RealM722's Trophy Cabinet

Super_Mep · December 16, 2023

I feel exactly the same way about Toem. It was cute and all and I'm not upset I played it but there's definitely better games out there. Thankfully as you mentioned it's only like 3-4 hours for 💯 so at least it doesn't drag on forever haha

Platinum_Vice · December 16, 2023

Wow you were really close with a lot of those scores!!

I agree: such a shame about Redfall. I thought that the criticisms of Deathloop would result in a bounce back to universal praise, but it turns out that it was a Redflag all along. :eyebrow: [came up with that pun literally halfway through that sentence]

serrated-banner9 · December 16, 2023

5 hours ago, realm722 said:

How Accurate Were My Metacritic Predictions for the Biggest Games in 2023?

oh yeah i forgot we did this, but it's fun looking back at it but i am still at least slightly disappointed with my teenage brain at getting some of these ridiculously wrong (oh yes Zelda will be a 76 because nintendo always screws up lol, as if this was the 3DS and Wii U days). you know what let's look at my predictions and see why these were horribly wrong (or die of cringe beforehand. Who knows)

DISCLAIMER: Not played any of these games yet so can't say for personal experience

Hogwarts Legacy

61 because I dont have faith what's that supposed to mean? i guess i thought it would score low because i am not a potter fan i don't know really, should had predicted much higher

Atomic Heart

85 for some reason, i actually can't remember the reason for most of these games, in retrospect i probably should have predicted way lower

Wo Long

Ah yes my favourite indie game Wo Long Falle dynasty, it's like the there Wo long game but not really. joking aside, i mean 71 wasn't the end of the world it's still a fine score but i mean come on i should have expected more

Crime Boss: Rockay City

80, ok this was definatly a oh hey this looks cool i bet it will get great reviews sentiment, i like the idea of being a mafia boss but it seems that this game was quite bad

Jedi Suirviour

why did i put this at a 74? i guess because it's a ea game and ea can be pretty bad at times, but it seems like this game actually was good (marring the technical problems at the beginning)

Redfall

70 - No just No, i guess because op had put as a high score i don't really know, the less we talk about it the better

Tears of the kingdom

76 - ah yes nintendo will screw up, yeah like it was the days of the 3DS and Wii U fool. Seems like a great game, not a zelda fan though so won't comment on it

Final Fantsey 16

85 - Holy hell, i was pretty close. My thoughts when making this i'm pretty sure was that oh hey it's a FF game it's gonna review well. I'll take the win here fella.

StarField

79 - not far off but still lost because @realm722 happened to basically get it, not sure why i put this as a 79 maybe because big business is screwing off customers and tht the game won't be finsh day 1 so here's a 100gb patch or something i don't know

Spiderman 2

84 - not sure how i thought something mid 80's would be a GOTY contender but ok, honestly i'm pretty glad it scored a 90 it sounds like a fun game, insomniac definitely knows what they are doing

as for the delayed ones:

Sucicde Squad: 61 - if there's anything i learned from the past few years it's that everyone even the crtics hate live service games and i think this is a live service game so yeah it will probanly be a mid 60's to a low 70's in my opinion

Silksong: 91 - considering hollow knight was well recvived, it's likly that this will be even better then the orginal and be a GOTY contender.

Unlike Op and @Platinum_Vice i did a couple other because why not and the results are:

The Crew Motorfest: 67, if scores 75+/ have a green score i would be amazed - 76, ok higher then i was expecting, i think i scored it low because Ubisoft has a reputation for meh games

Test Drive Unlimited: Solar Crown: Got delayed so maybe next year

Ufc 24/fifa 24: 67 because ea - 75 ok i was close, i am pretty sure i put 67 because ea had lost the license so it would be a bad game because everyone realised that ea was having mircotransactions which would lose their appeal because they don't have the fifa license. Still with me? anyways pretty close

anyways a good mini event Op, even if some GOTY tier games like Pikmin 4 (one of the best games of the year IMO) wasn't included, can't wait for 2024!

realm722 · December 18, 2023

RealM722's Games Played in 2023 Year-In-Review

It's that time of year again folks... the end of it! This is the 5th Annual Edition of My Game Award Show and while it's a little bit disorienting to realize that I've officially done this for half a decade, it's also pretty cool to dig through the archives and see how my tastes and opinions have evolved through the years. We have 50 games eligible for the 25 illustrious awards this season and I've decided to add 5 nominees for each category so even more games can get some shine even if they can't quite bring home the silverware. Without any further ado, here are the games available for My 2023 Awards!

Games Played in 2023 Ranked:

#1. Neon White (9.63 rating)

#2. Inscryption (9.15 rating)

#3. Nobody Saves the World (8.48 rating)

#4. Dicey Dungeons (8.38 rating)

#5. Return of the Obra Dinn (8.33 rating)

#6. Forager (8.00 rating)

#7. Frost (7.93 rating)

#8. Curious Expedition 2 (7.93 rating)

#9. Invisible Inc. (7.85 rating)

#10. Citizen Sleeper (7.85 rating)

#11. Tunche (7.83 rating)

#12. The Deadly Tower of Monsters (7.78 rating)

#13. Planet Coaster (7.78 rating)

#14. Moon Remix RPG (7.70 rating)

#15. John Wick Hex (7.58 rating)

#16. Death's Door (7.55 rating)

#17. This War of Mine: The Little Ones (7.50 rating)

#18. Pixel Gladiator (7.44 rating)

#19. FAR: Lone Sails (7.33 rating)

#20. Hypnospace Outlaw (7.33 rating)

#21. Lone Survivor (7.24 rating)

#22. Lair of the Clockwork God (7.22 rating)

#23. Inside (7.17 rating)

#24. Signs of the Sojourner (7.11 rating)

#25. Cris Tales (7.10 rating)

#26. Mulaka (6.88 rating)

#27. Dogurai (6.88 rating)

#28. Dandara (6.80 rating)

#29. Ruiner (6.73 rating)

#30. Titan Souls (6.65 rating)

#31. Momodora: Reverie Under the Moonlight (6.57 rating)

#32. Towaga: Among the Shadows (6.51 rating)

#33. ICEY (6.47 rating)

#34. Yaga (6.44 rating)

#35. Tangle Tower (6.42 rating)

#36. Last Day of June (6.37 rating)

#37. Endling (6.34 rating)

#38. Agent A: A Puzzle in Disguise (6.33 rating)

#39. Drawngeon: Dungeons of Ink & Paper (6.27 rating)

#40. Simulacra (6.22 rating)

#41. Axiom Verge 2 (6.22 rating)

#42. Carto (6.20 rating)

#43. Toem (6.20 rating)

#44. The Fall (6.06 rating)

#45. Aztech: Forgotten Gods (5.73 rating)

#46. Where the Water Tastes Like Wine (5.67 rating)

#47. Neverlast (5.50 rating)

#48. Stick it to the Man! (5.40 rating)

#49. Minute of Islands (5.21 rating)

#50. Never Alone (4.91 rating)

WOW! Look at all those games! I'm going to be perfectly honest, for whatever reason, I felt like this year paled in comparison to the last few years in terms of games I properly loved. Looking at the final full list, I think this is an accurate statement. Last year, 10 of 52 games scored an 8.0 rating or above. In 2021, 12 of 57 games scored above an 8.0 rating. So to only see 6 titles, one of which in Forager has only aged less favorably in my eyes as time has gone on, it's a pretty damning indictment for the overall quality of the games this year. What's the lesson for 2024? I need to play more games I think are going to be great. I think I fell into the habit of being just a tad bit too experimental chasing playing games from different countries or just taking blind shots in the dark at games with pretty art. I've gotten pretty damn decent at looking at a game and saying "I think I'm going to really enjoy this" and being accurate in my predictions. "Play more good games". Wow. What a lesson RealM722. Let's get on with the individual awards!

Easiest Game Hardest Game Grind of the Year

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Nominations

Easiest Game: (Agent A, Carto, ICEY, Neverlast, Toem)

Hardest Game: (Frost, Invisible Inc., John Wick Hex, Neon White, Planet Coaster)

Grind of the Year: (Curious Expedition 2, Forager, Invisible Inc., Planet Coaster, Yaga)

Analysis: Starting off with the easiest game of the year, I've gotta pat myself on the back and say that I really didn't have a super extensive list to choose from. Only 5 of the platinums I earned this year were over 40% rarity but I ultimately decided to give the grand prize to Toem for its totally chill nature and fitting with the theme of a leisurely adventure. As for Hardest Game, I thought long and hard about this. There are two games in the nominees, Invisible Inc. and John Wick Hex, that took an EXTENSIVE amount of attempts and retries. They were difficult... but they also weren't reflex-based. Both games take place on a grid. What's harder, beating somebody at chess or nailing a 3pt shot in basketball? They're each difficult in different ways. Ultimately, I think what swayed me in awarding Neon White was one simple reality. For two trophies, I needed to be perfect, without dying a single time, for well over an hour of play time. There was no reloading. There was no infinite retry with a Cloud save loophole in case I goofed up. I simply needed to get good. Hence, Neon White takes the first of what should be a very big evening for them in terms of hardware! Finally, for Grind of the Year, I had several options. While Yaga may not have taken nearly as long as the others, the game sure as hell did slog on with having to repeat the DLC and it glitching on me. Curious Expedition 2 was a labor of love and due to so much discovery I had while playing it, while the ending for 100k legacy did drag a bit, I never hated it. The more I thought about which grind I'd hate to repeat, Forager came away as the clear winner. I devoured that game. But in the end, I felt kinda gross. It's not fun playing a game you have to leave your PS5 running overnight to grind materials in furnaces infinitely. The game also punished me by having 2 glitched trophies which will never get patched. I have zero interest to ever play the game again and if I could re-rank its rating, I'd push it down to the mid-7.0's.

Biggest Surprise Biggest Bust "I Just Didn't Get It"

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Nominations

Biggest Surprise: (FAR: Lone Sails, Frost, John Wick Hex, Pixel Gladiator, The Deadly Tower of Monsters)

Biggest Bust: (Aztech: Forgotten Gods, Cris Tales, Minute of Islands, Never Alone, Where the Water Tastes Like Wine)

"I Just Didn't Get It": (Axiom Verge 2, ICEY, Minute of Islands, Stick it to the Man!, Toem)

Analysis: While this year may have lacked as many higher-echelon titles as I would have liked, I will say that the middle class was bulkier than I'm used to it being! This is in large part due to the fact there were so many pleasant surprises I played this year. Briste and Cassy got me on the FAR: Lone Sails bandwagon and I will eventually also play the sequel as they have. John Wick Hex was surprisingly a ton of fun for a game I thought would be an ultra-rare platinum hair-pulling endeavor. Pixel Gladiator was a fun romp of a 100% completion tower defense game. The Deadly Tower of Monsters is an odd mix of a lot of genres that I just found refreshing and enjoyable. But the hands-down winner is Frost. The fact I still reflect on this game with fondness despite corrupting all of my save data and needing to unlock all the scenarios and cards again is a testament to its wall-to-wall sound game design. Cassy doesn't miss. On the other hand, I had my fair share of disappointments as well. Aztech had a wonderful movement system that fumbled it with bad game direction, too many junior crew cutscenes, and bad combat. The other games listed failed to grasp me as much as I would have hoped. But by far the biggest failure in terms of meeting expectations was WTWTLW. Sheesh. A game all about sharing stories in a long-gone version of the United States and they just decided to punt on yanno... what makes a video game a video game. Maybe people who REALLY enjoy visual novels could appreciate some of the storytelling but once you get enough 2-3 stories to resolve the same emotions people fell over and over again I think most players are going to just race to the finish line. Such a shame. Finally, for the "I Just Didn't Get It" award aka not a game I thought was terrible but just didn't land with me... how the hell is ICEY getting a 9/10 rating on Steam with 23k+ reviews? Did I miss something? 2016 wasn't the far gone Indie era of 2009 where I could forgive simpler games being praised so much. It has a meta-narrative and some basic, passable combo gameplay. But when your super highly praised meta-narrative feels like a rehash of a lot of the jokes I heard in The Stanely Parable and the voice acting isn't even delivering? Call it a swing and a miss.

Most Innovative Bang for Buck Lost Potential

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Nominations

Most Innovative: (Hypnospace Outlaw, Moon Remix RPG, Return of the Obra Dinn, Signs of the Sojourner, Simulacra)

Bang for Buck: (Death's Door, Dogurai, Frost, Pixel Gladiator, Planet Coaster)

Lost Potential: (Aztech: Forgotten Gods, Cris Tales, Never Alone, Tunche, Where the Water Tastes Like Wine)

Analysis: "Most Innovative" is such a subjective award. I have no doubt there are other games out there in the obscure crevices of the internet that do have you play as somebody managing a web browser. There have been RPGs less about killing and more about friendship. There are hella card games. But when I think of a game that just hits different compared to any other I've played, Hypnospace Outlaw takes the cake. I know the game is not going to be for everybody but damn if it didn't put a nice bow on the end of my 2023 gaming catalog. I still have "CHOOOOOOOOOWDER MAAAAAAAAN" blasting in my eardrums. As for the best value I got for my money, I've gotta say, PS+ was a bit of a disappointment. In past years, I've had the latest FIFA and bloody Final Fantasy 7 Remake itself annihilate this category. No truly beloved game was obtained for free this year. Death's Door was a good game. Dogurai/Frost/Pixel Gladiator I all scooped up for filthy cheap and enjoyed. But the winner has gotta be Planet Coaster. A fun 30+ hours of messing around in a park and checking off objectives while listening to podcasts and being able to enjoy other media while enjoying the game? That's pretty good for free! (not really free cuz you literally pay for the PS+ subscription but you know what I mean). Finally, we get to a slightly heartbreaking category in the game that I felt left the greatest amount of potential on the table. The more I look back at Aztech, the more fondly I remember it despite KNOWING all the issues the game had. You did SO well making that movement system. You could have done so much more! Tunche was a fun game that with some refinement and slightly more variety could have cracked the 8.0 sphere. WTWLW could have been gone if they found a way to incorporate, yanno, some gameplay aside from walking. But I think my final answer has gotta be Cris Tales. It hurts. I love my Colombians. But when I think of a game that makes me say: "why do I feel like I lacked a great RPG like I have in most other years" it's because Cris Tales with its turn-based gameplay and slower nature failed to live up the billing of my hopes. The characters have lost themselves in my memory and haven't had a shred of the staying power of the Scooby Doo gang from Persona 5 or the wonderfully eclectic mix of Dragon Quest Xi. I know how cruel it is to pit an indie South American dev team against two titan Japanese corporations but even characters from Undertale and Moon Remix RPG lasted longer with me.

Best Trophy Icon Worst Trophy List Best Trophy List

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Nominations

Best Trophy Icon: (Agent A, Dandara, Nobody Saves the World, Simulacra, Tunche)

Worst Trophy List: (Forager, Invisible Inc., Lone Survivor, Planet Coaster, This War of Mine: The Little Ones)

Best Trophy List: (Dicey Dungeons, Frost, Inscryption, Neon White, John Wick Hex)

Analysis: I'm a simple man. If you want to appear in the "Best Platinum Icon" award at My Game Awards, you need to put one of my favorite characters in the game as the winning icon. All of the eligible nominees do this. I decided to give the award to Simulacra because the lady's pretty and I like the glitchy filter. I know, my tastes far surpass that of mere mortals. Switching gears to a far more contentious award, what was the least enjoyable trophy list I dealt with this year? Forager was grindy and glitched... but that feels like too much of a default, automatic response that I decided to think even more broadly. Invisible Inc. probably didn't NEED to make those endless trophies so long or require SO many playthroughs. Lone Survivor is quite finicky with all the endings. Planet Coaster could be a slog for the campaign. But I decided to think outside the box and go with This War of Mine. While the game was enjoyable and I still agree with my initial rating, I don't think any game has asked me to do as many awful things for trophies lmao. All I get is flashes in my mind of trying to get the "Back from the Brink" trophy and getting my poor Marko to go stab an elderly couple to death while also killing a girl's caretaker so I can also bring her back from a deep depression in order to get a hit of that sweet digital achievement narcotic. I think it's a fitting, if eccentric take on what the embodiment of the award's significance means. Finally, for best trophy list, what popped into my mind immediately was all the best games I played this year... but then I thought a little bit harder. John Wick Hex was a super fun time. The "Baba Yaga" requirements aren't NEARLY as demanding as they initially appear. The game is remarkably forgiving and it tapped into my sensibilities of trying a task over and over again until I got things just right despite the randomness of where the game's enemies will spawn. I'd like to see more people play it to figure out if my opinion is really on the fringes or a bit more common than I'd expect it to be.

