Cassylvania's Miserable Little Pile of Platinums

[Cassylvania]

9 hours ago, Grotz99 said:

Even though they are the sworn enemies of the Vikings (whom I have friends that are avid fans of) I became a Packers fan because of Aaron Rogers, dude is just fun to watch and now with Aaron Jones and Devante Adams, they make some awesome plays. Plus what's not to love about cheese?

 

Makes sense. I don't think I would be a true Vikings fan today if it wasn't for Randy Moss. He just came around at a time when I was kinda into football, but didn't have anything or anybody to rally around. Seeing him shred the Cowboys on Thanksgiving Day is still one of my favorite NFL memories. ?

 

The Packers have a lot of fans because of three great quarterbacks and their storied history, not because people live in Green Bay.

 

I think the thing I hate most about sports -- football, in particular -- is that there's no inherent loyalty among players. Fans are expected to stick with the same team ("laundry, not the name on the back"), but players and coaches get moved around all the time. Just this season, I saw a slew of former Vikings on the Bills, Browns, and *gasp* Cowboys. How am I supposed to accept this?

 

I don't know how it could be "fixed," but I do notice a part of my interest in a team goes away every year when I have to watch my favorite players get traded away or lost to free agency. It's just not the same when you see Diggs catching passes from Josh Allen or Adrian Peterson fumbling for someone else. If anything, I feel like I secretly want Buffalo or Arizona to do well, because that little part of me still wants to see them succeed. (Is that who AP plays for now? I lost track.)

 

Sometimes it's hard to rally around someone. Favre was a hard pill to swallow. I imagine it would be the same for Steelers fans, if Brady had gotten traded to Pittsburgh instead.

 

I hope Rodgers retires with GB. As much as I wish he'd disappear to the AFC South, I don't feel like a Vikings' victory over the Packers would be the same if Rodgers was in a different jersey.

[realm722]

On 1/28/2021 at 8:42 PM, Cassylvania said:

You know, it's occurred to me that I really should be reviewing the trophies of a game, rather than the quality of the game itself. After all, you can go almost anywhere to find out what people think about a game. Metacritic. IGN. Wikipedia. YouTube comments. The bargain bin at Walmart. But where can you go to find out if a game is worth your time trophy-wise? That should be my gimmick going forward.

 

Hahah I 100% agree with this. I mean, I 1000% think you SHOULD include what you think about the game. It'd be a disservice to completely ignore it's quality in favor of "yea the trophies were aight you should get this" if the game was just whatever. But one of the biggest reasons I love reading peoples trophy cabinets is saying how the hell they handled the platinium-tackling experience ESPECIALLY if it's someone who plays obscure / indie games with maybe a few hundred achievers at most. I know how to get the plat in Ghost of Tsushima. Everybody and their grandma has done it. But if you could include specific/tips/tricks or just how the overall experience was handled(was it surprisingly straight forward? did you suffer? can you alleviate the suffering of others by telling them a good order to do things? - specifically on a game with maybe 20 platinum achievers? 1000% would be a life-saver.

 

But yea! Hope you keep having fun with Slay the Spire(I know the Ascension grind is ROUGH and some of the parameters for the unique trophies without save scumming are brutal. But besides that I also see you're playing Aven Colony. I played it in January back at the start of 2020 and enjoyed it so hope you do as well! Has some neat futuristic characteristics. 

[Rally-Vincent---]

On 29.1.2021 at 2:42 AM, Cassylvania said:

You know, it's occurred to me that I really should be reviewing the trophies of a game, rather than the quality of the game itself. After all, you can go almost anywhere to find out what people think about a game. Metacritic. IGN. Wikipedia. YouTube comments. The bargain bin at Walmart. But where can you go to find out if a game is worth your time trophy-wise? That should be my gimmick going forward.

 

That would be a step backwards. I mostly skip trophy-parts of user reviews (only looking for the word "bugged). If someone rates a game, I'm interested in what they think about the game, not the trophies - and certainly not from random dudes on the internet who think anything that they don't like is some [label]-agenda "shoved down" their "throat".

 

 

[kingofbattle8174]

On football, I wait patiently year after year for it to be a good season. Things were starting to look up and then after one season with a new coach, the last two have been shite. I aslo hate seeing players that used to be a Bear on another team. I am hoping the QB situation is resolved and to get a few wide receivers. It seems we can nver have the balance of a good offence and defense at the same time. The last time the offense was really good Jay Cutler was the QB and both WR and the TE were over 6"3. We were like the # 2 offense but the defense stunk so bad we were never on the field. It is a sad time overall for Chicago sports, all of my teams are rebuild mode, except NorthWestern, which will be favs for Big 10 west for some time to come. 

[Cassylvania]

On 1/30/2021 at 5:51 PM, realm722 said:

But yea! Hope you keep having fun with Slay the Spire(I know the Ascension grind is ROUGH and some of the parameters for the unique trophies without save scumming are brutal. But besides that I also see you're playing Aven Colony. I played it in January back at the start of 2020 and enjoyed it so hope you do as well! Has some neat futuristic characteristics. 

 

I've had my eye on Aven Colony for a while. I'll save my thoughts for the review (since I will presumably have the plat soon), but I do want to say that I became a god in Slay the Spire tonight. I've been having a rough go with the game lately. Most of my runs have ended in disaster. I managed to beat the game with every character now, but some of the random trophies were giving me trouble. Until my last two runs. In the first run, I got Dropkick early and had enough remove card offers to get Minimalist (despite getting the time snail boss). That also helped me to get Purity (still don't understand the trophy requirements) and You Are Nothing, which I was worried about. (I actually would've gotten that latter trophy twice. ?) In the second run, I thought I'd try the next ascension with the same infinite deck strategy just for laughs, but it quickly flamed out when Dropkick was nowhere to be found. I had a Feed, which I had in my first run too, and I somehow made it to the donut boss, despite having almost no health for the majority of the run. That's four trophies...on a night when I was only trying for one!

 

I still don't know who I'll be taking to A20.

 

On 1/30/2021 at 6:07 PM, Rally-Vincent--- said:

That would be a step backwards. I mostly skip trophy-parts of user reviews (only looking for the word "bugged). If someone rates a game, I'm interested in what they think about the game, not the trophies - and certainly not from random dudes on the internet who think anything that they don't like is some [label]-agenda "shoved down" their "throat".

 

Fair enough. I just thought SotN was so bland that I was better off remarking on its trophies than its gameplay or story.

 

I'll have a lot more to say about my current active games, if I ever get around to finishing them. (Seriously, Big Game January became Big Grind January, and I still don't feel I got anywhere.)

 

On 1/30/2021 at 9:37 PM, kingofbattle8174 said:

On football, I wait patiently year after year for it to be a good season. Things were starting to look up and then after one season with a new coach, the last two have been shite. I aslo hate seeing players that used to be a Bear on another team. I am hoping the QB situation is resolved and to get a few wide receivers. It seems we can nver have the balance of a good offence and defense at the same time. The last time the offense was really good Jay Cutler was the QB and both WR and the TE were over 6"3. We were like the # 2 offense but the defense stunk so bad we were never on the field. It is a sad time overall for Chicago sports, all of my teams are rebuild mode, except NorthWestern, which will be favs for Big 10 west for some time to come. 

