Popular Post realm722 Posted February 12 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 12 Game: Uncharted: The Lost Legacy (Action (Complex), Open World Big Boy) Analysis: I bought the physical copy edition of Uncharted: The Lost Legacy - Playstation Hits Edition for $19.99 well over 2 years ago! Why Uncharted: Lost Legacy? Up until this past month, I had never played a video game developed by Naughty Dog. I know, I know, revoke my PlayStation membership. It's sacrilege. For someone who enjoys video games as much as I do, I have a surprising amount of blindspots in my repertoire. I've never played a Soulslike or Bioware game either. My justifications for never playing a Naughty Dog game aren't very good. I never jumped on the Jak train during the PS2 and her an Xbox 360 instead of a PS3 when the early Uncharted games starring Nathan Drake burst onto the scene in the late 2000s. I was familiar with The Last of Us meteoric rise as a gaming darling for all audiences and vividly remember watching Chris Smoove's Let's Play of the games ago. But even as Uncharted 4 and TLOU2 came and went... I never bothered to hop on the train myself. That is... until I bought Uncharted 4 as part of 4 games for $20 deal a few years ago (I also managed to snag Arkham: Knight, Dragon Quest Heroes, & Final Fantasy XV). I loaned the game to my mom (pandemic time she decided to get into gaming) and she absolutely loved Uncharted 4. So much so, that she wanted more of it. Hence, I recommended here Lost Legacy. She also loved it. She then loaned the game to me and since this didn't have asinine 70+ hour DLC trophies like U4... I figured what the heck, why not pop my Naughty Dog cherry and give it a whirl? Holy Crap Those Graphics - My immediate impression upon booting up the game and seeing Chloe Frazier in all her wonderful digital glory was... damn... this is one of the big boy games. I don't play these games SUPER often. I'm an indie game preferrer by and large and while I've dabbled with my FF7 Remake and Batman Arkham games, you don't have to be a video game aficionado to realize a lot of the games I play aren't known by your typical everyday player. I say all this to say that not for a moment while playing did the game's drop-dead gorgeous graphics ever lose their luster for me. Holy crap man. I know that graphics aren't everything but good golly when they are incredible you can't help but pause every now and then to appreciate the unbelievable amount of effort it must have taken to make a game LOOK this good. Even while never having played a Naughty Dog video game, I am well aware of the criticisms of its "Uncharted climbing" having contaminated the gaming industry and plugging itself into other games at the sighing and bemoaning of many players. I'm sorry. I have no doubt that after 15+ years of seeing this sort of climbing, it must get old for some of you. As a person who has never really played many games with it aside from the Horizon franchise, I'm not bored by it whatsoever. It just gives you some time to appreciate what on earth these women are doing and the precarious ancient civilization ruins they're treating like a kindergarten playground right now. Naughty Dog Hits Different - Even while having played none of their games, if you asked me to describe a Naughty Dog Uncharted game, the collection of words that would spew out of me would probably be some combination of the following. #1. Third-person shooting. #2. Amazing setpieces. #3. Witty banter with your companions. #4. Awesome graphics. Without fail, I can comfortably say that Lost Legacy fulfills every single one of these expectations I had before playing and then some. How is the voice acting this elite? It didn't take long for me to love Chloe and her banter with Nadine while wandering about the jungle in our jeep in Chapter 4. THE HAIR PHYSICS, MAN. I love how the game has such a wide variety of animations for functions such as basic as getting in and out of your jeep or while climbing or while shooting out while undercover. So many games have dialogue or cutscenes between characters where you're just sort of zoning out because it's stilted or unengaging and yet Chloe/Nadine felt like two characters actually... yanno... on an adventure together. I know that this must come across as unusual gushing praise because everybody and their mother has played these games already (quite literally, my mother had and I hadn't) but even something as simple as hiding out in stealth in the bushes and seeing Nadine take the initiative and subdue the enemy before I could even react boggled my mind. AAA games are an easy piñata for gamers when they don't live up to expectations but I hope my untainted enthusiasm for this game shows how much you can love these experiences when you dodge the discourse and appreciate them for what they are, even if you do so well over 5 years since their initial release! Oh, A Blind Man’s Crushing Experience (Pt. 1) - There's a reason I've waited this long to talk about the actual gameplay. You see, before deciding to officially play the game, I did a brief perusal of the trophy checklist and saw that a playthrough on the hardest difficulty possible (Crushing) was necessary for a gold trophy. The trophy guide informed me that even while this option was greyed out, I could select it and experience this difficulty on my 1st playthrough. For whatever reason, likely out of hubris, I thought to myself "how hard could this game even possibly be?" and dove head-first into the game without a second thought. The early portion of the game was remarkably pleasant. The prologue is brief and introduces you to the setting in India and some brief interactions with a young merchant girl. Chapter 1 sees you navigating the dangerous streets as the military is out and about being narcs. I very much felt the tension in the lockpicking sequence and Chloe's sigh of relief once inside. Of course, once you get up to the roof, you'll be greeted by a few armed guards who will try and escort you out. Chloe resists. Fighting ensues. This was my "Welcome to the NBA" moment for crushing difficulty because GUYS I WAS STUCK THERE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AS CHLOE GOT HER ASS KICKED OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 2-3 punches to the face and she was out like a night light. Eventually, I jammed my way through, Nadine and I kicked ass, and we proceeded onward. After taking a few ziplines down and fleeing Asav's men's gunfire, I was already in Chapter 3 and thinking to myself: "Damn I'm flying through this game" unaware of how many chapters there actually were. In Chapter 3, I experienced my "oh... so this is what the gunplay's like" and uhh guys... I'm sorry, I couldn't do it. I had to turn on the accessibility setting for "lock-on aim". Because if I didn't, I'm convinced I'd still be stuck on getting through Chapter 4 as of the time I write this rather than elaborating this review. Of course, turning on lock-on aim doesn't make the game a cakewalk either. You no longer have to worry about aim but there's still a LOT of other problems to deal with. Don't get cornered by heavy artillery. Guns are scarce with bullets. Enemies actually act like humans rather than droneless mobs who can't see a shadowy human figure moving in front of them. While this fight wasn't so bad with lock-on, my struggles would become much weightier as I progressed. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I died on this helicopter fight. It must have taken me well over 2 hours to finally beat it and the relief I felt knowing the checkpoint after hooking onto it was pure bliss. Oh, A Blind Man’s Crushing Experience (Pt. 2) - I want to take a moment to talk about Chapter 4 in Lost Legacy. This is such a bloody cool chapter. Up until now, the game has essentially been on rails with shockingly little combat and largely passing through wonderful vistas. I didn't mind this whatsoever. Yet Chapter 4 all of a sudden expands the scope and gives you this super intimidating open world map with a variety of main and side objectives to engage with in any order you please. Of course, once I got familiar with the game, the map was much smaller than it appeared to be but that initial: "holy crap" sensation still resonates with me. I was honestly making steady great progress here on my own. I went to two of the fortresses and got into a few random battles but managed to get through unscarred well enough aside from dying a handful of times. I scooped up the 11 Hoysala tokens scattered about the map. I was really just enjoying the game at this moment and Chloe/Nadine's banter as I soaked in all of the lovely landscapes. aaaaaaand then I went to the Trident Fortress. Good LORD man. This bloody fight. I was stuck here for well over an hour. I have "Waiting for Cobra 8" tattooed on my brain. Look at this scared and terrified footage of my play style as I tried to go stealth but didn't know how to escape after the reinforcements came in. Whoever put the bloody checkpoint BEFORE opening that door with triangle deserves punishment. I finally managed to scrape my way through with a sniper gun barely holding 3 bullets and some clutch grenades to take out the heavy's. After blazing through the first handful of chapters, I felt like an entire lifetime had passed in Chapter 4 before I moved onto Chapter 5. Oh, A Blind Man’s Crushing Experience (Pt. 3) - Chapter 5 was a joy to play just because it felt like I had stepped into a totally different world after the open-world unendingness of Chapter 4. The entire start of the chapter is super chill and just climbing insane landscapes with Nadine while navigating those old ruins and escaping a flooded fortress. I was stuck for a good minute on the outskirts of Halebidu with all those guards due to confusion and a lack of firepower. It wasn't THAT bad though. Where things did get rough for me was the Chapter 6 introductory APC fight after Nadine punched the shit outta Chloe. I died there a lot. 45+ minutes worth of attempts. It felt like the guards were infinite. I eventually got through by plucking off all the enemies and hiding like a coward until the APC was left. When the reinforcements came in I nearly crapped my pants but survived and the relief that came over me when Chloe let out her: "I think we're all clear" was indescribable. Chapter 7 had elephants and I love elephants. The sniper fight was a tad annoying but I finally started getting comfortableble on Crushing at this moment and figured the key was use cover to my advantage, maximize the guns made available by enemies, and with enough persistence I'll eventually breakthrough the barrier. Of course, we get the tusk, we lose the tusk, Asav goes Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain, we run into (SPOILERS) Sam Drake which I imagine is a huge deal for Uncharted 4 fans but as somebody who never played that game I was like oh hey it's Troy Baker! Chapter 8 has that annoying fight in the cave where Nadine exposes you both and I died there for a solid 30 minutes but nothing.... absolutely nothing... can compare with that Helicopter fight. I've literally documented my final successful attempt after multiple hours of failure. I refused to lower the difficulty. I refused to lock up any tricks/tips/playthroughs on how to get the job done. I died so much. I tried stealth. Too slow and too risky for how many attempts I'd need. I tried taking out all of the enemies and planting C4. My C4 aim never let me reach the helicopter and blow it up all at once. With the RPG, I had to get to a safe distance, fire, make sure it got damaged enough where I could get zipped up, and finally, mercifully, the magical run came together and I survived. Hardest fight in the game bar none. Chapter 9 on the jeep and train was a breeze by comparison and I loved the finale with this gang of characters and all the insane things they've been put through. The Game is Better On Crushing Difficulty - Having documented my harrowing experience, I've come to the conclusion that Uncharted is best played on Crushing. What the hell Realm, are you drunk? While I undoubtedly got frustrated at times when stuck on certain sections, having then breezed through a variety of the chapters and encounters on a lesser difficulty, I can't help but feel like the stakes for the oddly sparsed fights are what make the game MEMORABLE. Do you know how you can increase your appreciation for Uncharted climbing sequences? By knowing that whenever you're doing those, you're AVOIDING AN AGONIZING FIGHT TO THE DEATH GUNFIGHT INSTEAD. Every advance in a fight felt earned and the quieter sections in between whether it be puzzles or simple straightforward walking narrative-focused elements were enhanced by my appreciation of being there rather than fighting for my life. This doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the combat. I honestly did. The gunplay is fun. Juggling guns on limited ammo is a meta-game in and of itself and figuring out when to use your heaviest damage for the strongest enemies is all part of the equation. I do feel like the rope could have been used even more in some arenas but rarely if ever would have taken advantage of it knowing Chloe's fragility and limited health when under fire in the open field. All I know is I will have several lasting memories of specific encounters in this game that rare few other games have left me with long after I've booted it up for the last time. AIM FOR THE BUSHES CHLOE!!!!!!!!!!!! A Light-Hearted, Life-and-Death Adventure - I wanted to touch on this aspect of the game because I've seen a few criticisms regarding Uncharted by other players and I think it goes to show how your mentality going into an experience can have a huge influence on how you engage with it. Chloe Frazier and Nadine Ross are superheroes. The stuff they do in this game is absurd. They parkour through dusted ruins like it's just another Tuesday and slay hundreds of men without grappling with any remorse over their actions. And even after slaying the 500th guard of Asav's army, they still have time for witty banter amongst one another. It's a light-hearted, life-and-death adventure. You're out here with your gal pal off to do the impossible and obscene. Asav also knows his role in this story. He is hilarious. This man will straight-up box you in Chapter 5 and his guards decide to stand to the side jerking off instead of helping the boss out. At the end of Chapter 7 when he has you guys dead to rights, rather than just shooting Sam and Nadine in the head (which he does if you just bump into him 4 times in a row) he leaves y'all to drown knowing the epic last-second escape is a -10000000 favorite? If you try to treat this plot or narrative super critically, you're going to have a bad time. There's a hundred holes to poke. But, if you're like me, and you just wanna see some cool ladies ball tf out in stunning environments, there's not a game on the market that does it better. Collectibles, Miscellaneous, & Combat Trophies - Here are the stats at the end of my 1st blind crushing playthrough. After 10 full hours, I had defeated nearly 700 men and needed to restart a checkpoint after dying 150 times during the course of my run. Relieved to finally be able to play on a difficulty aside from Crushing, I quickly went through and gathered many of the combat-specific achievements such as performing 10 combo partner takedowns. I then went through chapter select and scooped up a number of the treasures, optional conversations, and photos I had missed. This video helped a ton with that. While this part didn't take too long, I honestly think a game such as this could do without collectibles in the way they're currently implemented. After that, I focused on the chapter-specific missable trophies and those didn't take too long whatsoever either. All I had left was "The Way of the Warrior" which means firing no guns or using any explosives through the first 4 chapters. On Explorer difficulty, this is hilariously easy. Asav's guards make stormtroopers look like snipers by comparison with their aim and Chloe's ability to blitz melee them to death like she's prime Lawrence Taylor. I had done it! I earned the 20.02% rarity platinum in 2 weeks and 3 days. I Get Why These Games Are Popular - While I sympathize with those who tire of a specific AAA-game formula, having never played one of these, I GET how these games became THE ones that got so much love and made Uncharted the brand it is today. It's the elite voice acting from the likes of Claudia Black & Laura Bailey. It's the bombastic all-you-can-eat buffet-style setpieces that leave an imprint on you. It's the remarkable amount of detail found in the animations that view other studios can replicate. While I'm not making any promises, the old remastered Uncharted games starring Nathan Drake have gone from a "probably never" to "maybe one day" bump in my backlog category. Would I recommend Uncharted: The Lost Legacy? Absolutely. Even if you've played the mainline franchise plenty, enough time has elapsed since Uncharted 4 that I think you could reminisce all over again with this formula in case you skipped over it when it released in 2017. If you're like myself and never give these games much thought, I urge you to reconsider. This is a fantastic entry point given it's small-scope and once you know what you're doing, you could honestly speedrun this game in less than 3 hours in all likelihood. I'd highly recommend you play the game on Crushing for your 1st playthrough as well as simply going through it after having experienced it once won't do the game justice when you can just summon an RPG or Silenced Pistol into your inventory whenever things start to get a bit hazy. Hope y'all have had a solid day post-Super Bowl hangover and we'll have 1-2 more reviews before I disappear to my FF7 Rebirth bunker and emerge a full month later in late March. Panda Score: 8.35 / 10 Panda Difficulty: 6.21 / 10 (played on Crushing 1st time completely blind) Spoiler Uncharted Lost Legacy 4-Jan-2024 * My 1st ever Uncharted game on Crushing difficulty LETS GO BABY!!!!! * talking to young Indian girl who got left by father who joined the army * bro playing on crushing first meele fight died 5 times hahaha really crushing * I quite like Chloe * lmao Chloe opening the door cuz I took too long with the lockpick * died a bunch at the jungle fight, thankfully turned on lock-on aim and finally got past CRUSHING * I’m enjoying exploring this open-ended world in chapter 4, pure jungle wilderness, collecting hoysala tokens, occasional combat * Voice acting between Chloe and Frazier is sensational * Okay i died A LOT on the Trident Fort level like a stupid amount * nice subversion with the lever breaking there * Chloe saying “no one does love” to Nadine saying she doesn’t like to fail >>> * Okay i am REALLY impressed Nadine took out a guard silently on her own post-fort * OKAY I DIED SO MUCH JUST GETTING OUT OF THAT DAMN FORT GOOD LORD * Nadine talking like Chloe’s dad wasn’t dead * expensive as heck decoy city gilgamesh * loool i died twice escaping the temple chapter 5 “LINE” nakeyjakey * loool fighting asav chapter 5 other guards just decided to chill * getting throufh THAT CHAPTER 6 FIGHT APC ON CRUSHING WAS INSANE * i love elephants * mirror puzzle in chapter 7 and more damn fights k * final fight in chapter 7 annoying as heck man crushing is crushing my soul * I love Asav’s refusal to kill us instantly what a good guy * LOOOOL him doming Sam after I faffed about too much * Asav watching dumbass Chloe taking foreve to figure out this puzzle * choosing to drown us instead looool aight asav * NADINE FIGHT IN THE CAVE CHAPER 8 WOOF FINALLY DONE! * Beating that Helicopter fight on Crushing without any help or reveiws was one of the hardest things I’ve done * just crashed a truck into a train awesome * oh hey there’s asav! * I just died cracking up at Asav 1-2 punchinh us to death over and over again * wow very pretty final train crash into the river * What a lovely light-hearted life-or-death adventure! Genuinley! I love the campiness * Write about knowing this going in, having the correct mentality, enjoying the insanity * “We just did a thing.” Hell yea Chloe. AND we did it on CRUSHING! 1st try! * Cool to say I finaly played a Naughty Dog game man, that was quite enjoyable * I love the skip cinematic feature playing thru chapter select for treasures 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Platinum_Vice Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 Can't believe you haven't played a Naughty Dog before this... that's crazy! While there are some games that I think are best played on higher difficulties, I think that Uncharted games were made for the experience of the lower difficulties. The enemy AI and dialogue is built for brief stop-and-cover moments in between run-and-gun mechanics, not to mention the tone of the games, but I also did enjoy Crushing mode too. I think that Uncharted 4 is the best of the series... you could spend $10 to upgrade your U4 game to the Uncharted Legacy of Thieves Collection. Then you get the PS5 upgrade with no DLC trophies. It comes with Lost Legacy as a strange DLC trophy list but they can be autopopped. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copanele Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 Ha! Finished this one recently too and yup it was a blast! I do think too that the Uncharted games are juuust a bit better on a lower difficulty, especially the old ones. Hard difficulty feels like the sweet spot, the AI doesn't have that insane aim but you can't tank every single bullet either There was another difficulty level above Crushing in the first 3 Uncharted games though, called Brutal, thank the Dogs they didn't add it here! That one is straight out unfair. And yeah...this game was beautiful...utterly gorgeous. I never use photo mode in games, well this one made me search for the Photo Mode button combinations 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassylvania Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 On 2/12/2024 at 4:46 PM, realm722 said: While I'm not making any promises, the old remastered Uncharted games starring Nathan Drake have gone from a "probably never" to "maybe one day" bump in my backlog category. And when you do -- and inevitably go for the 100%, because we know you will -- I expect you to do Brutal difficulty (one step above Crushing) on all three games legitimately. To this day, my greatest gaming achievement. So, so many deaths... That said, I agree on Crushing being the ideal difficulty for these games. At least it adds a sense of realism in an otherwise ridiculous game. You actually played my least favorite in the series, despite Chloe being arguably the best character. I hear they might be remaking the first game...? If so, you could play that and then jump to UC2, which is universally considered the best game in the series, I think. UC4 is good too, but you already know that. TLOU when? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted February 14 Author Share Posted February 14 On 2/13/2024 at 1:34 AM, Platinum_Vice said: I think that Uncharted 4 is the best of the series... you could spend $10 to upgrade your U4 game to the Uncharted Legacy of Thieves Collection. Then you get the PS5 upgrade with no DLC trophies. It comes with Lost Legacy as a strange DLC trophy list but they can be autopopped. Mate... you're a legend for this. I can't believe I didn't even make that connection. You can't even buy Lost Legacy as its own game anymore unless you buy it physical but I didn't realize this would be a great way to get to experience Uncharted 4 while avoiding that eternally painful DLC. Thanks a million! On 2/13/2024 at 2:18 AM, Copanele said: I do think too that the Uncharted games are juuust a bit better on a lower difficulty, especially the old ones. Hard difficulty feels like the sweet spot, the AI doesn't have that insane aim but you can't tank every single bullet either There was another difficulty level above Crushing in the first 3 Uncharted games though, called Brutal, thank the Dogs they didn't add it here! That one is straight out unfair. And yeah...this game was beautiful...utterly gorgeous. I never use photo mode in games, well this one made me search for the Photo Mode button combinations I didn't even know it could get more difficult than Crushing. That's hilarious. You die sooooo quickly in this game if you're slightly exposed. There was one hilarious bit that I didn't mention when you're fighting Asav on the train during the climactic finale of Chapter 9. Asav straight-up wombo combos Chloe in 2 hits and she goes collapsing to the floor and the checkpoint is RIGHT before it and I just kept dying over and over again while laughing my ass off. 17 hours ago, Cassylvania said: That said, I agree on Crushing being the ideal difficulty for these games. At least it adds a sense of realism in an otherwise ridiculous game. You actually played my least favorite in the series, despite Chloe being arguably the best character. I hear they might be remaking the first game...? If so, you could play that and then jump to UC2, which is universally considered the best game in the series, I think. UC4 is good too, but you already know that. TLOU when? Wow. I've read that a fair bit here on the forums and have seen the game frequently mentioned as the worst. Again, maybe this is the benefit of it being my personal first and not having experience with the ebbs and flows of the Uncharted formula yet. Chloe's incredible. I'm very tempted to wait for that remake... I've heard from people here and there that Uncharted 1 isn't just old/out-of-date it's just outright bad and the 2nd game is really where it made its leap to superstardom. I will play the Last of Us when they remaster it for the PlayStation 6. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted February 19 Author Share Posted February 19 Game: Speed Limit (Arcade / Action (Simple)) Analysis: I bought Speed Limit when it was on sale for $1.49 back in early September 2023 and I'm happy to say it was a fairly decent time! Why Speed Limit? It's funny, before writing this post, I got @'d on another member's status update because somebody was trying to track down a post they vaguely remembered regarding some freak deciding to track where all the video games he's played have been developed. This is of course relevant as back when I made the original map post (now 1 1/2 years old), I had never played a game from a developer out of Croatia. Back then, I wishlisted a bunch of games available from a variety of countries I hadn't tapped into yet, and as time went on, those games mixed with one another and my memory of why I added them to the wishlist in the first place faded. Still, when you see a game on sale for less than $2, I don't exactly need much convincing to pull the trigger on it. All I truthfully knew going in was the intro that said "Play. Die. Repeat" and boy, they sure as hell weren't lying. Learning to Die A Lot - Speed Limit is a game intended for the player to die a lot. Checkpoints are relatively close to one another and almost all enemies die in one hit. The catch is, so do you. This means a lot of practice in learning how to get past specific obstacles will be necessary. Speed Limit's neat trick is that every 2 levels, it switches modes of transportation. In the first 2 levels, you'll be on foot and blasting through an onslaught of enemy fire. Then you'll jump into a car. After navigating mayhem for 2 levels, you'll switch gears to a motorcycle. This was one of my favorite sections. After the motorcycle, you'll somehow end up in a helicopter, and after the helicopter, a fighter jet. Each of these pose their own challenges. As you're just learning the mechanics of the game and the various routes, I found the first two with one-'n-gun-firing enemies to be quite challenging. Especially since you're being shot at from the left, right, and up above. The car section can be tricky before you know the patterns but once you do and slow down when driving into on-coming traffic, you'll be fine. The motorcycle is fun as hell and you can blaze through the levels in 3 minutes max once you know what the hell you're doing. Helicopter feels like the slowest of the lot and is kind of the most laborious to get through but it's probably one of the easiest sections. Finally, the fighter jet has a remarkably confusing initial level because.. even after having beat the game a few times... I still don't know what the heck I'm doing? If I'm accelerating all the time, the other jets never catch up and just shoot? So I need to purposefully slow down hard enough for them to pass me, and then shoot them? Aight I guess. The final boss can be tricky at first but there's a trick I'll explain later on how to beat him with ease every time. Miscellaneous Trophies - As always, I would be remiss if I didn't shout out some of the helpful aides for getting the side trophies in the game. @greenzsaber made a fantastic concise full walkthrough for the platinum and I also enjoyed BasementGamerBro's direct individual trophy videos. After beating the game and each level on Easy, I focused on a few of unique playstyle ones such as the Blue Steel trophy which asks you to beat the final boss only moving left. I then focused on the Normal mode trophy which will likey lead to A LOT of deaths. I tried to do this on my 1st attempt aiming for the speedrun and uhh... nah. I hadn't even killed the final boss yet, I was at 45 minutes, game crashed, so I'm at least thankful that it didn't screw me out of a great run. Some trophies that could be annoying include "Wicked Shot" which asks you to kill an enemy with every bullet fired in Level 1. Thankfully the level is super short, but the part where you reach all the knife guys in trenchcoats at the end kept tripping me up a bunch until I just went much slower and made sure I took out the gun guys in the rear before getting all those dudes on me. Clearing out the two levels with the helicopter without dying will take a few attempts. The most annoying part for me was this one straightaway with a carrier with like 3 guns. The key to killing it is holding down R2 until all the guns are blown up. I kept letting go and firing, letting go and firing, and that simply wasn't quick enough to take them out. With all the small trophies outta the way, I only had the two big boys left. The 30 Minute Speedrun Trophy - A 30-minute speedrun of a game to completion sounds awful but due to the nature of the game, many levels can be completed in just 1-2 minutes. The initial difficulty in Speed Limit is found in not knowing what's coming next. Once you've gotten familiar with the levels, it becomes much easier to muscle memorize what motions are needed to get through a particular phase. For example, Level 2, which involves run-and-gunning above the subway, had me DYING A LOT on my 1st attempt due to not knowing the order of how to duck/jump over the sign boards. But this time around, I had died enough to remember the pattern and breeze through it. When you die is also relevant. Some checkpoints are so close that dying a handful amount early on doesn't cost you much. Going 1-2 minutes and then dying and getting reset though? That can do some damage to your total. I was honestly making phenomenal time this run finishing Level 9 at just over 17 minutes & 30 seconds... and then I began to choke. Quite frankly, I didn't know the proper strategy to evade the circular honing missiles that come out during the latter stage of the final boss fight. I had lucked my way through on prior playthroughs. Here's the winning strategy: hold the stick RIGHT if the missiles come from the LEFT cannon. Hold the stick LEFT if the missiles come from the RIGHT cannon. That's it. It's a bit embarrassing it took me that long to figure out. Anyways, I was so pissed at myself you literally see me pause at (26:15) and debate restarting the run ALREADY thinking I had screwed myself... but I continued. I won, died on Terminal Velocity, got through it, and then still holding the stick left for the most agonizing last few seconds finished the run with literal SECONDS to spare. What a rush! Thankfully, the trophy popped and was in the bag. Infinite Mode & Lack of Polish - All that I had left for the platinum was completing two runs of the game on Infinite Mode. I hadn't originally intended to save this for last. What happened was I tried to go for this BEFORE attempting the speedrun, in order to better memorize the levels, but literally 1 1/2 runs into the trophy, the game crashed on me during the Level 6 motorcycle rush. That section can be a bit buggy as your motorcyclist can just fly all over the map with the lightest touch of the stick. The game crashed on me 3 other times which is quite obnoxious since you can never quit out and save your run, they need to be completed in one setting. Mercifully, I was spared on my 2nd attempt here but it was 40min down the drain. I also very unfortunately began experiencing the dreaded.. awful.... worst thing ever for a gamer... stick drift, on one of my controllers. I honestly had started to feel it a bit while playing Uncharted: Lost Legacy but this game made it extra painful due to the shooting mechanics on the early levels. I will have an extremely detailed post on this latter on in the month because I have a lot to say on the subject and seek to help others afflicted. I mention it here because it'll be a lasting memory in my time with the game. I earned the 7.69% rarity platinum in 2 weeks, 7 hours. A Small Team Based out of Croatia - I've gotta say, while this game isn't exactly revolutionary, I was quite happy to see a small-time indie studio from a small European country put out such a sound product minus a few polishing issues. Their website for the game is remarkably detailed and worthy of praise. While I'd argue a game such as Super Time Ultra Force provides a more holistic experience of proper full levels and side content with unique mechanics, Speed Limit is the streamlined, speedrunified, version of that. While you'd be surprised by some of the games developed out of the country (such as Doodle Jump), the list isn't super extensive. I've owned Zotrix for years. never played it. I considered "I Hate Running Backwards". I debated Serious Sam. Ultimately, I'm happy with what I settled on. Would I recommend Speed Limit? Perhaps. I enjoy these sorts of games. I enjoy a repetitive task that you need to refine and get better at. This game is that formula to a tee. Tricky, difficult to get right, but once you do, you can quite literally blaze through the game in 20 minutes. That's not for everybody. But if you want to try a game from a former state of Yugoslavia, you can't do much worse than this. I hope everyone is doing well. NFL Season is over and the Chiefs hoisted another Super Bowl which I'm happy with. If the Dolphins can't win it, I just hope the team that wins it all the time keeps winning so I don't get jealous. Heat are 30-25 and enjoying the All-Star Break. I'm looking forward to the Marlins season even if my expectations aren't that high. I've been watching some banger Cinema lately in the form of Boyhood and Memories of Murder trying to complete Bong Joon-ho's filmgraphy. I also have some other obsessions I've been getting into with one I'm particularly going to hone in on this very thread down the line. I hope it'll be as interesting for y'all as it's been for me. Oh, and to top it off, Rebirth at the end of the month. Life's pretty great at the moment. Panda Score: 6.62 / 10 Panda Difficulty: 3.11 / 10 Spoiler Speed Limit 2-Feb-2024 * Oh this is one of those arcade games… uh oh * Failed the speed run with a crash but was already like 15min over oh well * Game has crashed on me 3 times and mid-infinite mode run ugh… * BEAT 30MIN TIME BY 6 SECONDS BABY * Alright next attempt didn’t crash and * Write up entry and YouTube speed run