all the trophies on my first playthrough, EXCEPT for the one for feeding my cubs every food item in the game. I don't know what I missed. There's a deer carcass that's only available for the first few days, so it was probably that one. Other food items only appear on certain days too.

 

I don't know if it's possible to screw yourself over by eating too much food and not having enough food for the next day. From what I could tell, it seems every night has at least a few additional food spawns, so I think you'll be fine. I don't think I ever ran the risk of running out of food unless I was purposely staying out super long because I was trophy hunting. Even when that did happen, I'd just get the trophy and then quit out and start the night over.

 

I don't think there's much more to say. There's a story here, but it's told through brief cutscenes and "scents" you pick up to track down your missing cub. There isn't a single line of spoken dialogue, but you're smart enough to piece together what's happening. There are also a few emotional moments. I'd like to give you my deep and philosophical opinion on the game's ending, but this will require a spoiler tag.

 

Spoiler

Fuck the ending.

 

As someone who is an animal lover and a tree hugger, I'm obviously going to recommend this game. Even if you don't have a PS+ subscription, it's worth a few dollars and an evening of your time. But I think it's important to realize this is not a happy game. It's not even a hopeful game. There is no "Unless," like in The Lorax. If these writers had written that story, the Lorax would have died on his way back to his home planet and there would be a sworn affidavit that he would never return. These writers want you to be disgusted with humanity, which is honestly not something I need help with most days, and I'm not convinced that's the best way to get the message across.

 

Now I'm going to go play a happier game. Like Heavy Rain.

Edited July 11, 2023 by Cassylvania

[YaManSmevz]

 

3 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Platinum #391 - Endling

 

In typical Cassylvania fashion, your excellent write-up has convinced me that I'm missing out. I am sold. How dare you.

[HelixNebula_x]

I have to concur with the spoiler tag and would also like to add my two cents:

 

Spoiler

Fuck the fake out ending that comes before it. Made me think there was hope before the actual ending. Also, fuck the ending.

 

[pelagia14]

 

15 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

As someone who is an animal lover and a tree hugger, I'm obviously going to recommend this game. Even if you don't have a PS+ subscription, it's worth a few dollars and an evening of your time. But I think it's important to realize this is not a happy game. It's not even a hopeful game. There is no "Unless," like in The Lorax.

 

I've been thinking of playing this game (especially since it's almost as if Sony knew that here at PSNP we currently have Gaming for the Animals 2: The Squeakquel). My main hesitation has been that, based on the game's title and art style, it seems like the story is "Haha look at this adorable fox family, aren't you in love with them? Except humans are terrible in the game, and you are a human, so we are going to emotionally devastate you with a super-depressing ending because extinction is forever". 

 

I really appreciate knowing that this is going to be an animal game that does not have a happy or hopeful ending. I'll play it on a day when I know that won't completely crush me, haha.

 

15 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

These writers want you to be disgusted with humanity, which is honestly not something I need help with most days, and I'm not convinced that's the best way to get the message across.

 

Yo saaaaaaaame. And without having even played the game, it seems like the goal is to make people feel bad about extinction. Except, most of the people who will play the game probably already feel that extinction is a terrible thing they can't do much about, so the game might enlighten a few new minds but will just leave most players feeling awful. Which a lot of us already feel in regard to conservation efforts.

 

In my opinion, a more useful message would be to show at the end how a small act by one human can make a positive difference (big or small) for the fox family. This would serve as a microcosmic example of what animal conservation works towards, and a more uplifting ending would help inspire/motivate people to do something to further animal conservation after playing the game.

 

15 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Now I'm going to go play a happier game. Like Heavy Rain.

 

Ooof. Then again, a good "JASON!!!" clip or meme or a "Fail Every QTE in the Chase Scene" video will always make me laugh. 

[Taruta13]

Tataru just got ambushed by another Golden Globe while I was farming Liquid Metal Slimes. My sidekick is just as hangry as yours whenever I decide to focus on something, Cass.

 

For the record, Golden Globes are rare gold cactiballs in the Gallopolis desert that LOVE to spam Death Dance. Thanks to them, Serena is behind everyone else in levels.

 

(And if you want to know how to farm Liquid Metal Slimes, it's just using two pep powers - one to get a big bonus on your EXP rewards and one to turn enemies into metal monsters. They might be hunter mechs but so far I have not failed a single Electro Light.)

 

Sorry, I just got inspired to write up skits like yours since you started narrating this journey. It reminds me of the time I enjoyed reading your conspiracy theories about Phil when we were both trying to platinum Fill-A-Pix. (I had a different account then.)

[Cassylvania]

I'm WAITING, Rain World. Where's this so-called update?

 

Oh, well. Let's answer some fan mail while we wait.

