Cassylvania's Miserable Little Pile of Platinums

Rally-Vincent--- · August 17, 2023

1 hour ago, Cassylvania said:

I don't always have the time to read every other thread on here, but I do think the trophy checklists are by far the best sub-forum we have on here. I think it's one of the only sub-forums I see where people aren't at each other's throats or getting grilled for voicing their opinions, which is pretty bizarre when you consider that's the main thing we're doing here.

That's because the checklist section is way more about the games than trophies. At least, this is my take on it. Most of the bullshit that comes with focussing on trophies instead of playing the game is secondary.

Cassylvania · August 17, 2023

TRIAL #3: ThE tRiAl Of ThE lIZaRd

Lizards. Why does it always have to be lizards?

"Only three of you are eligible for this next trial," Master Roshi told us over the phone, as we sat at our booth in McDonald's. Ethan, RNGeta, and Ajna looked at each other. I could tell they were nervous. "This will be the most difficult trial yet. To prove you are worthy of the third Dragon Ball, one of you must cut off your..." Instead, it was Master Roshi who was cut off, as the line went dead. I guess somebody forgot to pay their cell phone bill.

Or maybe reception on Kame Island wasn't very good.

"Yeah, I'm not doing this one," Ajna said.

Ethan frowned. "But you haven't even heard what the trial is..."

"I don't care. If it involves cutting something off, I'm out."

"If it's what I think it is, I'm out too!" RNGeta said, pounding the table. "Let Ethan do it. He doesn't need to bring any more kids into this world."

"That's really disgusting," Ajna said. "And mean."

"And true!"

"So true," Ethan said quietly, staring down at the floor. I felt bad for him. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose one son, let alone two. Then again, I also couldn't imagine what it would be like to be an asshole like RNGeta, so I didn't see much of a reason in trying to put myself in somebody else's shoes.

"Sorry about that," Master Roshi said, suddenly coming in loud and clear. "I had to answer another call, if you know what I mean."

"We don't," Ajna said.

"Anyway, as I was saying, one of you must cut off your... HAIR." Master Roshi began cackling again. I thought he was going to have an aneurysm.

Ajna's face went dark. "No."

"The third Dragon Ball will only answer one as bald as me!"

"Dammit, Master Roshi. We all know you're just making this stuff up as you go!"

"Not true! This is what is written in the sacred text!"

"Nobody is touching my hair!"

RNGeta reached a finger towards her.

"Touch me and you'll lose that finger."

"Stop whining," RNGeta told her. "Of the three of us, you're the one who has contributed least to the team."

"I SAVED US FROM BEING TURNED INTO STREET PIZZA ON I-95."

"I'm pretty sure that was the force," Meredith said.

"NO, Meredith. That was not 'the force.' That was you acting like an idiot and nearly getting us all killed! If I hadn't steered us out of the way, they'd be scraping our bodies off the pavement right now." She somehow glared at all of us at once, which was pretty impressive considering how spread out we were at the table. "You know, I'm tired of being the glue that holds this team together. The four of you are CONSTANTLY putting our lives in danger. I've never seen such a selfish group of individuals."

"Says the crybaby who won't cut off a little bit of her hair," RNGeta sneered. "Hey, old lady, give me your knife. I'll take care of this."

"I will kill you. You are the reason I had to suffer through Rain World. You are the reason we're here now. We could've ended up literally anywhere else but you and your stupid little dice brought us to this shithole of a city!"

"Stop blaming my dice for all your problems, woman!"

"I think we should get out of here," Meredith whispered to me. I nodded my head in agreement.

RNGeta grabbed the knife away from Meredith and chased Ajna across the restaurant. Tables and chairs went flying. RNGeta dove for Ajna and she leapt onto the front counter and began jumping off the cash registers as RNGeta took swings at her legs.

"I'm middle-aged and will probably lose my hair soon anyway," Ethan said. "Just like I lost my sons..."

But they couldn't hear him. Ajna kicked RNGeta in the jaw and then screamed as he grabbed her by the ankles and threw her down on the counter. He tried to pin her there, but she slipped through his grasp. They wrestled their way into the kitchen, where I watched Ajna grab RNGeta by the shoulders and throw him facefirst into the deep fryer. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

As she forced the knife away from him and a few McDonald's employees tried to break up the fight, we watched the health inspector walk into the restaurant, clipboard in hand, and began scribbling madly. It wasn't until they were able to pull RNGeta out of the deep fryer that we saw all of his ridiculous hair (and most of his skin) had been completely burnt away. It was now floating in sizzling tufts with the grease and the fries. The health inspector had to rush out to the car for another pad of paper.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" RNGeta screamed, flailing his arms about. He hit everybody except Ajna as he was temporarily blinded, but that was probably the least of his concerns.

Ajna came back to us and slammed the knife against the table. I could see the metal was still glowing red.

"That was awesome," I said.

"Should we, like...call an ambulance?" Ethan asked.

"He'll get over it."

"Can I, uh, assume the third trial has been completed?" Master Roshi asked.

"You could say that."

"Great! I'll mail the third Dragon Ball right aw...I mean, THE SPIRITS WILL BRING YOU THE THIRD DRAGON BALL ON THE MORROW!"

Ajna hung up the phone.

"...We really do need to something about your anger problem, Abner," Meredith said.

I was still scratching my head trying to figure out what any of this had to do with a lizard.

Edited August 17, 2023 by Cassylvania

Mori · August 18, 2023

I just came across the trailer for Shadow Gambit and had to think about you. I must say, this game looks really promising and I love that they just show gameplay, filled with lots of new stuff.

Spoiler

James_Tonto · August 18, 2023

On 8/13/2023 at 5:49 AM, Cassylvania said:

Did you expect a double platinum night? I didn't think so.

Platinum #394 - Risk of Rain 2

I forget. Did I review the first game? I think I did. I know it didn't have a platinum (and I beat it in like one day), so there's only like a 50/50 chance that I bothered writing a review, but I remember liking it. Actually, the only reason I played it is because I heard Risk of Rain 2 was really good and I felt I should probably play the original game first. So, did this one live up to the hype? Let's find out.

To begin, there's no reason to play the original before this, unless you're OCD about doing things in chronological order. As far as I could tell, they're completely separate games, despite having a lot in common (e.g. characters, items, overall objective, etc.). The main thing that sets them apart is that Risk of Rain is in 2D and Risk of Rain 2 is in 3D. I also think co-op is a bigger focus in the sequel, but you can do it solo too. More on that in a bit. I guess the neat thing in playing these games so close to each other is that you get to see how the basic concept of the first game can be translated into three-dimensions. So, we should probably talk about how the game plays.

Just like in the first game, you only have a few characters to choose from at the start, but you can unlock more by completing various objects, such as completing certain stages or beating the game. Every character has four skills that are mapped to the shoulder buttons. I believe R2 is considered your primary attack, while L2 is your secondary attack. L1 is typically a movement ability, but it depends on the character, and R1 seems to be a special skill. All of these except your primary attack have a cooldown. The reason I say it depends on the character is because I only ever played as the Huntress, Engineer, and MUL-T. I have no clue how the others play. But I'll explain the game as if you're playing as the Huntress, since she's the most basic of the bunch. If you press L2, she throws a glaive (whatever that is -- I call it a boomerang) that bounces between enemies. L1 causes her to dash forward, which is really great for escaping enemies, and R1 allows her to hover in the air for a moment and rain a volley of arrows down on a group of enemies. That's also surprisingly good for escaping enemies. But what I like most is her primary attack because all you have to do is HOLD down R2 and she'll fire an arrow at any nearby enemy. That was NOT the case for the Engineer, who requires pressing R2 every time you want to launch an attack. I'm lazy. I prefer auto-attacking. (That said, the Engineer can place turrets that attack for him, so it's not like I had to work up a sweat playing as him.)

Now, stats vary across characters too. The Huntress is naturally faster than other characters, but she also has low HP. When you die in this game, you're kicked back to the main menu. There is no in-game saving or save scumming. A typical run through the game will probably last about an hour. (Well, not really. It will be much shorter than that because you'll probably die.)