attempt stick drift 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted February 22 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 22 Game: Emerald Shores (2D Platformer) Analysis: I bought this game when it was on sale for $1.24 back in late May 2022. They never did accuse me of rushing to get through my backlog. Why Emerald Shores? Listen, there's not a very complicated reason why Realm back in relatively early 2022 decided to pull the trigger on this. It was less than $2 and had a fairly reasonable platinum rate at <40%. That's about all I needed to buy games on sale back in the day. Why I waited until NOW to play it is a different story. Sitting at 248 platinums, without any purposeful design or machination on my end, I've stumbled into landing a pretty important milestone (250th platinum) for a pretty massive release around the corner in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. I have pre-ordered the physical copy of the game. I know, you shouldn't preorder anything in 2024. Especially when you don't know what the quality is for so many modern releases. Guess what? I'm not worried. This is FF7. Square Enix's baby. They're not going to botch this. Maybe older fans hate some of the alterations that may come with the story. I'm not worried about that. I'm not an older fan. I'm a new fan. Somebody who literally played the remake back in 2021 and fell so brutally in love with it that my gigantic review and essay permanently altered the way this thread would be run by myself going forward. In order to make that game be within striking distance of that milestone, I needed a filler game to bridge me over to 249 to be on its doorstep. Emerald Shores was that bridge. Before All Else, An Impressive Solo Project - I'm going to be perfectly honest with you all and say that I had written a completely different paragraph here before realizing a few things regarding this game. 1) Who made it? 2) Oh, they're not as far off as they appear. I mention these things because at first glance, this is a game that most people aren't going to write a very lengthy review on. I don't say that to be mean, I'm just being honest. The game has 4 user reviews on Steam. That made me curious. I did some digging, and realized this wasn't so much a small indie studio making it but.. the developer has an itch.io profile where you can check out his latest work. Then I actually went digging through the forums and discovered oh hey... the developer has an account on here. Hi @Josh1billion. Oh. Geez. Maybe that not-so-nice-stuff I said kind of comes off as REALLY dickish if you know the person who spent time on creating something may stumble upon reading it? Not that this guy would read this. We're in the real deep crevices on the internet here. But it made me realize hey... there are probably developers out there who read awful things written about their creations and it's not... cool. Listen, REGARDLESS of the quality of a game, the fact an individual can create anything that can get published on Steam & PlayStation 4 & Vita is pretty damn impressive. I could never imagine being asked to make a video game. Let alone making it, and then putting it out there in the world for people to enjoy and critique. So with that newfound realization, I figured I'd talk about some stuff I observed while playing the game, and maybe if the dev is bored, he can read what an odd fella thinks about it? Let's do that. A Curious 2D Platformer - Emerald Shores keeps things light on the story and thrusts most players into the meat and potatoes of the game, moving left to right. You choose levels like you're on an open-world map in a retro Mario game and have no attacks. You kill enemies by goomba-stomping them. This feels pretty decent. Most enemies won't pose too much of a threat unless you're playing very haphazardly. There are multiple special items and some secrets you can unlock throughout the levels such as different endpoles to unlock other side paths with different trophies and side quests. None of these are too long. The most exasperating thing I found was... the very odd way the double jump works in the game. You can pick up a green double-jump power-up that lasts as long as you don't die. Yet, it's a bit odd? If you hit a roof/ceiling, you can't double jump anymore. Before I realized this, it felt like the double jump was broken or working inconsistently. Once I accounted for it, it wasn't too tricky to adjust. The levels are appreciatively short so you can fly through them once you know what the hell you're doing. I found the boss fights to be fairly decent for the limited moveset given to the player character. Bounce on their heads 'til they die and stay out of the line of fire when they're angry. The game also has a bit of a meta-game element where you recover all of your health when you level-up. This gives you some incentive to decide when to hold off killing certain enemies / killing coins if you're low on health so you can finish it rather than being reset to the beginning in case you die. All in all, it's a decent little time that while I hit a few roadblocks here and there, I never actively disliked my time with it and figured with enough attempts, I'd get good enough to move onwards. How I Got the Platinum - As always, the legend @greenzsaber has a full platinum guide to earn it in just a hash over an hour. Of course, I was not good enough to earn it in that narrow timeframe. It took me quadruple that based on how I kept dying in certain parts and not being nearly as familiar with the game. Not to mention I missed the collectible helmet on the snow-sled portion in level 2-2. I've gotta say, this was pretty good trophy selection by the developer. There are no missables as you can replay levels. When you're going for your low-level 8 run, you can blast through many of them and have it done in less than 20 minutes. There are a few decent miscellaneous trophies in some levels such as collecting all the coins or avoiding ever being touched by lava. Oddly enough, I kinda liked that Farmtreprenaur mini-game dev. It was very simplistic but... you could build off that. It's a bit cookie-clicker lite but with a few more bells and whistles you could turn things strategic. I earned the 31.25% rarity platinum in 4 hours and 51 minutes. Would I recommend Emerald Shores? Perhaps. It depends on your tastes. There are worse 2D platformers out on the market. I liked the movement and how fast you can glide through levels once you know what you're doing. If you know the odd rules for double jump, you shouldn't have too much frustration figuring out to navigate things. Not to mention, the game kindly only saves after you complete a level so I loved that if I died with the power-up, all I had to do was close the application, open it back up, and I could try again with the green double-jump power still active. I don't know if the dev is still reading this, but if they are, lemme know if there are any more games are on the horizon. I see Super Blackout but it appears to be a Vita-only game. I enjoy supporting small creators and if you have any plans to bring more games to PlayStation main consoles, I'd love to check them out as long as the platinum isn't too difficult or long-lasting. Panda Score: 6.02 / 10 Panda Difficulty: 3.47 / 10 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted February 23 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 23 I Got My Ph.D. In PS5 Controller Stick Drift So You Don't Have To (How To Fix It) WARNING: This post is going to be exhaustive. I didn't want it to be that way. It needed to be that way. You or a loved one could become stricken with stick drift in the future. If that unfortunate day were to arrive, I want you to come here. I have all the answers and can guide you on the path to enlightenment that I had to create by my own hand. I didn't choose this path. It chose me. Enjoy. MY HISTORY WITH STICK DRIFT - I truthfully can't quite remember when the term "stick drift" entered my subconscious. I was too young, too naive, or blissfully unaware of it during my days of playing on Xbox 360. During the PlayStation 4 era, I never had an issue with either controller despite further research informing me controllers began having this issue during the PS4 era. More than anything, I was VERY familiar with the Nintendo Switch and its Joy-Cons have stick drift up the wahzoo. It's so awful that they got sued for it. Then the lawsuit was dropped. Then they didn't do anything about the issue. While some countries may offer free repairs, inevitably in the future, they will end these services when they introduce their new console and the Switch fades to the ancient relics of the past. That sucks for Switch owners. Sadly, other console players who thought they would be immune to the side effects of big corporate Nintendo experienced in real-time the first-world modern-day equivalent of "First they came for...." (this is facetious, y'all) STICK DRIFTS HITS HOME - Early on in the PlayStation 5 life cycle, I heard some murmurings about some players having issues with stick drift remarkably early on after first getting the console. I was skeptical. This issue had never affected me personally. It seems odd for a new controller to go defective so quickly. I dismissed such claims as one-offs and unfortunate defects as part of a new console generation. I bought my PS5 in late September / early October 2021 and gleefully enjoyed virtually no issue with either of my controllers for the first year and a half. I'd rotate each of them down to little battery and then swap them out while charging the other. This system worked very well. Sadly, at some point I can't totally remember, I recall sidelining one of the controllers due to finding it to be a bit defective? I can't quite say it was drift but... it was not responsive as it should have been. Rather than try to resolve this immediately, I just played with one controller and would hook it up to the console and play wired if I was having an extra long game session. I don't ever sit too far from the television so this was no hassle for me. Sadly, my other controller succumbed to the effects of stick drift in July 2023. I remember having issues as far back as May 2023 because I vividly remember the console botching a few moves on the grid while playing Invisible, Inc. and being so pissed off when it happened. I played through the pain for a month. Then I got fed up. Both controllers were no longer under the 1-year warranty. I hate disassembling things. By this time, Sony had released the DualSense Edge which was a 1st party equivalent of a pro controller. I decided to bite the bullet on the $200 price tag for the sole reason that the controller had easily replaceable "stick modules" and while I'd hate to bite the bullet on $20 every year and a half, it sure as hell beats having to keep buying brand new controllers. I bought my controller via Amazon and it arrived within 2 days as I pushed this issue to the back of my mind figuring it wouldn't come up again within the meaningful future. STICK DRIFT HITS THE DUALSENSE EDGE - tylerthecreator.jpg Yea believe it or not, after less than 8 months of usage, while playing Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, I started to notice the faintest bits of Chloe Frazier moving ever so slightly forward even when I wasn't so much as brushing up against the left stick. I already knew what it was. It was stick drift. My old nemesis ready to rain on my parade yet again. I powered on through it for Lost Legacy but Speed Limit was damn near insufferable with my player character refusing to sprint and instead pointing his gun at the sky without any input on my end. It's amazing how much of a powerful irritant such a seemingly small issue can become. You can't game properly if your equipment is jacked up. Pissed off, I decided to go in search of solutions and boy oh boy fellas... am I ready to share with y'all what I discovered. THE SONY CONSPIRACY - Begrudgingly, I began to look online for those damn little stick modules so that at the very least I could get my controller back up to speed by the end of the month so I can enjoy Final Fantasy VII Rebirth unperturbed. Do you want to know what I discovered? These modules may as well be a myth. PlayStation Store? Currently unavailable. Gamestop? Sold out. Best Buy? Sold out. Walmart? Out of stock. Target? Out of stock. Amazon? Currently unavailable. Your only viable path to obtain a stick module at this current time is either purchasing one at eBay for a hiked up price (which I will never do, for when I was but a boy, I will never forget my aunt telling me that "only pedophiles sell stuff on eBay"), AliExpress, of which you can actually buy them $10 but inevitably end up disappointed after waiting 3-4 months for it to arrive, OR other potentially sketchy 3rd party websites. But the spiral into madness doesn't stop here folks. Over a week ago, this thread on r/PS5 got mighty popular calling out the lack of stick modules on the open market. They've been out of stock for months. Some of the people in that thread are rightfully pissed off. I get it. Imagine buying a premium controller looking to avoid a common issue with the base controller and not even being able to resolve the issue due to a lack of production on Sony's end. Of course, stuff like this fuels conspiracy. "Sony does it ON PURPOSE to sell more controllers" "This is planned obsolence 101!" And... well... while I'd HATE to give the benefit of the doubt to a corporation... I just don't think it's the case y'all. Sony/Microsoft/Nintendo all use the same potentiometers that cause the issue within the controller. "IT'S A CONSPIRACY AMONGST ALL 3 OF THEM!!!!!" Yea I'm sorry. I don't imagine Reggie, Phil Spencer, and John Sony all sitting in a room together maliciously rubbing their hands together saying: "well boys... we have one last thing to consider... the sticks for the controllers. Should we make them long-lasting and durable OR PURPOSEFULLY SABOTAGE OUR USERS?". Then they all burst out cackling while drinking orphan blood. Maybe it does happen. I don't see it. I think it's an example of a big company just using the most common potentiometer on the market and it unfortunately bears more issues on the PS5 controller than the PS4 controller for whatever modular design. In fact... let's talk a little bit more about WHO stick drift affects before diving into problem-solving mode. This is my beautiful girl Maya. She's a bit younger in this picture as this photo is a few years old at this moment but she's just as precious as ever. MY THEORY ON STICK DRIFT - I visited various forums I frequent to see if there was any common thread amongst users experiencing this issue. The most common explanation I found was over time, dust accumulates, some nasty particles can enter the controller, wear-and-tear on the analog stick inside can give your stick some jittery, and all these factors combined lead to stick drift. Don't tell the Sony fanbros that though. These people are insufferable. Caping up for their corporation like you just insulted their own mother. Like this jackass who subscribes to the "it hasn't happened to me so it must not exist" mentality. These two threads I found on here also weren't helpful with the issue. Whenever I see the comment "just buy another" I can't help but get the feeling that they're imitating Rick James insultingly yelling at Dave Chappelle: "BUY ANOTHER ONE YA RICH MUTHAFUCKA". I am not rich, thankfully. But that unfortunately does mean I can't solve all my issues with money. Before finding alternative solutions, I'll leave my theories here. 1) Most stick drift does not begin because of a lack of care on the owner's behalf. I have no doubt in SOME cases it does. It's certainly not mine. You're reading this post from a man who has LIFETIME WARRANTY SOCKS and has not bought a new pair in over 5 years because I take care of the things I own. 2) I imagine having animals around your gaming set-up exacerbates an issue. I love my animals. I also recognize I've cleaned a house that DOESN'T have animals and good grief the amount of hair shed is inconceivable. 3) I almost always have an overhead fan running. I imagine this tosses some of the ever so tiny microscopic dust particles in the air and they decide to boogie their way down into the crevices of my controller. Again, these are just crackpot theories of mine. Don't take them as gospel. It's time we started whining about our situation and actually do something to fix it. So let's do that. SENDING IN DUALSENSE EDGE FOR REPAIR - While going through many threads on Reddit, I found this helpful one by a stranger who recommended sending in the device for repair. There was also this fabulously detailed response by somebody who documented their full repair sequence timeline. I realized at this point that my controller was still under warranty as it hadn't even been a year since I purchased it. So I decided to jump through the hoops necessary to get a repair. First, you've gotta put in the Serial Number/Barcode along with the Model Number to see if you're eligible. If you are, you select the issue pertinent to your situation, PlayStation offers some fake ass solutions, and then, as though with a sigh, they say fine, I guess you have to ship it in for a repair. You will then get an email with the Sony repair process. You need a few things. 1) Valid proof of purchase. (I printed out the invoice history from Amazon). 2) Pack your peripheral. I put my controller in some bubble wrap with the proof of purchase inside, packed it even more bubble wrap, and then used an old Amazon box from a previous purchase. 3) On the outside of the box, include the directions of the Sony Repair Center (my closest ended up being in Laredo, Texas as well as your own address so people don't think you're the Unabomber) 4) Sony wants to make sure you also include the return reference #, your name, phone, address, and model number because they're narcs. I included all of these also in a slip of paper within the bubble wrap. All packed, I had to wait until Tuesday to ship it out since Monday was Presidents Day and the shipping cost me $15.91. You're killing me smalls! Sony promises a refurbished/repaired controller in 15 days. Maybe it takes less. I'll update this post in the future as the controller is due to arrive tomorrow on Friday. The timeline is conceivably over my February 29th deadline of when FF7 Rebirth arrives... so... what about exploring other options? ARE THERE 3RD PARTY STICK MODULES? - No. I found this to be super odd. Given how much of a huge fish the PlayStation is, there are always remora fish on the fringes feeding off daddy Sony's wealth and offering accessories and alternative solutions with varying levels of success for common issues found in the hardware. Inevitably, over my time reading many threads from those suffering from stick drift, I kept finding the term "Hall Effect sticks" brought up over and over again. Allegedly, these sticks use "magnets" and thus are not susceptible to the drift that occurs from dust and wear-and-tear from tension and friction. Then I kept seeing the same company name come up over and over again... let's talk about that company. The Gulikit Myth - If you've done any research on "Hall Effect sticks" for PlayStation 5 controllers, you've undoubtedly found this company mentioned by users from posts well over a year old at this point. What the hell are they talking about? GuliKit is a company based out of Shenzen, China. They sell Hall Effect joystick controllers for Nintendo Switch users. This has made them a bit of a Messiah in the niche gaming community. FINALLY! A COMPANY WHO THOUGHT ABOUT THE LITTLE PEOPLE. As such, when Sony announced the DualSense Edge, they let out this tweet back in mid-January 2023 that they'd first design sticks for the DualSense Edge. They reiterated they'd give future updates about the project in March 2023. As of the time I write this post, no update has been given. You can see poor victimized stick drift users in their recent Twitter replies on the first tweet begging for an update like we're peasants in Mad Max: Fury Road asking for but a crumb of water. While I'd love to see GuliKit come through on their promise... I don't think this is going to be the happy forever solution some hope it will be. 1) The demand will be insane. This is a small company out of China. I have a feeling that if they ever do drop in the future, they'll be sold out damn near instantly, and you're talking about waiting months on end for them to get new stock as again, CLEARLY stick drift is a BIT of an issue if all the major websites are out of the base stick modules. 2) I'm not saying GuliKit are frauds, but they may be a teensy bit overrated. They've sold controllers with a big lie. This user called out the concept of Hall Effect as a magic solution in general. It's one of the rare few times you'll see anybody question Hall Effect. In all reality, the REAL reason they're not more widely used is because... they're just not as common as potentiometers at this point and aren't nearly as accurate as them. This YouTube video does a great job of pointing out how Hall Effects aren't perfect in their current incarnation. So, where the hell does that leave us? Are there any 3rd party controllers out there to save us? ARE THE 3RD PARTY CONTROLLERS w/ HALL EFFECT STICKS? Yes, but it's far from ideal. Disillusioned with GuliKit, I set off trying to find if there were at the very least any highly touted 3rd party gaming pro controllers that once and for all rectified this issue. There are. But they aren't Messiahs either. I went through all the "best 3rd party controllers" recommendations from top websites. IGN. GamesRadar. GameRant. The only controller which marketed Hall Effect was the Nacon Revolution 5 Pro. Sadly, users have complained about their design being half-assed. Even while exhaustively going through YouTube and discovering this diehard gamepad fanatic "Gamer Heaven", even modern iterations of Hall Effect controllers such as the "HYPR Custom Controller" left me underwhelmed. It's not that these controllers are bad. In fact, the reviewer speaks relatively highly about them though he does acknowledge some of the growing pains of iteration. But the monetization of the most basic features feels gross as hell. Maybe, if you're reading this post, it's worth investigating to see if one of them may suit your needs. They weren't going to suit mine. I already spent $200 on the DualSense Edge. Buying another $200+ Pro Controller with varying levels of success isn't in my wheelhouse. I don't have a Yankees/Dodgers spending ceiling. We're more of a middle-of-the-pack Colorado Rockies. So, out of luck with 3rd party options. I guess I had no other choice than... repair my two base controllers manually. Oh, brother. Alternatively, there's also this repair video. The one posted above is much cleaner and more delicate. The one I linked here is much nastier and bro's hands are jacked up with blood. Choose the flavor you prefer. THE EQUIPMENT YOU'LL NEED - Boot up this website on Google Chrome and connect your controllers to a laptop/PC. (I say use Chrome because my default browser is Firefox and the circularity test did not pop up while testing) I got my PS5 controller charging cable, an adapter I use for connecting the USB-A to my Mac Laptop. Fidget with the controller and you'll be able to see if there's jitter or drift and how extreme it is. One of mine was TERRIBLE with the left stick virtually pressing itself all the way up even when I wasn't touching it. The other controller had a slight drift to the left-hand side on BOTH sticks. So, the issues are in fact real. How do we fix it? Go on Amazon (or your preferred marketplace, don't give Jeff money if you don't want to). You'll need a few items. 1) A Nylon guitar pick ($5.50). 2) A plastic spudger ($7.50). (I also bought these black ones, they were useless). 3) Precision tweezers ($6). 4) Synthetic grease ($10). 5) Isopropyl/rubbing alcohol ($9.40). 6) Phillips Head Screwdriver that can remove PH00 Screws ($4.75). 7) Lint-free cleaning swabs ($8). You don't have to buy these exact items. I'm merely informing you of which ones I used for my operation. Optionally, I also bought this soldering iron which ended up being unnecessary but it may not be long-term. More on that later. Now that you have all your scruples in order, let's follow the video guide above. I will document in extreme detail how my first experience went. My 1st PS5 Controller Stick Drift Repair Experience #1. (7 minutes, 26 seconds) - This is how long it took me to do the diagnosis test and remove the initial black part of the controller on the front face. (Easy) #2. (9 minutes, 14 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the R1 and L1 triggers. I'm a moron. I was not paying attention to the video and did not notice the orientation of the controller when he was prying them loose. Thus, I, like a moron, kept trying to pry loose the R2 and L2 buttons. Once I realized this, they came off quite easily. Warning: My triggers went flying across the room as I used the spudger and did not anticipate their velocity. Be careful you don't lose them. (I'm a moron, but Easy) #3. (3 minutes, 49 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the 4 Phillips screws found in the controller. A monkey could do this. (Easy) #4. (25 minutes, 30 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the clips and disengage the backside of the controller from all the inner hardware and circuity. I'm sorry, this part SUCKS. Both videos I linked made this process look super easy. IT IS NOT. Maybe I'm a moron, maybe my spudger is stupid and doesn't have the little lip like the one in the main video that makes the process way easier, but I fought and battled with this thing for far longer than I'd like to admit. Well, I made clear it took me damn near half an hour so I guess I am admitting it. I don't even remember what finally made the back half of the controller snap off in the end. Enough prying and the thing eventually got fed up. This was hilariously, the longest most agonizing part of the entire disassembly. (Hard and agonizing as hell) #5. (11 minutes, 19 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the battery. This thing is scary as hell. The guy makes it look easy with those precision pliers. I didn't remember to do that. So between some mix of gently pulling up the little white plastic piece by the wires as well as well as lifting them up with the precision tweezers, I eventually managed to loosen it up and take it out without damaging it. (Medium) #6. (8 minutes, 23 seconds) - This is how long it took me to take off all the ribbons. Be gentle with these. I know, they're quite stubbornly set and require sufficient force to unlatch without accidentally ripping them out. I managed to do this without damaging anything somehow. (Medium) #7. (15 minutes, 59 seconds) - This is how long it took me to pry open the potentiometer and actually get the little damn thing out to clean. It is a very meticulous process. My biggest fear hands down was somehow snapping the little grid thing too far back to the point where it needed to be soldered back on and I REALLY didn't want to go through all that. I didn't think I had that skill in me after how long it took me to remove the back part of the controller. My technique was slowly but surely prying the little guitar pick in there until I finally created a little wedge. Then I'd use the orange spudger to ever so slightly make an opening until I could use my finger to slowly bend the piece backward with ease and remove the little thing. It worked. (Hard and scary) #8. (23 minutes, 30 seconds) - This is how long it took me to clean one of the potentiometers, put it back, plug everything back into place, and then repeat the process of removal, cleaning, and reinserting for the other potentiometer on the same left stick. Again, I went very slowly and carefully due to fear of removing the piece accidentally or snapping it off. I then ever so gently cleaned the little piece with my cleaning tips and used dabs of rubbing alcohol to clean the interior of the device itself where the thing rests. I put just a speck of grease on the device and reinserted it. Eventually, with enough force, it'll click back into place with the cube. (Hard) #9. (23 minutes, 16 seconds) - This is how long it took me to reassemble the entire controller. This part isn't so bad. You've already done all the difficult aspects of disassembly and this is one of the rare cases where putting the whole thing back together isn't nearly as difficult as taking it apart. Don't forget the speaker or the screws. Relatch those ribbons. Place the battery back into its socket. Eventually, it was time for the moment of truth... after latching back on the batter, I hooked up the adapter to my Mac and ran Gamepad Tester... the controller lit up... I twiddled the thumbsticks... NO MORE DRIFT! NO MORE DRIFT! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? IT ACTUALLY WORKED! Total Time for Repair: 2 hours, 8 minutes Concluding Thoughts: I can't believe that fixed the bloody thing. Genuinely. I know it sounds stupid, but I felt like such an idiot the entire process of the repair convinced "this thing probably still isn't even going to work in the end" and then when the left icon of the left stick magically always resets itself to the center... it's amazing. The pride and sense of accomplishment I felt knowing I had fixed something I owned would make an EA executive blush. Elated at my success, I decided to do it all over again 2 days later with my other controller. My 2nd PS5 Controller Stick Drift Repair Experience #1. (6 minutes, 6 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the front-facing black cover, remove the triggers, and take out all 4 Phillips screwdrivers. Yes, something that took me a combined damn near 20 minutes on my 1st attempt I completed in damn near 1/4 the time on my second attempt. I'M A SPEEDRUNNER. (Easy) #2. (16 minutes, 43 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove those damn clips and disengage the backside of the controller. Yea, faster, but not that much faster even this 2nd crack at it. It's just... stupid. I looked up multiple YouTube videos and none were helpful. Those top clips close to the R2/L2 triggers at the top of the frame are just a total pain in the ass. The only thing I will say is observing the way this guy managed to snap it off worked instantaneously for me after attempting it so... maybe that's the trick (Hard) #3. (4 minutes, 21 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove the battery. Accomplished in 1/4 the time. Be gentle as always since this is the first real step of the repair process you risk doing damage to the inner delicacies of the controller but as long as you're not a neanderthal, you should be fine. (Medium) #4. (6 minutes, 59 seconds) - This is how long it took me to take off all the ribbons. Unfortunately, here, I hit a snafu. Remember how I said in the 1st repair it's important to be gentle? Yea, I accidentally ripped one of them off. I'm sorry. The thing wasn't budging. It was one of the side blue ribbons. I freaked out initially. Then decided to simply place it to the side and worry about it during the reassembly portion of the process. (Medium) #5. (11 minutes, 6 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove, clean, and replace the 1st of the potentiometers. As this was the controller where BOTH sticks were getting a bit of drift, I'd need to clean all 4 as opposed to my first repair where I only cleaned the potentiometers on the left stick. (Medium) #6. (7 minutes, 39 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove, clean, and replace the 2nd of the potentiometers. #7. (6 minutes, 30 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove, clean, and replace the 3rd of the potentiometers. #8. (6 minutes 52 seconds) - This is how long it took me to remove, clean, and replace the 4th of the potentiometers. Honestly, now that I had gotten enough practice with loosening up the piece with the guitar pick and then slightly wedging it open with the orange spudger, I got quite comfortable with the process. I didn't fear snapping off the piece or anything at this point. Cleaning is easy and the hardest part of the whole thing is snapping the little piece back into place so it connects with the analog cube. (Medium) #9. (26 minutes, 43 seconds) - This is how long it took me to reassemble the entire controller. Sadly, this was one of the rare parts where I was actually SLOWER than my 1st attempt. There's a reason for this. Those ribbons gave me a headache on this one. One of the tiny bottom ribbons got wrapped under the circuit so mid-repair I had to un-do the ribbons all over again to get that last latch on. I ripped off another ribbon in the process. I then did my best to put both pieces back into place. It was a bit of a mess and remarkably finicky. I wasted a lot of time on that. Otherwise, this would have been a hell of a lot faster. Just like the first time, after reconnecting the battery, I ran it through the gamepad tester, and YUP! It's mostly gone! It's not as precise as the 1st controller repair and there's ever so slightly some jitter on the right stick but with deadzones I should be fine. Total Time for Repair: 1 hour, 33 minutes Concluding Thoughts: If it hadn't been for the fact I cleaned two additional potentiometers and had some fuss with the ribbons, I'm convinced I could have halved my time completely and gotten this process done in under an hour. Hell, I think I at the very least know how to remove the back portion of the controller in a much more expedient fashion now. I then tested out the controllers by playing some Emerald Shores and after earning the platinum, I believe I can say I noticed no discernible input from the controller that did not come from my own hand. Thrilled with my success, I put my little toolset away in a neatly organized box in case I ever need it in the future. This is necessary because while I've staved off stick drift at the moment... this is not a permanent solution. One of the greatest lines in cinema history. "No, you're not wrong. You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole." NOT A LONG-TERM, PERMANENT FIX - For as happy as am with the fact I managed to stave off stick drift after afflicting me for so long, I acknowledge that in reality what I've done is push the proverbial can down the road. My controller with inevitably probably accumulate dust and nasty grime over the years ahead. In an effort to stave that time off indefinitely, I've placed my controllers in air-tight containers and will charge them only when covered and tucked away in a drawer like they're some sort of holy item too pure for this world. We'll see if these drastic measures have any long-term benefit. But the issue remains. Is anybody out there doing ANYTHING to fix this issue long-term? Well... maybe.... POTENTIAL LONG-TERM SOLUTIONS - There's a popular YouTube video that I discovered during this ordeal by a man named Marius Heier. The video released in May 2023 and in less than a year, it has achieved over 2 million views. That's pretty noteworthy for a channel with less than 30k subscribers and their 2nd most popular video has less than 50k views. My YouTube channel even has at least 2 videos with 50k views. The Norwegian guy talks a big game. Apparently, he's making good progress on it. I hope that's the case. There's also a far lesser-known channel run by a man named Jun Zeng. He uses a Persona 5 waifu as his channel icon so you know he's legit. This guy actually already sells Hall Effect stick and there's a YouTube video produced by a guy named VK who showed the installation process. If you decided to actually spend time watching the video, you'll quickly realize this is not practical for 99% of consumers. The creator himself, who kind of does this soldering thing as his job, said it's "an extremely difficult installation, super hard, one of the hardest I've ever done on this channel, and I don't recommend trying this for yourself unless you have the right tools and a lot of experience with soldering." Alternatively, a much simpler solution is offered in the form of these little chips that require minimal soldering experience to install. An example of these can be found in this video. I'm intrigued by this option as even though they're not hall effects, it seems like a fairly decent temporary solution until other technology catches up. Perhaps one of y'all could try this option and report back to me on the results. My Multi-Million Dollar Business Idea - Having poured a huge amount of effort into this process... I'm left with one conclusion. Wow, there sure seems to be an awful lot of money to be made in the business. How difficult is it to honestly make one of these Hall Effect sticks? Do you realize I could sell these like women's feet pics on Reddit? The fervor and demand I could create for such a product could move mountains. I imagine the process MUST be super difficult. OR else somebody else would have done it by now. But literally just making a hall effect version of the stick modules found in the DualSense Edge seems like at minimum a hundreds of thousands dollars worth business. Allegedly, GuliKit is gonna do this. But even if GuliKit does, the demand they'll have likely won't be able to kept up with in production. I legitimately did some browsing on AliExpress for Hall Effect sticks. My brain then short-circuited because if I thought soldering was too advanced for me, how the hell am I gonna create something of this ilk and even begin to put together a prototype? But yea, in case any future entrepreneurial engineers are reading this, if you can make a prototype, DM me. If you could get something working, I'd like to try it firsthand. If it works, I'd love to work hand-in-hand with you to sell this product to the masses. I could do it, dammit. I can make a website. I can sell things. I CAN HANDLE THINGS. I'M SMAAAHT. Welcome To The End - Wow... did I just spend 3 hours in the wee early morning hours of a Friday typing all of that up? I guess I did. I've become a bit passionate about this subject after all I've researched. The years-old reddit threads, the never-ending YouTube video tutorials, the unhelpful dead ends. I hope this post, at some point in the future, helps somebody. I know it's long. You don't need to read it all if you don't need it. I'm sure large parts of it are completely incoherent unless you've ventured into some of these waters in the past of your own volition. I'm going to go ahead and take a solid week's long break from gaming and reboot my love of the medium when I get my FF7 Rebirth copy. I hope you all have a marvelous end to the month of February and see y'all in mid-March by the time I've devoured FF7RR! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pelagia14 Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 Wow. I unintentionally hibernate for a month and you add a new "omg I want to drop everything to play this" game to my backlog with Interaction Isn't Explicit (and thanks for the shout-out on the price!), write a review on my most favoritest Uncharted game ever, and then do the lord's work sharing the knowledge you gained in your PhD on stick drift for the benefit of humanity! I am so unbelievably hyped for Rebirth to come out in just a few days(!!!!!!). The extended preview earlier this month indicated to me that Rebirth is going to continue to be faithful in modernizing so many beloved-and-or-iconic aspects and mechanics of the original game, while also adapting to many conventions of the modern 3D gaming landscape. I'm still a little uncertain about the meta-narrative that they are playing with everyone who has played OG FFVII, but with all the love and attention put into the game, I'm hoping that the meta-narrative will make more sense in this installment (and confirm a popular fan theory that makes sense to me). Anyways, I'm especially excited for your Rebirth post, since you're the only person I know who will be playing it and hasn't played the original! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copanele Posted February 26 Share Posted February 26 On 2/23/2024 at 3:25 PM, realm722 said: I Got My Ph.D. In PS5 Controller Stick Drift So You Don't Have To (How To Fix It) So, I read all of this(took me a while, it's technically an engineering article) and my very first reaction was: I tried soldering around with a previous PS4 controller and while it worked...temporarily...that kinda convinced me that the damn plastic is programmed to break. Might be a tin foil conspiracy theory but I swear it's not really coincidence when the Ultra Dualsense 5 Premium Big Dick Edition breaks at exactly 1 year after purchase. Clockwork precision right there! Your article timing couldn't have been more fateful, since my controller started drifting like it was in Tokyo mere days before you posted this! I found a stupid-but-actually-works? alternative solution on Reddit. Faced with this same problem, a redditor suggested that I should press down the stick that is drifting (in my case the L3) and gently do clockwise motions for 1 minute, then counterclockwise motions for another minute. Somehow, by some sorcery this fixed the issue. Whether it's temporary or not, I don't know, my bet is that I lucked out. But for some reason this worked like a charm. Waiting for the next Dualsense mega update to get my Stick Drift back 😂 Still I wish to congratulate you for your work and study on the case, even if the stupid thing will break again, at least now you can clean up a controller in no time and have one extra skill in electronics. On 2/23/2024 at 3:25 PM, realm722 said: THE EQUIPMENT YOU'LL NEED - Boot up this website on Google Chrome and connect your controllers to a laptop/PC I whisper those words in the microphone of my Dualsense every time it has the idea of acting up and somehow it gets back in line. That might also be a solution. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 On 2/26/2024 at 2:52 AM, Copanele said: I tried soldering around with a previous PS4 controller and while it worked...temporarily...that kinda convinced me that the damn plastic is programmed to break. Might be a tin foil conspiracy theory but I swear it's not really coincidence when the Ultra Dualsense 5 Premium Big Dick Edition breaks at exactly 1 year after purchase. Clockwork precision right there! Your article timing couldn't have been more fateful, since my controller started drifting like it was in Tokyo mere days before you posted this! I'm telling you man... there's something going on here. I'm not going to go full conspiracy theorist, I genuinely think this is just Sony doing a classic "get the most well-known stick and keep using it" since all the other companies are also doing it but the radical increase I saw around the phenomenon is either an indication of after certain amount of X hours of use, that thing is just meant to go bust. I'm not joking when I saw the term "planned obsolescence" mentioned north of 50 times across all those threads. Sorry to hear that soldering on the PS4 controller didn't go well. I've heard that one's more complicated than the PS5 to take apart sadly. On 2/26/2024 at 2:52 AM, Copanele said: I found a stupid-but-actually-works? alternative solution on Reddit. Faced with this same problem, a redditor suggested that I should press down the stick that is drifting (in my case the L3) and gently do clockwise motions for 1 minute, then counterclockwise motions for another minute. Somehow, by some sorcery this fixed the issue. Whether it's temporary or not, I don't know, my bet is that I lucked out. But for some reason this worked like a charm. Waiting for the next Dualsense mega update to get my Stick Drift back 😂 Yup, I've seen those tricks as well. Tried them with my base controllers ages ago when they first went bust and neither of them helped. Happy it worked for you though! I'll be curious to see if it just extends yourself drift-free short-term or if you can get another year+ of usage out of it with that simple trick! On 2/25/2024 at 7:26 PM, pelagia14 said: Anyways, I'm especially excited for your Rebirth post, since you're the only person I know who will be playing it and hasn't played the original! Not only have I not played the original, I have avoided all talk about Rebirth for the last 6 months. Genuinely. I have all the key names filtered on social media. I have blocked it whenever so much of a thumbnail has popped up on YouTube. I am going to get a genuinely completely blind experience and I cannot wait. My expectations are high (I'd be sad if I didn't find the game to AT LEAST be 8/10 worthy) but I mean... this is Square Enix's BABY. They can't mess this up. I trust them to lead me to a good time and if all else fails, I loved the combat in the 1st game and that alone can float an entire experience for me. As an aside, update everybody - I got my DualSense Edge back from the Repair center! Here is the timeline. Packed Controller w/ Shipping Info: February 17th (Saturday) Shipped Controller: February 20th (Tuesday) Arrived at Repair Center: February 23rd (Friday) Left Repair Center & Shipped Back: February 26th (Monday) Package Arrives w/ Fixed Controller: February 29th (Thursday) Honestly, can't complain. When I shipped it out, they said they'd try to get it back within 15 days. I got it within 9. That's pretty good. Especially given I get to enjoy FF7 Rebirth with it. Due to my location, the repair center in Laredo, Texas ended up being the closest so good on them. I checked the serial number and it's different so they actually replaced it instead of just swapping out the busted stick module which I thought was interesting. That's all from me. I'm off to hibernate and don't know when I'll reemerge. Until then! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted April 7 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 7 My Experience Playing In A Competitive FIFA Tournament in Colombia *shoos the cobwebs off this thread* Holy crap man... has it really been since February that I haven't commented on here? That HAS to be the longest gap in time between posts on this thread since I started it back in 2016. That's mental. Anyways, much to my biggest hater's disappointment, I am, in fact, not dead. Rather, I've been loving life and got back a little over a week ago from a life-changing trip to Colombia. "Life-changing" sounds drastic but there will be times in your life where you feel like you get a totally different perspective on things and this trip absolutely qualifies for that category. I've had a bit of a love affair with the country in general after making some friendships over there during the pandemic and it is wild how emotional you can get when people you've spoken with hundreds of hours over ZOOM and grown intimate friendships with finally became reality for you.... in-person. As this isn't a personal blog, I won't dive into much further details but as an unambitious person who almost didn't go on this trip, I would have regretted it so much if I hadn't. So... I guess the moral of the story is, travel if given the opportunity? That sounds about right. ANYWAYS, one of the highlights of my trip was meeting and getting to know a friend of a family friend. This guy was pretty cool. I'm going to use aliases for everybody as I feel that makes them more memorable than their basic names. We'll call him OnePiece because bro is big on anime. Anyway, he's a graphic designer and has an absolutely sick work set-up at his home and was showing me some of his getdown and such. I noticed on his desktop that he had some FIFA 19. While I haven't touched FIFA since FIFA 22, I feel like when you've spent thousands of hours of your life playing it as I have, you never quite lose the skill and competitiveness that comes with playing a peer in-person. He actually said he wasn't big on it (he prefers other games like Rocket League) but his older brother is BIG on it and MAD competitive. In the words of Michael Jordan, that was all I needed. His brother, BocaGrande (this means big mouth in Spanish) soon pulled up and I immediately started trash-talking him. He loved it. Here I am, the foreigner, asking these Colombians whether or not they wanna lose by 3 goals or less. We wasted no time firing the system up. I haven't touched FIFA in well over a year and a half but it's like riding a bike. Unfortunately, I made a critical error in my selection. I went with Real Madrid because, duh. He went with Juventus. This is FIFA 19. aka the FIFA right after CR7 left Madrid and went to a stacked Juventus squad, at least in FIFA. Real Madrid meanwhile was in a weakened state post-CR7, Benzema hadn't risen to Ballon d'Or yet, it was pre-Vinicius learning how to finish, etc... aka... you can already see me making my excuses. I went up 1-0, he tied it at 1-1, he then got one of the most bullshit penalties I've ever seen in my life on a player I wasn't even controlling and went up 2-1. I'm not gonna lie. He was A LOT better than I thought he'd be. I say this because whenever I meet a friend in person who plays FIFA and wants to play, I typically whoop that ass 6-1. I'm just being honest. On this occasion, I would be the one getting my ass whooped. I had a golden opportunity with Vinicius open running towards goal in the 83rd minute and he sailed the shot far right of the goal. I then pressed, went ultra attacking, and he took advantage getting 2 goals late with my defense all out of my position to win 4-1. Ouch. He was a good sport about it, especially after all that trash I talked. I excused the penalty. He said no worries, I'll beat you again. PLAY THE MICHAEL JORDAN TRASH TALKING ONLY AFTER WINNING CLIP. I know had to, as the kids say, lock tf in. We went for Match #2. I wasn't messing around. I choose PSG. Neymar, Cavani, & Mbappe. That was all I needed. He went up 1-0, I stayed the course, Cavani knotted it up before halftime to make it 1-1, and then in the 70th minute, Cavani muscles off Chiellini to put me up 2-1 in the 71st minute with a laser across goal. I killed time. I win 2-1. It was a proper great match. Especially considering I missed 2 penalties because bro's gave me a busted up Xbox 360 controller with the stick sensitivity cranked all the way up so it's damn near impossible to aim properly. We then paused for now to go get lunch with the family amongst other things but oooooh boy did word get out about a loud-mouth American who loved playing FIFA competitively. Around 3 hours later, both bro's had their friends pull up to have ourselves a little FIFA Tournament. 6 players in total. We'd play this out like a proper league. 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw, 0 points for a loss. You play the other 5 opponents, player with the most points in the end wins. The players? Myself, BocaGrande, UnOjo(one eye cuz he wore a patch), ElNiño(a hilarious 12-year old kid who joined the crew with the adults), ElComico(brother of eye patch bro, funny dude), and SeñorSerio(brother-in-law of BocaGrande). I rolled with PSG. BocGrande with Juventus. UnOjo with Bayern Munich. ElNiño with Barcelona. ElComico with Liverpool. SeñorSerio with Bayern Munich. My first opponent was ElComico. I hadn't seen him play against any of the prior opponents as this was his 1st game. I gotta be honest, I was playing horribly early on and conceded 2 early goals in the first 30 minutes. It was a bit embarrassing. Here I was, talking all this trash, I got trumped 4-1, won 2-1, and am now down 0-2 to this guy? Nuh uh. I got a goal before halftime. Kept the faith. Tied it up off a corner to make it 2-2 and in the 78th minute completed the full remontada (comeback) with Mbappe breaking free to salvage the victory and claim my 3 points. ElComico is a solid player, very patient, I thought he was honestly better than BocaGrande but his issue in later matchups was that he just settled for far too many longshot attempts than getting closer and giving himself a better opportunity to score. My next opponent was SeñorSerio. This translates to "Mr. Serious" which is incredibly appropriate because lemme tell you, as someone who had never played in front of a bunch of people who were INVESTED in a FIFA game result, the atmosphere is HILARIOUS. There's pressure with so many eyes on you and critiquing your every move but also so much laughter whenever somebody goofs up or the peanut gallery wants to chime in. That is of course, until Mr. Serious enters the fray. No smiles, no jokes, this ain't a game to him. He was a decent opponent but... I handled my business. I went up 2-0 by playing patient, he made it 2-1, I went ahead and got two more goals to make it 4-1 and he got a consolation prize for his goal difference in stoppage time to lose 2-4. My third opponent was BocaGrande. This was the rubber match. I had proven myself against two solid opponents and gotten my confidence back up realizing I had won 3 of my last 4 matches. I wasn't rusty anymore. I wasn't playing with old slow ass Madrid in 2019 who had zero fast attacking options. I felt good. But I gotta hand it to BocaGrande man, bro talks trash but he is LEGIT. He knew that the captain and king of his team was Ronaldo and he force-fed him the ball to perfection. He went up 2-0 early. I got a goal before the half. I got another one to tie things up in the 60th minute and got the title "Hombre de los Remontadas" which I thought was pretty great. He went ahead in the 70th on a ridiculous finesse shot by Ronaldo. I responded after a defensive passing error by him to tie it up at 3-3 in the 78th. This was the best match of the entire tournament and the whole crew recognized it. Unfortunately, I had Mbappe free late in the 88th minute and fired a shot on goal that hit the far right post. He got possession back and went down the patch. He found who else other than Cristiano Ronaldo in the 92nd minute for an absurd 4TH goal of the match in game-winning fashion after he fired it across my keeper who was utterly helpless. I still have the screaming reactions from the onlookers seared into my memory. Props to him. It was one hell of a match. He was the better man and beat me 2 out of 3 times fair and square. Damn you Ronaldo. Carried his bloody ass. My fourth opponent was UnOjo. He was a fairly conservative player who had earned a few draws with Liverpool. I literally scored in the 3rd minute of the match and that's how things ended just 1-0 without too much intense action in either direction. I'll take my 3 points. My final opponent was ElNiño. The incredible thing that I need to share with you all is this kid, playing amongst adults, despite having shockingly little FIFA experience, had managed a DRAW against BocaGrande 2-2 with Barcelona following a late Ousmane Dembele screamer from outside the box in the 81st minute. In hindsight, it's baffling. He was by far the worst opponent of the 5 I faced and I dusted him 4-0 and should honestly have won 6-0 or 7-0 as he just doesn't know defensive discipline and frequently pulls his players out of possession. It's baffling to me in hindsight that BocaGrande slipped up and cost himself 2 points by either not taking him seriously or trusting too much in himself. All in all, finishing with 12/15 points isn't so bad. Beating 4/5 Colombians as the American feels pretty good. If only they had Junior FC in the game or else I would have played with them and tried to beat them with their own pride and joy. Sadly for me, nobody helped me out in my path to the title. ElNiño managed to cost BocaGrande 2 points but as he played, he beat everybody else. He stomped ElComico 4-1. He beat UnOjo 2-1 after getting a late penalty to salvage a victory. Against SeñorSerio in the final match of the night, he was LOSING 0-1 in the 1st half and thus needed 2 goals to rally and steal the title and he got all 3 before the 80th minute to ultimately win 3-2 and take the title. Colombia FIFA Tournament #1. BocaGrande: 13 points #2. Me: 12 points #3. SeñorSerio: 7 points #4. ElNiño: 5 points #5. UnOjo: 3 points #6. ElComico: 1 point I've never had so much fun in my life playing FIFA. An atmosphere like that where everybody cares while also having a fun time and ribbing each other is unmatched. I'll happily take 2nd place. On my second to last night before I came back to the US, I was back over at their house and was beating BocaGrande 1-0 in the 34minute before we got called to head out for a late-night beach excursion with everybody on the trip. We'll have to continue it online. But that's enough about Colombia. I've become that person who traveled out of the country and now every conversation I have with my family and friends relates back to my experience over there. Let's not have it drip over to my online persona as well. I am currently back into the throw of things with Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. I wrote 51k words about my trip in Colombia when I got back home. I'm not saying the Rebirth review is gonna rival that, but I AM saying it may yanno... be 1/4 that? Maybe? We'll see. Until then! 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copanele Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 On 4/7/2024 at 8:04 AM, realm722 said: My Experience Playing In A Competitive FIFA Tournament in Colombia *shoos the cobwebs off this thread* I swear, I wanted to reply to this way earlier but uh...uhhhh...yeah focus ain't my strong suit! Anyway, I think reading this was the most fun I had with a FIFA ever since I played a FIFA 2007 dorm tournament with colleagues and friends, prize being an unidentified bottle of vodka(allegedly). Congrats for the massive success abroad! And also best of luck to ElNiño, he really sounds like a star in the rising 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottyKuze Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 How to say you have schizophrenia without saying you have schizophrenia. Some people may say it's cool, but most of them would just say it's crazy what you're doing. If you're so good at gaming, at least try to make ONE friend. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted April 28 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 28 (edited) On 4/27/2024 at 1:45 PM, Copanele said: I swear, I wanted to reply to this way earlier but uh...uhhhh...yeah focus ain't my strong suit! Anyway, I think reading this was the most fun I had with a FIFA ever since I played a FIFA 2007 dorm tournament with colleagues and friends, prize being an unidentified bottle of vodka(allegedly). Congrats for the massive success abroad! And also best of luck to ElNiño, he really sounds like a star in the rising lmao thanks mate. Playing for a bottle of vodka sounds hilarious. We all had some salchipapa afterward and it was 👌 magnifique 23 hours ago, ScottyKuze said: How to say you have schizophrenia without saying you have schizophrenia. Some people may say it's cool, but most of them would just say it's crazy what you're doing. If you're so good at gaming, at least try to make ONE friend. Oh. This is the first time I see you post around here so I don't blame you for not getting the post was tongue in cheek. I do trash talk while playing FIFA but it's all in good fun. Made lots of friends over there. They even offered to let me sleep in a spare bedroom in the future when I go back. Anyways, thank goodness nobody is paying me to write these reviews because I haven't written any since February 21st. How about we rectify that with my biggest review ever? Edited April 28 by realm722 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted April 29 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 29 Game: Final Fantasy VII Rebirth (Action (Complex), (Open World Big Boy) (250th Platinum Extravaganza) DISCLAIMER - (Hello everybody. It's been a minute. A few thousand minutes if you will. I have engulfed this game for 160 hours. One could argue that I have become one with it. I say all this to say that this review is for me, not for you. I know that sounds like I'm being a bit of a jerk, forgive me. But I want to crystallize this experience, all the good, all the bad, for what it was. That means I have to write A LOT. Because there's a lot to say. I took several thousands worth of notes regarding this experience and having sorted through them to bring you this somewhat slightly more coherent review. I do this because years down the line, when I am inevitably in an airport waiting for some flight to god knows where, I read back my old video game reviews I have saved offline. Sometimes I perfectly recapture the experience of replaying a game. Sometimes I don't. Hopefully I'm successful on this occasion. As a bonus, I promise you, with my hand on my heart, that every thought and opinion you read in this review of mine has originated with myself and my brain alone. I have locked myself off from all discourse of this game online. Thank you Tim Rogers for teaching me how to do that. Now, like a snowflake from heaven, I bring you my review of Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth) Why Final Fantasy VII Rebirth? There has not been a single game in the history of this entire thread that has had a larger impact on the way I talk and write about video games than the original Final Fantasy VII Remake. I had begun writing about games with more depth starting in the year 2020, first breaking 1,000 words for a single review with my write-up of Persona 5. I would continue to hit my stride that year with writing frequently breaking that word count milestone by August 2020. Hell, I wrote several thousands worth of words about The Banner Saga series. But the remake struck a different cord with me than any other game I had experienced previously. Here was a game that was innocently made available for free for all PS+ Users during the month of March 2021. I thought it'd be a 7/10 experience. Instead, it became my favorite game of All-Time. To this day, it still holds true at #2 and I find myself going back and forth between it and Hades for the top spot on the hierarchy. I say all this to say that it was not a point about "if" I was going to play the sequel, Rebirth, when it released, but rather, how soon I could devour it to bring you this here review. It took me damn near 2 whole months from the day of its release on February 29th, 2024, but we're finally here dammit! How good is Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth? Enough fluff. Let's cut to the chase. Is this game good? C'mon, you should know me by this point. It's never going to be that simple. Let's use a metaphor. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth is a mistifying, magnificent woman. Let's talk about the easy-to-understand part first. Her beauty is self-evident. This game is gorgeous. The combat is sensational. There are sequences and slices of this game where it is a 10/10 and every emotional string being played is in harmony with all of its best elements. When FF7 Rebirth is humming with all of its gears in motion, this is quite easily one of my favorite video games of All-Time. But now let's get to the part you care about. The mystifying element of this mesmerizing woman. There's also a lot here that uhh... for lack of a better way to say it, leaves you utterly baffled. Some portions and elements trickled into the game design to break up the typical rhythm or some story elements that were thought to better well-round the overall appetite are just straight-up atrocious. I can't even defend them. And I love this game. Somebody who is less sympathetic to this title and wishes to dunk on Square Enix OR Final Fantasy would have a remarkably easy time doing so with some of the meatballs Nomura was throwing straight down the middle of the plate with some of these design decisions. But like any woman you truly love, I don't find it too difficult to overlook these grave flaws since it's still... her. Nothing else in gaming is her. It's why I'm here. It's why I'm writing this. I'll write about all the poor elements in every agonizing detail later on in this review but don't get it mistaken for a moment that I love this game and my hope is you the reader, love it as well. Bigger Than Gaming Itself - I don't feel like I'm exaggerating when I say that my relationship with the Final Fantasy 7 Remake Series has somewhat taken on a life of its own. I want to make myself clear. I don't think there's any other video game on the market that would do to me what this game has done. I have not touched another game in my catalog since February. You can go ahead and look at my gaming history since it's all freely available. Quite frankly, since March 2018, no other game has come close to single-handedly enveloping me in its vortex than this one. The closest other contender is MLB The Show 19 during the month of September 2019 and even then, I managed to platinum InnerSpace. Part of this is of course due to Rebirth's enormous scope and time required to platinum it. But... when I played it, I didn't want to play anything else. I wanted to make this my 250th platinum milestone so I could see Aerith's wonderfully hands clasped together for eternity on my profile page. I exhausted myself playing through the story to completion on a deadline before a life-altering international trip to Colombia due to the fact I didn't want to go those two weeks leaving the story in limbo. My point is this, I can't talk about this game like other people talk about this game. So I'm just going to talk about it... like I know how. SPOILERS GALORE BELOW. Wow. Look at this beautiful photo of Aerith/Tifa lovingly leaning up against this magnificent Chocobo. I'm sure all the gameplay segments to obtain these chocobos were likewise lovely and magnificent. Right? RIGHT??? The Decision to Start from Zero Sequel - One of the biggest I had when booting up Rebirth for the first time was: "how the heck is Square Enix going to handle carrying gear/materia over from the Remake?" I had gone hardcore 100% completing the game and made sure my save was in its proper place when installing the sequel. The hilarious answer is, Square Enix makes you start from scratch. Outside of one materia Summon for Leviathan, the game throws away all your progress from the Remake and has returning players continue as somebody who had never touched the first game. I ain't gonna lie, at first, I was a little bit annoyed that this was handled this way. Seriously? One crappy summon Materia is all you get for 60+ hours poured into the first game? But the more I thought about it, the more I recognized there was no easy solution for this. How the hell do the developers remedy the chasm between a returning player with a bunch of maxed out OP materia / gear with the start of a brand-new game? How do you even level-scale that up beyond the first few chapters? The reality is, making the player start from scratch without any prior materia or old weapons was the only practical solution, as much as I was initially peeved with it. I DO think the least they could have done was have Tifa or Barret acknowledge: "damn, it's a shame we lost all our gear and materia when getting stretchered out of the blast radius". Would that have satisfied me in the moment? Probably not, but at least you give some lore reason aside from the fact it was simply impractical from a gameplay perspective. My 1st Playthrough (Abbreviated) - Here are the highlights summarizing my 1st playthrough. For one, I'll admit that I quite easily looked over some of the more annoying/slower aspects found in the early part of the game as I was just so happy to be back in this world and hanging out with these wonderful characters. I was floored by the fact the devs let us play as Sephiroth in Chapter 1, that was awesome. Chapter 2 my jaw hit the floor with the open world but I'll admit I probably OD'd on the open world content too fast too soon as I got a bit fatigued towards the end as 100% completing those segments will take you a handful of hours. Chapter 3 is a throwback to the linear segments of the Remake in the mines and splintering off with different party groups. By the start of Chapter 4 I wrote that "I'm enjoying it, but the game is profoundly flawed" which in hindsight reads as pretty damning. I recognized the open world busy work for what it was. Combat felt a bit too easy but I recognize that's a bit because I mastered the original having played it so much. I was 10 1/2 hours in at this point. As if the game heard me at this point, the quality dramatically ramps up from here. I loved everything involving the parade, the cruise ship Queen's Battle tournament, and EVERYTHING in Costa del Sol from the island vibes to Yuffie joining the gang. It was at this point I realized I skipped all the Under Juno open world / side content so I went back and did that. I wrote in my notes "the pacing felt too good for a while there" lmao. I was in the Costa del Sol open world region for another mini eternity before finding the game sharply increasing back up to superstar status with Chapter 8 and the Gold Saucer. I LOVE this section of the game. Super fun exploring the different sections and of course winning the Chocobo Race to liberate the scooby gang from Gus' prison. Chapter 9 sees us in the buggy and with Cait Sith joining the fray. I wrote in my notes that "Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth is Horizon Forbidden West+Yakuza 0" which is a pretty fantastic take in retrospect if I do say so myself. Here you pull up to Gongaga and meet Cissnei. The story gets REALLY dumb here with Tifa when you visit the old blown up reactor. We then get provoked to go visit Cosmo Canyon which leads us to Red 13's old stomping grounds and Chapter 10. I wrote: "this has to be the last major open world section in the game" which again, lmao. I was 40 hours in when I got here. I was pressing to really fly through the game at this point with my impending trip. The Gi Nattak boss fight against Barret/Red 13 was the first boss to kill me 2 times. Chapter 11 continues on to Nibelheim and features some underground manor exploration, a Cait Sith-solo section, and fighting Vincent Valentine. Chapter 12 opens the scope back up with open-world avaibility and new events in all the regions in the game along with revisiting the Gold Saucer with some major fights to get the key relic plus a date night. The game is again, PEAK during these portions. Finally, you have the homestretch with Chapter 13 visiting the old Cetra temple and Chapter 14 with the big epic conclusion involving Cloud / Aerith / Sephiroth and what the hell actually happened. My thoughts at the end of a 60-hour playthrough? "I very much enjoyed the game flaws and all and there’s so much to write about. My gut reaction would be I’d say I like it a bit less than the 1st game due to the fact… I can’t as easily bypass certain ridiculous elements." OOF. We'll dive more into these later. Ranking the Open World Content - There are 8 different types of World Intel Side Content found in the game. Let's rank them from worst to best. #8) Excavation Spots - After completing a certain amount of world intel activities in a region, Chadley will hit you up and let you know there's a transmuter chip has been located and can be dug up by your Chocobo. These aren't atrocious but I don't think I can recall a single time I enjoyed it either. It's just a bit tedious having your Chocobo sniff where the item is, sometimes have to sniff again, go to dig it up, oh, your Chocobo was one foot off of where the item is so he didn't get it, dig again, etc... 7) Intel Towers - If you wanted to dunk on this game for having nonsensical open-world fluff, quite literally having Ubisoft Towers that reveal the location of other open world activities in the region could not have been an easier way to do it. Credit to the developers though. They refused to put the same tower in every region. Sometimes you it's a simple ladder, sometimes you gotta grapple hook up, sometimes you gotta climb up, I would find immense humor in the slight variation or two added at each one just to avoid the critique that they've been copy-and-pasted. I always appreciated the moogle medals found in the boxes nonetheless. 