Best Man Best Woman Best Animal

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Nominations

Best Man: (Chowder Man from Hypnospace Outlaw, Derek from Invisible Inc., Lem from Citizen Sleeper, Leshy from Inscryption, Tomas from Signs of the Sojourner)

Best Woman: (Archive Prisim from Invisible Inc., Empress of Time from Cris Tales, Nayra from Tunche, Red from Neon White, Helpful Witch from Yaga)

Best Animal: (Cat from Momodora, Huntings Dogs from Curious Expedition 2, Fox in Never Alone, Mama Fox in Endlings, Yoshida from Moon Remix RPG)

Analysis: These 3 categories are available to a wide berth of interpretations. In 2021, it went to Cloud Strife, a player I played as and who's story and personality I loved to see unfold. In 2022, it went to Galerius, an NPC who is so amazingly helpful in the player's completion of the game that he was a hands-down favorite for Best Boy. In 2023, I struggled to honestly come up with a lot of good NPC/character connections in games. Again, this is where playing a lack of great RPGs with a fun-loving cast hurts. Chowder Man is incredible. Lem from Citizen Sleeper is one hell of a dude. Leshy is one hell of a dungeon master. But ultimately, I decided to go with a character that while demonstrating no meaningful personality due to the game not offering any, made a world of a difference for me because of his gameplay UTILITY. Derek, with his cheating ass teleporter, got me out of so many jams and levels when I was first finding my footing with the game that even as I graduated away from him in the latter half of my time with Invisible Inc., deserves to be immortalized for being a clutch character in my all-time rarest platinum. Best Woman saw a similar story. I sure do love me some ~~dominant mother figures~~ but Nayra from Tunche is the easy winner. Super fun fast melee-focused combat in a game centered all-around beating the hell out of jungle frogs. Finally, the more years I do this, the stupider the "Best Animal" award seems to be. Sometimes I just pick a fan favorite animal in a game who's a sidekick. Sometimes you play the game as an animal. Giving how eh I found Endling, I decided to give for a 3rd straight time the award to a character who was useful GAMEPLAY wise. That being those hunting dogs in Curious Expedition 2. Screw whiny humans with their annoying preferences and desire to "avoid desecrating sacred temples for local indigenous people" waa waaa can somebody get this loser a crib cuz he's being such a baby? You know who never judged me for robbing townsfolk of their sacrifices to their deities? Barry & Baxter, my trust German Shepherds. Their counterattack bite damage on green dice rolls were also HELLA OP.

Best Review Best Boss Best Extracurricular

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Nominations

Best Review: (Citizen Sleeper, Curious Expedition 2, Forager, Inscryption, Neon White)

Best Boss: (Green 2nd to Last Boss Fight Neon White, Green Final Boss Fight Neon White, Leshy Inscryption, Lord of Doors Death's Door, Final Gauntlet Ruiner

Best Extracurricular: (Curious Expedition 2, Invisible Inc., Moon Remix RPG, Neon White, Return of the Obra Dinn)

Analysis: Sometimes we like to get self-indulgent over on this trophy thread so yes, I do indeed have to an entire award dedicated to what game I thought helped motivate me to crate the best review. Citizen Sleeper was fun because it has textured dialogue and I went in compeltely blind. Curious Expedition 2 made me really feel like an explorer by being able to explain a largely unknown game to the vast majority of those who wander into my thread every now and then. Forgaer took a psychological detour on a past diner date and Inscryption was just fun to write about. Who am I kidding, it's Neon White. Because of course, it's Neon White. I literally have 2+ hours of footage of my efforts in obtaining the two hardest trophies in the game. I've watched those videos. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed watching back my old footage until doing so. As for the best bosses, I realized the majroity of the games I played... didn't have good bosses. I was literally scrapping the bottom of the barrel and had to include TWO fights against Green in Neon White. The final fight is absolutely bad ass and when your adrenaline is pumping during a long gauntlet run and that bastard shows up with all his lasers and homing skull attacks you can't help but feel your blood pumping. Finally, for best extracurricular, which also has a wide variety of interpretations from doing a bunch of YouTube lore research afterward or loving the game for another reason, Return of the Obra Dinn made me bust out a Pages document with several thousand words and logically work through the game's wonderful "who-dun-it" murder cases. It's the Paradise Killer of 2023 in that regard and that alone earns it the award without much needed debate!

Best World Best Dialogue Best Art Style

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Nominations

Best World: (Citizen Sleeper, Curious Expedition 2, FAR: Lone Sails, Inside, Inscryption)

Best Dialogue: (Citizen Sleeper, Hypnospace Outlaw, Lair of the Clockwork God, Moon Remix RPG, Tangle Tower)

Best Art Style: (Cris Tales, Curious Expedition 2, Inscryption, Tunche, Return of the Obra Dinn)

Analysis: As I did not play a super vast, Open World game this year such as Horizon Forbidden West OR Dragon Quest XI, my take for "Best World" was broadened to include games' who internal lore I would be fascinated to learn more about. This made the winner super easy. Inscryption apart from being a wonderfully designed card game has an absolutely delightful locked-room mini-puzzle game sequence that you can only experience freshly upon a blind playthrough. It's not too elaborate or lengthy, and yet it blows everything else I played this year out of the water. Hopefully in the next few years we have more game lovers play Daniel Mullins' masterpiece and get some iterations on the formula that continue to innovate in this field. As for the Best Dialogue, this one's a bit funny as all of my nominees aside from Tangle Tower don't actually have any voice acting. So I decided to pick the game with most entertaining character-to-character interactions which was far and away Citizen Sleeper. If you love reading while playing games and don't mind gameplay taking a backseat, I think this game can offer one hell of an experience given it absolutely dusts the majority of video game writing found in the mainstream. Finally, for Best Art Style, I'd argue that this is one of the most stacked category of nominees of any award on this list. Seriously. If somebody else decided any of those other 5 games were their winner, I would have zero complaint. I decided to give it to Curious Expedition 2 since the fascinating art is what made me pull the trigger on my purchase in the first place and led me to a sort of game I would have never dabbled in otherwise had it been uglier. Somebody give those artists a raise!

Best Soundtrack Best Gameplay Best Story

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Nominations

Best Soundtrack: (Hypnospace Outlaw, Inscryption, John Wick Hex, Neon White, Return of the Obra Dinn)

Best Gameplay: (Death's Door, FAR: Lone Sails, Frost, Inscryption, Neon White)

Best Story: (Citizen Sleeper, Inscryption, Lair of the Clockwork God, Moon Remix RPG, Return of the Obra Dinn)

Analysis: Another remarkably stacked category this year was favorite soundtrack. Hypnospace has the longest of any playlist here despite being the shortest game I played in terms of pure hours. Inscryption's Leshy Boss Fight theme still gives me chills. John Wick Hex has a handful of bangers. Return of the Obra Dinn Soldiers of the Sea is so melodically hypnotic I love it to this day. But the answer is Neon White. "AIM FOR THE HEAVENS" I literally have two of the songs downloaded on my iPhone to play them whenever I want some motivation for some energy when working out. No other game here can say that. As for best gameplay, again, while the other games I played listed there were fun, Neon White vs. those other games is the equivalent of hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby. No other games this year scratched that insatiable itch I never knew I had for going fast quite like Neon White. In case I haven't made it clear enough, you should REALLY play this game even if speedrunning doesn't sound like your forte. Finally, I want to wrap up the individual awards with one of the oddly weakest nominees of this entire collection. I think I played a shockingly few amount of good stories in 2023. Good stories in video games are already hard to come by. Last year, The Forgotten City swept the award with ease. This year? I really struggled with it. Citizen Sleeper could have taken it and it wouldn't have felt bad, yet the overarching narrative felt less memorable than the personal character relationships I developed. Inscryption is a bit funky and intriguing with the lore but I consider it more of a "vibes" game than letter to letter story. Lair of the Clockwork God was a fun, unique twist and would have sufficed in a weaker year in which I hadn't played the winner... Moon Remix RPG. A game about a boy who ends up in a fantasy RPG and tries to find love in the world while a marauding jerk disrupts the lives of all the townfolk in it. It's meta as heck. More people should play it.

Best Game of 2023

Nominations

Best Game: (Dicey Dungeons, Inscryption, Neon White, Nobody Saves the World, Return of the Obra Dinn)

Analysis: Was there any doubt? Inscryption was the only other game this year that really even put up a fight but in essence, Neon White 4-0 sweeped everybody and then Inscryption showed up to the title fight and lost 4-1. Better luck with Pony Island 2, Daniel Mullins. Neon White is one of the best video games I have ever played. It is one of the best video games of All-Time. I am not someone who loves speedrunning. Neon White is a game all about speedrunning and gently nudging the player into loving it. I cannot believe it worked. I cannot believe that this game made me love it so much that I played through all 96 levels tens of times and had to complete a full no-death gauntlet run with zero save states multiple times and when I died I wasn't even upset but just rearing to get back out there and try again. I really don't feel like I need to clarify this or mitigate any of what I'm saying. I think other people who have trophy checklists would do well to give this game a damn shot. It's crazy to me how I haven't seen it pop up more frequently in discussions like some of the other games I've hammered on the table for. YES, the dialogue is a bit dire and if you hate cringe anime, you're probably going to want to have your thumb pressed down on the "skip cutscenes" button but when the hits are this addicting as the gameplay loop is in Neon White... all the side effects are worth it.

So there you have it everybody. My 2023 Game Awards. You know, having done these, I'm starting to realize why Cassy doesn't do them because some years you absolutely can have a game that sweeps or wins far too many categorizes. Neon White was nominated 9 times and won 6 awards. Yet there's a game like Inscryption that was nominated 10 times and only took home 1 award. One thing that was jarring to me when I looked at the full scale of the list was realizing that my 3rd & 4th highest-rated games of the year, Nobody Saves the World and Dicey Dungeons were only nominated for TWO AWARDS combined aside from GOTY. That's insanity. I guess that's indicative of a game being more than the sum of its parts? I really like both those games and yet I couldn't justify even tossing them into many of the nominee sections for most categories. This isn't unprecedented either. Last year, two damn good 8/10 games for me in Rollerdrome and Desperados III were both shutout from winning any awards. I wonder if this is just the reality of an award show format where if a game is just really solid across the board, it fails to stand out and can fail to take any singularly focused category.

That's all from me folks! This year was a fun year overall and I feel like I continue to sharpen my voice critically and really hone in on what makes a game tick in terms of my personal enjoyment. Hopefully, I learn my lesson and put into practice what I stated in the outset of this review and play more games I think would be enjoyable than getting a bit too experimental, even for me. It's going to be a peaceful wind down to 2023 for me. The Dolphins are 10-4 and are in the driver's seat for their first divisional title since 2008. Of course, they could squander this given Buffalo is 8-6 with two baby teams in the schedule while we have two 10-win teams on the docket but I'm oddly confident despite all the injuries to our roster and December not typically being our favorite time of year. I'm kind of tempted to go off-topic and make an entire post dedicated to my awards for the top movies I've seen this year... that could be fun. I'm rambling at this point. Have a safe end to the year everybody and hope to see you all around for 2024! @Cassylvania , @YaManSmevz, @serrated-banner9, @Platinum_Vice, @DrBloodmoney, @Grotz99, @slicknick3822, @Breakingthegreen, @Together_Comic, @Briste, @pelagia14, @PlutoRico, @Mori, @Copanele, @Aceterix, @Super_Mep (if you're wondering why you were @'d, you were somebody who commented on this thread during the 2023 calendar year, for and for that, I thank you )

Spoiler

Most Nominations
Neon White: 6/9
Curious Expedition: 2/6
Inscryption: 1/10
Return of the Obra Dinn: 1/6
Invisible Inc.: 1/6
Frost: 1/5
Citizen Sleeper: 1/5
Moon Remix RPG: 1/5
Joh Wick Hex: 1/4
Planet Coaster: 1/4
Hypnospace Outlaw: 1/4
Tunche: 1/4
Cris Tales: 1/4
Forager: 1/3
Simulacra: 1/2
Toem: 1/2
ICEY: 1/2
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine: 1/2
This War of Mine: 1/1
FAR: Lone Sails: 0/3
Death’s Door: 0/3
Never Alone: 0/3
Nobody Saves the World: 0/2
Dicey Dungeons: 0/2
Signs of the Sojourner: 0/2
Lair of the Clockwork God: 0/2
Pixel Gladiator: 0/2
Yaga: 0/2
Aztech: Forgotten Gods: 0/2
Agent A: 0/2
Minute of Islands: 0/2
The Deadly Tower of Monsters: 0/1
Lone Survivor: 0/1
Momodora: 0/1
Ruiner: 0/1
Inside: 0/1
Dogurai: 0/1
Dandara: 0/1
Axiom Verge 2: 0/1
Carto: 0/1
Stick it to the Man!: 0/1
Neverlast: 0/1

pelagia14 · December 18, 2023

Small ramble about the "I Just Didn't Get It" Award Winner -

I hadn't heard of ICEY before, but boy howdy did this part of the game summary on its Steam page just completely turn me off:

Quote

ICEY is a Meta game in disguise. The narrator will constantly urge you in one direction, but you must ask, "Why? Why am I following his directions? Why can't I learn the truth about this world and ICEY's purpose here?" Fight against his tyranny, and uncover what's really going on for yourself!

I get that it's trying to be meta and quirky - and other parts of the game summary do that. But wow, way to remove any vague sense of uncertainty or suspense about the story's narrative. Feels very patronizing in a "developers think you're too stupid to realize the meta aspects if they don't tell you" manner, versus how games like Stanely Parable are confident enough in themselves to be meta and trust that we'll pick up on it.

Most Innovative:

I meant to reply to your review of Hypnospace Outlaw a few days ago, but life has been hectic. And then you go on to bestow it with this award! You've definitely sold me on this game, even though I skimmed past a lot of your "Favorite Pages" section for until after I've played the game. Honestly, even the 'warning' about us as the player essentially turning into a data archivist has me intrigued by how wacky and different this game is. (Plus, whenever I get around to it, I'm kind of excited to see which references I'll spot - Geocities? AIM? They've *gotta* include an homage to the Space Jam website. So many possibilities!)

Best Boss & Soundtrack & Gameplay:
Hmmmmm. Perhaps Neon White will go on my list of games to enjoy without trying to Platinum. Everyone who has played it is always lauding the game, and your recommendation to play it even if speedrunning doesn't sound like one's forte is starting to convince me...

Overall:

I'd probably have a much longer comment if I had played more of the same games as you this year. A good number of them are in my backlog though, so it just makes me more excited for when I get around to them. (By the way, I just completed Banner Saga 1 and had a blast with it! Though I was super tempted to just move straight on to BS2. 😂) I was also glad to see Inscryption win something in your Award list, despite Neon White being such a heavy hitter.

I look forward to seeing the games that you play next year! The "you think you'll like them" ones, the experimental ones - anything and everything! Finally, I think it's awesome that you've realized that you are potentially placing too much emphasis on trying experimental games/games to check countries off the globe/etc. Personally, this year I focused a ton on the "20 hours or less to platinum" games from my backlog, allowing longer games to take up a much larger proportion of the backlog. Sometimes balance is hard to find, but we can't get closer to reaching it without awareness.

Platinum_Vice · December 18, 2023

5 hours ago, realm722 said:

Best Game: (Dicey Dungeons, Inscryption, Neon White, Nobody Saves the World, Return of the Obra Dinn)

There was no doubt! I know how much you loved Neon White!!

Hey it's a shame that you weren't as happy with 2023's holistic experience versus 2022 and 2021's amount of great games. You still played some winners though!

I think I said this last year: some of your categories are some really good ideas. BEST ANIMAL WHAT yes that sounds great.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I definitely have Curious Expeditions 1 and 2 waiting for a good sale. They just have to wait in the queue behind The Banner Saga though.

See you in 2024!

YaManSmevz · December 19, 2023

Why the hell did I get the @ treatment from a checklist that I've loved and respected for two years running?? Bunch of BULLCRAP!!

Fantastic work, my G! Got me so intrigued to play Neon White now, as well as joining Doc and Vice in encouraging me to see what the fuss is about Inscryption (and Obra Dinn, for that matter)! I am bummed that I contributed to your "I Just Didn't Get It" category tho😂

EDIT: I forgot to add this, but yes to the movie list!! Do it do it do it!!

Edited December 19, 2023 by YaManSmevz

Copanele · December 19, 2023

I'll have to say, this year you really played some crazy unique games covering a game from every country sure unearthed some hidden gems ! (and ehm...Aztech Forgotten Gods. Still annoyed that that one sucks).

Congrats for a bountiful 2023! Neon White sure looks like a decent game now :lol:

14 hours ago, realm722 said:

Best Woman: (Archive Prisim from Invisible Inc., Empress of Time from Cris Tales, Nayra from Tunche, Red from Neon White, Helpful Witch from Yaga)

10/10 agreed, that moment when you accidentally add a badass character in your little chill game

realm722 · December 23, 2023

On 12/18/2023 at 3:26 PM, pelagia14 said:

I get that it's trying to be meta and quirky - and other parts of the game summary do that. But wow, way to remove any vague sense of uncertainty or suspense about the story's narrative. Feels very patronizing in a "developers think you're too stupid to realize the meta aspects if they don't tell you" manner, versus how games like Stanely Parable are confident enough in themselves to be meta and trust that we'll pick up on it.