You see, this is another difficult game. @Briste and I... we meet up like once a week to play games. Usually Genshin. And we're pretty cocky. We've gotten to the point where we can beat the hardest content in the game so easily that we're actively trying to use the crappiest, most meme'd-on characters to give ourselves a little challenge. Well, we tried carrying that cockiness over to Risk of Rain 2. It didn't go well. Despite...I dunno, a couple dozens attempts over a few months, we NEVER beat this game in co-op. We came close a couple times. Even got to the final boss once. Briste died on me, of course, but I managed to get through the rest of the level without him. Took me about an hour. He just sat back and watched and cheered me on as I slowly whittled away at enemies. I was playing as the little robot MUL-T, so I'd sneak in a few hits and then run away and recover my HP before trying again. I was probably fighting the boss for like 30 minutes. I was in the zone. I was dodging every attack. It just took SO long. When his HP bar finally hit zero, I wanted to scream out in joy, and then my hopes were instantly dashed as the boss entered a second phase and absolutely wiped the floor with my ass. I put my controller down. I stared blankly at the game over screen for a few minutes while Briste tried to comfort me. I remember none of this. I was so empty inside that I just shut everything down and went to bed. I don't think I touched the game for another three months.

You see, the game gets harder over time. Like the original, you're constantly forced between farming for items in the level you're in or trying to advance through the game as quickly as possible. Items are EVERYTHING. The more items you have, the less important your skills become. Eventually, with enough items, it doesn't even matter what character you're playing as because everything starts dying in one hit. The problem is that it's still very easy to go from full HP to dead. There are just some attacks or situations that will end your run prematurely, no matter how powerful you feel.

I just kinda want to discuss some of the items in the game and how they're useful. Understand there are a lot more item than this, many are unavailable at first, and it is possible to stack items. In fact, you often WANT multiple copies of the same item. When playing as the Huntress, some of my favorite items were the Soldier's Syringe (increases attack speed), Lens-Maker's Glasses (increases chance to critical strike), and Tri-Tip Dagger (increases chance to bleed an enemy). There are also a lot of defensive items and items that make you move or sprint faster. I liked having at least 10-15 speed increases. It's probably the first thing you want to focus on in a run. The Hopoo Feather is also really nice because every one you have gives you an extra mid-air jump. That means, yes, you could just keep stacking these and spend the entire game in the air. Many of these items complement each other too. For example, Predatory Instincts, which is an uncommon item, increases your attack speed every time you land a critical strike. Obviously, that's really nice to pair with the glasses.

But how do you get these items? Well, it's mostly up to RNG. You have to open chests or pay money to altars and hope you get something you want. Occasionally, you'll come across a machine that will offer you the choice of three items. It will take you sometime to recognize what each item is, though. When you first start playing, you'll have no idea. And, of course, there are some items that have drawbacks. These risk vs. reward items are stuff like Shaped Glass, which increases your base damage by 100% (!), but cuts your health in half (WTF!?). Fortunately, these are typically only Lunar items, which you'll never accidentally pick up because they're only available in the special shop. Doesn't mean that every item is useful for every character, though.

Now, because the items you get during a run are RNG-based, every run is going to be feel somewhat unique -- at least, in the beginning. It's also random what level you're going to get. I think there are two possibilities for each stage, with five total stages per run. Honestly, I didn't care for the level variety. They're all basically a series of floating platforms in space, which was a bit disappointing. Naturally, I ended up liking the desert and snow area the most because they're the only ones NOT like that. Monster variety is a little better, but I think most monsters are restricted to specific stages.

The trophy guide says 15 hours to platinum. Excuse me while I blow the bullshit alarm. This game has 26k owners and only nine have the platinum in that time. I'm also going to blow the bullshit alarm on the difficulty, which is listed as a 3. If Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom was a 4, so is this. In FACT, if it wasn't for the thing I'm about to talk about it, this could end up being the hardest game I've played this year.

Welcome to the part of the review where I make your platinum journey much easier. Artifacts. You want these. Learn what they are and unlock them. The one you REALLY want is the Artifact of Command, which lets you choose the items you want. That applies to EVERY item you encounter in the game. No more RNG. The only thing that kinda sucks about this is that the game doesn't pause while you're making your selection, so it's possible to take damage or even die while you're scrolling through the menu. The key is knowing what item you want before you open the menu. The other artifacts you want to unlock are Sacrifice (enemies drop items on death, but chests are removed) and Swarms (enemy spawns are doubled). You can see how these would be overpowered. Yes, more enemies suck, but you're killing them faster and giving yourself more opportunities to stack any item you want. This honestly should have been the default setting for the game, if only because it actually makes the game fun. I did NOT enjoy this game all that much when I had to rely on RNG. It's not even really because of the difficulty. It's because the game only starts to be fun when you stack multiple copies of the same item, which just takes too long and isn't all that likely if you're just going for a normal run. Yes, you have the option to "loop" (warp back to the first stage), but now you're looking at a multi-hour run that, again, cannot be saved at any time. I hate that feature in any video game. I actually lost a run because I had to go to bed and putting my PS5 on Rest Mode didn't let me continue from where I left off. Not to mention we've had several storms in my area where, gee, I dunno, I'd rather not have my console on. I just don't see why it's so taboo to allow the player to save their progress. Are the Playstation police going to come after me if I try to save scum my way to victory in a single player game?

And yes, there is a trophy that requires looping multiple times, so I hope you don't have a power outage in the 2-3 hours that it could take you.

Anyway, I could gripe for hours. A lot of things annoyed me. But you know what the really annoying thing is? I enjoyed it. It beats you down, but there's definitely a "Just one more run" feel here. I actually almost wish there were more trophies. Would you believe there's no trophy for beating the game? I actually did beat the final boss on my own, but all it does is unlock a new character. I kinda wish there was a trophy for beating the game with each character, instead of the stupid ones, like chasing 20 hermit crabs off the stage. That was dumb in the original and it was dumb here.

I think this game was free on PS+, but it's easily worth...I dunno, $20? I got 34 hours of game time out of it. And remember, that's quality game time. I could probably have doubled it and had just as good of a time. I'd find more to complain about, but what game do I honestly find perfect? I mean, except Super Mario RPG. That's basically the greatest game ever made.

So, there you go, guys. My only real question after playing this is, "Where's the rain?" There was literally zero precipitation in either of these games. Quite disappointing after I spent last month getting completely washed out.

Congrats on both Risk of Rain 2 and Monster boy, your monstrously long descriptions are detailed as ever. Offering helpful advice to future hunters. Nearly at 400 platinums! O.O

Taruta13 · August 19, 2023

On 8/17/2023 at 1:07 PM, Cassylvania said:

Well, I was going to wish everybody a happy 6th anniversary of this thread, but I see the new PSNP format stole my thunder. At least everybody can enjoy the pleasure of dark mode now, it seems.

I didn't notice the change until now. What the heck happened and why did this do this? I enjoyed the old format.

On 8/17/2023 at 3:57 PM, Cassylvania said:

I was still scratching my head trying to figure out what any of this had to do with a lizard.

Lizards do not have hair, they are scaly. 😁

Cassylvania · August 20, 2023

On 8/17/2023 at 8:49 PM, Mori said:

I just came across the trailer for Shadow Gambit and had to think about you. I must say, this game looks really promising and I love that they just show gameplay, filled with lots of new stuff.

Looks neat. I'm assuming it's by the same people as Shadow Tactics and that western game I haven't played yet?

On 8/18/2023 at 6:26 AM, James_Tonto said:

Congrats on both Risk of Rain 2 and Monster boy, your monstrously long descriptions are detailed as ever. Offering helpful advice to future hunters. Nearly at 400 platinums! O.O

Thanks! Not sure what we'll do for 400 yet. I was going to make it Catherine, but that was before this whole wheel thing started and...well, you know...

At least we're close to spooky season. That's when I like earning those milestones.

On 8/18/2023 at 8:53 PM, Taruta13 said:

I didn't notice the change until now. What the heck happened and why did this do this? I enjoyed the old format.

There are some things I don't like, but overall it's nice to just see something being done to the site.

TRIAL #4: ThE tRiAl Of ThE sHaRk

As the health inspector was putting a giant padded lock around the front door of McDonald's, we were sitting in the parking lot, watching Meredith wrap toilet paper around RNGeta's ugly scarred face. He hadn't stopped screaming for at least an hour. As we waited for the third Dragon Ball to be delivered -- hopefully by express mail -- I wondered what the fourth trial had in store. It was the only one that involved a marine creature, so I was pretty excited about less. Less excited by the fact that I wouldn't be allowed to participate. Only Ajna and Ethan were eligible.

"Mr. Geta was wrong to say you have contributed the least to our team," Ethan said quietly, looking up at Ajna. "I've been useless from the start. Shaun would be so disappointed..."