6) Lifesprings - Quite literally a "find the lifespring, click triangle 3 times, congrats, intel activity complete." For whatever reason, despite its plainess, I found these fine and enjoyed the hypnotic rhythm of hitting triangle at the precise moment each time. 5) Divine Intel - Extremely similar to the lifesprings with the exception that the game hides the button inputs and adds variety with increasing complexity the deeper you get into the game. I pride myself on never having failed these a single time. If you do, I imagine Tifa shrieks at you for being a moron. Only reason it's ranked higher than lifesprings is these at the very least give you access to fighting the summons in Chadley's Combat Simulator. 4) Moogle Intel - I love the Moogle crackhead dens. The minigame is intentionally a bit infuriating but I made sure I didn't let myself get frustrated. Gather up the moogles, put 'em in the center square, and congrats here are some weapon scrolls to beef up your characters. 3) Fiend Intel - The game is peak when it leans into its combat. These are fights that demand specific results out of the player, such as pressuring the enemy by exploiting a weakness, staggering it, and completing it within a time limit. Good, straightforward side content. 2) Protorelics - This was the side content with hands down the most amount of effort poured into it. Whereas some others can receive criticism for being "filler", protorelic challenges always brought variety. Grasslands has Beck's Bandits fights goofiness. Junon had Fort Condor minigame with taking out the opposing tower boss. Corel had Kid G and Cactuar Crush w/Yuffie and Aerith. Gongaga had old training facility fights. Cosmo Canyon has Gears and Gambits and fighting with those slime creatures. Nibelheim had those Black robe dudes. Completing all of these has its own special reward and additional side content. I enjoyed some of these. I didn't enjoy others. Cactuar Crush with Aerith is the worst minigame in the entire game. WHY would you make a minigame centered around completing a challenge within a time limit with your SLOWEST AND MOST FLAT-FOOTED CHARACTER SQUARE ENIX??? I enjoyed the slimes and bandits. I hated following around those slow ass robes in Nibelheim. 1) Classified Intel - Secret boss fights earned for finding most of the intel in a region. Unlike the protorelics, these were almost always bangers hence why I ranked it #1. My favorites were the Tonberry King in Corel and the Great Marlboro in Gongaga. All in all, I'd give the overall rating of this content to be decent and inoffensive to occasionally good with the monotonous valley of, you're playing the game wrong and KILLING its pacing if you 100% complete all of the side content as soon as you're given the opportunity. Don't play that way. Do like 60% and then keep it moving. Ranking the Side Quest Content - There are 36 side quests in the game. Rather than rank all of them (which I could do, for the record, but that'd be too much fun for you and me) I'll mention the ones that stand out the most for better or for worse. The important thing to remember is by completing certain side quests, you increase your affinity for different members of your party. Hence, you're not just incentivized to do them because Cloud wants to help Joe Schmo with his farm, he wants to do it because it gets him brownie points with Aerith, capiche? Grasslands has fairly eh quests which is normal for so early in the game. I enjoyed "A Rare Card Lost" simply because it made me realize that Queen's Blood is an amazing minigame and something I only grew to appreciate the more I played. "Hustle and Grind" with Beck's bandits trying to start an honest business and job interviewing Cloud was also delightful. Junon has some truly ass side quests. Following this damn dog Salmon around. At least I got to hear some Barret commentary on his baby girl and her growing up. That Bloody frog minigame that took me far longer to complete than it should have. I enjoyed Dolphin racing at the very least. Corel has the best side quests in the game. Fixing up Johnny's Inn so it went from a shack in the wall to a proper hotel was fantastic even if finding the parts organically without a guide was a bit of a pain. I appreciated the fashionistas. I got to kick Jules' ass again. I just love hanging around the Gold Saucer so all those quests were fun too and "Can't Stop, Won't Stop" emphasizes this to a tee. Gongaga is funny because it has some of the most ridiculous content in the game. You can write a proper thesis on "O Chicken, Where Art Thou". While playing it, I thought "this is some of the worst, slowest, and most agonizing content I've ever trudged through in any video game, ever, let alone an AAA game." This is the clearest, most blatant example of game developers trolling 100% completionists I've ever seen in my life. The pay-off of the granny being evil at the end was pretty damn incredible though. Cosmo Canyon dips back down to being eh. Wrangling the Chocobo was infuriating. "Victim of Circumstances" wasn't a great payoff side quest either. Finally, Nibelheim has just 3 quests including chasing down a dumbass white cat and protecting it from some big ass bees and Hojo being back on his bullshit. All in all, it's a pretty mixed bag. Some of these are proper fun and make you bond with some of your party members. Others are rubbish and were a slog to get through. I'd give it a 30% properly "good", 50% "this is decent/fine", and 20% "this is outright bad". I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not those percentage splits are acceptable. My 2nd Hard Playthrough (Abbreviated) - Having played through the game a 2nd time to fulfill the requirement for "Of Hardy Stock" which is a trophy that requires you to beat all 14 chapters again on Hard Mode, I thought I'd like to summarize my thoughts of the game on a second passing. I noticed a few thoughts. For one, I had much less patience for a lot of the slow nonsense found especially prevalent in the early chapters and egregiously splattered about in latter chapters. I was quite forgiving on my 1st playthrough because "I was just happy to be here" hanging out again with Cloud and co. 100+ hours in, as they say, familiarity breeds contempt, and goddammit enough of the slow ass L2+R2 button prompts during slow, cinematic, prestige sequences, Square. WE'VE MOVED PAST THIS AS A MEDIUM. Oops. Sorry. My rant regarding the atrocious elements of this game is still 5 photo paragraph scrolls away. Forgive me. In all seriousness, while some of the agonizing elements in certain chapters became extra emphasized, the delightful parts of this game remain outstanding, even on a 2nd playthrough. Chapters 4-6 are stellar. When you don't have to take out time to do a bunch of intel open-world nonsense or side quests that can slow the pacing, you can really breeze through the game at an impressive rate. I also found myself not skipping nearly as many cutscenes as I thought I would. I skipped a fair amount but when the party is playing off each other extremely well and we're not in: "oh god oh no Cloud has his head TV static screen effect again oh god no no" and instead it's Yuffie being a goofball or Tifa/Aerith being their lovely selves, the game is everything I want it to be and then some. As for the combat, I must admit that I did not get a proper "Hard Mode" experience as with the Gotterdammerung earned from completing some brutal Combat Simulator challenges, having a Limit Break at the start of every fight is a bit unfair to the normal enemies found in the game. The bosses still put up one hell of a fight though. I love the character designs in this game. I wish I could feel the fabric used for Cloud's vest or Yuffie's turtleneck. Square Enix hit it out of the park with letting their star cast shine visually. Ranking Chapters Best to Worst - There's no better way for me to convey what parts of the game had me falling in love with this game all over again than meticulously writing out the best and worst of the game on a chapter-by-chapter basis. I'll try and balance my feelings between how I felt on my blind initial playthrough and how I felt replaying the chapters on hard mode when the game no longer had the element of surprise in its favor. #1. Chapter 12 (Open World Restocked, Return to the Gold Saucer, Intimate Date w/Party, Corneo, Elena/Rude, Rufus Fights) - It shouldn't be all that surprising that given the Gold Saucer is my favorite place in the entire game, the chapter where we return to it to get the maguffin to reach the climax of the sequel ends up being one of my favorite segments in the entire game. On your 2nd visit here, it's not nearly as intimidating as the initial wonder and awe of all these fun, amusement park themed sections. Still, the magic is still plainly evident. You're provoked to go ahead and do some open world activities with how each region is given additional side quests now that you're truly in the endgame. You have your full party of 7 characters to bounce off one another in wonderful interactions. As if that wasn't enough, the linear segments are phenomenal. First arriving to meet Dio beat to hell and have to set up and take on Corneo's goons again. Before a combat-heavy bit, the game does what it does best and give you a softer, quieter bit where it expands the scope and allows you to go peacefully rest. Before doing so, you'll get this notification. “One of your comrades is hoping to spend a moment alone with Cloud later this evening, complete any remaining odd jobs which feature them before you proceed." HELLLLOOOO??? I let out a "HELL YEA MAN". I wanted Aerith. Do you know who I got? BEAUTIFUL AERITH. I loved the entire section where you have the theatrical fights with Barret as Varvados and Red 13. We're denied a kiss between the two but I just love the cojones by the developers to take massive swings like this and whenever it's about the dynamics between the core party members, it's always a home run for me. I'm also proud to say I got S-rank on my first attempt. Cloud bringing up Tifa randomly while in the gondola with Aerith pissed me off. BRO YOU'RE WITH "THE" ONE WHY YOU BRINGING UP OTHER LADIES? From there, it's just straight heat through the end of the chapter. Scotch & Kotch telling Dio to shut his old ass up is a legitamate BANGER. I NEVER skipped this cutscene. It's the best in the entire game. You then have a series of fights leading up to Abzu (sewer monster from the Remake) & Corneo along with a huge fight against Elena/Rude for the 2nd time and of course, the iconic Cloud vs. Rufus rematch. I cracked the hell up at: "It's corporate downsizing with a vengeance" line by the commentors. Only rough bit is the ending where Cait Sith betrays us, Barret somehow doesn't shoot him in the face, and we're left disillusioned with the corporate cat staying loyal to the man. I could play this chapter over and over and not get bored, it's where the endgame peaks for me. (1st Playthrough - 2 1/2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 2 hours, died 1 time vs Elena/Rude, died 12 times vs Rufus) #2. Chapter 8 (The Gold Saucer, Minigames, Date w/ Tifa, Gus Prison for Party, Chocobo Race, Dyne Fight) - If my favorite chapter of the game is revisiting the Gold Saucer, my second favorite is the initial discovery of this incredible location. Listen, I'm a SUCKER for casinos and love them in movies and given Wall Market was my favorite part of the Remake, you should understand why I'm drawn in by everything this place has to offer. First, the intro to the chapter has a jawdropping cutscene where the mega-budget money. Then you have the amazing song and dance including Yuffie as a Wutai Popstar and passing out gazing at Dio's muscles. I felt bad for Barret who views it as sucking the planet dry for nonsense but uhh... brother... this stuff LOOKS SO FUN. From here you get the introduction of Cait Sith (I love the decision to go with a Scottish accent) and his adorable moogle. You make your way on down to the hotel and have the hilarious little goofs from the Tonberry robot to the fake chest. I managed to go on a little date with Tifa around the various sections and had quite a bit of fun trying out the various minigames. My only complaint would be... why not make it a proper date and have a 2-player or 1-player & CPU equivalent minigame so it felt more like a team effort than Cloud going off and playing all these games by himself while Tifa watched? We've got Barret accused of being a mass shooter. Kind of insane that they included that in the game. Like, I HAVE to think that was in the original in 1997 pre-Columbine because there's no way they would include that voluntarily in today's era. We end up with the gang getting arrested and Gus is basically like: "yo race some chocobos and get me money or I'mma pimp out your weapon" which is again, kind of insane? The Dust Bowl is a pretty neat section even if you can totally bypass it on Hard Mode as you don't need to go beef up the Chocobo with feeding it or anything on a second run through. Once you're done with that, finish 1st in the race, see Gus slap his own henchman in the victory reaction scene, and finally go confront Dyne in a 1 v. 1 as Barret. You then have a 2nd huge fight against Palmer's Anuran Supressor or whatever and a slightly crappy minigame with Barret shooting from the Buggy that is skippable on Hard Mode which suggests to me the devs knew it wasn't their strongest gameplay section. The chapter is fantastic even if it dips in quality a bit towards the end. I could not tell you how much I cracked up at Palmer telling some hoes: "you know I survived that shooting at the Gold Saucer earlier" as a way to impress them. (1st Playthrough - 4 1/2 hours, died 1 time vs Cactuar, 1 time vs Dyne. Hard Playthrough - 1 1/2 hours, died 1 time vs Dyne) #3. Chapter 6 (Costa del Sol, Johnny's Inn, Playful Minigames, Hojo Hoes and Grasptropod Fight) - It's amazing how a simple device like the wheelies can give a city town like Costa del Sol so much character and make it standout so much in my memory reflecting back upon the game. Whichever dev had the idea for the wheelies, give that guy a raise. I love them. Are they practical for interacting with stuff? No. But did I love going everywhere with them when first exploring? Absolutely. You'll get off the cruise with a bunch of the robed dudes and be encouraged to find a place to rest. With all the hotels booked, you've gotta end up at Johnny's Hole in the Wall. I did not expect HIM to return from Remake and be a big deal but hey, thanks for the place to stay, man. You'll be encouraged to have some stress free relaxation and handle some minigames around the costal paradise without your sword weighing you down. These will include an arcade shooting game as a pirate, some Queen's Blood matches, wheelie nonsense, and a fun Run Wild game. First you'll do a few of these with Cloud/Barret, then with Tifa/Aerith/Red 13. I love the game notifying you and saying: "who you control will not affect the story". They already know players were thinking to meta game. I decided to have Cloud go shirtless to the beach. Then when deciding outfits for the gals, Aerith seems like the type to wear a sundress instead of a bikini while Tifa wouldn't mind showing some more skin. Imagine me falling to my knees when I read: "Cloud and Tifa have the same taste in swimwear". DAMMIT GAME! You lured me into a false sense of security. From here, you've got the only combat section of the entire chapter after Hojo decides to send some bizarre contraption to harass the robe bros in order to impress his hoes. Lemme tell you, Cloud fighting with an umbrella gave me strong: "Kingdom Hearts 2 Sora fighting with a stick intro" energy. The Grasptropod fight was the hardest in the main game for me up until then and on Hard Mode I found it remarkably easy to evade and parry. Yuffie joining the team is how the chapter ends and I never refused her all the way out of the fear being bold enough to actually block her from joining the party. All in all, the vibes are immaculate and that's saying something given the relatively little combat in the chapter. (1st Playthrough - 1 1/2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 30 minutes, died 0 times) #4. Chapter 5 (Cruise Ship Queen's Battle Tournament, Enemy Invasion and Jenova Emergent Fight) - I LOVE the cruise ship section of the game. I nearly placed it #1 before realizing how dependent the enjoyment of the chapter is reliant on the Queen's Battle Tournament. On a 1st playthrough, it's sensational. On my Hard Mode run, I decided to ultimately skip it which causes some alterations. This was the first point on my blind run when I genuinely thought: "okay the game is hitting the peaks of the Remake and even surpassing them at points". I loved seeing Madam M and Andrea all over again. I played Aerith in the 1st Round and destroyed her 26-0. The announcer had me cracking up. "Cloud is kicking ass and taking names this tournament". I then beat Madam M in Round 2, 16-8. I conquered soyboy Chadley 18-8 in Round 3 and played Regina in the Championship Round 19-17. The game has another one of it's best cutscenes when Red 13 emerges as a soldier and does a lil Michael Jackson move. If you haven't played the game and somehow read this paragraph, you must think I'm off my rocker. It's interesting to me that the game allows you to skip the tournament. I imagine they did this for the weirdoes who hate Queen's Blood or didn't even bother to take the time to learn it. It's fun! If you do, it skips you to the Final Round where you can still play Red 13 and lose while advancing the story. You then go to rest and a bunch of mobs raid the ship at night which you'll battle before taking on the final boss, a sorta random outta nowhere Jenova Emergent. Cool boss visually. Feels quite out of place both in the moment and in hindsight. All in all, love this section even if it takes a slight hit on replays. (1st Playthrough - 2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 40 minutes, died 1 time vs Jenova Emergent) #5. Chapter 11 (Nibelheim, Exploring Old Manor Sections, Cait Sith Solo, Vincent Valentine & Roche 2nd Fight) - I remember being floored reaching Nibelheim and realizing the full gargantuan size of this game. Revisiting it built from the ground right back up after Sephiroth trashed the place was a pretty funny reason given. You'll look around the place a bit while Cait Sith types gibberish until a terminal and even go with Aerith to the spot where you used to chill with Tifa. You dawg Cloud. You'll then go down the old manor and do some exploring where you'll fight a Diabolic Variant that I just OBLITERATED on my Hard Mode playthrough. He'll kick your butt a bit on normal. I couldn't help but be annoyed at Sephiroth's: "Soon Cloud, soon". Bro has showed up some like 30 times and never actually wants to throw down. We then switch gears and play as a Cait Sith for a while. Rolling around as him is fun. Throwing the boxes with the Moogle, not smuch. Some of these bits can be hard as hell given I wasn't really accustomed to maining as him and some of those Adjucator fights kicked my ass. Once you get through Hojo's damn pass code, you'll then have some epic boss fights. First, bothering Vincent Valentine outta his coffin. He's an ex-Turk. I don't even know the original FF7 and yet I've heard his name and thought he was a badass. Fantastic fight and we sent him right back to his resting spot. The game double dips at this point and allows you to have a second solo-fight against Roche. He's a bit trickier this time around but even though he managed to make me sweat, he did not kill me. All in all, just a solid chapter offering a neat location, good boss fights, and a solid balance amongst all the party mmebers at this point. (1st Playthrough - 4 1/2 hours, died 5 times vs Adjucators, died 2 times vs Galian Beast. Hard Playthrough - 3 hours, died 1 time vs Galian Beast, 2 times vs Roche) #6. Chapter 9 (Gongaga, Visiting Old Reactor w/ Boys, then Girls, Scarlet Fight & Dumb Story Tifa) - When I reached Chapter 9 with Cait Sith's addition to the party, I took a moment to go about doing a solid amount of Corel open world intel. It felt right to get some practice with a new party member and the game gently encourages you to engage with the side content before moving onto more linear-focused segements of the chapter later on. After about 2 1/2 hours, I beat the Tonberry King, had the Protorelic King Goblin tell me "he'd call me later", and eventually kept pressing on into the Gongaga jungle. I enjoyed this section. Cissnei gives me strong "princess that Sonic would kiss on the lips" energy. I have tattoed in my brain Yuffie's whimsical, "I am so, so bored... bored right out of my brain. If I don't, die first, betcha I'll go insane." You meet Zack Fair's parents and learn him and Aerith used to have a thing. Do they still have a thing? Girl, you been riding with my Cloud in-game for 200+ hours of game at this point I don't wanna hear it. Cloud only sleeps like 3 hours before the reactor starts acting up. You head over there with boys and go through a linear dungeon section fighting goons until the boss fight against SPECIMENH0124. Then Cloud gets his head TV static again and it's time for the girls to join the fray. I love how we didn't have to do a slow ass Chocbo wrangling segment to get the Chocobos in this region. You go flying through some shrooms and get to the reactor before using grappeling hooks to go a different route. The girls then take on the Crimson Mare Mk. II controlled by Scarlet. Yuffie was my MVP. I loved playing with her by this point in the game. We then get one of the dumbest sections in the entire game with Cloud being real bloodthirsty and after killing THOUSANDS of Shinra soldiers NOW I'm supposed to feel bad because a little bit of blood sprinkles on his face. The damn developers don't let us see Tifa's alleged scar and Cloud lashes out by swinging on her throwing her into the mako pit. Tifa gets swallowed up by a giant materia fish. She relives old childhood memories. The whispers make their reappearance for the first time since the Remake over 35+ hours into the sequel which had me cracking up. Tifa gets outta there with undoubtedly some mako poisioning after Sephiroth stabs the fish and the fish stops on a dime to cough her up. We then gather our thoughts at Cissnei's house, get access to the airfield, meet Cid and his Tiny Bronco, and set off for Cosmo Canyon. A good chapter with some dumbass story bits that I find annoying even now. More on that latter. (1st Playthrough - 4 1/2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 2 1/2 hours, died 1 time vs Crimson Mare Mk. II) #7. Chapter 4 (Under Junon, Dolphin Minigame, Recruiting Shinra Soldiers+Parade, Terror of the Deep & Roche Fight) - I was a bit skeptical of the game's open-worldness up until now after the Grasslands and eh mining section but I found the game began to really pick up for me from Chapter 4 onwards. This is one of the examples of "the game gets REALLY good 10 hours in" actually applying quite well. I enjoyed the chapter starting with a banger in the Terror of the Deep Boss Fight where you save Yuffie and are surprised with the fight before resting at the inn. You then get a chance to converse with some of your party members and I love Aerith's: "All clear here officer!" after you go snooping through her room when you hear an odd voice. Yuffie then gives her backstory as a member of the Wutai Clan. She's been sent to assasinate Rufus. What an assignment. You're then interrumpted and urged to eventually go topside to normal Junon, where folks aren't so oppressed by their Shinra Corporate Overlords. This section of the game is delightful. You get up there by palling around with the Dolphin and for whatever reason, once aboard the gigantic Shinra aircraft or whatever, the soldiers don't give a damn that Cloud and the gang are up there... only sometimes? When Commander Dommy Mommy enters the fray and wants you to rally the troops of Sector 7, NOW you've gotta pretend you're not who you really are. This section is great. I'm relieved they didn't make us sneak around the place avoiding detection. I made sure to recruit all of the troops properly and love the bald bar song. It was hard as hell finding some of them because the last two groups were in some hidden off section upstairs that I passed by a hundred times. The only thing I felt odd about was wow, I had gotten really used to seeing Tifa's belly button all the time and now that she covered it up with the soldier outfit... it feels wrong. The parade scene got the BIG budget. I enjoyed it. We get an intimate cutscene with Rufus, Yuffie screws us over, we somehow manage to escape after not taking Rufus offer and him rescinding it, and you finish up escaping with some troops before fighting Roche underground in an arena. I scored 98.9k on my first attempt at the parade, 101.4k on my second Hard attempt where I got the trophy. Hell of a chapter that peaks towards the back half. Loved replaying it. Aerith's, "never regift a gift you got from another girl" advice are words to live by. (1st Playthrough - 3 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 2 1/2 hours, died 3 times vs Roche) #8. Chapter 14 (Big Finale Cloud/Aerith/Sephiroth Back Story Bits, Reunion and Goodbyes) - I think it's a slightly damning indictment that what is supposed to be the final two chapters of the sequel of this saga I found to be in the lower half in terms of enjoyability when looking at the chapters from a holisitic perspective. As they blend together, I should specify that the final chapter begins after Sephiroth cuts off the black tree branch or whatever and sends you and Aerith hurling into the abyss or whatever. You're given some flashback with some fake ass choices in Cloud/Aerith/Zack dream mode and continue onwards. After making your way through a little forest section, you'll continue on as Cloud alone and have the "make your final preparations" pop-up before progressing to the final boss fights of the entire game. This will include an incredibly lengthy Jenova Lifeclinger fight which will jump between Cloud and Zack fighting Sephiroth, Cloud fighting by himself, 3 party members fighting, Zack fighting by himself, 3 other party members fighting, while even dabbling in a Bahamut Arisen miniboss amongst all of that. Thank goodness for checkpoints on Hard Mode but I thankfully didn't die once on normal. From here, it's the battle you've bene waiting 60 hours to fight. Cloud & Aerith vs.... Sephiroth. He was denied stabbing Aerith earlier in the biggest spoiler in all of gaming and thanks to his presience, thwarted his efforts this go-around. In the 2 v. 1, he killed me the first time with a Heartless Angel that left me crestfallen, he killed me a second time with a nasty Octoslash, and I only beat him a 3rd time thanks to an ungodly clutch Sorceress Storm by Aerith. GAME OVER! From here you've got the classic "he knows it isn't over" because duh, there's a 3rd game already in the oven! Rufus shoots Glenn. We end up in some plains and leave Aerith in a valley while the rest of the gang gets in Cid's Tiny Bronco? "No Promises Await at Journey's End" Huh? Rolling credits? So... Aerith didn't die. We altered the timeline. I have that understood from Tifa's flashback changes and such. But I'd be lying if I said I totally understood everything that transpired. All in all, while at the end of my 1st playthrough I confessed I didn't enjoy it as much as the Remake with all the "bad" elements, I still loved this game. On a replay, it's pretty good focusing on the boss fights. (1st Playthrough - 2 1/2 hours, died 2 times vs Sephiroth. Hard Playthrough - 2 hours, died 3 times vs Jenova Lifeclinger, died 1 time vs Sephiroth) #9. Chapter 13 (Cetra Temple, Red Dragon Fight, Lore Backstory and Racing the Turks Big Fight, Black Materia Nonsense) - Chapter 13 properly starts when you sail out towards the Cetra Temple and receive the "you will not be able to return after landing" warning. Here you'll have what I believe is the longest, continuous fighting section in the entire game with Cloud and friends battling an endless onslaught of Shinra soldiers, from grenadiers to flamethrowers to riot troopers to super soldiers. Afterwards, you'll enter the temple and fight the Red Dragon which is a decent fight. I didn't love for the second time the game pulled the: "oh god oh no the super soldier is pleading for his life and Cloud killed him and now blood splatters on his face and Tifa shrieks CLOUD STOP" card. It sucked the 1st time. It sucked the 2nd time. We've killed THOUSANDS of these dudes and NOW I'm supposed to feel bad? We then get a super annoying navigation section where you can turn the ceiling into the floor and the floor into the ceiling. I got lost multiple times accidentally going for side content and then backtracking the wrong way. You'll play as Cloud/Tifa/Barret and Aerith/Yuffie/Red 13 while alternating back and forth. Playing as Aerith with her gimmicky life spirit nonsense wasn't great. We then get some story heavy segments with learning about each of the gang's background. Red 13's is horrifying being strapped down for Hojo experimentation. Baby Aerith crying for help for her mommy wasn't good. We then fight some Demon Gates which was a decent boss fight before Cloud snags the black materia, temple starts collapsing, and oh hey whaddya know Cait Sith comes rushing in, holds it together, fakes his death, comes right back. Never bought him dying for a SECOND. Stupidly anime. Unfortunatly, we then get the STUPIDEST scene in the entire game which is... Cloud has the black materia, Barret takes it, tosses that shit away, and then "OH GOD OH NO SEPHIROTH HAS IT NOW". What the hell are you doing, game? I don't blame Barret for being a dumbass. I blame the developers for making your story look stupid as hell. Cloud got a lil mind control from Sephiroth going after Aerith and boom, cut branch ends the chapter. I think you could argue this is a bottom 3 chapter in all honesty between the dumbass story bits and some of the annoying movement mechanics between the separate parties but I liked the 4 Turks fight a lot so it saves it a bit. (1st Playthrough - 4 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 3 hours, died 1 time vs Red Dragon, died 1 time vs Admantoise, died 3 times vs Demon Gates) #10. Chapter 10 (Cosmo Canyon, Bugenhagen Educates Us, Barret/Red 13 Watcher, Village of the Gi Black Materia) - I oddly look back on Chapter 10 fairly negatively and I can't fully articulate completely why. Cosmo Canyon is a pretty interesting place. You arrive and you quickly get accliminated with the hippie mentality which is at the heart of the entire settlement. I loved the fact I stumbled upon a Queen's Blood player who communicated via Sign Language. That's... the first time I've ever seen sign language referenced in a video game. That's honestly a bit insane. You'll meet Bugenhagen and Red 13's voice change from a gruff badass to sounding like a prebuescent bitch was not something I enjoyed. The fact he was stuck that way for the remainder of the game probably contributed to my overall distaste. Bugenhagen then gives us a whole background on planetology and the lifestream and calls us some dumbasses when we make some suggestions that are, in his eyes, idiotic. He basically dunked on Tifa. We then have this tiki torch ceremony and Yuffie reveals she's an atheist. After encouraging Aerith, we then get a questionable section with Red 13 / Barret. Red 13's gimmick is being able to run up green walls for some reason. It's a bit nonsensical and contrived but at least it wasn't slow or agonizing so I can't complain. You fight Gi Nattak at the end of this section and when it killed me I was wildly embarassed. That was the first proper boss to finally kill me on my normal playthrough. From there we got into a boat with some Gi Nattak bro and he basically called the Cetra racist. Finally, we make our way through the Village of the Gi, get a request to return the black materia, basically say "sure thing bro" before zooming outta there. Even upon replay, far from one of the more enjoyable chapters but I wouldn't call it bad either. (1st Playthrough - 3 1/2 hours, died 2 times vs Gi Nattak, died 1 time vs Gi Lancers. Hard Playthrough - 2 hours, died 0 times) #11. Chapter 7 (Yuffie Joins Party, Mt. Corel Ascent, Old Reactor, Yuffie Solo Grapplehook, Barret Backstory, Gigatrice Fight) - Going through my notes, I'm starting to realize why I remember Chapter 7 taking a dip back in quality after the thrill ride that was Chapters 4-6. One of the reasons is that I spent 5 1/2 hours going and doing all of Under Junon's world intel and side content. This killed the pacing a bit. We then have one of the more forgettable sequences of the entire game which is shortly after adding Yuffie and going up Mt. Corel where the parties splinter off and we end up with Aerith & Red 13 w/ Cloud. This section isn't bad... I just don't remember much from it and didn't find a lot to write about even when replaying it. It's just fine. The boss fight against the Custom Valkyrie is pretty good. We then get a sight of the nuked to hell Corel reactor which is an incredible visual. Cloud gets one of his typical headaches and the party splits again, this time rolling with Yuffie/Tifa/Barret. I enjoyed some of these bits but I also found myself getting lost and not knowing where to go up and down with Yuffie. One of the grapplehooks particularly when ascending was impossible for me to find and had me looking around helplessly for a solid 10 minutes. I refused to look up a guide and eventually found it. I died for the 1st time in the entire game in a normal story sequence in the 1 on 1 fight against the bomb as Yuffie. I then stupidly went back down the elevator not seeing the obvious door path to the final boss fight of the chapter against the Gigatrice. It's aight. Not super memorable. The best part of the chapter is honestly Barret's sincere backstory regarding some of what went down in Corel and why he's now a pariah. Oddly enough, despite me being incredibly annoyed when the game gets overly sappy at times, Barret's narration here was stellar. It felt real, it felt profound, and it's one of the moments where the emotional heartstrings being pulled actually landed as perfectly acceptable to me. (1st Playthrough - 5 hours, died 1 time vs Bomb. Hard Playthrough - 2 hours, died 0 times) #12. Chapter 2 (Kalm Town, First Open World/Side Quest Bits, Chocobo, Midgardsormr Fight) - Chapter 2 gives you the first proper reins of control to navigate about a small town and begin learning some of the side content. It introduces you to Queen's Blood, so that automatically disqualifies it from possibly being the worst chapter in the game. You'll get your first taste of some important dialogue options with some of your companions. After climbing up the Clock Tower with Aerith, Shinra will invade and you'll have to scamper away through some rooftops, underground, and make your way to the first open world section in the Grasslands. I had a mix of awe and: "damn this game is gonna be HUUUUGE, isn't it?" pass through my brain. From here you're urged to go to a farm to obtain a Chocobo to make it through a swamp and finally fight Midgardsormr which is a huge ass snake plaguing the region. On my blind playthrough, I did ALL of the world intel before advancing. I had totally forgotten why we had bothered to get the Chocobos in the first place. This was the correct decision in terms