Yea.... the game isn't very subtle in its one trick either. It's not a bad time, there's a reason I still scored it a 6/10, but it's funny how with time a game like Aztech has aged more favorably in my memory than ICEY.

On 12/18/2023 at 3:26 PM, pelagia14 said:

Best Boss & Soundtrack & Gameplay:
Hmmmmm. Perhaps Neon White will go on my list of games to enjoy without trying to Platinum. Everyone who has played it is always lauding the game, and your recommendation to play it even if speedrunning doesn't sound like one's forte is starting to convince me...

Until I see some people around here start playing Neon White it's the game I'm going to be insufferable about for the next year. It's that good. I promise you. Once you get a hit of that nicotine you're going to want to dabble of speedrunning. Heck, even if the "full game no death" run sounds like a nightmare, you can still get 80%+ of the trophies in a relatively stress-free manner.

On 12/18/2023 at 3:26 PM, pelagia14 said:

Overall:

I'd probably have a much longer comment if I had played more of the same games as you this year. A good number of them are in my backlog though, so it just makes me more excited for when I get around to them. (By the way, I just completed Banner Saga 1 and had a blast with it! Though I was super tempted to just move straight on to BS2. 😂) I was also glad to see Inscryption win something in your Award list, despite Neon White being such a heavy hitter.

Congratulations on the platinum! It is far from a walk in the park and to do so in less than a week is mighty impressive. The fact you had a blast with it is reassuring. I know I first got hooked on it from Cassy/Briste but to see it still have such an impact with new players nearly A DECADE after its original release(2014) is comforting! Also, I 100% wouldn't have allowed Inscryption to go award-less. Too great of a video game and one that has successfully been a huge hit with a lot of the checklists around here!

On 12/18/2023 at 5:55 PM, Platinum_Vice said:

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but I definitely have Curious Expeditions 1 and 2 waiting for a good sale. They just have to wait in the queue behind The Banner Saga though.

I have no doubt that one day I'm going to have a severe itch to check out Curious Expedition 1. The only thing I fear is the grind. Fastest platinum completion is 2 weeks and all the rest are over a month. But the curiosity of seeing how much they expanded upon the original will undoubtedly keep me entertained. I'm happy to see my Banner Saga praise seeds finally taking root in so many of y'all. Just uhh... don't forget that Shadow Tactics either. That's a Cassy GOTY!

On 12/19/2023 at 12:52 AM, YaManSmevz said:

Fantastic work, my G! Got me so intrigued to play Neon White now, as well as joining Doc and Vice in encouraging me to see what the fuss is about Inscryption (and Obra Dinn, for that matter)! I am bummed that I contributed to your "I Just Didn't Get It" category tho😂

I am 98% positive you're going to love both those games. Especially Obra Dinn. I honestly haven't met a person online who hasn't enjoyed it and lemme tell you, that is HARD to find nowadays. As for Stick It to The Man don't sweat it lmao. Honestly, in terms of games in that category this year, there were hardly any standouts that I truly felt guilty for not enjoying.

On 12/19/2023 at 2:43 AM, Copanele said:

I'll have to say, this year you really played some crazy unique games covering a game from every country sure unearthed some hidden gems ! (and ehm...Aztech Forgotten Gods. Still annoyed that that one sucks). Congrats for a bountiful 2023! Neon White sure looks like a decent game now 10/10 agreed, that moment when you accidentally add a badass character in your little chill game

It's funny. I was disappointed on Aztech when I reviewed it due to the wasted potential but as time goes on, I like it a lot more now. Probably because I've forgotten about all the overly long cutscenes and bad combat but the movement was fun. I KNOW you don't play platformers Copa but just uhh... look at some Neon White footage. Can a first-person perspective change your mind?

On 12/19/2023 at 12:52 AM, YaManSmevz said:

EDIT: I forgot to add this, but yes to the movie list!! Do it do it do it!!

Literally, all I needed was one person to give me the green light for some motivation. I just spent the last 20 minutes cackling at actually having to decide some brutal categories between the 200 movies I've seen this year. Should be a fun final post of the year and maybe it'll be a wonderful last hurrah before I reveal my absolutely psychotic movie opinions to you all.

Copanele · December 23, 2023

11 hours ago, realm722 said:

I KNOW you don't play platformers Copa but just uhh... look at some Neon White footage. Can a first-person perspective change your mind?

The fact that "I will finish Mirror's Edge this year, I swear guys" started to become a running gag kinda shows how good I am with the first person perspectives 😂

Game looks fun though so....a big fat MAYBE is all I have for now 😅

realm722 · December 23, 2023

RealM722's Movies Watched in 2023 Year-In-Review

BONJOUR MES AMIS! I have returned with a special non-video game treat! Apart from video games, I am quite a huge fan of movies. I know, shocking. There's hardly ever if any much crossover when it comes to those sorts of interests. In 2023, I have seen more movies this year than any year prior in my life. Typically, I like to set myself the goal of watching 10 or so movies a month. This averages out to 1 about every 3 days and over the course of a full 12 months gets me around 120 which is about what I have averaged from 2019 to 2022. In 2023 for whatever reason, I blew past that barrier and shot all the way up to 200. There are a few small caveats. For example, Movies #2 (5 to 7) and #23 (Before I Fall) are INELIGIBLE for this year's awards as these are movies I loved and REWATCHED this year. There are also a handful of seasons of television interspersed here and there but as I barely watch many series, I just toss them in with the movies and call it a day. Here are the rankings!

WOW! I am stunned that I found a pretty decent method to contain all 200 movies in a legible format that doesn't make this post unbearably long. I should quantify my rankings as I do with games. 9.0+ rated movies are the elite of the elite. These are movies that I watched and loved. When I finish watching the movie I am almost flabbergasted that something like that could even be created. I go digging for other opinions and research on the film. My reviews are typically 800+ words which is a lot for a movie. 8.0+ rated movies are fantastic films. I really enjoyed the, they may have a characteristic or two that I wasn't vibing with too much but on the whole I would recommend them to just about everyone. 7.0+ rated movies are arguably the most interesting to talk about. (I'll have a more elaborate post on how this applies to games as well in a latter post). Typically they have an "it" factor that I find appealing and yet have enough elements that prevented me from truly loving it. 6.0+ rated movies are... just alright. Usually, if you score a 6, I'm not going to be itching to rewatch the movie. It may have missed the mark with me. OR it may be something that I just thought was a passably good time and don't have a strong opinion on either way. 5.0-rated movies are ones that I found something to dislike. Thankfully, there are barely 10 of these this year as I was pretty great with selecting movies that I thought I would enjoy. Contrary to what I'll present myself as in this award show, I am not the God of All Movies. Hence, when you see the Super Mario Bros Movie rated higher than 2001: A Space Odyssey, I'm not really trying to argue that the former is superior to the latter. I will tell you that I enjoyed the former more. We'll get into why as the awards progress. Let's get on with them!

Most Watched Dir. Most Watched Act. Mesmerizing Woman

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Nominations

Most Watched Director: (Akira Kurosawa, Denis Villeneuve, Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, Yasujirō Ozu)

Most Watched Actor: (Al Pacino, James Caan, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Toshiro Mifune)

Mesmerizing Woman: (Andy Allo in Upload, Chel in Road to El Dorado, Kyōko Kishida in An Autumn Afternoon, Pam Grier in Jackie Brown, Sydney Tamiia Poitier in Death Proof)

Analysis: Allow me to explain those first two categories. Every year, I try to give myself the goal of becoming familiar with a type of cinema or era that I'm honestly not all that familiar with. It offers a fun element aside from just watching movies and allows me to round out the overall scope of my interests and tastes rather than just watching contemporary American directors from the last 30 years. I am happy to say that I have immersed myself in the waters of Akira Kurosawa's filmography and have come out refreshed on the other side. This dude is legit. I've seen 6 of his 30 movies this year. I'm saving a few special ones in the tank for the years to come. As for actors, for as tempted as I was to double-up on old Japanese cinema and give it to Toshiro Mifune, I've gotta say, I didn't realize that the most prolific Al Pacino performance I had watched prior to this year was THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE. Yea... all I knew was screaming overacting Pacino. Imagine my shock when I went back and watched the two original Godfathers, Scarface, & Heat this year. This man is one of the greatest living actors of our time. He's just held on to the point that rather than aging classily like... Anthony Hopkins, he went just a bit off the deep end in the late 90s and hasn't really bounced back with an elite, serious performance since. I'd probably lose my damn mind after not winning Best Actor for Michael Corleone too if I were him. Finally, we get to my favorite category of these entire awards. Every now and then you'll stumble upon a movie and scream out: "WHOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS SHE??????????????" as your eyes do an AWOOGA BOOGA motion and pop out of your skull. If 5 to 7 and Before I Fall were eligible, both Berenice Marlohe and Zoey Deutch would crack this list. Sadly, they're ineligible. So I went through the tape. Andy Allo in Upload is a freaking babe and when she dolls herself up in a dress towards the end of S2 for the first time all series I wanted to eat my fist. Chel from Road to El Dorado is a well-documented case of being most men's first realization that cartoons are freaking hot. I went back and watched it and couldn't believe my eyes. Kishida in An Autumn Afternoon is on screen for all of 5 minutes and her cheekbones make me want to kill myself. Sydney Poitier is a total babe in Death Proof. But the cake goes to another Tarantino film star. MAMA PAM GRIER. Gooooooddaaaaaaaaaaamn. She's good-looking that whole movie. But when she busted out that red dress? I was shook. I discovered from Google that searching "Pam Grier Red Dress" reveals even more elite performances in filmography from the 1970s in Blaxploitation films. Let's add those to the list for 2024!

Worst Movie Worst Actor Worst Actress

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Nominations

Worst Movie: (Brian's Song, Now You See Me 2, White Men Can't Jump 2023, Wonder Woman 1984)

Worst Actor: (Jack Harlow in White Men Can't Jump 2023, James Caan in Brian's Song, Joaquin Phoenix in The Master)

Worst Actress: (Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman 1984, Sofia Coppola in The Godfather Part III, Storm Reid in Missing)

Analysis: I don't like to dwell too much on the negativity so let's be quick through these. Brian's Song is a made-for-TV special and despite having star power such as James Caan and Billy Dee Williams it comes across as so amateur hour that I couldn't help but think the actors were on something during filming. Imagine my shock when a year later James Caan is out here acting his ASS off as Sonny Corleone in The Godfather. Now You See Me 2 is somehow stupider and worse than the original in every way and that is SAYING something. White Men Can't Jump was somehow as bad as the critics said it was. But only one film can take the cake. What the hell happened with Wonder Woman 1984? I was watching the movie on the side while playing Dogurai and all I could think to myself was laughing at how oddly atrocious the film was. YOU'RE JUST GONNA POSSESS THAT MAN DIANA? When freaking Kristen Wiig is out here saying "Can't let you do that Diana!" I had flashbacks to Starfox "CAN'T LET YOU DO THAT STARFOX". Pedro Pascal is overacting in a manner that is both hilarious but also makes me question how the hell he got cast for The Last of Us series. It's bad, but it's honestly so bad it's good and I still recommend watching it. Especially if you've traveled to Washington D.C. as I did this year the movie is amazing for remembering some of the sights visited. For Worst Actor, I'm sorry Jack Harlow. I honestly kinda liked your latest album that nobody listened to called Jackman as I was in a bit of an f-boy era but this acting performance was atrocious. The appeal of the original White Men Can't Jump was the charming dynamic between Woody Harrellson and Wesley Snipes. Harlow and the black dude in this movie have the charm of a wet paper bag. Finally, for Worst Actress, I still cannot get Sofia Coppola's bizarre performance in TG3 out of my head. Francis my guy.. what the hell were you thinking? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CAST YOUR OWN DAUGHTER WHO'S NOT AN ACTRESS IN A FILM WHERE THE CENTRAL PLOT TENSION IS THAT SHE'S IN AN INCESTUOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH ANDY GARCIA? HELLO????

Kept Thinking About "I Just Didn't Get It" Best Tension

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Nominations

Kept Thinking About: (Barry Lyndon, Children of Men, Draft Day, My Dinner with Andre, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

"I Just Didn't Get It": (2001: A Space Oydssey, Ikiru, Paris Texas, Persona, Rashomon)

Best Tension: (Hell or High Water, Inglourious Basterds, Leon: The Professional, Prisoners, Sicario)

Analysis: The "Kept Thinking About" Award is a special prize I give to movies that while I may not have LOVED, I couldn't help but find myself thinking about extensively afterward. Children of Men's concept alone is fascinating and Clive Owen puts in a worldie of a performance. Draft Day is a delightfully stupid sports drama that anybody who's an NFL fan should watch and enjoy given all of its ridiculousness. My Dinner with Andre is the bold attempt at making a movie all about conversation with an old friend at dinner. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a movie that helped me out of a depressive episode and I'm indebted to it for that fact. While it certainly would have been a worthy winner, Barry Lyndon is Kubrick cooking with gasoline. How the hell does that movie work? None of the actors are SUPER SUPER well known. It's a solid story, the idea of a man's rise and fall, but nothing revolutionary. Yet all the factors come together to make a film where every scene is a canvas and just bodies other historical films from the era out of the water. "I Just Didn't Get It" will be my most controversial award. Sometimes, I watch movies that are highly praised and don't understand why afterward. Ikiru stars Takashi Shimura and while I love Shimara and think he is the SUPERSTAR of Seven Samurai, in Ikiru... I just don't get the fascination. Same thing with Rashomon. Is Kurosawa an absolute baller? 100%. But I think of several of his other movies before Rashomon even pops up and yet people talk about it with this glowing aura that I can't quite connect with. Persona was a total swing-and-miss for me. Paris, Texas picked up towards the end but the slog to get there from the first half of the film was agonizing. Yet here's my boldest take yet. I found 2001: A Space Odyssey boring. Yea yea it has one of the greatest intros ever and transitions from the flying bone to the spaceship. Whatever. Why did it take me 20 minutes to get there with no dialogue? Why is the most enthralling part of the movie (everything to do with the HAL 900) barely even a 40 minutes of the full runtime? Everybody loves to jerk Kubrick off for making distinctly Kubrickian films and yet I think Lolita and Barry Lyndon blow 2001 out of the airlock. Sorry. Finally, for best tension, I had to give it to the movie that had me hold my breath and not even realize 15 minutes had evaporated due to being so glued to my laptop screen. If you're lucky, the best movies will have one of these sequences. Inglourious Basterds has like 3-4.

Best Animated Best International Best Dialogue

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Nominations

Best Animated: (Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, The Lego Movie, The Road to El Dorado)

Best International: (Autumn Sonata, Children of Men, High and Low, Seven Samurai, Triangle of Sadness)

Best Dialogue: (A Few Good Men, Death Proof, Inglourious Basterds, Jackie Brown, My Dinner with Andre)

Analysis: I watched a lot of great animated movies this year. Heck, I'm sure some will be offended by the fact that Fantastic Mr. Fox and The Iron Giant didn't even crack the Top 5 nominations. Those were good movies but the deck was completely stacked this season! We've got two Studio Ghibli's, one Spider-Verse, one hilarious Lego Movie, and DreamWorks production. Here are my takes. The kids are alright by making those Spider-Verse movies as popular as they have been. They're good movies. I'm glad the kids love them. I understand why some base their entire personalities around them because they really are that neat. The Lego Movie had absolutely no business being as good as it was. I laughed a bunch. Remarkably well done and as someone who avoided it when it got the hype way back when I was pleasantly surprised in every way. For as tempted as I was to give it to El Dorado based simply on Chel's hip movements, Howl's Moving Castle is the winner. The music. The plot. The animation. The characters. I'm here for all of it. For Best International Film (outside of the US), I was quite torn. High and Low is a fantastic police procedural drama that will have you on edge and is a fantastic switch-up from most of Kurosawa's lauded samurai films. Triangle of Sadness came out last year from Sweden and blew me away with how good it was. Here I thought it was a simple, tired film of critiquing the rich that rings hollow from a rich studio production and it does much more than that. But there can only be one. Seven Samurai is genuinely one of a kind. I know a 3-hour and 20-minute run time may scare off most viewers. It's worth it. Trust me. You will fall in love with this crew and watching Shimura cook as the savvy veteran leader to the rambunctious immature Mifune is a treat. Finally, for Best Dialogue, while I liked all those movies a bunch and I find it incredibly revealing that Tarantino has 3/5 of the nominations, Death Proof is his magnum opus. I'm going to avoid spoilers but here's the gist of it. I was watching Death Proof and Tarantino managed to make me care about a group of characters. Something, the multi-million productions will struggle to do over the course of a 2-hour film, he managed to get me to care in all of 30 minutes. Then, this dude, in his genius, manages to screw himself over, and here I am thinking: "how are you going to make me care about the 2nd half of the movie?" and this MF DOES IT AGAIN MAKING ME CARE ABOUT A GROUP OF CHARACTERS IN ANOTHER BRIEF 30 MINUTE BIT. HOW? That's how Death Proof steals this award.