"It's fine, Ethan. We're going to find your son."

"What if he was turned into a goldfish? He'd already have forgotten me..."

Ajna sighed. She looked like she was about to say something when her cell phone started to ring. Rolling her eyes, she flipped open the Hello Kitty case and held the phone to her ear.

"ARE YOU READY FOR THE FOURTH TRIAL!?" Master Roshi yelled into her ear. She nearly dropped the phone down a sewer grate. "THE FIRST THREE TRIALS INVOLVED SUFFERING, BUT THAT SUFFERING WAS YOUR OWN. ARE YOU PREPARED TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL THAT SAME PAIN IN PURSUIT OF YOUR QUEST?"

"I just shoved a man's face in a deep fryer," Ajna said. "Pretty sure I got that trial covered."

"THERE IS A SHOEBOX IN THE DUMPSTER BEHIND MCDONALD'S. I WANT TO USE WHAT'S INSIDE ON PAWBLO ESCOBARK. YOU CAN FIND HIS ADDRESS WRITTEN ON THE SHOEBOX."

"Why are you shouting?"

"DO THIS AND YOU WILL REWARDED WITH THE FOURTH DRAGON BALL."

Ajna hung up the phone. "Well, I'm sure you heard what he said. The whole block probably heard--"

But Ethan and I were already running for the dumpster. We pushed a hobo out of the way and dug around in the trash heap until we found the old shoebox. Sure enough, we saw the address written on the top of the box -- in what looked like Master Roshi's handwriting. What a strange coincidence.

"Maybe it's nothing bad," Ethan said, looking at me. He slowly opened the box. "Maybe it's like a dog whistle or a shock collar or..." His face dropped. His eyes widened. I tried to peak my head inside, but he quickly shut the box and set it down on the pavement. "...That will kill a man..."

"Well, good thing he's a dog now, right?" I asked.

Ethan frowned. "I can't do this..."

"This is for Shaun! We can't let your son down."

"You're right," Ethan said. He gripped the box with both hands and stood up. "For Shaun."

"For Shaun!"

I followed Ethan to the address on the box. I know it wasn't mandatory, but I mean, I did kinda limit myself by writing this story in first-person, so this is just the kind of thing we have to deal with. Same with the constant jumps from past to present tense. Just pretend I'm a professional writer and I know what I'm doing.

We reached a dingy apartment only a couple blocks away and followed the stairs up to the door at the top. Ethan had taken the object out of the shoebox and slipped it inside his rear pocket. I could see the sweat dripping from his brow as he knocked on the door. Nervously, he dropped the shoebox and took a step back.

Pawblo opened the door just a crack. I would've recognized those puppy dog eyes anywhere. He was wearing a wifebeater shirt and stained pants.

"Yeah?" he said in his usual gruff voice. "What do you want? Van won't be ready until tomorrow."

Ethan just stood there like a statue. It was really awkward. I'm glad I was hiding just a few feet away.

"Oh, fuck it... You're not here for the van, are you?" He opened the door the rest of the way. "I said a thousand times that I don't want any junkies at my door. If you wanna score, man, you gotta fuckin' call first. Come on. Beat it!" He went back inside and slammed the door.

Ethan just started looking left and right and talking to himself and I wondered if we should've asked Ajna to do this instead.

Sensing Ethan hadn't moved, Pawblo opened the door again.

"Fuck. Are you deaf or what? I said get out of here. You're gonna cause me trouble."

Finally, Ethan pulled the object out of his pocket and aimed it directly at Pawblo. It didn't take the furry long to realize what he was looking out. Throwing his paws up in the air, he retreated back into the apartment and Ethan followed.

"Take it easy, man," Pawblo said. "Keep cool. What do you want? Dope? Money? The recipe for McDonald's Szechaun sauce? Tell me what you need. I'm sure we can make a deal."

Ethan continued to hesitate, which really made this whole situation more awkward than it needed to be.

Unfortunately, that bought Pawblo all the time he needed to throw a punch across Ethan's face. Ethan fell backwards into a chair, while Pawblo grabbed a shotgun from the hallway. He somehow missed even though Ethan was temporarily incapacitated and only a few feet away. Chunks of plaster flew across the room.

Ethan ran into the dining room and started throwing chairs. Then both he and Pawblo showed little respect for literature as Pawblo shot up a bookcase and Ethan knocked a second bookcase to the floor.

Ethan crawled over some furniture and I ran into the apartment to get a better view. As they chased each other around the house, I helped myself to some milk from the fridge and rooted for Ethan from a safe distance.

"Nowhere to hide, junkie asshole!" Pawblo said, pumping his shotgun before putting another hole in the wall. I had no clue how he kept missing, but he seemed to be enjoying himself. He broke a window and then cornered Ethan in what looked like a little girl's room. Ethan's back was now to the wall. I scampered to the door and watched.

"I know what you're thinking," Pawblo said, holding the shotgun directly at the space between Ethan's eyes. Surely he couldn't miss from there. "Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a pump shotgun, the most inaccurately portrayed gun in modern media, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do you feel lucky?' Well, do ya... punk?"

"It's... 'Do *I* feel lucky."

"What?"

"The line you're quoting. It's wrong. Also, most shotguns only hold--"

"Oh, you're a wise guy, eh?" Pawblo pulled the trigger. This time, he didn't need to miss because apparently he was all out of bullets. He stared down at the barrel of his gun, wide-eyed, and then threw it down. His paws were back in the air. "Hold it, man. I'll give you whatever you want. Szechaun sauce. You want some Szechaun sauce? Please. Please, don't kill me, man." He pointed to the crayon drawings on the wall and then pulled out a portrait that he for some reason carried around with him. "I got children. It's my girls, see. This one's Ally McBeagle...and the little one, that's Muttilda. Please, man. I want to see them again. Please! Please..."

Ethan nervously held the object in front of him. I could tell he was hesitating again.

"I'm a father too," he said. "But I have no choice." He closed his eyes and opened fire. "Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish."

Pawblo clutched his chest and fell to his knees.

"What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks."

"Please, man!" Pawblo began weeping. Blood was dripping from his nose.

Ethan flipped to the next page, fingers shaking. "Why aren't koalas actual bears? They don't meet the koalaifications."

I had to cover my eyes and ears. It was too much to take in.

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A...gummy bear." Ethan winced. Pawblo was on his side, gasping for air. He tried crawling away, but Ethan just kept reading from his book of dad jokes. "What happens when a frog's car dies? He needs a jump."

"Please..." Pawblo cried. "No...more..."

"And if that doesn't work..."

Pawblo wept.

"...then he has to get it..."

"No..."

"...toad."

Pawblo whimpered one last time and then everything was silent Ethan dropped the book and sank down next to him.

"What have I done?" he cried.

He was so busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn't see the glowing gray orb fall out of the closet and roll across the floor. I scooped it up and quietly handed it over, putting a paw on Ethan's shoulder to comfort him.

Edited August 20, 2023 by Cassylvania

ProfSeajay7 · August 20, 2023

DATE: August 20, 2023
TIME: 11:29 AM
PLACE: Idyllshire, the Dravanian Hinterlands

I was looking around, wonder what was going on. Why did Nemona summon me here? I waddled around on my Lalafellian legs until I heard a click and slowly turned around to find a Reaper's scythe at my neck. I gulped as I knew who held it.

"Nemona..."

The female Lalafell sneered as Tataru Taru came out, also sneering.

Oh sh**. They were mental. "What's this?"

Suddenly my FFXIV character snapped her weapon back into the sheath on her back. I sighed and regretted making her wear that black bikini as her glam. Risque femme gear never really worked on a female smallfolk.

"We just got visited by Jin and his dragon brother," said Tataru coldly. "And he got word from a certain slugcat that someone is focusing on us more than platinums."

So that was it. I sighed deeply. "Look... I... just don't feel the desire to platinum much anymore, but I'll get the FFXIV platinum for #210, I promise!" I was sweating a bit.

"No more excuses, Boss," said Nemona angrily. "Look, I appreciate it. You did a lot to get me through and bring down King Thordain. I even meet some nice Level 90 guys who helped carry me to get those Coils of Bahamut trophies, including the Second Coil Savage one... but you forgot your roots."

Suddenly I saw a lot of people in the area. The Luminary, all of the named Final Fantasy protags from Firion to Squall Leonheart, Sora, the list went on. Soon I was surrounded by these people, who were shaking their heads in disappointment.