of 100% completion. It was the wrong decision in terms of my enjoyment and making the pace of the game feel steady. I found upon replaying it that the worst aspect of all is being forced to wrangle the Chocobo again. Otherwise, you can blaze through it insanely quickly without side content to hold you back. (1st Playthrough - 6 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 2 hours, died 1 time vs Midgardsormr) #13. Chapter 3 (Linear Mines Segment Cloud & Gals, Barret/Red 13, Elena/Rude & Mythril Guardian Fights) - The mines is easily one of the shortest chapters in the entire game alongside the Cruise Ship section. Here, FF7 Rebirth decides to turn the clock back to FF7 Remake for the first time and give you a healthy amount of combat with splintered combat parties. First you'll enter and fight some Turks in Elena/Rude. Yanno, the guy who kicked your ass a fair bit outside Aerith's home back in Remake. Elena replaces Reno after he was sent on vacation. You'll then pal around with Cloud and the gals moving minecarts before reconnecting maining as Barret and Red 13 shooting some blue crystals before ultimately fighting the Materia Guardian. It's extremely straightforward. It's also not great and feels like one of the weaker sections of the entire game. Replaying it did make me appreciate Tifa's dumbassery uttering "assholes" which exposes us to the Turks in the first place. Elena also threw a GRENADE at us which we just sort of casually ignore whenever we decide to not kill anybody bad ever in this game. (1st Playthrough - 1 1/2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 50 minutes, died 3 times vs Mythril Guardian) #14. Chapter 1 (Reconnecting with the Gang, Cloud/Sephiroth 5 Years Back, Prestige Segments) - Is it a good thing if the weakest part of your entire game is the opening, in my opinion? On one hand, it suggests that the game only gets better from there. I'll admit that upon initially playing it, it definitely didn't FEEL like a weak opening. I was just thrilled to be back with this cast of characters again. You'll get a feel for the combat and Cloud all over and start triple slashing dudes before ya know it. You also have the marvelous surprise of Sephiroth being a playable character. It's fun to absolutely annihilate enemies with his moveset. Unfortunatly, the end of the chapter is a HUGE slog as the game no longer has the element of surprise in its favor of keeping the player guessing about what's going to happen next. Crawling while holding L2+R2 through a burned down Nibelheim in my Hard playthrough was excruciating. In essence, Sephiroth wasn't such a bad guy, he was just chilling with us and Tifa, and then he started reading a bunch of old books in a manor and became Hitler. That's why we've gotta burn the books. A message brought to you by Ron DeSantis. I'm sorry. Where the hell was I? This chapter-by-chapter breakdown hopefully replicated the tortuous busywork found in the entire final half of Chapter 1. (1st Playthrough - 2 hours, died 0 times. Hard Playthrough - 1 hour, died 0 times) Gee Cloud, you wanna know why Sephiroth keeps kicking your ass? Because you're going at him with a Buster sword w/ two green materia. Get some blues and purples in that bad boy and you'll wipe the floor with him. Why I Love this Game - Having considered the full breadth and scope of the game, I finally feel comfortable expressing in a clear fashion what makes this game so unlike any other out on the market. It's why I'm willing to forgive even some of the more egregious grievances you'l find in the following section. The Combat - I'm not familiar with how the average action fan views FF7's combat system or how the original turn-based RPG fan views the creative decisions taken with it. I can only view it the way I myself personally enjoy it and I would argue you'd be hardpressed to find a better system in AAA than the one we have here. It's just a bloody good time. Typically, you'll have Cloud and 2 other party members to bounce off at all times. The trick is to sufficiently bounce around the 3 of them to build up ATB commands (achieved slowly from running away, achieved more rapidly by inflicting damage on the enemy) and selecting the correct ATB commands to do mammoth damage. Sometimes this is found in character-specific commands such as Cloud's Triple Slash or Barret's Focused Shot. Other times it's achieved by exploiting an enemy weakness to an element such as wind and utilizing that to get the enemy into a pressurized state. From there, use focus moves with your gang to knock the enemy into a staggered state and unleash devastation as it takes at 160% damage as you wail away on it like a piñata. They managed to introduce 3 additional full character movesets into the game that are surprisingly coherent (Red 13's melee-inclined build with Vengeance Mode, Yuffie offering elemental magic damage from afar with her shuriken and still being a threat up close, and Cait Sith's unique blend of an additional companion that can draw heat while Cait does damage from afar) Combine all these factors with the newly introduced "Synergy Abilities" which feel AMAZING to pull off and you have a pretty damn robust combat system that I'm not even bored of after 150+ hours. My point is this, if the combat was bad or turn-based, I could still find myself enjoying these games but to a far lesser degree. If the combat was average, I'd think the game was still pretty great. Thanks to the combat being excellent, I love the simple act of playing these games over again. The Characters - Usually, if the combat in a game is stellar, I can enjoy it even if the characters and surrounding story are dogwater. (See: Neon White, which while not combat-focused, that is one of my favorite games of All-Time simply due to how sublime the moment-to-moment gameplay is). I've played huge RPGs with casts of characters I love. Dragon Quest 11 and Persona 5 being chief among them. Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is of that ilk becuase it has a core that is capable of going toe-to-toe with those cores. You're already familiar with Cloud, Aerith, Barret, & Tifa. I could hangout with them all day, and quite frequently, given the 150+ hours poured into the game, one could argue I already have. What amazes me about the game is... dammit, they were actually able to pull it off with even MORE characters being added to the party. I didn't think they could. Ni No Kuni 1 failed in this regard. I remember playing with the boy Ollie, the belly-dancer looking girl, and the older dude. Do you know who I NEVER added to my party and damn near forgot he existed? That Wizard bro or whatever that gets added as a 4th playable character way in the late game. That dude sat on the bench and I NEVER made him enter my lineup because why the hell would I? I've been with X characters for 50+ hours. You just joined. What gives you priority over them? I expected the same to happen in this game. My fear was being annoyed at Yuffie taking some shine away from Aerith/Tifa and just being pissed off the game has given a different focus and nah... it works. It all works. I love Yuffie. She's ridiculous. She's a goofdball. She's extremely childish. But her immaturity actually plays off well with an otherwise super serious cast. Her animations are amazing. Her mannerisms are adorable. I did have a brief note in early Chapter 10 where I wrote: "so much yuffie here… why have Aerith/Tifa and the rest of the cast been relegated so hard?" but I recognize in hindsight a fair amount of that had to deal with a certain # of side quests I did in order that just so happened to highlight her relationship. As for Cait Sith, I also really like him! Did I find his betrayl a bit forced only for him to repent on it within less than a chapter? 100%. But he has a delightful character design and I adore the creative decision to make him Scottish. The game knows this core cast is their strength and it's why the game has an entire playlog section dedicated to how well you're developing your relationship with them between what you say in dialogue decisions, how you handle odd jobs, hell, how often you use synergy abilities with them in combat. I applaud them for leaning into it and I would have 100% completed all of their relationships if yanno, there was a trophy tied to it or something. Otherwise, I'm content at having almost all of them at 90%+. The Yakuza 0 Mix - I mentioned earlier that if you put a gun to my head to describe Rebirth without referencing the Remake, I would say "Horizon Forbidden West+Yakuza 0". I'm almsot certain the Forbidden West comparison came as soon as I stepped into the lush open world and saw you had to click triangle to gather resources and I was transformed back to my berry-picking days with Aloy. What about the Yakuza 0 comparison, especially as somebody who has never actually played Yakuza 0? Well for your information, I've seen 2 full playthroughs of the game from NicoB to Joseph Anderson. Hell, I've read every review @Copanele has done on the Yakuza series in his trophy cabinet. That officially places me at afficionado status. You could argue I'm more in tune with the game's soul than people who have played the bloody game just once are. The common theme between the two is this. You have a protagonist in an extremely serious set of circumstances (Cloud, mercenary with the end of the world looming / Kiryu, low-level thug in the seedy underworld life of the Japanese mafia) and yet the game manages to bounce between the weight of these real circumstances and the goofiness and delight still found in common day-to-day activities. (Cloud, Honeybee Inn Dancing in a Dress / Kiryu, singing Bakimitai at Karaoke) The game is willing to heavily lean into these portions and each adds a smorgasbord of minigames to further highlight this element amidsts an eclectic supporting cast that you soon grow to love over your many tens of hours playing the game. It's extremely common in these games for people to argue that the side quests and shenanigans are more memorable than the main story itself. When I think of Yakuza 0, I'll confess that I think of karaoke and the "How to Train Your Dominatrix" side quest before anything with Kuze and actually climbing the ranks of the Yakuza. I'm tempted to say the same thing for Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. While I understand the motivation between the entire game is about stopping Sephiroth, my fondest memories with this title are going to be tied to the Gold Saucer and battling our friends in some matches of Queen's Blood aboard a cruise ship. I want more games like these. I understand they cost a bajillion dollars to make and there's so few of them because they're so difficult to create but really, games industry, this is what players want even if they haven't been able to articulate it so wonderfully as I have. Why I Hate this Game - It's the moment you've all been waiting for. Negativity sells more than positivity and while I have been fairly glowing up until now, it's about damn time we got to some of the elements found in this game that quite frankly... aren't any good. They need to be called out. For posterity. Forgive me, Tetsuya. Stupid Ass Zack Story Bits - I'm sorry guys. I tried to give Zack Fair a fair shake and sort of kept these opinions to myself when they kept infrequently popping up throughout the main story but I can't hold it in anymore. Who the hell's idea was this? These bits are TERRIBLE. Perhaps I'm missing something. Maybe if you played the original Final Fantasy 7, you're super intrigued to see what direction they go with his story. I understand it's supposed to fill in some of the events pre-Rebirth and post-Remake. He traverses a lot of the old ground we went through extensively in the Remake from Aerith's old house to interacting with Biggs in the slums. But these sections simply aren't good. The game never actually managed to get me to care about his character. I imagine some fans don't need that incentive given by the game because it's cool to learn more about a character that died in a previous timeline of the franchise. I don't know that timeline. So he's just another guy to me. He didn't have an engaging personality and it felt like such an irrelevant element to a story I was on the whole enjoying outside of some utterly ridiculous nonsense bits. If you think I'm wrong, I urge you to wonder why the hell Square Enix allows players to straight up SKIP all of these scenes with an option found in "Extra Settings". If the developers thought these bits were awesome, they wouldn't have made them skippable. It's why they don't let you skip entire combat scenarios to get to the next story bit. Perhaps there was something insightful here for other players who found it as a sweet bonus, I was largely just left annoyed and relieved whenever we got back to the good part(Yanno, playing as Cloud and the gang). Slow Trash Gameplay Variety Sections - Allow me to rip off every example of annoying slowness found in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. 1) Every climbing section in the entire game. These do not feel good. It's too slow. I'm sure somebody out there has blamed Uncharted for this. I played Uncharted: Lost Legacy. The climbing is pretty good and quick when you hold down R2. In Rebirth, it's not. I did laugh my ass off at Barret's elaborate climbing with one arm in Chapter 3. Bro should do this competitively he's soo good at it. That's with no harness! 2) L2+R2 depressuring the pods in Chapter 1 bloody FIVE times. Really? The magical three wasn't enough? 3) The entire Nibelheim burning down limping / crawling section. It feels insanely amateur hour and straight up goofy how painfully slow pressing L2 and R2 are as Sephiroth slices up the townsfolk. 4) Every Chocbo wrangling section in the entire game. These are abysmal. It's so slow. It's so sluggish. I would have screamed and probably rage quit for the day if I ever accidentlaly selected retrying from the beginning rather than from the checkpoint whenever a Chocobo caught me and I failed the attempt. This is an outstanding way to make players hate their Chocobos and build resentment from their onwards. 5) Cleaning up Mako leakage with a vacuum cleaner in Chapter 1. Who is this for? 6) Moving the minecarts around in Chapter 3. This isn't terrible, but it's far from good. 7) Throwing the boxes with the Moogle in Cait Sith's Chapter 11. It doesn't feel good. Do you notice how I didn't complain about Yuffie's grapplehook or Red 13's climbing up green walls gimmicks? Because they aren't stagnant and monontonous. This IS. #8. Aerith's gathering the little green lifestream specks in Chapter 13. Why can't you just give this thing a huge radius, developers? Why do I have to scamper over an hold triangle for a few seconds EVERY single time? You're making me not enjoy playing as Aerith and that's a sin worse than murder. These are just the examples I cared to call out. You have more terrible Cloud climbing in Chapter 11 AND Chapter 14. I understand wanting to convey a certain weight and gravity to the situation but this is not the way to do it in 2024. I tolerated it the first time around. I loathed it the second time around. It takes away from the solmeness of these moments and a more unforgiving player will have a field day dunking on these moments as they're not as attached to the characters as I am. As for the variety gameplay sections, I understand not all of them are going to be good, persay(see: Barret's buggy shooting) but I can be a lot more forgiving if the variety sections don't bring the pace to a standstill. Far too many of these did. Open World Navigation Jank - This is something insepid found at the heart of the open world exploration when I began, and I didn't realize it until I found myself back in the linear sections of the game. Yet by the time I had spent 30ish hours with the title, it slipped to the back of my mind and virtually vanished as I had been trained by the game what and what not to do. I think the developers made a mistake not letting us jump, at the very least in the open world segments. This isn't the first time this subject has come up. Look at any God of War 2018 or Ragnarok discussion online. You'll find it. The core flaw of this is quite eloquently covered in "Interaction Isn't Explicit", a game I played earlier this year. It makes the characters feel like they're glued to the floor of the world they're living in. This isn't so bad and noticable in Remake as the vast majority of the game is quite linear and spaces aren't so opened so the clausterophobic nature actually makes it so the player is far less inclined to have the urge to jump. But oh lord, in the Rebirth, that yearning to leap abounds, and goddamn if it isn't frustrating not having that ability. Here I am in these wonderful, lush, magnificent landscapes, and instead of being able to go wherever I please like I'm playing Skyrim, I'm reliant on the game's snapping land detection system to more or less interpret where I want to go at all times if there's ever any elevation in the terrain. Early on, I strongly disliked it. I found myself not enjoying the open world sections as much for this region and found it to be such a damn shame. Thankfully, the more I played, the more I adapted to what the game was tailored to offer and found myself less inclined to jump 30+ hours in, before totally forgetting about the issue before reviewing the game and passing back through all of my old notes. Unfortunatly, I have no doubt if I were able to go play a bunch of different games for several hundred hours and come back to this in a few years time, I would find myself annoyed all over again at how much the game limits the player's freedom of movement. It's something you'll have to learn to live with if you want to have a good time. Story Anime Bullshit (Pt. 1) - Allow me to rip off one of the biggest reasons I found some of the story cutscenes grating. Nobody Ever Dies - I'm not talking about Aerith. I'm sure the discussion revolving the ending and her death to non-death has been plentiful. I'm talking about everybody else. I don't know the original, but was it just like this? Because it feels insanely goofy. How the hell are we constantly facing the bad guys all the time (Palmer, Scarlet, Rufus, the Turks, etc...) and NOBODY ever actually... dies? Why is it that Barret, an eco-terrorist who was willing to blow up a damn sector, now talks about only "roughing up" Rufus in Chapter 4? What does that solve, Barret? Are you about the planet's long-term health or NOT you slacktivist? Who is the most significant character to even die in the game? It would be Cait Sith but he has infinite lives cuz he's a corporate machine. Did Tseng die? Is it the mayor of Corel? Is it Nibelheim's mayor? Because if it is, those are some pretty pathetic selections out of 60hr+ game. I wrote in my notes "Everybody is Batman" because not only are our protagonists incapable of killing, it feels like the villains are too? I understand why the game has Sephiroth occasionally pop up to remind Cloud: "hey bro I own you" but when that TV head static happens for the 70th time and bro is still like: "not yet, soon" it comes across as ridiculous. I understand this is a video game and he needs to show up and be the final boss fight. But goddamn man. What the hell is Sephiroth doing while we're out here playing arcade games at the Gold Saucer? I'm not asking for the game to be Game of Thrones. I just... when nobody ever dies, it never feels like there are any stakes, and that has a long-term poisonous effect on the overall narrative. Story Anime Bullshit (Pt. 2) - Here are all of the moments in the story that I just did not comprehend what or why something had happened. 1) I don't quite know how we jumped from being stretchered out on helicopters and Cloud/Aerith recuperating with Zack to being in Kalm. I'll freely admit I may have missed this and it's not too big of a deal but I made a point of it in my notes. 2) Following these black robe dudes as an excuse to provoke us to go to each region of the world feels eh. They're just funny. Constantly groaning and everything. Yet, they're somehow able to navigate past water and even book cruise line tickets. I thought it was hilarious when they arrived in Costa del Sol they were accused of scaring the hoes. 3) Why don't any of the Shinra guards care when we're freely running aboard the aircraft? First we're not allowed to explore the open world out of fear they'll spot us. Now they don't care? But then magically they do around certain important personnel and we have to transform into disguises? If the simple answer is: "yea, we didn't want to turn the Chocobo stealth sequence into an entire half a level" that's a good enough excuse for me thank god they didn't go down that route. 4) The entire conclusion of Chapter 9 Cloud/Tifa sequence. Good grief this bit is painful. Aside from the ludonarrative dissononace of finally caring about killing Shinra soldiers, why did they make Cloud attacking Tifa feel so contrived? Him slashing at her only for a few moments later to regret and scream: "TIFA!!!!!" made me cringe. I hate cringing. We're never actually shown Tifa's scar as I presume we probably would have had to see hella titties? 5) Cait Sith's betrayl and repentance a chapter later. The reason he gives is: "oh, I thought the Cetra temple/materia would do bad things to you guys and I'd rather it happened to them rather than to you guys." Seriously? 6) Barret tossing the black materia away from Cloud's hand towards the end of Chapter 13. Forgive my language, this is some of the dumbest shit I've ever seen in any story ever. I'm sorry. We know how important the black materia is. We know what we sacrificed to get here. We nearly died with the temple collapsing to get out with it. Yet the developers strip Barret of all his agency and make him commit one of the most idiotic acts imaginable just to move the plot forward and put the materia into Sephiroth's hands. I know some, perhaps most, players won't even care. I need you to understand this isn't me nitpicking. When dumbass nonsense like this allows characters to become mere tools for whatever the story tellers want to happen next, you strip your character's of all agency. They're no longer people. They're just vessels to do the things you want them to do to move to the next plot point. It makes everything pointless. It is very, very bad. I am not exaggerating. If loving Queen's Blood is wrong, I don't want to be right. The Pointlessly Nitty Gritty - I'd now like to dedicate some time to some of the more technical or meticiulous aspects of my enjoyment with the game. Consider this section a grab bag regarding a variety of my thoughts from combat, to minigames, to just general observations while playing throughout the story. My Combat Preferences - I'd like to include these for posterity's ake. For Cloud, I obviously loved utilizing punisher mode when I knew I didn't have to dive away or evade an attack from an enemy. I found Triple Slash to be less OP than it was in Remake and found myself using a wider variety of commands, ultimately settling for Infinity's End when I wanted to obliterate an enemy stuck in staggered mode. I love Barret as a compliment to Cloud give his ability to do heavy damage from range. Overcharge is as lovely as ever. Maximum Fury / Focused Shot were my go-to's almost always and I liked having Barret as a healer for whatever reason. Tifa's fantastic. Not great for every fight but on of the most satisfying combos in the entire game is a Whirling Uppercut followed by an immediate selection of the ATB Divekick as since she's already up in the air, she doesn't have to waste time winding up the animation for the jump. Using True Strike to increase that enemy stagger % also feels sensational. Aerith is all about jumping between Arcane Ward + Radiant Ward, keeping party health topped off, and trying to avoid getting focused on by enemies since I never enjoyed dodging/guarding with her. Red 13 was quite honestly my least favorite character to play as. He's another melee-focused build and while he's not bad, I hardly ever felt obliged to play as him instead of Tifa if that's what my party needed. I'll admit, I also didn't put a ton of effort into learning his moveset in-depth. On the other hand, I love Yuffie. Getting free elemental damage to exploit without having to use MP is a lifesaver and she has a versatility rarely offered by other characters. Finally, there's Cait Sith who I only truly appreciated after learning to use him after doing his Legendary Bout in the Combat Simulator. I learned the value of the moogle and found the uppercut move insanely OP so much so that I got the 300% stagger trophy by just playing as him organically. In terms of my favorite materias, you are legally obligated to put Fire & Ice on Cloud. Poison & Petrify is amazing when combined with a blue Warding materia for some of the more annoying fights in the game. I found Comet/Empowerment/Fortification/Disempowerment/Enervation to be pointless but maybe I just never found a proper build for them. Elemental & Magnify are amazing but you already know this. Chakra's great for Hard Mode as you use your MP incredibly scarcely. HP & MP Up's got equipped as soon as I obtained them. I love First Strike & Precision Defense Focus. Ranking Minigames Content (Pt. 1) - There are 16 minigames to be found in Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth. A handful of these overlap with the Protorelics I covered earlier in the "World Intel" section but allow me to speak about all of them more extensively here. In fact, let's rank them! 16) Cactuar Crush. Look at this unbelievably clutch Sorceress Storm, man. If I had failed this, I'm almost certain I would have thrown my controller against the wall. I just don't understand. Why put a timed segment around Aerith? Yuffie makes sense. She's fast, she has a quick ranged attack, she can use doppelganger and windstorm to do massive AOE damage. But Aerith? Why oh why? Couldn't you have chosen something more tranquil? 15) Jumpfrog. This is janky as hell. Your frog feels like it's in space sometimes with the long gravity on the jump. It's not unforgivably bad. Eventually, with enough persistence you'll hit the necessary time to qualify for the highest rank but I would have preferred racing against some of the other frogs on an obstacle course rather than staying stagnant trying to last a certain length of time. 14) Chocobo Gliding. I had to look up a guide for this. The pathing and movement feels extremely unintuitive and there are accusations by players that it wasn't play-tested. I wouldn't go that far. I just think we'll all concede this little minigame is going to get far less polish than many other main story elements. 13) G-Bikes. This is fine. It's a rehash of one of the segments found at the end of the Remake before one of the final bosses. It's just aight and thankfully I didn't install the patch until after completing this and finishing the Party Animal side quest. 12) Fort Condor. I had to use this strategy guide for the Hard Mode as I was getting my ass handed to me otherwise. Normal Mode it was fine with some simple unit/resource management and strategizing. 11) Gears and Gambits. Almost the exact same criticsm as Fort Condor. On Normal Mode, it wasn't too elaborate and just required some prioritization and exploitation of elements. On Hard, I had to follow this entire bloody customization set-up for all of my little units. 10) Galactic Survivors. Quite straightforward and never gave me much hassle. I'm almost positive I get the highest score on my first attempt on all the difficulties. 9) Crunch-Off. A return of the Wall Market minigame from the Remake. It was fun to kick Jules' ass again. I loved the added annoyance of the buttons switching up each reset. It took me 25 minutes worth of attempts but I kept a cool head and prevailed. Ranking Minigames Content (Pt. 2) - #8. 3D Brawler. This is the introductory minigame taught to you at the Gold Saucer. Thankfully, there's a hilarious exploit I discovered organically. Just pause the game whenever the enemy brawler is winding up for their move. If you know the necessary input, just hold it down on the stick when you click resume and your character will almost always dodge flawlessly. Otherwise, I would have been here MUCH longer learning how to keep up with the CPU's assaults. 7) Desert Rush. Another throwback to the box challenge found in the slums with the kids in Remake. Fun, but I had to use a guide to get the path down for Challenging Mode. 6) Pirate's Rampage. A good simple shooting minigame that is easy to follow and doesn't have any annoying elements. What more could you ask for? 5) Dolphin Racing. Another straightforward racing minigame that challenges players to stay on a steady path gathering ballons to keep your speed up and make it to the finish line. Simple, sweet fun. 4) Run Wild. I sorta love this minigame even if it's a bit janky. The game utilizes Red 13's speed and agility well for a fun game of soccer battling against a Chocobo and some other creatures. I thought it was funny when it felt like I was getting targeted by all the AI once. Took a few attempts on Hard Mode but you'll get it and I liked how this was the rare minigame that played to a character's strengths, rather than yanno, their weaknesses(cough Cactuar Crush). 3) Chocobo Racing. There's an entire section of the Gold Saucer dedicated to this and it only makes sense with how prevalent Chocobos are marketed. I rarely ever lost. There wasn't much rhyme or reason to my set-up other than try to maximize speed/acceleration with the gear and then gather balloons and avoid hitting any obstacles. Just good mindless fun. 2) Piano playing. Why is this so good? I loved the music and themes emphasized. I legitamately got emotional playing Tifa's theme in the hotel in Chapter 6. Sure some of the songs will give you more hassle than others but persistence is key and I found muting the TV completely helped me get S-rank on the hardest songs. My only complaint would be... seriously Square? After gathering 88 items for Johnny's hotel, my reward is a goddamn music sheet for One-Winged Angel? I imagine I enjoyed the piano minigame more than most and even I thought that was a wack ass reward. My Love of Queen's Blood - Was there ever any doubt? You knew what the #1 minigame was going to be this entire time. I love crap like this. I got giddy when playing Horizon Forbidden West and realized it had Machine Strike. When I saw FF7 Rebirth had their own version of Witcher 3's Gwent I let out a: "oh hell yea they're going the full ten yards with this". What helps is... yo... I think it's a pretty awesome minigame! The collection aspect is fun. I love how the game plays on its silliness with some of the many wacky characters you'll come across in the various regions. You'll play a dog in Corel and some boy will say he's gonna play on TV soon. Then you'll come across a Chocobo who plays Queen's Blood and their wrangler will say yea, he's kind of a big deal, he's gonna play a dog on TV next month. DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CALL THAT? Immersive storytelling that makes a game feel alive and connected. The fact those moments come tens of hours apart is brilliant. I love the boss matchups you'll need to complete in order to go up a certain rank. I'll admit I didn't have the most diverse strategy. My mentality was this: "This is a game of real estate above all else. Get your cards into the opponent's territory as soon as possible and there will be little they can do to compete when it compares to overall power levels". This strategy worked for 90% of the game. Of course, in some of the endgame challenges such as the endurance match 5-rounds in the Gold Saucer, I had to use a guide. It makes sense. Use cards that get you more cards so that when you're no longer getting new ones in Rounds 4 and 5, you can still actually compete with the CPU. All in all, I give the devs a round of applause for this creative decision and leaning into it with examples such as the tournament found in Chapter 5 and it being a running theme throughout the entire game. Miscallenous Thoughts - I'm just going to word vomit for a paragraph about some of the more keen observations I had about the game throughout my entire time with it. 1) I thought Zangan was going to be a WAY bigger part of the story after his introduction. 2) Why does Aerith sleep in pajamas, while Tifa sleeps in her same sweaty athletic outfit that she wears all the time? She even keeps her black straps on. Speaking of which, 3) Why the hell do we only get 4 outfit options in the postgame? Allow me to explain. Basically, you get the default look, Cloud/Aerith/Tifa all get their Soldier get-up from Chapter 4, and then they just get two beach outfits? Why couldn't Tifa's Cowboy outfit have been an option regardless of how ridiculous it looks? I understand these designs would have needed to be curated for all cutscenes (on second thought lmao nah I put on Yuffie's Moogle disguise and had to take that thing off because it was spazzing out in every cutscene) but it feels like a bit more variety could have been offered rather than just showing some salacious skin(I'm kidding, guys). 4) I hated Red 13's voice change from Chapter 10 onwards. He went from sounding like a badass to a bitch. Mickey Mouse ass voice. 