 

On 7/10/2023 at 1:49 AM, YaManSmevz said:

In typical Cassylvania fashion, your excellent write-up has convinced me that I'm missing out. I am sold. How dare you.

 

I'm a terrible person. I'll be sure to add EXTRA hate to my next review to keep anybody from playing it!

 

On 7/10/2023 at 8:16 AM, HelixNebula_x said:

I have to concur with the spoiler tag and would also like to add my two cents:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Fuck the fake out ending that comes before it. Made me think there was hope before the actual ending. Also, fuck the ending.

 

 

Yes. Absolutely. I should've ended my review by saying these writers would have the Lorax die on his way back to his home planet, have a sworn affidavit that he'd never return, and THEN they'd kick his urn down the stairs and pee on his ashes. The whole "We hope you enjoyed!" message after that was hilariously insulting.

 

On 7/10/2023 at 2:06 PM, pelagia14 said:

In my opinion, a more useful message would be to show at the end how a small act by one human can make a positive difference (big or small) for the fox family. This would serve as a microcosmic example of what animal conservation works towards, and a more uplifting ending would help inspire/motivate people to do something to further animal conservation after playing the game.

 

In the game's defense (and one of the reasons I'd still recommend it), they do try this. There are several examples throughout the game that make you think there is some good in the world.

 

18 hours ago, Taruta13 said:

Sorry, I just got inspired to write up skits like yours since you started narrating this journey. It reminds me of the time I enjoyed reading your conspiracy theories about Phil when we were both trying to platinum Fill-A-Pix. (I had a different account then.)

 

Is it really a "conspiracy" if it's true? We all know somebody had to pay for Phil's globetrotting adventures. He's still probably on the run today...

 

I think that's it for the fan mail! Tune in next time for...

 

"Did somebody say 'mail'?"

 

Ajna and I looked behind us. We had been walking on the same dirt road for a while now. Wasn't hard to notice the white van following us, but this was the first time it pulled up next to us and came to a stop. A woman of medium build wearing a blue jacket and blue pants stopped the truck in the middle of the road and climbed out. She had a mail bag thrown over her shoulder and I couldn't help but notice half of the letters inside were already torn open. Based on her nametag, I assumed her name was Meredith. I had a feeling I had seen her somewhere before.

 

"I have a package for an 'ugly ass slug and a foul-mouthed girl with a stick up her butt' -- I assume that's you two! Even though you seem to be missing the 'stick.'" She began shuffling through her bag. "Let's see here... oh, yes! This postcard came with it. It's from someone name RNG...eta' That name can't be real." Ajna tried reaching for it, but Meredith had already turned it over and started reading it out loud. "It says, 'Wish you were here', but 'here' has been crossed out and replaced with 'DEAD!!!1' -- in all caps and with three exclamation points and the number '1' after it -- and there's a picture below of a very muscular and very nude dude on a beach. Wow, he's kinda cute. I, uh...better hang on to this for you." She tucked the postcard in her front jacket pocket.

 

"...And our package?" I asked. I didn't care about seeing the postcard.

 

"Here you go! A dozen cookies in the shape of a skull."

 

Ajna peered into the empty cardboard box.

 

"They were coconut-flavored."

 

"You're the worst delivery person ever."

 

Meredith smiled and gave a two-finger salute. "I hope you two have a MERRY day! Get it? 'Merry'? Because my name is Meredith." She laughed at her own joke and looked up the sky. "Might rain soon. You sure you don't want a ride?"

 

"Isn't it against union rules to pick up hitchhikers?" I asked.

 

Meredith climbed behind the wheel of her mail truck and cracked open a beer. "Nope."

 

"Works for me. Aj?"

 

I could tell Ajna didn't like the idea of getting the truck with this strange lady, but we could only cover so much ground on foot. Having some wheels under us would be a nice change of pace. So, begrudgingly, Ajna climbed into the passenger seat next to Meredith and I rode on her shoulder. Meredith didn't even wait until her seatbelt was on before slamming on the gas pedal. Fortunately, the mail truck seemed to cap out at 10 MPH.

 

"...We could walk faster than this," Ajna muttered.

 

"So, what brings you two to Rain World?" Meredith asked, sipping her beer. She only seemed to need one hand on the wheel. "It's not often you see a catslug and an Indian girl on the side of the road. Almost seems like the setup for a joke."

 

Neither Ajna nor I decided to correct her. In fact, I still wasn't sure what ethnicity Ajna was supposed to be... I guess we had been friends for so long that it would be too awkward to ask her now.

 

"We were sent here to get a platinum trophy," Ajna said. "By that guy in the postcard."