"It ends," said Nemona. "It ends now. I know this account will be trashed like all the others. And speaking of trash... you realize I had to dress up like a lolita just to hunt for you in that stupid idol cafe? It's time you focus on quality, not quantity. Eorzea is Platinum #210, but no more platinum will be earned on this account. Oh, and we know who murdered Blaise."

I gulped. That funsie account... yes, I had deleted it because I regretted starting trophies without thinking, but...

"I can read your mind, you know," said Nemona as she tapped the side of her head. "Benefits of the Echo."

SH**. "Uh... well..." I twiddled my thumbs.

"We'll forgive you," said Tataru. "On one condition." She held out a scroll with a list. I realized it was their demands. I read them over.

No more PSN accounts after this new one.
No more EZPZ games. (There was a sub list of games that were banned from this account and while I cringed at Artifex Mundi being on the list, I didn't care about LEGO being on the list as well, as I was sick and tired of those games. The Skywalker Saga had killed my love for LEGO. Of course, every visual novel and shovelware under the sun was there but on a seperate list that reached the edge of Idyllshire's gate.) All games had to have at least 2 hours required to complete.
And finally...

I gulped. "Are you serious? Do we have to do this?"

"Yes," said Nemona. "If you want to be a Lalafell in this world anymore, you will just have to earn that Fantasia after 2.0. Sooooo... choose. Either be G'raha Tia's taco-eating twin or join Y'shtola in her studies or Tural architecture." She crossed her arms and interrupted me before I could say anything. "YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS."

As she tipped the Fantasia down my throat, I realized that this was serious and, unfortunately, my mind made a jump decision before the transformation. I groaned and dug my now feline claws into my forehead as I slumped my new sexy Mi'qote body on the ground.

Then Veronica walked up, crossing arms. "Oh, by the way, you little pervert, give Nemona some clothes for her Dragoon, Reaper and Dark Knight job, or I will Magic Burst your a$$."

I gulped, but shouted in a high pitched female voice. "Two out of three, Nems. Dark Knight Omega spandex STAYS. I'll reglam Dragoon and Reaper, okay?"

Nemona shrugged. "Deal." She snapped her fingers and everyone vanished, leaving a couple of goblins to shriek in delight as I covered my face.

Great... I have to learn not to anger my FFXIV avatar. She may be small, but she is dangerous...

[To be continued...?]

So yeah, new account with 1000% less trash. The old account is staying as, unfortunately, this account won't have any lists on it that have ongoing DLC.

Also, yeah, just wanted to let you know I will be locking my old checklist and creating a new one soon. Sorry to put this little side-story on your thread, Cass, but I wanted to let you know I won't stain this thread with stuff like this ever again, I promise. 😛

Edited August 20, 2023 by ProfSeajay7

Taruta13 · August 21, 2023

A note here. I plan on ending my account here at #210 as I plan on that being Final Fantasy XIVi(as you can tell by the post above, I am a big FFXIV fan ) and then not playing any more games on that account except for testing out new games. The account I posted on above is going to be my final change for good, swear to the Twelve. I am going to do everything in my power to ensure that I do not hate that account. That list in the post above was a sort of hint on where I am going with that account.

Cass, I apologize for starting over AGAIN, but I got burned out on earning trophies on visual novels and whatnot and decided I want to try to cleanse and try one more time. I am getting into middle age and regretting some life choices(I have never have my first kiss ) so I want to try to revisit some games I liked.

Cassylvania · August 22, 2023

On 8/21/2023 at 3:37 PM, Taruta13 said:

Cass, I apologize for starting over AGAIN, but I got burned out on earning trophies on visual novels and whatnot and decided I want to try to cleanse and try one more time. I am getting into middle age and regretting some life choices(I have never have my first kiss ) so I want to try to revisit some games I liked.

I'm sure you'll get it right this time.

As for me, I decided I don't have enough games that will continue to drop DLC for the rest of my life. (And, yes, two days after starting this game, another DLC pack appeared.)

Platinum #395 - Two Point Campus

From the makers of Two Point Hospital, we have a brand new strategy simulation that lets you build the university of your dreams. But is this a campus you should enroll in, or is this one not even worth the old college try? (Eh...)

If you'll recall from the past six years of this thread, these kind of games are my comfort food. Two Point Hospital. Planet Coaster. Megaquarium. Prison Architect. I like being put in charge of things I know absolutely nothing about and finding ways to work the system. It's almost like these games are asking me to break them. I know they're not. I'll go back to my amusement park fry strategy, where I'll load my fries up with salt, jack up the prices of the concession stand drinks, and then throw my restrooms in the back of the park. That's not breaking the game. That's smart business strategy. But, in a way, it IS working the system. The dopamine hit I get when a plan comes together is unmatched. Some people celebrate coming in first in Mario Kart or maintaining a high kill streak in Shooter Game 4000: No-Scope Edition. I celebrate fictional people falling for my price gouging. And then there's the OCD side of me that, while much more controllable than it used to be, likes to create order. There's a flow to these games, of getting your customers or patients or prisoners where they need to be as quickly and efficiently as possible. It's almost like a puzzle and you're constantly tweaking it to get it just right. This is all, of course, just fluff before I get into the review, but you never know when someone new might come along and read one of my posts for the first time, so I want to make sure my preferences when it comes to video games are clear. (Who am I kidding? If somebody's first view of this thread was literally any of that text in purple, they're never coming back.)

To begin... well, you remember how I played Kingdom: New Lands and then a couple years later played Kingdom: Two Crowns, and I didn't even realize it was a different game until about halfway through? Yeah... From what I could tell, they basically just used the same engine and character models and tried to pass this off as a new game. I should be bothered, but I guess there are enough changes that the gameplay is slightly different. I'm going to have to write this review mostly from memory of TPH, but that game focused more on the overall flow of patients through the hospital. You only had a certain amount of time before they'd get frustrated and leave, so it was a matter of getting them through reception, getting diagnosed, and being sent to the correct treatment as quickly as possible, while providing amenities to make their stay comfortable. It was also fuckin' annoying. I loved that game, but a lot of the 3 star challenges required careful micromanagement. Getting a 90% cure rate was rarely easy and often came down to either RNG or having to manually remove people from the hospital when it seemed they wouldn't be treated in time. Fortunately, I'm happy to say that is NOT the case here. None of these challenges were particularly difficult. In fact, I never so much as needed to restart a map. Maybe it's because I've learned from my mistakes, but I think the overall game is much easier.

So, what do you actually do? Well, there's a Sandbox mode, but I'll mostly walk you through a typical level in the game. There are a dozen of these. In each level, you're tasked with completing several challenges to earn 1, 2, and eventually 3 stars, which you'll need to do to "complete" the map. Like I said, these challenges are much easier than the ones in TPH. They're usually stuff like reaching a certain campus level, increasing student happiness, and producing high grades. You do this by hiring teachers and building classrooms. You also need dormitories for your students, bathrooms so they don't pee on the floor, and additional places for them to study or party or whatever kids do in college. Of course, this being a Two Point game, it comes with all the usual PG-rated humor. It's just as charming as TPH. Just to give you some examples, some of the classes in this game are Funny Business (class clowns), Internet History, and Wizardry (Harry Potter). Typically, you're only tasked with having one or two classes per level, just to match the theme. For example, the Harry Potter level has this witch constantly sending natural disasters your way. But these classes will often require more than just a simple classroom, and you may be tasked with adding new things to the classroom over time for students to complete an assignment. That's why you may want to make rooms slightly larger than the minimum size.

Room size, of course, was a big thing in TPH. Every room has a minimum size and at least one object that must be present, including a door. You may think, "Oh, I'll just make every room HUGE," but that's not usually an option, not only because of cost, but because space is also limited. I guess you also might want to consider room capacity. A room that can only hold two people, for example (like one-on-one tutoring sessions), probably shouldn't be 10x10. There's probably an ideal size for each room, but...like I said, this game is much more forgiving than TPH. I think you can just do whatever you want.

Dorms, I think, are the trickiest thing to get right. I started out using smaller dorms. Something like 2x3. Each bed can hold five students, which...I mean, it IS a college, so...I guess...? Anyway, I found a bigger dorm that has ten beds is better. You really want to make use of that space, though, so it's a good idea to try to cram as much into the room as possible. This is the min/maxing that you'd be accustomed to if you're coming from TPH. Yes, it might LOOK nicer if you have a lot of space between your beds, but your students have to WALK that distance. The more time they're walking, the less they're doing, so it's actually more efficient to cram all the beds together and give them just enough space that they aren't crowding each other in the doorway. This requires some finagling that is unfortunately harder to do with a controller than it would with a keyboard and mice. Another point for PC users.