5) How the hell does Cloud know what to type in at every terminal? I understood Cait Sith, he's a robot of the company. But Cloud? Oh, just because he's an ex-Soldier he knows how EVERY terminal works? Does Shinra not believe in usernames and passcodes? No wonder every reactor blows up after a few years of use. 6) How the hell was "auto-pickup" open world items not selected as on by default? I played through the entire main game before realizing this was an option in clean-up mode. It made the next 100 hours of the game much more enjoyable. Okay, that's enough of the potshot observations. It's time for the home stretch boys and girls. I do not even want to get into how many attempts this took. First I hit the wall on Bahamut. Then I hit the wall on Odin. I don't feel like I'm exaggerating when I say I was here for 10+ hours worth of attempts. To Platinum, to Suffer - I have to hand it to Square Enix. I'm glad they did not make this a baby platinum like so many other Sony exclusive details. It would have short-changed what is a widlly generous game that deserves to be enjoyed to the fullest. After completing the main story, I took a minor glance at the trophy guide to see what the damage would be on my overall play-time. Imagine my shock when I realized the guide was suggesting I had barely crossed the 1/4 point in what would be my platinum journey. Of course, this time estimate did not prove to be totally accurate. I achieved the platinum at 160 hours according to in-game time so it was closer to 40% completion but hey. What exactly was so time consuming? Well, playing through the main story is a healthy time commitment in its own right. Then you're talking about doing all of the world intel / side quests in each region. These will vary as some of these are larger than others but 4-5 hours is a healthy estimate for each zone, and there are 6 major regions(Grasslands, Junon, Corel, Gongaga, Cosmo Canyon, Nibelheim). Then once you're done with that, you're looking at doing a second pass through many of the minigames as these are required for "Johnny's 7-Star Hotel". This will likely be one of the last trophies you unlock as you have to complete a crap ton of miscallenous trophies in each chapter, master all of the minigames, and if that wasn't enough, you also have to clear everything Chadley's Combat Simulator. Let's talk a bit about that. Combat Simulator (Pt. 1) - Oh Chadley. You blonde robotic bitch. I don't know even know where to begin with this. Chadley is the main protagonist who urges you to explore much of the world intel so he can gather data on many of the world's creatures. He's the one who helps you gain summons from divine intel. He helps you get on the path from the Protorelics to fighting Gilgamesh as secret endgame content that's quite fun and whimsical. He's also the bastard behind the combat simulator. This allows you to fight almost every enemy in the game through a series of battles. I personally saved this for the endgame, by the time I had cleared everything else as I wanted much of materia to be solidly leveled up and the most OP materia in the game isn't found until once you've properly beaten it once. I'll preface that before diving into these fights, I made sure to take care of all the fights in the Beast Battleground in the Dust Bowl. These weren't too bad and while one of the dog fights was obnoxious as I wasn't properly leveled, once I came back and visited it when I was Level 50, it was easy as hell. What proved far more challenging was the colliseum fights in the Gold Saucer. Most of these aren't too much of a hassle but eventually, by the end, you'll have to deal with one called: "Six-Person Bout: Riotous Feast". Here is the footage of me finally winning that fight. I'll openly admit I REFUSED to use a guide for this section out of my stubborness. In hindsight, it made the heartache that much worse. I shoudl have just used elemental on fire materia and made King Zu a non-factor. Instead, for ages, I tried to stubbornly put him to sleep and take out the Marlboro before he properly got back into the fight and this was a woeful experinece. Dying to Swan Song made me want to scream. I was stuck fighting this for a few hours. Of course, it wouldn't ultimately compare to the Brutal and Legendary Fights. Combat Simulator (Pt. 2) - Almost all of the Combat Simulator fights during the normal base game aren't all that infuriating. Sure you may do a round here or there and have to reset (such as when Kid G kicked my ass to the curb) but by-and-large, you should be able to get by with strategies that worked for you during the base game with some minor alterations. These are just basic enemies after all. Hence, "Tutorials", "Summons", "Assignments", "Regions", and "Biology" will be done after a handful of hours just dusting enemies. Where things ramp up is when the Normal Mode fights are over and the Hard Mode fights begin. These are the "Brutal" and "Legendary" fights. Here's PowerPyx guide for some recommended stratgies. You're probably going to need it. I started off by focusing on the Brutal challenges and I gotta be honest, they weren't too bad at first. Army of the Damnded only took me 8 minutes. Requiem for the Scorned pissed me off as the Savage Grandhorn binded all my characters and killed me with soem BS. Boy is it deflating to lose in Round 9/10 after playing so well and ultimately wasting time with an idiotic death. Unending Nightmare I beat on the 1st try. Hellions' Intonement that damn White Terror killed me 3 times but I eventually learned how to parry its' nastier moves. Seventh Seal only took me 2 attempts. But then we hit some bullshit. "Rulers of the Outer World". At first glance, this doesn't appear to be so bad. It's only 5 rounds instead of 10, how hard could it be? I got to Gilgamesh the 1st time and he kicked my ass. I then came right back with a 2nd attempt, beat him, only for Virtual Sephiroth and his nasty ass Shadowy Chains to send my ass straight back to the phantom zone. I then got back there a 3rd time, died, and rage quit for the evening while looking up this video on how to parry it in the future. My studiousness paid off and via the Limit Siphon method, you can view my victory here on how I conquered both Gilgamesh & Virtual Sephiroth to bring home the crown jewel item, Gotterdammerung. Combat Simulator (Pt. 3) - Now all I had left was the Legendary bouts. I sporadically played these while advancing through the Hard Mode chapters so the fatigue of so many intense fights wouldn't get to me. It was a bit of a pain in the ass constantly having to swap the best materia and equipment around but I ultimately think it was the best call for my overall enjoyment. Many of these fights surprisingly shouldn't give you too much fuss after you've been baptized through fire with the Brutal fights. Sure you don't have teammates to bounce off of, but typically fights only have one other major enemy to deal with and bouts turn into matches of chess waiting for the proper opportune moment to strike. I slowly made my way through all of them. Barret I only died once to Adamntoise. Tifa I only died once to Kid G. Aerith I completed 1st try. Yuffie I died twice to King Zu's annoying ass Swan Song due to not being able to do enough damage in time to snap that damn vulture's wings. Got it 3rd try. I eventually also took care of Cloud/Red 13/Cait Sith's when I added him to the party and I only had two left. How bad could they be? The first was "Bonds of Friendship" starring Cloud and Zack. I tried to do it with the build recommended by PowerPyx. I got to 47 minutes while fighting Bahamut Arise in Round 9 before being KO'd by a Gigalfare. I was so upset. I ignored it for a few chapters. I then went and compelted the bout with Sephiroth on my first attempt and was shocked by how easy it was with Sephiroth's free Rearise after using a synergy ability and his general OP-ness. Going to Zack from Sephiroth is how Bulls fans must have felt when they went from Michael Jordan to Toni Kukoč being the face of the franchise. At 137 hours & 22min, in Chapter 12 Hard Mode, I decided to take a break and go hard on finishing this damn bout so long as it killed me. I used this guide as an aid. The strategy was simple. Aeroaga early. Aeroaga often. With Gengi Gloves, you will steal the souls of your enemies. It's amazing early on because you can bury Titan early on if you're quick off as otherwise his fight turns into such a slog. Hueyacoatl is easy. Phoenix with Fire/Ice + Elemental on Cloud level'd up will make it impossible for you to die. Brineborn Demon is easy. Kujata the key is to hit him with Aeroaga every time he roars and he won't do anything to you. Ironclad I mastered from Cloud's solo bout and I felt super comfortable with. Alexander can get a bit hairy if you're not careful taking him out before Divine Judgement. Mindflayer killed me once and I was so pissed off with myself. Stupid ass Zack dying to Astral Lightning attack and I had to switch my set-up so I added Revive/Rearise when he's being a dumbass and sacrificed some ATB Boost and Enemy Skill materia. Finally, you have Bahamut who can be dangerous as hell if you don't constantly damage his wings when particle charging. I died here a handful of times. The worst offender of all is Odin. SCREW THIS GUY. THE MFER HITS ME WITH MULTIPLE ZANTETSUKEN'S AND TIME DISTORTION'S. Do you want to guess how many times I died to him? Play the LeBron clip. I genuinely died 8 times to just Odin. Until, finally, mercifully, as seen in the video above, I managed to conquer him. By the time I got life on with the final few chapters on Hard Mode, the clock now read 151 hours & 52 minutes. Hard Mode (Extended) - Honestly, it's a bit hilarious that nothing in the main game, even on Hard difficulty, can compare with some of tortuous fights you'll suffer in the Combat Simulator. If you complete all of the Brutal fights, with Gotterdammerung, you'll honestly stomp a bunch of the competition. What I personally loved doing was giving another character the Enhanced Expeditionary Medal + Limit Siphon and then just ANNIHILATING enemies with my opening attack after getting one ATB chage. Combined with Limit Booster on a 3rd party member? Oh baby, they never stood a chance. Of course, occasionally the game would expose me and leave me in some solo fights such as those against Rufus and Roche but with some proper Aeroaga and Chakra strategies and the appropriate amount of dodging and parrying, this won't be but a breeze compared to what you went through to obtain these items. How Long Everything Takes - While I won't lie to you and say these are perfect estimates, I was judicious about writing the times down when I hit certain sections. 1st Playthrough Complete - 59 hours, 35/88 Johnny Treasures, 100/169 World Intel, 17/36 Quests, 6/56 Combat Simulator, 60% Most Relationships Side Quests & World Intel Done - 81 hours, 63/88 Johnny Treasures, 165/169 World Intel, 35/36 Quests, 6/56 Combat Simulator, 80% Most Relationships Hard Playthrough Complete+Plat - 160 hours, 88/88 Johnny Treasures, 169/169 World Intel, 36/36 Quests, 56/56 Combat Simulator, 90% Most Relationships, 14/14 Hard A good bulk of that double allotment of time was dedicated to taking care of a variety of the hard mode challenges in minigames, getting through all the hard chapters, taking care of all the remaining combat challenges, and of course me just enjoying the game again as I did not skip EVERY cutscene even during my replay. Compiling together some stats, I can say that on my Normal Playthrough, while subtracting for side quest nonsense, it took me around 47 hours while dying just while just 14 times. 5 of those being to the Adjudcators on Cait Sith's Chapter #11 solo mission. In comparison, my Hard Playthrough took me 26.5 hours while dying 35 times. 12 of those tims being to Rufus in Chapter 12. I'll admit it would have been pretty cool if the game kept track of how many times you died to certain enemies and I didn't have to meticulously write it down for myself and my psychopath tendencies but hey, it's hard to be too judgemental given how generous this game already is. I earned the 8.42% rarity platinum in 1 month and 2 days. My Final Thoughts on the Story - How do I ultimately feel about the direction chosen for the story? It's a bit complicated. As I mentioned earlier, my favorite bits of this game are when the world isn't at stake. I enjoy the game a great deal when it isn't being mellow-dramatic at times and Cloud isn't going "GRAH! AGH! GRAAAAAH!" while holding his head dealing with TV head static. I enjoy the Turks, but they almost feel like a comedic villain at this point that I can't take seriously given they're employed by Shinra to take us out and seem wildly incompetent in doing so. As for the ending, I'm going to have to look up a few "explanation" videos to clarify my understanding. It sure seems like Aerith pissed off to retire and be one with the flowers or whatever instead of dying so I suppose that's a good thing? From what I had gathered from the original, the Whispers were supposed to be "Arbiters of Fate" which kinda lowkey represented the original FF7 fanbase jeering on Nomura to not alter the story of the original or anything and as we all know, we murdered that thing at the end of the last game. This is why Zack is alive and there are some slight alterations like that puppy. Sephiroth is happy about this because hey, he lost in that timeline, this is another bite at the apple. This game... seemed to keep that up? I know we get flashbacks to the alternate timeline where Tifa briefly sees Cloud holding Aerith with blood and then we cut back to the real, current timeline where she's... aight. She just passed out or whatever. It's aight. It would have been bold as hell to still kill her off if they went that route after making us fall in love with her all over again. But I get why they didn't go that way. I thought between all the character relationships that whoever you bonded with most would be killed given what Cait Sith's little fortune mentioned in Chapter 8. But then I thought about it for a moment and said: "there's no way they could make enough alterations for the 3rd game to account for Tifa/Aerith/Yuffie/Barret/etc.. dying" and scrapped that theory due to the issue of practicality. This Is My Forever Game - Allow me to clarify that statement. When people think of a "forever" game, it's quite often a game you can quite literally replay infinitely. Minecraft, League of Legends, FIFA, etc.. these are all true. But my definition differs. I don't think I'm ever going to play a game quite like this one. Even if the 3rd in the trilogy is sensational, nothing is going to compete with... this experience. Consuming 2 entire months of my gaming vortex and not regretting it for a single moment. I've written ad nauseam about this game as this post is clearly evidence of and I'm tempted to leave my thoughts here... I don't wanna engage with the discourse. Maybe I'll dip my toe in but.. I love the game, I know its faults, and I don't care to convince others to my line of thinking. Speculation on Final Fantasy VII Part #3 - Tetsuya Nomura stated that the Square Enix team is already hard at work for part #3. If we're lucky, we'll get this by 2027, perhaps early 2028. Wow. Is this thread even going to still be going by then? It has to. If only to write the 30k+ word review on that game. Then I can retire and sail off into the sunset. In all seriousness, where the hell do you go from here? I've been quite careful to avoid almost all things regarding the original, yet I have seen some retro gif of Cloud snowboarding while scrolling through Twitter one time. There was no snowboarding in Rebirth. I have to imagine that comes at a latter point in the open world as there's no way they'd have snowboarding in the original and not include it in Rebirth. Does that mean we're going to get additional open world regions? How the hell? I imagine we're going to have to start from zero with our materia AGAIN as the set-ups you'll get from the end of Rebirth are going to absolutely break whatever continuity is expected for a fresh player on the 3rd game. Right now, I'd be pissed about starting from zero. In 3-4 years, I won't mind it, again. As for the story... is Aerith really just gonna piss off in the Grasslands now? No way. I imagine she'll make frequent appearances but maybe be retired so we return to a party of 6? I also truthfully wouldn't mind a return to the Remake formula where there's far less side content and the final crescendo of the trilogy is quite focused with perhaps only one or two branching areas for variety. I presume Cloud's gonna beat Sephiroth. I presume nobody important is gonna die if Rebirth is any indication. Sephiroth will be in some prison chains somewhere and we'll be sipping mojito's with Rufus and all of Shinra's goons by the Costa del Sol hotel if this game is anything to go by. Oh, what the hell am I saying. The entire 3rd game could be nothing but Cactuar Crush and Jumpfrog and I'll still play the crap outta it. Don't let me down Square! Would I recommend Final Fantasy VII Rebirth? Absolutely. In the words of the immortal Tim Rogers, "At this point of my life, I'd have to play any game involving these characters. They have been with me for literally most of my life. I will play the worst DLC, I will play the most terrible spin-offs. You definitely shouldn't listen to anything I have to say about the Final Fantasy 7 series. WOW! I should have said that at the beginning of this video. I could have saved you A LOT of time. Oh well!" Take his words, transform them so they're my words into writing about this Rebirth game, and you'll more or less get the gist of how YOU should feel about deciding whether or not I'm qualified to recommend this game to you or not. Was that even a real sentence? I'm exhausted. Godspeed everyone. We will return to normal, non-novel length reviews for the month of May onwards. SEE YA! Panda Score: 9.59 / 10 Panda Difficulty: 8.21 / 10 Spoiler Final Fantasy Rebirth Thoughts done with territories, 144gb to install w/ jonathan LETS GOOOO Final Fantasy VII Rebirth 29-Feb-2024 * 11:25PM ABOUT DAMN TIME * CLAIMING MY LEVIATHAN SUMMONG MATERIA “DLC / Bonuses in the System section of the main menu” * LETS GOOOOOOO BABY * OH SNAP WE RIGHT ACK INTO TH ACTION * wow section 7 damage and destruction is CRAZT with this news report * feather falling and we see Cloud and Zack I think it is! * OH NO BARRET AND TIFA IN A STRETCHER AND RED 13 TOO * OH NO AND AERITH TOO * dont know how i feel about playing as basic ass zack opening intro * what’s that white ball that makes my controller rumble? Chapter 1 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * “5 years ago - Nibel Region” * “Chapter 1 - Fall of a Hero” * Cloud/Sephiroth are in their army war cosplay rather than a generic soldier * YOOOO I WAS JUST JOKING ABOUT PLAYING AS SEPHIROTH HELLO????? WHAT THE HELL U COOKING SQUARE * Nibelheim is where Cloud grew up, we’re experiencing this thru him telling Barret, Aerith, Tifa, etc.. * hahahaha barret interrumpts Sephiroth telling his mom Jenova story * climbed back up the old water tower * here we go as cloud visiting mom, his dad died when he was young… first time seeing her in 2 years * her name is Claudia * Cloud has bare armpits, he just like me * Mom is being pesada about finding a “good girl”, an “older, more mature girl” shut up mom * who the hell is this guy? * Zangan????? * “Well-toned, but lacking mass.” shut up bro this is the male body at peak performance * TIFA LEARNED FROM THIS BRO????? * this is slow intro but for qht I expexct to be 100+ hour experience, I’m cool with it * TIFA WHAT IS THIS DORKY ASS COWBOY OUTFIT LADY * Sephiroth doesn’t like photos * Tifa in the middle between these two, hah * okay open world sprinting feels… odd. Like, that automatically jumping over stuff but maybe you get used to it * 2 trophies pop 12:02AM baby no leap year trophies * punisher mode still feels op as heck 2 battles in lol * oh how i missed u materia * I think the reason the opening world feels funny is cuz there’s no jump button, you just snap around with O button to surfaces * feel like im gow squeezing through * so cool that sephiroth is just hanging out with us * lmao scooping up excess mako is not a game mechanic L2 * all these crates is a bad sign something nasty is coming * it’s fine! this bridge is fine! * sephiroth just YOLO’d * RIP that one security guy who floated all the way down the stream * SEEFY BOY JOINS THE PARTY * OUR LOVELY BLUE BENCHESS ARE BACK! * That wall climbing did NOT feel good * “The knowledge of the ancients is sealed within each orb” * Cloud: “Magic sure is weird” and I laugh like Cloud. HOJO THAT JERK??? WITH THE WEIRDO MUSTACHE? * climbing does not feel good, worse than uncharted, hold R2 to go faster like sliding down ladders * cleaning up mako gas not a ton of fun man * I FELT THE BIG BOSS COMING BABY ALL THOSE CRATES AND A BENCH LETS DO IT!!!!!!! * DEFEATED THE MATERIA GUARDIAN 1ST TRY BABY!!!!! TOO EASY!!!! * super fun final 1st chapter boss fight, like the scorpion barret/sephiroth fight babyyyyy * L2+R2 to depressurize the sector pod… 5 times??? * So Sephiroth had a realization of his origin, and vanished? In front of Cloud boy? Hmm * So Sephiroth got addicted to reading? Old books? He’d be big on book tiktok * sephiroth profesor gast;s big creation… JENOVA!!!!!!!! * Oh Red 13 is also there chilling with u while we chat * busted cloud leg walking sequence prestige mode with a fire log falling on his leg is NOT very well done… just being honest. * BRUH STABBED THROUGH THE CHEST WHAT TH HELL BRO WE JUST HUNG OUT BUDDY BUDDY FOR A WHOLE CHAPTER * L2+R2 of crawling while Sephiroth cuts off Mayor Zander’s feet lmao DAMN HE JUST SLIT HIM NOOOO NOT ZANDER AND YOU STOMP HIS HAT???? * this just goes to show what happens when you read too many books * oh damn tifa’s daddy was also killed by sephiroth * lmao bro just caught the sword in his hand and SLICED TIFA HELLO??????? * Sephiroth going full weirdo with his momma * oh snap his mom’s kinda hot even in a jar filled with water * wait he killed tifa??? cloud???? * oh i missed hearing yall aerith & barret * Tifa massaging Aerith O_O * Aerith has cute pink pajamas, tifa sleeps in her athletic wear I guess? * Tifa saying Cloud was never in Nibelheim??? Whispers saved Tifa from being called by Sephiroth? Is this the time shenanigans baby? * Tifa with a late night booty call on us * GET OUT OF MY HEAD SEPHIROTH SAYING TIFA WAS KILLED * lmao why didn’t you let us see the scar square enix * Cloud just pissed off for 5 years… WHY CLOUD? * Finally completed Chapter 1! 1:30AM… damn that took a while to complete lol, 10% of the trophies tho! Chapter 2 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Start of chapter 2 - OH NO THERE’S A SPECIAL CARD GAME QUEEN’S BLOOD LMAO, horizon forbidden west idea * “Only the player with the higher power in a lane has their opower added to their score” * So wait… Chapter 2 opens up. How the heck did we end up at the inn? Red 13 is with us. I’m confused. Weren’t Barret/Tifa getting airlifted and while Zack got Aerith/Cloud how’d he got the others? I guess none of the equipment carried over from th 1st game same with the materia which is FINE but hmmm… * TIFA RELATIONSHIP HAS CHANGED??? OH LORD MAN!!!! * We just obliterated Crybaby Ned 17-0 BABY!!!!! * Red 13 likes having his balls busted… good to know for the future, dont flatter him * “Sometimes you gotta take the L if you’re serious about upping your game” iconic quote * they acknowledge cloud kicking around boxes with zahira QB fight haha * okay we beat all 3 opponents LITE WORK, Aerith is such a cutie pie asking to climb the clock tower * “We’re roomates you know” AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES * shinra jerks just storming a peaceful town on the outskirts * how the hell BRODEN (resal name) gonna tell me not to use violence * cloud sky sequene not good * a TRANSMUTER? * transmuting system seems like a great way to fill chests with crap in the open world like the ingredients in kingdom hearts 3 lmao * WOW LOOK AT THAT OPEN WORLD!!!!!!! * aerith is the light of my life * i love how 2/3 of th presets are DA BOYS and DA GIRLS * Bill’s the fast travel bro of this game I dig it * ayyyy we obtained a sleek saber from a chest! * Tifa & Aerith girlbossing together for 150 hours is what I’m here for * We shall continue tomorrow as it’s 3AM, so fun to return with this cast * Gotta find Piko the Chocobo…. * ayyy we get a new rod for Aerith awesome * Chocobo Sam!!!! We do know him! He’s over in Wall Market babyyyy * I really like Chloe’s outfit (Chocobo vendor) * lmao getting Piko meanwhile I just rolled fast through the whole mini-game * OH SNAP IT’S THIS DORK CHADLEY! * hahahah we got ubisoft towers here lessssgoooo baby but they’re chadley towers * Oh snap using synergy abilities increases your relationshup with characters? Good lord * okay Titan is the 1st boss boss that killed me twice he kicked my ass we’re leaving this fight for a later time lol * we did all the other combat battles though that was fun * lmao just stumbled upon my first moogle merchant * Picking red gerbera, yellow canduuleias, and white daisies * LMAO TWO NPC LADIES SLAPPING THE HELL OUTTA HERE EACH OTHER IN KALM * okay that 4th fight vs the goons butch/burt etc.. beck was the first fight outside of the open world that gave me a struggle, nearly died but lived * Bro we got the protorelic and now I’m flashed back to… something? * okay the chocobo detection on scooping up items is less than ideal, very finnicky * I like the card game, some of the other open world activities… we’ll see, I have Open World Syndrome atm and I think I’m going too hard on all the ancilary aspects of the ga,em * DEFEATED QUEZTACOTL FIRST TRY! * BEAT MIDGARSOMER 1ST TRY finally going thru the swamp with 0 MP lmao * Ayyy we completed chapter 2 it only took us a bunch of hours lmao Chapter 3 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * LMAO AERITH REFERNECES MADAM M HAND MASSAGE * Gather all world pieces intend for grasslands: 8hours, 24min * Chapter 3 aerith and tifa mine level let’s GOOOOOO!!! * Ooooh it’s this Reno guy out I’ll we fought with AERITH by her house * Oh his name is Rude * Good fight against Rude and Elena, once again 1st try, I’m just too GOATed * Now we switch gears to Barret and Red? Cool * We obliterate the Mythril Golem on 1st, Lightning materia right before the fight made it super obvious lol * Aight chapter 3 didn’t take too long whatsoever just getting out of the mines, the Barrett lever mine moving cart was a bit nonsense but hey Chapter 4 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Damn, how you doing Rhonda? * Hey that’s Yuffie! And a Dolphin! * Terror of the Deep beat 1st try I think we’re just TOO GOOD * Cloud given chest compression duty 🤦🏻♂️ * Lmao yuffie naruto running * Who you talking to AERITH? * AERITH just called us a narc and I see that purple chest, she’s the first to 3 weapons * Incorrectly remember AERITH putting the flower in my face, “don’t regift gifts to other girls”, * I just took a guess on who Emilio kid was and got it right lmao stop testing me Tifa * I called out Tifa testing me before Cloud did * Alright or… that was a sweet nice end convo with each party member before finally resting feel like it’s been nonstop! * Yuffie is Wutai Clan and I’m good with LETTING HER COOK * Alright, 10 1/2 hours in, just started Chapter 4 essentially… I’m enjoying it. Though I acknowledge the game is profoundly flawed. The open world busywork will likely get lambasted by some. You've really gotta approach it like all the map icons on Witcher 3. Don’t obsess over them. if you stumble upon them, do it. I’m enjoying the characters all over again. I’m curious where things are going to keep going. Find combat a bit too easy for the base main story but I became an expert on the last one going for the platinum so that makes some sense. Some stuff isn’t polished. Like open world movement and snapping across terrain. I appreciate the ambition. All in all, looking forward to how I feel another 10 hours from now. At this time, I’m at 21/61 trophies but a lot of those are baby ones. The rarest according to PSNProfiles is 11.69% the gather all intel in Grasslands. 1,011 of 8,645 owners got it as of 4:20PM Mar-1-2024 * Rhonda gave us 5k Gil from our bounty pretty good money * Okay Zogan by far toughest queen battle this far * Priscilla’s VA giving…. Something… * Cloud Dolphin race mini game >>> * For all the flaws this game has, I love this crew man. These sorts of games are rare with the scooby gang * Here comes… RUFUS! THIS GUY!!! * Legitimately relieved they aren’t dragging out a stealth sequence on the airship and instead the Shinra dudes just don’t care * Who the hell is Glenn? * Wow a legit reason why barret/tifa can’t join us in disguise we with the GIRLS AGAIN * ITS SO WEIRD NOT SEEING TIFA’S BELLY BUTTON * Don’t threaten me with a good time commander mommy * We did the practice until we went 11-0 baby * THERE’S AN UNDERGROUND BALD GANG BAR??? I love it * Hahaha this is why this game is awesome * Okay took me a WHILE to find all 10 infantry units, mostly cuz 2 were hidden in upstairs area of the place that says “City of Junín” in front of Red * Damn this parade scene got the BIG SQUENIX BUDGET * Alright I went with 3 3 star difficulty performances no basic Becky troopers and I got 98.9k yes and 7.8k no… that’s pretty awesome man just a handful of errors * No trophy popped so maybe I just did a lil poorly or there’s nothing tied to it like there was in the remake with the dance scene * Roche is cracked out * BARRETT IS IN HIS SAILOR OUTFIT LESSGO I LOVE IT * Yuffie is such a dork running like that * So Rufus is cleaning his hands and saying to kill Sephiroth please hmmmmm * Beat Roche 1st try and chopped his motorcycle in half * Why does Barrett’s sailor outfit give me tekken energy? * Finished chapter 4! 13ish hours in! We on a boat now! Chapter 5 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * YOOOOO MADAM M IS HERE LESSGO * Did Chocobo Sam not get a ticket? * AERITH AND TIFA TALKING BOYS? * Who the heck is this pink haired chick? * I choose to play AERITH, this is when the game is at its peak man game is feeling way better 2nd 10 hours than the first 10 * We destroyed AERITH 26-0 with an OP shiva play * “Cloud is kicking ass and taking names in this tournament” I love this announcer * We beat Madam M 16-8, tough luck lady * WE GOTTA PLAY CHADLEY???? Ugh * We beat this boy 18-8 get rekt soyley * We’re playing Regina Kongin… * WE BEAT HER 19-17 BABYYYYYYY * Bruh Red 13 in a soldier suit? This game is goated * Aerith rooting for me while Tifa roots for Red? Unbelievable * Won a low scoring match 7-6 final! * Ayyy we scoop up a trophy as well * 14 hours, 15 min in and I am greatly loving the game man, post open world grasslands bit had me focusing too much on the flaws of that section but out of it and just vibing with the guys and gals again is such a blast, 1.94% ultra rare on the card royalty 168 achievers to 8,645 owners 2-Mar-2024, 24/61 trophies 34% completion * I always like how they show Cloud putting his sword next to his bed when he sleeps * fiends raid the ship, titov talking to hojo * Titov shooting dudes in robes and now Yuffie is here….. * Beat Jenova Emergent on 1st try, Tifa OP, “Cloud don’t let her fool you”, visually cool boss * Costa del Sol, wrap up first 5 chapters in 15 hours baby! Chapter 6 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * It’s so funny following these robed dudes like did they know they had to book a cruis line to go after sephiroth/ * I love the 4k meters in a wheelie while Cloud casually BASHES into stuff * I decided to say “Yea. Absolutely.” to Yuffie * ooooooh it’s jonny he’s back * I like Johnny’s trash hotel, odd seeinc cloud no sword * We got 15,450 on the first challen ge shooting minigame baby * “Just drop the jaded act for a minut and take the compliment.” I love Barrett * I’ve decided to roll with Cloud shirtless because duh * Why does Red 13’s voice sound so different when with Aerith man…. what is that Sora-ass voice? * hahahaha control Tifa/Aerith and the note says “note that who you control will not affect the story” * i love that red 13 dog mini game, this game is so GOATED man * hahahaha we won 5-4-4-4 to secure the collar last second * playing the piano has tifa… got a B rank - 12,250 dang it man * Tifa puts Johnny in the friend zone * I’m going with the white shining spirit for Tifa and the floral delight for Aerith * “Cloud and Tifa have the same taste in seawear” DANG IT I DIDNT EVEN CALCULATE THAT IN MY DECISION * is the similarity just based on how much skin is showing? * Tifa you can’t do that lean with them calcium cannons * how the hell is HOJO here? Did he take a cruise ship here as well? * Hojo just around a bunch of babes * I decided to help Aerith/Barrett…. NOOO TIFA AND RED 13 * Grasptropod by far the hardest main boss fight until now, was down to 127 Cloud health before final fireball killed it, I thought I was playing poorly when Barrett and Tifa were scooped up, shoutout to Yuffie * We have the dumbest reasons for not curbstomping Hojo man… * Aerith has the longest personal scene, I told her everybody got somebody they hate * this game is so awesome * I am growing to like Yuffie’s absurdity man… she’s so extra that it’s fun * alright we accepted yuffie… what would have happened if I said no? * End of Chapter 6: 16 hours, 30 minutes Chapter 7 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * i enjoy that red 13 mini game date design a lot * I’ve decided to return to Under Juno since I realized I totally skipped all the open world stuff after Costa del Sol opened up, my bad * Salmon side quest has Barrett acknowledge his daughter Marlene growing up * I love the animation for playing the Piano found in the camp… * woah… cameron queen’s battle has a scary fuzz tv cutscene at the end? * This Chocobo wrangling mini game is awful! * the humorous waythey try to diversify the towers is funny to me * Ford Condor… I don’t know how to feel since it’s all unit placement and can’t give inputs, eh * okay that 4th fort condor fight kicked my butt for a while but I got it * who the hell is eccentric swordsman? * NOOOOO DIED FIGHTING FINAL BOSS OF UNDER JUNO REGION 1ST TIME IN STORY WITH PSYCHOTIC BREAK * Okay DESTROYED Mindflyer that 2nd attempt, Aerith/Barrett synergies OP baby! * Finished Under Juno World Intel: 22 hours (so it took like 5 1/2 to do all of that… lmao, no wonder the game felt so wonderfully paced after I skipped this bit, got a lot to say on it, it’s not bad, but hmm… doesn’t compare to the main story, and now I gotta keep it up with costa del sol!) * Okay sorted all of my equipment, items, materia, weapon skills, etc… now ready to continue with Costa del Sol’s open world bit, currently at party level 5 115/340 exp, Cloud level 27, along with the rest of the crew * Yoooooo Jules in the fashionista showcase side quest dating Aerith! * I like hearing about Tifa’s meal plans during the Jules side quest * Hahaha Amina talking about the pull up challenge * FINALLY BEAT JULES 53-49 SUCKA * just 25min doing that lmao * Yuffie vs Barrett bantz continuing with the main story, Aerith is not built for hiking * It feels like boss time baby! We see Rude & Elena yet again… * Beat Custom Valkyrie 1st try, damn that thing had a ton of health * oh now damn near 30 hours later switch back to Zack… with Aerith’s mom! * Corel reactor is one hell of a view * it’s pretty funny how the entire moving plot element is “yo these black robe guys are moving in this direction” * got a bit lost on where to go with the Yuffie grappeling hook but we eventually got it * NOOOOO DIED FOR JUST THE SECOND TIME YUFFIE 1 v 1 VS FIREBALL * this yuffie level was mad confusing lol * Beat Gigatrice thanks to a timely Tifa limit break, geez that fight was kicking my butt * 131 boxes and 9 shipping crates got me an “Excellent” rating * Barrett isn’t exactly very beloved returning to his hometown * I love how absurd the game has gotten witha. DOG playing queen’s blood * We’re moving on to the gold saucer… 29 hours or so? * I wanna get outta Corel pretty much a dump * Scarlet came here to a council 6 years ago of Barret vs Dyne * Pretty good background story on Barret and voting for the mako reactor * Hah, NOW we finish chapter 7 all this time later my goodness Chapter 8 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Oh snap the gold saucer intro got the GORGEOUS graphics budget * OH HEY THERES THAT CAT FROM THE 1ST GAME END CUTSCENE * The girls vs andrea and the boys * This is why the game is so good * Lmaoooo Yuffie passing out to the beefy bro * This guy is named Dio * Alright we beat him in that janky 3D brawler * Of course Barret chose the haunted house hotel * I am very much loving this game again with this big dumb white fluffy guy. Outta the desert and poverty and into the fun * How the hell is every hotel in every city booked how do these people LIVE? * Lose what I cherish most? I swear if the game kills Aerith because I have the best relationship with her I will be pissed * Lmao the tin berry robot * I am not enjoying the Zack sequences * I love Tifa’s theme * Enjoying this night out in the square with Tifa and doing sol these mini games, real yakuza 0 type beat * Oh hey there’s Jesse in the poster! * Awww Barret is panicked at sky wheel square and here o was hoping for a quiet one on one date with Tifa on a Ferris wheel * Tifa snags our hand * Mid-chapter 8, 29 hours, 42 minutes 43.6k gil * Barret being accused of a shooting at the Gold Saucer.. always the black man… * So Gus tells us ay if you don’t win those chocobo races we pimping out ya girls * lmaoooo Chadley disguising himself in a Tonberry costume * I enjoy Queen’s Blood a good amount, slowly increasing complexity * LMAO those cactuar acabo conmigo good lord one of my rare few other deaths * holy crap nearly died in the 2ndfight as well those guys are NASTY * 1st Bail Jumper… booze, weapon shop for making noise, Meditations on the Underling Life, Gus graffiti sol cactuar, type-0 * I just needed to investigate one of the claims and knew the shop silence lady was correct * We finish with 1st with ease because of course, heck yea baby, Racing Chocobos * Welp, Dyne killed me once… okay tat fight was hard and methodical, Ifrit summon got the last final blow kill * oh hey now we see Dyne’s girl