 

That's how I feel with the Vikings. Since Zimmer became coach, it's like they only know how to play defense in odd numbered years.

 

Who do you want QBing the Bears next year? (Assuming they don't have the goods to get in the Watson sweepstakes.)

[AJ_Radio]

On 1/28/2021 at 9:46 PM, Briste said:

I don't really agree with that. My first 'favorite' football team growing up was the Miami Dolphins, and I picked them solely because I loved Dolphins. I didn't know anything about football at the time, but if you'd have asked 8 year old me who my favorite team was, I'd have said the Dolphins. The only reason I actually became a Patriots fan was because when I actually started to take an interest in learning/watching football, that was the game on TV in my area every weekend. Well, I guess it was them or the Giants/Jets, but I hated NY teams because of the Yankees so it was always going to be the Patriots for me.

 

A lot of people pick their favorite team when they are young. If you aren't born into a family that roots for a specific team, you pretty much have carte blanche to pick whoever you want. My immediate family didn't watch football when I was a kid, so I had some freedom to pick whoever.A lot of people probably pick based on their geographic location, which is how I ended up following the Patriots as a kid (plus all my other teams were out of Boston) I was born into a Red Sox and Celtics household, so I didn't have much choice there. But when you're little, picking a team based on their mascot is not that uncommon.

 

My son has no idea what is going on on the TV, but he knows I like the Patriots so he'll root for them when they are on. If I'm watching another game, he'll always root for his favorite mascot. My Aunt was a Vikings fan because she liked the nickname 'Purple People Eaters'. My grandfather was a huge Bart Starr fan in college and ended up being a Packers fan even though we lived in New England. People who tend to pick their favorite team based on who has the best players are usually bandwagon fans or 'pink hats'. One of my good friends has a great saying 'You root for the laundry, not the name on the back of the jersey'. By and large I agree with that. I will always root for the Patriots, but Tom Brady has been my favorite player since he took over for Bledsoe. Because of that, I'll root for the Bucs if they aren't playing the Patriots...but the Bucs aren't my team. As Super Bowl champs or 7-9, I root for the laundry above all.

 

I'm not a big football guy, never was and probably never will be. Outside of a few players I watched in my youth; Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Jerry Rice and a few others, I didn't care enough about the sport outside of the Superbowl.

 

Some kids in my final days of high school and early beginnings at college got me into football somewhat. Followed the Seattle Seahawks to their Superbowl in 2006. Mike Holmgren, Shaun Alexander, Matt Hasselbeck. But it was never because of their mascot or their colors, in fact I thought they were stupid. As a baseball buff I was a big Seattle Mariners fan before they turned to shit. Ichiro Suzuki whom to this day is one of my favorite sports athletes, watched him play every other day for over a decade. Again, not because of the colors or their mascot. Their logo is pretty bland to be honest.

 

I've gone back and forth on sports. I'll be the first to tell you I love the hell out of Michael Jordan, but I cannot stand Lebron James. I wouldn't pay any money to see him in basketball court. That's a generation thing I guess, you probably saw more of Jordan than I did, but many kids love Lebron. I for one can't stand his character at all. Same thing with WWE. Don't like any of the new wrestlers. The Undertaker and The Rock, two of my favorite wrestlers ever, so there you go.

 

I come from a family that was heavily involved in sports, but my immediate family couldn't care less about it. There's been a lot less viewing since COVID-19.

[Grotz99]

On 2/2/2021 at 8:24 PM, Cassylvania said:

 

I've had my eye on Aven Colony for a while. I'll save my thoughts for the review (since I will presumably have the plat soon), but I do want to say that I became a god in Slay the Spire tonight. I've been having a rough go with the game lately. Most of my runs have ended in disaster. I managed to beat the game with every character now, but some of the random trophies were giving me trouble. Until my last two runs. In the first run, I got Dropkick early and had enough remove card offers to get Minimalist (despite getting the time snail boss). That also helped me to get Purity (still don't understand the trophy requirements) and You Are Nothing, which I was worried about. (I actually would've gotten that latter trophy twice. ) In the second run, I thought I'd try the next ascension with the same infinite deck strategy just for laughs, but it quickly flamed out when Dropkick was nowhere to be found. I had a Feed, which I had in my first run too, and I somehow made it to the donut boss, despite having almost no health for the majority of the run. That's four trophies...on a night when I was only trying for one!

Very nice job on those! As I've started to play the game, I've been thinking in the back of my mind what decks would be best to tackle those and will probably figure it out by the time I go for ascension 20. The other trophy that is going to be tough is beating it in under 20 minutes. I figure I'll have memorized the pictures enough to just play cards instantly and know what relics I have, but right now it's taking me over an hour per run. Routes will also make a big deal, as some I've had combat twice in an act and others I've gotten really unlucky with question marks.

[det_gittes]

12 minutes ago, Grotz99 said:

The other trophy that is going to be tough is beating it in under 20 minutes.

Just keep at it a little longer and you'll get it without problems, this trophy is actually much more forgiving than it may initially appear.

[Cassylvania]

4 hours ago, Grotz99 said:

Very nice job on those! As I've started to play the game, I've been thinking in the back of my mind what decks would be best to tackle those and will probably figure it out by the time I go for ascension 20. The other trophy that is going to be tough is beating it in under 20 minutes. I figure I'll have memorized the pictures enough to just play cards instantly and know what relics I have, but right now it's taking me over an hour per run. Routes will also make a big deal, as some I've had combat twice in an act and others I've gotten really unlucky with question marks.

 

I've thought about save scumming it. If you save at the start a run, figure out what cards/relics you can get and when, then it's basically like speedrunning any other game. Probably helps to have a build that can kill things quickly, though.

 

I had a pretty hilarious run last night on A6 with Barricade/Brimstone/Searing Blow +8. The latter two have obvious synergy, but being able to build up block every turn helps to negate the downside of Brimstone. It's too bad it's very unlikely you'll ever have the same deck twice. I would love to do that again.

 

I've decided to attempt A20 on Ironclad. I know Defect is probably easier, but I feel between Corruption and Snecko Eye, I'll always have at least one out when things get tough. Defect seems more like you actually need to know how to play.

 

The Watcher feels like playing four-dimensional chess.

[Cassylvania]

It's story time, guys!

 

Four little bitches were sitting around a campfire, having a gay old time. One of them, a spiky purple-haired twat named Lazarel, was downing his fourth pint of ale of the evening. The others were pretty sure he wasn't even of age to be drinking, but that didn't stop them from joining in the merriment.

 

"...and then the developers hid every weapon necessary for the trophy in a loot box with a virtual paywall, and you're just as likely to get a duplicate or random DLC weapon that doesn't even count for the trophy!"