There are some differences from TPH I should point out. First, no more gold star spam. Rooms still have prestige, but it doesn't max out at 5. So, you're still going to want to fill every space with an object, but you need to vary things if you want a high prestige for that room. That means using different rugs, posters, machines, even garbage cans. I guess that's an improvement... I dunno. Makes some rooms look like a clown would live there because there's no consistent theme.

Second big change is (drum roll, please!)...PASS-THROUGH DOORWAYS. Hooray. This is ACTUALLY the most exciting change from TPH. In TPH, you always needed a hallway for patients to travel. They couldn't just, say, walk from a hallway into a bathroom and then exit that bathroom through a different door. Here, you could technically cram some buildings full of rooms and potentially have little to no hallways at all. I don't think that'd be efficient or even a good idea, but it does make it easier to cope in situations where you're running low on space or have an idea for a backdoor in one of your classrooms in case a teacher or student wants to take a shortcut to their next destination.

Anyway... Students graduate at the end of each year. I don't think time passes during "summer," so there's a lot less need to pause in this game. Summer is the only time you can add new courses, but you're free to build new rooms, decorate, and hire or fire staff members at any time. The game will even tell you what you'll need to get through the year in terms of classrooms and staff members, and even if you're projected to lose money. That was rarely an issue for me. By the third or fourth year, I always had more money than I could spend. And you can take out a loan if you really need one. My advice would be to train your staff members instead of hiring, except when you need to. You're also going to want to save templates for your rooms because, if you're anything like, me, you'll end up building the same rooms over and over. Can't remember if that was a feature in TPH or not.

I enjoyed this game. It was more relaxing than I think I anticipated. You can often just put the controller down and walk away for a few minutes while you're waiting for the school year to go by. You'll need that in the beginning when money is harder to come by. But there's rarely if ever an issue so pressing that if you aren't near your TV the moment it happens, it's game over. The worst thing I've seen happen is a student gets a bad grade because they missed an assignment because you didn't provide them the right item. Boo-hoo. Cry about it, kid.

Now, when it comes to recommendations, I have to decide if I'd recommend this OVER TPH. That's...not an easy one to answer. I preferred TPH, BUT this is the more approachable game by far. TPH actually expects you to know how to micromanage. TPC is much easier, much more laid-back, and honestly has almost all the things that made TPH good, plus more. I don't really see a reason to play TPH over this if you're just curious about the game or the genre. It feels like this one should come first, which is odd for a sequel or whatever you want to call this.

Either way, this is only about a 30-40 hour platinum. We'll see how much padding the DLC adds, but keep in mind I put 237 hours into TPH. This game's got some pretty big clown-sized shoes to fit in if it wants to match that.

Edited August 24, 2023 by Cassylvania

ProfSeajay7 · August 23, 2023

On 8/22/2023 at 12:13 AM, Cassylvania said:

I'll go back to my amusement park fry strategy, where I'll load my fries up with salt, jack up the prices of the concession stand drinks, and then throw my restrooms in the back of the park. That's not breaking the game. That's smart business strategy. But, in a way, it IS working the system. The dopamine hit I get when a plan comes together is unmatched. Some people celebrate coming in first in Mario Kart or maintaining a high kill streak in Shooter Game 4000: No-Scope Edition. I celebrate fictional people falling for my price gouging.

I swear, you could make a killing in the MMORPG market. KingsIsle and Nexon would be waving white flags if they saw how much money you were making from your monetization strategies. You'd take the box of evil monetization schemes that Josh Strife Hayes talks about, shrug, go "meh" and throw it out the window and everyone would be in awe as you did even more profane things in your MMO, things that would have gotten you arrested in real life, and hordes would be FLOCKING to your game, spreading their...

Whoops, almost got a little R-rated, but seriously, I am just very glad you don't have the money or time to make an MMO, or the MMOpocalypse would be upon us. 😆😛

Great review. Not going to try it(as it keeps dropping DLC and as I said, this account refutes any DLC I cannot complete in my lifetime) but I've seen the trailers and think it'd be a great PC game to mess around with. (I used to play The Sims 4 before they put out more packs than I can install on my choked computer which is full of spyware clogging my memory - I might have to forego my trip to a Games Done Quick charity event and use that $1800 I'm saving up to buy a gaming rig so I can play that again. )

gruffiiti · August 23, 2023

I'll admit I haven't been reading as faithfully anymore as the goofy purple stories never really clicked with me and I found I was just skipping over them anyways. I do however pop in and read your actual game reviews and experiences when I have time as to me that is the real gold. Congrats on 6 years of dedication to building this space!

Cassylvania · August 29, 2023

On 8/23/2023 at 10:42 AM, gruffiiti said:

I'll admit I haven't been reading as faithfully anymore as the goofy purple stories never really clicked with me and I found I was just skipping over them anyways. I do however pop in and read your actual game reviews and experiences when I have time as to me that is the real gold. Congrats on 6 years of dedication to building this space!

Thanks. I'll just dispense with the rest of the story.

How to Justify a PS+ Subscription in 12 Easy Steps

The Fourth Rolling

I believe we're now at the quarter mark. We started off weak with Dragon Ball Z (remember, I liked the show, but not the game), went through a roller coaster of emotions with current GOTY Rain World and its conveniently-timed DLC, and then finally stabilized this month with an all-around average game in Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (a title so generic that it literally took me four attempts to get it right). I finished that game so long ago that I almost forgot we were doing this event. Well, I WOULD have forgotten, but I've been banking on getting a spooky game for a couple other community events I'm in. I'm not sure we will here, but there's actually a pretty decent chance we might. Depends what qualifies as "spooky," I suppose.

Of course, I'm looking at the wheel now. You're not. So, let's remind everybody where we are:

As you can see, we actually had to remove two games from the wheel. I explained this in a previous post, but the simple reason is that they were (or are about to be) removed from PS+, so they no longer qualified. Does it mean I'll never play those games? No, but I'd have to physically buy them, so they're at the very least no longer part of this event. If any other of these games are removed from PS+ by May 2024, I'll do the same.

That means we're technically down to only 19 options and...nine months, if I'm doing my math right. Just under 50/50 odds for each remaining game to be played.

September 2023 is probably going to be one of the busiest months in my life due to the big move, which I've set tentatively for next weekend (!). The house isn't done yet. I haven't even started on the game room. But the sooner I move in, the sooner I can begin working there in the evenings and at nighttime, which just hasn't been possible since the start of the year. I'd really like to see a relaxing game come up this time. 13-18 remains the danger zone, I think.

It's technically only 9:00 pm on Aug 28 as I write this, so I guess I have a few more hours before I can spin the wheel. I'm going to work on my backlog while I wait. I have a couple more reviews I'd like to squeeze out this month, but I don't know if it'll happen. This rolling is also interesting because there's the potential for it to impact the 400th platinum milestone. I mean that in two ways. First, if the game is good enough, it might end up becoming that milestone. I don't have any better ideas. Second, however, is that it might force me to start platinum counting. I'd still like to try to finish each game in the month I roll it, so I might have to speed up or slow down, depending on where we are a few weeks from now. That's why you see a bunch of random new games on my active list. I'm planning ahead.

I don't really know what to do without a silly story to back me up, so I guess I'll just talk about what game(s) I'd like to see come up in the roll. If I could get The Quarry in either September or October, that'd be cool. I think some of the sci-fi games would count as horror, but it's hard to find a better game on the list for the best season of the year. I also don't think I'd mind one of the superhero games, since those always have a Halloween-y feel. (Yes, I know we're still two months anyway, but if I see stores putting out Christmas decorations in October, then you're getting Halloween talk in August. And "Christmas in July"? Don't even start with that shit.)

Ho hum... You know what game I'm really good at, guys? Like, I don't usually toot my own horn here, but I'm riding a 540/540 win streak in Wordle. I missed playing a couple days, but I've yet to lose a game. I know saying this means I probably jinxed myself, but...come on, that's kinda cool. I don't even use a strategy. I try a different starting word almost every day. In the beginning, I was actually using the word "ZESTY" every day -- mostly so I could be edgy. Then it turned out to be the answer like a few weeks later. Seeing all those letters go green right away brought a smile to my face. Then I started alternating the word "FISHY" every other day, which turned out to be the answer...on a day I didn't play it. That sucked. Now, I think it's better just to pick the first word to come to mind. (It's the 800th day of the game, so I figured I'd share that news.) Moving on...