Eleanor… * absolutely obliterated the anruan supressor palmer boss fight, not even challenging, 2 limit breaks w/ tifa/cloud at the end DESTROYED ‘em * That Barret shooting spree mini game was eh… * hah it’s crazy going back to Sector 5 as Zack… Chapter 9 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Oh damn Cait Sith joins the party in the start of chapter 9! * Current status: Chapter 9, 33 hours, 44 minutes, level 31 w/ Cloud, Party Level 6 175/390 experience, feel pretty good and am having fun with the game, gonna knock out some Corel open world stuff and then press on with the main story * Hot take: If I had to describe this game non-Final Fantasy style, I’d say it’s Horizon Forbidden West+Yakuza 0 * Kid G looks like a total freak man * 1.8k on the cactuar challenge with yuffie… * For whatever reason, grinding this open world stuff in the desert I find enjoyable? So many different feelings while playing the game lol * Wow we got level boost materia for helping with the Cloud Jr. side quest? * Alright ready to fight the Tonberry King, ready for this BS * WE DID IT! Died twice but managed to steal the pristine crown amazingly * damn all the Johnny’s actually transformed this place MAD NICE… ell done! Worth the lengthy time of this request * Yuffie’s mannerisms are cute as hell * Oh wow I’m somehow only at 29/88 for the treasure trove hahahaha * this is hilarious and so cool I love it man this game is awesome all these collectibles on display * alright think we’re finally ready to advance the main story, got 28/30 intel done on the region but the protorelics goblin said he’d call me so we’ll keep things moving! (35 1/2 hours in) * We’ve pulled up to the Gongaga village now! The jungle Horizon type beat! * Another Shinra reactor blew up here? Do they not maintain any of their reactors man? How do they not do that? * hahahaha playing the chocobo in Queen’s Blood who’s gonna play that dog from an earlier town in North Corel, great job by the game * “I am so, so bored… bored right out of my brain” Yuffie is growing on me * oh wow these people with Aerith are Zack Fair’s parents? Hmmm * Ain’t no way Aerith will still like Zack over CLOUD WHO HAS BEEN RIDE OR DIE FOR 100+ HOUR OF GAMES MAN C’MON GIRLS * 3 hours napping is all Cloud gets? Cissnei don’t mind dirty soldiers sleeping in her bed? * Gongaga Reactor with the boys… looking forward to this! * SPECIMENH0124 defeated on 1st try, Cait Sith with a clutch synergy ability with all dudes low health was killer! * oh damn we switching to Tifa and the gals now! * “Mocking a person’s physical appearance is tacky and beneath me” banger line Scarlet * Crtimson Mare Mk. II Boss Fight vs Scarlet done on 1st try, Yuffie was the MVP, Aerith died twice but revive materia on Yuffie saved me * Oh so NOW Cloud should have a conscience over blood and killing Shinra soldiers? But Dyne at the colisseium was some heinous unforgivable crime? * “Cloud don’t let her fool you” * YOU CALLING TIFA A LIAR, CLOUD? LEMME SEE IT * WHY WON’T THE DEVS LET US SEE HER SCAR * WHAT THE HELL CLOUD YOU ACTUALLY STRUCK HER NOW TIFA’S IN THE MAKO PIT * welp Tifa just became fish lunch cuz Cloud went full heavy rain ethan making origami in his head demon mode * feels a teensy bit trite that cloud just lost control there and hadn’t done so previously…. * funny how these whispers who were so prominent in the first game make their appaearance 35+ hours into the 2nd game lmao * So the old timeline vs. the new timeline? Is our decisions gonna impact which timeline of whispers wins? * Sephiroth if yu kill Tifa I’m taking yo mama to the cleaners * Tifa got the whole squad bringing her back, can’t die yet * damn this fish got ABS to stop himself on a dime like that * surely tifa must have radiation poisioning up the wahzoo bathing in mako for that long * Yuffie/Cat Sith saying “kiss kiss” to Cloud/Tifa get the hell outta here * Cloud, ya soldier boy cells won’t degrade we’re gonna get you all fixed up * I love Yuffie’s pose when she’s sitting down in that chair * Cosmo Canyon? I feel like I’ve heard that before… * This Kazhra chicken old lady voice actress has me cracking up * That guiding the chickens home side quest with the clanger is SO BAD MAN GOOD LORD * OH MY GOD SHE’S GONNA TURN THEM INTO GRILLED CHICKEN LMAO * okay i was not expecting that end to the quest hahahah * OH DAMN THIS IS CID!!! THE PILOT!!!! I’ve seen him before in kingdom Hearts! * Hojo being experimented on by Roche… can somebody just take out Hojo for good he SUCKS * Aight… we land in Cosmo Canyon and that ends chapter 9, we’re now on Chapter 10 believe it or not! Chapter 10 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Start of Chapter 10 stats: 40 hours, 64.6k gil, level 36, party level 7 60/440 experience, calling it here but I have to imagine this is the last MAJOR open world region left * so much yuffie here… why have aerith/tifa and the rest of the cast been relegated so hard? * Nanaki? Where Red 13 is from? Cosmo Canyon? * lmao the edited faces on the wanted poster is hilarious * Oh wow a Shinra Sign Language opponent in Queen’s Blood? That’s cool as hell * two legs piano song kicked my butt lmao 13,470 score rank * Red 13’s voice change is wild…. * I really enjoy Queen’s Blood * Bugenhagen… floats on a ball of some type… * Red 13 is 48????? lmao, he’s 15-16 in human terms * aight this scene with the stars and the planets with bugenhagen got the BIG budget * Why’d he destroy that planet being sapped of its lifestream in front of Aerith * Tifa don’t wanna give up the mako fossil fuels * “That comes from a lack of understanding” damn old man just dunked on Tifa * Yuffie is sick of the planetology hippies, of course the seminar is sitting down in a circle together * Why so cold with me Tifa? C’mon girl * Yuffie the atheist * Interesting that Cait Sith does not ave a smiley icon over him and our relationship * WE ENCOURAGED AERITH AND GOT A LITTLE NOD BACK * That was a super nice scene, emotionally effective too * BARRET CHOSEN AS THE OBSERVER??? I had no say in yhid… eoe… is my relationship strongest with Barret? * DANG IT GI NATTAK KILLED US EMBARASSING PLAY BY ME * DANG IT WE DIED A 2ND TIME ALRIGHT WE GOTTA REVIEW ALL MATERIA AND GET IT FIXED * 42 hours and 41 minutes for a boss to finally make me force and look at my materia properly * Okay I took him seriously on my 3rd attempt flipping matriua around and stomped him. Get rekt bro. HP Up materia is OP and having the heal materia on both made it capable as hell. Didn’t even let them DOOM countdown drop below 50k * I don’t like Red 13’s child voice… * I like the running 2,000 gil joke * Sephiroth just keeps popping in and popping right back out * Crazy how we just getting in this guy Gi Nattak’s boat like it’s nothing * Aerith is Cetra and bro just called them a not so tolerant people * Whispers prevent Biggs from doing because… yea, of course they do * aaaaand Zack saved the same way, even though I don’t care for this dude as a character * Don’t care much for Zack but revisiting Sector 5 is cool… oh hey look it’s Kyrie! * Oh wow I just realized this is Ann from Persona 5 hah * Stop telling Marlene we all coming back everybody got more mini games to play at the GOLDEN SAUCER * Was Aerith really the wind? Forreal? * “Welcome to the Village of the Gi” and bro just decides to vanish and does not elaborate * these dudes really want materia * Why Red 13 gotta sound like a bitch all the time now * CAITH SITH JUST SOLO’D A BATTLE WHERE CLOUD/YUFFIE DIED VS 4 GIL LANCER BROS GOOD LORD * Alleged orb lies in a place of Cetra worship… temple? * We’re going straight to Nibelheim as I have a deadline and will enjoy open world festivities at a later date Chapter 11 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Now starting up Chapter 11… we shall stop here for the day! * Sephiroth wants the black materia… * GOOD LORD THIS GAME IS A MAMMOTH. There’s a bloody Nibel region too? and probably one more after that? Mindboggling * Stopping here start of chapter 11 at 44 hours… * Alright before continuing in Nibelheim decided to go back and beat Wize 3.0, now we see another Lidrehl cutscene * “He had been playing Queen’s Blood without stopping to eat, drink, or sleep.” * Damn… we just beat Regina and now bro is saying he awaits us at the Haunted Hotel? Shadowblood Queen card? * Another slow agonizing Chocbo wrangling mini game of bait in Nibelheim but at least the power up with the bird is cool * Wait.. what the hell, Nibelheim is all good? * Tons aod robes and locals here… what’s up? * We just annihilated Turner 49-0 in Queen’s Blood hahahaha * Damn we climbing up with Aerith at Tifa’s old spot? That’s cold blooded Cloud * BARRET LOOKS HILARIOUS with that golden gun arm * Heading for the reactor after the Zack hotel inn scene… let’s do it baby! * Oh yea! Rufus! and Heidegger! Feel like it’s been a mini eternity * Oh Zack was the other Shinra soldier who floated gently down the stream? * TIFA REMEMBERED THIS WHOLE TIME? AND DIDNT WANNA UPSET US? * LMAO swapping HP & MP materia? That’s INSANITY * Wow we destroyed the Diabolic Variant pretty easily, this is a great trio Cloud/Tifa/Yuffie * “Soon Cloud, soon.” aight Sephiroth we’re 46 hours into this mfer, when we fighting, 70 hours in? 80? * rolling as Cait Sith lmao * this throwing crates with the moogle is… aight I guess * those adjucator fights with caith sith 1 v1 and 1 v2 killed me 5 times smh * sheesh man that Yin & Yang fight was also tough * “36, 10, 59, 97” * Did horrible vs Forgotten Specimen, won 1st try but had to use like 5 Phoenix Downs * oh so we just find some bro in a coffin I guess * VINCENT VALENTINE? Great name * bro just decided to go back to sleep lmao * Cloud TV static sequence… Valentine snags Cait Sith…. OH SNAP WE GONNA FIGHT HIM???? * okay we died twice at the end to this beast now so I guess I gotta take it seriously… * okay we swapped out tifa for aerith and still nearly died to the Galian Beast the difficulty ramp up has been CRAZY * lmao after getting his butt kicked by us all he says is “get out” aight bro * alright so we’ve gotta start making our way to that temple….. * oh ehy it’s Roche! He’s back! * Aight when I took it seriously… I crushed Roche though he did make me sweat for it a lil, well done * Rufus just looking at that press conference by Brook like… whatever * It feels like more major characters should have been killed by this point… we’ve had a boss fight against Palmer and Scarlet and they’re still here in these confeence meetings * Follwoing those slow black robed * Oh snap we with Valentine on Cid’s plane… he also wants a crack at Sephiroth * “War isn’t worth celebrating. Ever.” - thanks tifa what are u my mom * Ayyyy we finally wrapped up Chapter 11… now on to Chapter 12 baby! Stranded Sully Style! Chapter 12 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * “Another loner, as if one wasn’t enough of a pain in the ass” lmao Barret * Oh my goodness we just hit a huge chapter checkpoint as there are a bunch of quests in new regions and updated minigames and such good lord this game is bloody ENORMOUS * 48 hours and 40 minutes in to hit this portion of the game… dang! * I love me that Queen’s Blood man * I’m here to play Lidrehl before continuing on with the main story * Whooped him 42-0 and he his is the dude who invented Qb? A dog and choco no put up a better fight * Well I need to get the emerald witch card Tom a cursed monster in nibelheim * We beat Tuffie at the 3d brawler by cheesing the pause button hahaha * DIO VS CORNEO?????? No way * Oh so Dio wants us to fight for the keystone.. alright man… OH HEY THE CORNEO BOYS ARE BACK LOL SCOTCH AND KOTCH * “One of your comrades is hoping to spend a moment alone with Cloud later this evening, complete any remaining odd jobs which feature them before you proceed. OOOOH SNAP MAN” * I’m curious to see who it will be for me without stopping and doing other stuff… * Oh we’re back to Zack… * “When she wakes up, a scary man is going to kill her.” MARLENE SPOILERS * ITS AERITH BABY HELL YEA!!!!! She’s out date for tonight, “Loveless” * Oh so we went to sit * Who the hell is “Maycomb Blue” * Oh snap it’s Aerith ! She’s the singer! * Oh that’s Jesse and blue bro from Fire Emblem Three Houses * Barret and Tifa crying after the performance * Loving these theatrics heart by Cloud be so j cloud like and fighting Varvados/Barret * Of course we chose Rosa as our beloved man… DENIED THE KISS YET AGAIN * We managed to secure an S rank man * This is why this game is dope flaws and all how many have the cojones to switch up the rhythm and flow with side stuff like that * CHOCOBO SAM IS IN THE THEATRE? * Aerith doing a good job lip singing because that ain’t her voice * Hell yea got a trophy for our S rank performance as well as 30 donated items to Johnny we elite * Dang and after all that we also get to get on the Ferris wheel with Aerith * Why’d you sit across from her Cloud? * Yanno I expect Cloud to never acknowledge all the romantic tension he has with these women but how have one of them not called him out like me or her bro * Cloud bringing up Tifa randomly when you’re on a date with Aerith what is WRONG with you.. * 50 hours, 13 min before the fight vs Corneo, chapter 12, we’re at 82% completion according to the PSN home screen and I gotta finish before next Thursday lets do this * corneo and the boys interrumpting dio lmaoooooo * AMAZING SONG MAN LEGIT BARS * hahahaah the cactuar with the little corneo hair * WE FREAKING DESTROYED THE DONBERRY LETS GO MAN NOT EVEN A CONTEST * Beat Abzu & Corneo, jumped up to Level 8, bodied this fool with Cloud/Aerith/Tifa and torturing his testicles again * victory high fives all around * get the hell outta here with elena swooping the prize from beneath us * lmaooo Dio making rest before the fight a real thing * Alright won thatv 2nd fight against Rude/Elena without too much fuss, well done by me * OOOOOH SNAP ITS RUFUS!!!!!!!!! * “It’s corporate downsizing with a vengeance” lmao * Alright that Rufus fight was hard I had to use an elixir or two and a few limit breaks the jerk and then he SMOKES US and walks away * So… Cait Sith… Barret you should execute him * “Cait Sith’s equipment is returned to you” oof man * Was this betrayl in the original? Unbelievable * Alright we just finished chapter 12, we’re barrelling towards the finale man! Chapter 13! Chapter 13 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Wow those blocks falling after Tseng put the keystone got the BIG BUDGET * “You will not be able to return after landing” * lets do it man * these crystals changing gravity got me turned around smh brain is fried * Aight that Red Dragon fight with Cloud/Barret/Aerith was tough but we did get it 1st try * aerith tweirls a stick around and the earth is happy now * I like how this super soldier is the one to plead for his life and again for just the 2nd time this game Cloud gets blood on him from slaying him * WHAT>? “SEVERAL HOURS PRIOR” who sets up a scene like that? * Alright I’m stopping here, mid chapter 13, 53 hours, 14 min, party level 8 145/490, level 46 Aerith, home svreen says 87% done * Did not love this bit with Aerith and twirling the lifestream around… eh * we kicked ironclad’s butt st try * Alright we took out Reno and then Rude… * Back with Aerith/Yuffie/Red 13 and we somehow dusted Elena/Tseng even worse than with Cloud and co. * Tifa stops Cloud from homecoming death Elena why doesn’t anyone die in this universe * Everybody is Batman * Sephiroth just murdering Tseng and now bro is… down cuz he got shot by a gun lmao * I don’t like them making me play as Aerith here…. * Cloud ain’t got a red laser at his chest here he’s gotta sit this one out hmmm * Okay seeing this Red 13 flashback and seeing how Hojo called him that, I get why he prefers to be called Nanaki * I wonder if the game could have given us a reason to yanno, care about Tifa’s dad * Damn seeing Barret with both his arms is wild… * Goddamn Barrets girl Myrna was a baddie brother was doing so well for himself * why the hell are these jerks LAUGHING at BABY AERITH falling to the ground? * Black materia brings destroyer of worlds… * We smoked those Demon Gates easily * Here goes cloud walking up to the black altar… * Cloud snags the black materia, cait sith comes running it, temple seemingly collapsing cuz duh all temples do that when there power thing is snagged * Cloud knows Aerith is trying to fool her saying it’s a fake * Heroic sacrifice by cait sith holding up the temple for a bit * Awwww cait and big moogle * Oh wow this end scene gets the BIG BUDGET money * OF COURSE cait sith has multiple bodies inevitably hilariously predictable * LMAOOOO BARRET TOSSING THE BLACK MATETIA RIGHT INTO SEPHIROTHS HAND THIS IS SO STUPID * CLOUD IN GKNNA BE MAD JF YOU HURT AERITH * What is this mind control on Cloud going on with involving Sephiroth… just hanging him the black materia * The jerk just cut off our branch to end chapter 13 Chapter 14 1st Playthrough Blind Thoughts * Oh no Aerith is awake before Cloud is… * Oh I tried to give her the pink hair Clíp * Oooh and it’s a fake choice, lol * Chico sticks? Nope DENIED again * I went with a dance hold for the photo cuz Cloud would never do that * Was that tiny bomb supposed to take out the whole Reactor? * “I’m useless” wait what Biggs? * Boggs just drops dead? * Yea I figured it was the church * Aerith gives us white materia and a hug… and pushed us backwards? * What the hell is going on man? Aerith popping out from the tree again * 56 hours, 40min in we take control of the gang yet again, party level 8 335/490, Clould level 48 * Vincent is such a bro thanks man * “Final preparations here we bloody go” * CLOUD STOPS SEPHIROTH FROM STABBING AERITH * OR NOT? I’m so confused * Jenova Lifeclinger beat 1st try fun fight mixing in members of the entire squad * Alright that first fight against Sephiroth with zack wasn’t too difficult * Won that next segment with BARRET/Red/Cait with relative ease vs Bahamut * Welp died to his heartless angel unfortunately while fighting with Aerith that sucks * HELLO?????? BRO JUST DIED AN OCTOLASH AND WE JUST DIE???? * Oh my goodness… clutch Sorceress Storm by Aerith before “The End is Nigh” finished us, 3 attempts for final boss isn’t bad * “He knows this isn’t over” of course there’s a 3rd game! * Cloud tells Aerith to wake up O___O * Good job Rufus shooting Glenn * Out on the plains and Cloud had the white and black materia… talking bout a “reunion” * We really leaving Aerith in these plains? * “No promises await at Journey’s End” * Aaaaand credits roll…. Woo buddy! * So all in all… my thoughts. I’m somewhat cofnused. Obviously there are some multiple timeline shenanigans and ones where Aerith lives and dies. She’s capable of knowing some stuff that’s happened. I very much enjoyed the game flaws and all and there’s so much to write about. I had a deadline to finish and being able to come back to this in the future and enjoy all the side content and trophy hunting will be fun when that time comes. * My gut reaction would be I’d say I like it a bit less than the 1st game due to the fact… I can’t as easily bypass certain ridiculous elements. Cloud constant TV static over the past. Dumb mindless plot contrivances. Sephiroth always pissing off when we fight him at the end of games. Some confusion with the Turks and how nobody ever dies ever. * 59 hours, 15min WE DONE BABY!!!! * Chapter 14 Chapter Finish: 3.34% ultra rare, 614 achievers, 18,395 owners * I can’t wait to come back to this and do all the side stuff POST-GAME CLEAN-UP NORMAL MODE * Chapter 13, going back to the Grasslands and doing the Beck Job Interview * Honestly the thug making some pretty compelling points to Beck and co. * Apparently 4 weapons I missed: Resounding Megaphone, Red Megaphone, Tigerr Fangs, & Igbneous Saber * Turning on auto collect items is an AMAZING feature for open world resource gathering on chocobo * Just a bit annoyed I don’t have Cait Sith accessible for chapter 13 open world business * Got sub -1:44:00 time on the Priscilla Dolphin riding side quest for dark matter with ease * Okay wow that Hell Rider II fight is quite tricky shoutout to you Commander lady * CHADLEY REALLY SAID MY WORLD INTEL COLLECTION HAS STALLED AS OF LATE? THE NERVE * Alright I just discovered the Card Carnival in Costa del Sol… more Queen’s Blood baby! * I enjoy the calm Kalm music * I enjoy Queen’s Blood but the puzzles are too big brain for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_18qmlgAeHo * ooooooh we had to wait until now to continue the protorelic in Cornel Region because Corneo works w/ the Goblin * This game is awesome and just fun to hangout in * Yuffie >>>> Aerith in the cactuar challenges * Oh yea I had totally forgotten about the Sand Giant…. * Hah didn’t think we’d actually fight Kid G but it was a decent competitive fight! * Stopping here for the day, 62 hours, 13 min and entering the Gongaga Region of clean-up for World Intel, party level 8 485/490, Cloud Level 51, etc… * Now in Gongaga with the Weaponsmith Izo fawning over Barret’s gun arm * Wow we kicked the Great Malboro’s ass with strong ice spells, not even a contest * Gongaga region been aight, some of the traversal is annoying not knowing how to get to intel spots * Got the Protorelic in Gongaga, who the hell is the Eccentric Swordsman? * Fought the Gigantoad that Cissnei made us follow up those dumb watchpoints * Cloud struggling to remember the hoes from his past * Gongaga Region DONE! 65 hours, 55 minutes, party level 9 160/605, Cloud Level 54 good stuff on to Cosmo Canyon! * Just spent a solid 25min fighting for my life getting the A rank (17,600) for the Two Legs? Nothin’ to It Piano Song * Protorelic relic in Cosmo Canyon gives emphasis on Biggs/Jesse… hmm.. * Okay that 2nd Chocobo Training Course is goofy Yuffie didn’t gain height when ascending, but I got it with the aid of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1pV_Fk38uY * Aww this Aerith/Cloud photography Side Quest is pretty cute * Wow we stomped the Jabberwock… hardest part was finding entrance to the fight lol * Okay we whooped Eccentric Swordsman’s butt even with no MP and 1/4 health haha * Irasceros enemy was STOMPED OUT by me in that final Gi Nattak Side Quest… * Okay tracking down the Gigaworm with the vibrator or whatever side quest was eh but we done with Cosmo Canyon! * Cosmo Canyon Region DONE! 71 hours, 21 minutes, party level 9 375/605, Cloud Level 57, most materia upgraded most of the way just missing some levels in MP/HP and a few unique materias, we’re on to Nibelheim! * THEY TURNED CLOUD INTO A MOOGLE KUPO * Alright Fluffy and the other cats come running into the village after I fight some GIANT ASS BEES * A RANK FOR AERITH’S THEME WITHT TIFA TO THOSE BABY CATS BABY!! ELITE PLAY! * Blanca is a good name… I also finally found the final Queen’s Blood opponent a drone dude in the house * Oh snap Dorian is going ham on the piano now that we turned in A ranks for all songs… * Tifa’s Omnistrike is ridiculously good… super powerful, cleared up this Valentine Hojo underground side quest * Yoooo we got the Plumose Rod from completing those Hojo Lan Challenges, awesome! * Oh that’s funny Vincent Valentine is the final matchup for Queen’s Blood… what a great name * Beat Vince 18-15 in a good match, gimme yo Emerald Witch boi * SEPHIROTH SHOWS UP WHEN ALLT HE PROTORELICS ARE PUT TOGETHER? * Okay bro wasn’t all that much of a fight for collecting all those protorelics man… * Sephiroth talking about getting him the black materia, bruh, Barret will just hand it to you * Wow a whole new island to visit Gilgamesh? Aight, sounds good man! * Oh wow… the Chocobo Sage has a nice little mansion out here in the Nibel Region * hahaha he wanted us to round up Selena and we’ve had her for a solid 20+ hours * I can’t believe Chocobo Sam has lifetime beef with a somehwat nephew of his via old partner Will in Billy * DAMN that Swan Song move actually killed us vs King Zu… SHEESH! * Aight… taking on Regina as this chick final boss in the Gongaga Region… good lord * Alright it took us shuffling the deck around a bit but real estate game was won vs the Shadowblood Queen baby! She had an OP as heck deck man that card can get like +36 like it’s no time if you let it run the board * CHOKE ME REGINA * Woah… Leslie from the 1st game pops up in the Dust Bowl area * Tifa just kicked the crap outta Gus lmao * 77 hours in… almost all intel done except for Meridian Ocean now and the Gold Cup Side Quest, Cloud Level 63, Party Level 9 510/605 * Now doing Colissieum fights, died twice to the Marlboro in the Popularity Contest bout when trying with Cloud/Yuffie, beat him 1st try w/ Barret and Cloud * We just stomped out Hyperion in the Gold Cup races… RIP Chocobo Sam get DOMED son * “You stole the title” bro Sam I literally DOMINATED and went GOAT mode at the end of the 3rd race three straight 1st places * Oh Don Corneo is a bastard again, again, why doesn’t anybody good or bad die in this universe? * So his parents were vanished cuz they cared about protecting Chocobos and Billy refuses to play Sam’s coin toss game * lmao now we’re on the party animal side quest with the shinra middle manager unbelieveable * alright… 81 hours in, spent last 4 doing all gold saucer stuff, still got this side quest level, cloud level 70, party level 9, we’re max level and am gonna take 2 weeks away from the game, come back, wrap up all the mini games and remaining fights, gotta do all those combat simulations, and then all the hard modes and well on my way to the 200 hour platinum! Back in April after 3 full weeks away… avoided patch 1.20 and now continuing on with party animal * Okay finally mercifully beat the colissieum challenge those tonberry’s on Round 2 were nasty killed me like 6 times * WOOHOO CLOUD DANCING AS THE ULTIMATE PARTY ANIMAL BABY!!!!! * We’ve got 66/88 of Johnny’s treasures, here are the ones we have left… * 4, 6, 7, 23, 28, 32, 36, 38, 41, 45, 49, 50, 51, 54, 55, 60, 63, 65, 67, 68, 84, 85 * just whooped Sephiroth’s ass at the 3D brawler get rekt son * aight calling it a day after finishing all of the chocobo races getting back into the swing of things * Archfiends in the collissieum is kicking my ass so switching to combat simulator fights * OKAY FINALLY BEAT THAT FIGHT… good grief… took putting the king zu to sleep * Still grinding our way through the remaing fights… woo nelly, they ain’t lying about 250+ hour platinum * Okay that four-way deadlock fight with the jabber wick and Marlboro was brutal * ALRIGHT ITS ABOUT BLOODY TIME WE FINALLY BEAT THAT DAMN KING ZU AND MARLBORO FIGHT MAN 93 HOURS WE DONE WITH THE COLLISSEIUM * it’s hilarious how easy the ocean random boss fights are compared to that fight dusted them all 1st try * Bahamut and Titan ain’t on the same level as that collisium fight, stoppin ghere for the day * Woohoo! We just stumped Gilgamesh! Get rekt buddy! Good fight, but did it 1st try, fun theatrical enemy * aww that’s cute they have a cutscene for chadley and world intel data, “The Ark Library” * Still missing… * 85, 68, 67, 65, 63, 60, 55, 51, 50, 49, 45, 41(Chapter 12 Yuffie)S, 38(Chapter 12 Tifa), 32, 7(Junon parade), 6, 4 * Shoutout to the Fort Condor IGN ballista guide - https://www.ign.com/wikis/final-fantasy-7-rebirth/Fort_Condor_Hard_Mode_Guide * We’ve got a 73-49 lead entering round 5 of nightmare challenge… DO NOT FUMBLE THIS… IT’S OVER WE WIN 101-84 BABY! * Shoutout to this strategy being the MVP cuz if not I would have been there for hours: https://techraptor.net/gaming/guides/final-fantasy-vii-rebirth-queens-blood-nightmare-survival-challenge-guide * Strategy for hard Desert Rush - * Replaying Chapter 1… in hindsight I thought this guy Zangan would be a way bigger deal. Cowboy Tifa still looks hilarious. Is that soldier trooper who takes the hit supposed to be Zack? In hindsight, what a bold creative decision to make Sephiroth our buddy we hangout with in Chapter 1 with Tifa. Picking up Mako remains bad, sluggish, gameplay variance. Oh no a 2nd one of these that’s bad. We beat the Materia Guardian with ease. Heck yea brother. Love how Zack doesn’t say anything when Sephiroth tells him to keep Tifa safe. Game makes you L2+R2 slowly to close the valve FIVE bloody times. I like the line - “Ah Cloud, I’ve come across the most fascinating passage.” Cloud limping fire Nibelheim sequence is agonizing. IM COMING. L2+R2 crawling is hilarious. Bro just stands there as his buddies get slit. Somebody should count how many times during the game Cloud gets those head static migraines. I’ll half ass count it at 1 while Tifa talking. Why does Aerith have pajama gear yet Tifa sleeps in that same sweaty white tank top? Why don’t Barret or Cloud have pajamas? I forgot about the late night Tifa booty call. 2 head statics. Oh yea the game never showing us Tifa’s scar is also annoying. 3 head statics. Tifa gonna give bro an aneurysm. Damn that is a cold line. “I thought I was happy to see you again, guess I was wrong.” These are some LOW beds practically hugging the floor. We’ve completed Chapter 1 on Hard Difficulty! Died 0 times. 111 hours, 11 minutes. All in all in hindsight, not the best opening chapter. When I first played it, it was fun just to be back in the swing of things with all these characters but it’s quite slow, lots of backstory, Sephiroth novelty is cool, the super slow segments are not. * Replaying Chapter 2… it’s wild how much cooler Red 13 sounds before he switched back to his child voice. Revisiting Kalm is such a pleasant introductory town. Crouching along the Kalm rooftops isn’t great but not as slow/bad as chapter 1 limping. Aerith’s “on a date, kind of” and Tifa’s reaction is funny. I AM SO UPSET! I DECIDED TO FIGHT THE FINAL BRUTAL BATTLE AND DIED AT VIRTUAL SEPHIROTH 30% HEALTH SINCE BARRET RAN OUTTA MP TO REVIVE CLOUD DANG IT MAN THAT WAS THE ONE. OH MY GOD WE FINALLY DID IT!!! NEXT MATCH!!!! THAT WAS SO FREAKING CLOSE BUT THE LIMIT SIPHON AND FREEZING TIME TO PARRY HIS SHADOWY CHAINS LEADS TO VICTORY! THANK GOD! Gotterdammerung is gonna be so bloody broken lmao okay progressing with the chapter I forgot how much the Chocobo catching bits SUCKED. You finally get the grasslands open world, go to the farm, test out the chocobo, go through the swamp, fight the big snake. Okay Midgodsamr was NOT easy. Died 1 time this chapter because I went in with wrong materia on all of Aerith/Tifa. Beat him next time with Barret/Red 13 but it was NOT easy. Can’t treat Hard Mode like baby mode just cuz I got a lot of maxed out gear. 114 hours, 34 minutes but the bulk of that was fighting in the combat simulator. Overall good chapter to get you settled in with the proper routine of the open world nature of the game. * Replaying Chapter 3… running through the mines fast pace, this is a throwback to the original ff7 remake and the linear nature with splitting off into different teams and such, lmao I forgot that Tifa saying “assholes” exposes us to Elena and Rude hilarious, alright we totally kicked their ass this trio of Cloud/Aerith/Tifa is OP as hell legit destroyed them 1st try. Oh yea Elena throws a live GRENADE at us in case you forget this isn’t hunky dory nobody ever gets hurt. there’s this Barret/Red 13 section which I think is the only one in the game where we main as Barret. moving the minecarts is kinda slow but not terrible even if not a ton of fun. you fly through this section when not blowing up rocks w/ barret. shoutout to the game’s not so subtle nudging of lightning materia right before the boss fight. Died 3 times to the Mythril Guardian but finally got him with iron defensive play, attacking the head with thunder, and a final Barret limit break abuse! Nearly died to those 2 ogres in the fight right after with Cloud and the girls tho lmao. End of Chapter 3, 115 hours, 45 minutes. Good chapter, throwback to the FF7 Remake, enjoy each character getting spotlight. * Replaying Chapter 4… pulling up to Under Junon. oh lol I had forgotten Yuffie was the one in the boat being attacked by the big fish. We managed to beat Terror of the Deep on my 1st try with zero deaths. That’s quite the fun fight man. I had forgotten Yuffie flips out at Cloud’s chest compressions. Hah I love the way Yuffie runs. Innkeeper has a struggling business and say the stay is on us despite us having 180k+ gil. Talk about FRUGALNESS Cloud. Aerith talking to Red 13 and Cloud doesn’t look in to see it’s Red lmao… why does Aerith say: “All clear here officer” hmmm she’s calling us a COP. Aerith’s “never regift a present from a girl” advice is great stuff. I love these quieter moments in the game. Tifa getting all bashful when we tell her the only person we remember from Nibelheim is her. Girls leaning up aaginst the door liek that having chatting with a dude is so awesome man. Think it only happens in fiction. Now we get Yuffie’s pitch on joining the team. Yuffie is like me and likes forcing people to guess even if they can’t possibly give the correct answer. Now doing the Cloud legendary bout and WOW that White Terror is NOT easy man. Alright! We took a break to complete Cloud’s bout vs The Warriors. Died twice to the Ironclad at the end but third time’s the charm. 15min, 26 sec on it! Priscilla gives me strong Final Fantasy 10 energy. Is it ever explained why Shinra soldiers don’t care about us strolling upon their ship? LMAO NPC saying “Rufus Shinra is a total hunk”. Super cool visuals here. Skipping the Rufus/Wutai gibberish. I also love how Cloud knows exactly what to click every time we come upon a terminal. This section of the game is wildly enjoyable. Here we’ve got Commander Dommy Mommy again. I love the bit of recruiting the 10 infanty units and finding the bald bar. Managed to find all 10 units again without needing a guide, barracks were once again the last 2 recruited lol. AIGHT AFTER A FEW EARLY RESETS… but afterwards I felt I did pretty great…. got 101,498 this time that’s gotta be enough baby! Please! We got the trophy baby! Good job by us! Now we gotta finish the level with all the surviving infantry units. We managed to make it through without losing any of the 5 quite straightforwardly. Okay I’m embarassed I died 3 times to Roche. Got him the 4th time tho. End of Chapter 4, died 3 times, 118 hours, 58 minutes. Best chapter in the game thus far. Even loved replaying it. Watched a lot of the cutscenes again too. * Replaying Chapter 5… I love this cruise ship man fondest memories on that 1st playthrough came here. Madam M and the Queen’s Blood chick bumping past each other. LMAO I forfeited the tournament and they said the presssure was too much for me. We still get Red 13 cameo in soldier gear. Interesting the developers were cool with letting users skip the tournament of their fun minigame but still play one match vs Red 13. I forfeited without rematch and Red 13 gets the trophy lmao. I loved this part of the game 1st attempt. Then attacked at night mobs fighting in cargo with Tifa before Jenova fight. Died 1 time but beat him the 2nd attempt thanks to Tifa absolutely rocking this dude’s world with True Strike and raising that stagger damage %. End of Chapter 5, died 1 time, 119 hours, 42 minutes. SUPER short chapter if you skip the tournament, right now I’d edge it just a little over chapter 4 in terms of All-Time because I REALLY loved my time with the game during this section. * Replaying Chapter 6… arriving at Costa del Sol and going to Johnny’s beat to hell hotel and playing mini games. Then playing as Aerith/Tifa on also playing mini games. This time we got Aerith in the short get-up and Tifa wearing one where her cannons ain’t so out super noticable. OH YEA Hojo and his hoes! We fight the Grasptropod and beat him 1ST TRY because we’re just that good. Great fight! I love this quiet beach section and then getting bombarded with Yuffie about joining the team… it’s hilarious what happens when you say no and with that, chapter 6 is over! Wow, just flying through thse chapters now. End of Chapter 6, died 0 times, 120 hours, 13 minutes. * Replaying Chapter 7… before continuing on from Costa del Sol, lemme go ahead and try to knock out some more Legendary bouts. Alright! We completed Barret’s Legendary bout vs. The Colossi, died 1 time to the Adamantoise but beat him 2nd time thanks to clutch Phoenix revival. Alright now completed Tifa’s legendary bout vs the Martialists Again, died 1 time to Kid G but after that was a breeze. 