 

The others burst out laughing. Milk came shooting out of Ventus' nose. Hugo, who looked just as young and baby-faced as the other two, began slamming his fist against the log he was sitting one when he remembered that people paid actual money for his game.

 

"That's nothing," Ventus said, wiping the milk-stained snot from his face. "My players have to play through my game THREE TIMES."

 

But Hugo was not to be outdone. "Well, they have to do mine six!"

 

"Wait. Really?"

 

"And I crash all the time!" Hugo threw his arms in the air to simulate an exploding firework and rolled over in laughter. The others joined in until they were red in the face.

 

"That's hilarious," Lazarel said. He poured himself a fifth pint and turned to his attention to the only member of the group who hadn't spoken up in a while. "What do you think, Spire?"

 

There was no response.

 

"...Spire?"

 

They turned their heads to their uncharacteristically silent companion, only to see a frozen look etched on the old man's face. The pointed metal tip of a blade was protruding through his chest. Slowly, the blade was withdrawn and the old man slumped over to reveal a very angry hollow knight standing in the darkness.

 

"It's over," I said. "You are all going to pay."

 

Platinum #239 - Slay the Spire

 

My experience with card games is limited to Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories (barely even a card game) and Frost, that quirky little indie game that is always on PS+ sales for like $0.69. I guess maybe that dice game I played a few months ago whose name escapes me right now, and that godawful mini game in the Shovel Knight DLC. But I'm partial to strategy games and I had no doubt that I would enjoy this. I just didn't realize it would be the most addictive game I've ever played. Every run is about an hour long (sorry, successful run), but I never found a good stopping place. If you win, you want to keep going. If you lose, you want to try again. If you're in the middle of a run...well, hell, you can't stop there. You'll forget what you were doing when you pick up the controller again. I blame whoever suggested this game for ruining my sleep schedule for the past four months.

 

Anyway... Yeah, one of the best games I've ever played. I don't even feel the need to explain why. I'm just going to check my stats right now.

 

Ironclad (27-111) 65 hours, Silent (6-21) 27 hours, Defect (4-9) 13 hours, Watcher (2-7) 6 hours.

 

I don't know if that's good or not. What I do know, though, is I have the platinum and I want to keep on playing. XCOM 2 is probably the only other game I've felt that way about. Usually, as soon as I see the platinum pop, I take the game out (sometimes before even closing the application), shove it back in the case, and delete it from my console. I may or may not hurl the case across the room. For this one, I just kinda sat there, not wanting to be done. I feel like I barely even touched the surface of what this game has to offer.

 

But, for this review, I can at least share some of my parting thoughts with you. Understand that this is a game that I think you have to become intimate with. It's not enough just to look at her Tinder profile for a few minutes and feel like you know her. She's a sophisticated woman. You have to take her on at least five or six dates before you can even begin to comprehend the complexities of...what the hell am I talking about? Let's do this shit.

 

I think a lot of players will struggle with this game initially because of preconceived notions of "builds" in RPGs. When you play something like WoW or Dragon Age, you pick your class and then select skills that are tailored to how you intend to play that class, like a frost mage or a tanky warrior. It's easy to fall into that trap with StS because the Ironclad, Silent, and Defect look like a warrior, rogue, and mage respectively, and they do have skills that suggest various ways to place them. Early on, you might think to yourself, "I want to build a shiv deck and play lots of cards every turn for 0 energy," but there are at least two major problems with that. First, the game seems intentionally designed for any one strategy to eventually fail. If your strategy is to prolong battles until you build up a lot of strength, eventually you'll encounter an enemy who can counter that. Second, you don't get to pick what cards and relics you find. Not really anyway. You have the option after every battle to pick one of three random cards, and you can technically buy one or several cards and relics from the merchant, but you're mostly having to deal with what the game gives you. That's the real Spire. The RNG. See, the strategy is there, but it's something you have to make on the fly. That sets it apart from other games.

 

What do I mean? So, a "game" is broken up into three acts. Each act has a boss, who is a chosen from a pool of three possible bosses, and every act has several elite fights along the way, who are also chosen from a pool of a possible three. You know which of the three bosses you're getting when you start the act (once you can recognize their image), but the elites are hidden from you. You can sometimes avoid them, but they drop valuable items, so it's usually suggested to go after them. The thing is, that's where most runs die. The elites are brutal and trying to take them on without a strategy can get you wrecked. Unfortunately, it's kinda like Dark Souls (here I go again) because you need to die a few times to understand what you're up against, but you'll learn from your mistakes.

 

So, just to describe the first act, there are three possible elites you can encounter: Tri-Sentinels, Crab Cakes, and Red Devil. Pretty sure those are their names. Red Devil gets stronger every time you play a skill, so you might be better off taking those big hits to the face so you can kill him quickly. Crab Cakes is a slower battle because he's asleep for a few turns, allowing you to set up powers or clever synergies. Tri-Sentinels fill your deck with garbage. The strategy you use on one will likely not work on the others, or at least not as well and certainly not as easily on higher ascensions. What you're trying to do when you build your deck is come up with a plan that can handle any encounter along the way. To that end, you shouldn't be taking the cards you want, but the ones you need. If something doesn't help you win these battles, you're probably better off skipping it.

 

Bosses, of course, are more of the same, but you have more time to figure them out. Your strategy that worked well against the Act 1 boss may not work against the Act 2 boss or the hallway fights along the way, so you're going to have to select cards that can do the thing you need to do, even if you don't like them or don't feel they fit your "archetype" (which is apparently a no-no word when it comes to this game). The WORST thing you can do, and how I did my A20 run because I'm stubborn like that, is try to force a particular "kind" of deck. For example, I really wanted a thin Ironclad deck with Rampage as my main damage card. The card gets stronger every time you use it, so my idea was to keep recycling it with stuff like Headbutt, Pommel Strike, and Battle Trance. That works well when you get it to work, but the game generally didn't offer me the cards I needed when I needed them. I would've been much better off dealing with the literal hand I was dealt. In fact, even when I was able to get Rampage as an early merchant card, I got Snecko Eye from the Act 2 boss, which made those low energy cards a lot less valuable. But that's OK too. Sometimes, especially in Act 1, you're just looking to survive. I lost a lot of early runs because I was too focused on building a dream deck, but a dream deck that can wipe out an Act 3 boss on the first turn doesn't do you any good when you're dead on the 21st floor. You have to be patient. You have to plan out your moves. Even something as simple as knowing when to drink a potion that raises your max HP by 5 can make or break a run.

 

Or, you know, just Corruption/Dead Branch your way to victory.

 

The trophy list isn't bad. I recommend just learning the game first because you're likely to get some of them without even trying. A couple of them seem really RNG-based, like killing the Transient (which requires not only encountering the Transient, but being able to do enough damage before he runs away), but you'll often stumble into a deck that does that thing perfectly. That's the beauty of the game. Like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.

 

Unless you're allergic to chocolate. Then I guess you're going to get hives.

 

Slay the Spire will give you hives.