You guys probably think I'm nervous, but I'm not really... What do I have to lose? I can't get 100% on my account. No game is going to shit on me like Rain World did. I already have like twenty active games, with little chance of finishing any of them before I start something new. I've lost any and all control of my life. I'm basically Stu Pickles making chocolate pudding at 4 o'clock in the morning. It's funny how I'm now older than the "adult" characters in that show.

Did I say funny? I meant horrifying.

Anyway, it's like 1 AM now... Not sure where the time went. I got nothing done.

Alright, 1-24... keeping in mind I have to reroll if I land on a game we've already played or removed... And I got... 16. Well, that sucks for the Yakuza fans. You were one month too late. Let's go again.

VEEEERY close to the same number. (Fortunately, it's not the one we were all dreading.) Game #4 will be...

DANDARA

Um... OK. Don't know much about this one. @DrBloodmoney finally gets his first entry in the event, which means I'm confident he actually played it (and remembers it extremely well). No guide on PSNP, but I seem to recall it being one of those short/difficult games. (With DLC because of course it does.) Hope the DLC is free. I'm not against paying for it during this event because I kinda had to for Rain World, but it does kinda goes against the spirit of things...

I feel like every month has 31 days. Makes me wonder why I do these rolls so early. I can't even begin this game until Friday.

Well, plenty of time to prepare! And now I won't have to worry about how to incorporate that goofy story into whatever the plot of this game is. That's nice. Let us hope Dandara can make this moving process as painless as possible.

(And no, this will not be a milestone. The developers can't even spell "All" in the platinum name.)

pelagia14 · August 29, 2023

On 8/22/2023 at 1:13 AM, Cassylvania said:

As for me, I decided I don't have enough games that will continue to drop DLC for the rest of my life. (And, yes, two days after starting this game, another DLC pack appeared.)

Platinum #395 - Two Point Campus

From the makers of Two Point Hospital, we have a brand new strategy simulation that lets you build the university of your dreams. But is this a campus you should enroll in, or is this one not even worth the old college try? (Eh...)

Casssssssss! I've been trying to avoid all the Strategy Simulation games, despite Cities: Skylines and Two Point Hospital: JUMBO Edition being on PS+ Catalog, since Cities Skylines II releases towards the end of October. But dammit, I keep reading reviews about these games and it makes me want to ignore the rest of the games in my backlog and just disappear for a few weeks.

On 8/22/2023 at 1:13 AM, Cassylvania said:

I enjoyed this game. It was more relaxing than I think I anticipated. You can often just put the controller down and walk away for a few minutes while you're waiting for the school year to go by. You'll need that in the beginning when money is harder to come by. But there's rarely if ever an issue so pressing that if you aren't near your TV the moment it happens, it's game over. The worst thing I've seen happen is a student gets a bad grade because they missed an assignment because you didn't provide them the right item. Boo-hoo. Cry about it, kid.

Ooooh, a game that actually caters to my tendency to leave it running while I get distracted by something else for a little bit, or go and cook dinner while I listen to the game's background music?! 😂

7 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

How to Justify a PS+ Subscription in 12 Easy Steps

The Fourth Rolling

As you can see, we actually had to remove two games from the wheel. I explained this in a previous post, but the simple reason is that they were (or are about to be) removed from PS+, so they no longer qualified. Does it mean I'll never play those games? No, but I'd have to physically buy them, so they're at the very least no longer part of this event. If any other of these games are removed from PS+ by May 2024, I'll do the same.

Gosh, I still really love the DBZ background that you added to the wheel! It's so aesthetically pleasing, matches the color palette of the wheel, and represents the start of your journey with this. Will be interesting to see if/when you decide to change the background! Also, honestly I think as long as by the twelfth month you still have at least 3 options to pick from, it doesn't really matter if a few more games get removed from the wheel because you're still following the event's philosophy.

Also wow, good luck with the moving!

7 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

VEEEERY close to the same number. (Fortunately, it's not the one we were all dreading.) Game #4 will be...

DANDARA

Um... OK. Don't know much about this one. @DrBloodmoney finally gets his first entry in the event, which means I'm confident he actually played it (and remembers it extremely well). No guide on PSNP, but I seem to recall it being one of those short/difficult games. (With DLC because of course it does.) Hope the DLC is free. I'm not against paying for it during this event because I kinda had to for Rain World, but it does kinda goes against the spirit of things...

I feel like every month has 31 days. Makes me wonder why I do these rolls so early. I can't even begin this game until Friday.

Well, plenty of time to prepare! And now I won't have to worry about how to incorporate that goofy story into whatever the plot of this game is. That's nice. Let us hope Dandara can make this moving process as painless as possible.

(And no, this will not be a milestone. The developers can't even spell "All" in the platinum name.)

Honestly, @realm722's post about the game has made me really tempted to try it out at some point, even though I am not good with difficult platformers. That led me to check out DrBloodmoney's review, which got me super interested in the lore aspect as well. Plus the game looks gorgeous.

The version on PS+ Catalog is the "Trials of Fear" edition, so you don't have to purchase the DLC! 😉

Also, while I don't know for sure, I bet you could call this as your third game for I Know What You Did Last 13 Platinums. The DLC is all about fear trials, after all, and my understanding is that a lot of characters are spirits which is ~spooky~! Though maybe @DrBloodmoney can confirm that.

DrBloodmoney · August 29, 2023

8 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

DANDARA

Um... OK. Don't know much about this one. @DrBloodmoney finally gets his first entry in the event, which means I'm confident he actually played it (and remembers it extremely well). No guide on PSNP, but I seem to recall it being one of those short/difficult games. (With DLC because of course it does.) Hope the DLC is free. I'm not against paying for it during this event because I kinda had to for Rain World, but it does kinda goes against the spirit of things...

I feel like every month has 31 days. Makes me wonder why I do these rolls so early. I can't even begin this game until Friday.

Well, plenty of time to prepare! And now I won't have to worry about how to incorporate that goofy story into whatever the plot of this game is. That's nice. Let us hope Dandara can make this moving process as painless as possible.

(And no, this will not be a milestone. The developers can't even spell "All" in the platinum name.)

The DLC will likely be built into the version on there (if it's called the Trials of Fear Edition, then it has the DLC already in there)

It's a great game - a metroidvania, and it is short, though I wouldn't say particularly difficult. It's more a case of figuring out how to get around, and finding all the things than straight "yo this room is full of tough enemies". There's some sections where it gets pretty frenetic, but that's not the major focus here- it's not like, bullet hell stuff or anything.

I'm also pretty sure the DLC added some accessibility type stuff in there, which lets you set the game to a challenge level that fits you.

@pelagia14 it doesn't really fit to a Halloween theme as I recall...

...but the trials of fear stuff could maybe be argued to get close to that - might need a bit of a technical crowbar, but I could see it I guess - I'm not sure of the specific rules of that event though!

YaManSmevz · August 29, 2023

11 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Ho hum... You know what game I'm really good at, guys? Like, I don't usually toot my own horn here, but I'm riding a 540/540 win streak in Wordle. I missed playing a couple days, but I've yet to lose a game. I know saying this means I probably jinxed myself, but...come on, that's kinda cool. I don't even use a strategy. I try a different starting word almost every day. In the beginning, I was actually using the word "ZESTY" every day -- mostly so I could be edgy. Then it turned out to be the answer like a few weeks later. Seeing all those letters go green right away brought a smile to my face. Then I started alternating the word "FISHY" every other day, which turned out to be the answer...on a day I didn't play it. That sucked. Now, I think it's better just to pick the first word to come to mind. (It's the 800th day of the game, so I figured I'd share that news.) Moving on...

Yooo wifey and I get down on some Wordle. Big up to your streak man, there's two of us and I don't think we've gotten more than ten or twelve in a row🤣

Shit, now I wanna keep track🤔

Also congrats on the move! Hope everything goes nice and smooth👊

Cassylvania · August 29, 2023

8 hours ago, pelagia14 said:

Ooooh, a game that actually caters to my tendency to leave it running while I get distracted by something else for a little bit, or go and cook dinner while I listen to the game's background music?! 😂

I forgot to talk about the music, didn't I? Yeah, so... Here's the thing. I don't...really...care for Two Point soundtracks. I think TPH had one track (something like Missed Call?) that I liked. I literally turned off every other track except for that one. The other ones were all bubbly and got really distracting when they only last a few minutes each. I remember that Call song was just chill and I could listen to it for hours without being annoyed.