 

"A platinum trophy? Boy, howdy -- you didn't have to come all the way to Rain World for that! They practically give those away for free now. In fact, I just got a whole shipment to deliver from some place called Stranded Deep." She pointed to the back of the mail truck, where literally thousands of trophy-shaped packages were stuffed into mailbags. "You want one?"

 

"...We already have one," Ajna said quietly.

 

"Suit yourself! Just saying. Nobody comes to Rain World without a reason." She took another sip of beer. "This guy of yours... The one who sent you here. Is he your boyfriend?"

 

"No!"

 

"What about him?" she said, jerking a thumb at me. I had done my best to avoid 'girl talk' up until this point. "This slug thing your boyfriend or a pet?"

 

"He's a slugcat and he's my friend. Just...not my boyfriend." Ajna seemed a little more annoyed than usual, which was really saying a lot. "I'd also appreciate if you kept your eyes on the road while you're driving. You almost hit that car-sized vulture."

 

"Yeah, my aim was a little off... I'll get the next one!" We couldn't tell if she was joking or not. "So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how single is that guy on the beach?"

 

"How... what?" Ajna shook her head. "Look. We had some people choose some games for us to play, we put them on a wheel, and each month we spin the wheel to see what game we have to play. The game this month was Rain World. That's why we're here. RNGeta is just some...elaborate personification of chance. I don't understand how or why he exists."

 

"But he is single?"

 

"...Yes, Meredith. He's single." Ajna looked at me and mouthed the word, "Crazy." I don't think she cared that Meredith was looking right at her and could definitely read her lips. "In fact, I hear he really loves desperate, middle-aged mail carriers."

 

"I'm actually a computer programmer! I just do this mail thing on the side."

 

"We don't really need your whole life story, Meredith."

 

That didn't stop Meredith from telling us. At the very least, Ajna seemed to be glad we were safe from the rain. For now. I looked at the darkening sky and wondered how long our luck would hold out...

Edited July 12, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Taruta13]

They just dropped the trophy list for Rain World on the site. I don't understand what you have to do because it's one of THOSE games, the ones who just give vague wording for the trophies.

 

Anyways, I just watched the World Tree get destroyed and Erdrea get the same treatement as FFVI's Kefkacition. Oh, and I was a fish briefly.

 

I know you've platted DQXI, Cass, but DQXIS has you visiting old Dragon Quest games in Tockington. I just got 10 pastwords and had a grand time.

 

Spoiler

Fuck Square-Enix for not releasing DQX Offline to the West. I understand they don't want DQX to be like FFXIV but at least let us experience the story of DQX offline in the West. That might explain why the Altar of the Undeciphered(DQX world) has only two pastwords while everyone else has three. ?

 

Good luck on Downpour, Cass, and I can't wait to see what you roll up next. I'm halfway through DQXIS so I might be rolling up my third soon.

[Cassylvania]

DATE: July 12, 2023

TIME: 08:05 AM

PLACE: PlayStation HQ in Seattle, where it's still raining

 

Bluefinger was stacking tiny ceramic giraffes on his desk when Mai and Dog For Some Reason entered. They nervously approached his desk. Neither one seemed to want to do the taking first.

 

"What IS IT?" the feline CEO asked. "I'm QUITE busy here."

 

Dog For Some Reason gulped. "S-sir, it's about the Rain World DLC... It, uh..."

 

"TODAY, IDIOT."

 

"It released with a bug that DELETES THE USER'S ENTIRE SAVE FILE," Mai said. She shielded her face from the oncoming wrath of her boss.

 

Instead, Bluefinger erupted into laughter. He repeatedly pounded the table with his paw and his collection of giraffes toppled over.

 

"You mean gamers are now paying us to REMOVE their progress? This is too PURRFECT. I wish I could see their faces when they realize they've lost everything. In fact..." He reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a giant food dish, which he tossed to his minions. They scrambled to catch it. "I want you to collect their tears in this so I can lap them up."

 

"Y-yes, sir!" they both said.

 

"Start with that 'marine biologist'. I want him to be an example for anybody who DARES to justify a PS+ subscription." Bluefinger leaned back in his chair and interlaced his stubby little fingers. "These gamers need to learn that they will give us all their money and then thank us for taking it."

Edited August 4, 2023 by Cassylvania

[Mori]

Is progress in the main game required to play Downpour? And do you still have the saves in cloud or did it wipe them as well?

 

I just read the thread in the game's subforum.. guess its good you were already done and I haven't started it before the DLC dropped.

And.. I know it comes off as ridiculous because I said it last month as well, but now there is a PS5 stack.. and I'm a cheapskate, paying for DLC on top of it pains me.

 

I swear, next month I shut my mouth, regardless of which game comes up next.