Best Action Best Romance Best Comedy

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Nominations

Best Action: (John Wick: Chapter 2, John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum, Kill Bill: Volume 1, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Mechanic)

Best Romance: (500 Days of Summer, All I See Is You, A Star is Born, Licorice Pizza, Pretend That You Love Me)

Best Comedy: (Blazing Saddles, Idiocracy, Not Another Teen Movie, No Hard Feelings, Popstar: Never Stop Stopping)

Analysis: I imagine some people are going to want to stone me to death for not making Mad Max: Fury Road my favorite action movie. That movie is phenomenal. It has less than 5,000 words of spoken dialogue and 100% had those bits that just made you hold your breath as the battle car sequences took place. But... while I appreciated it, I myself didn't personally love it. I understood why others did. But it's not my lane. On the other hand, I saw John Wick 2 and thought to myself: "This film understood the assignment of building everything up after the original." Bigger budget, even more ostentatious, it's like the choreographers think: "what would be a badass place to have an awesome action sequence?" and then carry out. I can't wait to watch Chapter 4 at some point in the future. As for Best Romance, I love romantic movies even though my enjoyment of truly great ones is few and far between. I appreciate the non-linear storytelling of 500 Days. All I See Is You is wonderfully messed up after a slow start. Licorice Pizza is the first Paul Thomas Anderson movie I actually thoroughly enjoyed and Pretend That You Love Me is a YouTube movie that perfectly encaptured what all of my dreams are about. But holy crap... that A Star is Born? I remember when it got all that hype back in 2018. I thought people were overrating it because it's a Lady Gaga movie. Hell nah. Genuinely fantastic. Soul-wrenching. I love it when couples fight in movies and damn does it amplify that element wonderfully. Finally, for best comedy, talk about another stacked category. I saw Blazing Saddles for the first time and the humor has aged magnificently. Idiocracy is not a documentary but it is fun nonsense. Andy Samberg's Popstar has one sequence with Akon that had me in tears. No Hard Feelings is GREAT and Jennifer Lawrence pulled off a comedic role that I think shockingly few women in Hollywood would be able to pull off. But the winner, funnily enough, comes from this very thread. @YaManSmevz posted a gif from the movie and my curiosity piqued and I decided to check it out. Janie's Got A Gun made me spit my water out. Masterfully absurd. When Chris Evans' sister is seducing him and he goes: "BUT WE'RE RELATED" and she moans "BUT ONLY BY BLOOD" I had to pause for 5min and walk around because I couldn't stop laughing.

Best Music Best Scene Best Screenplay

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Nominations

Best Music: (Amadeus, Barry Lyndon, Howl's Moving Castle, Titanic, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Best Scene: (Coin Toss in No Country for Old Men, De niro v. Pacino in Heat, Hyman Roth in The Godfather Part II, I'm Not Leaving in The Wolf of Wall Street, Sinking Ship in Titanic)

Best Screenplay: (Children of Men, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Jackie Brown, Jurassic Park, Triangle of Sadness)

Analysis: I am a terrible judge of what makes for a good soundtrack. Thus, the selections here are admittedly pretty obvious and maybe lackluster. I picked movies that had songs that stood out in my memory and the winner of all of these was Barry Lyndon. The classical music sequence is so entrancing that I downloaded it on my phone and play it whenever I want to get into the zone with a certain task. A far more fun category is that of Best Scene. This was arguably the toughest category in the entire list. You have two titans of the gangster genre in de Niro and Pacino finally going head-to-head in Heat. I could have picked 7 different sequences in either of the first two Godfathers but that Hyman Roth rant while rocking his bare chest out still gets me all these months later. "I'M NOT LEAVING" has been gif'd to death on Twitter. I can watch the Titanic collapsing sequence once a week and never get bored. But there's only one winner. I legitimately have that entire Javier Bardem interaction memorized word-for-word and love to reenact it with my sister whenever I find a coin on the floor or in a cupholder in a car. It's the enunciation of certain words. The intensity with which he says: "It's been traveling 2 years to get here, and now it's HERE, and it's either heads or tails, and you have to say call it." It's a masterpiece slice of cinema. Finally, for Best Screenplay, I struggled between incredible concepts (a world where people can't give birth anymore, dinosaurs run amuck in a we-get-too-close-to-the-sun zoo, the wildness of everything in EEAAO) but I settled upon Jackie Brown for the simple fact it's always entertaining to see somebody play two sides at the same time. Will they get away with it? Won't they? It just felt right.

Best Animal Best Sup. Actor Best Sup. Actress

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Nominations

Best Animal: (Dog in John Wick 2, Jonesy in Alien, Pikachu in Detective Pikachu, Rat Willem Dafoe in Fantastic Mr. Fox, Velociraptors in Jurassic Park)

Best Supporting Actor: (Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, Julius Carrey in The Last Dragon, Ke Huy Quan in EEAO, Paul Bettany in M&C, Robert Forster in Jackie Brown)

Best Supporting Actress: (Debra Winger in An Officer and a Gentleman, Dolly de Leon in Triangle of Sadness, Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, Stephanie Hsu in EEAAO)

Analysis: We've now arrived at the stupidest category of the entire award show. Best Animal. I'll tell you why this is a stupid award. I really struggled with filling out 5 nominees in the first place. My nominations aren't even consistent. Some of these are real animals that can't talk such as John Wick's dog. Some of them CAN talk such as the rat showdown with Willem Dafoe against George Clooney's fox. So I decided to go right down the middle. While I don't like Ryan Reynolds, the idea of a talking Pikachu amuses me all these years later that I found him and his adorable dorky personality endearing in Detective Pikachu despite it not being all that great of a movie. Even more importantly, this two-step dancing sequence is tattooed in my memory. Best Supporting Actor was brutally difficult to decide on. If you've never heard of The Last Dragon, don't worry. Here is the introduction of his character Sho'nuff in the movie which is all you need to know why I love him. Ke Huy Quan deservedly won Best Sup. Actor last year at the Oscars since his mix of playing altering versions of himself is fantastic and he definitely earned it unlike Jamie Lee Curtis who I'm still puzzled as to why she was nominated. Paul Bettany crushes it as Russell Crowe's right-hand man in Master & Commander and never have I felt more seen and identified with in a character than Robert Forster in Jackie Brown. Here is a very typical, decent man who has his life transformed because a fine ass black woman wants him to help assist in the committing of some crimes. Both Forster and myself are FOLDING on all morals in that instance. It's Pam Grier, brother. You CAN'T say no. But as much as I wanted to reward him, the answer's Christoph Waltz. Nobody else could have played that character. For Best Supporting Actress, talk about another tough category. Debra Winger's hips in An Officer and a Gentleman and overall warmth will keep you cozy in these winter months. Meryl Streep as a monstrous executive to Anne Hathaway's innocence is timeless. But I decided to go in a different direction for the award. Never have I seen an actress just be invisible for the first solid hour and 30 minutes just to keep in at the end and steal the entire show like I have with Dolly de Leon in Triangle of Sadness. You're both rooting for her and can't help but think: "this is mad corrupt lmao".

Best Actress Best Actor Best Director

--- ---

Nominations

Best Actress: (Cate Blanchett in Tár, Emily Blunt in Sicario, Keira Knightley in Colette, Michelle Yeoh in EEAAO, Pam Grier in Jackie Brown)

Best Actor: (Al Pacino in Godfather, Casey Affleck in Manchester By the Sea, Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men, James Mason in Lolita, Takashi Shimura in Seven Samurai)

Best Director: (Francis Ford Coppola for The Godfather, Ethan & Joel Coen No Country for Old Men, Quentin Tarantino for Jackie Brown, Stephen Spielberg for Jurassic Park)

Analysis: Here we go. Now we're getting into the juicy awards. Best Actress was tough. Cate Blanchett crushed her role in Tár and it's a movie that while on the slower side is a fascinating character study. Emily Blunt is out of her depth in Sicario and you just want to see her continue to navigate her circumstances as well as possible. Keira Knightley in Colette brings back to the retro-England Knightley from her Pride & Prejudice days but spices it up by going both ways. Yeoh was great in EEAAO but man... it's no contest. Can y'all tell I love me some Pam Grier? I am rooting for this woman the entire movie. She is one of the greatest actresses ever to not even so much as receive an Academy Award NOMINATION. Here I am, rectifying the errors of Hollywood by bestowing upon her the 1st Annual RealM722 Best Actress Award. You're welcome, Pam. Switching gears to Best Actor, you've got Al Pacino who could honestly merit a reward for both performances in the first two Godfathers as some of the best acting ever witnessed grace film. While I acknowledge that Javier Bardem was nominated for SUPPORTING ACTOR at the real Academy Awards, I don't have to listen to that as my guide as I make my own rules here and his terrorizing performance as Anton Chigurh is sufficiently present in the film to receive the nomination. James Mason carries Lolita and his behavior is both mesmerizing as it is horrifying. But... after much consideration, I decided to go in a different direction. While all the nominees were worthy, Casey Affleck's subdued, battling-with-depression masterstroke of subtly in Manchester By the Sea still remains ever present in my memory. The movie's serious tones are evident and yet there's more comedy and laughter here than most comedies released today. If you don't believe me, give it a whirl on Amazon Prime and tell me if I'm wrong. Finally, for Best Director, I struggled greatly with what to decide. How do you distinguish between an amazing director performance and just an amazing movie you enjoyed in general? Then I thought some more about it. Francis Ford Coppola in his early 40s made The Godfather. THAT movie. Which is a banquet of excellence and an ensemble cast of characters from Marlon Brando to Al Pacino to James Caan that... there's simply no rival. How did he make that movie? How did things not implode on themselves beneath the weight of all that was required? There is no other worthy winner.

Best Movie of 2023

Nominations

Best Picture: (Everything Everywhere All At Once, Interstellar, Jackie Brown, Jurassic Park, Lolita, Manchester by the Sea, Master & Commander, No Country for Old Men, Seven Samurai, Titanic, The Godfather, The Wolf of Wall Street, Triangle of Sadness)

Analysis: There were a lot of movies I loved in 2023. But there's only one Godfather. I know it seems trite or predictable at this point. Oh hey, the movie you always see in the Top 5 of the greatest movies ever made is your #1 for this year? How cutting edge and insightful. But in case you're reading this and haven't seen The Godfather... just... do yourself a favor and go watch it. There's a reason people still talk about it as one of the greatest movies of All-Time 50 years later. I can't believe all the different personalities at play. The character development. The jarring violence that grabs at your throat out of nowhere. I understand that it's a "dude" movie and quite literally mocked in this year's highest-grossing film Barbie for being a film so beloved by dudes that they'll call over women who haven't seen it to explain the movie to them but guys... it's actually that good. I don't know how else to state it. I really loved Interstellar. I can't believe I didn't have it nominated for any categories before this one. I think Christopher Nolan is a master at his craft and can't wait to see Oppenheimer still. Yet for whatever reason, maybe the film bros anti-Nolan sentiment got to me and it had me reflecting back on it more negatively than I otherwise would have. If 5 to 7 were eligible, I probably would have given it to that over The Godfather for a whole 2,500+ word explanation that I don't dare delve into here. Jackie Brown is probably my #2 movie of the year. No Country for Old Men is my #3 and it's only that low because the violence that Chigurh realizes in the film makes me hold back ever so slightly from jumping straight back into rewatching it. Guys... the man has no respect for door knobs. You have to have limits with rewatching that sort of barbarity.

So there you have it! This was a surprisingly fun write-up. I think I'm going to pose myself the challenge of actually writing out my nominees and adding them to the categories as I watch movies in 2024 as opposed to trying to aggregate everything in hindsight. Even as somebody who writes notes meticulously, some details can slip through the cracks. What are some movies that I barely talked about that I should mention before wrapping up? The Last King of Scotland is really freaking good. I just wished they didn't chop up Kerry Washington in that movie. Finally watching the Back to the Future trilogy was fun. Biff Tanner has a great "The Question Song". Ferris Bueller's Day Off is damn good and I finally got the hype for why people like that John Hughes guy. I saw the first 4 Rocky Movies and I gotta admit, that meathead Sylvester Stallone is pretty charming. Just don't talk to him about the zoo! Those Alien movies were pretty good. Puss in Boots was pretty good, but still not in the same stratosphere as Shrek 2. Fair Play had one of the cringiest scenes in all of cinema this year and I had to physically bite my arm because of how uncomfortable it made me. Rollerball was fun and weird without much payoff. RoboCop was a good time. I'D BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! I kinda liked Annie Hall despite Woody Allen but don't understand the cult-like obsession even after watching it. Scarface was stupid fun and like a B-movie where they got Pacino somehow. All in all, it's my best year ever of watching movies. Until 2024!

pelagia14 · December 23, 2023

Wow, your 2023 Movies in Review was a delightful read! I haven't watched a lot of movies in the past couple of years - not really sure why, outside of a lack of time - but your post makes me want to make a concerted effort to get back into it. I also love how you try pick a different genre or era of cinema each year to help round out your cinematic experiences.

Ranked Movie List

Of your 9.0+ movies, I've only seen Interstellar.
- No Country for Old Men shows up in so many videos about filmography, so it's almost embarrassing that I haven't gotten around to it, yet.
- Jackie Brown and The Godfather have also been on my list for a while. Never heard of 5 to 7 before - I don't often watch movies with a strong romance theme, but its short blurb coupled with your high praise actually has me pretty intrigued.
Of your 8.0-7.0 movies:
- I see some Miyazaki with Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Sky. If you've watched other Studio Ghibli movies outside of this year, does one of them rank higher for you? I'd say that Howl's ranks in most people's Top 3 for that studio, though it ranks a little lower for me.
- Yooooo The Road to El Dorado, hell yeah!
- It's been ages since I've seen the first two John Wick movies, but I'd probably agree that Chapter 2 is the series' zenith.
- Woah, I had no idea there was a documentary about the almost-successful assassination attempt on Alexei Navalny.
- Children of Men! I remember watching something about how they filmed the long shots - especially the one in the car - and it was wild to see how they pulled them off.
Do you post your movie reviews somewhere? You seem to at least write reviews for your 9.0's, but I would be particularly interested in reading what you have to say about Mad Max: Fury Road (in terms of the elements that prevented you from ranking it higher).

Awards & Nominations

Mesmerizing Woman:
- Your comment about Chel cracked me up.
- Alright, definitely need to get around to Jackie Brown.
Kept Thinking About:
- Oh, I was delighted to see Children of Men show up here!
- The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is a great movie to watch during depressive slumps (or not!), I glad it came to you at the right time.
"I Just Didn't Get It":
- It's been literal decades since I've seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. From what I recall, I feel like the visuals and atmosphere of the movie still hold up today - especially considering how it either pioneered a lot of technical skills or was at least the first to utilize them well. My struggle with the movie is that the pacing was intended to mimic travelogues which is a great idea conceptually, but I'm too impatient to full appreciate.
Best Action:
- While I adore Fury Road, in terms of a pure action movie I think John Wick 2 nailed the assignment, just like you said.

My watch list has grown longer after reading your post, but it's a nice problem to have! Definitely seems like 2023 was a banger year for movies for you, thanks for sharing your experience with us!.

YaManSmevz · December 25, 2023

Aayyyyyy that's what's up!! Mah man👊

I am impressed with not only how many movies you've watched this year, but how many are straight up solid af one way or the other. It's cool for me cuz while I didn't know a lot of the games you played this year, I do know quite a lot of the movies you watched!

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Most Watched Director: (Akira Kurosawa, Denis Villeneuve, Quentin Tarantino, Stanley Kubrick, Yasujirō Ozu)

Most Watched Actor: (Al Pacino, James Caan, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Toshiro Mifune)

Mesmerizing Woman: (Andy Allo in Upload, Chel in Road to El Dorado, Kyōko Kishida in An Autumn Afternoon, Pam Grier in Jackie Brown, Sydney Tamiia Poitier in Death Proof)

Niiice. I still have quite a lot of work to do myself when it comes to Kurosawa's filmography. First one I saw was Throne of Blood, think it was on AMC or TCM or some shit but I was utterly mesmerized.

So happy to hear of all the astounding Pacino performances you got to see this year, that is a murderer's row of top notch shit. I liked Scent of a Woman a lot too, though that might could be cuz it drips of early 90s cinema. AH SHAAOOUU YEWW OUTTA ORDAH!!

And Pam Grier is objectively correct, that woman aged like a wine and cheese basket covered with a leather jacket. That's that grown lady good good right there!