With TPC... I didn't give it much of a chance. I have my own music I can listen to. And then there's movies, YouTube videos, sports... I'd say most games these days either need to have solid voice acting or have really good music for me to consider listening to them exclusively.

8 hours ago, DrBloodmoney said:

The DLC will likely be built into the version on there (if it's called the Trials of Fear Edition, then it has the DLC already in there)

It's a great game - a metroidvania, and it is short, though I wouldn't say particularly difficult. It's more a case of figuring out how to get around, and finding all the things than straight "yo this room is full of tough enemies". There's some sections where it gets pretty frenetic, but that's not the major focus here- it's not like, bullet hell stuff or anything.

I'm also pretty sure the DLC added some accessibility type stuff in there, which lets you set the game to a challenge level that fits you.

@pelagia14 it doesn't really fit to a Halloween theme as I recall...

...but the trials of fear stuff could maybe be argued to get close to that - might need a bit of a technical crowbar, but I could see it I guess - I'm not sure of the specific rules of that event though!

Good to know! I'll find a different game for the Halloween event. If it really fits, it could always be a late entry.

I don't really understand the rules myself, but it seems like rarer games = better, so Dandara would be nice if it could work. If not, no big deal. If there's one thing I'm never short of, it's spooky-themed games.

5 hours ago, YaManSmevz said:

Yooo wifey and I get down on some Wordle. Big up to your streak man, there's two of us and I don't think we've gotten more than ten or twelve in a row🤣

I've played with fire before. There's been several times I get to my last guess and it could be multiple things, but it usually seems to be the most common possible word. I'll often use my middle guesses to eliminate any other choices. For example, if the letters I know so far are GRA_E, I'll consider it could be a P, T, Z, V, D, or C (maybe more), and try to come up with some word that uses as many of those letters as possible. Like...I dunno...CAVED or ADAPT. It's sacrificing a a quick win for a sure win, which is kinda the story of my life. I play the long game.

I suspect the day I lose is the day it's a word I've never heard of.

Speaking of words I've never heard of...

Platinum #396 - Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series

Would you believe this is the second game I played this month that features a cast of furries and a secondary villain dressed as a clown? And no, that wasn't planned. That was just the theme of August 2023.

So, I don't know if I've been hiding under a rock all my life, but Klonoa is apparently a cherished platformer from the late 90s. Cherished enough to warrant a sequel (which is also included in this game) and a remaster. That means this is technically one of those platinums that could've been separated into two. We'll say this makes up for some other garbage platinum I have. I don't know. What's a game I played that didn't deserve a platinum? Deiland? That game was trash.

I'm getting off-topic, though. The point is, uh... I've never heard of Klonoa before this release. In fact, the only reason I even became aware of it after the release is that I saw some people talking about it on the forums and wanted to see what I missed out on. From the looks of it, the original came out in 1997 on the PS1 and the sequel in 2002 on the PS2. I'm pretty sure I had both consoles in my family, but I always gravitated towards Nintendo games at that age, so my only real experience on the PlayStation was Crash and Spyro -- neither of which honestly impressed me at the time. I like them now, of course, but you weren't allowed to like games from other companies in the 90s. That was the console wars time, guys. My brother was the PlayStation guy and I was into Nintendo. (My little sis only got the Dreamcast. What did that have? The dolphin game? Nintendon't make me laugh.)

The point I'm trying to make is this: even if I had heard of Klonoa, I probably wouldn't have touched this game. I would've found some reason to despise him. And he's not exactly...memorable. (I'm talking about the main character here, guys.) I'm not sure what Klonoa is supposed to be. I'm not Googling him for safety reasons. I'm just going to call him a skabbit -- a mix between a skunk and a rabbit. He's one of those rad dude characters from the 90s. Edgy, you know... like me playing "ZESTY" in Wordle. He wears a hat (backwards, of course), oversized gloves, red sneakers that make him go fast, and he sometimes surfs on land. Yeah, Sony really wanted their own Sonic... Guess they had to settle for a purple dragon and an orange bandicoot. I'd put Klonoa somewhere between Gex and 7-Up's Spot in terms of popular mascots at that time. Not quite as far down as the Bubsy tier, but that also means he's less memorable. You probably didn't even remember Spot was a thing until I mentioned it.

Now, surprisingly, they didn't make Klonoa talk like a 90s mascot. He's just a chill guy who wants to help his friends. I didn't care for the story in either game because they're a little too...basic, I guess, for my liking...but they're wholesome. Kinda reminds me of Kingdom Hearts, before the plot went batshit insane. A lot of that, "Light will always beat darkness!" and "You are the Dream Traveler, Klonoa!" nonsense. Not my cup of tea, but at least he's not spewing bad puns in my ear every time I start a level or he takes damage.

So, what kind of game is this? Well, it's a platformer from the late 90s. Klonoa can jump, flutter jump, and grab enemies (with his magical ring? I don't know) to throw in any direction. (Kinda reminds me of another mascot... a certain green dinosaur. Or maybe shake shake girl.) The gimmick here is that the game is partially 3D, meaning that Klonoa can grab and fire projectiles into the foreground and background. You'll need to do this to hit switches and reach collectibles. I would've liked this feature a lot more if the developers didn't also try to make the platforming pseudo-3D. See, rather than walking right or left in a straight line, many of the levels begin to twist and bend, so you gotta do some kind of calculus or trigonometry to figure out the trajectory of your target. Otherwise, you're going to miss and have to grab another enemy. The nice thing is that enemies always conveniently respawn as soon as you kill them. That sucks in some games. It doesn't here.

Regardless of which game you're playing, each level has six collectibles. You need all them in both games to get the platinum. Other than that, I think every other trophy comes naturally. You have a few bosses you have to kill in each game and a couple bonus levels you'll need to play through. These are a bit harder than the main game.

The collectibles are a mix of good and bad. Good: there's an on-screen tracker; if you grab one and die, you don't have to collect it again; they always go in order, so you'll know if you missed one; they're usually visible. Some of them are just easier to collect than others. The bad: the developers are straight-up dicks with one of them. I don't know what they were thinking. In the second game, you'll get to one of the last levels and there's this collectible that requires grabbing an enemy and blasting yourself upwards to break a box. The problem is you CAN'T reach the box. (Yeah, I forgot to mention. Klonoa can use an enemy he's holding to double jump. That's actually an extremely important game mechanic and probably the most original thing in the game. Really neat concept. Good job, devs.) I think you're supposed to reach the upper platform, wait for the enemy to respawn, and then grab it in mid-air so you get just a bit more range. Doesn't matter. I tried a hundred times and still couldn't reach the box. If you have a second controller, though, you can use a "support jump," which makes the jump super easy... I dunno. I haven't decided if I'm going to recommend this game or not, but I'm going to say no if you only have a single controller. Otherwise, good luck with that part.

It also kinda sucks if you miss one and reach a point in the level where you can't go back. The levels aren't usually long, per se, but you're not going to want to them any of them more than once.

Now, there are two difficulties: Normal and the difficulty I played on. I played on Easy. This isn't Rain World. I don't want to suffer. I want to beat the game. I don't know how much it really mattered, though, because the game showers you with health pick-ups. (Even during boss fights sometimes.) But the REAL reason it doesn't matter is because the main thing that's going to kill you is falling. Which will happen a lot. And it's an instant death. There's fortunately a checkpoint system, which is extremely generous at times, but that doesn't stop the fact that Klonoa is NOT the best platformer of his era. He controls OK in the air. The problem is the flutter jump. He doesn't gain much height, if any. It's mostly a desperation move on your part if you have to use it. It's mainly for those subtle mid-air adjustments. He might gain a couple extra inches of horizontal movement. Otherwise, he's falling to his death. And he doesn't grab onto ledges or wall jump either, so you'll often clip the corner of something and watch him fall. I'd say the main reason you want to use the flutter jump is if you want to delay your fall. Sometimes timing is important, like when a platform is moving below you or you're waiting for a disappearing block to reappear. This isn't a precision platformer, but it can feel like it at times.