 

That's my review.

[Rally-Vincent---]

20 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

 

Or, you know, just Corruption/Dead Branch your way to victory.

 

 

In over 100 hours, I got that combo exactly once.

[Cassylvania]

6 hours ago, Rally-Vincent--- said:

In over 100 hours, I got that combo exactly once.

 

Me too. There were even some relics, like Self-Forming Clay, that I never saw until I was almost finished with the game.

 

Anyway... We had a rare double plat day yesterday. I guess the trophy gods were feeling generous.

 

Platinum #240 - Aven Colony

 

If Slay the Spire is the standard for deck-building games (which does seem to be the case, considering how many clones there are out there), then Cities: Skylines is the standard for city-building games. And while I don't think Aven Colony comes close to meeting that standard, it's a decent game in its own right. If you're new to city-builders or don't want to spend 300+ hours waiting for a blue tornado to appear, then Cities: Skylines Lite might be just the game you're looking for.

 

There's probably a sandbox mode, but I don't see a reason to play that. You're mostly going to be navigating through a series of increasingly harder story missions that have you trying to create a fully functioning society in a futuristic alien world. You need to build mines to harvest for resources, grow crops and other weird plants for trade and manufacturing, and try to fend off shard storms and this nasty stuff called creep that will surely destroy your first city because you weren't prepared for it. The problem is, once you are prepared...there's really no challenge here. Every map can basically be tackled the same way. Probably on any difficulty. Food is VERY easy to farm (you're more likely to run out of storage space than inventory), a few turrets will take care of any external threats, and the only losing condition I know of (i.e. losing a referendum) isn't even a problem once you realize you just need to build an excessive amount of air filters to keep your people happy. Seriously, why do these assholes want to breathe so badly?

 

I don't really understand the mechanics of the game. You don't really need to. I'm going to assume it's more efficient to have tunnels connecting your buildings, but you could just stack buildings on top of each other if you want. In fact, it's probably better to have a condensed city because you can get by with a smaller amount of shared resources. I very rarely expanded out past the starting area, except on the one or two missions that required it. The only reason to would be to build additional mines or geothermal generators, but you'll probably finish the mission before your original mines are tapped out and you can just as easily generate electricity by using solar panels. You need 200 of them for a trophy anyway.

 

Speaking of trophies, there's a speedrun trophy for some reason and another for beating a map on the highest difficulty, but I did them both on the first map on my first try. The rest will probably come naturally or with little effort on your part.

 

There's a story here, but it's not worth mentioning.

 

The voice acting is okay. I honestly wasn't listening to it much.

 

This is one of those rare sims that I think can be beaten in under 20 hours, but I probably spent a little longer than that on it. You guys know the formula I use to judge what a game is worth, but I think $20 might be a tad too high for a game that doesn't have a whole lot of extra content after the first two or three missions...so I'd honestly wait for a sale or even for it to be offered for free on PS+. It feels like something you'd get for free on mobile.

 

Is that too harsh?

[Cassylvania]

Three little bitches huddled together in the forest. They had been running for a while now, but they thought they were safe.

 

They were wrong.

 

"Laz, did you always have that sword sticking out of your face?" Ventus asked, shortly before his purple-haired friend fell to the ground.

 

Ventus was not very bright.

 

Platinum #241 - Dragon Quest Heroes II

 

...

 

I don't even want to review this one.

 

...

 

...

 

Just look at those smug assholes.

 

Teresa is there like, "You came to the wrong neighborhood, bitch."

 

...

 

...

 

While Laz is like, "We're gonna fuck you over so bad."

 

...

 

...

 

God, I hate them...

 

...

 

...

 

There are better ways to spend your time, guys. You could take up pottery. Maybe a sport. Maybe binge Games of Thrones again.

 

They make coloring books for adults, you know.

 

...

 

...

 

Go away. There's a monster at the end of this book.

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

...

 

Fine. We'll do this.

 

You want to know every way in which this game will waste your time? Let me count the ways.

 

First, you have to kill the “wanted” version of every monster in the game. These are rare spawns that only appear after you've been killing the normal version of monster in that area for a while, and they’re much stronger. Some of them can kill you in one shot. Others take forever to appear because they only have one spawn point on the map, so you have to keep killing it and coming back until you get the “wanted” version. And there over 150 of these. Gotta kill 'em all.

 

But don't worry. That's the least of your problems. You're going to have to kill every monster hundreds of times anyway because each of them has a very low chance of dropping a monster medal, which lets you briefly summon that monster in battle. Yeah. You're gonna need one from every monster in the game for a trophy.

 

But you know what? That's not a problem either because you'll need to kill tens of thousands of monsters anyway to get every weapon to level 20 proficiency. This is when the game starts getting stupid. To point things into perspective, the cap for proficiency is 15 until you beat the main game. When I beat the main game, I had only one weapon maxed out. Oh, and it takes longer to go from 15 to 20 than 1 to 15. AND there are more weapons than characters in the game, so you'll have to cycle through them. Which is fine because you need every character in the game to “puff puff” you, which is…I don't know, a Dragon Quest thing, but it’s basically a random cutscene that can happen when you talk to a character on your team after you’ve been using them for a while, but only after you beat the main game. Nobody knows why it happens. Nobody knows why it exists. But at least it's easier than it was in DQH1.

 

That's the last nice thing I'll say about this game. Because all of that pales in comparison to Well-Armed. 

 

This fuckin' trophy requires you to obtain every weapon in the game. How do you do that? First, you have to buy every weapon the merchant has in stock. The most expensive variety of each weapon costs over 250k gold. You can sell them back, which is nice, but you're going to lose a massive amount of money each time. Second, you need to buy every weapon from this giant duck with the most annoying voice I’ve ever heard. But he doesn’t take gold. He takes mini medals, which are MORE rare drops from enemies. Even if you take advantage of the fact that mini medals are refunded to you in NG+, you still need something like 500 of them to buy every weapon. Then there are some weapons that can only be found in chests. (Don’t worry – you have to open every chest anyway for another trophy.) You get other weapons from completing quests. (Yup. Trophy for doing all those too.) But that’s not even the worst part. Did you think I was done? Let’s talk uber weapons.

 

Every weapon has an uber version. You cannot buy these. These are a RANDOM reward at the end of SOME dimensional dungeons. Follow me with this one. First, you have to unlock the dimensional dungeons. These get progressively more difficult, but only the harder ones give the rewards you want. The easiest dungeon I found to farm was Bad Guys' Base (mainly because you're only fighting trash mobs, even if some of them can turn invincible for a while). IF you win (because it's not a guarantee, even if you're max level), you’ll be given one of a few possible rewards. The one you want is a would be weapon.

 

"But wait, C-Dawg," you say. "I thought we wanted an uber."