Edited July 12, 2023 by Mori

[Cassylvania]

8 hours ago, Mori said:

Is progress in the main game required to play Downpour? And do you still have the saves in cloud or did it wipe them as well?

 

I just read the thread in the game's subforum.. guess its good you were already done and I haven't started it before the DLC dropped.

And.. I know it comes off as ridiculous because I said it last month as well, but now there is a PS5 stack.. and I'm a cheapskate, paying for DLC on top of it pains me.

 

I swear, next month I shut my mouth, regardless of which game comes up next.

 

Think I got lucky.  I didn't lose my save when it updated. (Which, by the way, it did automatically.) But, of course, I had to pay ACTUAL MONEY for it, so now I add that amount to the total price of the annual PS+ subscription... Better be worth it.

 

Man, there's some weird stuff going on with that purple text. Not sure what that's all about.

 

DATE: July 12, 2023

TIME: 09:36 PM

PLACE: A big house in southern Philadelphia (the good part of town)

 

"And then all the foxes DIED. The end." Ethan Mars leaned over and kissed a crying Jason and a bawling Shaun on the forehead. "Good night. I love you both very much."

 

Ethan's wife was standing in the doorway, arms folded.

 

"I wish you wouldn't read them that bedtime story," she said. "It's depressing."

 

"It's my favorite book!" Ethan pushed past her, clutching the book tight to his chest so that she couldn't take it away. "Maybe if you were a cool parent like me, the kids would ask you to tuck them in."

 

"Ethan, we need to talk." She followed him down the stairs. "Ethan. Are you listening to me?"

 

"I'm not giving you the book!"

 

"It's not about the book, Ethan. It's about our marriage."

 

Ethan quickly maneuvered into the kitchen and began banging pots and pans around. Didn't seem to matter to him that he had nothing to cook and his wife had just spent the past thirty minutes cleaning them.

 

"Ethan!"

 

"Can't hear you!"

 

Ethan's wife sighed and flopped down on the couch. It had been like this for over a decade now. Ethan was a normal person once. An architect with a big pen and an even bigger dream. He even managed to marry a girl out of his league, as his mother-in-law would regularly tell him. What happened? Did the years of constant bullying get to him? Did he see himself in his children -- in Jason, in Shaun? Was this a middle-age crisis that had been going on since his early 20's or just a cry for help? Ethan's wife had struggled for years in therapy to find an answer for his childlike behavior. Unfortunately, the diagnosis was always the same: Ethan was a guy. There was no cure for that.

 

"I could've married our high school quarterback," Ethan's wife said out loud. It wasn't the first time she had said this, but she doubted Ethan could hear him over the stainless steel colander he had on his head.

 

Ethan's wife combed back a strand of hair that had fallen over her eye. She crossed her legs and waited -- waited until Ethan got tired of acting ridiculous and took a seat next to her. When he did, she pulled the colander from his head and placed it on the end table.

 

"I love you," was the first thing he said.

 

"We really do need to talk."

 

He tried grabbing the colander, but she seized his hand first.

 

"I'm not mad at you. I just want to know what's going on."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"You're not...normal, Ethan. Normal adults don't wear kitchen utensils on their head when their spouse is trying to talk to them."

 

"It was a spaceship helmet."

 

"It's what I cooked dinner in, Ethan. It's weird. And the neighbors are starting to talk." She moved closer to him. "Ethan, I love you. I want us to be together. I just don't know how we can do that when I feel like I'm sharing a household with three little boys."

 

"You make it sound like I don't take our marriage seriously..."

 

"No, Ethan. I think you take it TOO seriously. You take everything too seriously. Like yesterday, you and Jason were playing Cops & Robbers in the backyard. You were a cop and you put Jason in handcuffs and threw him in the dog cage and then made him call a lawyer to get out."

 

"He was a ROBBER! I was just protecting our house. I'd do anything for my family."

 

"He's your SON, Ethan. You can't lock your son in a dog cage. I feel I shouldn't have to tell you that."

 

Ethan sighed and put a hand across his wife's cheek. She moved his hand further up her back.

 

"You're right," he said. "Now, what do you say we play our own version of Cops & Robbers? I still got the handcuffs..."

 

"The handcuffs you put on our son?"

 

"I've been a naughty boy."

 

Ethan's wife turned up her nose in disgust. "I'm going to bed, Ethan. You can sleep on the couch tonight."

 

Ethan hated to see her go, but he sure loved to watch her leave. Her butt jiggled all the way up the stairs. Ethan sighed again, slipped out of his shoes, and put his feet up on the couch. He had gotten rather accustomed to sleeping in this part of the house. He put the TV on -- any channel would do -- and closed his eyes so he could listen to the sweet, sweet sound of static.