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Worst Movie: (Brian's Song, Now You See Me 2, White Men Can't Jump 2023, Wonder Woman 1984)

Worst Actor: (Jack Harlow in White Men Can't Jump 2023, James Caan in Brian's Song, Joaquin Phoenix in The Master)

Worst Actress: (Gal Gadot in Wonder Woman 1984, Sofia Coppola in The Godfather Part III, Storm Reid in Missing)

Makes me sad to see Brian's Song here, BUT I was a lil kid when I saw it so who knows. I just remember that booming, quivering delivery of "I LOVED Brian Piccolo." Sad too to see WW84 as well, I enjoyed the first one but by and large people very much dislike the sequel.. looks like I'm probably never gonna bother, myself.

Yeah, can we end the Jack Harlow experiment already?

Hah. That was a famously bad performance... poor woman just got thrust into a prominent role in one of the most beloved franchises of all time with nothing but a last name and an on-screen cousin to fuck. A shame.

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Kept Thinking About: (Barry Lyndon, Children of Men, Draft Day, My Dinner with Andre, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

"I Just Didn't Get It": (2001: A Space Oydssey, Ikiru, Paris Texas, Persona, Rashomon)

Best Tension: (Hell or High Water, Inglourious Basterds, Leon: The Professional, Prisoners, Sicario)

Still need to see Barry Lyndon!

2001: A Space Odyssey is like tomatoes for me, I LOVE but totally get why it's not for everybody. A crippling fear of time and space helps a great deal😂

Man, Tarantino always been a G when it comes to tension!

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Animated: (Castle in the Sky, Howl's Moving Castle, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, The Lego Movie, The Road to El Dorado)

Best International: (Autumn Sonata, Children of Men, High and Low, Seven Samurai, Triangle of Sadness)

Best Dialogue: (A Few Good Men, Death Proof, Inglourious Basterds, Jackie Brown, My Dinner with Andre)

Seven Samurai is the GoAT, no argument there.

I didn't like Death Proof as much as I thought I would when it came out, but it definitely grew on me over time. And another category where Tarantino shines, love it😎

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Action: (John Wick: Chapter 2, John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum, Kill Bill: Volume 1, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Mechanic)

Best Romance: (500 Days of Summer, All I See Is You, A Star is Born, Licorice Pizza, Pretend That You Love Me)

Best Comedy: (Blazing Saddles, Idiocracy, Not Another Teen Movie, No Hard Feelings, Popstar: Never Stop Stopping)

I have to admit, I found John Wick: Chapter 2 very entertaining, far more than expected perhaps, but.. Mad Max: Fury Road is dat bitch🤘

I'm super picky with romance (something I've learned about myself because my wife is NOT), but yeah was not a fan of A Star Is Born at ALL. That's the "Just Didn't Get It" for me!

Also it makes me super happy to see Not Another Teen Movie take the honors, especially alongside such comedic heavy hitters! That movie still cracks me the fuck up, so many ridiculous little gags, it's almost overwhelming. Janie soaked head to toe coming out of the pool and Priscilla acting like spilling her water bottle is such a big, bitchy act, then hearing off in the distance "THAT'S GONNA STAIN!!" And of course the over the top running away and crying to cap it off🤣🤣🤣 Really glad you enjoyed that one!

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Music: (Amadeus, Barry Lyndon, Howl's Moving Castle, Titanic, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)

Best Scene: (Coin Toss in No Country for Old Men, De niro v. Pacino in Heat, Hyman Roth in The Godfather Part II, I'm Not Leaving in The Wolf of Wall Street, Sinking Ship in Titanic)

Best Screenplay: (Children of Men, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Jackie Brown, Jurassic Park, Triangle of Sadness)

Amadeus🥰 Also I failed to mention before, but I loved Secret Life of Walter Mitty as well - good call on it being a great one to watch when you're feelin lost or just down on yourself in general.

Yeah, you can't fuck with that coin toss scene. "Well done!"

All the Jackie Brown love is dope to see... in fact, I need to slap that on my damn self!

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Animal: (Dog in John Wick 2, Jonesy in Alien, Pikachu in Detective Pikachu, Rat Willem Dafoe in Fantastic Mr. Fox, Velociraptors in Jurassic Park)

Best Supporting Actor: (Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds, Julius Carrey in The Last Dragon, Ke Huy Quan in EEAO, Paul Bettany in M&C, Robert Forster in Jackie Brown)

Best Supporting Actress: (Debra Winger in An Officer and a Gentleman, Dolly de Leon in Triangle of Sadness, Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada, Stephanie Hsu in EEAAO)

That poor dog!

Cristoph Waltz, man.. that's one of those performances that nobody talks shit about, he was just too good. Chilling and charming is not an easy duo to get down, but he nails it!

Damn, looks like I need to see Triangle of Sadness.

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Actress: (Cate Blanchett in Tár, Emily Blunt in Sicario, Keira Knightley in Colette, Michelle Yeoh in EEAAO, Pam Grier in Jackie Brown)

Best Actor: (Al Pacino in Godfather, Casey Affleck in Manchester By the Sea, Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men, James Mason in Lolita, Takashi Shimura in Seven Samurai)

Best Director: (Francis Ford Coppola for The Godfather, Ethan & Joel Coen No Country for Old Men, Quentin Tarantino for Jackie Brown, Stephen Spielberg for Jurassic Park)

Been meaning to see Everything Everywhere All At Once for some time now, I've heard Ms. Yeoh was incredible... but dude I'm always happy to see Pam Grier getting her flowers👊

Surprised to see Javier Bardem and Takashi Shimura overtaken, but well deserved! When he first came on the scene I remember thinking "Ugh, Ben Affleck's little brother, who cares" til I saw his perfomance in The Assassination of Jesse James, that shit shut me up real quick😄 I need to check out more of his stuff!

As for The Godfather...

On 12/23/2023 at 11:36 AM, realm722 said:

Best Picture: (Everything Everywhere All At Once, Interstellar, Jackie Brown, Jurassic Park, Lolita, Manchester by the Sea, Master & Commander, No Country for Old Men, Seven Samurai, Titanic, The Godfather, The Wolf of Wall Street, Triangle of Sadness)

...I mean that's a hard pick to be mad at! As you say, that shit's a classic for very good reason!

Also nice to see you scratched so many great movies off of the list! Back to the Future along with the John Hughes oeuvre are such great 80s fun, the first two Alien movies are each so great in such stylistically different ways, the Rocky films definitely have a unique charm... you watched some great shit this year, my guy. Great post!

...I'll let myself out.

EDIT: Also shit, Merry Christmas my dude👊

Edited December 25, 2023 by YaManSmevz

realm722 · January 7

Game: Bugsnax (Limited World / Sandbox)

Analysis: I did not buy Bugsnax. Rather, I got it for free as all others PS+ Users did during the month of December 2020. We finally got around to it as my 1st game in 2024!

Why Bugsnax? Of all the quirky games I've reviewed over the years, Bugsnax has to be the one that received the most fanfare along with confusion when it was first announced. This is because Sony, in a throwback to their wacky PlayStation 2 days, felt comfortable tossing it in the lineup for the PLAYSATION 5 REVEAL EVENT. I don't know how much I can express that this was a bold ass maneuver on the behalf of Sony. Gamers are horrible people. At least the ones foaming at the mouth of a reveal trailer event are. If the games being shown aren't automatically filed into the typical category of ELITE GRAPHICS and ACTION GAMEPLAY, you're going to get ResidentSleeper'd to death. Here Sony's marketing team showed enough faith in a product that they decided to display it amongst the likes of Demon's Souls and Deathloop. Of course, this wasn't some indie developer out of the blue. The creators, Young Horses Games are the developers behind Octodad, a meme game that was all the rage on YouTube of yesteryear. I played it back in April 2021 and liked it! Was their sequel going to continue trying to tap into that sort of viral content or would the gameplay systems be a bit more robust? Only one way to find out!

Oh, It's Not A Meme Game - I've just gotta come out and say it y'all. Bugsnax is a GOOD video game. I feel comfortable saying this without any reservations. It may not be for everybody, but there's a solid amount of robust gameplay systems that this isn't just some quirky game that's all frills with cute graphics and a subtly darker narrative without anything else to back out. The GAMEPLAY is pretty fun. You're in a first-person perspective and slowly throughout the game while progressing are given more and more tools to catch trickier and more prolific Bugsnax. The SnaxScope which serves as the game's camera mode allows you to gather intel on creatures and can provide hints on how to capture them. Your Snak Trap is what you'll need to capture a bulk amount of them and early on all you'll need is this to capture the baby snax early on. For larger creatures, you may have to use your Sauce Slinger to shift bugsnax around to certain positions to make them more obtainable. The buggy ball is a bit of junior crew game design but adds a mobile lure for capturing. The launchpad is fun and creates for some emergent gameplay while the trip shot is my favorite tool and I love the freedom the game gives you to get creative when it comes to knocking out bugnsax. All of these systems combine to give a fun amount of diversity. When you cobble that with the fact there are a solid amount of different areas to explore with each level never feeling small nor overwhelming, you're talking about an impressive amount of effort put into a game that most people would underestimate at first glance.

Incredibly Memorable - At the end of a long year of gaming, it can be very easy to go looking back through the games you've played and say: "oh yea... I did play that. What the hell was it even about again?" Some games just don't have the staying power of others. Bugsnax will never fall into that category. I don't know how it could. This game is bursting with creativity and soul that you can't help but let out a smile while playing. Despite having the appearance of a kid's game, the various personalities you'll come across have reveal fractions of personalities you'll be used to. They fight, bicker, and have resentment against others that you have to smooth over as an outside party. The Bugsnax themselves are delightful. I will be saying "BUNGER BUNGER BUNGER" to myself for a long time because it's just so much fun to say. Maybe it's easy to rip these fun elements as a mere ripoff of the Pokemon franchise but as someone who never played Pokemon growing up and thus never got the fascination, I can appreciate it in my adulthood now. The way the game takes it's subtle turn from cutesy fun to "something's f'd up around here" without going ALL the way off the deep end is indicative of a creative vision beyond: "YO WHAT IF WE MADE STEAMBOAT WILLIE HORROR HAH". The OST's pretty good too! I've seen enough here to officially say Young Horses Gamre are NOT a one-hit wonder. They've got some serious talent over there and I'll definitely check out their 3rd game whenever it comes out.

I Appreciate the Persona 5 Elements - I have no doubt that I'm going to upset somebody at some point by continuing to make reference to Persona 5 as the only game in video game history that had the idea of letting you spend time with certain characters in order to form a closer bond. I get that guys. Side quests have been around for a long time. But it's just the game I find the easiest to automatically recommend whenever I come across it. I dig the Bugsnax village. I love how you get to slowly witness its revitalization as you manage to recruit more grumps back home. I like the fact each of them serves their own personal purpose in town. I like that you can draw closer to each of them by dedicating time to each of their side quests and figuring out what makes each of them tick. I like the campfire / party sequences which are a fun break from the bugsnax snagging.

The Grumps Themselves - Let's actually go through each of the grumps since the amount of characterization by each of them is surprisingly better than what you'll find out of a lot of games on the market. Filbo is the Mayor of Snaxburg and is the 2nd most relevant character in the game aside from the protagonist. He has the same voice actor as Ryuji from Persona 5. He tries to stay positive and bring everybody together despite the scorn and ire of the grumpuses around him. You feel bad for him at times. Wambus is the truck-driving blue-collar grumpus. He's the tallest of the bunch. I like him. Beffica is a socialite and a jerk to everyone except us. She's whatever. Gramble is the sweet boy who doesn't want anybody to ever harm his bugsnax ever. Sometimes his hippiness and over-protectiveness can get on your nerves but he has a good heart. Wiggle is a singer. I'll leave my thoughts at that. Triffany is awesome. She's actually Whambus' wife and you help reconcile after they split. The Minnesotan / Canadian accent is wildly endearing to me. Cromdo's a bit of a hothead and scam artist selling us that broken bridge but he's got a wackier side to him that you can enjoy. Chandlo is BEST boy. He's the green on in the bottom left hand corner of the image. I dig his obsession with working out and basketball. He's good people. Snorpy and Floofty both have sticks up their butts but I guess they each have their reasons for doing so. All in all, it's a pretty memorable cast and while I understand the "over-the-topness" may not be for everybody, I had fun with it.

Delicious Jank - When you think of jankiness, what comes to mind? I feel like the default example in my head is slowly skirting your way up a mountain in Skyrim when you in your heart of hearts know that's not the intended path the developers had in mind. Perhaps the hitboxes on a game are a bit clunky. Perhaps you can complete certain objectives in an obtuse fashion that the developer didn't have in mind. Jank can make a game feel clumsy and uncomfortable and on other occasions can make it endearing for allowing you to even attempt it in the first place. Bugsnax is a gourmet 3 star Michelin restaurant of jank. I love it. For every bugsnax in the game, there is a tried and true method to catching it. The game functions perfectly well if you play it normally and don't push the limits of the systems. But boy oh boy. If you want to be greedy and INSIST in capturing a certain creature YOUR way... the game lets you do it. This is found in the mobility of the tools and being able to bend them to put your character in certain spots that the developers never intended the vast majority of players to even attempt. If you just want to see somebody break a video game in a fun way and have a blast while doing so, check out Joseph Anderson breaking Bugsnax and come back to me after recovering your jaw off the floor.

My Platinum Experience - The road to completion in Bugsnax really isn't all that complicated. You can follow the wonderful trophy guide found on here OR take a trip to YouTube and use The Welsh Hunter's guide for 100% completion. The game will tell you when you hit a point of no-return so it's incredibly generous in that regard. It's not difficult to catch all 100% bugsnax at all once you have all the tools in the end game. Make sure you feed the grumpuses so they transform. The miscellaneous trophies are fairly straightforward and shouldn't take very long whatsoever. There is an additional 3 trophies for the free DLC. The hats are easy to collect once you find one. If you want to avoid a hassle, just sleep every time until you get the first two starting areas (Garden Grove / Flavor Falls) and each time you collect sleep some more until they pop up again. You'll blaze through collecting all 10. The mailbox requests for furnishing your whole hut will take a little bit of time. But if you get lucky with the ones you check off the list, I only needed to do 59 of the 72 requests before the trophy popped. Finally, there's the Adventure at Broken Tooth which is a whole detour section with every more Bugsnax (not necessary for the platinum). This bit isn't too long and you get to spend some more time tackling behemoth bugsnax that make the ones in the base game seem miniature. I earned the 36.30% rarity platinum in 1 week and 1 day!

Would I recommend Bugsnax? Absolutely. Maybe others won't appreciate this game as much as I did. I recognize that it may not be for everyone. Perhaps the goofy setting and eccentric personalities may be grating for their players. In terms of the mechanics, I'll admit the "100 Bugsnax" number is inflated due to the number of reskinned Strawbys, Peelbugs, and other collections of creatures that are just a small variation of one another with a slight skin retexturing. Maybe the fun of capturing the creatures gets old before the end for others. I know that for me it didn't. Maybe there weren't enough diverse ways to catch creatures as some would have liked. It's up to personal opinion at that point. I had a very fun time with the game and hope its legacy is more fondly remembered than: "lol remember that Bugsnax game from the PS5 reveal" to "Yo... Bugsnax is GOOD man." It's good to be back in 2024. If you'll excuse me, I'm prepared to go watch the hospital Dolphins get fisted by Buffalo so we only have to *check notes* go on the road to the defending Super Bowl Champions and the best QB in the NFL to try and snap our playoff loss curse. Woo!

Panda Score: 7.63 / 10

Panda Difficulty: 2.84 / 10

Spoiler

Bugsnax
29-Dec-2023
* I love the bunga burger
* Wambus secret cactus wife
* Wambus vs Gramble, poor Filbo only with us Beffica
* “My journalistic integrity doesn’t allow me to eat bugsnax”
* The campfire scene ghost stories has a lot of soul, I like it
* I like Chandlo and his love of basketball
* bruh one of those popsicle dudes glitched me into ice picks
* This is such a pleasant game

realm722 · January 11

I Predict The Metacritic Scores For The Biggest Games Set to Release in 2024

We're back everyone! In 2023, I made an effort to predict the Metacritic scores for all the biggest games set to be released and did incredibly well if I do say so myself. But this is no time to rest on my laurels. It's 2024 now and I'm determined to prove that last year's predictions weren't a mere fluke but something inherent to my soul that by merely looking at a video game trailer and knowing a thing or two about critics and wider game audiences, I can determine where a game will ultimately rank in the grand scheme of things. Let's not waste any more time and break down what I believe will be the fate of the biggest games in 2024!

Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth (86) - In late January, we have our latest entry in the Yakuza franchise coming down the half-pipe! There's no need to complicate this. Ever since Yakuza 0 came out, the Yakuza franchise has blossomed out West. This went from being a niche series that only your cool friends knew about to being widely beloved by all from Kiryu to Majima. Of course, the latest games have changed protagonist now following Ichiban Kasuga. The people who love these games REALLY love these games and there's no reason for me to believe they'll be stopping any time soon. I think the setting switching up to Hawaii is also going to bring a breath of fresh air. I'd be stunned if it scored sub-80.

Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League (70) - Last year, I predicted Suicide Squad to score a 72. This year, I'm bumping that down 2 further points. I fear that it may even be worse than what I'm anticipating here. "Dead on arrival" seems a bit harsh, but the amount of blowback this game has received from the trailers alone has been INTENSE. People grilling the developers for making such a diverse cast of fun characters into... the same... generic... shoot 'em up where you shoot purple spots on the big guy while the shark flys across the map even though the shark character shouldn't be able to do that. That's before I even bring up the microtransactions backlash. It could score in the 60's and people will eulogize about the waste of talents over at Rocksteady after the Batman: Arkham trilogy. OR maybe I'll be totally off base, it scores low 80s, and the game actually has some staying power. I'd bet against it after what Marvel's Avengers scored but hey.

Banishers: Ghosts of Eden (74) - The latest game from the folks over at Don't Nod. They're the developers of the Life is Strange series along with Vampyr and Jusant. I start to get very queasy when a developer not known for making a gameplay combat game tries to make a gameplay combat game. Vampyr had some decent ideas but scored a 70. I'd be surprised if this ended up being a home run but I'm sure there are a few people who could have the game sneak into their Top 10.

Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth (90) - HERE WE FREAKING GO EVERYBODY!!!! February 29th can't get here soon enough! Finally a game I'm previewing that I myself am absolutely gassed up for. When Final Fantasy VII Remake came out, I had next to zero interest in the Final Fantasy franchise. The fact that the game became available for PS+ Users and kind of revolutionized this entire thread by making me so passionate about has me chomping at the bit to devour the sequel. I didn't play the original. I don't know what the heck happens after you leave Sector 7 and the initial city. I know it's supposed to open up open-world style and there's Chocobos and such but I have done my best to avoid many of the trailers due to the fact I know I'm going to devour this game when I finally get the chance. The combat is scrumptious. The characters I will ride-or-die with to the ends of the earth. I have no doubt there is some gasbag out there who is going to be mad at some of the inevitable probable tweaks to the original story but I don't care. If the game can recapture even 80% of the magic I felt after playing the original, it's going to be my GOTY for 2024. I don't have any worries about a potential freefall failure. Square Enix may commit there errors every now and then but this is their crown baby unicorn jewel. They're not going to botch this. Worst case scenario is an 85 but I think high 80's and low 90's is the eventual Metacritic resting point.

Dragon's Dogma II (81) - I'm going to be honest and confess that I'm not extremely familiar with the original Dragon's Dogma from 2012. I know Joseph Anderson made a video on it, he enjoyed it with some criticisms here and there, but the game was more beloved by audiences than it was critics over a decade ago. This is where my meta-gaming for determining a final score comes into play. DD had cult fans. Those cult fans have been crying for a sequel. While you may think it's just fans, 10 years is a pretty damn long time and inevitably some of those fans have become video game journalists for several outlets. Hence, I predict a score in the 80's for Dragon's Dogma, not too high given the probable jank I recall from the original but high enough that it'll be respectable and the game will appear on a solid amount of Top 10 lists at the end of the year.

Hollow Knight: Silksong (92) - Is it finally going to happen? Last year I predicted it'd score a 94. I don't think I've ever seen an indie game so hyped and anticipated in my entire life. In May of 2023, Mossbag posted about Silksong getting delayed. Will it release in 2024? My gut says yes. Maybe August or September. I could be wrong. But Hollow Knight originally debuted back in 2017. The ports for consoles came in September of 2018. We're looking at nearly 6 years worth of development. Maybe it comes. Maybe it doesn't. It won't score less than a 90 because it's going to be an incredible and you can take that to the bank.

Senua's Sacrifice: Hellblade 2 (79) - Is anybody excited for this? I remember the original Hellblade coming out in 2017 and people being pretty meh on the gameplay but impressed by the sound design and story. The sequel was announced at The Game Awards 2019, it has gone Xbox-exclusive and it's 2024 and we're... still waiting. It really feels like Xbox needs a win in the GAMES department after the punching bag Starfield has become. Is this it? I... don't think so. I'm sure the graphics will be cutting-edge. I'm sure it'll be decent. But I'm not going to bet on the new breakout hit Xbox title until it finally actually happens and I think we're going to keep waiting.

Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines 2 (65) - Hahahah... speaking of games that got delayed into eternity, can you believe that the sequel to Vampire: The Masequerade is allegedly coming out in 2024? That's what Forbes is saying! Let's just look at the facts. This game has been in development for who knows how long. Swansong got dunked on. New York was eh. Heck, the beloved original only scored an 80. THE ORIGINAL CAME OUT IN 2004. THAT'S 20 YEARS AGO! I'm afraid the diehards who have been waiting this long are going to be disappointed if they expect anything recapturing the magic and innovativeness of the original. Games that myriad in development hell aren't good. It's the truth of the matter. If I had to pick any game here to score in the 50's and I be woefully off the mark, it'd be this one.

Star Wars: Outlaws (77) - A game that I feel is most likely to be met with mild appreciation from critics and scorn by actual players. There is not another developer out there that loves being dunked on by players more than Ubisoft. People love to complain about the towers in an open-world setting. The bloat of Assassin's Creed. The padding of all their games put together. Valhalla was reviewed worse by fans. Far Cry was reviewed worse by fans. I have no reason to believe that their entry in the Star Wars franchise will be any different. Until Ubisoft proves they have a pitch other than the one they've been throwing for the last 15 years, I'm not going to swing outside of the zone on them banging out a home run.

Metaphor: ReFantazio (84) - By far the most interesting game on this entire list. The trailers look BONKERS. The Persona vibes are off the Richter scale. Those menus alone would make a UI designer weep. While it's giving strong Persona vibes, the fantasy setting is wild, and the turn-based combat all seems to be there... what's going to make it standout as a slam dunk hit? It's definitely a game I'm going to be keeping tabs on and while it's rumored to have a release for fall of 2024, I speculate that the game could get delayed into early 2025. I'd be happy to be wrong though.

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT! If you're wondering why I selected these games, well... they're the ones that most intrigued me. Gotta be honest, 2024 is kinda underwhelming in terms of major anticipatory releases. Not saying it'll be a bad year for games or anything. 2023 was pretty awesome. But look at this list. OR this list. The Wolf Among Us 2 could be decent I guess. Still gotta play the original. Hades 2 Early Access should be fun for those who dabble in games before it's official release. Foamstars is a lock to be a flop. I think Animal Well will score in the mid-70s. Am I crazy or is there a lack of MAJOR heavy hitters around the corner? 2025 has got Grand Theft Auto 6, Death Stranding 2, Kingdom Hearts IV, Judas, Monster Hunter Wilds, & Fable. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Until next time!

realm722 · January 22

Game: Thumper (Rhythm)

Analysis: I did not buy Thumper. Rather, I got it for free along with many other PS Users during the month of March-April 2021 as part of a gift from Sony.

Why Thumper? What exactly compels a man to finally check out a game that has been sitting in his backlog for nearly 3 full years? Quite simply, finally getting over the impediment of "I may not be good enough to platinum this" over "I'm probably going to enjoy this game". If you've read anything about Thumper, you've probably read that it's a rhythm VIOLENCE game. Hell, the developer's own damn website markets it in that fashion. What the hell does that mean? In essence, the game is hella intense and feels like you're a rogue silver beetle sent to kill a floating in-the-sky demon head. You've gotta do some sick rhythm bounces, slams, turns, & twists to take him down. Perform well enough and you'll continue to advance. Get hit twice and you gotta start to level back from the beginning. For the longest time, I was reluctant to check it out to the unique VR tie-in as well not really feeling up for rhythm games after my PaRappa the Rapper frustration. But enough time has subsided that I figured: "if enough people are talking well about this game, even if it's brutally difficult, I'll probably enjoy it." Was I correct?

Discovering the Fun & Platinum Strategy - I think the first time I realized I was having a great time with the game was on Level 1-12. It looks comically simple compared to some of the challenges that'll be thrown your way once you get into the latter half but the music combined with the rush of timing those corner turns and trying to get those magnificently timed "perfect turn" chimes is exhilarating. My method of play was going to be very simple. As there are only 9 levels (with varying amounts of stages from as few as 15 to as many as 30), I would treat my 1st playthrough on a level as merely learning the basics of what new trick the game is trying to teach me along with just doing enough in order to avoid dying and just keep advancing to the next stage. I didn't bother with collecting all of the rings or hitting every track node available. Survive and advance baby. Then, once I played through the level for the first time, I'd play it again a second time and try to obtain an S-rank on each stage.

How the Game Escalates Difficulty - Honestly, the game super early on wasn't giving me much of a hassle. Sure it wasn't easy. Your eyes need to adjust to the speed at which the game throws challenges at you. You need to concentrate. This isn't a game where you can be casually dozing off or daydreaming. It is NOT a chill game. It's frenetic as hell. When you play Thumper, you better be locked in or you're not going to last very long. I learned that in order to make turns, you could actually hold the X button well before turning along with the direction without needing to precisely time it right AT the turn itself. That was helpful. Especially once I got to Level 2 and was scooping up the blue nodes in the ground and accelerating right into a harsh turn. I found a HUGE increase in difficulty to be at Level 4. Now that the game was challenging you with multiple tracks (literally going right or left depending on what's thrown at you) to be a huge adjustment after casually being one-track-minded the first 3 levels. Level 5 continues to elevate the challenge with flying in the air and completing perfect turns in order to gather more rings in the air. This isn't REQUIRED for an S-rank until Level 6 but you're better off practicing earlier on. Honestly, beyond Level 6, there wasn't anything I found TOO ridiculous or a leap ahead of anything found earlier in the game. Sure some tracks will demand more of you and some bosses may take some practice to learn their precise timing windows but with enough practice and persistence, I never once felt the dreaded: "I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to do this."

Yet It's Remarkably Generous - I feel like hands down the greatest thing a difficult game can do is be generous despite its challenge. I think a marvelous previous example of this is Furi. Furi COULD HAVE made it so you couldn't take nearly as much damage as you're allowed to while going for the S-rank runs but it didn't. The game is hard as hell. But it's not unforgiving either. I find Thumper to be very similar. This is a HARD game. It will sometimes demand 1-2 minutes of utter brilliance out of you. But due to this difficulty, it doesn't demand 20+ minutes of perfection out of you either. I'll explain. While each level has a C, B, A, or S rank, each stage does as well. 1-1, 1-2, 1-3, 1-4, etc... Thumper also gives you a grade for each stage. C, B, A, or S. The generous thing Thumper does is after each stage, it will immediately give you your score. If you're not satisfied it, you can immediately restart the checkpoint to the PREVIOUS stage and give it another go. This allows for an infinite amount of retries until you get the stage juuuuust right. But the generosity doesn't stop there. The game ALSO allows you to quit out mid-run whenever you like and your progress will continue from the last checkpoint. Hence, let's say you're smack dab in the middle of a long level and need to stop at stage... 6-15. You can quit out, save, and continue tomorrow from where you left off. The game didn't have to be that kind. But it is. And I appreciate it for that fact.

Where Are the Progression Blockers - I feel like one of the best ways to handle a challenge going into it are knowing when exactly some of the hair-pulling will occur. Here I am to provide you with some of the levels that most kicked my ass. Level 2-5 kicked my butt early on as I went a few days without playing. Now with hindsight I feel like I could get S-rank in my sleep. Level 4-15 was the first level that kicked my butt so bad that I actually quit the session due to my frustration with it. Sometimes you need to know when you're spiraling and aren't going to make any more progress for the day. It was those rapid turns combined with the switching lanes and barricades that had me losing my mind. Thankfully got it the very next day after relatively few attempts. Level 5-6 is when I started to record my own personal attempts so you can see how good I had to get for some latter stages. This one has perfect turns required along with an obnoxious circle that will block a lot of your vision. Level 5-25 immaculately captures how amazingly fast I got at resetting after goofing up and missing a blue node. Even looking back at it now I can't believe I played that well. That took me around 50 minutes worth of attempts. It doesn't compare though to LEVEL 6-19 WHICH IS THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE ENTIRE GAME. Why does it suck so much? Because the game asks you to get perfect turns and slams into the ground for power-up nodes which is something it never previously asks players to do. I felt so seen when @Baker mentioned being stuck on it in the complaining thread. It was the first level I had to actually watch other player's videos in order to understand what to do. After a day's rest, within 30min of the following play session I finally got through. Level 9-7 is when the game decided to be a jerk again... not gonna lie, looking back at the footage makes me feel like a badass. It took me around an hour to finally have everything come together for the magical run on video. Level 9-13 is hypnotizing for me because in the moment it felt like it was one that shouldn't take THAT long to get down pat but those perfect turns at the end was just brutal. That clenching you have over you knowing you have to be perfect at the end and not have all your previous labor go to waste is stupidly intense.

Here Are My Scores For Comparison - As a treat, I figured it'd be fun for others to see how I scored on my first attempt vs. my S-rank run for others to compare.

* Level 1 1st Run: 43,950 (B Rank) - B, A S, B, S, A, A, B, A, A, B, C, A, B, B

* Level 1 All S-Rank: 148,200 Final Score!

* Level 2 1st Run: 117,550 (B Rank) - C, A, A, A, B, C, A, A, S, B, B, C, A, B, B, S, A, S, A, A, B, C

* Level 2 All S-Rank: 191,950 Final Score!

* Level 3 1st Run: 142,300 (B Rank) C, S, A, B, B, B, S, B, S, A, S, C, B, C, B, A, S, B, B, B, C, C, C, C, S, C
* Level 3 All S-Rank: 255,700 final score!

* Level 4 1st Run: 151,950 (C Rank) S, B, B, A, S, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, A, B, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B

* Level 4 All S-Rank: 371,950 Final Score!

* Level 5 1st Run: 146,150 (C Rank): C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, B, B, C, C, A, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, C, S

* Level 5 All S-Rank: 392,950 Final Score!

* Level 6 1st Run: 197,300 (C Rank): C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, A, C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, B

* Level 6 All S-Rank: 514,750 Final Score!

* Level 7 1st Run: 180,950 (C Rank): A, A, C, B, B, B, C, C, C, B, C, B, B, S, C, B, B, B, C

* Level 7 All S-Rank: 320,250 Final Score!

* Level 8 1st Run: 201,200 (C Rank): B, B, A, C, C, C, C, B, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, B, B, B, C, C, C, C, C

* Level 8 All S-Rank: 520,050 Final Score!

* Level 9 1st Run: 209,650 (C Rank): C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, B, C, B, B, B, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, A, C, B

* Level 9 All S-Rank: 522,800 Final Score!

These Are the Games I Love - It's about damn time when we hit the point in the review where I just gush about the game. It's awesome, man. Maybe if you're somebody who doesn't enjoy difficult games for the sake of difficulty OR finds attempting the same course over and over again repetitive, it may not be for you. As someone who loves a good gameplay loop with the challenge being mastery, this game was precisely up my alley. The music is freaking banging. The game kindly allows you small moments of downtime after an intense run. Boss fights feel fantastic as they require you to hit every single node in a row and if you fail, it forces you to start from the top of the cycle until you get things right. It lived up to the hype for me in terms of being a game that demands excellence but is worth if if you're willing to spend the time getting your ass kicked to get good. I earned the 3.04% rarity platinum in around 3 days and 1 hour for a total of 24 hours play-time!

Would I recommend Thumper? Absolutely. It's one of the best games I've played in the last few years and I don't feel like I'm being a prisoner of the moment when saying that. The developers, Drool, are a small indue studio based out of Rhode Island and they already have their 2nd game in the works in Thrasher, as announced at the 2023 Game Awards. I'm going to check it out at some point given how much fun I had with this. While it's been a bit of a slow start to the year for games with me, if I end up playing less games than in 2023 but on the whole enjoy them more than I did a year ago, I'd consider that a success. Quality over quantity if you need a cliché to catch my drift. I'm thrilled the Bills are outta the playoffs. I picked the Ravens over the 49ers in the Super Bowl back in August and while I don't wanna call myself Nostradamus, I've never felt more confident in a preseason prediction baring fruit than right now!