 

The game doesn't care what you want. Welcome to the middle finger lottery. Step right up, ladies and gentleman, and witness the pure gamble that comes from turning a would be weapon into an actual weapon! Only 50k a ticket. Yes, the game charges you FIFTY THOUSAND GOLD to “appraise” a would be weapon, which then has a CHANCE of becoming an uber weapon. That's maybe a bit too harsh. It actually has a really good chance of becoming an uber weapon. The problem is twofold. First, it could become a giga weapon. What the fuck is a "giga weapon," you ask? It's nothing. It doesn’t even count for the trophy. It's just a DLC weapon for a DLC character for the multiplayer that nobody plays. And there are a bunch of them. Almost as many as playable characters in the game. That's right -- all your favorite scrubs from DQH1 are back to take your ubers away. The second problem is THERE IS NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM GETTING DUPLICATES. GUYS. GUYS. WHY IS THIS A THING?

 

I AM NOT EVEN DONE.

 

Think you can scam the system? Think you can save scum to get the weapon you need? Did you SEE Teresa and Lazarel's face up there? They drink your gamer tears. I didn't even know this was possible, but the seed is set before you EVEN PICK UP THE WOULD BE WEAPON. Let me reiterate: your "random" reward is pre-determined. If you do Bad Guys' Base three times, get a would be weapon each time (unlikely, since you can also get trash), appraise all three to see what you get, and then restart the game, you'll get the same three weapons in the same order if you do it again. So, with something like 16 ubers in the game and a bunch of useless gigas, your odds of getting a weapon you need begins to diminish fast. And just to REALLY rub salt in the wound, you have to appraise weapons IN THE ORDER IN WHICH YOU RECEIVE THEM. So, even if you know the first three are duplicates, you can't check the fourth one until you pay 200k (150k for the first three + 50k for the fourth).

 

There is a solution. It's a terrible one, but it exists. It’s called Maze of the Mighty. Maze of the Mighty is a dimensional dungeon that usually (but not always) gives you something you need for an uber weapon from a character in your current party. Notice I said “something you need.” It's not a would be weapon. You get a shard or an essence. Now, an essence is essentially the same thing as a would be weapon, except you actually know what the end product is (eg. a card essence will give you an uber card, a greatsword essence will give you an uber greatsword, etc.). Still gonna cost you 50k a pop, but at least you can jump right to appraising it. A shard is the game's way of giving you a partial middle finger because you need five shards to make an uber. Why? This games hate you. And if you’re thinking the game loves to give you four shards for a weapon before dropping an essence on you, you are correct. It also loves to give you an essence of the one character on your team who does NOT need an uber (which will be Meena, because you're not going to do MotM without a healer).

 

The problem, because you know there is one, is MotM is locked behind a ridiculously hard dimensional dungeon called Lair of the Dark Master. Your AI partners are useless here. I haven't even talked about the combat in this game, but your party of four is basically a party of one. They’re either standing around doing nothing or standing around taking shots to the face. Multiplayer is theoretically an option, but let’s be real. Nobody is playing DQH2 online in 2021. I'm not even sure they were when this game came out.

 

But it's doable on your own. I did it. I unlocked MotM, and…did you think it was going to be easy? MotM is three randomly-chosen dimensional dungeons in a row. The first one always seems to be a normal battle, but the second and third are usually bosses. And yes, you can get the LotDM boss, which might as well be a game crash because you're not beating that a second time. In fact, there were several battles where I'd just let myself die, such as the one on the rooftops that takes 45 minutes to complete.

 

I know you guys would prefer hearing my opinion of a game over its trophy list, but here's the thing: there is nothing separating this from DQH1. From what I can tell, they just used the same engine and character models. Most of the cast is from previous games (I assume, since every one of their intros plays out like a undeserved wink and nod to the player), and the plot around the two main characters is so bland that I didn't even realize the "twist" was supposed to be a twist because I assumed that was the story all along.

 

The game looks nice. I'll give it that. And since this is a Japanese game, by tradition, we have to choose our waifu. Now, Bianca was my girl in the original and she's technically still here, but you can only use her in dimensional dungeons...which you'll be wanting to do with the main cast, for the reasons I stated above...so I'll reluctantly go with Meena. It's not a hard choice. She has one of the best ranged attacks in the game, a spell that can lower an enemy's defense, and the all-important group heal. She also has purple hair. Just don't put her on the same team as Maya because you'll have a hard time telling them apart in the heat of battle.

 

In short, if you're getting the itch to play a DQ game, just play DQXI. That game was amazing. I gave it my GOTY award the only year I did those awards. Or play DQ Builders. Or its sequel. Very fun games. Hell, play DQH1 if you're getting really desperate. Just don't do this. Be better to yourself.

 

Time to platinum: 190 hours.

 

Have a "Cry some more" stick!

Edited February 23, 2021 by Cassylvania

[WishingLemon]

You put me off playing this with the first paragraph. The rest was the sprinkles on the turd cake.

[Rally-Vincent---]

It sounds like a ridiculous plat. I have to admit, my interest in JRPGs has diminished over the years because so many have grind-for-grind's-sake grind in it. But then I play a game like Cyberpunk 2077, and most of the side stuff I did in Act 1 is a group of enemy NPCs grouped in a building or around a loot item.

 

It has to mean something when the game I enjoeyed most in the last six months was a VN - 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim.

[Cassylvania]

9 hours ago, WishingLemon said:

You put me off playing this with the first paragraph. The rest was the sprinkles on the turd cake.

 

Hopefully the last paragraph did it too.

 

9 hours ago, Rally-Vincent--- said:

It sounds like a ridiculous plat. I have to admit, my interest in JRPGs has diminished over the years because so many have grind-for-grind's-sake grind in it. But then I play a game like Cyberpunk 2077, and most of the side stuff I did in Act 1 is a group of enemy NPCs grouped in a building or around a loot item.

 

It has to mean something when the game I enjoeyed most in the last six months was a VN - 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim.

 

Looks like you both are working on that. I actually bought it not too long ago. Just haven't gotten around to it yet...

 

Well, if you haven't looked at my profile and gasped in horror lately, you'll notice I decided to start both an XCOM clone (Phantom Doctrine) and a Dark Souls clone (Lords of the Fallen). I can see why reviews are mixed on both. I probably like them a bit more than the average person because I'm willing to look past flaws in genres I love, but both games really dropped the ball when it comes to combat (PD because it actively discourages it and LotF because it's like playing encumbered all the time). Fortunately, I don't think they're going to be as long or as hard as the games they were inspired by. We don't need another DQH2 on our hands.

 

I haven't decided whether to tackle KHBBS or Ys Origins next. I kinda knew it was just a matter of time before I beat Slay the Spire or DQH2. It was simply a question of how many runs it would take. With KHBBS and Ys Origins, though... I really don't know. I'm not particularly good at the challenges they present. I think I can probably beat Mysterious Figure with Terra (I did it with Aqua without too many fails), but Ice Cream Beat may be beyond my skills. I can't do rhythm games. It helps that my tinnitus seems to be gone, but I can't blame that for all my struggles.

 

Ys Origins is just bullshit.

 

We'll need more good indie games to keep us occupied in the meantime.

