RAPHATIYEH23 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) So I thought I would share this story because I found it hysterically funny. But a little background story before I post the funky poem my friend made. For the past few weeks a friend of mine, Valentino, asked me to help him with boosting some Killzone 2 online trophies. few being the ribbons/medals & 1% Grand Valor trophy. We boost and boost, do a little progress here and there...until one day he decided to jump into Campaign and start with Elite difficulty...little did he know how insanely difficult and frustrating it was. So he comes to me and asks how in the world did I ever manage to complete & platinum this game. I just told him you need alot of patience and persistence and blah blah blah... but he didn't feel motivated by my words... and yet he continued on his struggle with the campaign. He barely reaches the end of the first mission, almost collapsed and tired from the constant butt-rape from the fierce helghans... and so he sends me a text message at 4am...and this is how it went: (the following poem was inspired by the very famous shrek is love, shrek is life poem... just in case your wondering) I was only 9 years old I loved Killzone 2 so much, I had all the merchandise and trophies I pray to Killzone 2 every night before bed thanking him for the life I've been given. Killzone 2 is love I say, Killzone 2 is life My dad overhears me and calls me a faggot I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for the Helghan Empire I called him a ♥ He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep Im crying now, and my face hurts I lay in bed and its really cold But a sudden warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me Its Killzone 2! I am so happy He whispers in to ear "this is elite soldier difficulty" He grabs me with his powerful helghast hands and puts me on my hands and knees I'm ready I spread my ass cheeks for Elite difficulty He penetrates my butthole It hurts so much but I do it for Killzone 2 I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water I push against his difficulty I want to please Killzone He roars a mighty helghast roar as he fills my butt with his love My dad walks in Killzone 2 looks him straight in the eye and says "Its all platinum now" Killzone 2 leaves through my window Killzone 2 is love, Killzone 2 is life ~ Valentino {Psn: b56324890} At first I found this poem to be funny as hell... but soon after, it became a revelation of some sort. It dawned to me the horror and pain I had struggled years back when I was playing this game. This poem was quite touching to me, felt many different emotions all at once, mixed feelings and memories of god-awful missions and boss fights. However, I am thankful that I've lived through this game's torment and beyond, because it taught me that any gamer can simply play a game, but only few can hope to beat itGood Luck with the platinum, Valentino... you're gonna need it Edited August 4, 2014 by RAPHATIYEH23 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Gotakibono Posted August 4, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted August 4, 2014 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChickenExotic Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) we can post pics only as a response now? alright!!! Love Killzone 2, Elite mode is punishing! Edited August 4, 2014 by HARD_ANGEL_FAN 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 cool story bro Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Weight Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I tried to play Killzone 2 but couldn't get into the game at all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InverseSquared Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 (edited) . Edited August 31, 2016 by SeanStrange 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeautifulTorment Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Why is his psn ID so lame? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindMango Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I'm not quite sure what to say about that poem, lol - Killzone 2 was no doubt one of the craziest experiences I've had with the platinum trophy though, oh Radec, what a hell of a boss battle. And stupid Rico who you constantly kept having to revive... and those ridiculous online trophies... good times, lol Also, you're from the UAE? Dubai maybe? That place is so epic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beyondthegrave07 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I think a meme is in order to describe what I just read... Uh, thanks for the read?!? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerapher Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 And I thought I loved Killzone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finallife5 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I hated Killzone 2, irrelevant comment to irrelevant topic thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramozig Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 I'm sorry, but your friend has a fucking awful PSN name I hope he isn't getting trophies on that, I don't usually judge peoples PSN names, but that name just lacks in every department. It's bloody useless. How is he referred to online? and how the hell does anybody add him? At school/work is he saying to his co-workers, oh add me when you get home.. oh what's my PSN again? It's um.. b56324890 If you were a true friend, you'd tell him to make a new psn name. Cool poem though, well cool switch of words at least. P.S my post was said in jest, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just calling out your friend in a sarcastic manner. Tell him to call himself FatSumoValentino or something, it rhymes and it's easy to remember. See, I noticed a problem and I offered a solution. I'm not an asshole after all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razza Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NTGSruler Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Just completed Elite playthrough yesterday and got the platinum.. It is brutal and it is hard, but in the end it's all about persistance. I started with the last level (Road to the Palace, Radec fight) and i took my about roughly 8-10 hours just to beat it. Constantly dying, trying again, searching for options, figuring out how and where the enemies spawn, using your environment... It's all part of the game. If you can beat this level, you can beat the rest of the game. Oh yeah and then there is still the train mission... Maybe it is just for the few who can beat it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 It's all ogre now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aboelsas Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Killzone 2 is Love, Killzone 2 is Life i loved every second of this game, hoping to pick up Shadow Fall one day when i get the PS4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goekie Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Valentino needs a real life girlfriend cos this shit was so nerdy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mint-x-Tea Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 first of all: .... i agree with goekie. maybe i just cant follow your friend b56324890 because i was quite disappointed from killzone 2 and did not fall in love with it, hoping to be buttraped by helghan fists Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternalChaos72 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 the images you just put in my head ;) Elite mode wasnt all that bad, visaris palace, and the bridge level was the worst for me but i got through it in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fierce_DeityX1 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Oh hey a ripoff of Shrek is love, Shrek is Life. You know one of those videos that make you stupider everytime you watch it. I swear that video is only watched by teens are stll hitting puberty and think its funny. I tried listeining to zip-a-dee-doo-dah to get faith back in humanity and make me happier and that didnt help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunOnlyToMe Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 we can post pics only as a response now? alright!!! Love Killzone 2, Elite mode is punishing! yes you can, only IF Sly see it you have a problem and get one warning point cuz its spam, but IF he doesnt see it its ok and you can do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xxleonardo97xX Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 My IQ just dropped 5% 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
willmill97 Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok then? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuffyZorugelion Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 Looks like this guy really is in LOVE with Killzone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoIidWoIf Posted August 4, 2014 Share Posted August 4, 2014 What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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