Panda Score: 9.14 / 10

Panda Difficulty: 7.47 / 10

Spoiler

Thumper
29-Dec-2023
* Okay I can see the fun
* Learning to hold X when on turns
* oh wow there are 15 stages level 1
* 1-11 was a learning curve
* Level 1 1st Run: 43,950 B-Rank - B, A S, B, S, A, A, B, A, A, B, C, A, B, B
* Not bad for my very 1st attempt first level
* level 12 is freaking sick genuinely
* the beat on level 13 is so awesome man
* okay 145k isnt S rank whatever game i guess even one A disqualifies you
* don’t think perfect turns are super relevant, level 1-11 gave most trouble
* Ayyyy we got S rank on all of them 148.2k yea baby!
* Okay so first thoughts only wrapped up Level 1 but I LOVE the restart checkpoint over and over again until S-rank thats going to come i handy for the future levels that want to make me bash my brain in
* Super sloppy returning after a few days off, level 2-5 whooping my butt
* Level 2 1st Run: 117,550 (B Rank), C, A, A, A, B, C, A, A, S, B, B, C, A, B, B, S, A, S, A, A, B, C
* okay level 2 taught me if you pick up a blue X all you gotta do is go left or right on turns not click x again
* ayyyyyy we did it! S rank on all of them, 191.950 not bad!
* Level 3 1st Run: 142,300 (B Rank) C, S, A, B, B, B, S, B, S, A, S, C, B, C, B, A, S, B, B, B, C, C, C, C, S, C
* Level 3 All S rank Done! 255,700 final score!
* OKAY WOW LEVEL 4 is a HUUUGE increase in difficulty man good lord multiple tracks so many more X button presses
* Level 4 1st Run: 151,950 (C Rank) S, B, B, A, S, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, A, B, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B
* okay the game is wildly forgiving to let you quit mid-run and save after each sublevel that is wonderful
* okay level 4-15 kicked my butt, first level im not completing in one sitting bcuz sheesh what an upkick in difficulty man
* alright back at it and while 4-19 whooped me a lil, we keep moving
* alright we did it!
* Level 4 All S Rank: 371,950 Final Score!
* just barely survived it I think 5-25 is going to be an absolute MONSTER
* Level 5 1st Run: 146,150 (C Rank): C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, B, B, C, C, A, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, C, S
* I can tell that one is gonna suck for some levels but some are super short and I S-ranked the final boss so hey
* okay evel 5-6 feels like a brick wall stopping here
* Got thru it, 5-10 is so much fun man even tho tricky to get with the lane switching
* Alright level 5-24 just kicked my butt for a solid 20 minutes good lord I knew the trick but the s tank is super demanding getting all the high hoops
* ALRIGHT TOOK US 50 MINUTES BUT WE DID 5-25 THAT FREAKING SUCKED
* Level 5 All S Rank: 392,950 Final Score!
* Level 5 teaches the player when rising up for the rings in the air that if it’s right around a corner you need to do a perfect turn in order to gather them
* Thumper is a game all about asking for minutes of excellence at a time for the S rank rather than several consecutive minutes or up to an hour like Neón white
* Level 6 1st Run: 197,300 (C Rank): C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, A, C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, B
* okay returning after a week away was tough, now totally stuck on 6-19 even playing well only got a B rank
* Level 6 All S Rank: 514,750 Final Score! hell yea! the s-19 we got through after 30min of attempts 2nd day learning them stomps is the key on those turns wasn’t even the prettiest but I earned it
* level 7 playing through didn’t seem too bad tbh we’ll see going for S ranks
* Level 7 1st Run: 180,950 (C Rank): A, A, C, B, B, B, C, C, C, B, C, B, B, S, C, B, B, B, C
* DID IT! I found Level 7 much easier than Level 6 lol
* Level 7 All S Rank: 320,250 Final Score!
* Level 8 1st Run: 201,200 (C Rank): B, B, A, C, C, C, C, B, C,B, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, B, B, B, C, C, C, C, C
* alright level 8 done honestly not that bad whatsoever!
* Level 8 All S Rank: 520,050 Final Score!
* ayyyy we finished the base game! Woohoo! that last boss gets made trippy with the timing lol
* Level 9 1st Run: 209,650 (C Rank): C, C, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, B, C, B, B, B, C, B, C, C, C, C, C, C, A, C, B
* aight level 9-7 kicked my ass for one hour screw you thumper
* alright 9-13 kicking my butt now, taking a break since my brain is fried
* got past it now past 9-27 and that last cheapshot node
* WE DID IT!
* Level 9 All S Rank: 522,800 Final Score!

realm722 · January 27

Game: The Plane Effect (Mosey Adventure / Puzzle)

Analysis: This is the first game in quite some time I don't remember obtaining. I guess I purchased it? When exactly? I have no idea.

Why The Plane Effect? Quite honestly... I don't remember. I imagine I probably thought the game had a decent platinum rate and wasn't too long and thus it couldn't be all that bad of a time. The developers, Innovina Interactive are based out of Genova, Italy. Perhaps I bought the game during my obsession of playing games from a wide variety of countries and since I remembered this getting some featured spotlight by PlayStation during the debut of the PS5, I figured it was worth a whirl. I was wrong.

The Precise Game I Hate in 2024 - Yup, I hated this. I'm sorry. It's not actually all that miserable experience. It's worst sin is that it's dull above all else. You're going to meander through a bunch of levels and since the game is stupid it's going to require you to gather things and follow sequences in a VERY specific order and deviating slightly from that path is going to make the protagonist shrug his shoulders in apathy. This is an infuriating design for a puzzle game. Why can't I pick up the hammer BEFORE I know that I need a tool to smash the device? Why do you need my dumbass character to first REALIZE he needs something and only THEN are you allowed to backtrack through the level to the specific item you wanted to pick up in the first place. I'm really not trying to be a dick when I say this but did they even play test their game? Did they get outside people to even give the game a gander? Because if so, repeating this sin multiple times throughout each level is genuinely baffling. Who on earth thought the mini-robot mind-reading mechanics were so enthralling that you felt the need to incorporate that in your final level MULTIPLE times? That is a junior crew-ass first 3 levels challenge puzzle at best. The game also has a boatload of other enjoyable things from an underwater level that isn't any more complex than simply moving forward for 5 minutes, a janky ass driving sequence, a janky ass diving sequence, and a janky ass boat sequence. Again, WHO IS THIS FOR? I guess if you're somebody who likes surreal, dialogue-less, eclectic settings there is SOMETHING here for you but I don't have any patience in my soul for this sort of game anymore and it's this ilk of games I'm trying to purge myself out of ever playing again.

My Platinum Experience - As if the game itself weren't bad as is, you've also got a nasty trophy list to boot. There are numerous missable trophies all over the place and the game has NO CHAPTER SELECT which means if you miss it, you're going to have to play the game all over again. Even more cruelly, the game has MISSABLE FIRST-TIME achievements such as not dying for a specific stretch of gameplay which means if you goof up once and didn't make a Cloud / USB save, you're crap outta luck. Who the hell designed this, Mussolini? As an aid, you can follow this 2 1/2 hour trophy guide by The Welsh Hunter who has aided me in previous trophy completion experiences. You're looking at a handful of trophies that'll give you some headache. The trolly sequence on the rails I died at like 8 times before finally getting through without the security cameras detecting me. Sadly, despite my best efforts of following the trophy guide to a tee, I apparently must have cancelled out of one of the "5 memories" discovered collectible too early and thus it did not register when I scooped up the 5th and final memory on the final. Do you know what that meant? I had to play through this entire dreadful video game ALL OVER AGAIN.

My Gran Turismo Review - I genuinely asked myself if I wanted to play through the entire game again. Was it worth it? Absolutely not. But I reasoned with myself: "the game is only 2 hours long AND you already know everything you have to do and got all the missables out of the way AND the game even comes with an easy-as-hell "GUIDED" option which always points you in the direction of what you need to click." What the heck, I'll play it again. With the caveat that I would play it with Sony's "Gran Turismo (2023)" movie playing next to me on Netflix on my laptop. Guys... I'm OBSESSED with this movie. I've been obsessed since somebody said it was their mom's best picture of 2023. It is one of the most "mom bait" movies I've ever seen. It's so... cliche. It's so... sickeningly filled with "RACER TO GAMER" jargon and David Harbour gruffly mumbling under his breathe that "LIFE ISN'T ONE OF YOUR VIDEO GAMES YOU DON'T GET TO RETRY OR RESTART IN THE REAL WORLD" and I was literally high-pitch cackling to myself as I was meandering through The Plane Effect the second time baffled by how the movie could keep one-upping itself. David Harbour actually asks the protagonist: "YOU MAD BRO?" I need other people to watch this movie. I'm surprised by the amount of people saying it's "good". I don't think it's good. I think it's so bad it wraps around to being enjoyable again. Like Wonder Woman 1984 last year with me. Check it out if you haven't. Oh, and right as the movie reached its climactic finish, I earned the 27.51% rarity platinum in 2 days and 4 hours.

Would I recommend The Plane Effect? Absolutely not. I think this is a bad video game with shockingly few redeeming qualities. I'd only recommend it to people who enjoy surreal stories with zero dialogue and have a history of enjoying those types of experiences. There was shockingly little redeeming here from both a gameplay mechanics and story viewpoint that like... I don't have anything else to say. I'm sure there's somebody out there who can enjoy this sort of game but it's the ones I've officially retired to the 2018-2023 era of my video-game-enjoying-career. We'll try and do better going forward.

Panda Score: 5.17 / 10

Panda Difficulty: 3.08 / 10

Platinum_Vice · January 28

On 1/28/2024 at 4:19 AM, realm722 said:

The Precise Game I Hate in 2024

Oh noooooo. I was SO excited to play The Plane Effect. Damn, that is really disappointing.

realm722 · February 1

RealM722 Reviews State of Play (Jan. 31, 2024)

I don't do those too frequently but I figured as it's the first one of 2024, why the heck not? Let's go!

State of Play (Jan. 31, 2024) (LINK)

(0:10) Helldivers II - Not for me. Heard SkillUp could be done for it though so that could be a decent review.

(2:18) Stellar Blade - Ooooh yea this lady in green. Some weeb bait. Combat looks solid though I'm guessing high 70's - low 80's future metacritic score. I appreciate the depth of the preview and the wide variety of landscapes they showed. Seems like a chunky experience 20-25 hours in all likelihood.

(8:55) Sonic x Shadow Generations - Sonic? Ehh whatever. BUT SHADOW? OH HELL YEAH! (probably not but happy for the Sanic fans)

(10:01) Zenless Zone Zero - I saw the Hoyoverse and got scared. I've heard of this series before but ehh... doesn't really entice me.

(11:02) Foamstars - Will this receive even less fanfare than Destruction All-Stars? Probably about the same. Sorry.

(13:10) V Rising - Honestly the perspective on that looks quite cool. Sick as hell combat. That's promising!

(14:40) Silent Hill: The Short Message - Dang that's pretty juicy. Chicks with glasses >>>. 1st person perspective? Phone shenanigans? Not for me but good for those who dig it! I wonder how the full trailer for SH2 is gonna be received since I got hella Resident Evil vibes as somebody who doesn't play those games.

(18:30) Judas - Big Bioshock vibes and then I realized it was that Judas game lmao. Cool lady protagonist. Funky setting. Hope the dialogue/story isn't cringeworthy.

(20:20) Metro Awakening VR - Oh a VR game. I honestly totally forgot that the PSVR2 even came out. Good for people who own that.

(21:55) Legendary Tales - I'm not a VR guy but that combat looked cool as heck battling those skeletons. Hope it gets some proper attention.

(23:20) Dragon's Dogma II - Oh yea that Dragdog. Happy for those who enjoyed the original.

(25:25) Rise of the Ronin - Automatically I'm digging the UI. Traversal looks fun as heck. Gotta say, very impressive showcase. It felt like the game wasn't getting the proper love it deserved since some players had "feudal Japan" fatigue from Sekiro / Ghost of Tsushima but the game looks damn solid. Props!

(29:25) Until Dawn Remastered - Hahaha that good ol' Until Dawn. Good, campy times even if you're watching instead of playing.

(30:48) Death Stranding 2 - Gooey black cat. Fragile, but not that fragile. Freaky as hell. Baby burps up a spaceship. Puppet mannequin on the thigh. Heck yea brother.

Honestly, that extended Death Stranding 2 trailer was awesome. Maybe some people played the original and it simply wasn't for them but I appreciate it for how different it is. 2025 release date really isn't that far off in the grand scheme of things. Kojima playing both sides with that future "action espionage" game is great. We're not gonna appreciate this guy fully until he's gone so I'm hopeful he gets to release as many of his visionary projects before it's all said and done. All in all, soid showcase!

realm722 · February 3

Game: Interaction Isn't Explicit (Mosey Adventure)

Analysis: I did not buy this game. Rather, I got it for FREE and so can you! Yes, this is a free game available for all users with access to the PlayStation Store.

Why Interaction Isn't Explicit? I haven't been able to keep up with the latest games coming out as much as I'd like recently. I have a few games I've scouted to add to the backlog when they go on sale but I haven't stocked back up my ever-thinning backlog in well over half a year. This has led to a lack of appropriate 100%'s to complete and as this year I'm making an effort to focus more on games I'm fairly certain I'll enjoy rather than taking potshots in the dark, I skipped January's 100%. Imagine my reaction when I'm scrolling through the games on the Games section of this website and find this curiously odd-titled aesthetically pleasing black-and-white game with a little over 2,000+ owners in less than half a month since the game has released? Is this a new indie darling? As it turns out, no. This is a FREE game and since it's a FREE game with easy trophies, trophy hunters are going to gobble this game up into dust. That's not an indictment of course. I too am a trophy hunter and I too gobbled this game up into dust. Surprisingly, I thoroughly enjoyed my time without any pretenses and highly recommend anybody reading this to do the same. You can complete it in less than half an hour. What do you have to lose?

A Video Game Essay vs. Video Game - The game doesn't pull any tricks on you as soon as you boot it up. This is less a fun short video game and rather a video game essay (the final boss of the video critique essay) that allows gamers to use their ever-so-marvelous brains in the act of thinking about video games... critically. What gives a game great game feel? Why do I hate some beloved titans of the industry compared to others? There's a LOT of different directions you could go with that premise but the director of the game decides to narrow the scope. In games, you have two options. Interactive systems and explicit systems. An interactive system is very straightforward. Regardless of the situation, you can perform X action. Whether it be running, sliding, jumping, shooting, throwing, etc... you know you always have those trusty tools in your arsenal and can generally faff about no matter what you're doing in the game with those options. But... what about explicit systems?

A Variety of Explicit Systems - Explicit systems simply aren't as interactive as... interactive ones. (Hence, see the title of the game. Very clever, developer. I thought it was a fun odd name and as it turns out, the entire thesis of the essay is found in that title). The developer lists direct examples of this. For example, he points out Bioshock Infinite. Rather than you directly choosing to make the decision, the game pops up two options and says "shoot the guy begging OR shoot the racist guy" by clicking L2 or R2. Make your decision. Decision over. "The game plays itself" is a criticism that can be hurled. There's also the notion of "context sensitivity". This is the idea that a button will pop-up to fulfill and complete any and all unique commands for the player. The game isn't going to have a dedicated button simply for opening doors or for choosing to go up an elevator. So the "△ button" completes all of these functions. Of course, if the game fails to grip you in other ways, fundamentally, you're just clicking triangle every single time to perform these inane actions. My brain immediately jumped to the Final Fantasy 7 Remake and how many times you'd see those little blue arrows on the crowd to indicate Cloud can jump over this small little barrier as the developers didn't trust us with a jump button. I love Final Fantasy 7 Remake, so it's clear that the mere use of an explicit system isn't a bad thing. Hell, the developer himself mentions Persona 5 as another example of an explicit system game that works wonderfully because those mechanics are carried by amazing aesthetics, a fun cast, a dynamic world, etc... so what's the issue?

The Game Lays Bare The Fundamental Issue - While you're progressing through the game, the developer will have given you fun mechanics to mess with. There's some remarkably basic third-person shooting that gets more fun as soon as an R3 slow-down mode is implemented. You get a hoverboard and go through a few cool sequences as the visuals in the game are honestly pretty stellar for a video game ESSAY of all things. You're also given a double jump and the ability to hover in the air which is fun. All these things make for pretty fun movement system... and then the game strips all of these away from you. Yes, the game goes from interactive to explicit in one single chapter. it SUCKS. The developer points out that while enjoying the new God of War games, he feels that the developer doesn't trust the player. By not allowing Kratos to jump and making certain ledges only climbable with △ when you're right in front of them... the game's fun slams to a halt. I didn't know it was THIS bad until I FELT IT playing this game. I didn't realize how much I, as a player, love to hop around endlessly with jumping and experimenting taking janky routes. When the game stripped around jumping and hovering and only allowed me to do it when the game LET me do it, my enjoyment with the game cratered. The developer points out how a game like Red Dead Redemption 2 can earn and justify its use of an explicit system. Whereas a game like Final Fantasy XVI dragged on and felt awkward as hell in comparison. I saw a lot of Joseph Anderson streams on FF16 while in Puerto Rico. Stuff outside of the main story is excruciating.