[Rally-Vincent---]

4 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

Well, if you haven't looked at my profile and gasped in horror lately, you'll notice I decided to start both an XCOM clone (Phantom Doctrine) and a Dark Souls clone (Lords of the Fallen). I can see why reviews are mixed on both. I probably like them a bit more than the average person because I'm willing to look past flaws in genres I love, but both games really dropped the ball when it comes to combat (PD because it actively discourages it and LotF because it's like playing encumbered all the time). Fortunately, I don't think they're going to be as long or as hard as the games they were inspired by.

 

Phantom Doctrin's is an espionage game, so being able to do stuff with some Agents with the actor perk without combat is a cool element, I think. The campaign isn't as long as XCOM 2's. It just feels long, as the map variety isn't that great. What worked best for me was taking out their bases/cells rather than preventing their missions. Less tedious fights that way. When I think of it, games like that really would benefit from random map generation. That would keeps things fresh, because non-story missions can drain the fun out if the combat isn't thrilling.

[Copanele]

4 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

 

Well, if you haven't looked at my profile and gasped in horror lately, you'll notice I decided to start both an XCOM clone (Phantom Doctrine) and a Dark Souls clone (Lords of the Fallen). I can see why reviews are mixed on both. I probably like them a bit more than the average person because I'm willing to look past flaws in genres I love, but both games really dropped the ball when it comes to combat (PD because it actively discourages it and LotF because it's like playing encumbered all the time). Fortunately, I don't think they're going to be as long or as hard as the games they were inspired by. We don't need another DQH2 on our hands.

Lords of the Fallen won't be as bad as...what even DQH2 is  but the first level is the best part of the game. It gets gradually worse the more you play, the DLC is absolutely trash and the final boss...better just glitch it through the wall like everyone else does. It's a broken ass boss that just one shots you on NG+ onwards no matter of your build. You can beat him legit but by the time you reach the end you'll be tired of the game anyway.

Reason why this game is UR is because not many bother to do 3 playthroughs of this turd.

Edited February 21, 2021 by Copanele

[Arcesius]

I'm here to say two things. First, even though it sounds like you had a terrible time with whatever that game is you just platted, I really enjoyed reading the review ? There are games that despite the horrible RNG-heavy grind are still so good that you don't notice time passing. This doesn't seem to be the case there ?

 

Secondly, Lords of the Fallen.. I also belong to that group of people that actually had "fun" with the game... or rather, kept making fun of the game as I was playing it ?. As @Copanele mentioned, it just gets worse and worse, and the bosses just all feel the same. But the worst part definitely is that piece of garbage they released as DLC... ? Holy hell that is so freaking bad it's not even funny. 

The studio unfortunately has a poor track record when it comes to DLC.. they also released the "Complete Edition" of The Surge and when they noticed that they needed more money (for The Surge 2), they released yet another reeeeeeally bad DLC, removed the "Complete Edition" from the store and started selling the "Augmented Edition" instead. It was a really shitty move, and the DLC was so fucking bad it made me mad. But the LofF DLC is still worse ?

 

Anyways I'm curious.. have you tried the Ys Origin Boss rush yet on Nightmare or whatever? Did the game crash for you yet?

[realm722]

On 2/20/2021 at 2:52 PM, Cassylvania said:

Platinum #241 - Dragon Quest Heroes II

 

 

But don't worry. That's the least of your problems. You're going to have to kill every monster hundreds of times anyway because each of them has a very low chance of dropping a monster medal, which lets you briefly summon that monster in battle. Yeah. You're gonna need one from every monster in the game for a trophy.

 

"But wait, C-Dawg," you say. "I thought we wanted an uber."

 

The game doesn't care what you want. Welcome to the middle finger lottery. Step right up, ladies and gentleman, and witness the pure gamble that comes from turning a would be weapon into an actual weapon! Only 50k a ticket. Yes, the game charges you FIFTY THOUSAND GOLD to “appraise” a would be weapon, which then has a CHANCE of becoming an uber weapon. That's maybe a bit too harsh. It actually has a really good chance of becoming an uber weapon. The problem is twofold. First, it could become a giga weapon. What the fuck is a "giga weapon," you ask? It's nothing. It doesn’t even count for the trophy. It's just a DLC weapon for a DLC character for the multiplayer that nobody plays. And there are a bunch of them. Almost as many as playable characters in the game. That's right -- all your favorite scrubs from DQH1 are back to take your ubers away. The second problem is THERE IS NOTHING STOPPING YOU FROM GETTING DUPLICATES. GUYS. GUYS. WHY IS THIS A THING?

 

I AM NOT EVEN DONE.

 

Think you can scam the system? Think you can save scum  to get the weapon you need? Did you SEE Teresa and Lazarel's face up there? They drink your gamer tears. I didn't even know this was possible, but the seed is set before you EVEN PICK UP THE WOULD BE WEAPON. Let me reiterate: your "random" reward is pre-determined. If you do Bad Guys' Base three times, get a would be weapon each time (unlikely, since you can also get trash), appraise all three to see what you get, and then restart the game, you'll get the same three weapons in the same order if you do it again. So, with something like 16 ubers in the game and a bunch of useless gigas, your odds of getting a weapon you need begins to diminish fast. And just to REALLY rub salt in the wound, you have to appraise weapons IN THE ORDER IN WHICH YOU RECEIVE THEM. So, even if you know the first three are duplicates, you can't check the fourth one until you pay 200k (150k for the first three + 50k for the fourth).

 

I know you guys would prefer hearing my opinion of a game over its trophy list, but here's the thing: there is nothing separating this from DQH1. From what I can tell, they just used the same engine and character models. Most of the cast is from previous games (I assume, since every one of their intros plays out like a undeserved wink and nod to the player), and the plot around the two main characters is so bland that I didn't even realize the "twist" was supposed to be a twist because I assumed that was the story all along.

 

Cassy... Cassy... Cassy... the entire time I was reading this all I could think was "You did it to yourself!! You played the original DQ Heroes in 2015. I can't save you if you don't wanna be saved" and my lord... I knew the DQ Heroes 2 platinum was rough, but good lord - seeing the sheer amount of content, combined with the fact you managed to do it in close to 2 months - while in the 100% fastest completed category there are people who completed it in 1-2 weeks (someone check in and make sure those people are okay). Damn near 200 hours doesn't even compute for me unless it was multiple people on 1 account taking turns. 