I think the hardest movements are when you have to grab objects in mid-air. Again, it's mostly because it feels like a desperation move. He has short range and I think the object you're reaching for has to be directly in front of him. This isn't terrible on the ground, but when you're in the air... well, break out the calculator again.

I wouldn't call this a puzzle game, but there are some moments where you have to figure out how to trigger a switch or throw enemies in a particular order. For example, there might be three enemies on the screen. In other games from the time, you might have the option of killing them or simply ignoring them. In Klonoa, if there's an enemy, there's usually a reason. You might need to use that enemy to double jump. You might need to throw that enemy at something. You might need to use that enemy to double jump to reach another enemy, which you can then use to do another double jump or throw. In a way, this game was a bit ahead of its time. I can see kids back in the 90s, wearing their tie-dye clothes and baggy pants, rocking out to this rad game after school with a box of Fruit Roll-Ups and some Hi-C before doing some mad skateboarding tricks off their mom's back steps. I bet everybody wanted to be Klonoa.

Here's the thing, though, guys. I don't have nostalgia for this. I can appreciate some of the gimmicks the game presents. There actually are several concepts here that I don't think were done very often at the time. There are even some neat surfing levels that...I mean, they control just fine and are mostly linear...but I actually preferred them over the basic platforming. Levels just aren't that exciting. There's no overlying theme, if that makes sense. Like, there are "snow" levels and "city" levels and "forest" levels, but they just kinda blend together because they reuse a lot of the same assets, enemy designs, and mechanics. It's like a clown. Instead of having a singular concept and building around that, they went with a mishmash of different colors and ideas, so everything is assaulting your eyes at once and nothing really stands out. It's sensory overload. You take a good game like DKC2. You show me a screenshot and I can tell you what world you're in, what enemies you find there, the soundtrack, and probably even where the closest bonus barrel is. I don't think I could do that with Klonoa. I bet I couldn't even tell which Klonoa game you're playing. And I don't mean to pick on this game by comparing it to one of the greatest 2D platformers ever made, but the same thing is true if I say SMB3...or Mega Man...or Sonic...or Crash. The thing is, if you want to be a 90s mascot character, you're going to have to stand out. I can remember the levels in the Home Improvement game better than this (and I'm pretty sure I never got past the first one). And that's ultimately my biggest problem with this game. No cohesion. Nothing that will make me remember the game when I get to my awards at the end of the year.

You'll notice I didn't separate out the two games. There's no reason to. They play more or less the same. The second game has surfing levels and some harder platforming. That's about. The bosses are terrible. I really don't think they should've bothered even having boss fights. It doesn't really work around the rest of the game's gimmicks. Most of the bosses just involve running in circles until you can grab the object you can throw at the boss. Rinse and repeat. I don't think I EVER died on a boss fight, except by falling. Maybe a higher difficulty would've changed that. It doesn't matter. The difficulty isn't what will break or make this game for most people. It's entirely up to whether or not you grew up with this kind of game. If you played the original before and you liked it, you'll like this. If you played literally any other popular platformer in the 90s (that wasn't Bubsy), you're OK skipping this one. I'm not going to recommend a game based on nostalgia -- regardless of whether I have nostalgia for it or not. I'm going to compare the game to the other options out there. There were better options in 1997 and there are certainly better options now. Might I recommend DKC2?

Well, that was certainly harsh. But, come on, 2D platformers are my bread-and-butter. This is the stuff I grew up with. If you want to take on the kings, don't show up dressed as a fool. Get outta here, Klonoa. You came, you went, and you got dusted by better games. A 7/10 just isn't good enough in a crowded genre.

Anybody know any good 2D platformers I haven't played? Top category in the OP. Not a Metroidvania or a puzzle platformer. Something with just running and jumping, like Kaze or Marsupiwhatever.

Edited August 29, 2023 by Cassylvania

DrBloodmoney · August 30, 2023

13 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Anybody know any good 2D platformers I haven't played? Top category in the OP. Not a Metroidvania or a puzzle platformer. Something with just running and jumping, like Kaze or Marsupiwhatever.

Rayman Origins and Rayman Legends are both excellent Platformers of the "run and jump", non Metroidvania, non-Puzzle Platformer variety 👍

Also, not 2D (but still top category in the OP) - the Psychonauts games are great

Edited August 30, 2023 by DrBloodmoney

shadaik · August 30, 2023

14 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Anybody know any good 2D platformers I haven't played? Top category in the OP. Not a Metroidvania or a puzzle platformer. Something with just running and jumping, like Kaze or Marsupiwhatever.

I think you haven't played Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams. No platinum, but an excellent game.

ProfSeajay7 · September 1, 2023

One thing I wanted to note about the post story I made above: I'm not deleting my prior account because I have no intentions of ever playing FFXIV on this new account. While the PS4 trophy list has no DLC, the grind needed to platinum it takes six real life months due to one trophy requiring 1000 levequests, and you only get six allowances every real life 24 hours and your cap is 100, and my time with spamming potion gifts to the Lalafell in Horizon are done. And no way in the Seven Hells am I doing the PS5 trophy list due to the fact that it's impossible to 100% and this account is only for 100% completions.

But I still want to platinum FFXIV so I will do it on my previous account... despite the fact I used a story skip item and therefore auto-popped all the story-related trophies. Oops. <_<

ProfSeajay7 · September 1, 2023

On 8/30/2023 at 2:41 AM, DrBloodmoney said:

Rayman Origins and Rayman Legends

She said GOOD platformers, not insanely difficult platformers with horrible trophies. In fact, you have to jump through hoops to platinum Rayman Legends due to one trophy requiring doing tons of daily missions to get the top level of Awesomeness. <_<

DrBloodmoney · September 1, 2023

17 minutes ago, ProfSeajay7 said:

She said GOOD platformers, not insanely difficult platformers with horrible trophies. In fact, you have to jump through hoops to platinum Rayman Legends due to one trophy requiring doing tons of daily missions to get the top level of Awesomeness.

They are both good platformers.
Excellent ones in fact, with some great art, smart design, really good physics models, and great fun - in coop or solo.

Neither one is particularly difficult - and that’s coming from someone not particularly platforming-proficient either.

Origins has a few tricky levels, but Cassy has done Guacamelee, and nothing in either Rayman game is above the difficulty level of that game.

Yes, Rayman Legends has ONE trophy that will take a little time - a few minutes out of someone’s day for a few months - that still has exactly zero impact on the quality of the game though…

Rally-Vincent--- · September 1, 2023

Platformers - more than meets the eye

Origins wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of

Rayman Legends

Platformers

Robots in disguise...

No, wait - wrong cartoon.

grayhammmer · September 2, 2023

Ooh! Are we talking about Rayman Legends? This is the perfect opportunity to brag about my platinum I got for that game, wasting over three months specifically grinding for that one trophy for bragging rights!

Damn shame I no longer have the working PS3 necessary to get and play Origins.

ProfSeajay7 · September 3, 2023

23 hours ago, grayhammmer said:

grinding for that one trophy for bragging rights!

Yeah, that was the trophy I was talking about, getting to Level 11 in Awesomeness. I think it's almost impossible to get now because they shut down the online servers for that game.

Cassylvania · September 3, 2023

On 8/30/2023 at 3:41 AM, DrBloodmoney said:

Rayman Origins and Rayman Legends are both excellent Platformers of the "run and jump", non Metroidvania, non-Puzzle Platformer variety 👍

Also, not 2D (but still top category in the OP) - the Psychonauts games are great

Yeah, people have suggested Rayman before. I played them when I was younger, but I never liked the character. I think I feel the same way about him that most people feel about Bubsy. I dunno. His design has always been a turn-off for me. That trophy that requires playing every day for a few months does too. It's bad enough trying to do Genshin and Wordle every day. I spend a good 20-30 minutes doing my daily "rounds."

Psychonauts has always been on my to-play list. Hopefully someday.

On 8/30/2023 at 5:33 AM, shadaik said:

I think you haven't played Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams. No platinum, but an excellent game.

I heard it's really tough. I think I watched a playthrough once. In FACT, I think I bought it... It's somewhere in my backlog, I'm pretty sure.

Haven't touched Dandara yet. Trying to get ready for my move next weekend. Right now, the plan is just to shove all my belongings in a single bedroom. The good news is I have internet. Not sure there's any bad news.

...uh, I won't have any kitchen appliances? Yeah, that kinda sucks.

Cassylvania's Miserable Little Pile of Platinums

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