14 minutes and 54 seconds. Barret’s took 15 minutes and 11 seconds. Ayyyy! We also now did Aerith’s and that was surprisingly much easier than many of the other legendary bouts. Arcane Ward+Radiant Ward+Transcendece II is OP! Aaaaaand now Red 13 legendary bout vs the Beasts is done! That one was tougher on the Toad at first but eventually I got the hang of it in 11 minutes and 13 seconds! DANG IT! DIED TWICE WITH YUFFIE TO THAT DAMN KING ZU SPAMMING SWAN SONG THE JEEEEEERK. Okay we finally did it. Had to add lightning to replace steadfast block in Yuffie’s set and just Thundaga every time he did Swan Song because we couldn’t do enough damage before he killed us without it. 9 minutes, 31 seconds. WE DID IT! Time is now at 124 hours and good to progress with Chapter 7. Thank goodness. Now we can fly through the game until we add Cait Sith to the squad. Mt. Corel they prevent me going up the mountain by myself… Climbed up Mt. Corel w/ Aerith/Red 13 and that is a decent section. Damn we just OWNED the Custom Valkyrie with this crew. Having the elemantal materia and fire on Cloud made it so he was unstoppable while Aerith did damage from a distance with Thundaga. I had honestly kinda forgotten the fight and thought it was gonna be against Elena again lol. We get the Shinra executive board cutscene and then playing as damn Zack again. We now continue on to the Corel reactor which is a sick visual. Okay I put the moogle disguise on Yuffie and it is hella distracting, good remove it for her monologues lol. We get the cool gigantic fish jumping out of the sea. The main scenario “For the Cause” lmao. Now we’ve got Cloud who has odd fatigue so he’s outta comission. Now we have the Yuffie focused section in the mountain with those poles with Tifa/Barret that I got turned around on a few times. Okay that section was a lot more enjoyable the 2nd time around not as lost. Killed the bomb 1 v. 1 with Yuffie this time lol. LMAO we just annihilated Gigatrice man that was so mean with like 5x Barret Satellite Beams by spamming Limit Booster+Enhancerd+Goterdammerung just so OP man that was hilarious. 98 boxes, 8 shipping crates, went with Barret’s route and I love Yuffie’s “I HATE YOU CLOUD” on the big leap. We pull up the Mount Corel and everybody hates on Barret. They pour a drink on his head. We’re then given the ability to head straight to the Gold Saucer… hell yeah baby! Before that, we get Barret’s whole backstory in Corel. People salt of the earth and how he sold ‘em out. We get taken to 6 years earlier, leaders of the town feature Dyne, Barret, & Mayor over decision to upgrade to mako over coal. Scarlet there giving a selling pitch. It’s tough. Metaphors here for technology and advancement. 2 years later Mako takes over and things go well early… reactor explodes. Shinra comes to clean up the aftermath with MURDER. I like Yuffie’s “THAT BITCH”. Shinra tried to paint it as local protestors. I love that Barret background sequence is one of the best in the series and the fact the crew is distracted by the gold saucer sparkle is kinda dickish. End of Chapter 7, died 0 times, 125 hours, 55 minutes. * Replaying Chapter 8… HIGH RES INTRO SEQUENCE OF GOLD SAUCER! I LOVED this on my first play man. We get a cutscene of Palmer complaining about having to pass out flyers and then… the AMAZING cutscene. There’s Cait Sith! We’ve got Yuffie in her Wutai outfit. Andre Rhodea hits ‘em with his own moves. Dio and Yuffie’s reactions lmaooooo this is why this game is GOATED man. Of course we dominate Dio again. Aerith brings up the honeybee inn lmao. Oh another head static! What is that, 6th time? Sephiroth is a bro and says we should go have fun. “When Mako’s gone this won’t last”. Good point Cloud. I love Barret hating on the place “tacky and understaffed”. “You shall forever lose what you cherish most” fortune mmmph. That Tonberry is hilarious. “Adjusting humidity levels”. I dislike the Zack cutscene walking around the room. Cloud only sleeps for 2 hours. We skip the mini-games and go straight to Skywheel Square cuz uhhh.. Dyne shot up the place. We now go on down to the Dust Bowl. Peeps get imprisoned and now we gotta work for the Chocobo race. But we can skip through it and procede with Esther. “Don’t see why it can’t be both damn is Esther flirting with us? LMAO I had forgotten about Palmer talking about “surviving” the Gold Saucer shooting hahahaha. I had totally forgotten how Gus slaps his own henchman after we win lmao. We find Barret in the desert after being let out and now get Barret’s further extneded backstory. Scarlet shoots off Barret’s arm as Dyne falls through the chasm. Dyne fight was tough. Died 1 time. Fire spells and clutch blocking along with Chakra got me through. Dyne dies. We then defeat an Anuran Suppresor on our 1st try! Well done by Cloud/Aerith/Tifa. Palmer shaking his butt at us is hilarious. Oh wow the game just let’s you straight up skip the Plamer / Buggy firing section with Barret that’s interesting didn’t know that. Shoutout to Tifa getting Elena off the hood of the car. I dislike the section playing with Zack afterwards looking for Biggs. That marks the End of Chapter 8, died 1 time, 127 hours, 33 minutes, 27 seconds. * Replaying Chapter 9… now we’re destined for Gongaga. Yuffie makes us stop the car to throw up. Cait Sith joins the party! While progressing through the story I’ll be adding to his last abilities I need to learn along with the limit breaks for that trophy. Shoutout to Cissnei! Chadley’s “perhaps you’re having an off day” after losing in the combat simulator is the perfect receipe to piss me off. Lmao Yuffie’s “I am so, so bored… bored right out of my brain” song. Alright we just kicked Mindlfayer’s ass man, shoutout to Moogle for taking all the heat and dominating distracting attention. Even got the 300% stagger trophy amazingly enough! Done in 14min and 34sec. We’ll pause here, come back tomorrow, try not to knock out the last two legendary bouts and then fly through the rest of the game on Hard. Welp. I am sad. 47min & 36sec down the drain on the Cloud/Zack fight because Bahamut Arisen Gigalfare just destroyed me and with Reraise just on Cloud, I was screwed. Gosh darn it. Continuing onwards at 130 hours, 25 minutes. Continuing with Chap 9, we meet Zack’s parents and Cloud gets 7th head static. Aerith says “maybe” to still liking Zack. Thus dude sucks. 8 head statics. 9 head statics going through beat to hell gongaga reactor with the boys. Specimen H1024 defeated 1ST TRY baby… Cait Sith op as hell. Destroyed him with Moogle Knuckle. Think like 12 head statics at this point. Now running in with the girls on Chocobos mushroom hopping. Beat Scarlet’s Crimson Mare Mk. II on my 2nd attempt. Died the first time because I didn’t have Revive on Aerith foolishly enough. Fun fight with Yuffie doing damage from afar and Tifa doing damage in close while Aerith plays support. Now we get one of the dumbest story moments in the whole game with Cloud being super vicious, finally blood splatter on his face and with 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 22+, 25+ times, he slashes at Tifa and just dives into the Mako nuclear pit. She gets swallowed by the big materia fish lmao. Him screaming “TIFAAAAAA” isn’t great. Whispers against each other. Don’t live this revisiting Tifa’s memory sequence. Now we get the Cissnei cabin pep talk for heading to Cosmo Canyon. ALRIGHT! Completed the Legendary Bout: To Be A Hero with Sephiroth. 32 minutes and 57 seconds. Having those Rearise for free with the Double Helix is so bloody clutch. Only one legendary bout left but it pissed me off I already died once to it today. Thus we’ll save it for tomorrow. We continue on with Chapter 9… “Come to me Airplane, follow the smoke!” 1,000 gil to rid on Cid’s Bronco. Wait. What? We finish up and that marks the End of Chapter 9, died 1 time, 132 hours, 55 minutes. * Replaying Chapter 10… (write about mini terrified heart attack of losing 130 hours worth of progress with corrupted save after database reset. Deleted game. Reinstalled it with patch and it works thank GOODNESS) Oh yea I forgot Red 13 was originally gonna stay with Cosmo Canyon. Now he’s got his bitch voice again. Going through Bugenhagen’s scruples and such. He calls us dumbasses on plantetology. I dig this dude’s wrinkles. This is a good high res cutscene showing all the planets. Now we join the hippie discussion with all these freaks. We just told “to hell to everyone” with Tifa. Yuffie the atheist. We get Aerith’s speech on being an ancient with the tiki torch. We get 3 stars for encouraging her. Hah using an elevator forces camera tight so they can teleport the crew on board. Now we get the obligated Red 13/Barret watcher section. Just dominating with Guttersdammerung on Red and Enhanced Medal+Limit Siphon on Barret with satellite beam. The pick up and drop statues and hooks is eh but not terrible because it’s not slow. No vending machines but like some odd hut. Beat Gi Nattak 1st try! Wow! That stuns me. The 1st time we faced him he gave us quite the fright but not this time. Barret’s constant satellite beams had his health melt like CRAZY. Red 13 cries over the truth of his father. Oh right… after this bit we now have bro with the mask talking to us who wants us to get the BLACK materia. Oh no. A Zack/Biggs sequence. My favorite. We reach the end of this little Gi Village section and Cait Sith realizes the temple the Gi is referring to. Cloud oddly decides to trust Cait Sith without our input. Ooooh that’s right now the cloak bros come up and provoke us to go to Nibelheim. That’s right. Now that marks the End of Chapter 10, died 0 times, 135 hours, 0 minutes. * Replaying Chapter 11… 28 head statics now. First time since the slashing Tifa yanno. 29. They all be talking about the black materia. We pull up to the crib and Nibelheim is somehow… all good! 29 head statics. 30 head statics. 31, 32 head statics. Seeing Zack flashback. 33. 34. We agree to head to the reactor and now we get Tifa/yuffie time. Like 40 head statics now. Absurd. HOLY CRAP WE JUST MELTED DIABOLIC VARIANT. That felt like we were on easy mode oh my god. Just DESTROYED him first try. Murasaki died in a skirmish with Wutai. They’ve got the keycard and Cait Sith communicates via the terminal. Ooooh that’s right now we play as him as the main guy with Barret and Tifa. Hojo pops in digitally and sends us down a bit. Real… Corneo energy. Now we have this bloody Cait Sith session where we have to throw boxes around with the big moogle. Died vs the two adjucators. Won the next time at 1Hp. Reprieve also saved me to prevent dying during the Yin/Yang fight. ALRIGHT WE SMOKED THE 10 BOXES BROKEN! Got an elixir and still had 35 seconds to spare! Beat the Forgotten Specimen first try fairly straightforwardly with the same methods we’ve been using all chapters. Barret’s such a beast. Moogle Knuckle when staggered. Aerith for heal and support. Now we get the cutscene with discovering none other than Vincent Valentine… AMAZING name. LMAOOO saying Shinra is our foe and Cait Sith is like “foe-evarite” lmao. Real answer is Sephiroth duh. Bro just decides to go back to sleep. 41 head statics. 42. 43. 44. 45. Walking towards that blue plug or whatever. Now we’ve gotta fight Valentine. Died to chaos flare from Vincent Galian Beast. Managed to beat him the 2nd attempt with a clutch Gilgamesh 9999 damage move after Cloud fainted at the end. Phew. Valentine bro gets his ass beat and goes back to sleep. What a mood. Cait sith deviates us from the temple to first go back to the saucer and get the keystone… missing for 20 years. Hilarious. Cloud oddly trusting and bro says “thank ya, thank ya”. Died 2 times to Roche. So annoyed. He doesn’t deserve those victories. But well done, beat him the 3rd time with some fire and clutch parries + infinity end despite having only half my MP to start the fight. End of Chapter 11 with Cid crashing the boat, died 4 times, 138 hours, 13 minutes. * 137 hours and 22 minutes kinda wanna try the Cloud/Zack fight again.. Died to the Phoenix. Damn man. * Replaying Chapter 12.. We go to the Gold Saucer and find Aerith in Battle Square while finding a battered Dio. Welp i’m upset. We grinded AP on stuff like Swiftcast and MP Absorption and such and died at level 7 15min & 22sec in to a bloody divine judgement gosh dang it man. GODDAMIT. DIED AGAIN BUT THIS TIME TO BAHAMUT 22min / 6sec to a bloody gigaflare. DAMMIT! DIED ONCE TO MINDFLAYER,. THEN I DIED TO ODIN’S STUPID ASS ZANTETSUKU UGHHH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1YLRVzvXxw&list=WL&index=3 I AM STUCK ON THIS DAMN LEGENDARY FIGHT. WE GO AGAIN. * Have died two more times. Once to Gigaflare Bahamut and the 2nd run which was golden throughout due to getting screwed over twice with spatial distortion vs Odin and even with rearise and phoenix dying. I’m upset. But I know I’ll get this. We’re going to get this tonight even if it kills me. Now we just died to Alexander because I got cocky. Goddammit. okay we just died in a STUPID fashion to Mindflayer. I’m rage quitting for the day. Did not expect this to kick my ass THiS hard man goddamn. We better get it tomorrow. Back a day later and died to a quick Odin Zantetsuku. Goddamn. Died once again to Odin. Even with rearise and a great run. Got screwed by temporal imprisonment and he killed me. Asshole. DIED AGAIN TO ODIN ON THE SAME BULLSHIT MOVIE FUCK THIS GUY. Died to odin again as he did 3 BLOODY ZANTETSUKEN WITH TEMPORAL IMPRISONMENT TO FINALLY KILL JUST CLOUD WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS BLOODY FIGHT. FINALLY DID IT!!! AFTER WITNESSING THE DEFENSIVE FORTRESS AND DISASTER OFFENSE OF REAL MADRID SURVIVING VS MAN CITY, I BLOODY DID IT. HELL YEAH. CLUTCH REVIVE AND PLAY BY ZACK WITH SOME BLOCKS BUT WE’RE FINALLY DONE WITH THIS AT 151 HOURS AND HAVE THE VIDEO SAVED. READY TO MOVE ON WITH CHAPTER 12 AND THE FINAL HARD CHAPTERS!!! WOOHOO!!!!! * Replaying Chapter 12… 151 hours and 52min lets go on with the game. Odd cutscene between aerith and Cait Sith. Hahah Barret waiting for us here to go see the Loveless play with Jesse. I love the play and impersonating the various characters and such on the stage with timing the different movements. Super enjoyable bit. It’s nice being on this wheel with Barret man. OH SNAP BARRET ASKING US WHO OUR SOULMATE IS. Straight up calling us out. That was a quiet, nice sequence. Now we’re on to the fight with Dio announcing. Then he gets interrumpted by Scotch and Kotch. LMAO I Love it. THIS IS SO AMAZING MAN WHY IS IT SUCH A BOP. Tonberry with Corneo hair is hilarious. “You don’t want to smell what the Donberry’s cooking” lmao. Managed to defeat Corneo & Abzu 1st try but it still made me sweat a little at the end. Now we get a dumb cutscene where Elena comes in and swoops the prized item. I do enjoy that Dio stops and whistles in the resting before the festivities continue. We died 1 time to Rude/Elena due to that bloody Turk Two Step but beat them the 2nd time. Died 12 times vs Rufus. Dammit. Finally beat him with a clutch Finishing Touch Limit Break. Piss off skirt bro. We then have this goofy Cait Sith chasedown sequence. We get betrayed by Cait Sith. End of Chapter 12, died 12 times, 154 hours, 0 minutes. Now going back through Chapter 12 and hearing Yuffie go “YO!” is adorable. Seeing Yuffie in the special dress in the playis wild. Now seeing Yuffie cutscene and mentioning Tifa having a big crush on Cloud. Cloud remains coy. “I had a thing for a soldier once”. Cloud says “feelings aren’t his thing” lol. Now we’re doing Tifa’s. YOU CAN SEE THE PILLOW MARKS FROM HERE TIFA? Wow Cloud is way more willing when it’s Tifa. Wow we got an SS rank with Cloud and Tifa. Cloud asks if Tifa talked to Aerith about remembering Zack… but Tifa hasn’t spoken to her yet. YOOOO THEY ACTUALLY HAVE CLOUD KISS TIFA IN THIS???? NO FREAKING WAY BROTHER. AINT NO WAY. TIFA GON BE SHOOK FOR LIFE. Alright let’s go ahead and open up that chest at Johnny’s we’ve got all 88 items! * Replaying Chapter 13… we got a bunch of Johnny’s going DUUH DUUH DUUH DUN DUN DUN!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH BRO FOR EVERYTHING! Wow and the reword is the One-Winged Angel song. hahhahaha. start of chapter 154hr, 48min. Let’s finish up this game y’all! Opening fight is against an onslaught of soldiers. I honestly don’t enjoy Chapter 13, at the very least the start of all that much due to the incessant confusion over the crystals and slow vine climbing. Died 1 time to the Red Dragon on that BS crimson breathe III move but got him the next time get rekt bud. We then have the final stretch moving those damn little spheres around to block the green waves with Cloud/Tifa/Barret before switching to crystal energy hunting with Red 13/Aerith/Yuffie. Honestly, this gathering the energy with triangle and stopping to pray for a full cycle for every little green speck is obnoxious. Why not make it quicker? I enjoy this Ironclad mini-fight. It’s solid. Rude/Reno fight and I took them out with ease 1st try. Hell yea. I love seeing Yuffie do the chicken at Tseng/Elena. We also beat them 1st try! These Turks just ain’t got it like their daddy Rufus. We then get to the pyramid thing and we get all the trials. Red 13 lab torture. Tifa burnt town trauma. Yuffie with Sonom soldier boy. Barret with 2 arms is so weird. Myna was STACKED brother what a chad. “My mom is sick!” Aerith bit. Cloud remembers Biggs/Jesse. Now we walking through the Cetra explanation bit. LMAO DIED TO THE MOSS TORTOISE LAUNCHING FIREBALLS CONSTANTLY THE JERK. Died 3 times to Demon Gate until switching our element from aero to ice and then we got him. Fun fight. Now we got Cloud laughing before clasping the black materia. Temple starts collapsing and Cait Sith comes in to save the day. I’d be dead running down a flight of stairs like that. Barret tosses the materia into Sephiroth’s grasp and now we got the big ending bruh… End of Chapter 13, Died 4 times, 157 hours, 41 minutes. * Replaying Chapter 14… Cloud going after Aerith and damn am I sick of that L2+R2 crawling. we’re now in some ethereal forest of some type. I appreciate how Vincent Valentine just tags along for the whole end journey of the game. Forgotten Capital is the heart of old Cetra life. Wow now we get a suprt high res cutscene and they take away Yuffie’s Wutai popstar outfit. Shoutout to Valentine helping clear the way for us to pass through. Walking up to Aerith praying and having the whispers trying to interfere is pretty good with how annoyed I’ve been at the other cinematic moments. Cloud saves Aerith from being gutted. 49 head static. What is that white materia? 54 head static. In some there’s blood with Tifa watching and some there’s not? 62head statics. I wonder who made Sephiroth’s outfit. Died 3 times Jenova Lifeclinger. FINALLY BEAT HIM! THANK YOU CLUTCH MOOGLE KNUCKLE WITH CAIT SITH AND YUFFIE LIMIT BREAK. Won that 1st phase with Zack on my 1st attempt. Died once to the Sephiroth Reborn on the Heartless Angel but got him next time. Bahamut Arisen was a bit not that tough but not easy either this is still Hard Mode. Pushed Sephiroth Reborn on 2nd try after died because I didn’t ayyack the wings with proper affinities. LET’S END THIS! Died 1 time against Sephiroth but got him the 2nd time and got him in epic fashion with a limit break with low health. Heck yea brother! We now get the ending cutscenes with Cloud picking up a passed out or… dead Aerith? But nah? Cuz white whispers? oh hey 65 head statics him reacting to the white materia dropping and having Aerith next to him. Sorta like showing what happened in the original timeline? Glenn is Sephiroth’s father? Rufus shoots ‘em dead. 68 head statics. Cloud in the Grasslands sorta region and sticks a materia in his sword before setting off with Cid and co. and leaving Aerith behind hmmm. “No Promises Await at Journey’s End” PLATINUM COMPLETE! 159 hours, 44 minutes. We did it in sub-160 hours! 250th platinum secured. Wow. Can’t believe it’s finally over. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Copanele Posted May 4 Share Posted May 4 Dear god that is a Masters degree in Final Fantasy 7... I will say, mega congrats for playing AND writing that mad review. I will be completely honest, I read all that over the course of several days and I don't think I understand even 1/4 of what happens in that game 😂 but it does look like this is THE game for you, which is always nice to see 😁 I have watched some videos with the game(including the Tifa+Aerith swimsuits heh) and unlike any other jRPG, this time I am actually interested! I am really NOT a fan of jRPGs but this one looks like something I would enjoy 😁 and your Yakuza comparison kinda puts more convincing points there. Maybe one day I'll discover what is so special about chocobos 😆 But I think I will wait for part 3 just to make sure I won't invest 300+ hours playing Japanese Gwent for nothing. At least the minigames sound fun! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 (edited) On 5/4/2024 at 11:38 AM, Copanele said: Dear god that is a Masters degree in Final Fantasy 7... I will say, mega congrats for playing AND writing that mad review. I will be completely honest, I read all that over the course of several days and I don't think I understand even 1/4 of what happens in that game 😂 but it does look like this is THE game for you, which is always nice to see 😁 It really is. It's such a comfortable template for a game between the narrowed, focused sections and the freer open-world bits. While I'm enjoying going back to a variety of games again, if you told me, "hey 6 months from now here's 50 more hours off FF7" I'd sign up for it in a heartbeat. On 5/4/2024 at 11:38 AM, Copanele said: I have watched some videos with the game(including the Tifa+Aerith swimsuits heh) and unlike any other jRPG, this time I am actually interested! I am really NOT a fan of jRPGs but this one looks like something I would enjoy 😁 and your Yakuza comparison kinda puts more convincing points there. Maybe one day I'll discover what is so special about chocobos 😆 I never thought I'd be a fan honestly either. I remember downloading the FF7 Remake for PS+ Users and thinking: "maybe this'll be aight" as someone who had totally avoided Final Fantasy until then and yea... it got me hooked. I also feel strongly about those Yakuza similarities. The game shines in it's goofiness. I was surprised to hear some reviews about the game from others complain that they wished the game would get on back with the main story as I just find the "chilling with the crew" segments to be the best part of the game. Chocobos look awesome. Catching them in the game though is ☠️ On 5/4/2024 at 11:38 AM, Copanele said: But I think I will wait for part 3 just to make sure I won't invest 300+ hours playing Japanese Gwent for nothing. At least the minigames sound fun! Good call. Given the way the developers have been talking, 2027 or early 2028 seems like the most feasible release point. They have all of the infrastructure in place, now it's just about wrapping up the final part of the story. Given the size and scale of the games... if they managed to put out 3 50+ hour games in the span of 8 years or so, that is an INCREDIBLE achievement by Square Enix. It's been a minute since I've written an article... Edited May 6 by realm722 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post realm722 Posted May 8 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 8 Developer Check-In: 2024 Edition - What Are My Favorite Devs Up To? It's incredibly important to know where to get the good stuff. This applies to everything in life. Food, entertainment, drugs, you name it. In order to find the good stuff, you need to figure out where the hell it comes from. In the case of food, find the stuff you already like and go from there. If you like a movie, figure out who the director is and check out if you enjoy more of his stuff. For video games, it boils down to the developer. Sure, after enough years pass by, perhaps the creative minds that once made your favorite games have well moved on and no longer work for the company. Just go ahead and ask Bioware fans. But given the majority of my favorite games are indie, I figured now would be as good a time as any to check out what all the developers from my favorite games played and reviewed on this thread are currently up to. Did they just have their latest game released? Have they announced it? Is there radio silence? Consider this post as a helpful check-in to see what's up with all of them. Developers With a 9.0+ Rated Game By Me Supergiant Games (Hades, Pyre, Transistor, Bastion) - (EARLY ACCESS) Hades II Earl Access is dropped on May 6th, 2024! Angel Matrix (Neon White) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Eric Barone (Stardew Valley) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Haunted Chocolatier, no release date has been set. Motion Twin (Dead Cells) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Windblown, isometric action game, early access in 2024. Aggro Crab (Going Under) - (GAME RELEASED) Another Crab's Treasure, released end of April 2024. Thunder Lotus Games (Spiritfarer, Sundered, Jotun) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) 33 Immortals, action roguelike, early access in 2024. Daniel Mullins Games (Inscryption) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Pony Island 2: Panda Circus. set to release in 2025. Drool (Thumper) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Thrasher, coming soon. Mega Crit Games (Slay the Spire) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Slay the Spire 2, coming 2025. Stoic Studio (The Banner Saga 1, 2, & 3) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) TowerBorne, scheduled for release in 2024. The Game Bakers (Furi, Haven) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Dodge Roll (Enter the Gungeon) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Coldwood Interactive (Unravel 1 & 2) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Simogo (Sayonara Wild Hearts) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Lorelai and the Laser Eyes, releasing mid-May 2024. AurumDust (Ash of Gods: Redemption) - (GAME RELEASED) Ash of Gods: The Way, released April 2023. Developers With an 8.0+ Rated Game By Me Hopoo Games (Risk of Rain 1 & 2) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Modern Storyteller (The Forgotten City) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Mimimi Games (Shadow Tactics, Desperados III) - (GAME RELEASED) Shadow Gambit: The Cursed Crew released in 2023. Studio closed post-release. Toby Fox (Undertale) - (EARLY ACCESS?) Deltarune, chapters 1 & 2 are out. Chapters 3 & 4 TBA. Roll7 (Rollerdrome) - (TEASER) Developer suggests next game will be its "magnum opus". Sabotage Studio (The Messenger) - (GAME RELEASED) Sea of Stars, released in August 2023. Drinkbox Studios (Guacamelee 1 & 2, Nobody Saves the World) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Terry Cavanagh (Dicey Dungeons) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Lucas Pope (Return of the Obra Dinn) - (GAME RELEASED) Mars after Midnight, released in March 2024. Contingent99 (Wizard of Legend) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Night School Studio (Oxenfree, Afterparty) - (GAME RELEASED) Oxenfree II: Lost Signals, released June 2023. Dead Mage (Children of Morta) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Tale of Ronin, coming soon, no release date has been set. Thomas Happ Games (Axiom Verge 1 & 2) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Developers With an 7.0+ Rated Game By Me Le Studio des Ténèbres (Frost) - (TEASER) Suggests a narrative tactical basketball game is being worked on. Maschinen-Mensch (Curious Expedition 2) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Team Cherry (Hollow Knight) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Hollow Knight: Silksong, surely coming by 2036. Radical Fish Games (CrossCode) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Project Terra, no release date has been set. Klei Entertainment (Mark of the Ninja, Invisible Inc.) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Rotwood, coming soon. Jump Over The Age (Citizen Sleeper) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Citizen Sleeper 2, no release date has been set. Kaizen Game Works (Paradise Killer) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Promise Mascot Agency, coming out 2025. LEAP Game Studio (Tunche) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) DigixArt (Road 96) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Gears for Breakfast (A Hat in Time) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Monomi Park (Slime Rancher) - (GAME RELEASED) Slime Rancher 2, coming to PS5 in June 2024. Bithell Games (Thomas Was Alone, John Wick Hex, The Solitaire Conspiracy) - (GAME RELEASED) Tron: Identity released in 2023. Adamgryu (A Short Hike) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Acid Nerve (Titan Souls, Death's Door) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Villa Gorilla (Yoku's Island Express) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Witch Beam (Unpacking) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) Lazy Bear Games (Graveyard Keeper) - (GAME RELEASED) Bandle Tale: A League of Legends, released February 2024. WOW! There you have it everybody. This was quite an educational endeavor for me. In terms of the top-tier devs, I'm happy to see Supergiant Games is well on their way to dropping another banger. I personally do not touch Early Access but I'm looking forward to inevitably having another incredible game to play in a few years from them. I'll honestly play everything announced in the 9.0-tier. Even if the games aren't available for PS5 (as is the case for TowerBorne and Lorelai at the moment), I'll undoubtedly check out how they're doing on YouTube via a Let's Play. In the 8.0 range, I get how it's still too soon to ask anything out of Modern Storyteller but damn if I wouldn't be lying if I said I'd love to know what that wonderful Australian man is cooking up next. Shadow Gambit will be waiting for me when I'm ready to get a tactics fix. I gotta try that Oxenfree II man... can't believe it totally slipped under my radar. Finally, in the 7.0 range, I think that basketball game is likely dead. The twitter account hasn't even liked a tweet since June 2023 sadly. I had no idea that the CrossCode dudes or Paradise Killer dudes had games announced. Promise Mascot Agency literally had their announcement trailer dropped a week ago. I'll definitely play the hell outta Slime Rancher 2 and damn... shoutout to the Graveyard Keeper developers. I've gotta check out Punch Club 2 when I have a moment. This post will serve as a helpful aid down the line whenever I wanna quickly checkout what has been up with a dev that's gone silent for a while. Until next time! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesey46 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 (edited) 2 hours ago, realm722 said: Team Cherry (Hollow Knight) - (GAME ANNOUNCED) Hollow Knight: Silksong, surely coming by 2036. . Edited May 8 by jonesey46 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelixNebula_x Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 (edited) Hype for Hades II is unreal. I haven't even finished the first one yet, but the gameplay for the second is looking as good as you could expect. Supergiant just don't miss, every single game they put out is a certified banger. I also have Going Under in my backlog, but I didn't realise it was those guys who made Another Crab's Treasure. I've had my eye on that and the reviews seem promising. 4 hours ago, realm722 said: DigixArt (Road 96) - (NO INFO ON NEXT GAME) I'm not 100% sure, but I could have sworn there was another Road 96 that came out as some point. I'm sure I saw it on a sale or something. EDIT - Looks like it's a prequel from what I can find, Road 96: Mile 0. It's got no plat, so it could be useful as I know you like to mix one of those in where you can! Edited May 8 by HelixNebula_x 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonesey46 Posted May 8 Share Posted May 8 1 minute ago, HelixNebula_x said: I'm not 100% sure, but I could have sworn there was another Road 96 that came out as some point. I'm sure I saw it on a sale or something. Yeah, there was, Road 96: Mile 0. 4 hours ago, realm722 said: Roll7 (Rollerdrome) - (TEASER) Developer suggests next game will be its "magnum opus". I'm not sure if its strictly official yet, but there are reports of Roll7 being shut down. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted May 10 Author Share Posted May 10 On 5/8/2024 at 5:33 AM, HelixNebula_x said: I also have Going Under in my backlog, but I didn't realise it was those guys who made Another Crab's Treasure. I've had my eye on that and the reviews seem promising. Neither did I before doing this little research project! I personally enjoy listening to the "Friends Per Second" podcast while doing house chores and one of the hosts, Lucy James, talked about it in the latest episode and said so many things that reminded me of Going Under (great game feel, good humor) that I just know I'm going to check it out eventually. On 5/8/2024 at 5:33 AM, HelixNebula_x said: EDIT - Looks like it's a prequel from what I can find, Road 96: Mile 0. It's got no plat, so it could be useful as I know you like to mix one of those in where you can! Ayyy, thank you for this. I do indeed remember it coming out. I enjoyed discovering Road 96 but not sure enough to the point where I'd be down for what equals a mega-DLC at this point. I was a bit torn on deciding what truly qualifies as a new game. For example, the Hopoo Games developers technically released: "Risk of Rain Returns" in Nov. 2023 which is basically an enhanced version of their original game. Is it a new game? Kinda, sorta? But it's not enough of a departure or a proper 3rd game in the series that I didn't include it on the list. On 5/8/2024 at 5:39 AM, jonesey46 said: I'm not sure if its strictly official yet, but there are reports of Roll7 being shut down. Welp, you are unfortunately correct. This news dropped just over a week ago. That freaking SUCKS. Between that and the shutdown of studios like Tango Gameworks by Xbox... I don't blame any small dev for refusing to be scooped up by a mega-publisher. I understand the financial freedom allowed in the short-term but you're at the mercy of executives and I think I'd preferred to be drawn and quartered if given the option. Welp, guess I really now gotta play OlliOlli. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breakingthegreen Posted May 10 Share Posted May 10 11 minutes ago, realm722 said: Ayyy, thank you for this. I do indeed remember it coming out. I enjoyed discovering Road 96 but not sure enough to the point where I'd be down for what equals a mega-DLC at this point. I wouldn't call it a DLC when it's a different genre. Mile 0 doesn't have rogue-like elements, instead it's main attraction is the rhythm levels which play a bit like Sayonara Wild Hearts. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realm722 Posted May 11 Author Share Posted May 11 12 hours ago, Breakingthegreen said: I wouldn't call it a DLC when it's a different genre. Mile 0 doesn't have rogue-like elements, instead it's main attraction is the rhythm levels which play a bit like Sayonara Wild Hearts. Damn. Not gonna lie, didn't know it was that involved. A little mini-rhythm game actually sounds like it could be a fun time. Thanks for the heads up! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now