 

When I read "random reward is pre-determined" I'm now convinced these games are some devilish plot by developer Omega Force to torture completionists. That's genuinely vile. But the real kicker was for me at the end to read that next to nothing has changed from DQH1 except for some enhanced visuals. It really is, were the 60 hours for the 1st game not enough for you? Here's 200 more. If anything, I'm glad it gave us one of your best rant post reviews yet and you always get a hearty chuckle out of me whenever you drop a sudden "C-Dawg" in them. Hopefully you take it easy on the multi-hundred hour games for now(I'm glad you loved Slay the Spire as much as I did tho) and enjoy a few more leisure experiences. Hell, maybe play a few way more difficult games that are far shorter would be great switch-up for the monotony. I'm gonna try taking on Furi soon enough since I picked it up cheap for $5, and while I'm scared I'll get my ass kicked we can suffer together(you've def collected a resumé lengthy enough for me to say you can handle it)

[Cassylvania]

On 2/21/2021 at 5:26 AM, Rally-Vincent--- said:

 

Phantom Doctrin's is an espionage game, so being able to do stuff with some Agents with the actor perk without combat is a cool element, I think. The campaign isn't as long as XCOM 2's. It just feels long, as the map variety isn't that great. What worked best for me was taking out their bases/cells rather than preventing their missions. Less tedious fights that way. When I think of it, games like that really would benefit from random map generation. That would keeps things fresh, because non-story missions can drain the fun out if the combat isn't thrilling.

 

Yeah, Actor perk + stealth seems to be the way to go. But in that case, I think Invisible, Inc. did it better, since the whole game was built around the stealth mechanic (something I usually hate in games). I think it's OK. I'm glad to hear the campaign isn't very long because I don't think it's going to hold my interest as long as XCOM.

 

On 2/21/2021 at 5:48 AM, Copanele said:

Lords of the Fallen won't be as bad as...what even DQH2 is  but the first level is the best part of the game. It gets gradually worse the more you play, the DLC is absolutely trash and the final boss...better just glitch it through the wall like everyone else does. It's a broken ass boss that just one shots you on NG+ onwards no matter of your build. You can beat him legit but by the time you reach the end you'll be tired of the game anyway.

Reason why this game is UR is because not many bother to do 3 playthroughs of this turd.

 

I've found ways to cheese most bosses. ? My favorite was the Guardian, who was a total asshole to fight normally. The downtime they gave you between attacks is...bad. Like, enemy design overall is bad. Bosses are just reskins of other enemies, who are in turn reskins of each other. They're all just dudes in armor (a complaint I always hear about DS2, even though I thought the variety was fine).

 

I'm almost done with my third playthrough. Kinda taking my time because I missed a few trophies on the first two playthroughs (like the potion upgrade, which probably would've been useful on NG+), and I really don't want to risk a fourth run.

 

On 2/21/2021 at 2:58 PM, Arcesius said:

Secondly, Lords of the Fallen.. I also belong to that group of people that actually had "fun" with the game... or rather, kept making fun of the game as I was playing it . As @Copanele mentioned, it just gets worse and worse, and the bosses just all feel the same. But the worst part definitely is that piece of garbage they released as DLC...  Holy hell that is so freaking bad it's not even funny. 

The studio unfortunately has a poor track record when it comes to DLC.. they also released the "Complete Edition" of The Surge and when they noticed that they needed more money (for The Surge 2), they released yet another reeeeeeally bad DLC, removed the "Complete Edition" from the store and started selling the "Augmented Edition" instead. It was a really shitty move, and the DLC was so fucking bad it made me mad. But the LofF DLC is still worse 

 

I'm probably going to end up in the same group as you. I liked the game for maybe...the first six hours or so? The dip in quality after the first area is REALLY noticeable. I didn't even bother with the story in the second half. I have no clue who these characters or are why it matters. Harkyn doesn't seem to care either. I just gave him the voice of Lennie from Of Mice and Men in my head and run around screaming, "I WANNA PET THE RABBITS, GEORGE!" as I hack through enemies. That's the only way I can enjoy this game.

 

And yes, that's something I do often.

 

On 2/21/2021 at 2:58 PM, Arcesius said:

Anyways I'm curious.. have you tried the Ys Origin Boss rush yet on Nightmare or whatever? Did the game crash for you yet?

 

I tried it a few times. It crashed once or twice, but I couldn't get by the second boss anyway.

 

3 hours ago, realm722 said:

When I read "random reward is pre-determined" I'm now convinced these games are some devilish plot by developer Omega Force to torture completionists. That's genuinely vile. But the real kicker was for me at the end to read that next to nothing has changed from DQH1 except for some enhanced visuals. It really is, were the 60 hours for the 1st game not enough for you? Here's 200 more. If anything, I'm glad it gave us one of your best rant post reviews yet and you always get a hearty chuckle out of me whenever you drop a sudden "C-Dawg" in them. Hopefully you take it easy on the multi-hundred hour games for now(I'm glad you loved Slay the Spire as much as I did tho) and enjoy a few more leisure experiences. Hell, maybe play a few way more difficult games that are far shorter would be great switch-up for the monotony. I'm gonna try taking on Furi soon enough since I picked it up cheap for $5, and while I'm scared I'll get my ass kicked we can suffer together(you've def collected a resumé lengthy enough for me to say you can handle it)

 

Furi is in my backlog. I'm not sure how high up it is right now. It's kinda in that same pool as Sundered, Flinthook, and Risk of Rain, which are all fairly short (?) but somewhat difficult indie games that are supposed to be really good.

 

I opted to do Children of Morta first because it's shorter and easier than the rest of those.

 

And if you're wondering why I did DQH2, despite knowing what I was getting myself into...honestly, I liked DQH1. I don't mind mindless button-mashers. I can watch movies or work on other things while chipping away at some of the more annoying trophies out there. It's actually the games that require the most attention, like multiplayer and story-driven ones, that give me the most trouble because I'm not able to multitask. Probably why I make typos a lot. And why I submitted this post ten minutes before I was finished. I get distracted very easily.

 

What was I saying?

 

Oh, yeah. Bianca was cool.

Edited February 23, 2021 by Cassylvania

[Cassylvania]

Hey, look. I get to compare yet another game to Dark Souls...

 

Platinum #242 - Lords of the Fallen

 

Gather around, my friends, and let me tell you the tale of Harkyn. Harkyn was a simple man. He liked cosplaying as Kratos and having the personality of a stale biscuit. His favorite line was, "I don't care," which wasn't too far off what the writers were thinking when they came up with the plot of this game. When asked why his game needed character builds when all Harkyns play the same, Harkyn just grunted and said, "Me swing sword or me swing bigger sword!" And when you have trophy names like No time for losers, Real men don't need a map, and This! Is! Keystone!...well, he who wields the biggest sword wins.

 

Let's be clear. This is not a great game. It's obvious they were trying to mimic Dark Souls, and I think if you go into this game expecting it to be like that and on that level of polish and design, you're not going to have a good time. The maps and enemies are all very similar. There are maybe...twelve bosses in the game?...and most of them play just like a larger version of the trash mobs you're used to fighting. They're also not very good boss fights. It's hard to explain, but have you ever watched a really bad movie? I'm not talking Catwoman or Jack and Jill or just about anything Nicolas Cage has been in since National Treasure. I mean the movies that barely qualify as movies, that look like something a high school student would make in his backyard with a couple of his friends. Stuff like Birdemic. You watch it and you notice things that are just off. Things you just expect and take for granted in a movie by any competent director. For example, you wouldn't see a 30 second shot of the protagonist getting out of his car and slowly walking up to a restaurant. That would be called fat and it would get cut.