A Shadow of Bigger Things to Come? - The game concludes Chapter 5 with a small boss fight with a friend where you climb a giant enemy you've been fighting all game and when you finally take him down and have a slightly somber conclusion, the director of the game declares video games have been chasing the high they achieved in 2005. Before collecting continue I kept asking myself... what on earth is he talking about? 2005? What great game came out in 2005? Oooooooh Shadow of the Colossus. That's a cute tie-in with the final boss. Yea, I've gotta be honest, I love how the director used actual video game examples to illustrate the points he makes in the essay. It feels like it's shockingly rare to hear any game director comment so directly on titles, especially critically. I understand WHY. But it was so cool to see an indie developer do this. I say this because the creators, Fears Ahead Studios, are working on their first full proper release. It's called Tuesday Morning. You can find the trailer here.

Would I recommend Interaction Isn't Explicit? 100%. This is my easiest recommendation of the year. If you're a consumer who wants to educate themselves on what you find enjoyable in certain games compared to others, this is a fantastic baby-step introduction to figuring out WHY you like certain things in games. I also love how the developer... even thought about doing this. Busy developing his first ever full release and he decides to release this side project and this side project automatically elevated himself to me compared to so many other studios that release a meh, kinda crappy 1st game. Why is the music THIS freaking good for a VIDEO GAME ESSAY? Talk about whetting your audience's appetite and putting yourself on the map for those of us who keep track of who makes the games we love. I'd genuinely love to play one of these once a month exploring different push vs. pull decisions developers have to make while creating a game. The older I get, the more I appreciate these concise, focused experiences. Props to the developer one last time for being so innovative and I'll be sure to keep Tuesday Morning on my radar when it eventually releases.

Panda Score: 7.07 / 10

Panda Difficulty: 1.5 / 10

Spoiler

Interaction Isn’t Explicit
2-Feb-2024
* Good music intro, Fears Ahead Studio
* bioshock game plays itself shoot racist guy comment explicit systems
* context sensitivity
* Tuesday morning is the deve;oper,s mnext game grappel hook
* fun glide and r3 slow mode while shooting
* devs love p5
* water flipped
* press f to pay respects
* GAME TOOK AWAY MY JUMP THE JERKS
* god of war example used no jumping…
* dev prefers RD2 for basic explicit systems but feels final fantasy 16 can’t as themes/world production/writing arent as well-crafted
* “Explicit systems can’t hold the weight of an entire game by themselves like interactive ones” TRUE
* final boss fight
* believes industry peaked 2005 shadow of the colossus greatest game because atmosphere, themes, music, story,
* kind directors note at the end about this study
* that was a lovely little short game, great job young dev! that’s a proper 7/10 for me good use of time!
* definitely love the creative use of the title for the game even more now

YaManSmevz · February 3

2 hours ago, realm722 said:

Game: Interaction Isn't Explicit (Mosey Adventure)

That sounds fascinating! I'm weirdly picturing the Trolley Problem simulation from The Good Place, but in gaming format🤔

Great write-up as always, my dude👊

realm722 · February 9

The Video Games I Would Create If I Had Talent (Part 3)

Episode #1 of this Series

Episode #2 of this Series

The Elevator Pitch / Genre: Boss Rush(Action, Complex) + Diagloue Interrogation Mystery + Supergiant Music/Visuals

Where I Got The Idea From - The other day I was reminiscing through my gaming catalog and couldn't help but be reminded of the absolute blast I had while playing Furi. A phenomenal action boss rush game that is still stamped in my memory nearly a full 3 years later. It's a bit surprising to me not even one of the "let's make a Souls-like" conglomerate of indie developers has tried their hand at their own sort of boss rush game without any filler/trash mobs to deal with. But then I thought about... what if... you could have two radically different play-styles in a boss rush game. What if you could talk with the bosses? Rather than fight them physically, engage in a bit of a duel of the minds, and try to get whatever you need to obtain, without resorting to violence? I'm reminded of such films such as Oleanna (David Mamet's 1994 film based on his own play), Malcolm & Marie, and My Dinner with Andre. All 3 of these are fundamentally on their most basic level an entire film revolved around 2 people speaking with one another. There are not any side characters. There are not any exotic locations to visit. There is rarely any exciting visual action / tension. It's all... just... taking. and YET it works. On different scales. My Dinner with Andre is my favorite of the 3 as it's a dynamic interaction between two perspectives over dinner. Malcolm & Marie has to deal with a couple bickering and DBZ powering-up on how much they're insulting one another. And Oleanna shows how an initially somewhat peaceful if irritating exchange can become hostile by the end. What if there was a compelling way to take what those movies provide, gameify it, and put yourselves in their shoes to avoid tension?

Boss Rush - This is the least radical part of my pitch. It's the most straightforward aspect of the game to sell to most consumers. Did you enjoy Furi? Did you enjoy Jotun? Then enjoy a game where we don't waste your time with any minor enemies to deal with. It's bosses all the way down. The real-time action combat refinement will take plenty of time to get down right. You want a versatile moveset that let's the player have some variety to their strategy. While I think the game should undeniably be difficult, a generous harsh difficulty such as that of Furi where you're still allowed to take a handful of hits and even get knocked down once or twice is acceptable. It's very important that these fights don't come across as gimmicky. I've seen Titan Souls tossed into the Boss Rush category and the more I see that the more I hate the label. It's really more of a puzzle game. Each boss has one specific trick you need to pull off in 10-15 seconds and isn't really a duel. I want to avoid that. Give the people what they paid for. Exotic environments such as visiting a wealthy somewhat older woman's manor. A man who lives in isolation along a cliffside. Make these conversations start off at the player's discretion and they decide whether they want to get right into the fray of things with violence or... opt for a peaceful approach.

Dialogue Interrogation Mystery - This is the neat trick of the game that would make it noteworthy and eye-popping for indie devotees. How do you make talking with characters as compelling as fighting them with action combat? It's a hard challenge. But let's try. I think the premise of the game could be about a veteran, grizzly, now-retired private investigator telling the stories of his younger life to his grandchildren. This allows you to do some fun things regarding an unreliable narrator. Your protagonist was hired by an agency to get intel on an incident that occurred and there are 6-7 people who have firsthand knowledge of events from that ordeal. You're paid as a mercenary to go get results. They don't care what method you use, just get the damn job done. I am all for hamming this up to ridiculous levels and think there's so much room to play with that premise. Make the characters bombastic and extreme. Maybe some of the come across friendly enough and get you tea or something to chill with. Make others cold and brash and make you want to pull the trigger on fighting them as soon as possible. Stellar voice acting is crucial for this to succeed. You've got to get a proper writer which keeps players engaged with the material at hand rather than zoning out and saying "screw it let's blast these nerds". I think a dynamic ever-changing free-flowing conversation where you decide when you speak-up such as that found in Oxenfree could also be a plus.

Supergiant Music / Visuals - Wow. What a concept Realm. You want good music and visuals in your video game? Why doesn't ever indie developer do that? Are they stupid? Yea I know this is dumb but I really think this is important. Having plastic-looking or bland visuals aren't going to be enough to bring people into the circus tent to try out a game that's experimental like this. You need the characters to be hot. You need one REALLY hot looking boss fight lady that you splash on all of the promotional material. You need a badass older looking fella who looks like he takes rest days so the WEIGHTS can have a day off from HIM. Every boss needs their own theme song that the player will grow to appreciate as they hear it loop over and over again as they get their asses hand to them. Combine all these elements and I think we may have a hit, ladies and gentlemen.

The Unfeasibility Of This Game - I acknowledge my wishes here are a bit unrealistic. Ultimately, I am committing a video game creation cardinal sin which is combining two different genres that really don't vibe with one another. An action boss fight game with a dialogue-heavy system. Players who love action are going to want to blaze through the social parts for the fights. Players who don't like to fight may not even be able to finish the game if they fail in the dialogue sections and piss off the opposing character enough to the point where fighting is their only option. This doesn't even get into the weight of having to build a robust enough gameplay system to make the combat actually fun OR paying the $$$ you'd need to get quality voice acting OR paying the $$$ to writers to make dialogue worthy enough for the voice actors to then carry out. Until then, this game shall live only in my memory, and yours too, if you're so inclined.

realm722 · February 10

Game: Rock of Ages 3: Make & Break (Tower Defense / Racing)

Analysis: I bought Rock of Ages 3 when it was on sale for $2.99 towards the end of October 2023. This is my 2nd game played from ACE Team based outta Chile!

Why Rock of Ages 3? This series first popped up on my radar a year ago when I was looking for developers based out of various countries in South America. I had discovered ACE Team, Chile's most prominent studio and while at the time I decided to play The Deadly Tower of Monsters, I distinctly remembered this game's ultra-rare platinum standing out for me. I had read at the time that it was a bit buggy and there were some online trophies so I decided to punt on the notion of playing it then. But several months later I saw it pop up on sale and figured what the heck, I just like how weird as hell it looks and figured it could be a good time when I wanna challenge myself. That time came in February 2024.

What the Heck is This Gameplay - I love going into video games completely blind so you can imagine my surprise when the general idea of the game is a mishmash of a variety of genres. Let's break them down. War is the game mode which serves as the heart of the game. You first spend time in the level building up your defenses along a track/course where you hope to destroy the other team's boulder before they hit your castle gate. Meanwhile, once your boulder is "constructed" and ready to go, you navigate the course and the obstacles they've placed in your path to try and destroy their gate before they destroy yours. It's honestly pretty decent. I imagine the fun that could be had with 2 players racing against the clock against each other and some of the photo-finishes that could be achieved. Time Trial is a mode where you merely race to the end of a course and earn a bronze, silver, or gold medal depending on your ability. Obstacle course is another boulder-only mode where you try to race towards the end ahead of two other competing boulders that are either played by people or AI. Skee boulder is pretty similar except you try and get points on the way to the end and must pop into one of the holes with a multiplier of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ot 6 to boost your overall score. Finally, you have "Unit Challenge" which is a miniaturized version of War that's super difficult to fail at if you're even mildly competent and finally Avalanche mode which is the only one where you don't race whatsoever and it is a mere tower defense with an onslaught of boulders trying to prevent them from tearing down your gate.

Story Mode & 133 Stars - I hope you like those game modes because I've gotta be honest, the story mode is all about repeating those same gameplay loops over and over again across various times in history. Sometimes you'll fight Queen Victoria, other times it'll be the Tsar of Russia, and sometimes it'll be a Spaghetti Monster. I honestly didn't find this process TOO bad. It's all about getting into the rhythm of things. Skee boulder, obstacle course, and unit challenge were by far the 3 easiest modes and I rarely ever had to reset or give things a 2nd try. Time Trial was fairly straightforward even if it took me a few attempts and the spaghetti time trial is BS so use this video to find the cheat way to finish on time for the gold medal. Where things started to get more tricky is when you start with the War/Avalanche multiple stars. You see, in War, to earn BOTH stars, you need to annihilate your opponent before your gate falls below 50% health. This can be tricky with how fast the AI generates their boulders. Thus, you need to be able to destroy them, maneuver your boulder well enough to THEIR gate to do big damage, and hopefully only take 3-4 turns of full hits before winning. What's the strategy I used? I say go for all the other modes first and save these for the end. The set-up I personally loved to use for winning war in the end game was the following: Lion Boulder (or fire boulder, sometimes opposing courses would be so tricky I wanted Lion as it was a bit beefier), Bank, Windmill Fan, Guillotine, Wheel of Pain, Whale. In essence, you want defense methods that DO massive damage to the point they can outright kill the opposing boulder. Miniature potshot damage ain't gonna move the needle and you're gonna be so busy rolling yourself, you're not gonna have time to waste striking it with your cloud of lighting. I highlight the windmill fan because I loved the set-up of placing a few all along a certain narrow portion of the track, and JUST in front placing the guillotine. The boulders would slow down and give time for the guillotine to deliver MASSIVE damage to the boulder, frequently killing them. Whale is great for getting boulders off track. Wheel of pain does great general damage. Battering rams are also solid. Once you find a winning formula, it's fairly easy to carry over to all the other war matchups. Spaghetti Monster is annoying as hell with the meatball and I finally got lucky where it glitched and he couldn't even move which led myself to victory. Now there's one mode left to talk about... Avalanche mode.

It’s Not That Glitchy - If you've read anything about this game on the forums, there are multiple threads dedicated to the glitchiness of Avalanche mode and how the game is broken. I will confess that Rock of Ages 3 very much feels like it's being held together by a very thin thread and at any moment it can break on you. The level creation creator is clunky on console and I didn't even bother with it. On one war mode, my boulder glitched and wouldn't move and I had to reset the matchup. The game crashed on me once in Avalanche mode. The worst mode for glitches is Avalanche mode. But it's not unplayable. Essentially, there are two maps specifically in a paltry condition. @stpatty had it right when they said they're the Switzerland map and Tenochtitlan. The former gave me hassle because defenses you build AFTER the round begins will simply sink into the ground. The trick around this for me was ONLY to build during the build phases. Do not construct when boulders are rolling. You'll be given 2 minutes on the clock to fortify your defenses for the 2 rounds and from then on it's all about relying on your lightning to explode boulders before they reach the end. The annoying thing is, to earn 2 stars, you need to make sure not a single boulder touches your gate. So it may take a few attempts to find the right set-up. I personally enjoyed Tower, Sticky Cows, Wheel of Pain(game-changer since it does big damage), Battering Ram, Springboard Traps, & Explosive as my set-up which won a lot of the time. The glitch on this map was that one boulder about 1/4 into the map would move a LITTLE BIT, stop, freeze, and then be dropped back down like it fell off the map. It was stuck like this for like 10 minutes. Then for whatever reason the game sorted itself out and I managed to explode it before it reached the end and got the two stars. On Tenochtitlan, same thing, except this time it was a boulder glitched at the very start of the map that would roll a bit, freeze, reset, and repeat. Somehow, like 12 minutes later it finally kept rolling and I destroyed it. The other maps didn't give me any hassle.

A Great Movie Game For Grinding - One of the reasons I enjoyed my time with the game is that while the gameplay loops were straightforward once you learned them, they were always just tricky enough to keep me engaged and not feel completely mindless. Navigating the boulder against obstacles takes concentration and skill to control your momentum and not get destroyed. Tower defense is actively engaging with the cloud lightning strike mechanic and trying to time when the boulder will pass through your cone of control. Since the game isn't narrative or story-focused, you can zone out to those loops while watching movies. I watched A LOT of movies. Sometimes it's nice to have a game where you can do that as another game I'm going to complete latter this month is the complete opposite in that regard. Once I wrapped up the story mode, I focused on the random boss trophies which are super simple and from there focused on the online-only portion. Thankfully, you don't actually have to play online. By playing in private lobbies, you're allowed to boost your rank online for the High King achievement against the AI. You need to reach 5,000 points in the War game mode to hit this mark. It's not too bad. I found a user-created level called "Really easy rank" on the Russia map design by a user called "DanknessBoi69" and map ID of "3EHKW". You roll backwards from the start and do 240 damage every time, 3 times, and win every time as the opposing AI boulder doesn't realize the map is glitched. It took me around an hour and a half to do the full mindless grind but once it was over, I had earned the 3.09% ultra rare platinum in just 6 days and 20 hours! Not too shabby!

Would I recommend Rock of Ages 3? Perhaps. I am a weirdo who enjoys weird video games. I recognize that this sort of title isn't for everybody. Perhaps you grow tired of the gameplay loops well before I did. Perhaps the glitchiness grates on your patience more than it did mine. But there's an undeniable charm factor here that some other games lack. This was a passion project for a genre that doesn't get much love in the modern era. Tower defense but flip it and make it about taking on cultures from different eras while including an action boulder racing mechanic that's pretty fun when you learn how to turn corners smoothly and plunder the opposing team's defense. It only took me 15 hours to platinum and if you're a bit better than I am at a few levels and wait until the end for the War/Avalanche modes, you can probably complete it even faster. That's two games I've completed now from ACE Team and I've enjoyed them both. Those Chileans know what they're doing!

Panda Score: 7.37 / 10

Panda Difficulty: 4.84 / 10

Spoiler

Rock of Ages 3
2-Feb-2024
* Very unique art style Odysseus
* bro gets stomped and eaten by a cyclops
* okay that tutorial just rolling a boulder down a hill lol
* okay that tutorial was janky as heck defending but hey
* okay final got the hang of it a bit, it’s kinda fun nonsense man!
* finally running into the glitchiness of avalanche mode with boulders getting stuck… i see the complaints
* Avalanche: Tower, Sticky Cows, Wheel of Pain, Battering Ram, Springboard Trap, Explosives,
* War: Lion Boulder, Bank, Tower, Windmill Fan, Guillotine, Wheel of Pain, Whale
* grind for plat 5k rank took an hour and a half just a hash over, used “Really easy rank” Russia map, DanknessBoi69, “3EHKW”, 240 dxamage per with fire boulder and you’ll fly through the process

stpatty · February 10

The Rock of Ages games are great. III is a bit broken but all the trophies still work. There may even be a guide somewhere to help you.

realm722 · February 11

9 hours ago, stpatty said:

The Rock of Ages games are great. III is a bit broken but all the trophies still work. There may even be a guide somewhere to help you.

Appreciate it mate.

RealM722's Trophy Cabinet

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