 

Well, Harkyn is fat. Sorry, but he is. There are so many things in this game that have the right idea, but the execution is off. It doesn't help that they tried to imitate a game that walks a very fine line of being too cryptic and unforgiving. If you're going to take anything from the Souls series and put it in your game, it has to start with the design. Harkyn...it kinda does the same thing as Dragon Age 2, where it forces you to play as a premade character (with a very similar name). They give you the option to choose your class (warrior, cleric, or rogue) and your magic tree (not sure what their names are, but it's basically warrior, cleric, and rogue again), but none of that feels necessary. I played a faith build the first time and it was terrible. Just go strength and two-hand a greatsword. You can kill every enemy in the game by running at them and pressing R2 twice. There. I got you your platinum.

 

If you want to play it slightly safer, do the same thing with a shield. Shield charges will break the only enemy that will give you trouble in the game (namely, the dudes with shields). Once you realize THAT, the game...actually, it's not bad.

 

You can't play it like a Dark Souls game. You have to play it like a God of War game. Forget the builds and the magic and trying to figure out how the checkpoint/potion refill thing works. You just gotta strap on your big boy pants and be reckless. I actually screwed up pretty bad on my third playthrough. I ended up not having enough faith to use the Prayer spell to glitch out the final boss. That meant I had to fight the final boss for real (and for the first time). Didn't matter. Didn't even matter that I had to kill him with an extremely weak DLC weapon, despite the fact that he would heal himself constantly. Why? Because just like Dark Souls, you eventually master the game's combat and mechanics, and that felt surprisingly good. It helps that the second R2 swing of a greatsword does like 500+ damage when you have a strength build.

 

You play this game for the same reason you watch a really bad movie. It's to marvel in its awfulness. And yet, I don't think I'd put myself in the "so bad that it's good" camp. I legitimately liked the game. It's not an 8 or 9 out of 10 or anything, but it was short enough to be inoffensive and I thought the visuals and audio were good, even if the story and core mechanics were subpar. I'd compare it to a blind date where you both mutually agree that you shouldn't see each other again halfway through the night, but you still want to finish the date because you paid for these reservations and you start to find yourself having a good time once the tension of trying to build a lasting relationship is over.

 

The DLC sucks.

Edited February 27, 2021 by Cassylvania

[Copanele]

Hah nice outtake of Lords of the Fallen  loved reading that. Now that I read your impressions, I think the greatest gripe with the game is ...I can't remember at all what the game was on about. It's not a "The room" level of videogame, but more like one of those B rate movies that you utterly forget and struggle to remember the plot. Except the DLC of course, because DLC sucks.

 

I played as an assassin and the game was even easier, believe it or not. Yes, equipped the same huge ultra mega greatsword that did ultra mega damage, but there were 2 skills, one where you became invisible and did even more ultra great damage with one strike, and one where you sent your shadow and kablam-ed the enemy/boss/poor barrel for stupid amounts of damage. Game is God of War-ish through and through.

On 2/26/2021 at 7:02 AM, Cassylvania said:

Well, Harkyn is fat. Sorry, but he is.

They really went literal with that "fat rolling" mechanic  

[Cassylvania]

19 hours ago, Copanele said:

I played as an assassin and the game was even easier, believe it or not. Yes, equipped the same huge ultra mega greatsword that did ultra mega damage, but there were 2 skills, one where you became invisible and did even more ultra great damage with one strike, and one where you sent your shadow and kablam-ed the enemy/boss/poor barrel for stupid amounts of damage. Game is God of War-ish through and through.

 

I always forgot about magic. The only spell I ever used was Prayer, and it didn't work right half the time. I heard Mimic was supposed to be really good, but it just seemed to make more sense to pump all your attribute points into Strength...

 

Anyway, they say good things come in threes, so here you go.

 

Platinum #243 - Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy

 

OBJECTION! This is not a 40 hour platinum. I mean, maybe if you're using a walkthrough, but this one took me many, many nights over the past seven months...

 

This is a hard one to review. If I were to rate a game on each of the major categories (e.g. graphics, music, gameplay, etc.), this would be one of the lowest games on my list. Everything it does, outside the plot of each episode, is very limited. Phoenix and his friends have only about four cycles of animation they go through, the sounds get very repetitive, and the few elements of gameplay that are here...are actually kinda annoying. Like, why is there no way to speed up the cursor when performing an investigation? Why are some rooms only accessible by visiting other rooms first? Why is there no autoplay option so you can read through the dialogue without having to press X all the time? Why have penalties that send you all the way back to the beginning of a trial -- or your last save -- if you fail? (That last one deserves to be asked twice.)

 

I'm new to this series, but that's not something I'd usually accept in a point-and-click or a visual novel, and this game (or trilogy, rather) straddles the line between both. So, why then, did I enjoy it? The characters help. Maya is great. I liked Gumshoe. The dialogue can get kinda corny sometimes, and it does that thing where it switches from being kid-friendly to showing a graphic murder very quickly (making me question who their target demographic was), but there's enough personality poured into each character to at least make the stories interesting. The cases are...kinda all over the place. There were several times where I thought I knew who the killer was, only to realize there was another four hours and nineteen twists to go, and most of them are at least plausible...once you're willing to accept that they're going for House M.D.-levels of wacky coincidences and unrealistic situations.

 

I don't know, guys. I think this is a game that's best played a couple of hours each night. I'm not sure if a guide is necessary. On one hand, I think you can figure out 90% of the game for yourself, but the fact that you can easily get stuck or sent back to an earlier save because you overlooked something or tried to solve a Psyche-Lock too early or showed the wrong piece of evidence at the wrong time makes me think maybe it's better to resort to a guide so you can just relax and enjoy the story. And it is a good story. I found myself invested in these character, even if their sprite animations are some of the most limited I've seen on the PS4.

 

Price seems right. You get three games for $29.99. They all play basically the same, but there's enough here to keep you entertained all the way to the platinum. Plus, look at these gorgeous faces.

 

Edited February 28, 2021 by Cassylvania

[Darling Baphomet]

16 hours ago, Cassylvania said:

I don't know, guys. I think this is a game that's best played a couple of hours each night. I'm not sure if a guide is necessary. On one hand, I think you can figure out 90% of the game for yourself, but the fact that you can easily get stuck or sent back to an earlier save because you overlooked something or tried to solve a Psyche-Lock too early or showed the wrong piece of evidence at the wrong time makes me think maybe it's better to resort to a guide so you can just relax and enjoy the story. And it is a good story. I found myself invested in these character, even if their sprite animations are some of the most limited I've seen on the PS4.

 

Yeah, that's basically what I did when I played them as a kid. The games definitely show their age considering they're probably well over ten years old now. They were fun when I played them on the DS, but even then they had GBA graphics compared to the modern games, namely Apollo Justice. I hope we get the sequels on PS4 because I've played the first three to death. The Edgeworth investigation games were pretty fun too.